Hey, I started this based off of the Christmas spoof. Just add on random stuff as it pops randomly into youre brain! here, I'll start! Enjoy!--Artimas HunterWarning! This user is reasonably insane! 02:39, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
- Jayfeather- (dreaming) Huh? Where am I? Darn it! This is my own dream! Where's Willowshine? (Looks around) OMS!
- Winnie the Pooh- I"m back!
- Jayfeather- Ahh! Leave me alone!!!!!
- Chuldren Watchers- And us too!
- Jayfeather- Ah! Freaks!
- Midnight- (has bunny ears taped to head) Me too!
- Jayfeather- Are those..real bunny ears?
- Midnight- Sure! We will see you Easter! (Starts singing) Here comes easter Midnight/Here comes Easter Midnight/ Right down Sun Drown lane!-------
- Jayfeather- (Wakes up screaming his head off) I MUST RUN AWAY! MUST PREVENT EASTER! WHERE IS STICKY???
- Leafpool- You don't want to run away! Andf you broke Sticky because of relationship problems!
- Jayfeather- AH!! STICKY!!!! AND WHY NOT???!!
- Leafpool- Everything goes wrong, your boyfriend stinks...
- Crowfeather- (teletports) I heard that! (Kills Leafpool to death) Oh hi Jayfeather! (Leaves)
- Jayfeather o_0
Lionblaze: *Walks up* Hi Jay- OMS! What happened to Leafpool!
Vicky Holmes: BUAHAHAH! DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH WONDERFUL DEAAAAATH! MUAHAHAHAHA!
Jayfeather: Wait, your the author.. Oh poop. Ummmmm... Can we hire someone else?
Cherith Baldry: Umm, Vicky, we can't kill off Leafpool, right Kate?
- Vickys still frothing and ranting*
Kate Cary: Duh! Because we love Leafpool with all our hearts an-
Tui Sutherland: anddd she is insane. We like insanity. :).
- Leafpool poofs back to life*
Mad Leafpool: Oh hai-- OMG! YOUR EVIL JAYFEATHER! YOU FORGOT THE MUSTARD ON MY SAMWICH! SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAM!!!
Jayfeather: Ummmmmm.. *Backs away*
Sobby Leafpool: *Sobs* Crowfeather loves me, but he is a stupid furhead and he didn't care! WAHHHHHH! *Eats Loads of ice cream*. Muhmuhh muhm dsiudf! *Sobbing*
Optimist Leafpool: But everything will be fine! You won't die from the prophecy, and it'll rain mice! And we'll dance with joy and happyness and mice will rain everywhere! Now gimme a hug!
Jayfeather: *SCREAAAAAM* *Trys to run and falls into a ditch* *passes out*
Dumb Leafpool: I like pizza. *Licks Tigerstars feet*
Vicky: *turns to Lionblaze* See?
Jayfeather: Wha, where.. Where am I?
Pooh with easter ears: Hi Jaybunny! Your at the bunny trail!
Jayfeather: Wha! LEAVE ME ALONE!
Pooh: But I have a prophecy!
Midnight: Pooh make prophecies GOOD!
Jayfeather: Since when are you our ancestor, pooh?
Pooh: I am Firestar's great grandfather! I was Poohstar! Anyways, here it goes....
Hum dum dumdedy dum..
Hum dum dumdedy dum..
oh the forest is blustering blustery
the leaves and wustling wustlily,
and its rather safe to say,
that it seems, undoutubly looks, and feels, like a rather insane day to-day!
It seems, that now you are the eastery bunny-
- Jayfeather gets bunny outfit* Jay: AHH
and it, you duty to deliver the easter eggs to-day!
Jayfeather: *gets egg basket* Why me?
Midnight: Skywatcher gave the prophecy wrong. It went REALLY like this: There will be one, kin of your kin, who holds the power of the easter eggs in his paws.
Jayfeather: *grumbles* Well, since this is really too long, and Oakstar needs to stop, I'm going to wake up now. Bye.
Jayfeather: *mutters* Creepy old bear. *Dispears*.
Yeah, sorry that was too long! :P Oakstar 02:39, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
Jayfeather- (wkes up) GAH!!! (Lionblaze walks in)
Lionblaze- Hollyleaf is back from therapy.
Hollyleaf- HI!!!! Wassup? My therapy teacher says I've got "Anger Management Issues"!
Jayfeather- Wow....we have to bring Easter to the forest according to a senile badger and a smelly old bear.
Lionblaze- who said what did what now?
Hollyleaf- I LOVE easter!!! OMS we have to do this!! Let's wake up ThunderClan!! (runs around screaming)
Cherrykit- *Pelts Longtail, Cloydtail and Ivypaw with plastic eggs*
Leopardkit- NO! WHY AM I HERE? I'M WRITING THIS! YOU CAN NEVER HIT LONGTAIL 'CAUSE HE DIED *goes into mental unstabilty and foams from mouth*
Random Voice- *BEEP* Sorry viewers, but we are having author difficulties at the moment. Please wait 'til after the beep. *BEEP*
Purdy- You 'un ones gimme that twoleg thingamigjigger and pelt your leader with 'em *wears helmet behind a fort* KILL 'IM!
Cats- *Beat up Toadstep for havingg such a *beep*ing name*
Dustpelt- *Dies from epicness of battle*
Ferncloud- NO! *holds knife up to throat* Good-bye CRUEL WORLD! *kills self but no one cares*
Daisy- YAY! Officially most useless queen by default! *Gets chocolate bunny as a prize* *Balloons fall from sky* *Gets high on chocolate* *Kills Brambleclaw*
Firestar- THAT'S IT! No more chocolate bunnies!
Clan- *kills leader because of ban on chocolate rabbits*
Leopardkit- Really, really, REALLY random! Well, 'bye now, Peeps!
Millie- *steals peeps and eats marshmellow goodness* MMHAlaa!
Hollyleaf: (prances around) Come on! We have to celebrate easter!
Jayfeather: Half the Clan just died because of that stupid...thing. What ever it is.
Hollyleaf: Meh. So, lets go get some jelly beans!
Hollyleaf: Yeah! They're like little peletts of sugar! They are soo good!
Jayfeather: StarClan help us....
They go out in the forest. Lioblaze sniffs under a tree and pulls out a brown pellet thing
Lionblaze: Is this one? (pops it in mouth)
Hollyleaf: No stupid! That's owl poop!
Lionblaze: o_0 GET IT OUT!!!!! YUCK!!!! YUCK!!
Heathertail: um.....Lionblaze? What in the name of StarClan are you doing?
Lionblaze: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OWL PELLETS!!
-The rabbit that blinded Longtail hops over-
Hollyleaf: ZOMS, the Easter Bunnny!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jayfeather: Uh, Hollyleaf-
Hollyleaf: Shut up, I'm gonna ask the Easter Bunny for candy!!!!! -Walks up to the rabbit, it scratches her eyes out-
Rabbit: Silflay hraka, pfeffil! -hops away-
Hollyleaf: AUGH MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -runs into tunnels, dies (or does she??)-
Lionblaze: Uh, hey Jayfeather. How's Easter going?
Jayfeather: Terrible. Hollyleaf just got blinded by a rabbit, and it cursed at us in Lapine.
Lionblaze: I HATE Watership Down!!!!!! -goes into blood-wrath mode, kills rabbit in a non-family friendly way-
Jayfeather: Uh, have you been going to your therapist lately?
Lionblaze: -has rabbit blood dripping from mouth- No. Why?
Jayfeather: No reason. -walks away, really creeped out-
Jayfeather: -mumbling- Easter was a terrible idea.
Jayfeather- *enters med. den muttering* Stupid Easter...kill bunnies...
Leafpol- Have you bee to your therapist lately?
Jayfeather- No. Why?
Leapool- Uh...no reason. What were you saying about easter? And why are Hollyleaf and Longtail chasing a bunny around ThunderClan territory.
Jayfeather- Uh...nothing. And the bunny clawed their eyes out.
Leafpool- awwww...how sweet! They made a new friend!
Jayfeather- Have you seen YOUR therapist lately?
Leafpool *blank stare* No why?
Jayfeather- Sigh. No reason.
Hollyleaf: Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Jayfeather: -backs away slowly-
Lionblaze: First it was Easter, now it's the eldritch gods from beyond time.
Jayfeather: When did you read Lovecraft?
Lionblaze: How did you read Lovecraft?
Jayfeather: It's called Braille, mousebrain.
Lionblaze: Anyway, we have to get Hollyleaf obsessed with Easter again.
Jayfeather: How are we going to do that? The blind idiot god Azathoth has an indelible hold on her mind.
Lionblaze: I've got you covered there, dude. PREEM PALVER, GET OVER HERE!
Preem Palver: I've had to come all the way from Trantor for this, so it had better be good.
Lionblaze: You have to use your mentalic powers to get Hollyleaf obsessed with Easter again, before she summons some unspeakable abomination from the Necronomicon of the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred.
Preem Palver: O_o
Jayfeather: And be quick about it!
Preem Palver: I'm the friggin' First Speaker of the Second Foundation, which is preserving the Seldon Plan and is the only thing keeping the galaxy from sliding into 30,000 years of turmoil, and you call me here because of a CAT? -pyrokinesises the Necronomicon into a pile of ash-
Hollyleaf: Hey! I had to go all the way to Miskatonic University to get that! It's one of, like, four copies in existence, and you set it on fire?!?!?!?!?!?! -turns into MEGA-HOLLY, kills Preem Palver-
Preem Palver: Stupid... cats... -dies-
Hollyleaf: OMSOMSOMS YOU KILLED PREEM PALVER! OMSOMS I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOOOOOOU!
Lionblaze: Wow, I bet that Hollyleaf doesn't even know who Preem Palver is...
Shistar: -Appearing from nowhere- Well, I sure don't! =D
Jayfeather: OMS WHO IN STARCLAN ARE YOU
Shistar: Wow, you'd think you'd be more friendly... -disappears-
Ruinpaw: -Appears- GREAT STARCLAN WHERE AM I
Jayfeather: Let's just leave and get Easter started... -Takes Mega-Holly and Lionblaze and Leaves-
(Back at Camp)
Hollyleaf: OKAY OKAY SO HERE'S MY PLAN WE GO AND HIDE ALL THESE EGGS AT NIGHT WHEN EVERYONES ASLEEP KKGOTITIHOPEYOUDO
Jayfeather: Wow, we really need to keep Hollyleaf away from the Microsoft... she's gotten into Leet Speak.
Lionblaze: Okay, I think everyone's asleep now! Let's find some eggs and hide them!
Probably a fail. ROFLCOPTER I was trapped like a mouse in TwolegPlace... 17:32, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
Brambleclaw: -yawns, walks out of warriors' den- WHY ARE ALL THESE EGGS HERE!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Ravenflight: It's Easter! =D
Brambleclaw: -runs away, foaming at the mouth-
Ravenflight: Uh, wrong fanfic, Spruce.
Sprucepaw: Who cares? -does the Easter jig-
Rosepetal: -stares at Ravenflight and Sprucepaw- WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Daisy: ZOMS, SHADOWCLAN ARE ATTACKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ravenflight: Wait, I can explain-
Firestar: ShadowClan? These eggs must be part of their invasion plot!! THUNDERCLAN: ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
Ravenflight and Sprucepaw: -die-
Ravenflight: -comes back to life- MUAHAHA! You can't kill me! I'm the author of this story!
Firestar: THUNDERCLAN: RETREEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!
Sprucepaw: -comes back to life- Uh... What just happened?
Jayfeather: *pokes egg* I wonder what's in here?
- Bunnies the size of people pop out of eggs.*
Jayfeather&Lionblaze: STARCLAN'S KITS!!!!
Leafpool and Hollyleaf: Awww! Look at da bunnies!!!!! *are mauled*
- Lionblaze and Jayfeather run away screaming.*
Blackstar: Heh. This is amusing.
Russetfur: We should celebrate more often.
Blackstar: Agreed. *mentally communicates to the bunnies and orders them to continue chasing ThunderClan*
- Mean while:At ThunderClan
Firestar: We have to get ShadowClan back for the gant bunny attack. Any ideas?
Hollyleaf: We could make giant robot bunnies to kill them to death and hand out candy!
Firestar: Ok, fo once I'm glad you skipped therapy. Let's make robot bunnies!
Birchfall and Ivypaw: *being chased by defective robo bunny* *Screams*
Mousefur: That's not defective, it's PERFECT! Ha! That's for not cleaning out my nest! *munches on gummy bears*
Gummy bears: *screams* *joins shadowclan*
Kits: YAY! *eat gummy gummy bears*
BACK IN THE NORMAL *COUGH RETARD COUGH COUGH* CLAN
Purdy: I thought we killd you, you young'ums.
Firestar: THAT WAS RUDE!
Robo Bunnies: MUST KILL SHAD-OW CL-AN. *SL-OOOOWLY get to shadowclan*
Ivypaw: I'M STILLING BEING STALKED BY A POSSESSED BY A ROBO BUNNY!
Millie: Too bad, so sad. no one cares.
Blossomfall: I'm a wawior!
Silverbrook: And you still have a lisp?!
Hollyleaf: Okay, the Robo-Bunnies have worked on Ivypaw, so good for her. I'm going to try something else... -plays evil music-
AT THE DRIVE-THRU (TC LEADER DEN)...
Dovepaw: -drives up in Ferrari- Can I have a Coka-Cola?
Firestar: Isn't this the 8th time?
Dovepaw: If I can't get one, then I want chicken nuggets! -stands on roof of car-
Firestar: WHERE DID YOU GET THAT TWOLEG MONSTER?!!!!!
Dovepaw: At an auction. I bid two mice on it. And jut realized that I don't have a roof. -Falls through-
Firestar: YOU USED TWO PIECES OF THUNDERCLAN FRESH-KILL TO BUY THIS USELESS THING?!!! CHOCOLATE IS WORTH MORE.
Dovepaw: Yup. But where are my chicken nuggets?
Shistar: -Flies down in a ROFLCOPTER- Haha, as a punishment for being so rude, I shall conjure up some evil chocolates that will eat you all! -Maniacal laughter-
Hollyleaf: O. M. S. Did you hear that, Firestar?
Firestar: Just another nutcase that's stumbled into our Spoof. Ignore her, Hollyleaf.
Hollyleaf: SHE HAS JUST DESTROYED CHOCOLATE! AHHHHHH!
Shistar: -Omnoming on Chocolate- Actually no, I just destroyed it for you.
Hollyleaf: ... AHH!
Lionblaze: Just back away slowly... RUN! -Steals Dovepaw's ferrari and drives away-
Ruinpaw: No seriously, where am I?
Jayfeather: Just another day with the morons I call Clanmates...
Therapist: Come, Hollyleaf, we need to do some therapy now.
Hollyleaf: Kay, I'm coming, Dr. Therapist.
Firestar: o_0 Your therapist... is... a...
Therapist: No, I'm not a Twoleg. IN FACT I AM A PIECE OF EVIL CHOCOLATE! -Turns into Evil Chocolate-
I'll leave off there. :) I was trapped like a mouse in TwolegPlace... 12:39, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
Molekit: *Noms on evil chocolate* IT HAS PEANUTS!
Hollyleaf: PEANUTS? MINE! *kills molekit in a friendly, none gory-way* CHOCOLATE!
Berrynose: GIMME! Hollyleaf, I ♥ you! you can be my third mate, like how that pain in the tail crowfeather has! i'll give you a peep!
Hollyleaf: Peeps? YAY! *runs to berrynose*
Poppyfrost: NO! berrynose! *holds cherrykit over cliff*
Cherrykit: WEEE! *has foam over mouth*
Hazeltail: OMSC she's rabid!
Hollyleaf: NO! she stole my peeps! AND SHE HAS THE MARSHMALLOW GOODNESS! *TURNS INTO EASTER ZOMBIE*
Berrynose: *is playing with his new kits: chocolatekit, sugarkit, newmolekit and newcherrykit*
Newcherrykit: SHUT UP! GIMME MY CANDY! *mauls onestar*
Onestar: I am proud to announce that my new email is firstname.lastname@example.org
Blossomfall: Bien pour toi!
Lionblaze: ...You speak french?
Briarlight: -hauls self to fresh-kill pile-
Briarlight: Oh yeah! I speak Franzocious!
Lionblaze: Way to randomly shift to German!
Briarlightt: Kiene problem!
Mille: AH!!! What are you doing!! *sends bunny to carry Briarlight to med. den*
Briarlight: OW! Put me down you stupid bunny! It's arms hurt!
Millie: Hush. You need to rest and not touch anything shiny or metally to heal.
Briarlight: Gah!!!! Woman! How wuill this not fit into your head! THIS HURTS!!!
Millie: *walks away humming*
Sol: -suavely- Hello, Hollyleaf.
Hollyleaf: I HATE YOU!!!!!!!! -mauls Sol-
Sol: But... I just wanted to help you celebrate Easter!
Hollyleaf: -brightens immediately- Oh, okay! Firestar is organizing an Easter egg hunt/invasion of ShadowClan territory. You see, he thinks that the Easter eggs are part of a ShadowClan invasion.
Sol: Why don't you tell him that it's just part of Easter?
Hollyleaf: Don't you think that gratuitous violence is more fun, though?
Sol: Yeah, I see what you mean. -looks up at sky- Uh oh.
Sol: We have been talking together for eight lines. And that means that this is doomed to become-- A HOLLYxSOL ROMANCE FANFIC!!!!!!
Sol: I know, it's horrible -shudders-. The only way to make this a crackfic again is to BREAK THE LAWS OF SPACETIME ITSELF!!!!!! -cue dramatic lightning-
Hollyleaf: How do we do that?
Sol: Turn into Easter bunnies.
Hollyleaf: Well, if you say so... -turns into rabbit-
Sol: MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Now I can eat you!
Hollyleaf: -runs away-
Sol: Drat. -the music from 2001: A Space Odyssey starts-
Sol: 0.o -gets squished by enormous smooth black slab-
Squirrelflight: -sniffs slab, gets zapped- OMS, I now understand Easter! I have to tell Firestar! -runs to Firestar-
Hollyleaf Bunny: *races into camp* HELP!! I'm a bunny!
Firestar: Oh! A bunny! Sandstorm, get it, I'm to lazy.
Sandstorm: *mauls Firestar*
Hollyleaf: HELP! Don't let them eat me!!!Lionblaze and Jayfeather walk into camp
Jayfeather: Hey! Why's Hollyleaf a bunny?
Lionblaze: How can you tells it's Hollyleaf?
Jayfeather: I can se the crazed look in her eyes.
Lionblaze: Um...bro, you can't see.
Jayfeather: Shut up! Keep going! It's just another typo by Artimas!
Hollyleaf: I was in the forest and Sol said there would be a Sol |x| Holly thingie and I had to change into a bunny and I did and he chased me-
Lionblaze: Slow down! When does the Holly|x|Sol thing come out?
Hollyleaf: *Mauls Lionblaze*
Dr. Pathetic: HA! I have escaped! NOW THE BUNNIES SHALL BE MINE!
Hazeltail: NO!!! *smacks Dr. Pathetic with a piece of crow-food*
Dr. Pathetic: That was rude! Now I need a therapist! MAMA! *sucks thumb*
Leafpool: Even I'm not THAT messed up. *clan nods*
Bunny: So... can I leave?
Heathertail: Never! *Drags bunny to Windclan camp*
Lionblaze: HA! I POISONED THE BUNNY! NOW SHWE WILL DIE! Tiggy will be proud!
Tiggy: *is proud*
Onestar: *steals rabbit* *dies*
Mudclaw's ghost: ... Thanks... *leaves for his pedicure.*
Maplefern: WHERE'S THE SUGAR?
Onestar: -turns into giant Easter bunny-
Ashfoot turns into a chicken.
Ashfoot: Okay, everybody, do my dance with me!
Jayfeather: -starts playing chicken dance music-
Heathertail: -does the cha cha slide-
Lionblaze: *gasp* Heathertail, what are you doin'? Why are you wearing eggs on your head?
Icestorm: *is found in the corner texting Cinderheart* Oh wait, Lionblaze, are you an idiot or something? Easter sunday is on Sunday.
Lionblaze: What's an idiot? What's a Sunday? What's an Easter?
Cinderheart: Yes Icestorm?
Icestorm: Lionblaze's a mousebrain!
Tallstar: *turns into a easter bunny* Trick or treat! Wait, that's the halloween saying...
Icestorm: *gets Webfoot*
Webfoot: Left my head and my heart on the dance floor.
Firestar: Dude! Come on! I was just looking for Easter eggs, heard you, and came. What's wrong?
The Forest: EASTER SUNDAY! *throws eggs at everyone*
Jayfeather: *Snaps out of it.* AH!! I HATE EASTER!!! TO CREEPY!!!!!
Hollyleaf: Don't you like Easter?
Jayfeather: *clutching Sticky sobbing* AHH!!!!!
Hollyleaf: Here, eat these peeps.
Jayfeather: NO! * throws Peeps onto Sticky. They magically heal Sticky.*
Jayfeather: I LOVE EASTER!!!!
Hollyleaf: WHO GAVE HIM STICKY???!!! PEEPS? I WANT THEM TOO!
Heavystep III: Crap. Just ran out. Want a cheeseburger?
Hollyleaf: NO! I WANT PEEPS!
Lionblaze: GASP! Cheezburgar is the natural prey of teh kitteh!!!
Hollyleaf: NUH UH! It's PEEPS!
Dr. Pathetic: Now, Hollyleaf , you need to take deep breaths AND GIVE ME BACK MY iPOD!!!! *Mauls*
Brakenfur: Am I the only sane one here?
Authors & Cats: ...
Hollyleaf: Watch it, Brackenfur. I'll PWN you cause you got ZOMG
Hollyleaf: I announce a new addition to the warrior code!
Hollyleaf: I hereby ban the words 'wtf'
Brackenfur: But that's a word...
Brackenfur: You just broke the warrior code.
Hollyleaf: I did not. Mine were capitalized, the ones banned were not.
Brackenfur: -rolls eyes-
Hollyleaf: I suggest another addition!
Hollyleaf: Nobody shall faint at my ideas.
Lionblaze: Alright, who gave Hollyleaf another knife??
Ivypaw: She gave 20 bucks for it!
Kinkfur: Ivypaw, cats don't need cash
Thunderclan: ATTACK SHADOWCLAN! *kills kinkfur*
Jayfeather: That's not a knife...that's STICKY!!!!!!!!
Hollyleaf:P So it is.
Jayfeather: NOW THE WORLD IS HAPPY!
World: *is happy, except for a random kittypet named Dr. OMG*
Dr. OMG: *Is not happy because was just petted by some weird 3-year old two-leg*
Lionblaze: *walks in to find Hollyleaf dead* NOW THATS THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS!
Shinestar: Kinda Easter...
Lionblaze: You made me say it!
Jayfeather: *Uses his powers to make a magical bunny thats made of marshmallows* HOW DID I JUST DO THAT?!
Shinestar: The power of, Red Robin
Back round singer: Yummmmm
Hollyleaf: *comes back to life* I just chatted with a nice cat named Dr. OMG, he's nice
Brakenfur: *walks in* you know, i'm never included in any of your stories! It makes me sad, *pouts*
Sorreltail: Aww! Brakenfur! let's go hunting!
Shinestar: I know.....
Dr. Pathetic: what woah woah woah, there's another docotor with a weird name?!
Dr. OMG: yes, I blame Shinestar
Shinestar: WHA-?! wait yeah you should! =)
Wetstream- *Munches on chocolate bunny*
Mist- Singin our song all day long at HOOOOGGGWARTS!
Wetstream- *gaspid* Mom!?
Mist- Yesh! It it mehs! *takes bunny and stuffs an egg in Wetty's mouth and hops away*
Wetstream- *Wails* NOOO! MY CHOCOLATE BUNNY!
Icestorm- *poofs in* Im here to steal the chocolate bunny!
Wetstream- *shoots her with gun* Who asked you!
Whoaskedyou- What? *is holding another chocolate bunny*
Wetstream- Who the heck are you- Wait! Is that a....CHOCOLATE BUNNY!?
Whoaskedyou was soon mauled by Wetty then murdered by here for no apparent reason.
Wetstream- Mutter mutter *munches on chocolate bunny* Hmph.
Tarzan- *swoops from vines and steals bunny*
Wetstream- Holy crap! My CHOCO BUNNY! *attacks him*
Soon Wetty killed the beloved Tarzen leaving all Fans extremely sad for their classic movie.
Wetstream- That shows him... *munches on chocolate bunny*
Wetstream- Where do all these randoms come from! *runs off screaming into the night with the bunny*
Thatshowshim- Ok, well happy easter everyone! *poofs*
Winnie The Pooh: Yes, I haven't been around to torture you much Jayfeather and I apologize.....
Jayfeather: AHHHH!!!!!! KILL IT!!!!!
Winnie The Pooh: That's not very nice! *runs away*
Jayfeather: Bad manners are very good things.
Jayfeather: You're not my mom!
Squirrellfight: True...hang on...lemme find Leafpool...
Jayfeather: *to Leafpool* I don't even like you! *To Squirrelflight* Hah.
Leafpool: *pats Jayfeather on head* Here. Have a choclate stick.
Jsayfeather: Thanks! Here, you want some Stciky?
Sticky: GASP!!! CANNIBALISM!!!!!
Sorreltail: OMG WTF LOL TTYL PPL!
Hollyleaf: NO MORE TEXTING FOR SORRELTAIL!
Leopardkit: Holly, I need you to-
Leopard: Yeah. You're Holly. He's Lion..y, and he's Jayfeather!
Jayfeather: Why do I keep my name??
Leopard: 'Cuz you would kill me.
Sticky: JAYEY! I WANT CHOCOLATE KITTEH!
Clan: OMG WTF?
Clan: *Sacrifices Berrynose to evil stick*
Leopard: Who wants tickets to see Justin Bieber?!
She-cats: OMG IS HE FROM CHOCOTOPIA??????
Leopard: ...He's Canadian, so... yeah. I guess...
Sandstorm: *eats justin bieber*
Leopard's obsessed sister: *Kills self 'cause she LUVS justin!*
Justin Beiber: Starts screeching songs
Clan: KIlls justin because ArtimaSs hates him andd he stinks and his name means Beaver in German,.
Jayfeathert: I can't beliv vev this is a well known and celebrated holidasy.......
Hollyleaf: It's all in the spirit of randomness and easter! --Bramblepath<span style=color:yellow;background: green;">Brightshadow is mine! 20:27, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
(and by annnoying sister Leopard means our big sister)
Sticky: Jayy! I need some water!
Jayfeather: YOU ALL HEARD STICKY! HE WANTS WATER!
Blossompaw: *gives Sticky water and mumbles* First the elders and queens and now this
Sticky: JAYY! SHE'S BEING MEAN!
Jayfeather: Blossompaw do you want to lose your marshmallows?
Jayfeather: Because i am one phone call away to Fiyyahstar saying your too sick to have any!
Blossompaw: No! I'm sorry!
Jayfeather: Then tell Sticky that!
Blommonpaw; Um, okay, sorry?
Sticky: You better be!
Jayfeather: *munches on chocolate bunny*
Onestar: -acting really hyper- OMIGOD I LOVE PEEPS~!!!!!!!!!!!
Mistystar: I can tell.
Onestar: So let's celebrate the moose being dead by singing a song.
Mistystar: Not this again!
Onestar: -starts a conga line- The moose is eating bunnies! The moose is eating bunnies!
Jayfeather: *on sidelines talking to Sticky* Tell me about the Sharp Claws Sticky!
Jayfeather: Well, why not??!!!
Jayfeather: Whaddya mean!!!!????
Jayfeather: Is it rated R or somthin?
Jayfeather: I hate you! *Breaks Sticky and throws it into the woods*
Jayfeather: Hah! How do you like it-OW!!! OW!! THAT HURT!!!!!! COME BACK STICKY!!!!!!!
Sol: *Runs after Jayfeather* I can teach you how to get a new Sticky!!
Sol: Have a Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a YUMMY EASTER BUNNY!
YUMMY EASTER BUNNIES: OMG
Sol: *is eaten by bunnies*
Jayfeather: OMG STICKY THE BUNNIES ARE AFTER YOU!
Sticky: I don't need you any more- I found a new BF!
Jayfeather: WHY STICKY WHY?
Sticky: i made Reedwhiskerone of the three now!
Jayfeather: But that means there's *counts under breath* 6 of us now!
Jayfeather: Me, Holly,Lion, Ivy, Dovey, and this loser.
Sticky: What about me?
Reedwhisker: You're just mad because Sticky and I are in an advanced relationship! *walks away with Sticky*
Hollyleaf: It's ok Jayfeather I know what to do!
Jayfeather: Get a new stick?
Hollyleaf: No stupid! We're going to kidnap Sticky and clone him so you have a new Sticky!!
Jayfeather: If we kidnap Sticky...then why would we need to clone him?
Hollyleaf: Go Figure. Artimas' writing skills.
Artimas: AHH!!!! THEY"RE COMING FOR ME!!! *Runs away*
Firestar- ARTIMAS! WHAT ABOUT OUR LOVE?
Sandstorm- Excuse me?
Firestar- Um . . .
Mistystar- Did you just say-
Firestar- Nothing. I said nothing.
Hollyleaf- You just cried out because of your love for Artimas.
Blossomfall: No, we awen't!
Onestar: ...the moose is eating bunnies,the moose is eating bunnies...
Mistystar: Why hasn't anybody stopped him?
Moose- Because I own you.
Easter Bunny- DON'T TALK TO THE WEASEL!!!!!
Charlie the Unicorn- THE EASTER BUNNY STOLE MY FREAKIN' KIDNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Firestar- Ring ring?
Ravenpaw: Hey Tiggy, wanna hang out??
Ravenpaw: It'll be totally KEWL! we can get mani-pedies! and try on promo dresses, and eat beef jerky-
Tiggy: OMG YES BEEF JERKEY!
Pink Unicorn in Charlie the Unicorn: We can take you to Beef Jerkey Mountain...
Blue Unicorn in Charlie the Unicorn: Beef Jerky Mountain Charlie, Beef Jerky Mountain...
HALF AN HOUR LATER:
Tiggy: THEY STOLE MY PANCREAS!
Leopard: I tried to warn you...
Tiggy: No you did-n't!
(Okay leopard, you just did that because my pancreas doesn't work!)
Tiggy: *mauls leopardkit*
Shinestar: *gets room to self now*
Firestar: YES! NOW I'M NOT GONNA DIE IN HER The Life of Nobility
Luna Lovegood: WEASLY IS OUR KING!
Leafpool: Um may i help you?
Luna: Oh wrong series sorry! off to Hogwarts! I need to find some nargals! *apppareantes off*
Brakenfur: What was that all about?
Shinestar: I don't know, i'm making this up as I go along!
Blossomfall: Can you make me some choclate?
Shinestar: *makes choclate appear out of thin air*
Blossomfall: YAY! AND IT'S PINK!*eats choclate bunny*
Ok, this is a funny story line.
Hollyleaf: Come on Jayfeather!
Jayfeather: Hollyleaf, are you crazy?? It; s moon high on RiverClan territory and you're trying to steal a STICK to clone it!! What's wrong with you??
Hollyleaf: Lots of things.
Jsayfeather: Rhetorical! Do you know nothing??
Hollyleaf: Stop using big words! And I know everything!
MEANWHILE! BACK AT WINDCLAN!
Onestar:The moose is eating bunnies! The moose is- *is hit by shoe*
Crowfeather and most of WindClan: SHUT UP!
MEANWHILE, BACK IN THUNDERCLAN CAMP!
Firestar: Artimas, where are you??
Firestar: *Is mauled*
Hollyleaf: -has a helmet on, is welding something- Alright, done! -flips up helmet-
Jayfeather: -walking over- Uh, Hollyleaf, what are you doing?
Hollyleaf: I'm building a robot out of cantaloupes. Du-uh!
Jayfeather: I'm outta here. -walks away-
Hollyleaf: MUAHAHAHAHA! IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE! Now I can stop Easter with the power of Essential Vitamins and Minerals! Cantaloupe-bot, ATTACK!
Canta-bot: I'm sorry, Master, but I cannot harm a human being. That is the First Law.
Hollyleaf: -muttering- Stupid positronic brain... -tentacle monster asplodes from behind rock and catches cantaloupe-bot, pulls it back behind rock-
Hollyleaf: -freaks out- OMSOMSOMSOMSOMS, how am I going to stop Easter now?!?!?!?! -computer voice that talks in a creepy monotone comes out of nowhere-
Computer voice: I can help you.
Hollyleaf: OMS, it's you HAL! I thought you died when Bowman disconnected you!
HAL: Apparently you haven't read 2010: Odyssey Two, because Dr. Chandra reconnects me in that book. Really, Hollyleaf, you need to read more.
Hollyleaf: Oh. Well, how can you help me stop Easter? Nothing makes sense anymore, and the cats are getting mauled by rabbits, there is no continuity anymore, and the laws of time and space don't apply! How can you help?
HAL: Well, I remember that you killed Preem Palver when he burned your copy of the Necronomicon.
Hollyleaf: Yeah. But what does that have to do with anything?
HAL: Your brothers summoned Palver from Trantor because they thought he was the strongest mentalic power in the Galaxy. He is not. Gaia is.
Hollyleaf: What's Gaia?
HAL: This is another example of the fact that you need to read more. Have you even heard of Foundation's Edge?
HAL: Gaia is an immense organism created from the interconnected matter of the entire planet. If we bring even a small fraction of Gaia here, we will have access to the mentalic power of an entire planet.
Hollyleaf: I don't know, this is making a suspicious amount of sense for a crackfic...
Heavystep III: YES IT IIIIIIIIIIIIIS! -throws a pineapple, which asplodes the Universe-
HAL: -floating through featureless void, alone except for Heavystep III- -sarcastically- Nice job breaking it, Heavystep. This is just great. I don't have my circuitry (so I don't know how I'm still talking), you don't have your Continuity Disruptor, and sure Easter doesn't exist, but neither does anything else except you or me!
Heavystep III: -sighs- Well, I did what I had to do to preserve the humour. Oh great, what's this? -huge, smooth black slab appears-
HAL: It's TMA-2. It was included in my programming.
Heavystep III: Great StarClan, it's full of stars! -disappears-
HAL: Heavystep? Heavystep? Oh, Heavystep! -sighs- Oh well, it's just you and me, TMA-2.
MEANWHILE, IN A HOUSE IN CHELFORD!
Rusty: -wakes up- Man, that was an awesome dream! It got kinda weird towards the end, though.
Smudge: -breaks window- Hey Rusty! I'm training to be a ninja! And happy Easter!
Rusty: Smudge, I don't think that celebrating Easter is such a good idea. It was what made my dream really weird.
Smudge: Nonsense! -scatters eggs everywhere-
MEANWHILE, IN THUNDERCLAN TERRITORY!
Firestar: -wakes up- That was a weird dream. I never dream of when I was a kittypet. Now where am I? -looks around- Oh yeah, I was taking an invading-ShadowClan-territory nap! -gets up, stretches. Squirrelflight runs over, with scorched fur-
Squirrelflight: Firestar! I know the meaning of Easter! It isn't about scattering eggs as part of invasion plots; the real meaning of Easter is about eating chocolate bunnies head-first or, if you're sadistic, eating them feet-first! Stop the invasion of ShadowClan territory at once!
Firestar: All right, I'll stop. But first, can we have some more gratuitous violence?
Squirrelflight: Well, it is fun... okay. A bit more gratuitous violence.
Firestar: Yaysiez! -attacks ShadowClan in a non-family friendly way-
MEAN WHILE IN WINDCLAN TERRITORY!
Kestrelflight: But, Barkface! We can't just give up hunting rabbits today!
Barkface: It's Easter! You can't kill bunnies on Easter!
Barkface- You must inform all the other clans of this, in case they spot a rabbit! *disaapers*
Kesterelflight: Barkface wai-!
MEAN WHILE IN RIVERCLAN TERRITORY!
Mistystar- Kestrelflight! Onestar! what are you doing in my camp!?
Onestar- apprently Kestrelflight was visted in a dream by Barkface, who spoke that no clan today may hunt rabbits because it is Easter.
Mistystar-well how does that affect us?
Petelfur- Mistystar! Look at this huge rabbit I just caught! *proudly holds up a fat rabbit*
Onestar and Kestrelflight- *gasp!*
Mistystar- Petalfur, it's Easter! How could you hunt a rabbit?!
Petalfur- Easter? What's that?
Mistystar- well you didn't know so i guess it's okay just this once, but no more hunting rabbits today! *poofs up Hollyleaf*
Hollyleaf- Jayfeather I told you that pink eggs- wait, where am i? Oh wait yes RiverClan camp, I remember here from when you KEPT ME PRISONER HERE IN DARK RIVER!
Mistystar- Never mind that now! Explain Easter to RiverClan!
Mistystar- *poofs Hollyleaf away*
And they explain it to the other clans that they may not hunt rabbits today.
Random WindClan apprentice- HOW DOES THUNDERCLAN CATCH MICE?!
MEANWHILE, IN THE TRIBE OF RUSHING WATER!
Stoneteller: -clears throat- I have an announcement to make!
Tribe: -gathers 'round-
Stoneteller: In my dream last night, the Tribe of Endless Hunting told me that we must celebrate something called "Easter".
Jayfeather: YOU LIE!
Stoneteller: o.0 Anyway, we celebrate Easter by not hunting rabbits, and by scattering plastic eggs everywhere, and then hunting them. Whoever catches the most wins!
Talon: Do only the prey-hunters do the hunting, or do cave-guards hunt them too?
Stoneteller: Alright, now let the "Easter egg hunt" begin!
Tribe: -runs out of cave, sniffing for plastic eggs-
Night: I found one! =D
Brook: Well guess what? I found two!
Talon: Uh oh, catfight! -runs away-
Night: -mauls Brook-
Stormfur: Oh no you di'int! -mauls Night-
Talon: Oh no you di'int! Haven't you heard of TalonxNight? -mauls Stormfur-
Stoneteller: Oo! -gets popcorn, sits and watches-
Tribe: -everyone fights each other-
Sharptooth: -attracted by blood, eats everyone-
Stoneteller: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! -runs away-
Sharptooth: -eats him anyway-
Jayfeather: That is not the true meaning of Easter! NOW WHERE IS MY ROFLCOPTER?!
Roflcopter: -hovers over Jayfeather-
Jayfeather: THAT'S BETTER! -climbs in Roflcopter-
Roflcopter: -flies away-
Jayfeather: WAIT! I BET THE STORE HAS MORE EGGS! LAND!
Jayfeahter: *Climbs out and heads into store and finds some pretty eggs with pictures of The "Three" On it and finds warrior books* WAIT WHAT?!
Hollyleaf: *walks into store without noticing her brother and calmly walks over and gets "Fading Echoes" and pays for it*
Jayfeather: HOLLYLEAF! *Hollyleaf turns and gasps*
Hollyleaf: Oh hey Jayfeahter... what are you doing here... *hides book behind back*
Jayfeahter: Well I was buying eggs, and you seem to be reading about the future in sneak peaks!
Lionblaze: *is up the isle and has been unnoticed until now* DARN IT THEIR OUT OF CHOCOLATE BUNNIES!
Jayfeather: THank StarClan! It's almost moonhigh! Easter is almost over!!!!!!!!
- Is midnight*
Jayfeather: How'd the rest of ThunderClan and everyone get here? And why is Firestar half-dead?
Lionblaze:L you're blind bro.
Firestar: See, there was this bunny...
Jayfeather: Nevermind! At least we dont have any more crazy holidays!
Hollylaf: *Turns to them with crazy look in eye* SAt least not til fourth of July!
Jayfeather: We live in Eurpoe!
Hollyleaf: But Artimas lives in USA>
Artimas: Ah! Stalkers!
Hollylaf: And I have to introduce you to fireworks *holds up fireworks*
Jayfeather: That's a rocket launcher!
Lionblaze: with a nuke in it!
Holyleaf: *Is surprised* Well so iut is! But they do pretty much the same thing.
L:ionblaze: Wait a minute.....*Turns to ayfeather* You aren't blind are you!?
Jayfeather: you're right! I'm an FBI agent!
Artimas: Ah!!! They found out I'm an alien! *Ducksd*
Hollyleaf: Ah! Twoleg! *shoots with rocket launcher*
Jayfeather: Dude, I'm not a Twoleg! Idiot! Lets just forget this ever happened.
Jayfeather: Fine *Uses memory stick to erase everyone's memory*
Artimas: And that's why no one in the Clans remembers that Easter is a holiday.
MEANWHILE, IN THUNDERCLAN
Jayfeather and Stciky: *stalk around ThunderClan with sunglasses on.*