I'm going to start straight off and say that this blog is not intended to be rude, just informative in a highly sarcastic, ridicule-ish way. And I also have to beg all of you to read it. Like, please. It's an important topic to me, and I know that I hold a special place in a lot of your hearts, so I think it's important for all of you too...

Down to the point. Which, again, I stress: THIS IS IMPORTANT.

There. Got it across.

...

I'll start with the story first...

So. Tuesday, 2 October 2012, to avoid date confusion, I was a very, very busy girl! I went to school, a club meeting, then zoomed to work and then to a doctor.

Somewhere in there my confidence got crushed so low that I got home, walked to the woods........

and, yeah. I did bad things there.

Things bad enough to send me to a hospital for a week. Things bad enough to be handcuffed in the back of a police car on the way there. Things bad enough for a police-trained canine squad to have to rescue me.

Imagine what you like, but I'm not getting into specifics- I don't care who you are- so you shouldn't ask.

Cool? Cool.

Now I've been gone for a week. In a hospital ward for crazy people. Where I ate chocolate muffins, drew pictures, did word searches, and talked to doctors all day. At night I lay awake hating myself and my life.

What about my life? Everything. My so-called "friends," my parents, myself, my room, the meal I may have had for lunch, my stay in the hospital, the world I live in...

So what don't any of you understand?

That sometimes things get real. Like, really really REAL and there's nothing anybody can do about it.

Sometimes, for instance, you get put in a hospital ward with "former" drug addicts (everybody knows they're gonna get back on drugs anyway), "formerly" depressed people (fakers), "former" people with "former" eating disorders (a week in the hospital won't change a goddamn thing), etc. Crazy people that don't stop being crazy. People who live their lives back and forth, in and out of different hospitals, wishing they could just get away from it all...

Those people EXIST. There are people OUT THERE that wish they could attempt suicide and actually have it succeed... people who depend on their next drug fix, or just want to be thin with everything they have, people who come from bad home lives...

And the strange thing is that they blend right in. It's so weird.

Before you judge, get to know. Before you tease, look through their eyes. Before you assume, learn. People like it when others simply take the time to learn about them...

I'm not asking for long dramatic speeches. I want you guys to know that it happened and that I'm still here and it is my past. I want you to know that it's out there. And I want you to know that you can help prevent it by being a kind, productive, helpful member of society. I want you to know that it does matter what other people think of you, because that affects your self-image, big-time.

I want you all to know that you can help. Spread the word to end the word, do something to increase sensitivity for people's needs.

And please god. Don't get to the point I was. I swear if you do I'll murder you myself. You are loved. I know you are. If you begin to look too hard, you won't find a damn thing. Keep it simple, stupid.


I guess I'll stop rambling. That's where I was this week- in the hospital's "Really Fucking Crazy" ward.

'*shrug* Life happens.

~Fork

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