Okay silly title for semi-serious blog?
I mean, you got to get that potassium bro, seriously.
ANYWAYS BACK TO WHAT I wanted to say, which I'll cut up according to relevence.
Writing and Sads
Yeah, I'll admit it, I am absolutely forcing myself to write on my worst days (even on my best it's starting to become a huge chore), honestly, I know few people here /actually/ read what I put out (Well, depending on what it is your reading, I barely work on my show anymore, I'm on wattpad working on my sci-fi story which I'm really proud of.)
Does that anger me? Noooo, honestly, sometimes some writings ain't for everybody, that I understand enough.
But, I mean, I struggle just as much as anybody, and as humans we do slightly crave that attention and acknowledgement (!!!Important actually) (Which surprise surprise, for the important times of my life, I didn't get due to reasons), I'm not the best writer, I'm probably just barely a good one, I don't know why I get so sad when I usually have the mentality of, 'It doesn't matter if no one is reading it, if you enjoy it, that's all you need'
Which don't get me wrong, I do definately enjoy it, as some people can probably attest too.
But I'd love it more if other people enjoyed it.
I want people to read my stuff, but it always makes me so nervous because I know some people's opinions of self-advertisement, including my own. (Also I had this conversation already, and tbh, even if you self-advertise, doesn't mean the person will /actually/ commit, I am guilty of this, and I'm sure we all said we'd do something and never did)
Honestly, at this rate I'd be fine with a 'heyy good job keep it up' which I never thought I'd say because those comments don't help you improve as a writer.
Moral support, maybe? Some indication?
I constantly edit and rewrite in hopes that I'll maybe improve in some shape or form, at least enough that will make people to take a second look and see it?
I'm NOT an egotistical person, nor do I like self advertising (Honestly I want to cringe or vomit everytime I do something close to self-advertisement)
I was just raised that way I guess.
But it's like a domino effect, and lately people (not on here) have been giving me a giant headache and my temper has been on a short fuse.
I won't get into too much detail with what I have to deal with on a daily basis because meh nothing to discuss there.
EDIT: PLEASE READ IF YOU READ UNSTABLE TIMES
This is spoiler alerts (Or not since I stopped working on it)
I was planning to have -insert character name here- go bad due to super amounts of pressure from others, and another character grow up from a type of character to another type of character the end, and two characters that are besties.
That's literally it.
I was excited for it at first, but in hindsight not the best plotline I guess.
I'm just going to mention this here and now I guess.
I've told people on here that there's a reason I don't like blogs like this (Actually hate them tbh), making me a hyprocrite but whatever, we all are in some ways. I am going through a lot of emotional bs, as I've mentioned above, whether you want to call it depression or whatever, I've been down that hole before.
I don't really talk about those things though because I have tried before with varying results, whether the emotional problems and the motivation problems correlate, I'm not sure, but they're definately not helping each other out. Honestly on my worst days I want to bite someone's head off and cry or some bs. (Which guess what, this is one of my worst days, hence the much sharper tone of this blog all of a sudden)
I'm going to share some life advice I've learned over the past, you aren't going to make anyone happy or satisfied no matter what you do, they'll just find more reasons to complain, so you might as well work to make yourself happy before you start finding little things to complain about yourself because once you start doing that you can't escape it for a long time, I should know. If you want to improve as a person, that's okay, that's fine, but don't pick yourself apart for it.
That's not being pessimistic, people are literally never satisfied unless you're a perfect person.
those people don't exist, and you'll never be perfect because it's literally impossible (and I'm the person taht goes 'Nothing is impossible weee')
If you can't make others satisfied no matter what you do, don't waste your energy, simple as that, no point moping, no point going 'oh why meeeEEEE' because literally I went though that in my life multiple times and I actually hated myself more for it.
Here's a quote
"If you look for the light, you can often find it. But if you look for the dark that's all you'll ever see."
I'm an Avatar nerd what can I say.
Bird out, peace.