How obvious is it that I'm running out of blog titles.


Although this time I have a reason-ish.

As some of you know, I have a really bad stomach condition. I was diagnosed in 4th grade and, while it was manageable, I would get really bad flare-ups and sometimes it was too much to deal with. In the last year or so, those flare-ups have been getting more and more frequent until eventually it became constant pain all the time. I don't remember what it's like to wake up and feel okay anymore.

Because of this, we went to see multiple doctors (I have like 4 on speed-dial) about it. I did an MRI, an endoscopy, a colonoscopy. While they didn't find anything conclusive in any of those tests, my pain was obviously real so they set me up with a pain clinic and prescribed me new meds and we made a plan.

However, during the colonoscopy, they found an adenoma. Adenomas come in many sizes and shapes, but they're generally just little things that chill on your colon. They're basically beauty marks. Completely accidentally, the team who did my colonoscopy stumbled across one of those inside of me. Because it's procedure, they tested it to make sure it was kosher.

It was not kosher.

Had the doctors not accidentally found said adenoma, decided to take it out, and decided to test for cancer (colon cancer is ridiculously rare in teenage girls. Literally one in a million) I would probably have been dead in maybe two years.

The adenoma was precancerous, but far along. Like I said, they gave it less than two years before colon cancer got me, and since it's so rare in my demographic, I probably would have been terminal before they figured out what was going on.

That's a little terrifying.

We don't know how many more are inside of me or what stage they are. We know that as of right now I don't have colon cancer, and that since these are slow-growing tumors, I'm at the very least months away from developing it. But it's there, inside of me.

Very terrifying.

Any ways, I've been dealing with that and I've missed a semester of school because of overwhelming pain, anxiety, and depression.

But I'm getting better. I'm planning on returning to school for second semester. I'm student directing a play and doing lights for another. I still have my job and I'm going to start college visits. And I want to return to all my usual activities, and I remembered that I've been terribly ignoring you all despite the fact you all keep me pretty calm and happy.

So, my plan is to try and get back. I know I've said that so many times before, and I'm sorry. So I will add that I'm still a junior, still have a job, still very busy. But I love you guys and I miss you bunches.

As far as my stories go, I'll probably start back up with War first. I need to get back into it, so I'll need a while to reread it and get back in the mindset to do it. But I also have two days until winter break, so I hope to have episodes out- maybe even finish the season before the New Year!

Tell me what's been going on in your lives in the comments. I miss you guys so much. <3


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