Okee, I got this idea from Mistytail's 20 Random Spoofs, specifically the third spoof.


















Deputy (Joker)




Game Rules

Everyone gets seven cards. On their turn, each cat can put down maximum three cards. They can either place down a lone card, a set of three, or they can stack. A lone card is a card that is not placed on an existing set or stack. On their first turn, they can only play a lone card. A set is when three cards of the exact same cat and suit are stacked. You can't put down a set of all one cat with different suits. Stacking is to place a card over a card. You can only put down a card on top of a card one spot below them on the hierarchy, unless you are stacking on top of a set.

Game One: Trigger Time

Honeylight: Okee, guys, it's time to play!

Leafpool: Oo! Oo! Oo! Can I deal?

Honeylight: Sure thing, Leafpool! Everyone gets seven cards.

Leafpool: *deals everyone*

Firestar: Yay! I got me!

Brambleclaw: Wait, am I even one of the cards?

Honeylight: no

Brambleclaw: *groans loudly*

Cinderpelt: Wait, can we pause this? I don't know the rules.

Honeylight: no

Firestar: Can we just get on with it? I have an important business meeting in an hour.

Twigbranch: Okee ima just go first *puts down a Twigbranch of leaders*

Brambleclaw: *puts down a Crowfeather of kits*

Honeylight: Brambleclaw, you do realize that kit is the worst suit, right?

Brambleclaw: *groans loudly*

Pinestar: *walks in* Hey, can I join the game?

Everyone: no

Bluestar: Get out of here, you pilfering bag of traitorous kittypet scum.

Firestar: Hey, I'm one of those

Bluestar: *shrinks into her seat*

Honeylight: *shoos away Pinestar*

Snowfur: Whitestorm, my little baby boy, it's your turn

Whitestorm: Snowfur, I knew you for all of two moons. As far as I'm concerned, you aren't really my mother.

Lights: *flicker violently, then go out.

Redtail: Aaaaaaaaaah!

Honeylight: Redtail, are you ok?

Redtail: ya sure im fine whos turn is it hahaha

Honeylight: Redtail, are you scared of the dark?

Redtail: I'm not scared of the dark, I'm scared of what's in the dark

Honeylight: *triggered*

Redtail: No, seriously, what if Tigerstar's in there?

Tigerstar the Second: But I'm right here. Sitting next to you. Calmly. Not at all murderously.



Tigerstar the First: hi


Honeylight: Well, I guess it's Tigerstar's turn.

Game Two: Family Bonding

Honeylight: Okee, guys, are you ready for another round?

Tigerstar the Second: After what happened last time, I'm just gonna watch.

Honeylight: Okay then, we're down two players. Ima invite some of my family!

Silverfleck: I will crush you all.

Russetleap: Ima crush you first

Thistlefur: Calm down, please. I don't want to hear another word.

Fawnwillow: would you all just shut up

Honeylight: okee then

Snowfur: Whitestorm, my little b-

Whitestorm: Don't you dare.

Leafpool: I already dealt everyone. It's Fawnwillow's turn!

Fawnwillow: *plays a Firestar of warriors*

Firestar: yey thats meeeeeee

Fawnwillow: shut up

Silverfleck: *plays a Leafpool of leaders*

Russetleap: *smacks Silverfleck in the face*

Silverfleck: What was that for?

Russetleap: just because

Thistlefur: Please refrain from having a fistfight in the authors lounge.

Fawnwillow: just shut up and get on with the game, or I quit.

Honeylight: 0.o okee maybe inviting you guys wasn't such a good idea

Game Three: On Fire

Honeylight: Hmm. Where's Firestar?

Graystripe: I dunno. His meeting ended a while ago. He should be here by now.

Honeylight: Okee, Fallowtail, could you go get Firestar?

Fallowtail: Eh?

Honeylight: *searches a picture of fire on her tablet*

Honeylight: *shows the picture to Fallowtail*

Fallowtail: Okey, I'll do it.

Snowfur: How about we just start without him?

Honeylight: I thought about that, but then I just decided to get him so we could all roast him.

Firestar: Sorry I'm late, guys, I ran into Spottedleaf in the hallway.

Everyone: 0.o

Sandstorm: Oh, don't tell me you were flirting.


Rootspring: Um... What about Fallowtail? She was going to play too...

Fallowtail: I'm back!

Fallowtail: *drops a flaming twig on the floor*

The room: *bursts into flames*

Firestar: I'll save you, Yellowfang! I learned my lesson last time this happened!

Brambleclaw: how dare you

Yellowfang: I'll get myself out, you pilfering bag of fleabag scum.

Firestar: okee *proceeds to pick up half of the cats in the room and throw them out the door*

Graystripe: Firestar!

Firestar: I upset Yellowfang. I must die.

Graystripe: *slaps himself in the face* Firestar, just get out of the fire.

Fallowtail: Did I do something wrong?

Honeylight: Well, I guess I need to get a new deck.

Game Four: Lost

Honeylight: Hmm. Where is everyone? I told them all to meet me in authors lounge 4...

Honeylight: *picks up walkie-talkie* Hey, Bristlefrost, where are you?

Bristlefrost: I dunno. Somewhere between wherever you are and Idaho.

Honeylight: That's probably accurate, but it tells me next to nothing about where you are.

Graystripe: I'm somewhere near the cafeteria.

Honeylight: Anyone else?

Yellowfang: I'm in the old authors lounge. Where were we supposed to go?

Honeylight: I sent you all an email to meet me at authors lounge four.

Yellowfang: I dont do emails. Never could figure it out.

Graystripe: Okay, now I'm in the cafeteria. That pizza smells amazing!

Bramblestar: I'm skipping this game to mourn Firestar.

Honeylight: Oh, congrats on your promotion!

Bramblestar: thanks.

Graystripe: I was right. This pizza is delicious.

Honeylight: *inhales angrily*

Tree: Do I hear a slightly angry person?

Honeylight: Okay, everyone. Go find the nearest map and get to authors lounge four.

Yellowfang: Okay, Im coming.

Graystripe: Can I finish my pizza?

Tree: Can I come too?

Bristlefrost: I think I'm seriously lost. Is there a snowstorm anywhere near the authors lounge?

Rootspring: Whoops, I think I just took a wron- Oh, hi Bristlefrost!

Fallowtail: Eh?

Tawnypelt: Okee, I just got to the building. Authors lounge four...

Firestar: Oh, hey guys! Where are we supposed to go again?

Sandstorm: Firetstar, were you flirting with Spottedleaf again?


Honeylight: Ima just call off the game.

Game Five: Leafpool's Possessed (Part 1)

Honeylight: Okey, everyone is here.

Briarlight: Jayfeather isn't here.

Graystripe: I think I saw him earlier

Jayfeather: I'm right here guys

Firestar: Ima go look for him.

Sandstorm: Oh no you dont I know you just want an excuse to flirt with Spottedleaf

Lionblaze: Hey, has anyone seen Ashfur?

Jayfeather: Guys, I'm right here.

Jayfeather: *walks straight through Leafpool*

Leafpool: Maybe he got lost?

Jayfeather: *enters Leafpool's mind* I don't get lost.


Brambleclaw: That makes no sense, Leafpool.

Jaypool: Then how about I tell you something only Jayfeather and you know?

Brambleclaw: Fine.

Honeylight: Whoa there Leafpool. Recap. Jayfeather goes missing, and suddenly he's inside you? History is repeating itself....

Briarlight: I have absolutely no idea what is happening.

Dustpelt: Does this happen every time?

Brightheart: Im outta here.

Cloudtail: Same. seeya.

Brackenfur (in monotone): I. Shall. Go. As. Well.

Honeylight: Wait! We can fix this... guys... well I guess there's another game with no players.

Game Six: Leafpool's Possessed (Part 2)

Honeylight: Okey, it looks like everyone but Jayfeather is here again.

Jaypool: Actuall-

Brambleclaw: Leafpool, again with the nonsense.

Jaypool: Hrmf.

Brokenstar: Ima just sneak in there...

Brokenstar: *enters Leafpool's mind*

Brokenpool: Arg! Now someone else is in my head.

Brambleclaw: See? More nonsense.

Brokenpool: Ima be evil *performs body switching spell*

Bluestar: 0.o I can't see

Tawnypelt: What? I can't hear you.

Fallowtail: I can finally hear again! It's been so long...


Brambleclaw: Is there a problem with me

Graystripe: Firestar, I thought you were sitting over on that side of the table. And Snowfur, you were sitting next to Whitestorm!

Snowfur: I still a- O DEAR I LOOK LIKE REDTAIL

Whitestorm: Great. I look like mom.

Jaystar: Um, guys, Broken invaded Leaf and trapped Jay in her head too. I don't know whos talking right now, but it's true.

Briarlight: I actually prefer it this way.


Honeylight: *casts a spell*

Fallowtail: All da noise stopped.

Bluestar: Yey! I can walk again!

Briarlight: why

Honeylight: I guess Leafpool is out of the picture until we finish reading The Broken Code

Brambleclaw: huh

Game Seven: Secrets Revealed

Honeylight: *plays a set of 3 Crowfeather of apprentices*

Ashfur: I don't like the way this game is going.

Yellowfang: Just be grateful it's going at all. This is the longest a game has been for weeks.

Whitestorm: *stacks a Firestar of Leaders*

Ashfur: Why does everyone else get all of the good cards? I only get stupid Brokenstars and Bristlefrosts.

Bristlefrost: Hey!

Squirrelflight: Don't you insult my second-cousin's-granddaughter like that!

Ashfur: wha...

Squirrelflight: I just found this thing called a family tree app where you can find out who your family is. You're my uncle!

Ashfur: 0.o

Squirrelflight: And Brambleclaw's my second cousin!

Brambleclaw: That makes literally everything about my life awkward.

Honeylight: Could we just get on with the- nevermind.

Ashfur: Okee im sorry for threatening murder on your entire family, my beautiful niece.

Squirrelflight: ugg.

Ashfur: *typing noises* Hmm.... Did you know that Rosepetal is Foxleap's aunt and they dated for like, a year?

Honeylight: Guys, let's get back to the ga-

Ashfur: And that that weird new ShadowClan medicine cat Shadowsight is, like, three quarters ThunderClan?

Squirrelflight: This is getting out of hand-

Ashfur: And Rosepetal and Bumblestripe dated for two days?

Honeylight: Okee please be quiet shut off the laptop no more unnecessary genetics facts

Ashfur: no.

Honeylight: Okee im so sorry guys but this meeting is adjourned goodbye shoo scoot skedaddle leave

Yellowfang: Just this once, I agree.

Game Eight: The Background Characters

Yellowfang: *stacks a Mothwing of leaders* Well, guys, you better up your game, before I win this game.

Brackenfur (in monotone): *plays a set of Leafpool of deputies*

Spottedleaf: It's your turn, Hollytuft.

Hollytuft: *stacks a Crowfeather of leaders*

Thriftear: *plays a Hawkfrost of kits*

Honeylight: why is nobody saying anything?

Yellowfang: You invited all of the background characters. Brackenfur does everything in monotone, Hollytuft is mute, and the last time Thriftear spoke Brambleclaw wasn't possessed.

Honeylight: Oh. Right. Yeah.

Brambleclaw: But I'm not possessed.

All of the StarClan cats and Honeylight: .-.

Thornclaw: *plays an Alderheart of warriors*

Dawnpelt: *stacks a Leafpool of deputies on the set*

Flametail: Oo, oo, oo! I have an idea! How about next week, we play ice hockey instead!

Honeylight: I don't think so...

Flametail: C'mon, it'll be fun!

Dawnpelt: no

Shrewclaw: *plays a Graystripe of warriors* ima win soon

Yellowfang: We'll see about that

Heavystep: *plays a Firestar of leaders* I win!

Honeylight: o

Yellowfang and Shrewclaw: ._.

Shrewclaw: how dare you

Yellowfang: you- ugg.

Honeylight: Finally! we get to actually finish a game!

Brackenfur (in monotone): Whoopee. Yay.



Thornclaw: Can we all leave now? I have patrol in half an hour...

Game Nine: Calendar Issues

Honeylight: Okee guys, lets start........ wait nobodys here

Honeylight: *picks up walkie talkie* Hey, Bristlefrost, where are you?

Bristlefrost: At home. Why?

Honeylight: You were supposed to come to the Authors Academy for our card game.

Bristlefrost: huh

Honeylight: You know, for the spoof?

Bristlefrost: Wait, what's a spoof?

Honeylight: *slaps face* nevermind.

Graystripe: What's up, guys?

Honeylight: Why is nobody here?

Graystripe: Where?

Honeylight: at the Authors Academy. For our weekly card game.

Graystripe: igh guut nbh idghe whlt uureh tlkighn aboght.

Honeylight: please speak English, Graystripe. I may be from the future, but I don't speak French.

Graystripe: I wasn't speaking French. I was eating lunch.

Yellowfang: Would you all stop talking? I left my walkie talkie on my nightstand, and your jibberjabbering woke me up.

Honeylight: Why is nobody coming to our weekly meetings

Yellowfang: Our meeting is tomorrow.

Honeylight: 0.o wait wut

Game Ten: Attack of the OC's

Honeylight: Okee, guys, I invited a few OC's into our playgroup for this game.

Raystar: Hello.

Gingerstrike: Hihi

Rootbeer: I don't know any of you.

Honeylight: And, just to be nice to our guests, we all get author powers until the end of the game!

Yellowfang: do we get them too

Honeylight: fine

Yellowfang: yey *pawcuffs all of the OC's*

Bananaface: THIS MEANS WAR

Gingerstrike: But I didn't do anything!

Firestar: *uncuffs Gingerstrike*

Sandstorm: Firestar, don't flirt.

Firestar: But I wasn't flirting! She isn't even Spottedleaf.


Mistytail: Could you please uncuff me

Firestar: *uncuffs Mistytail*

Sandstorm: Grrrrr...

Firestar: *uncuffs all of the OC's*

Scorchfire: Thank you.

Sandstorm: *attacks Firestar*

Iced Blood: This is not in any way my interpretation of a card game.

Honeylight: Calm down, everyone.

Raystar: *mutes Honeylight*

Brokenleafjay: *Brokenstar exits the cat compilation* Finally! Now Jayfeather can get out.

Jayfeather: this is the strangest card game ive ever not seen.

Brokenstar: hehehe *tosses Sandstorm across the room*

Sandstorm: .-.


Brokenstar: *murders Firestar*


Raystar: *mutes Sandstorm*

Leafpool: *sniffs loudly*

Fawnwillow: Umm, could you all quiet down a bit? I'm leading an anger management session next do-o-or?

Scorchfire: 0.o

Mistytail: *jumps on Raystar and Bananaface simultaniously*

Spottedleaf: *jumps on Brokenstar*

Brokenstar: *murders Spottedleaf*

Lionblaze: FOR INTERESTING CHAPTERS! *murders Brokenstar*

Everyone: *falls silent*

Raystar: *unmutes Sandstorm and Honeylight*

Honeylight: Welp, looks like we made it through The Last Hope!

Everyone else: *blinks twice*

Game Eleven: The Warrior Cats Play

Honeylight: Guys, i have something special planned for today!

Everyone but Flametail: what is it now

Flametail: Oo! Oo! Oo! Is it ice hockey? I love ice hockey!

Honeylight: No, Flametail, it isn't ice hockey.

Yellowfang: Well, what is it?

Honeylight: We're going to see a play of the entire first series!

All of the StarClan cats except Flametail: okee

Flametail: Awww... I wanted ice hockey.

Honeylight: teleports everyone into a theater* We're here!

Stage announcer: Unfortunately, the actors can't make it today. It looks like the play will be canceled until next week.

Honeylight: *teleports everycat onstage* We know the entire plot! We can do it!

Stage announcer: .......... okey. Start filming, cameramen!

Ravenpaw: Oh, no! Redtail is dead! *stage faints*

Spottedleaf: Are you ok, Ravenpaw?

Flametail (pretending to be Firestar): She's pretty...

Longtail: *smacks Flametail/star in the face*

Flametail (pretending to be Firestar): what was that for

Bluestar: Symbolism! You have been emidiately reverted to our religion!

Tigerstar the First (pretending he's his grandfather): but he's a housecat, bluestar! Also, who's the deputy?

Bluestar: Lionheart.

Tigerstar the First (pretending to be papa evilface): *has a semi-silent hissy fit*

Graystripe: *falls through a crack in the stage* AAAA

Flametail: AAAA

Silverstream: *grabs Graystripe*

Graystripe: <3


Silverstream: o no im dying bye i guess


Silverstream: *stage dies*

Feathertail and Stormfur: mewmewmewmewmewmewmewmewmew

Tigerstar the Fir-i mean Second: I'm leader now! Just not ThunderClan :'(

Flametail: i dont like the way this is going

Mistystar: I'm Bluestar's child, apparently!

Bluestar: o no dogs must jump off cliff *jumps off of fake cliff*

Dog puppets: *are dropped off fake cliff*

Scourge puppet (because they couldn't find a kit small enough): *murders Tigerclone1* muahahahaha

Flamestar: GACK *stage dies*

Scourge puppet: muahahahaha

Flametail/star: *stage un-dies*

Scourge puppet: *flops over*

Everyone: yey

Honeylight: 0.o wow that was actually exactly how it happened

Flametail: now can we do ice hockey?

Game Twelve: 0.o

Honeylight: Okee, guys, I'm inviting a couple of my friends over to play!

Goldenleaf: Hiya

Treeheart: Wassup

Lionfur: whyamihereputmebackpleaseidontwannaplayagameputmebaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

Foxfoot: This is normal!

Ashnut: Hihi

Frogfur: The authors forgot about me and this is how they tried to make me feel better

Beechspirit: Yey! I am so excited to be here- omgosh is that Briarlight OMG U R MY HERO

Wigglescreech: hihihihihihihihihihihihi

Hoptuft: REEEEEEEEEE idk what that meeenns

Briarlight: 0.o this is a strange experience

Honeylight: Ashnut is my mate, Lionfur and Foxfoot are my littermates, Wigglescreech and Hoptuft are my cousins, Beechspirit is everyones friend, and Treeheart is my brother-in-law.

Everyone but Honeylight:

Goldenleaf: I brought my custom deck!

Tigerstar the Second: Am i in this one

Goldenleaf: no.

Frogfur: *plays a Frogfur of leaders*

Honeylight: but thats not the real deck- nevermind

Robinfeather: huh?

Fangtuft: I think we got the wrong authors lounge.

Robinfeather: Yep, you are totally right. Is this authors lounge 3?

Honeylight: no, three is that way.

Bluestar: hOw MaNy FuTuReCaTs ArE tHeRe?

Honeylight: All five Clans full

Bluestar: GACK

Honeylight: plus StarClan

Bluestar: DOUBLE GACK *dies*

Wigglescreech: 0.o is this appropriate for children, cuz im pretty sure it isn't

Game Thirteen: Ice Hockey

Honeylight: Hi, guys-

Flametail: canwepleaseplayicehockeynow?

Honeylight: Whoa, wait a sec, Flametail. Slow down.

Flametail: canwe pleaseplay icehockey now?

Honeylight: AAAAARG fine ice hockey it is

Flametail: YEY


Jayfeather: yeah, you're gonna regret that, buddy.

Honeylight: welp, its too late for regrets! *teleports everyone to an ice skating rink*

Flametail: weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Some random ShadowClan cats who's names I didn't look up: hey, flametail, wanna play with us?

Flametail: YEEEESSSSSSSS *yeets himself over to the ShadowClan cats*

Jayfeather: *running towards Flametail* nonononononono

Flametail: *falls through some random hole*

Honeylight: *calling the manager* Hi, I'm calling to report a death at your skating rink....

Jayfeather: *grabs Flametail* o dangit im blind and cant swim

Hollyleaf: ill help

Jayfeather and Hollyleaf: *drag Flametail out of the hole*

Honeylight: okee, nevermind, there was no death, my extremely distant relatives saved him.

Hollyleaf: Wait, we're related?

Honeylight: ono i just revealed important plot info....... greaaat just forget what i said okee?

Hollyleaf: .-.

Game Fourteen: Jayfeather's Daily Rant For Equality

Honeylight: *inhales* Guys, we are not doing anything crazy this time. Just a quiet card game. No ice hockey, no special invites, no nothing.

Longtail: That sounds fine.

Jayfeather: Eh.

Fallowtail: Huh?

Briarlight: I can't do ice hockey anyway. *plays a Firestar of leaders*

Longtail: *stacks a Rootspring of apprentices*

Honeylight: You just broke two game rules in one play.

Longtail: what did i do

Honeylight: You stacked a Rootspring of apprentices over a Firestar of leaders. You can't stack on your first turn.

Longtail: I'm blind and can't read.

Briarlight: He has a point, you know.

Jayfeather: Yeah, how do you expect us to read? We're disabled cats, for StarClan's sake.

Honeylight: Jayfeather, I get the po-

Jayfeather: True, the best of us can write the warrior code in the sand, but me and Longtail are blind. You can't possibly expect us to do well in a card game we can't read the rules to. Fallowtail is also a cat who can't read, even though she can see, but you can't read it to her because she's deaf. And Briarlight can't reach the table.

Honeylight: I can get a hearing aid and a wheelchair for them-

Jayfeather: But what about us! Those visors from Star Trek don't work on cats.

Honeylight: Should I just read the cards out loud-

Jayfeather: And I go o-

Briarlight: Jayfeather, we get the point. We're disabled. Don't rub it in. And Honeylight, a wheelchair would be much appreciated.

Fallowtail: Eh?

Longtail: *sighs* Jayfeather, just pick a card.

Game Fifteen: 😶

Honeylight: Oke- wut the-

Squirrelflight: I wuv, u, ashfuw.

Brambleclaw: *sniffs loudly, then starts bawling*

Cinderpelt: Aww... awen't dey da cutest widdle kiddies...

Honeylight: 0.0

Ashfur: I wuv u 2, widdle baby squilfy

Squirrelflight: yey...

Honeylight: Yellowfang, do you have any idea what is happening?

Yellowfang: nope. they were like this when I came in.

Brambleclaw: *still crying* I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS AND THEN THIS?

Honeylight: i think they've lost their minds

Leafpool: down't yew at squilfy wike dat, bwambwcwaw

Brambleclaw: but- Weefpoow, she deserved it!

Leafpool: :0

Squirrelflight: ;3

Ashfur: no wut, no. Weefpool'sh bedda.

Yellowfang: yep, they've lost their minds.

Honeylight: ... wanna play two player?

Yellowfang: Let's call Moth Flight and Micah!

Honeylight: hoo

Moth Flight: Please state the nature of your medical emergency.

Micah: Hi! And don't worry, this is the fourteenth time I've fixed crazy cats as a ghost!

Honeylight: o

Moth flight: *flings magic healing powder on every cat in the room*

Ashfur: OMG THAT WAS- i don't even wanna say the words.

Squirrelflight: I'm so sorry, Brambleclaw.

Bramblclaw: thatdidn'tjusthappenthatdidn'tjusthappenthetdidn'tjusthappen-

Leafpool: hewp me! im shtuck in da chair.

Micah: I think you missed a spot.

Moth flight: Eh. She's illegal anyway.

Micah: That doesn't- uug. *flings magic healing powder on Leafpool*

Leafpool: Whew! Wait; uug I'm still stuck in the chair.

Briarlight: *wheels herself into the room* What did I miss?

Honeylight: you don't want to know.

Game Sixteen: Absolute Complete and Utter Randomness

Honeylight: Oh, hey, Alderheart!

Alderheart: *jumps to the ceiling* Oh, hi.

Ravenpaw: Does anyone know where Tigerstar the First is?

Honeylight: Are you... Looking for him?

Ravenpaw: Actually, I'm doing the opposite. I want to know where he is so I won't bump into him.

Alderheart: You're lucky. Your fear takes physical form.

Brightheart: Anyone seen Cloudtail? We were going to meet Ivypool and Dovewing for lunch, but I took a wrong turn somewhere.

Honeylight: the cafeteria is that way.

Brightheart: thanks

Cloudtail: Anyone seen Brightheart? We were going to meet Ivypool and Dovewing for lunch, but I took a wrong turn somewhere.

Honeylight: *facepaws*

Mosskit, Snowkit, Larchkit, Hollykit, ect.: AAAAAAAA

Honeylight: Aw, look, it's the kitten club!

Badgerfang: Actually, I'm a warrior.

Honeylight: You had an under-aged field promotion in an out-of-the-way super edition.

Badgerfang: :P

Mosskit: Hi! I'm Mosskit.

Honeylight: Aw, aren't you a cutie!

Mosskit: *growls very loudly*

Snowkit: ???

Mosskit: *acts out a battle*

Snowkit: ooooh.

Sparkpelt: Oh, hey Alderheart!

Alderheart: *jumps through the ceiling* GACK! Oh, it's just you.

Honeylight: *sighs* I'm gonna have to pay for that.

Game Seventeen: The Warrior Cats Play 2.0

Honeylight: Hiya! I'm going to another warriors play!

Flametail: why

Honeylight: Welp, bye i gue- o grate

Flametail: What is it? Did you lose your ticket?

Honeylight: No, I just realised I got a second-series-shadowclan pack of tickets instead of a first-series-windclan pack.

Yellowfang: What's the difference?

Honeylight: The WindClan pack is a ticket for two. The ShadowClan pack is a ticket for ten.

Yellowfang: :0

Honeylight: Hey, why don't you all come with me?

Flametail: no thanx

Yellowfang: sure

Everyone else: Fine if you insist

Honeylight: YEY! *teleports everyone to some random theater*

Some Random Stage Announcer: The cast can't make it today, so it looks like the show is off.

Honeylight: DOUBLE YEY!

Yellowfang: I... think I see where this is going

Honeylight: *teleports everyone on stage* We know the plot! We can do it!

Stage Announcer: Aren't you the cat's from last show... nevermind. fine, start filming.

Squirrelflight: *pounces on Brambleclaw repeatedly*

Brambleclaw: ow

Brambleclaw: *pretends to go to sleep*

Mistystar (playing Bluestar): Go play at the beach.

Brambleclaw: OK!

Tawnypelt: Some dead cat told me to play at the beach

Brambleclaw: Same here!

Crowfeather: no

Feathertail: les go

Squirrelflight: mkay

Brambleclaw: hey!

Silverstream: two months later...

Feathertail: oo, yay!

Brambleclaw: looks more like a cliff to- *falls of fake cliff* meeeeeEEEEE

Squirrelflight: GACK

Tawnypelt: *rolls off cliff*

Squirrelflight, Crowfeather: *rolls off cliff*

Badger puppet: go home.

Everyone: *groans loudly*

Feathertail: i must die *swings on stage light, then falls onto Fake Mountain Lion*


Brambleclaw: eh


Tawnypelt: o no my clan is dying

Squirrelflight: fEaThErTaIl Is DeAd

Graystripe: *is traumatized for life*

Silverstream: three months later...

Everyone: Welp I like this lake

Brambleclaw (playing Brambleclaw and Hawkfrost): hi, Hawkfrost. Hi, Brambleclaw

Squirrelflight: no

Brambleclaw (playing Hawkfrost): die, step-half-uncle

Flametail: ???

Ashfur: yeah, die!

Brambleclaw: no, you die, teenage troubleclaws 2.0!

Brambleclaw (playing Hawkfrost): GACK *stage dies*

Flametail: yey

Squirrelflight: YEY

Brambleclaw: remind me to skip the next play

Honeylight: Do you seriously think I'm going to do that


Game Eighteen: Reflecting On Our Pasts

Honeylight: *plays a Firestar of leaders* welp, looks like I'm winning!

Portal: *opens on the ceiling*

Honeykit, Yellowkit and Squirrelkit: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Yellowfang: wut the- o grate

Honeykit: *holds up label maker* Ima label you all!

Yellowkit: ono thats gonna b uncomfortable.

Squirrelkit: yey! a new place to break all the rules in

Brambleclaw: I'm having third thoughts about our marriage

Squirrelflight: i asked for that.

Honeylight: Everyone, please, calm down. Past-kits, please jump back through the portal on the ceiling.

Honeykit: I don't like you. *prints out a label that says "squealing ball of you-know-what"*

Honeylight: That... is actually totally something I would have done when I was a kit if label maker had existed then.

Yellowkit: GACK oh i hate the feeling of someone else having a label put on them

Honeykit: how dare you *sticks an "i live in the dirtplace" label on Yellowkit*

Yellowkit: and i cringe

Squirrelkit: yey! thank you for breaking all the rules.

Honeykit: grrrrrrrrrrrr....

Squirrelkit: maybe i shouldn't have said that...

Honeykit: *labels Squirrelkit "annoying"*

Squirrelflight: I asked for that too.

Mintkit and Marigoldkit: mewmewmewemewmewmewmew

Honeykit: *sticks "some dog's squeaky toys" on Mintkit and Marigoldkit*

Yellowfang: this is getting out of hand

Honeykit: *whirls around the room slapping rude labels on everyone in the room*

Robinfeather: ???

Honeylight: authors lounge three is thataway

Robinfeather: o ok thx

Honeylight: *inhales angrily*

Robinfeather: Also, do I have to keep the label?

Honeylight: no-


Robinfeather: 0.0

Honeylight: Yeah, we're experiencing some technical difficulties over here.

Fangtuft: I can see that

Yellowkit: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug this is uncomfortable

Honeykit: deal with it.

Ashnut: Hi!

Honeylight: Ashnut, please go away. Every time someone from my timeline shows up, something goes horribly wrong.

Ashnut: It looks like something has already gone horribly wrong.

Yellowkit: he has a point you know- owwwwwwwwww stop scratching at your tag Robinfeather it huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurts me

Honeykit: deal with it.

Robinfeather: ???

Ashnut: I'm not leaving.

Yellowfang: Oh, stop being such a silly brat, Ashnut, and SCRAM BEFORE I RELEASE MY ANGER

Squirrelkit: I soak up anger! Please release your anger on me!

Yellowfang: no

Brambleclaw: I'm still having third thoughts about our marriage...

Squirrelflight: *inhales angrily*

Ashnut: *picks up all of the kits in the room and throws them through the portal on the ceiling*

Ashnut: Now aren't you glad I stayed?

Everyone: 0.o

Robinfeather: ... Can I take off my tag now?

Game Nineteen: Social Distancing

Honeylight: Okee les play-


Random machine arms that came out of the walls: *pushes all the cats 6 feet apart*

Robinfeather: Um... I don't think there's enough room.

Fangtuft: we aren't even supposed to be here

Robinfeather: ... o right


Machine arms: *throw Yellowfang at the wall*

Yellowfang: and i cringe

Steelheart: wut is this disaster. you are slightly inconveniencing me.

Honeylight: Wrong fandom, Steelheart. Oh, and have you seen Megan lately? I wanted to ask her a question.

Steelheart: Grrrrrrrr............

Machine arms: *throw Steelheart out of the room*

Robinfeather: wut was that giant Twoleg doing

Honeylight: Oh, you don't read Brandon Sanderson books. Yeah. Um, you don't want to know.

Fangtuft: *walks to Robinfeather*

Machine arms: *throw Fangtuft at the wall*

Fangtuft: *groans loudly*

Yellowfang: welcome to the club.

Fangtuft: *groans loudly*


Fangtuft: *groans loudly*

Game Twenty: Leader Lessons (by Honeylight)

Mistystar: What am I doing here

Bramblestar: idk

Leafstar: Um, I was just on patrol, and then I was here? Did I,like, get knocked out by a badger or somethin'?

Harestar: I have no words.

Tigerstar: :P

Honeylight: Hi!

Leafstar: Who are you?

Honeylight: I am Honeylight, future savior of the Clans.

Robinfeather: I helped too!

Honeylight: shoo

Robinfeather: *sniff*

Honeylight: Aight, I invited you all here to tell you that you've been doing it wrong.

Mistystar: ...

Harestar: I once again have no words.

Leafstar: What do you mean?

Bramblestar: Yeah, what have we been doing wrong?

Honeylight: You all need to loosen up! You're too hard on you're Clanmates.

Bramblestar: im confused

Honeylight: See? Perfect! Lack of punctuation and capitals is a great start.

Shrewpaw: Hey, Honeylight? Do you know where Squirrelflight is?

Honeylight: o right that hasn't happened yet... She isn't here today.

Shrewpaw: Grrrrrr....... I know you're lying to me...

Honeylight: Actually, yes, I am lying to you. Everything I say is a lie.

Shrewpaw: Grrrrr... *jumps at Honeylight*

Honeylight: GACK *dodges*

Shrewpaw: *lands on Bramblestar and literally smacks the living cat out of him*

Shrewstar: *inhales* So what were we sayig again?

Honeylight: ono i just accidentally sped up the progress of the books ononononononono Lost Stars hasn't even started yet onononononono

Leafstar: What are you talking about?

Honeylight: no wut guys just go im having an internal crisis just shoooooooooooooooo *bawls on the floor*

Harestar: -_- ... I have no words.

Game Twenty One: Digital Breakdowns

Bristlefrost: Hello? Can anyone hear me?

Jayfeather: Yeah, i hear you

Ivypool: Yep

Fernsong: Has anyone seen my blue butterfly? I haven't seen it for an hour.

Mintkit: I was playing with it earlier. It was so pretty, and I wanted to give it to Marigoldkit, so I caught it.


Ivypool: why did i marry you

Bristlefrost: Hey!

Honeylight: *loud crying*

Bristlefrost: Honeylight, I think you forgot to mute yourself.

Honeylight: *still crying* I don't care. I ruined your life and now I must pay with my pride.

Bristlefrost: You... Ruined my life? But I like my life!

Rootspring: I think she means the ghost that's been haunting me since that meeting she had with the leaders.

Shadowpaw: DiD sOmEbOdY sAy GhOsT?

Leafstar: So, I thi- Oops, wrong server. Does anyone know how to get onto the gathering server?

Spiderleg: Has anyone seen Shrewpaw?

Rootspring: Leafstar! Um, no, I have no idea. Also, Spiderleg, please go away?

Shadowpaw: Have you tried going to server 118 and giving the code gatherguys05?

Leafstar: Nooooooooooooo................... How did you know that?

Shadowpaw: i KnOw ThInGs OtHeRs DoN't

Bristlefrost: 0.0

Honeylight: *still sniffling* Ok ima *sniff* go now ok *sniff* bye *sniff*

--User:Honeylight11/futurecatsareawesome/#Ashnutfanclub has left Warriors Blisscord server 23(The Warriors Card Game(Spoof))--

Bristlefrost: What was that about?

Shadowpaw: She caused a book to come early and changed the timeline of our entire universe!

Everyone else: 0.o o.0 o.o -.- _._

Shadowpaw: LiKe I sAiD, i KnOw ThInGs OtHeRs DoN't!

--User:Shadowsight3000/theshadowsknowall/#mindreadingrules has left Warriors Blisscord server 23(The Warriors Card Game(Spoof))--

Everyone else: ?????????

Game Twenty Two: ... Issues

Foxfoot: Hey, Treeheart, have you seen Goldenleaf lately?

Treeheart: That depends. Why do you ask?

Foxfoot: I can't tell you that.

Treeheart: Then I can't tell you either.

--User:Thunderfrost13/whoops/#forbiddenlove has joined Warriors Blisscord Server 24(RANDOM CHAT PAGE)--

Bristlefrost: Anyone seen Rootspring?

Treeheart: Why is your user hashtag "#forbiddenlove"?

--User:Thunderfrost13/whoops/#forbiddenlove has left Warriors Blisscord Server 24(RANDOM CHAT PAGE)--

Treeheart: ... So why do you want to know where Goldenleaf is?

--User:LeavesOfGold/uguysarederps/#somethin'orother has joined Warriors Blisscord Server 24(RANDOM CHAT PAGE)--

Foxfoot: Hi! *sends private chat request to User:LeavesOfGold*

Goldenleaf: ... *declines private chat request*

Foxfoot: :0

Goldenleaf: *sends private chat request to User:MyHeartIsATree*

Treeheart: hehehe :) *accepts private chat request*

Goldenleaf(privately to Treeheart): Hi

Treeheart(privately to Goldenleaf): I have something to ask you...

Goldenleaf(privately to Treeheart): What?

--private chat has expired///to prolong the private chat time please update--

Treeheart: Will you cat-marry me?

Goldenleaf: YES

Foxfoot: double :0

Treeheart: Uh-Oh.

--User:Ashushyou/lightlycoloredhoneyisbestgrl/#Ashnutfanclub has joined Warriors Blisscord Server 24(RANDOM CHAT PAGE)--

--User:Honeylight11/futurecatsareawesome/#Ashnutfanclub has joined Warriors Blisscord Server 24(RANDOM CHAT PAGE)--

Ashnut: *reads caption history* Congrats, bro!

Foxfoot: tripple :0

Honeylight: Foxfoot, y u sad?

Foxfoot: promise not to tell?

Honeylight: M-Hm.

Foxfoot: *sends private chat request to User:Honeylight11*

Honeylight: *accepts private chat request*

Foxfoot(privately to Honeylight): me and goldenleaf have been dating for, like, a year now, and i asked treeheart where she was, and he wouldn't say, and then she declined my chat request, and sent one to treeheart, and it expired right before he proposed and she said yes, even though we've been dating for a year and i haven't seen a single conversation between them ever. *inhales* that's why i'm sad.

--private chat has expired///to prolong the private chat time please update--

Honeylight: :0

Ashnut: hehehe i heard that conversation with my hacker powers

Foxfoot: *cries in corner*

Ashnut: *sends private chat request to User:MyHeartIsATree*

Honeylight: :0

Treeheart: *accepts private chat request*


Treeheart: 0.0

--private chat has expired///to prolong the private chat time please update--

Treeheart: 0.0

Ashnut: *sends recording to User:Honeylight11 and User:LeavesOfGold and User:FoxInSox*

Treeheart: 0.0

Goldenleaf: I'm so sorry, Foxfoot. But we weren't dating.

Honeylight: well this has escalated

Foxfoot: >:(

--User:FoxInSox/blip/#goldierules has changed hashtag to #goldiesucks--

Honeylight: well this has escalated some more

Game Twenty Three: Some Random Blisscord Stuff

--User:MyNoseIsNotABerry/poppyfern/#berriesforthesnake has joined Warriors Blisscord server 24(RANDOM CHAT PAGE)--

--User:HeartOfACowardlyLion/blip/#scaredycat has joined Warriors Blisscord server 24(RANDOM CHAT PAGE)--

Berrynose: Oh, hi, Alderheart!

Alderheart: What? No, I'm Lionheart!

Berrynose: alderheart, if you want people to think you're lionheart, you need to actually try.

--User:HeartOfACowardlyLion/blip/#scaredycat has changed hashtag to #myusernameisalie--

Berrynose: *facepalms*

Raystar: Hey! Cats can't facepalm!

Berrynose: *facepa-wait hoo r u

Ashnut: Wrong server, Raystar.

Raystar: hrmf.

--User:GiantRaygun/imdabest/#authorpowersrule has left Warriors Blisscord server 24(RANDOM CHAT PAGE)--

--User:Thunderfrost13/whoops/#forbiddenlove has joined Warriors Blisscord server 24(RANDOM CHAT PAGE)--

--User:SpringHasSprung/frostynight/#forbiddenlove has joined Warriors Blisscord server 24(RANDOM CHAT PAGE)--

Bristlefrost: Rootspring!

Rootspring: Wait you are talking to me as if we actually are somewhat friends my life isn't as miserable any more!

Berrynose: Um... Is anyone else uncomfortable?

Honeylight: You're uncomfortable? They're my greeeeeeeat grandparents.

Bristlefrost: Wait, WHAT?

Berrynose: When did you get here?

Bristlefrost: Nevermind that, HOW AM I YOUR GRANDMOTHER?

--User:Honeylight11/futurecatsareawesome/#ashnutfanclub has left Warriors Blisscord server 24(RANDOM CHAT PAGE)--

Bristlefrost: Um...

Rootspring: Nevermind that.

Honeylight: Yeah, nevermind that.

Bristlefrost: Wait, we just got the notification that you left!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Squirrelflight: Maybe she was on in two tabs?

Bristlefrost: Oh, that makes sense- WAIT WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?

Squirrelflight: I've been here since the start. You should be worried about Bramblestar. He hasn't been on in a while.

Honeylight: oops gotta go now sorry bai

--User:Honeylight11/futurecatsareawesome/#ashnutfanclub has left Warriors Blisscord server 24(RANDOM CHAT PAGE)--

--Imposterstar/shrewxsquirrel/#bramblesucks has entered Warriors Blisscord server 24(RANDOM CHAT PAGE)--

Shrewstar: Hi!

Bristlefrost: ...

Game Twenty Four: Question Mark

Honeylight: Okee I*sniff*'m sorry for the Blisscord games *sniff* I was i mental breakdown mode over a slight change in the *sniff* warriors time continuum.

Bristlefrost: I still have no idea what that means. Also, you never answered my question from last week.

Briarlight: I don't have a Blisscord account, so I couldn't come. :(

Tigerstar the Second: :P

Leafstar: Do you always have to do that?

Tigerstar the Second: :P

Honeylight: I don't think he's ever actually *sniff* spoken during these games, just acted like the *sniff* pubescent teenager he is.

Jayfeather: Do you have a cold?

Honeylight: No I *sniff* just breathed in some *sniff* dust. *loud sneeze*

Jayfeather: I think you have a cold.

Honeylight: i'M tElLiNg YoU i DoN't HaVe A cOlD.

Announcer guy: Alert, alert. Honeylight has a cold.

Honeylight: gRoAn

Jayfeather: Did you just actually say he word groan? Wow.

Shadowsight: Hi, I got a promotion!

Jayfeather: Oh good, maybe you ca tell this cough-infested highlighter that she has a cold!

Shadowsight: actually, I got my promotion by having several seizures.

Everyone: 0.o


Everyone else but Honeylight: ???

Honeylight: Question mark.

Jayfeather: is this what they do in the future

Honeylight: No but I *cough cough cough cough cough* like doing it.

Announcer guy: Alert, alert. Medical emergency in Authors Lounge 4. Type: mental.

Honeylight: *facepalms*

Raystar: Cats can't facepalm!

Honeylight: go away

Tigerstar the Second: :P

Leafstar: Could you please stop doing that?

Tigerstar the Second: :p

Leafstar: *inhales angrily*

Tree: Do I hear a slightly angry cat? Lemme help with that! *cannonballs through the roof*

Honeylight: *inhales ang-*coughcoughcough*rily*

Tree: Um... What?

Honeylight: What I meant was: *inhales angrily* I'm gonna have to pay for that. Crying emoji.

Tree: Did you just say "crying emoji"...

Jayfeather: Don't ask.

Game Twenty Five: Gatherings and Age Discrimination

--User:Honeylight11/futurecatsareawesome/#ashnutfanclub has joined Warriors Blisscord server 118(Gathering Server)--

Honeylight: Whoops! Looks like I'm early.

--User Group:SkyClan has joined Warriors Blisscord server 118(Gathering Server)--

Leafstar: So,I thi- Whoops, I'm early.

Honeylight: yep. so am i.

--User Group:ShadowClan has joined Warriors Blisscord server 118(Gathering Server)--

Tigerstar the Second: iS eVeRyOnE hErE yEt?

Tawnypelt: read the entrance history, you-

Violetshine: No swearing, please.

Twigbranch: well you're one to talk.

Violetshine: When did you get here?

--User Group:ThunderClan has joined Warriors Blisscord server 118(Gathering Server)--

Finleap: Twigbranch!

Twigbranch: I'll tell you later. Hi, Finleap!

Tigerstar the Second: wHy CaN't RiVeRcLaN aNd WiNdClAn HuRrY uP aLrEaDy?

Tawnypelt: how is that my son

--User Group:RiverClan has joined Warriors Blisscord server 118(Gathering Server)--

Mistystar: Hmm. WindClan isn't here.

--User Group:WindClan has joined Warriors Blisscord server 118(Gathering Server)--

Harestar: cats of all clans. please gather and listen to whatever the admins have to say.

Breezepelt: Objection!

--User:Harehi(admin) has muted User:BreezyBoy/muahahahaha/#ihatemylife--

Harestar: all is well in windclan. allow me to tell you a story about how some random apprentice caught a rabbit the other day. *yawns* so,...

--User:MistAndMistability(admin) has voted to mute User:Harehi(admin)--

--User:Imposterstar(admin) has agreed to Poll:Mute User:Harehi(admin)--

--User:Leafygreen(admin) has agreed to Poll:Mute User:Harehi(admin)--

--User:IAmNotMyStupidDad(admin) has disagreed to Poll:Mute User:Harehi(admin)--

Leafstar: AAARG

Honeylight: *sigh* there's a reason it's in StarClan's guide to Gatherings to, and I quote, "never let Harestar go first, or everyone will die of boredom".

Ashnut: The exact quote is actually "If you let Harestar talk first, you will have to listen to hours of a monotone voice explaining how some random apprentice caught a rabbit the other day,"

Honeylight: grrr.

Harestar: and thus ends my story. it's leafstar's turn now.

Leafstar: Thank you for that... wonderful explanation, Harestar. The prey is running well in SkyClan. We chased off a fox last week, and it ran into ShadowClan territory. Sorry about that.

Tigerstar 2.0: *dancing wildly to music on headphones* WHAAAAT? YOU DID WHAT WITH THE WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

--User:MistAndMistability(admin) has voted to mute User:IAmNotMyStupidDad(admin)--

--User:Leafygreen(admin) has agreed to Poll:Mute User:IAmNotMyStupidDad(admin)--

--User:Harehi(admin) has agreed to Poll:Mute User:IAmNotMyStupidDad(admin)--

--User:Imposterstar(admin) has agreed to Poll:Mute User:IAmNotMyStupidDad(admin)--

--User:IAmNotMyStupidDad(admin) has been muted--

Tigerstar2: >=( :P

Leafstar: Whew!

Shrewstar: ThunderClan is fine. We have about 75 new warriors whos names I can't recall.

Mistystar: The fish are swimming well in RiverClan. We had to chase a fox out of our territory, and it went into ShadowClan territory.

Tigerstar2: ?????????????????????????????????

Cloverfoot: All is well in ShadowClan, but I think our leader needs mental help.

Leafstar: Yes, we see that.

Shadowsight: Go throw him in the snow!

Shrewstar: But I can't be in two bodies at once.

Shadowsight: Oh right.

Rootspring: wAiT wHaT?

Cloverfoot: I think we should go now.

--User Group:ShadowClan has left Warriors Blisscord server 118(Gathering Server)--

Mistystar: Finally!

Leafstar: I'm outta here.

--User Group:SkyClan has left Warriors Blisscord server 118(Gathering Server)--

--User Group:WindClan has left Warriors Blisscord server 118(Gathering Server)--

--User Group:ThunderClan has left Warriors Blisscord server 118(Gathering Server)--

Mistystar: Guys... Uug. Well, I guess this is just what happens when you're the second oldest cat in the Clans. Nobody wants to come near me.

Reedwhisker: I enjoy being near you!

Mistystar: you're my son.

Beechspirit: I wanna be near you!

Mistystar: And you are...?

Beechspirit: My name is Beechspirit, and I'm everyone's best friend!

Mistystar: Ok then...?

Honeylight: Welp, Ima leave now.

Mistystar: This is exactly my point!

--User Group:FutureClanCats has left Warriors Blisscord server 118(Gathering Server)--

Mistystar: seriously guys

--User Group:RiverClan has left Warriors Blisscord server 118(Gathering Server)--

--This Blisscord server is empty///join to restart--

Game Twenty Six: The Warriors Play 3.0

Honeylight: Welp, I think we should get back to actually doing a card game. We've kinda gotten off track.



Ashnut: what were you literally just saying

Honeylight: Nothing apparently! *teleports everyone to theater* We're here!

Flametail: *chomps popcorn* This is the series with the ice hockey, right?

Jayfeather: o great

Announcer: Let it begin!

Person in a gray cat costume: hello. im jaykit, and i hate warm hugs.

Person in a lion costume: Hello, I'm Simba!

Announcer: Wrong script. From the beggining!

Person in a lion costume: Aarg! I quit!

Crowd: boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Honeylight: hehehehehe...

Yellowfang: I think I see where this is going...

Honeylight: *teleports everyone onstage* We know the story! We can do it!

Announcer: Aren't you the... nevermind. Just do it. Start filming!

Jayfeather: hello. I'm jaykit, and i hate warm hugs.

Lionblaze: blep

Hollyleaf: Hello, I'm Hollypaw, and I love following rules. Don't break any, because I can sense it.

Leafpool: Aww... Look at my adorable little ki- sister's kids!

Flametail: We've decided that Jaypaw is too grumpy to be permitted around normal cats, so we're banishing him off to the medicine den!

Hollyleaf: *sniff*

Jayfeather: yay.

Stormfur: Hi! We've been here a while

Firestar: yeah, it's time for you to go.

Stormfur: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..-

Jayfeather: COULD YA NOT

Brook: ok les just go...

Jayfeather: can i come too

Silverstream: 4 disconected filler stories later...

Jayfeather: We have superpowers!

Lionblaze and Hollyleaf: :0

Jayfeather: Also I walked in Firestar's dreams and he got a prophecy about us saving the universe or something

Lionblaze and Hollyleaf: wOw!

Silverstream: a forgotten amount of time later...

Ashfur: I hat your mom because she dumped me three years ago so ima kill you. ok?

Squirrelflight: no

Yellowfang: Yeah Leafpools ya mom and Crowfetha's ya dad.

Jayfeather: :0


Lionblaze: welp, guess she's gone now

Game Twenty Seven: Sparkle Kitty

Flametail: I'm still really mad about us not playing the ice hockey scene last week.

Honeylight: Sorry, sorry...

Ashnut: Sooooo.............. Should we play a game now?

Honeylight: Sure!

Sparkpelt: Les play SPARKLE KITTY!!!!!!!!!! :D :D

Honeylight: ... did you just make that up

Sparkpelt: Actually, it's a real game! You put down the cards and you have to say the words they say.

Jayfeather: ahem

Longtail: we can't read.

Sparkpelt: OK! Just watch... oh oops yeah right hehehe sorry

Leafstar: I still can't believe Rootspring convinced me to come...

Rootspring: -_-

Sparkpelt: :D :D :D

Alderheart: ... aRe YoU oK?!?!?!?!?!

Honeylight: She's fine, Alderheart, don't jump through the ceiling *coughs meaningfully* again because she ate some catmint.

Jayfeather: She did WHAT?

Sparkpelt: les play SPARKLE KITTY!

Honeylight: AARG just-

Tree: Do I hear a slightly angry person?

Honeylight: Tree, if you ask me, you take your job far to seriously.

Fawnwillow: As far as I know, he didn't ask you.

Honeylight: Who invited you? And why are you acting like Sophia from Golden Girls?

Fawnwillow: ... hoo

Sparkpelt: can we just get on with it and play SPARKLE KITTY!

Fawnwillow: You don't need to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.

Sparkpelt: :0

Tree: Miss, I think it would be best if you left right now. Don't you have an anger management class in fifteen minutes?

Fawnwillow: When did you become a police officer?

Honeylight: *inhales angrily* I really think you should leave.

Sparkpelt: les play SPA-

Fawnwillow: o shut up.

Honeylight: *shoves Fawnwillow out the door and slams it* Perfect. Now we can all have a quiet game of-


Honeylight: *sighs* can we just call it a day

Game Twenty Eight: Childish Arguments

Honeylight: Ok, it looks like nobody’s here but us.

Sparkpelt: pout.

Jayfeather: Great, it’s rubbing off on Sparklepelt too! yay………

Sparkpelt: Actually, that was in response to your inability to see my facial expressions. I figured saying them would be helpful to you and Longtail!

Honeylight: You take no notice of the fact that he just called you Sparklepelt and continue to help him. I do not compute.

Sparkpelt: Wait, he called me WHAT?

Jayfeather: I called you Sparklepelt, dummy. Have you gone deaf?

Sparkpelt: *insert sassy gasp* EX-CUSE ME, I thought medicine cats were supposed to have some sort of bedside manner.

Jayfeather: grrr…

Honeylight: Calm down, calm down. Just because nobody’s here doesn’t mean you two can squabble like Russetleap and Silverfleck.

Sparkpelt: hrmph.

Jayfeather: hrmph.

Honeylight: sToP aCtInG lIkE kItS oR i’Ll CaLl MoTh FlIgHt AnD mIcAh

Jayfeather: Oh, those old fools. They’re worse than Yellowfang.

Yellowfang (over walkie-talkie): I HEARD THAT

Jayfeather: I was counting on that.

Honeylight: Alright, that’s it, I’m calling Moth Flight and Micah.

Moth Flight: What is the nature of your medical emergency?

Micah: Hi! And don’t worry, this is the fourteenth time I’ve been a lawyer for an arguing couple!

Honeylight: … they’re not married.

Micah: o right yeah hehe

Moth Flight: *sighs* I guess I can fix this *tosses magical healing powder at Micah*

Honeylight: He’s … not the problem.

Moth Flight: Then who is?

Honeylight: *looks around* hey, where’d they go?

Jayfeather: hehehe *looks at Sparkpelt* its ok, sparklepelt. I stole an invisibility cloak from the harry potter fandom and brought it here.

Sparkpelt: does it also have sound mufflers?

Jayfeather: … no

Honeylight: I think I heard them. They’re in that corner…

Mothflight: I’ll get’em.

Micah: *grabs the invisibility cloak* Hey, I could use this!

Moth Flight: dont you dare *tosses magical healing powder at Jayfeather and Sparkpelt*

Jayfeather: *facepalms* *facepalms* *facepal-

Raystar: could ya not?

Jayfeather: -ms*

Sparkpelt: I wasn’t sick. There was nothing wrong with me. Now I have to lick this disgusting powder off of me, and that’ll take weeks.

Jayfeather: Yeah, that was me just trying to be annoying. I did steal that cloak, though.

Honeylight: *sighs* Why did this remind me of a family meeting?

Game Twenty Nine: Jayfeather's Awkwardness

Honeylight: Hey guys, look what I bought!

Jayfeather: ahem

Honeylight: o right. I got a deck in Braille!

Jayfeather: yeah, that’s great, but-

Longtail: Ooh! Cool! Does it come with the rules?

Honeylight: yes!

Jayfeather: That’s great and all, but-

Briarlight: This is great! Now Longtail and Jayfeather can actually participate instead of sulking in the corner all the time!

Jayfeather: i dont sulk, and that deck might not work.

Honeylight: Why not?

Jayfeather: Well, -

Longtail: I don’t see any problems with the deck! Then again, I don’t see anything, but you know what I mean.

Mousefur: Could ya please just shut your muzzle and let the poor kid talk?

Longtail: well you’re one to talk


Honeylight: 0.0 wait wut

Jayfeather: I. Can’t. Read. Braille. It’s just not something I learned.

Briarlight: I’m sure you could still learn, Jaybae- oops I must have been reading too many warriors memes today hehehe… *long sigh*

Jayfeather: … ok then…

Briarlight: Oh! I just remembered… I have to go see Millie! *wheels herself out the door*

Jayfeather: How convenient…

Honeylight: Do you have any idea how many people ship you two?

Jayfeather: … no

Honeylight: There are entire small books about you two being parents. I myself am the worlds biggest JayxBriar shipper!

Jayfeather: could you please not this is making me uncomfortable

Milie: aRe YoU dIsCuSsInG mY dAuGhTeR wItHoUt Me?

Honeylight: … could ya not

Game Thirty: Karaoke

Honeylight: Aight, guys, I have something special planned for today! We’re holding a special karaoke session with all the music me and some random kittypet wrote together!

Everyone: …

Honeylight: And I brought Lionfur, just so she could stop yelling at me for ignoring her and not including her in my spoof.

Bristlefrost: Again, WHAT IS A SPOOF?!?!?!?!?!

Lionfur: nice intro.

Honeylight: … what?

Lionfur: Ya know, the whole thing about you forming a band with some random kittypet.

Robin: Seriously. You know I’m not a kittypet.

Lionfur: … are you the guitarist or somethin

Robin: no, i’m leaving now. gbye.

Honeylight: … OK! Les just go on with the karaoke. Does anyone actually know any of the songs?

Feathertail: Um, yes! I know them all by heart! except fires. I havent seen that one yet.

Honeylight! Ok. that’s a start. Here’s the lyrics to all the songs, do any one you want!

Yellowfang: did you do one for me

Honeylight: its still in progress.

Feathertail: can I please do where i belong? It’s my FAVORITE.

Lionfur: can we just get on with it

Honeylight: les DO THIS! I might even film it and make it a karaoke music video

Whitestorm: please don’t.

Hollyleaf: Can I do Sorry?

Honeylight: Go for it! We’ve been discussing nothing at all for ten minutes. Just start.

Hollyleaf *singing very off-key*: iT’s HoTtEr ThAn- hey this song has an extremely minor swear halfway through.

Honeylight: what is it? I made sure they all didn’t

Hollyleaf: *deep breath* im so sorry starclan *deep breath* t h e

Honeylight:( /)) thats one of the most common words ever, Overreacterleaf.

Jayfeather: Hey, that’s my line!

Briarlight: No, that was way too polite for it to be your line. ROASTED

Jayfeather: …

Iceheart: leave me alone.

To the past and the wrongs ive done

All the revenge.

That ive had to do just to get through

To to.

Yet you never saw the pain

Yet you never saw the flames

Its time i showed you.

The truth

Honeylight: :o that was great- wait grandpa who invited you

Meadowstar: that’s your GRANDFATHER? We- Bu- N- ICEHEART YOU LIED TO ME

Iceheart: … All I did was sing a song that was still in progress because I snuck into the studio when Honeylight was sleeping-

Honeylight: you did WHAT?




Honeylight: grandpa stop

Iceheart: no.

Jayfeather: Look, nobody wants you here. Not even Duskflower. Heck, not even your own GRANDDAUGHTER wants you around. So I recommend you just beat it and leave. Buh-bye, sucka.

Briarlight: WoW, you’re so BRAVE to tell of such an evil cat, Jayba- i sed nothing

Jayfeather: … ok then…

Iceheart: Seeing as nobody LIKES me I guess I’ll just LEAVE

Jayfeather: yeah. Go home.

Fawnwillow: Do you… Want to come to my anger management class?

Iceheart: Sure! I’ve always wanted to be a teacher!

Fawnwillow: i ment as a student

Iceheart: hrmph. *walks out of the room*

Honeylight: Soooo….. Anyone want to continue our karaoke session?

Robin: You fell asleep on the job last week?

Honeyligt: MOVING ON

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