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Note from writers: Please note that we do not obey the laws of time or space. (or the laws of gravity. Weee! (jumps in the air and floats) )
Also, please leave comments on the talkpage, and rate this comedy!
Rowanclaw (as the auctioneer): Ok, cats, stops ripping each others pelts off! The action's about to begin.
(everyody sits down)
Rowanclaw: The first item on the list is: Scourge's left claw!
Scourge: I knew I was missing one!
Rowanclaw: ...Okay, how much do I have for this fine item?
Darkstripe: I'll give you 5 chipmonks for it!
Squirrlelfight: I'll give you 5 RABBITS for it!
Rowanclaw: SOLD! To the pretty lady!
(Brambleclaw and Ashfur give him a dirty look)
Rowanclaw: (realy fast) Okaymovingon!
Rowanclaw: Now, the next item is: Brambleclaw's pelt!
Brambleclaw: HEY! Give that back!
Squirrelflight: Yea, we don't want to have to stare at THAT every day!
Rowanclaw: (to Brambleclaw) How much are you willing to pay?
Brambleclaw: I'll give you 72 chipmonks for it!
Rowanclaw: Anybody want to top that?
Various cats: No. Uh-uh. Not in a million lifetimes would we want that!
Rowanclaw: SOLD!
Rowanclaw: The next item is: the misssing piece of Tigerstar's ear!
Tigerstar: Why you little...
(Brightheart walks up)
Brightheart: Due to technical difficulties, we now have a new auctioneer: Purdy!
Everyone: Oh no! Not Purdy!
Purdy: Hello, ladies and gents!
(everyone gags)
Purdy: (ignoring this): Our next item is: a hunk of Spottedleaf's fur, found in the Thunderclan camp area!
(Sandstorm glares suspiciously at Firestar, who looks at the ceiling)
Purdy: How much do we have for it?!?
Feathertail: I'll bid a thrush for it!
(Crowfeather jumps up)
Crowfeather: I'll give you 3 blackbirds!
Purdy: Soooollllddd!
Tigerstar: He didn't give ME a chance to bid!
Purdy: To bad, so sad. Next item is: one of Mosswisker's wiskers!
Mosswisker: The next item on the list is: Purdy's Pelt!
Purdy: (quickly) Last item on the list is: Stealthfire's limited edition, gold plated collectable golf club, with a set of tees to go with it!
Stealthfire: (mauls)
While Mosswisker auctions Purdie's pelt, and Stealthfire mauls him, lets sing the "End of the show" song!
Everybody:
This is the end of the show
Incase you didn't know;
Which you really should have
Known by now!
This is the end of the show,
Now lets all do the disco!
(all apprentices): Yay!