Hi, This is Peroncat.
I made a remake of this fic. To access it, click on the link below.
Thank you!
Struggling in the Grass(Remake)
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Author's Note[]
Hello everyone! Thank you for taking your time to read my fanfic. It means the world to me :) Anyways, I realized that I don't really have any allegiances... and I'm too lazy to make one. So could you make some cats for me? You can post it in the comments section. Thanks! The form is:
Name
Gender
Age
Clan
Rank
Others(like crush, mate, kits or just... others)
Personality
And the 1st anniversary of this book is coming soon... so stay tuned for the next event! Thank you, everyone!
Fans![]
,M E
𝓦𝙴 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝚁𝚄𝙻𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚂 𝚃𝙾𝙶𝙴𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁 !
Flameheart here! I'm only human and I bleed when I fall d o w n...
Eh, I have no idea how to do this I like the story tho .-. LittleLilyBird
O yea Help stop bulliyng! Contact us Contribs
HECK YEAH THIS IS MY FAVORITE FANFICTION! It won't let me sign tho ;-; sooooo here's my made-up siggy! - Briarwing.Says.REEEEE
This story is awesome! It has a unique plotline, and I love it! Please keep writing it. <3 Take me H O M E where I B E L O N G, i've got no other place to go...
Prologue[]
A thorn was stuck on the little kit's paw, but she did not cared. Anger had taken over her. Thorn stuck on her heart was much more hurting.
"Here, little one. Come on, I'll treat you," cream old she-cat meowed softly.
"How and why do have to I believe you?" Little kit asked, feeling suspicious.
Old she-cat smiled. "Bravekit, I won't do any harm to you, little one. Why should I harm you, when I am a medicine cat, and you're just a little kit who needs help?"
Tears came to Bravekit's eyes. She was the runt of the nursery, even though Calmrain, one of the oldest queens, had taken care of her, she missed her parents.
They had died when Bravekit and Wavekit were born.
"Fallingflower, why am I the runt of the nursery? Why no one likes me? Why didn't Grassstar made me an apprentice? Wavekit became Wavepaw, but not me! Why?" Bravekit choked out.
(A/N: Ooh! Grassstar has triple Ss in his name!)
"Little one, young ones don't know that you're valuable. That is a thing that only old ones know," Fallingflower smiled, and placed soothing herb on her wound.
"Is it true?" Bravekit stared at Fallingflower with pleading eyes.
Fallingflower laughed. "Of course, Bravekit. Now, get some sleep."
Chapter One[]
Cats were chattering with loud, surprised voices. I (Bravekit) saw a familiar white tabby tom and Fallingflower.
"Grassstar, I wish to mentor Bravekit," The white tabby meowed firmly.
"Right, this is just unfair. Bravekit had enough discrimination," Fallingflower and Calmrain spoke out.
I had no idea whether Hailfrost, the white tabby--and also our deputy liked me. I remembered what Fallingflower had said when I was a kit. Now, I am 11 moons old, and that old geezer Grassstar is not even caring about me, but I do not care. I did not wanted other cats to care.
(A/N: Hailfrost is the nickname of my former mentor, she is very nice)
Leaf brushed my pelt as I returned to my own den that I built with the help of Calmrain and Fallingflower.
I wonder why others hate me. Am I a bad cat?
But why would I care?
I fell into deep, deep sleep. In my dream, I saw flashes of my mother. She was smiling brightly.
Before I could murmur something out, I transported into another dream, this time with golden and black she-cat staring down at me.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"Prospectheart." The cat answered.
"I know you! You were dead doing a noble thing... I just can't recall what you did."
Prospectheart smiled. " I used to be discriminated when I was young. What you need to do is show your true heart. Trust me, Bravekit."
"But Grassstar and this Clan is so stubborn!" I cried out.
"That is something I cannot handle. I'm sorry." Prospectheart made sympathetic face.
Chapter Two[]
Calmrain prodded me up. She was next to Hailfrost, her face wearing a big grin.
"So, am I Bravepaw now?"
"of course! Your training starts in this very moment!" Hailfrost smiled.
I stood up, groomed my pelt once, and stared directly at Hailfrost's eyes.
"Time to go." I said tersely.
We padded out of the camp, feeling glares from all the cats in the camp. Fallingflower sent me a wink, and I smiled for first time since one moon ago.
"Well, let's start with basic. First, you'll learn how to hunt," Hailfrost explained. "This, is called a Hunting Crouch. You crouch, and get ready to pounce."
I found a bird. I got ready to pounce, and when the wind stopped, I pounced.
"Nice catch, Bravepaw! That's called thrush," Hailfrost praised me.
"Hailfrost, what was your purpose of being my mentor?" I asked, filled with curiosity.
"Well," Hailfrost meowed softer. "Your parents selected me as your godfather, and also... I am the deputy. I am supposed to look after young but betrayed ones... Like you."
Tears welled up in my eyes. I blinked my eyes, and eventually tears went away.
Chapter Three[]
I knew I have a few whose I can share my giant thrush and my mouse. I went to Fallingflower's den to give her the mouse.
"Well thank you, Bravepaw," Fallingflower mewed.
Hailfrost entered the den and looked at my thrush.
"Wanna share?" I asked.
"Sure! I'll bring Calmrain."
Soon, Calmrain padded into the den, bringing her little kits with her. Calmrain's mate, Shadowshine, had died a long time ago, and I felt those kits were little like me. I loved them. They loved me back, but they didn't had their father. Like me, but I didn't had any parents. But I had Hailfrost, Calmrain, the kits, and Fallingflower.
Calmrain's kits' names were Shinekit the tom, Couragekit the she-cat, (named after me!) and Rainkit the she-cat. They smiled at me gratefully as I nudged them toward my thrush.
"What are you doing?" A voice thundered.
Hailfrost blocked me defensively. "We are sharing Bravepaw's thrush and mouse, Grassstar." he said firmly. "Do you have any problem with that?"
Grassstar backed away a little. Just a little, but I could see it. "Well--I--"
"If you have any more business in here, tell me, not Hailfrost. I'm in charge of this den." Fallingflower meowed.
"Never mind," then he turned away and padded out of the den.
"Whoa, Fallingflower, Hailfrost, that was AWESOME!" Rainkit said.
Chapter Four[]
It was night. Hailfrost nudged me playfully toward the Apprentices' den, and I shot a glance at him.
"Why?" I asked.
"You're apprentice! You're supposed to sleep in there."
"Okay..." I replied, unsure of what is going to happen next, and I padded toward the den.
I saw other apprentices, including my sister, Wavepaw.
"Ha! Who is it? A refugee with no mother and father," Cloudpaw, the biggest apprentice, teased me. I just went past him, and settled down on the only nest available; the one in the corner. It was cold and dry, but I didn't really cared. Wavepaw did nothing; she just stared at me sadly as I glared at her.
Cloudpaw snarled at me. "Oh yeah refugee, keep glaring at my future mate and I'll rip your eyes off!" He threatened.
"Stop, Cloudpaw! You're not my future mate!" Wavepaw meowed, her face red. Other apprentice, Treepaw, just paid attention and did nothing.
"Oh yes, I am" Cloudpaw hissed. "You're turning like your darned sister! Oh my StarClan, what's gotten into you?" Then he pounced, trying to get me.
I dodged out of the way, not even scared a bit. As I leaped onto Cloudpaw, Wavepaw pounced onto me.
"What are you doing?!" I shrieked.
"Bravepaw, stop! You'll just get in trouble. You know Grassstar hates you!" she turned to Cloudpaw and hissed, "stay out of my sister's way, or you'll get in trouble."
Cloudpaw growled, but said nothing.
I padded out of the den. Wavepaw followed me. But I ignored her completely, as if she is invisible.
Invisible... Invisible?
Maybe...
Chapter Five[]
Invisible. That's the word that I was looking for all along. l was completely stupid! Maybe, my parents weren't dead after all! They turned invisible by some sort of StarClanny-thingy. But I can never get my hopes up. I never did. I am fueled by sadness, rage, and depression. I didn't know that a thing called "Hopes"ever existed, anyway.
I settled down in the grassy meadow, watching as the sun began to set. I checked if Wavepaw was still following me, but she wasn't. When I looked back , someone else was following me. White tabby fur, blazing green eyes... Hailfrost.
"This is my favorite place ever," he said. "You know, When other cats are being mean to you."
I don't say anything.
"Sunset is beautiful, isn't it?" Hailfrost has this indescribable look in his eyes. Hope? Sadness?
"Yeah. True..."I murmur.
"You know what?" Hailfrost says in a somewhat cheerful voice. "I like you!"
I smile. "What's tomorrow's assignment?"
Suddenly I have a strange feeling that Hailfrost is regretting something. But then again, Hailfrost have nothing to regret. He is a total good guy.
"Tomorrow, we will learn how to fight."
Chapter Six[]
I scoop Hailfrost's legs from under him. I smile triumphantly. But than again, I can't waste my time smiling and doing some stupid things. I dodge as Hailfrost lung for me. Then I swat his nose, claws sheathed. For one brief moment, I think I win. Suddenly, Hailfrost pounces, and I am knocked to the side, unconscious. I let out an angry growl, and I wake up in Fallingflower's den.
"Sorry, Bravepaw! I didn't mean to..." Hailfrost stammers. I catch my chance, pouncing onto him and pretending to claw at his throat.
"Ha! I win!" I say.
Hailfrost and Fallingflower smiles.
Then, Grassstar marches into the den.
"You!" Grassstar snarls angrily. "You hurt my son!"
Oh, yeah. Dumb me. I forgot that Grassstar's son was Cloudpaw--wait!
I try not to, but I smirk.
I can see Grassstar's muscles trembling in attempt to not to pounce at me.
Hailfrost and Fallingflower all blocks Grassstar, claws unsheathed. Fallingflower has an uneasy look on her face. Why? Is this her first time fighting?
Fallingflower's expression changed. "You mouse-brain," Fallingflower scolds, "Cloudpaw is your brother."
Grassstar's face turns red, along with Hailfrost's. Grassstar's face is an angry red, yet Hailfrost's is a laughing-sort-of red.
Then we all burst into laughter.
I have never heard laughter so joyful, filled with a thousand sunrises. It is strange, yet familiar.
Then I remember a vague memory of a silver and white she-cat licking my fur, laughing. It's sound is the same, but filled with a thousand sunsets.
Like... the she-cat knew the dark future, and was laughing for the last time before her dark, dark fate met her.
Chapter Seven[]
The night came yet again. I cannot sleep, however. I tried to settle in my dry, itchy nest, but alas, I could not. So I came out to a meadow where Hailfrost and I watched sunset together.
Holy StarClan, Hailfrost-- I saw his eyes when he was laughing this afternoon. There was this-- clump of bitterness that cannot be cured with laughter.
What did he do wrong?
What did I do wrong?
I remember that I was still under protection of thick blanket of bitterness and anger... Regrets washes over me every day, but not today.
Why?
I remember my sister, who is also wrapped up in her own cocoon of emotions that she cannot control. I stored all my emotions inside myself, emotions about Cloudpaw, Grassstar, and their family of bullies.
Then my mind drifts into a bit of past that I could not control-the memory I hate.
I could have done more.
~Flashback~
Flashback[]
"You mouse-brain!" The gray-colored tom screamed. "Standing behind an elder for a protection? You do not deserve such thing! You think you can achieve a perfect happiness? Oh, no you don't!" He sneered and snapped, as if I was the most disgusting thing in the world.
Tears welled up in my eyes, but I try to look brave and stand beside Oceanmist, my old protector.
That is when Oceanmist turned around and hissed at me.
Me, being a helpless kit, could not do anything against two grown toms, sneering at me at that time.
I resented my unknown parents for making Oceanmist my protector. As if. As if they thought Oceanmist was a good cat... Oceanmist and the gray colored tom? The gray tabby tom was Rainmouse, a former follower of Forestfire, the evil cat who tried to kill me and my mom, whoever she was, when I was young. Forestfire died though... And my Clanmates--well, so called Clanmates refused to talk about it.
Plus, they were all Grassstar, former Grassgaze's family... Oceanmist is his great-uncle, and Rainmouse? He was Grassgaze's dad.
Which is why... he was attacking me right now. For upsetting his son.
Oceanmist had hated me since I was born, probably because he had another piece of garbage to look after.
A piece of garbage. A waste. A thing that everyone hates.
I was everything that a cat could ever hate.
Bitter thoughts consumed me until I was drained in them. I clenched my teeth and a single drop of tear fell from my eye.
"Don't you dare... Don't you dare..." I hiss quietly.
Rainmouse smirked. "Don't you what, little piece of garbage, a waste?"
Then I pounced.
Later, I heard that my eyes turned gold and silver, the colors of madness, as Fallingflower calls it. I, overpowered by rage, scratched at Rainmouse's eyes blindly, causing Rainmouse to be blind forever. Grassstar did not know about it, though... he thought Rainmouse got blind because of the thorn bush near the elder's den.
Not now, though.
Grassstar knows that I blinded his father.
One of the reasons why he hates me so much.
When my madness calmed down, Rainmouse was bleeding all over, and Oceanmist was literally glowing with anger as Rainmouse's blood dripped all over the ground.
Oceanmist lunged at me, along with Rainmouse, who was wounded badly, but still a skilled warrior.
I tried to run, but sharp claws raked my back, and I felt a terrible pain racing through my body.
I saw two toms, closing on me, but dumbly, they let the exit undefended.
I caught my chance, then went for the exit as quickly as my wounded body can allow, but Oceanmist, fast for an elder three times my age, bit the tip of my tail.
That is when the tip of my tail was lost.
I ran, ran, ran with my whole body aching with pain, blood soaking into the ground.
Former medicine cat Thrushwing, the second nicest medicine cat I have ever seen, gasped at the horrible cuts and bites on my body. Fallingflower nearly lost her consciousness.
I blacked out, and the last thing I saw was Thrushwing lunging at two toms, Rainmouse and Oceanmist, who have followed me.
Two days later, when I woke up, I saw Fallingflower, grieving over Thrushwing's lifeless body. Later, Fallingflower told me that Thrushwing was killed by Grassgaze, who was very angry about the fact that Thrushwing had defended the cat whom Grassgaze hated.
Fallingflower did not tell who Grassgaze hated, but I knew that it was me.
I kept recalling the words that Rainmouse had said.
A piece of garbage. A waste. You do not deserve happiness, not ever.
It stung, like a horde of bees. The scar was left permanently in my heart, disturbing me whenever I was close to a perfect happiness. That was when I decided to live without happiness or friendship.
Maybe it was true. I did not deserve happiness, not ever. As much as I would hate to admit it, maybe Rainmouse was right. He was speaking the truth--utter, bitter truth.
I ran outside, despite Fallingflower, who shrieked, "No, Bravekit! Your wounds! They are not permanently healed!"
They will not be permanently healed. Fallingflower was wrong. So wrong.
I jumped into a deep stream between RiverClan and ThunderClan, knowing I would die if I drown.
I could not breathe, but I felt an eerie sensation of peace. If I die... well, then I would see my parents, at least.
When I nearly drowned completely, a small, lithe body lifted me up and pulled me to the shore.
I could not see well, since my visions were blurred, but the voice was familiar, and those eyes--they were clear, beautiful, and bright blue, the familiar eye colors of my mother. And those--were those tears on that cat's eyes?
"Fallingflower! Fallingflower!" The cat said sobbing. "Come quick! Bravekit! She is hurt! Fallingflower!"
I never knew who saved me. Soon Fallingflower came, then I blacked out again.
Chapter Eight[]
I barely escape from my flashback. When I have flashback like those, my mind slips into a place far, far away into a murky green forest even StarClan or Dark Forest cannot control. I call it the Place of No Hope.
When I am away emotionally, my body thinks I am dead and it stops breathing.Once Fallingflower thought I was dead and nearly set a vigil for me when I came back, to Grassstar's dismay.
"There you are," A voice interrupted. I get ready to fight, claws unsheathed, then I pounce.
I attack with such malice, the owner of the voice is knocked to the side, his side bleeding just a little.
'Seriously?' I think. Then I turn, looking at the cat I knocked out. Its body is small, lithe, and it reminds me of someone that I do not remember... I can reach the memory, but it is lost in the dark, and I cannot quite remember it.
The cat wakes up, and its eyes are clear, bright, beautiful blue full of sadness and anger.
"You don't want to be here alone! You know that better than anyone! Grassstar favors me, so I am okay, but you? Go back to the den!" The cat hisses.
Wavepaw.
"You can't control what I do," I snarl back, "You have no authority over me, sister."
"Well, you can't stop me from doing what I think is right!"
"You think this is right?" I ask in confusion.
Instantly Wavepaw's eyes fill with malice and sadness. I look away, not wanting to see the expression that I probably held for whole 12 moons of my life.
Then Wavepaw runs to the camp, probably to tell my mentor or Grassstar.
I sigh, looking at the night sky and dimly wondering which one is my mother and father.
Then I stop myself thinking.
'Bravekit--Bravepaw, your parents abandoned you in a camp full of fox-hearts and mouse-brains--they left you to be hurt. Why long for them when you have Calmrain, Fallingflower, and a bunch of adorable kits who are ready to defend you at all costs... and Hailfrost.
'Hailfrost.'
The faintest sound of another cat's breath interrupts my thinking. I whip my head back, accidentally bumping into Hailfrost, who tried(and obviously failed) to ambush me.
"Ha, ha, hi?" Hailfrost greets me awkwardly.
Chapter Nine[]
I sigh. "Seriously?"
"Yup," Hailfrost says without any shame in his eyes, "Well, I needed you to be ready for your warrior assessment, you know..."
"What? I am becoming a warrior?" I exclaim.
"Yeah, and well... head-butting another warrior is a skill... I guess," Hailfrost shrugs. "If Grassstar knows that I am going to make you a warrior, I'd be dead."
"Then why risk it, when you can abandon me and be loyal to that mouse-brain?" I ask sharply.
"Because he is a mouse-brain, of course," Hailfrost says.
Silvery moon rose high up in the sky, illuminating Hailfrost's white fur. "Aaaand my duty is also to protect you at all costs... to repay her..."
"Wait, what do you mean?" I ask. "Who is her? Wait, I think I know. Is it your crush?"
"No! Not ever!" Hailfrost's face reddens. "Stop asking about sensitive matters, Bravepaw!"
I cannot tell if he is joking or not.
"Oh well then," I say.
"Bravepaw," Hailfrost asks. "Do you ever realize that your kin might be in danger and you do nothing to save her?"
"What do you mean, Hailfrost? You mean Wavepaw?"
"Yes," His truthful answer surprised me, "Wavepaw."
"But she is not in danger. You are so wrong, Hailfrost."
"Bravepaw--"
"She is a pathetic apprentice who babbles on about saving Bravepaw--who is a more pathetic loser who definitely does not deserve attention!"
"Bravepaw, you are not a pathetic loser--"
"Will you listen to me just for once?!" I shout.
"Well, will you listen to me just for once? Bravepaw, being sad and angry is more dangerous than being hit by a Twoleg Monster! Why aren't you understanding that? I thought you were the one who was always sad until I came to make you an apprentice!"
"I. Wasn't. Sad. And don't you dare misunderstand my point! I could have lived quietly in this pitiful Clan with Fallingflower and Calmrain and everything until I was an elder!"
"Bravepaw," Hailfrost says in more calmer tone, but his voice is colder. "I do understand your point. But Shinekit, Couragekit, and Rainkit can't last forever, Grassstar will kill them all. Fallingflower and Calmrain are old. Who can guarantee that they can live up to a thousand moons? You must leave, Bravepaw, with all your friends here. You do not belong here... at least for now."
"Now you are admitting that I am a pathetic loser, Hailfrost. I don't belong here. I know that. But I am not a coward who leaves this dangerous Clan for my sake--go if you wish, Hailfrost. But I am staying here."
"Fine by me," Hailfrost's voice is as cold as his name, "see if I care, Bravekit."
"Well, see if I care, O great Hailstar," I say, keeping my voice low and cold, "see if I care. I don't care even if you die!"
Hailfrost flinches at this as I screech the last part out, and he watches with empty eyes as I run, run, run back to camp...