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Episode 7, Season 5 of War.
Enjoy <3
Just the Toms[]
"Bye!" Gorsefur waved his tail as the three she-cats disappeared into the forest, walking towards EarthClan. As soon as they were out of sight, his tail drooped and he let out a breath.
"Party!" Oakclaw crowed. Stormflight gave a cheer and Grayleaf took a tiny step away from the two warriors.
Gorsefur agreed. A few days without the she-cats? Sure he was...you know....in love with Brookfall...but a break would be nice.
Just the toms.
Oakclaw flopped on his back, the sun reflecting in his bright eyes. "So what first? Mud fights? Dunking in the river? Or maybe we should go find some pretty she-cats and-"
Stormflight snorted and Oakclaw glared at him. "You're practically mated. Time to give up the single attitude."
"You're one to talk."
"Guys, as of right now, the only bachelor is Grayleaf, and he has about as much mate-appeal as a kitten," Gorsefur sighed. Grayleaf nodded, then did a double take. "So maybe we should find another way to prove how macho we are?"
There were grumbles and nods and then a few minutes of silence.
"I'm hungry," Stormflight announced.
"Thanks for sharing," Gorsefur suddenly realized he was hungry too. Really hungry. Brookfall was the one who usually took care of hunting patrols, wasn't she? Maybe he should have appointed Oakclaw as second after all...
"I don't want to hunt alone though," Stormflight whined. "What if there's like....things out there."
"What kind of things?" Grayleaf asked, purring.
"I dunno! Creepy things! Slimy things!"
"You're such a girl," Oakclaw sighed, looking at Gorsefur like, Can you believed these 'cruits?
"I'll come with you," Gorsefur announced, as his stomach made what could only be described as a gurgling noise.
"Guess I'll go then too," Oakclaw gave Gorsefur the evil eye. He looked to Grayleaf, "You coming too?"
Grayleaf looked nervously up at the moon, then back to the group, and opened his mouth.
"Grayleaf," Stormflight said patiently. "If you ruin guys' night by saying it's late when the moon's barely risen, I will eat you instead of a squirrel."
Grayleaf closed his mouth and stalked after them, glaring balefully between Stormflight and the moon.
The forest was abuzz with life and Gorsefur would have ordinarily reflected on how quickly things could chance. How you could go from being broken and hopeless and terrified to happy and in love and normal on a perfect evening with your friends. But that would have distracted him, so he just focused on finding something that would taste good.
"Mouse," Stormflight breathed. They all slowed and Stormflight scented the air, then dropped into a crouch. Pulling himself to the right, he slipped noiselessly through the undergrowth, and then pounced.
And then a high, pained, very un-tom-like shriek split the forest.
Stormflight stared in horror at the 'mouse' that was now waving wildly. And the other toms stared in horror as the gray she-cat it was attached to burst from the bushes, eyes wide with pain and confusion, followed by six other cats.
A patrol. Gorsefur scented the air. EarthClan. Lovely.
"What in the name of StarClan-" this was a russet she-cat. She stood in the center of the group, and her blue eyes held an air that told Gorsefur he was looking at another commander.
"Why would you do that?!" the gray she-cat wailed, curling her tail close to her. "That hurt!"
"Mousetail, shhh..." the russet she-cat soothed.
Oakclaw purred, "Her name is Mousetail? That's appropriate."
Mousetail looked aghast and Oakclaw shrugged in apology. The russet she-cat narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Alright, I'm Poppyfire, commander. What's your name and rank?"
"Erm...I'm Earthy...face...and this is...Dirtdust and....Dustdirt..."
"How are you so good at lying when it doesn't involve us getting into a skirmish?" Stormflight muttered. Gorsefur kicked back at him.
The russet she-cat lowered her head a little. Hostile now. "WaterClan then. Alright, we'd better get down to it then."
Gorsefur sighed. Four to seven. He thought they might be able to do it. But then, Oakclaw suddenly yanked on his tail. Gorsefur cursed and spun around to see his best friend looking at him with wide amber eyes. "Gorsefur, we can't."
"Why not?!" Gorsefur growled, furious.
"They're all...you know."
"What?"
Oakclaw looks side to side, then leans in, and whispers, albeit very loudly, "Girls."
Gorsefur looked over at the EarthClan patrol who was watching them bemusedly. It was true, he realized. Even the hulking brute he assumed was a tom had a certain look to her eyes, a posture...
"What do we do?" Grayleaf asked, eyes wide.
"They're girls!" Stormflight rolled his eyes, exasperated. "We can't beat them up!"
"We can hear you y'know," a wiry brown she-cat snapped. Her sharp green eyes reminded Gorsefur very much of Brookfall, and he very much wished she was here to tell him what to do with the insanely awkward situation.
"Olivenose is right," Poppyfire glared at Gorsefur. "The fact that we are female should not affect your decision on whether or not to challenge us for having crossed the border."
"Erm..." Gorsefur was stymied by her formality. "Why did you cross the border exactly?"
"We're a scouting patrol of medicine cats."
Gorsefur looked at her for a moment. "You're joking."
Poppyfire narrowed her eyes further, the blue slits pure poison. "We are all trained to fight, as your medicine cats should be as well."
"You're...an all female squad...of medicine cats." Gorsefur summarized, still grasping the ridiculousness of this.
Poppyfire nodded, jaw clenched.
"Yeah...look, just...go back over the border and we'll forget this ever happened..." Gorsefur wasn't sexist, but an all she-cat squad of medicine cats? Seriously? That would have been on par with kicking kittens and knocking down elders.
Poppyfire looked like a thunderstorm approaching as she stalked towards Gorsefur. "Are you insinuating that because of our gender and lifestyle, my squad couldn't hold out own in a fight with you four toms?" Her lip curled slightly.
"Yes?"
Spinning, Poppyfire turned, her squad following her as she stalked towards the border without another word.
"That was weird," Grayleaf muttered.
"Eh," Stormflight shrugged. "We did the right thing. Poor things probably didn't realize they crossed the border."
"Considering who you two are head over tails in love with," Gorsefur said, glancing from Stormflight to Oakclaw, "I'm surprised you have the courage to say this."
"Aw, come on!" Oakclaw protested. "It would have been mean to attack them! That one she-cat couldn't even handle a shrimp like Stormflight pouncing on her tail!"
"Shrimp?!" Stormflight cried incredulously.
Gorsefur felt like he had to agree. Ruefully, he nodded, and Oakclaw looked relieved. "Alright, let's go get muddy!"
He led the group towards the river, talking with Stormflight as Grayleaf bounced by them. Gorsefur followed, a little more slowly, struggling to shake the feeling that something was wrong.
"Wow," Shadowsong meows. "Sounds scary."
"Getting scared by a group of she-cats," I tease, whiskers twitching.
Snowflight glares at the toms, "Although you guys seriously need to learn some manners." She grins, revealing sharp teeth, "I could teach you!"
"That's not the end of the story!" Oakclaw almost yells, and we all lean back a little, eyes wide. He takes a moment and composes himself. "That's not the end," he says, softer this time. Stormflight stares glumly at his paws.
"Go ahead," I sigh, lying down.
Gorsefur opens his mouth and continues the story.
As the toms entered camp again, Gorsefur took survey of the set up. Definitely not as neat as if Brookfall was here (she had this thing about everything being neat...it was a little weird) but suitable. He looked at the prey pile and saw it was pretty full. Strolling over, he poked around before finding a plump mouse.
Settling down next to Grayleaf, who was polishing off a small wren, he dug in. It tasted like the forest floor and leaves, but it was no less delicious. Maybe even a little better.
Stormflight and Oakclaw returned, slightly wet. After a 'practice session' (which was basically an excuse to roll around in the mud for no reason whatsoever) they had been so dirty, Gorsefur ordered them to wash off. Oakclaw grabbed a squirrel, Stormflight a vole.
"Fun day," Gorsefur said softly. His vision blurred for a moment. Maybe if he'd been a normal cat who didn't get drugged every other mission by enemies, he would have thought nothing of it. But he was that lucky kind of cat, so he jumped up.
"What?" Stormflight asked, eyes worried.
Gorsefur felt dizzy. "They drugged us!"
"Are you sure-" Oakclaw wrinkled his nose, then leaned over and threw up on Stormflight's paws. This caused Stormflight to shout in disgust and vomit as well. Grayleaf laughed hysterically.
Gorsefur's mind was spinning out of control. They weren't poisoned, they'd be dead by now, right? Right? He was seeing things, StarClan spirits wreathed in ferns and Brookfall dancing in the river and suddenly there was a fox and everyone was laughing...
There was the sharp yip of a fox and the toms all shrieked in fear. Every breath felt sharper, Gorsefur could feel his own heartbeat. His stomach roiled and his mind sped with dizzying and terrifying thoughts.
He would have liked to say they managed to maintain sanity for an hour. At least. In reality, it was only a few moments before the toms were a shivering, gibbering pile of cowards.
Gorsefur couldn't have said if it was a hallucination or whether Poppyfire had actually come up to him. She leaned down and whispered, "She-cats- and medicine cats, for that matter- can fight just as well as any of you toms."
The shadows that made up her squad slipped away into the night, leaving Gorsefur and the others curled together in terror.
Gorsefur finishes his tale and looks at us, expecting...something.
"That was the lamest story I've ever heard," Shadowsong finally says.
"I wonder what herb it was..." Snowflight mutters, lost in thought.
"You guys are ridiculous," I purr, but give Gorsefur a lick on the cheek anyways. "I'm going to bed. Wake me if you have any nightmares, will you?"
I shouldered Oakclaw as I padded towards my nest and he purred, looking sheepish. "Night Brookfall!"
"I'm going to sleep too," Snowflight finally said. She sounded a little stiff, still unfamiliar with the group. "Goodnight."
"Night," the others chorused. Not entirely welcoming, but not entirely hostile either. Stormflight accompanied her to her nest, talking to her in a low voice. I heard her purr once and tell him to be quiet or she'd slip something in his breakfast. Whiskers twitching, I rolled over and closed my eyes, though I didn't fall asleep right away.
It was fun, visiting EarthClan. Being the center of attention. Getting to know Snowflight- as scary and sometimes strange as she was. But this, this was my favorite place. With everyone, laughing, sleeping, hanging out. Finding more and more reasons why she-cats are better than toms.
"Boo!"
I looked up quizzically. Gorsefur looks upset he didn't scare me. "You would've been scared too," he huffs.
I purr and he curls up next to me. "Sure I would've."
"You would have!"
"Uhuh."
We continue like that, on and on, until Oakclaw yowls for us to shut up. And then, finally, after a few hectic, nightmarish days, I sleep.