It pains me to say it... but I'm ready to ditch this spoof. Anyone wanna adopt it?
1. Marriage[]
Crowfeather: Yay, another great glorious day of WindClan! *walks out of warriors den and sees Breezepelt*
Breezepelt: Hey Dad!
Crowfeather: *ignores Breezepelt* I wonder what I should do today... hmmm... lets see...
Breezepelt: You know, I caught three rabbits yesterday!
Crowfeather: Maybe I should.... teach Onestar how to grow out his fur properly....
Breezepelt: *waves paws in Crowfeathers face* Hi! I exist!
Crowfeather: *looks around* Could have sworn I heard something....
Breezepelt: THAT WAS MEEEEEE!!!!!!
Crowfeather: *glances at the sky* I THINK IT WAS FEATHERTAIL
Breezepelt: WHOS FEATHERTAIL??????? IS HE YOUR SON THAT YOU LOVE MORE THEN MEEEEEE????
Crowfeather: Oh, I miss Feathertail *sobs* Her tail was so featherish!
Breezepelt: Sooooo.... was Feathertail your daughter you love more then me?
Nightcloud: Son.... you don’t want to know who Feathertail is.
Crowfeather: She was so preetttyyyy!!!!
Breezepelt: Why not Mum?
Crowfeather: I want my Fffffeeeeeeeaaaaatttttthhhhhheeeeeerrrrrr
Nightcloud: *winces* You just... don’t. You defenitely don’t.
Crowfeather: *hugs Feathertail poster*
Breezepelt: WHY DO YOU LOVE EVERYONE MORE THEN ME DAD???? YOU LOVE THAT POSTER MORE THEN ME AND MY MOTHER
Crowfeather: BE MY BRIDE FEATHERTAIL!!!! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN STORMFUR WHO DIED NOT YOU MY PRECIOUS
Heathertail: *walks out of warriors den and sees Crowfeather so goes back in*
Crowfeather: *kisses Feathertail poster* I wish I could marry you Feathery!!!
Ashfoot: Is my son getting married?
Breezepelt: *angry at being rejected* Uh, yeah. He proposed to the poster, and it said yes.
Ashfoot: This is so WONDERFUL
Nightcloud: For you.
Ashfoot: Nightdeath, arent you happy your mate is going to marry a poster of a mate he wanted to take instead of you but couldn‘t because she sacrificed herself to save a bunch of Tribe cats with really long names and him?
Nightcloud: *blinks*
Breezepelt: Um, will he have a wedding?
Ashfoot: Of course! Leave that to me! He’ll be married by the end of today!
Nightcloud: *realising what Breezepelt is doing and liking it* Should I tell Onestar so he can start the... marriage ceremony?
Ashfoot: *snorts* No. Leaders don’t do marriage ceremonies. Medicine cats do that. And I’m telling Kestrelflight.
Nightcloud: Fine, fine.
Crowfeather: *stops kissing poster* Wait, I’m getting married?
Breezepelt: Erm, yeah!
Kestrelflight: Crowfeather, do you take Feathertail Poster to be your lawful wedded wife?
Crowfeather: I do not know what’s happening.
Ashfoot: *crying* He said ‘I do!’
Clanmates: CROWFEATHERS MARRIED TO A POSTER!!!!!!
Onestar: *smirking at Breezepelt* Will you babysit the magazine headed kits?
Kestrelflight: Then I proclaim you tom and she-cat! Erm, sorry, I mean I proclaim you tom and poster!
Breezepelt: CROWFEATHERS MARRIED TO A POSTER! HES MARRIED TO A POSTER!
*WindClan turns to stare at Crowfeather. He shrinks, embarrassed.*
2. Names[]
Berrynose: *to Bramblestars imposter* I think Jayfeather shouldn’t be a Medicine Cat anymore.
Bramblestars Imposter: WHO CARES WHAT YOU THINK YA TAILLESS SCUM???
Berrynose: *bowing* No-one, oh wonderful one. I am a worthless nobody who doesn’t even deserve to be told off by you.
Bramblestars Imposter: BOWING IS AGAINST THE WARRIOR CODE! BE EXILED FOR THREE MOONS!!!
Berrynose: That is most wise of you, wise one. I will leave for six moons to please you.
Bramblestars Imposter: *squinting* Berrystumpytail, I told you to leave for three moons. Why are you still here?
Berrynose: Oh, I’m such a mousebrain! Thank you for renaming me!
Bramblestars Imposter: Leave.
Berrystumpytail: Yes sir! I’m leaving now! *leaves*
Bramblestars Imposter: Bristlefrost!
Bristlefrost: *comes over to him* Yes oh glorious law abiding leader?
Bramblestars Imposter: I wanted to add something to the warrior code.
Bristlefrost: *blinks* That’s a.... great idea!
Bramblestars Imposter: I know.
*awkward silence*
Bramblestars Imposter: I, as leader, have the right to rename all warriors in my Clan.
Bristlefrost: That sounds wonderful! What a glorious law abidind leader you are!
Bramblestars Imposter: I'm glad you agree with me. *raises voice* Let all cats old enough to memorise the warrior code meet under the High-ledge for a Clan meeting!
*all cats old enough to memorise the warrior code gather under the High-ledge for the Clan meeting*
Jayfeather: Why am I here?
Lionblaze: Because you're old enough to memorise the warrior code, that's why!
Jayfeather: *sniffs* Bramblestar has been adding on so many extra rules, I'd have to be an elder to know it all!
Bramblestar's Imposter: THAT'S IT. GO INTO EXILE.
Jayfeather: But-
Bramblestar's Imposter: NO BUTS.
Jayfeather: Fine. *goes into exile*