The History of DerpClan
DerpClan was founded long ago, by Derp Star.
Swift Paw, a black and white cat, led Derp Star, a gray cat down a tunnel.
"Does this have to be cringy?"
Swift Paw dragged his paws.
"Yes, it's a cringespoof, and Swift Paw, you made it, so no complaining."
"Also, stop putting these enters on purpose."
They reached a stone with a derpy face on it.
"You have reached me."
"Yes, we have."
"Now touch me."
Swift Paw did so and fell asleep.
Derp Star touched his nose to the stone.
"Welcome to Dreamworld."
It was a beautiful land.
Starry cats ran around.
Everything there, was perfect.
Derp Star's Nine Lives
"Hello Derp Star," a white cat meowed. "Toilet Star." Swift Paw dipped his head. "The leader of ToiletClan?" Derp Star asked. "The one and only. ToiletClan died, after everycat started to hate me," Toilet Star sighed. "The ancient time of DerpClan has begun."
"With this life, I give you a booty. Use it to fight."
A huge booty appeared on Derp Star's rear. "Thank you, now it feels like a part of me is back," Derp Star sighed. "It wasn't ever there though..." Swift Paw whispered. "YOUR A PROPHECY, THEN!" Toilet Star blurted out. "Come with me, I will make you royalty," she said, "Lowly Swift Paw, bow down to him."
Swift Paw rolled his eyes and bowed. "Good," Toilet Star mewed. She kicked Derp Star away. "You can't be royalty anymore, for some awkward reason," Toilet Star announced. Swift Paw sighed in relief. Derp Star cried. "Your next life-giver is here," Toilet Star announced.
A blazing, firey cat came out of the bushes. "I iz Firestar!1!1!1!" He announced. Flames were coming out of him. "Does he know proper grammar?" Swift Paw asked. "HUSH, LOWLE POO PEE!" Firestar cried. "WIT TIS LIF, I GIVEZ U ROYALTE, US ITZ WELLZ!" Firestar touched his nose to Derp Star.
"BOW DOWN TO MEZ!1!1!" He cried. Swift Paw ran away. Derp Star tried to follow him, but Toilet Star held him back. "He has chosen his path," was the last thing Swift Paw heard Toilet Star say. He woke up. Derp Star was still asleep beside him. He left the sacred cavern, and got back to camp.
But he didn't realize.... He was in ThunderClan! "Would you like to join us?" A blue-gray cat asked. "Yes, yes I would."
And Swift Paw never saw DerpClan or Derp Star again. Until he was eaten by dogs. Derp Star was still there. "This is your last life," a cat was telling him. His booty had grown bigger with every life.
"Swift? Your dead?" Derp Star asked. "It's been a second! Why!?" Derp Star cried. "It's been about a year..." Swift Paw corrected him. "WHAT!?" Derp Star died from his scream, and they lived a happy life in Dreamworld. Many cats saw Derp Star's dead body at the Moonstone. Goodbye, readers. This tale has ended.