Hi, this is Peroncat.
I took a look at my old version of this fanfic, Struggling in the Grass, and decided that I should make a remake of this fanfic with the same plot because I was younger and had bad grammar back then. If you want to take a look at the old one, please follow the link.
Thank you! I hope you enjoy :)
P. S. If you want to add characters into this fic please follow this format--
Name
Gender
Approximate age
appearance
Clan
rank
mate/kits/crush
personality
Can it be a villain in the story
Dedication
Special thanks to Ms. Frost, who was my English mentor.
Warnings
Some suicide attempts will be vividly described in this fiction. Read at your own risk.
Allegiances
ThunderClan
Grass-star, leader, a tom with grass green eyes and silvery white pelt
Hailfrost, deputy, a tom with ice blue eyes and long, elegant white fur
apprentice, Bravepaw
Fallingflower, medicine cat, a kind old she-cat with cream fur and warm amber eyes
(I will add more warriors here once someone submits)
Lightshine, warrior, a she-cat with light orange fur and a white back leg
Apprentice- Treepaw
Blazefur, a tom with light amber fur with a darker tail tip
apprentice, Wavepaw
Rainflight, warrior, a tom with dark gray fur and white stripes on his back
Apprentice- Cloudpaw
Shrewswoop, warrior, a top with mouse gray fur and sharp yellow eyes
Calmrain, queen, a she-cat with really light gray pelt and yellow eyes
kits- Seedkit(son(used to be Shinekit in my original fic)), Rainkit(daughter), Valorkit(daughter, used to be Couragekit in my original fic)
Snowear, queen, a she-cat with white left ear and gray feet
kits- none
Cloudpaw, apprentice, a tom with snow white fur
Wavepaw, apprentice, a she-cat with beautiful blue eyes and copper fur
Treepaw, apprentice, a tom with brown fur and greenish eyes
Bravepaw(shh! She is the main character of the fic!), apprentice, a she-cat with black stripes, gold fur, and green and blue eyes
Oceanmist, elder, a gray-ish tom with sky blue eyes
Other cats particularly important:
Hazelwillow, a tom with hazel colored eyes and white stripes, ShadowClan
Lily, a queen living in the Twolegplace
Prologue
A young kit, only three moons old, was wandering.
Something a kit shouldn't do.
Others didn't seem to care, though.
The she-kit staggered, as if something was bothering her.
It was a thorn stuck on her paw.
It hurt, although it was mild pain compared to the anger that had taken over her. The thorn stuck in her heart was much more painful.
A cream old she-cat stepped out into the rain and told the kit softly, "Come on, Bravekit. You shouldn't be wandering. Come here, and I will treat your paw."
Bravekit narrowed her eyes at her. "How can I believe you?"
"I cared for your mother when she gave birth to you--a medicine cat shouldn't ignore a kit in need. If I really hated you, I wouldn't have helped your mother at all when she gave birth," Fallingflower said innocently, "Now, sit down."
As she sat down on the warm nest of the medicine den, it dawned on Bravekit that she never had a nest this nice in her den. The nursery never welcomed her, after all.
Tears came to her eyes, and she didn't care enough to block it from falling. Fallingflower noticed this and soothed her in calm words.
"Little one, it's okay. Your parents wouldn't like it when you are crying. They wish you the happiest."
Her so-called parents.
They left her when Wavekit and Bravekit were born for unknown reasons-but Bravekit knew that they left because they hated her appearance, or maybe because she was hated by everyone else, and her parents didn't want to get in trouble because of her Clanmates' hate for Bravekit.
Wavekit, her sister, on the other hand, was loved by everyone. Why? They were born from same parents. They were littermates. One loved, one abandoned. All Bravekit wanted is warm care and love... and look how she turned out to be after believing in parents.
They were not existing to her anymore now.
Bravekit growled in anger and sadness... but there was nothing she could do.
She had no choice but to stay an outcast.
Chapter One(Written in Bravekit's POV)
Cats are murmuring with voices that indicates that there is a surprise. I look up from my makeshift nest that Fallingflower made for me a few days before. It is soft and comfy, made out of bracken and feathers.
Then I see a familiar white tabby with startling blue eyes. Hailfrost, the deputy of ThunderClan. Next to him is Fallingflower, who became my acting guardian after what my past guardian did to me. It was a surprise that Grass-star even let her do that. Then again, Fallingflower is the messenger of StarClan. No one can disobey the stars, after all.
Hailfrost meows. "Grass-star, I wish to mentor Bravekit. She is almost 10 moons old--she is too old to be in the nursery."
Fallingflower speaks out. "Yes, Grass-star. Bravekit is old enough."
No one agrees.
Yet Grass-star waves his tail impatiently and says, "Then mentor her. I don't want to be interrupted because of that pesky cat, understood?"
"Yes Grass-star," Hailfrost says.
I slink back to my den, wondering why my Clanmates hate me. Then it dawns on me, finally, that Hailfrost has stepped out to help me. Help me, a cat everyone hated. It's not that I personally cared, I didn't know what to do. I feel like I've lost my emotions. Cats like me can be dangerous--emotionless, capable of doing anything.
Maybe that's why I am hated. Maybe because I was a robotic cat who deserved to be hated.
Maybe that's it. Maybe I am a bad cat.
Without thinking, I will myself to sleep. My dreams are much, much sweeter than reality--warm, comforting, yet it's not true.
My mother, whom I know by my heart, appears in my dream, smiling brightly. I say something like "How could you smile? How can you smile when your daughter despises you?"
Then she disappears, leaving me lost in the darkness.
Another spirit enters my dream. She is a beautiful she-cat, with golden pelt, black stripes zigzagging her body, and a green left eye and a blue right eye. She looks a bit like me.
"Who are you?" I ask.
"My name is Prospectheart. You are Bravepaw, right?" Prospectheart says.
"Yes." I say. "I know you."
"Good luck with your journey, Bravepaw. Many hardships will await you, but we--your mother--will stay with you and watch over your steps."
"You are lying," I say with surprisingly soft voice. "It's not true."
"Maybe," Prospectheart smiles sadly. "Good-bye, Bravepaw."
Chapter Two
I jolt awake, remembering what the starry warrior had said. Prospectheart, that was what she called herself. I feel slightly hopeful, then I push that feeling back.
No need to be hopeful when there is no hope.
"Bravepaw, wake up," A small, excited voice whispers in my ear. "Today is your first training session! Aren't you excited?"
Calmrain, the cat who took care of me since my parents left.
"I am... Bravepaw now?" I try out my new name. Bravepaw. Bravepaw. I like it.
"Yes. Hailfrost is waiting for you at the entrance--you should sleep in the apprentices' den tonight." Then Calmrain gives me a small wink. "Good luck, Bravepaw!"
I give her my best smile--which probably looks creepy because I am not used to those happy, silly expressions-then take a tentative step outside.
A sleek tom with bright, optimistic blue eyes greet me. Hailfrost.
"Hello," He says. "My new apprentice, Bravepaw."
"Hello," I reply. "Let's go. Where to?"
"Go straight forward," then he whispers in my ear, "ignore cats glaring or staring at you. I know it's uncomfortable, but it's the best way to... urm, make them bored."
My eyes obey for some unknown reason. Slowly, firmly, I take my first step outside of the familiar clearing that my nursery-- my former nursery-- was located.
Hailfrost was right--many cats were glaring or staring at me as I walked past. I ignore them, and fix my stare up front. I see Fallingflower with her ever-so kindly gaze. I nod my greetings. The old medicine cat smiles.
As soon as Hailfrost and I reach the forest, Hailfrost teaches me some basic things-- spotting the prey, hunting crouch, getting ready, lifting my tail to balance myself, then pounce.
Then I smell something like a bird that Calmrain used to deliver me ever-so-secretly. I look at Hailfrost, and he nods with encouragement. My heart starts to warm up, but I think of all the cats I'd trusted. Numerous cats among them had betrayed me--there is no guarantee that Hailfrost will be a kind, inspiring deputy that I see on the outside. His inside might be twisted, dark, and scarred.
I crouch down, wait until the big, fat bird lands--then pounce.
I catch the feathery creature in my paws. Hailfrost smiles.
"Nice job, Bravepaw! That bird is called 'thrush'. You are very good at this! Although next time, try to sense the wind a bit more so that the prey doesn't smell you. Okay?" The sleek deputy complements.
"Okay," I say. "But first, I am hungry. Let's bring this back to the camp."
Then we pad side by side, as a mentor and an apprentice, back to the camp. Maybe a simple moment of quietness, like now, is just what I need.