Book 1 of the DurpClan series! Please don't die of stupidity laughter.

Note: You can go to this page in order to choose which of my ideas for events later in the story you like.

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Join The Dark Bunny Clan! Join it now! 21:40, August 13, 2020 (UTC)

Two words. Love. It. (Oh, and a heart. -> <3) Skittlestrike of Halloween!

This is beautiful-ly funny! Bwahahahaha bla bla bla that stuff. Peaches! Potatoes! Pears! Oh my! 21:44, August 13, 2020 (UTC)

Of course I love it!  Divided we stand, united we fall...01:17, August 14, 2020 (UTC)

Allegiances

Cat Submission Form

You can create cats for this story! Just use this form:

Name:

Gender:

Clan/Tribe/Other:

Rank:

Appearence:

Personality:

Mate (Optional):

Kits (Optional):

A/N: If someone commented a cat and wants a mate for them but didn't make one, you can make one for them, but you need to have my permission and the permission of the original creator of that cat.

DurpClan (Cat Submission Closed)

Leader: Deadstar - A leader that is dead but all the cats still follow him

Deputy: Lardbelly - The fattest cat to ever walk the lake territories

Medicine Cat: Mosspool - Yet another gentle female medicine cat Apprentice: Fluffpaw

Warriors: Chickenleg - Battle-hungry tom who eats his weight in chicken every day

Mousebrain - Scatterbrained she-cat who often eats things she's not supposed to Apprentice: Dumbpaw

Nerdface - Smart tom with no sense of humor

Headchomper - A tom who likes to bite off enemy cat's heads

Buffpelt - Extremely muscular she-cat who beats up everyone

Angellight - The ultimate Mary-Sue, perfect with no personality

Orangesmile - A tom who's mouth is frozen in a smile and is obsessed with orange paint

Mountaindew - A green-tinted gray tom who is obsessed with Mountain Dew Apprentice: Vegetpaw

Midas - Former rogue with a golden pelt and amber eyes who can turn things to gold

Platinumtooth - Silver tom with yellow eyes who is too busy looking at his reflection in water to do anything

Spikyfur - A hedgehog that was teleported to DurpClan and is very confused

Faceplant - Rainbow colored she-cat who consistently face plants into the ground

Apprentices: Dumbpaw - Multiple cats have commented that he was the dumbest cat they had ever known

Fluffpaw - Another gentle female medicine cat trainee

Vegetpaw - White she-cat with amber eyes who usually has leaves wrapped around her and won't hunt or eat meat, although she sometimes steals berries from the medicine den

Queens: Silvertail - Gentle queen who will probably end up dying because of stereotypical plots (Mother of Starrykit, Gangnumkit, and Lasagnakit)

Lilactalon - A blue-gray she-cat with grey eyes, no one knows where the prefix "lilac" came from (Mother of Lovekit, Heartkit, and Foxkit)

Kits: Starrykit - Hairless tom with magenta eyes

Gangnumkit - You never see him without "Gangnum style" playing in the background

Lasagnakit - A kit who can make lasagna land on anyone's head

Lovekit - A she-kit who is a very persuasive talker

Heartkit - A very beautiful she-kit who all the toms like (Even Deadstar!)

Foxkit - The most sane kit in the clan

Elders: Droopyeyes: A tom who is sleeping 23 1/2 hours every day

MurpClan

Leader: Cheapstar - Whenever he is too lazy to hunt prey, he buys the cheapest prey possible from other cats

Deputy: Dirtface - He once face-planted in the dirtplace, and he's been called Dirtface ever since

Medicine Cat: Addertail - Brown she-cat with black diamond markings and an adder attached to her tail, knows how to use it to heal cats

Warriors: Birdflight - Brown she-cat with lilac eyes, any birds she draws come to life

Woolymammoth - Very large long-haired brown tom with giant tusks

Cucumberflight - Green she-cat who throws cucumbers just for the fun of it

BurpClan

Leader: Fuzzystar - Brown she-cat with very fluffy fur, throws hunks of animal fur at cats that disagree with her, has a secret storage of animal pelts for ammunition supply

Deputy: Loudface - Dark brown tom with white eyes, has a crush on Dirtkit

Medicine Cat: Dandelionleaf - Yellow she-cat who will only eat dandelion flowers (not the puff balls)

Warriors: Dumbwing - White she-cat with white eyes, pretends to be stupid to mess with everyone

Yeetface - Gray tom with rainbow eyes who can only say YEET

Queens: Twoleg - Obese, bright silver tom who loves everything to do with food and is a known food thief (Mother/father/whatever of Fatkit)

Kits: Dirtkit - Warrior aged she-cat who you don't wanna know how she was born

Fatkit - Very skinny golden tom who has green eyes

UrpClan

Leader: YouTubestar - Red tom with 2 blue eyes and a green third eye, watches everything on YouTube as soon as it's released

Deputy: Tailkit - An actual kit who was appointed deputy when the leader went insane, goes by the name of Tailkit the Mighty

Medicine Cat: Dogbreath - Blue-gray tom who once ate a dog, and his breath has smelled like a dog ever since

Warriors: Lionscale - ginger tom with royal blue colored scales that can't be harmed by teeth or claws.

Stupidhead - Large ginger tom with a black tuft of fur on his head and green eyes, can't remember anything that happened over 5 seconds ago, makes up for some of his stupidity in strength, but can never remember his battle moves.

Dogtail - Blue-gray tom with a short tail, never does not have the OwO expression on, is called "that insane one in the corner" for a reason

Queens: Burntface - ginger she-cat with a burnt face from reheating food from Buffalo Wild Wings, and only cares about Cringekit (to the point where she would give her chicken wings to him) (Mother of Cringekit)

Kits: Cringekit - The outcast who tries to fit in but is extremely cringey

Tribe of the Big Banana

Leader: Pool that is yellow at Sunset (Yellowpool) - big yellow she-cat with brown eyes and ears and a green tail tip who is good at leading, but only leading like a kittypet, and she was once a kittypet and the tribe worships her

Cave-Guards: Pads That Cracked When Walking (Cracked) - A nasty tom with long dark brown fur with leftovers from 3 days ago stuck in it, cracked pink paw pads and a wet pink nose, smells like a dumpster 24/7

LMAOclaw - A tom whose personality is completely summed up by LMAO

LOLfur - A tom whose personality is LOL

XDtail - See above, except replace LOL with XD

Tribe of the Evil Goose

Leader: Wing of Fried Buffalo Chicken (Chickenwing) - Reddish brown she-cat with a flaky pelt and off-white paws, always sneaks down to a farm in twolegplace and hordes their chicken, which no other cat is allowed to touch

Cave-Guards: Cave that makes Mist Rise (Risenmist) - A dark grey she-cat with amber eyes who squints at everyone and is secretly with DurpClan (know as Darkmist in DurpClan)

Cat that sleeps all day (Sleepycat) - Black tom with yellow eyes who sleeps almost all day every day, siblings are Distrustedcat and Cat that loves beautiful flowers

Cat that everyone distrusts (Distrustedcat) - Gray tom with green eyes. For some reason every cat distrusts him with everything and he hates it

Cat that loves beautiful flowers (Flowerlover) - Gray tabby she-cat with yellow eyes and is deaf in one ear. She loves to pick flowers to line her nest and is therefore clueless and distracted

Prey-Hunters: Sun that's covered by clouds (Sun to tribe, Suncloud to clans, which isn't used often) - White tom with orange eyes, for some reason Chickenwing thinks that he's a chicken

Flame that burns like the Sun (Sunfire) - Golden-red she-cat with gray eyes who smells like freshly baked apple pie, her scent attracts prey, making her a bit lazy.

Squirrel that hides in tree (Squirrel) - Dark brown tom with a red tail tip and eyes that change from yellow to green to blue, refuses to hunt or eat squirrels, and sneaks out at the same time Chickenwing does to worship the squirrels

Big Mac from McDonalds (Big Mac) - Black tom with white eyes that has a hamburger bun stuck to his head and only eats big macs

Kit-Mothers: Open

To-Bes: Raven that flies at dusk (Raven to tribe, Ravendusk to clans) - Ginger tom with brown eyes and black legs and can fight like LionClan and TigerClan put together and can't be harmed except for thorns (nobody knows that), is a spy with Risenmist and is training to be a cave-guard

Ocean Breeze that picks up sand (Ocean to tribe and Oceanbreeze to clans) - cream she-cat with golden (the metal) legs and ears. She loves to be in trees and will only eat fish, is training to be a hunter and is a spy with Risenmist and Raven

Wing of Odd-Eyed Dove (Wing) - pale gray tom whose eyes look green to some cats and blue to others, is always confused about why his parents named him after his eye color, if his eyes are blue or green, and since he somehow read all the warriors books, about Dovewing, who looks to similar to him for his name to be a coincidence, is training to be a prey-hunter

Pelt of Blazing Fire (Blaze) - ginger tabby tom with green eyes, he can never take that much damage from smoke or fire, but has a weakness to water and doesn't do well in it, even for a cat not used to swimming.

Kits: Open

Twolegplace cats

Tom - A gray tom that eats anyone who calls him tom, and because of that he has ate multiple Twolegs

She-cat - A gray she-cat who Mountaindew is terrified will find his Mountain Dew

Plastic Bag - A white tom with black eyes whose head is permanently stuck in a plastic bag

Cantelope - A yellow tom with amber eyes who always yells and will eat anything and everything because he is always hungry

Jar - White tom with his head stuck in a very small jar. He is a kittypet but he just invites himself to go anywhere he wants and the cats just have to deal with it. No one knows how he gets to so many places so quickly

Trump - An orange tom with golden fur on his head and blue eyes. He is completely stupid with absolutely no sense of priorities, selfish and greedy, is physically and mentally weak. Has an IQ of -999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

Fred - A black tom with an eyepatch who always carries a gun and is never seen not riding a unicorn with glowing red eyes

Chicken - Golden tom with red eyes, he seems nice but is actually mean, lazy and weird, and has an army of cursed chickens, so he wants all the clan chicken. Knows everything about the Tribes and Clans

Prologue

"Cats of ChickenClan!" yowled a cat named Mechakitty, (Who is also a robot), "Because the clans look to us for guidance, we need to make a totally unclear prophecy to help them and make them waste their time trying to figure it out when the answer is obvious!"

"Which prophecy will we give them this time?" asked a white cat with weird black button eyes called Sockpuppet, "Please tell me it's the watermelon, flamethrower, and buffalo prophecy!"

"No," Mechakitty replied.

Thus followed a large argument to choose whichever prophecy the cats felt like giving the DurpClan medicine cat. It eventually ended with Mechakitty exploding and the ChickenClan cats trying to give the watermelon, flamethrower, and buffalo prophecy to the clans. But first, they had to get approval from... (Booming thunder noises) THE CHICKEN GOD!

"Who is going to tell me the prophecy?" Asked the chicken god. There then followed a mass struggle to get as far from the chicken god as possible, but someone pushed Sockpuppet forward.

"We are going to give the watermelon, flamethrower, and buffalo prophecy," Sockpuppet said nervously.

"Okay, I don't really care," Replied the chicken god.

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Mosspool was rudely jerked from her dream of swimming in a giant bowl of Lucky Charms cereal when Sockpuppet came down from the sky.

"Who are you?" asked the stereotypical gentle female medicine cat.

"I am Sockpuppet," replied Sockpuppet.

"Well hurry up and say whatever it is you want to say, or I might miss my scheduled bouncing on top of marshmallows dream," said Mosspool.

"Whatever," replied Sockpuppet. "You have a very important prophecy: The Clans will face unimaginable dangers from a watermelon. The Starry cat must ride the buffalo chicken in order to use the flamethrower of light to save the Clans."

"Okay, now go away!" replied Mosspool, before starting to bounce on a marshmallow.

Here, the author decided that it was too boring, so they decided to spice things up a bit.

Mechakitty's ghost rode on top of a jet plane through Mosspool's marshmallow world, shooting marshmallows with a machine gun. All the marshmallows were replaced by giant mushrooms, which fell on top of Mechakitty's head. All the ChickenClan cats cheered.

Chapter 1: The Fox

Starrykit slowly blinked open his eyes for the first time, and immediately wished that he hadn't when he saw a massive fox stalking towards the prey pile. It started eating all of the chicken from it while Chickenleg, a warrior, looked on in horror. He nudged Gangnumkit, who already had his eyes open, and pointed outside the den at the fox, and Gangnum Style started playing as Starrykit and Gangnumkit ran out and attacked the fox.

Meanwhile, Deadstar had noticed what was going on, and he rolled down the hill from outside of the leaders den. When he reached the bottom, a slip of paper flew out of his mouth, which said, "I don't care about the kits, but I would like you warriors to drive out the fox before it eats ALL OF THE CHICKEN!"

Starrykit jumped on the fox's back and started ripping out giant clumps of fur, while Gangnumkit drove the fox insane with background music. Eventually, the fox's ears exploded from hearing too much Gangnum Style, so it ran out of the camp, dragging an entire chicken with it. With a roar of fury, the entire clan chased after the fox, intent on rescuing the chicken from the forces of darkness.

Eventually, the warriors came back with the chicken, while the Teletubbies baby-face sun rose over the forest, doing it's usual weird giggles and creepy gurgles. Lasagnakit rushed out of the nursery and ran to the fresh-kill pile, and his face contorted in rage when he saw that there wasn't any lasagna left! He looked around the clearing and saw Spikyfur finishing off the last piece of lasagna. With a yowl of anger, he jumped at Spikyfur, however, the hedgehog just ate the last of the lasagna and walked out of the way, causing Lasagnakit to accidently crash into Buffpelt, who immediately started to beat Lasagnakit up.

Meanwhile, the kit's mother, Silvertail, completely ignored Lasagnakit's dilemma and walked out of the camp as if nothing was wrong. Suddenly, Nerdface sprinted into the camp, yowling "The flamethrower of light has been stolen!"

Immediately there was disconcerted mumbling in between all the cats, while Chickenleg ran around the camp screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" until the author got bored of spamming the O button and stopped. "Now we can't roast our chicken!"

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Meanwhile, in UrpClan, YouTubestar was admiring a random flamethrower that was totally not the flamethrower of light that his trusty deputy Tailkit slowly dragged it into camp as fast as a kit would be able to drag an actual flamethrower into the camp. "This will make a great music video! I can have some cat sing a horrible song in the background while I burn down the forest! This will be great!" exclaimed YouTubestar.

"But the flamethrower of light doesn't have any batteries in it!" noted Dogbreath, the medicine cat. "We can't use it!"

YouTubestar gasped. "Now how will we make the music video?"

"Maybe if we call Fred, he can get the battery of light so we can burn down the forest for effect!" suggested Tailkit.

"Okay, go and get Fred," ordered YouTubestar.

Suddenly, Fred rode his unicorn with glowing red eyes into camp. "Did someone call me?" asked Fred.

YouTubestar gasped, "That unicorn is so majestic!"

"I heard that you needed the battery of light. I shall retrieve it for you." Fred said (Hey, that rhymes!) as he bounded back off into the bushes.

YouTubestar wiped away a tear. "That guy is amazing!"

Chapter 2: A Star Wars Ripoff

Meanwhile, in a galaxy far, far, away (or maybe just less than a mile), there lived 2 tribes of ewoks cats.

To be Continued...

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