This used to be Sparrow's. I adopted it. I hope it'll be as good as she would make it! =D!

RainxSwallow. That's a seriously ignored pairing! So, basically, this is set right after Rainwhisker died. And in my world, he and Swallowtail were secret mates.


Hello. I am Swallowtail, a dark brown tabby she-cat with green eyes. At first glance, there doesn't seem to be anything particularly special about me, right? I have the typical thick fur of a RiverClan cat. My pelt and eyes don't stand out too much. Why, then, am I different?

I had a secret mate. A forbidden one, one I wasn't supposed to have.

His name was Rainwhisker. He was a very handsome dark grey tom with blue eyes. As cliche as it sounds, it was love at first sight.

Well, Rainwhisker just...died. I'd rather not talk about it, honestly.

And now? I'm carrying his kits. Oh, Leopardstar will be so mad.

I'm getting plumper by the day, now. I can't conceal it much longer.

Everyone's probably already figured out that I'm pregnant. In fact, I doubt it'll be too long before they start coming up to me and asking me why I'm not in the nursery yet.

In any case, I shouldn't be having these kits. But I am, and I'll love them. I've loved them since I realized I was carrying.

They'll be born in just a half-moon. I really don't have much time.

(A/N: Well? Is it OK so far?)

Chapter One

(A/N: If you notice similarities between this and A Forbidden Romance, that's because I was actually sorta inspired by my own story. As weird as it sounds, that's the truth. I'm using a similar plotline and the same writing style as AFR, too.)

I am padding over to the river, my stomach growling. I'm starving.

The kits need the nutrition, too, I think.

I'm not really looking where I'm going when I bump into something.

"Oh! Sorry!"

I look up and see the Clan leader, Leopardstar.

I hate Leopardstar. I really do. She is arrogant, heartless, and was cold to me even as a kit. It wasn't my fault, even. (A/N: Run, my fellow Leopardstar haters! Run! *Crawls into a hole* *Hides from angry mob of Leopardstar fans*)

You see, the only reason Leopardstar hates me is because she loved my father, Molefur, and he chose another cat over her. Her own sister, Gorseleaf - my mother.

It's so easy to forget that Leopardstar is my aunt. We don't look or act alike (I take after my father), and we honestly do not like each other. Never have, probably never will.

"Swallowtail," she casually begins. "I see you're quite plump."

I nod.

"What's it to you, Leopardstar?" I question, narrowing my eyes.

She snarls.

"You're pregnant!" she exclaims.

"Um...what?" I lie. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't you play dumb with me," hisses Leopardstar. "You're carrying the brats of that ThunderClan fox dung. I knew it all along."

I gasp.

"Don't call Rainwhisker that!"

She grabs the scruff of my neck and throws me down on the ground.

The kits! I scream inside my head. The kits!

"I suppose it's not really the kits' fault," she snickers. "It's yours, just like everything else. Now go to the nursery."

"Stop that," I say defiantly.

"You're ugly on the inside and out, just like Gorseleaf!" she shrieks.

"You can't insult my mother!"

I bite into her neck as hard as I can. I taste her blood.

That's when I leave. There is no way I will let her see me cry, or give her a chance to fight me back.

Chapter Two

I pad in the forest silently, looking at my paws. I realize what I've just done with the kits, crushing their only chance to be loyal warriors of RiverClan. I wish that I could take be those words, but I continue on through WindClan, lucky that I don't see any patrols. I go past the ThunderClan border, the stench making me scunch my nose.

"You!" a cat screeches. I turn around seeing that a golden tabby tom hissing. "Get off our territory!" he spat. I step back slowly, showing that I'm not going to attack. A white she-cat looked pithily at the matted RiverClan queen.

"Wait, your Swallowtail, aren't you. I think I've seen you at the Gathering. RiverClan, right?" I nod, looking down at my paws. "Thornclaw, I don't think she just happened to be taking a stroll past WindClan! She must need help!" She turned to me. "Is your clan being invaded?" I sigh and shake my head. "No, but I was cast out by Leopardstar. Please, I need Thunder-"

"We're not just taking in a cat who asked for our help!" Thornclaw hisses. "Your own clan can deal with your problems."

"But this is ThunderClan's problem, too!" I insist. "Rainwhisker would have wanted-"

"What Rainwhisker wanted doesn't matter now." Thornclaw interrupted. "He hunts with StarClan now."

"But these are his kits!" I nearly shout. The white she-cat looks startled, but turns to Thornclaw without meeting my eye. "We have to take her to Firestar." she said quietly. Thornclaw gave an exasperated sigh, but flicked his tail to let the patrol follow. A small apprentice who hadn't spoken yet darted off to alert Firestar about me.

My kits would be Half-Clan, unrespected, and considered untrustful.

Why did I have to give them lives as cruel as this?

Chapter Three

I walk into camp behind Thornclaw and the white-cat, who is named Whitewing. The cats in camp quiet down and stare. I can here whispers about me.

"Who's she?"

"Is she a prisoner?"

"She has RiverClan scent! Why is she in our camp?"

I see Firestar, leader of ThunderClan, walking towards Thornclaw. He asks something, then walks towards me.

"You are RiverClan, aren't you?" He asks coolly. I nod. Thornclaw says something else to him. "Whitewing, escort here to the nursery." He tells the she-cat. Whitewing flicks her tail and I follow her silently. I enter a den with a milky scent, and I see three queens. A gray one is quite plump, while a ginger she-cat has three kits sleeping besides her.

"This is Swallowtail. She's having Rainwhisker's kits." Whitewing announces. I want to look down at my paws, away from the startled faces, but I hold my head up high.

"You can rest here." The gray queen annouces. I lie down on the soft moss that carpets the nursery, while the kits stir. A golden kits stares at me, while his mother whispers quietly in his small ear. He turns to his littermates, and mutters to the kits. Do all ThunderClan cats whisper and keep secrets? Or are they just keeping it away from me?

A ginger apprentice enters the den. She brings a mouse, a vole and two rabbits in, gingerly laying the vole at my paws. She gives the fresh-kill to the other queens, and scampers off towards her mentor outside.

I feel like the whole clan is rejecting me- not that they shouldn't. I feel like an outcast, and I realize that I will always be like that. A cat everybody gossips about. A joke.

But will my kits suffer this torment?

Chapter Four

"Push, Swallowtail, Push!" Commands Leafpool, the medicine cat. I moan softly as I feel a bundle coming out. The first kit! I think excitedly. Another spasm and I feel the second one leaving. I sigh contently, and feel the kits beginning suckle. Ferncloud and Daisy purr, and complement me. "They're beautiful, Swallowtail," Daisy says, delighted. "Absolutely perfect." It's the first compliment I've gotten in the quarter-moon since I've arrived.

"What are their names?" squeaks Hollykit, Squirrelflight's daughter. "The little ginger-and-white one is Gorsekit, after my mother." I say lovingly. "The dark gray tom," I pause. "Rainkit." I lay silent while the kits squeal and squirm. Leafpool gives my a herb, borage, for my milk to come quickly. They leaves taste bitter, but I swallow them.

"Are they healthy?" I ask Leafpool nervously. "They seem strong, and I think that Gorsekit will grow bigger, though maybe not as much as her brother." I sigh, relieved that Rainwhisker's kits are okay. Hollykit looks curiously at Leafpool with her herbs and keen eye, and even the blind kit, grumpy little kit- Jaykit- seems inclined to listen and hear what's going on. But he soon he's back to tumbling with his brother, and I turn my focus on Rainkit, my mate's only son. He seems perfect, looking exactly like his father, the cat he would never meet.

"Can they play?" asks Icekit, Ferncloud's daughter. "No," I reply simply. "They're too little for playing with the bigger kits. But soon." I promise to the ginger kit. He seems happy with that answer, and goes back to chasing Foxkit around.

For the first time, I feel like ThunderClan hasn't been avoiding me, swerving away from my as I would walk around the camp, or hear my name under the hushed whispers of the clan. I only hear the content sighs of the she-cats, and the elders commenting on the good news of a full nursery. I feel like I belong.

I am ThunderClan.

Chapter Five

Darkness blocks my senses. I see Willowkit through the haze, screeching in agony. My heart tells me to run out to my daughter, but its like I'm not even there. The scene changes. I see four young cats trailing up a rocky terrain. Rainkit jumps from boulder to boulder, chased by something that looks more vicious than a dog. (A/N: Wolf) I yell out to him, but he doesn't her me. Then I see Gorsekit, blood trickling from her ear, hardly breathing on the forest floor. I see the sun disappearing behind her. I find Littlekit, raggedly breathing while coughing, shaking her frail body.

"Swallowtail!" I hear a yowl that brings my back to the world. "What happened?" Ferncloud asked worridly. "You've collasped and shaking, yowling 'No, No!'. Do you need to see Leafpool?" Daisy whispers. I take a couple deep breaths and shake my head. My kits keep looking at me, and so do the other young ones. But then, they start whining for milk, and they settle down as they suckle. I wrap my tail around them, never letting my eyes wander away from my precious kits, Starclan forbid something happen while I look away for a few heartbeats.

I decide that I'm fine, but Ferncloud goes and finds Leafpool. Leafpool looks thoughful as I retell what happened. "Follow me," she meows. I pad out, thinking that she'll give me herbs, or order me to rest.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

She leads me to her den, then begins to talk. "You had a vision of your kits, right?" she asks. I nod, uncertain of how she knew that.

To Be Continued

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