Pokemon Battle Cats Edition

This will be a collection of Pokémon battles, except they will be done by cats. Hope you enjoy them! This will be made by me and Ferret.

Firestar v. Tigerstar (The obvious one)

Battlegrounds: McDonalds

Firestar: Ladedumdadum! (Walks into McDonalds)

Random kit: (Crying) Tigerstar is eating all the big macs! WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Firestar: (In heroic announcer voice) I'll stop him!

Tigerstar: (Eating Big Macs) Stop me from doing what?

Firestar: (stares at Tigerstar blankly)

Tigerstar: (slowly bites into yet another Big Mac) Nom...?

Firestar: I see how it is. It looks as I must use...the Scourge Strike.

Tigerstar: (chokes on Big Mac) WHAT?!

Scourge: (poofs at the counter of McDonald’s) My...killer attack is only to be used...in the most dire situation.

Firestar: Tigerstar is eating your personal Big Mac!

Scourge: WHAT? DIE! (Mauls Tigerstar)

Tigerstar: GAAAAAHHH! Alright this means war! I use my tiger drop!

Firestar: Wait, what? (Tiger lands on head)

Firestar: (pushes out from under tiger) Take this! (Shoots fire across the room and misses Tigerstar so it hits the Big Macs).

Everyone: (gasps) NOOOOO!!! THE BIG MACS!!

Random kit: (screeches) WAAAAAHHH!! We called you here to SAVE the sacred Macs, not KILL them!

Firestar: Oh, great! I-I’m so sorry! I’ve made a fatal mistake!

Scourge: How DARE you! The Biggest Mac shall take his revenge!

Firestar: HEY! This is supposed to be ME versus TIGERSTAR! Get outta here! (eats random magical ghost pepper and aims Flamethrower at Tigerstar)

The Biggest Mac: I am the great 100 pound Biggest Mac, and I will get revenge on the one who murders Big Macs!

Tigerstar: (Holding baby Big Mac) Isn't he cute?

Firestar: (Breathes fire on Tigerstar) Wahahahahahaha!

The Biggest Mac: You killed Baby Mac! DIE!!!!!!! (Jumps 200 yards into the air)

Firestar: Ummmm… yikes? (Biggest Mac lands on him for 1 million damage!)

Announcer cat: VICTORY! The Biggest Mac is victorious!

The End!

Hollyleaf v. Sol

Battlegrounds: The surface of the moon somehow (don’t ask)

Sol: (watches a shooting Big Mac fly across space)

Hollyleaf: (appears behind him, holding a knife. Instead, she uses Double Slap.)

Sol: OOGABOOGA! What was that for?! (rubs face)

Hollyleaf: (inhales) IT IS AGAINST THE CODE TO WATCH SHOOTING BIG MACS AND EVEN BE ALIVE IN SPACE AND SIT ON THE MOON AND BE NAMED SOL!!

Sol: You'll have to blame my mother for that one. (Summons mother)

Sol's mom: YOU HURT MY SOLY-WOLY! YOU MUST PAY! (Throws giant moon boulder on top of Hollyleaf)

Hollyleaf: (Pushes off boulder) Haha! There's low gravity here! And it is against the warrior code to call your son Soly-Woly! (Eats Sol's mother)

Sol: DIE! (Lights Hollyleaf on fire)

Hollyleaf: (Fire goes out) Haha! There's no oxygen on the moon because it is against the warrior code!

Sol: I don’t live by the warrior code! Now, DIE AGAIN! (flexes hard, and makes an eclipse)

Hollyleaf: What can that do, I can’t see-(is blinded by the light)-aaAAAARRGGGGHH!!

Sol: SET MY MOTHER FREE FROM THE DEPTHS OF YOUR INTESTINES! (stuffs magical yarrow down Hollyleaf’s throat)

Hollyleaf: (vomits out Sol’s mother)

Sol’s Mother: Why, thank you, Soly-Woly!

Hollyleaf: THAT WAS NOT IN THE WARRIOR CODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR......

(Hollyleaf summons Jupiter for a planetary collision)

Sol: GAAAAAAHHHH!!!! Quick, mom, call Darth Firestar!

Sol's mother: Okay!

Phone: *Beep...beep...beep...beep...beep... Darth Firestar is not home right now. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!

Sol’s Mother: HELP MY SON AND I ARE IN GRAVE DANGER FROM THIS MANLET HEELLLPP! (ends message)

Sol: Nice.

Hollyleaf: YOU CALL ME A MANLET?! You die today, Sol. (vomits in Sol’s face) DROWN IN MY BILE!

Sol: (screams)

Sol’s mother: (yowls at the top of her lungs after inhaling all the oxygen-less air of the galaxy) HELP US DARTH FIRESTAR!!!!!

Darth Firestar: I am here. Now, where is this manlet that you need me to eliminate? (Sees Hollyleaf) GAAAAHH! Psychopath murderer! Help!

Emperor Bananaface: (Points at Hollyleaf) DIE!

Hollyleaf: You are not from the actual warriors series! DROWN IN MY BILE, YOU FOOL!

Emperor Bananaface: HACK! GURGLE! (Dies)

Darth Firestar: GAAAAAHHHHH! (Runs away)

Sol: No...NO! Emperor Bananaface!

Hollyleaf: Heh. watch out for the planetary collision.

(Jupiter is plummeting towards them at rapid, off-the-charts speeds)

Sol’s mother: (frantically fiddles with phone) PALPATINE, COME PLEASE! COME QUICKER THAN THE FLASH!

Hollyleaf: HEY! That’s against the code!

Jupiter: I'm not getting paid enough to be in this battle. (Starts flying away) Come on, Neptune, let's get a Big Mac.

Hollyleaf: NO! It is against the warrior code to do that!

Emperor Bananaface: I don't care about the warrior code! I follow the code of the pickles! Now die! (Shoots pickles at Hollyleaf)

Hollyleaf: Pickles are against the warrior code! And when did you come back to life?

Pickles: We're sorry, Hollyleaf. We will never do it again. (Stops existing)

Hollyleaf: NOT EXISTING IS AGAINST THE WARRIOR CODE!!! >:O

Sol: (sigh) Manlet...everything is against the warrior code at this rate. (throws a hot potato to Hollyleaf)

Hollyleaf: ?

(Hot potato explodes in her face)

Announcer Cat: Ohoho, looks like we have a winner! Sol, here’s a chicken dinner!

The End!

Squirrelflight v. Ashfur

Battlegrounds: Inside a black hole

Squirrelflight: Why am I here again?

Bananaface: Because someone wants to see you

Squirrelflight: Who?

Ashfur: (Jumps up and mauls Bananaface) Me! And it's time for you and all that you love to die!

Squirrelflight: Um, do I know you?

Ashfur: YES, fluff brain! How do you not recognize my lushous locks? (strokes his blonde hair)

Squirrelflight: Oh, it’s you. Don’t you think killing me and everyone I love is kinda overdoing it?

Ashfur: OverDOING it?!

Squirrelflight: We dated for, like, four weeks...

Ashfur: (prepares cannons)

Squirrelflight: Um... help?

Darth Firestar: Nope. Last time I answered a call for help, my boss died. (Sees Bananaface) NUUUUU!! Don't worry, we'll get you out of here. (Loads Bananaface into cannons and fires)

Bananaface: (Gets sucked back into black hole)

Darth Firestar: Oopsie. I'm coming! (Jumps into black hole)

Ashfur: DIE! (Wraps lushous locks around Squirrelflight and slams her into the ground) Wahahahahahahaha!

Squirrelflight: Hfflp mhhue, Braumblfclahw!

Ashfur: I’m sorry, I don’t understand Gibberish.

Brambleclaw: SUPERMAN IS HERE! (uses Mega Punch on Ashfur)

Squirrelflight: Yay! My hero!

Ashfur: (begins to wrap lushous locks around Brambleclaw) THIS IS OUR FIGHT!

(Lushous locks slam Brambleclaw into Squirrelflight than they fling him into the black hole)

Squirrelflight: SAVE ME!

Brambleclaw: AHHHHHH! (Turns into Superman and tries to fly away from black hole)

Ashfur: (Wraps lushous locks around Squirrelflight again) Die! (Slams Squirrelflight into ground)

Ashfur: (15 hours later, still slamming Squirrelflight into ground) DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!

Squirrelflight: Fine! I admit - I’M IMMORTAL!

Ashfur: (surprised Pikachu) What?!

Squirrelflight: That’s right, wussy. (grabs randomly floating lightsaber and slices Ashfur’s lushous locks and floats away)

Ashfur: NOOOOO!!! MY LUSHOUS LOCKS!!

Squirrelflight: (silently moves away)

Ashfur: You shall die!

Lushous locks: (Come to life) WE WILL DESTROY YOU! (Moves towards Squirrelflight)

Ashfur: YES! My lushous locks! Do my bidding and I will offer you power, right before luring you into a fire! Wait, did I just say that out loud?

Lushous locks: (Turn towards Ashfur)

Ashfur: Just kidding!

Lushous locks: You shall both suffer the pain of a thousand deaths by our power.

Ashfur: NO! I beg you for mercy!

Lushous locks: Mercy? (laughs) That is not what you gave us. You will pay.

Ashfur: HOW?!

Squirrelflight: (watches silently, munching magical popcorn)

Lushous locks: You must both quit being warrior cats and go to become... ACCOUNTANTS!

Ashfur: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! PLEASE, PLEASE! HAVE MERCY!

Lushous lock: No mercy for anyone. (Teleports Ashfur)

Ashfur: (At a desk in a random office building) NUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! (Dies)

Announcer Cat: It looks like Squirrelflight wins! Here's your prize: A years supply of Tootsie Rolls!

The End

Daisy v. Bananaface

Battlegrounds: Denny’s

Counter lady: Welcome to Denny’s! How may I help you?

Bananaface: (thinking) Wait...that’s...Berrynose’s MOTHER!

Daisy: I force you to give me unlimited panca-

Bananaface: (throws magical bananas at Daisy’s face) You created him, didn’t you?

Daisy: (noms bananas) I’m not sure I know what you mean.

Bananaface: You spawned that foul creature that calls himself... BERRYNOSE! Do you know what he did to me?!

Daisy: (Through mouthful of bananas) What?

Bananaface: He mauled me, that's what! All because I bit off his nose! I think that he overreacted, so you shall pay for him as I can't find him anywhere! DIE! (summons an army of evil bananas). Charge! Kill the mother of that traitorous scum!

Bananas: Your vocabulary is way too large for us. We cannot carry out your orders.

Bananaface: YOU'RE FIRED! GET OUT OF HERE!

Bananas: You have no right to speak to us that way, mister.

Bananaface: You mean, MASTER.

Bananas: We were not fired. We quit. (leaves Denny’s)

Counter lady: ...welcome to Denny’s?

Daisy: (grows buff arms, and charges at Bananaface)

Bananaface: Ack! (Hides behind counter) I summon the great bugs bunny robot!

(Giant bugs bunny rises from ground in the middle of the floor)

Bugs bunny robot: Eh, what's up, doc?

Bananaface: Destroy Daisy!

Bugs bunny robot: Yes, master. (Starts trampling flowers)

Bananaface: NO! Not those daisies! THAT Daisy! (points at Daisy)

Daisy: (headbutts counter, sending Counter Lady and Bananaface flying)

Bananaface: (flies into garbage can)

Daisy: And now...for my special attack. Reproduction! (magically makes thousands of kittens) SUFFOCATE IN MY MULTIPLE BERRYNOSE’S! And this time their father isn’t Spiderleg :)

Thousands of Berrynoses: (half attack Bugs bunny robot, half attack Bananaface)

Bugs bunny robot: (Collapses) Eh, what's up doc... (Deactivates)

Meanwhile...

Bananaface: There is only one way to defeat Berrynose...

Berrynoses: We will eat ALL the berries!

Bananaface: (Rips up tree) DIE!

Berrynoses: (disinegrates)

Bananaface: FINALLY! Now, off to-

Daisy: You...killed...my sons?!

Bananaface: Yup! You should be thankful.

Daisy: (grows even more buff arms, and grabs Bananaface)

Bananaface: ACK!

Daisy: YOU WILL DIE!!!!

Bananaface: I haven't done my special move yet! (Turns into a banana, starts sliding away) HAHA! SO LONG, SUCKER!

Daisy: GRRRARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH! (Reincarnates all of the Berrynoses, fuses them together into a giant Berrynose, and throws them) TRY ESCAPING FROM THIS!

Bananaface: WHA- (Giant Berrynose lands on head)

Giant Berrynose: (smooshes Bananaface)

Announcer Cat: 0-0 Looks like Daisy and her many sons wins! And...you alright there, Bananaface?

Bananaface: my...guts...

Announcer: Oh dear...uh, before this gets too gruesome, this battle is OVER!

The End! :D

Garfield v. Brackenfur

Battlegrounds: A sticky rice manufacturing factory! (Don't ask)

Garfield: (Eating sticky rice) Yum.

(Brackenfur gangnums in)

Brackenfur: You are eating my sticky rice! This means WAR!

Garfield: (Ignores Brackenfur and continues eating) Wha?

Brackenfur: (Throws sticky rice at Garfield) Take this!

Garfield: (noms sticky rice) It may not be lasagna or a Big Mac, but it’s pretty good!

Brackenfur: DO YOU EVEN SEE ME RIGHT NOW?!

Garfield: (continues eating) What? Is that cardboard cutout actually talking? How odd!

Brackenfur: FINE! I use...the Grand Papercut! (charges are Garfield, knocking the sticky rice out of his paws)

Garfield: He-OW! (holds up bleeding paw) The cardboard have me a papercut! :(

Brackenfur: (Gangnums) Wahahahahaha! I am the BEST!

Garfield: I'm hungry and I'm bored of sticky rice! I want some lasagna!

Brackenfur: Well, too bad, because you're not getting anythi- (Giant lasagna lands on head) GAAAAAAHHH!

Garfield: Mmm.. nom nom… tasty... (Lasagna is gone) Wait, I didn't know I ordered a cardboard cutout with this lasagna!

Brackenfur: I'M NOT A CARDBOARD CUTOUT!!!

Garfield: (slaps Brackenfur) Let alone screaming cardboard cutout of my least favorite character.

Brackenfur: D:

Garfield: (summons the Great Lasagna) Spirits....are you with us tonight?

Great Lasagna: You got that right.

Garfield: Spirits, I have called you here to assist me with this cardboard cutout.

Great Lasagna: What assistance is required?

Garfield: Get rid of him.

Brackenfur: NOOOOO!!!! I WILL NEVER DIE! (Multiplies into 20 cardboard cutouts)

Great Lasagna: (Gives Garfield lasagna) This... is the lasagna of power. It will give you the power to defeat the cardboard cutout.

Garfield: Om nom nom nom… narf… chomp chomp… This is tasty!

Brackenfur: (multiplies into fifty cardboard cutouts)

Garfield: (cue dramatic music as Garfield gets up on his hind legs and T-poses)

Brackenfur: NOT THE T-POSE! (screams and covers eyes)

Garfield: Yes...be blinded by my power. (starts levitating slowly in circles)

Brackenfur: (slams head into wall, and continues multiplying)

Garfield: (Continues levitating in circles) You shall fall before the awesome power of the T-pose!

Brackenfur: NOOOOOOOO!!!! SAVE ME, CARDBOARD CUTOUT GODS!

Cardboard gods: No, this is your trial to face alone. (Disappears)

Brackenfur: (Hides under pile of sticky rice)

Garfield: You are no match for me! (Brackenfur clones disintegrate)

Brackenfur: (swims in sticky rice, desperately trying to get away)

Garfield: (levitating circles speed up) You can run, but you can’t hide...

Brackenfur: (takes tiny bite of sticky rice)

Garfield: (levitating circles continue speeding up) I sense my rice has been nommed...

Brackenfur: (secretly takes out phone) Darth Firestar! I require your help! PLEASE!

Darth Firestar: What is the situation... oh, no.

Garfield: What is this?

Darth Firestar: Um... (Takes out phone) EMPEROR BANANAFACE, HELP! WE HAVE A CODE RED!

Emperor Bananaface: (Appears) NOOOOOOO!!! NOT A T-POSE! (Eats banana and starts T-posing)

Announcer Cat: It's a... T-POSE BATTLE!

Garfield: NO one can defeat me in the battle of the T-pose. (starts levitating in circles in a t-pose at 500 mph)

Emperor Bananaface: (does the same, yet at 700 mph)

Announcer Cat: WOAH! These speeds are off the charts!

Brackenfur: (screams as ears pop) NOOOOO!!

Garfield: (speeds up to 800 mph)

Emperor Bananaface: (Speeds up to 1000 mph) I MUST WIN!

Garfield: NEVER! (Speeds up to 1200 mph)

Brackenfur: GAAAAAHHH! (Sound barrier brakes, blasting sticky rice everywhere)

Emperor Bananaface: YAAAAARRGGGGHHHH!! (Speeds up to 1500 mph) Help me, Darth Firestar!

Garfield: (Speeds up to speed of light)

Everyone: (ears explode)

Brackenfur: Hello? Hello? I can’t hear anything.

Garfield: (still circling at the speed of light in the t-pose) Loooookkkkkk iiiiinnnnn thhheeee miiiirrrrooooorrrrrr

Brackenfur: (looks in mirror)

(The Wild Brackenfur fainted!)

Darth Firestar: *gasp* I must avenge Brackenfur the cardboard cutout! (T-Poses and circles at 60000 mph)

Garfield: I WILL WIN! (Spins so fast that he creates a black hole)

Darth Firestar and Emperor Bananaface: NOOOOO!!!! NOT AGAIN! (Gets sucked into black hole)

Announcer cat: (Yelling over noise) IT LOOKS LIKE GARFIELD WINS! YOU GET A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF LASAGNA!

The End! :)

Cloudtail v. Snowfur

Battlegrounds: Thunderpath

Cloudtail: (walking alongside Thunderpath, holding a map) Hm...where is that McDonald’s? I really can’t find it!

Snowfur: (suddenly rises up) I’ve got a special delivery from you. I work at McDonald’s.

Cloudtail: Really? Thanks! What is it?

Snowfur: ...a knuckle sandwich. (punches Cloudtail in the face)

Cloudtail: (drops map, and falls to knees, covering face with hands) OW! What was that for?!

Snowfur: I am supposed to be the only white cat that walks on Thunderpaths, but you are a white cat walking on the Thunderpath as well, so you must die.

Cloudtail: Hey, that's not nice. All I want is a Big Mac!

Random McDonalds Worker: (Hands Big Mac to Cloudtail) Here you go- (sees Snowfur) YOU!!!

Snowfur: Me?

McDonalds Worker: SO YOU'RE THE ONE WHO IS KILLING ALL OF OUT CUSTOMERS! YOU MUST DIE! (Summons Ronald McDonald)

Ronald McDonald: ‘Sup.

McDonalds Worker: This lady-(points at Snowfur)-has been murdering all our customers!!

Snowfur: That’s, uh...that’s a lie!

Cloudtail: ‘Tis NOT! I’ve seen it with my own two eyes!

Ronald McDonald: (inhales) Release the beast.

(Ronald McDonald turns into a giant mutant alligator)

Ronald the alligator: GRRRRRAAAARRRRRRR!!!! (Grabs Snowfur and throws her across the Thunderpath)

Snowfur: ACK! Save me, monsters! (A monster comes) I'm saved!

Ronald the alligator: *SNARL* GRAAAAAAH! (Grabs monster and rips it in half, sending twolegs everywhere)

Snowfur: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (Throws pickles)

Ronald the alligator : (noms pickles) Pickles are against the law! You’ll go to jail for that! (grabs Snowfur and tosses her into a jail cell)

Cloudtail: Now eat her!

Ronald the alligator: (lunges at Snowfur)

Snowfur: AAAA!! (grabs Cloudtail and uses his amazing floof as a shield)

Ronald the alligator: (bites Cloudtail’s amazing floof)

Cloudtail: ARRRRGGGHHH!!! MY AMAZING FLOOF!

Snowfur: HA! In your face!

Cloudtail: I can fluff my amazing floof up to 10000 times it's normal size!

Snowfur: Wait, wha- (Cloudtail's floof fluffs up to 10000 times it's normal size)

(Amazing floof floods world and makes Ronald the Alligator explode from the floof in his stomach)

Cloudtail: YES! You must ALL suffocate in my floof! Except Brightheart :)

Snowfur: (chokes on floof)

Cloudtail: AHA! I am WINNING!

Snowfur: Haven’t you been reading? There is ALWAYS a twist! (twists Cloudtail’s tail)

Cloudtail: (unleashes skunk musk)

Snowfur: *sniff sniff* GAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!! THAT IS DISGUSTING! (Blows fan back towards Cloudtail)

(Skunk musk disintegrates fan)

Snowfur: Gaaaah! Save me, monsters! Blow away the musk!

(Monster comes and explodes into a million pieces once it hits the musk)

Snowfur: NOOOOOO!!!! (Thunderpath start melting)

McDonalds Worker: The one thing that can defeat the musk!! (throws tomatoes at Cloudtail)

Cloudtail: (gasps) NOOO!! My weakness!!! (starts melting as well)

Snowfur: Thanks, McDonalds worker!

McDonalds Worker: And I still have to deal with you. I must take away. All your chicken nuggets.

Snowfur: No, not the chicken nuggets! You’ve crossed the line. Nuke ’em!!

Darth Firestar: Fleet of Bombers for the Protection of Chicken Nuggets is ready. Fire bomb! (Drops nuke)

McDonalds Worker: *gasp* (Takes out sniper rifle) DIE! (Shoots pickle out of sniper rifle)

(Pickle hits nukes and blows it up, destroying half the fleet)

Darth Firestar: Pull back!

McDonalds Worker: WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Shoots another plane out of the sky)

Darth Firestar: RETREAAAATTTT!!

Fleet: Already?!

Darth Firestar: I’M NOT LOSIN’ YOU TOO! RIP EMPEROR BANANAFACE!

Emperor Bananaface: I’m right here.

Snowfur: What is even happening right now?

Cloudtail: Let’s just...continue. (drops a nuke on Snowfur’s head)

Snowfur: (Freezes time) Wait a second, weren't you supposed to be melted?

Darth Firestar: (From sky) I reformed him again!

(Time unfreezes, Snowfur blows up)

Snowfur: NOOOOOOOO! (Dies)

McDonalds Worker: YAAARRRGGGHHH! (Shoots down another plane)(Thunderpath melts, McDonalds worker looks down) Uh Oh... (Sinks into Thunderpath)

Announcer Cat: Cloudtail wins! You get 1000 pounds of nachos!

Lionblaze v. Breezepelt

Battlegrounds: The bottom of the ocean

Breezepelt: I'm just hanging out... at the bottom of the ocean... totally not planning anything evil...

Lionblaze: It's you! The cat who was totally evil and almost destroyed the clans!

Breezepelt: What are you even doing at the bottom of the ocean anyway?

Lionblaze: I have a water aerobics class with my friend, Ollie the Octopus. What are YOU doing here?

Breezepelt: Eating fish.

Lionblaze: Hm...I’m starting to think we’re part RiverClan somehow. CHECK CROWFEATHER’S HISTORY!!

Breezepelt: There is NO way.

Lionblaze: Okay...oh, I just remembered! I hate you! :D GRRRRAAARRGGHH! (barrels into Breezepelt) YOU STOLE MY HEATHERTAIL!!

Breezepelt: GAH! (slaps Lionblaze with a Humuhumunukunukuapua’a) How are you so buff?!

Lionblaze: I FLEX!

Ollie the octopus: Lionblaze, you're late for the class... Oh, dear. (Starts backing away)

(They back away from each other)

Ollie the octopus: Lionblaze, you are no longer allowed in the water aerobics class!

Lionblaze: NOOOOOOOO!!!! Grrrrr… (Flexes hard)

(a whale lands on Breezepelt)

Breezepelt: gAcK! Save the Humuhumunukunukuapua’as! (throws Humumunukunukuapua’a away from him)

Lionblaze: So...I win? There’s no way he survived that.

Breezepelt: (flexes underneath whale, thrusting it upward and holds it above head)

Lionblaze: HEY! You stole my move!

Breezepelt: (throws whale at Lionblaze)

Lionblaze: (Dodges whale) HA! (Flexes and picks up whale)

Breezepelt: Luckily, the whale has friends! (Flexes even harder)

Lionblaze: Haha! Nothing happe- (3 more whales land on Lionblaze's head)

Breezepelt: (cautiously moves toward pile of whales)

Lionblaze: (From under whales) Darth Firestar, save me!

Darth Firestar: (floats down slowly in circles, in the form of a T-pose) I will save someone at last! I must!

Breezepelt: (feeds Whale 1 a magic bean)

Whale 1: (grows ten times larger)

Lionblaze: (chokes) ACK! Darth! Firestar!

Darth Firestar: (lands on top of the whales) I’ll save you! Wherever you are...

Lionblaze: I'm under these whales!

Darth Firestar: I'm coming to do something useful at last!

Breezepelt: Oh, no you don't. (Flexes and makes a whale land on Darth Firestar)

Darth Firestar: (Squeezes out from under whale) This calls for a... whale fight! (Uses force to pick up Whale 1 and throws it at Breezepelt)

Breezepelt: (Summons whale to block it) I WILL WIN! (Throws whale)

Darth Firestar: (flexes, and catches the whale) NO, Lionblaze and I will! (throws whale)

Breezepelt: (throws it back)

Lionblaze: Ooh...ping pong! And I can’t breathe under here!

Darth Firestar: That just won’t do! (uses the Force to pick the whales off of Lionblaze)

Lionblaze: Finally! Now...(flexes as hard as he can at Breezepelt)

(Whales all float around Lionblaze before flying towards Breezepelt)

Breezepelt: Ahhhh! (Dives to the side)

(Whales hit humuhumunukunukuapua'as)

Breezepelt: ALL RIGHT! NOW YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR! (Flexes even harder)

(Whales go flying back)

Breezepelt: (sniffs) My humuhumunukunukuapua’as...

Lionblaze: (runs from whales) DARRRRTTTHHH FIRESTAAAAARRRRR!!!!

Darth Firestar: (shields Lionblaze, and is hit by the whales, and dramatically falls to ground) I...am...dead. (random black hole appears, sucking him inside)

Lionblaze: ._. Not again.

Breezepelt: (holding funeral for humuhumunukunukuapua’as)

Lionblaze: (runs over to Breezepelt and punches him, then pulls out phone and yells into it) Jayfeather! I know you’re blind, but you HAVE to see this!!

Jayfeather: (Appears) What?

Breezepelt: Great spirits from beyond the grave, answer my call. Avenge yourselves!

(Humuhumunukunukuapua’a ghosts rise out of the ground)

Humuhumunukunukuapua’as: WE MUST AVENGE OURSELVES! WE MUST DESTROY LIONBLAZE! DIE!

(Humuhumunukunukuapua’as lift up whale and throws it at Lionblaze)

Lionblaze: My...strength...gone...(faints as the whale slams into him)

Breezepelt: Thank you for your assistance, Great Spirits. I am sorry I could not protect you.

Jayfeather: That’s not the Breezepelt I know.

Breezepelt: It IS! (slaps Jayfeather)

Announcer Cat : Breezepelt wins, with the power of the Humuhumunukunukuapua’as! Yet, how DARE he slap the great Jayfeather!

The End! :)

Sorreltail v. Darkstripe

Battlegrounds: The medicine den

Sorreltail: It’s hot in here.

Darkstripe: (walks in) Because I’m in here.

Sorreltail: (looks up) GAH! And NO, you definitely are NOT hot! Cardboard is!

Darkstripe: Whatever. Anyways-I’ve got candy. (holds out red Skittles)

Sorreltail: DEATHBERRIES! You can’t fool me this time!

Darkstripe: (Eats skittles) Yes, I can. (Presses button)

(Medicine cat den sinks into the ground)

Firestar: (From outside, sees medicine den sinking into the ground) ?

(Medicine den stops)

Darth Firestar: Welcome to the domain of the Emperor Bananaface. Follow me so I can give you an exclusive tour... of our POLITICAL SYSTEM!

Darkstripe: Yes, sir! Follow, Sorreltail...

Sorreltail: (slaps Darth Firestar and punches Darkstripe) NO!

Darth Firestar: Did you just...

Darkstripe: Oh, no.

Darth Firestar: SLAP me?!

Darkstripe: RUN!

Darth Firestar: I call upon the full power of the dark side for revenge! (Cavern starts collapsing)

(Darkstripe and Sorreltail run into the medicine den)

Darth Firestar: You will never escape from me! I will hunt you down until the end of time!

(Darkstripe presses button in medicine den)

(Medicine den rises back up)

Firestar: (still watching from outside) Am I hallucinating?

Sorreltail: ...what just happened?

Darkstripe: You slapped Darth Firestar and punched me. You will pay.

Sorreltail: But I’m broke!

Darkstripe: NO, that’s not what I mean! I mean pay as in...I’ll throw a nuke at your face or something.

Sorreltail: OK! (Throws nuke at Darkstripe)

Darkstripe: AHHHH! (Takes out ping pong paddle and hits the nuke back)

Sorreltail: PING! (Hits nuke back)

Darkstripe: PONG! (Slams nuke)

(Darth Firestar rises up from ground)

Sorreltail: GAH! (hits nuke to Darth Firestar) YEET!

Darth Firestar: OOF! (falls backward, clutching the nuke) What is this thing?

Darkstripe: It’s...a...pencil! (whispers to Sorreltail) RUN!! (runs out of medicine den)

Sorreltail: WAIT FOR ME!! (runs after Darkstripe)

Darth Firestar: Why are you run-(nuke explodes)

(Medicine den collapses outward)

Firestar: (Pinches himself)

Darkstripe: (To Sorreltail) And this, is an actual pencil. Also, I just remembered that we were supposed to be fighting. (Draws Emperor Bananaface with pencil) Emperor Bananaface, destroy her!

Paper Emperor Bananaface: (Gives Sorreltail paper cut) Haha!

Sorreltail: OW! (Throws chicken nuggets at Darkstripe)

Darkstripe: Are they from McDonald’s?

Sorreltail: No, Wendy’s.

Darkstripe: (screams) EW!!! They are CONTAMINATED! (runs around camp, yelling)

Firestar: I need to go to the doctor.

Paper Emperor Bananaface: (gives Firestar papercut) Actually, now you do!

Darkstripe: GET THE CHICKEN NUGGETS AWAY FROM ME!!!!

Darth Firestar from another dimension: (Comes out of interdimensional portal) You throw away perfectly good chicken nuggets? You are unwise to challenge me like that!

(Chicken nuggets hit Darth Firestar)

Darth Firestar from another dimension: NOOOOOOO!!!!! WENDY'S CHICKEN NUGGETS! (Melts)

Firestar: I need to call my therapist. (Takes out phone and goes into leader den)

Paper Emperor Bananaface: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Runs around giving random cats paper cuts)

(screams fill the air)

Darkstripe: 0-0 Let’s take this outside.

Sorreltail: Agreed.

(Sorreltail and Darkstripe casually go outside of camp)

Darkstripe: (turns around and punches Sorreltail)

Sorreltail: (Bites Darkstripe)

Darkstripe: OW! I need more power! (Eats chicken nuggets)

Sorreltail: HA! I replaced your McDonalds chicken nuggets with Wendy's!

Darkstripe: NOOOOOOOO! (Starts choking)

Sorreltail: That‘s right, you wussy.

Darkstripe: Tigerstar...AVENGE ME...(dies)

Announcer Cat: Aaaaaaand there’s a win for Sorreltail! I wonder if Tigerstar WILL avenge him...but that’s a story for another time!

The End! :)

Rock v. Yellowfang

Battlegrounds: Underground cavern which Rock never moves from!

Rock: (Playing Solitaire) I hate my life, all I ever do is make prophecies, yell at Jayfeather, and play Solitaire.

Yellowfang: (Poofs into existence) Did I hear the name Jayfeather?

Rock: ...

Yellowfang: Well, did I?

Rock: ...

Yellowfang: HEY! (slaps Rock) Wake up, you naked old man!

Rock: I’M NO NAKED OLD MAN! (throws Solitaire onto the ground) I’M A NAKED OLD CAT!! AND YES, I DID SAY JAYFEATHER, YOU STALKER!

Yellowfang: STOP YELLING! IT HURTS MY EARS! NOW, IF YOU SAID JAYFEATHER, HE MUST BE AROUND HERE! WHERE IS HE?!

Rock: I DON’T KNOW! HE’S NOT HERE! (slaps Yellowfang)

Yellowfang: (slaps Rock back) YOU DARE CHALLENGE ME, NAKED OLD MAN?

Rock: YES, I DO CHALLENGE YOU! (Starts glowing)

Yellowfang: ?

Rock: I make a prophecy...

A Rock will destroy yellow fangs in the cave.

Yellowfang: You fool! Your prophecy isn't NEARLY vague enough!

Rock: Fine. I’d like to see you try!

Yellowfang: Okay. (Starts glowing) In the darkness, the stalker shall crush the stone with golden teeth.

Rock: That’s TERRIBLE! Also, you got it wrong. It has to do with the rock destroying the yellow fangs! Watch this! (glows brighter)

Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit-

Yellowfang: That’s even worse, naked old man!

Rock: Oh, yeah? (Glows even more)

The chicken nuggets will be eaten by Darth Firestar-

Yellowfang: Don't say his name! (Glances around nervously) You might call him...

Darth Firestar: (Appears) Wassup!

Yellowfang: NOOOOOO!!! Now look what you've done! We now need to make a vague prophecy to get rid of him!

Rock: Leave it to me! (Glows so bright that he blinds Yellowfang and Darth Firestar)

The rock and the stinky breath shall join forces and destroy the Darth Firestar.

Rock: No one will ever figure out what that means.

Yellowfang: I CAN’T SEE! And first of all, that’s not vague enough! Second, I would NEVER join forces with you! Third, I DON’T GAVE STINKY BREATH!!

Darth Firestar: AAAAAAA I’M BLIND!!

Announcer cat: FINISH HIM!

Yellowfang: Okee... (Glows extremely bright)

The dark fire will be destroyed by a great power while the tough thing stands by idly.

Rock: Hey, I'm not idle!

Yellowfang: (Punches Darth Firestar) Of course I'M the great power!

Darth Firestar: And I leave this cruel world...once again. (fades away)

Yellowfang: Huh. Okay, now to deal with the naked old man. (turns to Rock)

Rock: You shall NEVER defeat me!! (runs away, screaming) MOUSE DUNG, WHERE’S MY STICK?!

Yellowfang: Why do you need-

Rock: (pulls out phone and dials Fallen Leaves’s number) FALLEN LEAVES! My peasant. FETCH ME MY STICK AND BRING IT TO MEEEEEE!

Yellowfang: (Laughing) How will you defeat me with a STICK?!

Fallen Leaves: Here you are, master. (Gives Rock stick)

Rock: Thanks. (Starts prancing around waving stick)

Yellowfang: ?

Rock: (Chanting) Awesome stick, hear my call, help me destroy this loser!

Yellowfang: (mutters) This old man is on drugs.

Awesome Stick: (starts floating and slowly levitates in circles) The glory, the glory, the GLORY!

Yellowfang: ?

Awesome Stick: (suddenly speeds up and lunges at Yellowfang) THE GLORY!

Yellowfang: AGH! Get away!

Awesome Stick: (starts stabbing Yellowfang) THE GLORRRYYYYY!!

Yellowfang: AHHHHHHH!!!! I NEED TO USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK! (Concentrates really hard)

(Yellow fangs grow rocket boosters and shoot out of Yellowfang's mouth)

Rock: AHHHHH!!!! (Tries to run away but can't) I knew I needed to continue my training.

Awesome Stick: THE GLORY!! (Continues stabbing Yellowfang)

Yellowfang: TEETH! Get rid of this stick!

(rocket boosters turn around and assault Awesome Stick)

Fallen Leaves: (slowly edges away from the battlefield as Rock starts screaming) I risk my life for yours, Awesome Stick.

Rock: NOOO! STAY AWAY FROM MY STIIIIIICCCKKKK!! (jumps on rocket boosters)

Awesome Stick: Father, don’t leave me!

Yellowfang: (wipes tear) Beautiful.

(Everything moves in slow motion as the teeth fly towards rock)

Awesome Stick: (Slow-motion talking) Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Fallen Leaves: (Throws a chicken nugget into the underground river)

Teeth: Yum. (Flies into river)

Yellowfang: NO! TEETH! COME BACK AND DESTROY THIS OLD MAN!

Teeth: WOULD YOU IGNORE MCDONALD’S CHICKEN NUGGETS?? (noms chicken nuggets and chokes) NOOO, IT’S wEnDy’S!!

Yellowfang: (turns to Fallen Leaves) How DARE you!!

Rock: NO ONE TALKS TO MY PEASANT LIKE THAT!! GGRRAAARRGGH! (bites Yellowfang)

Yellowfang: OI! Get away, scaliwag! (takes out sword)

Awesome Stick: EEEK! (screams and stabs Yellowfang even more)

Yellowfang: OUCH! En Garde! (Uses sword to fight against stick)

10 hours later...

(Yellowfang and Awesome Stick still fighting when commercials play)

Darth Firestar in commercial: ...And that is how I saved a bundle on my long distance telephone service.

Announcer: Come to Wendy's... Ahhhhh!!!! (Gets chased around the screen by everyone who hates Wendy's)

(End Commercials)

Rock: Okayokayokay. I know how to defeat Yellowfang. HOLD YOUR BREATH, O MIGHTY STICK!!

Awesome Stick: (holds breath)

Rock: (takes out a match, and lights it, then blows it into Yellowfang’s face) Don’t try this at home!

Yellowfang: mY wEaKnEsS!!1!!1 (dies of smoke inhalation according to Warriors Wiki)

Announcer Cat: ...

The End! :)

Bramblestar v. Tigerheart/star

Battlegrounds: Walmart

Bramblestar: (in the video games isle) Hm...

Tigerstar: (pops around corner) HEY! Where’s the Spottedleaf’s Perfume?!

Bramblestar: (jumps) DON’T SCARE ME LIKE THAT! And I have no idea! Why do you want that?

Tigerstar: I, for one, buy things that are actually useful. (picks up video game, inspects it, and throws it on the ground) Unlike this garbage!

Bramblestar: (gasps with horror) How dare you!

Tigerstar: Well, I'm going to find the perfume.

10 minutes later...

Intercom: We have a... situation in the perfume isle.

Bramblestar: (Riding on cleaning cart rolling down the isle with a machine gun shooting perfume bottles) DIE DIE DIE!

Tigerstar: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU MONSTER?!

Bramblestar: I am destroying all the perfume, since you have destroyed...(inhales)...a copy of Animal Crossing. (continues shooting) And called it garbage.

Tigerstar: NOOO!! NOW DOVEWING WON’T LIKE ME!! (crashes into cleaning cart)

Bramblestar: (flies out of cleaning cart, into a shelf) HA! Now even more are lost!

Intercom: ...it is suggested you exit the store immediately.

Tigerstar: (sniffs) Well...now YOU smell like Spottedleaf!

Bramblestar: (Hefts machine gun) You shall die for that insult!

(A SWAT team runs around the corner between isles)

SWAT team member 1: FBI, open up!

SWAT team member 2: (Whispering) Wrong slogan.

SWAT team member 3: Surrender or die!

Tigerstar: Um. Who are these guys?

SWAT team member 3: (facepalm) Bruh.

SWAT team member 1: Can I shoot ’em?

Bramblestar: (punches SWAT team member 2) TAKE THAT!

SWAT team member 1: (takes out gun and pulls trigger)

Bramblestar: (Dodges) You look triggered.

SWAT team member 1: (Dies of bad puns)

SWAT team member 3: RETREAT! (SWAT team members 2 and 3 run away)

Tigerstar: I just remembered that I am supposed to be fighting you. (Punches Bramblestar)

Bramblestar: OUCH! (Throws a copy of Animal Crossing at Tigerstar)

Tigerstar: (flexes, blocking it) Ha! I’m too BUFF!

Bramblestar: Clearly...I’m switching tactics. (pulls out a Nintendo Switch and starts playing Super Smash Bros.)

Tigerstar: (trips) Again with the puns?! What are you gonna do with that ol’ Switch?

Bramblestar: (turns off Switch and places on ground and squats) B...B...B...

Tigerstar: ?

Bramblestar: ATTACK! (Charges at Tigerstar)

Tigerstar: (Dodges) You fool! Do you really think that you can defeat me with a Super Smash Bros. move?

Bramblestar: (Crashes into shelf of perfume, causing it to fall)

Tigerstar: THAT DOES IT! (Starts sprinting towards video game isle)

Bramblestar: NO! NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU HARM ANOTHER COPY OF ANIMAL CROSSING! (Sprints at speed of light)

Tigerstar: I wasn’t going to harm Animal Crossing! (grabs Pokémon Sword and karate chops it in half)

Brambelstar: (fangirl scream of fear) NOOO!! (breaks sound barrier and rams into Tigerstar still at the speed of light)

Tigerstar: OI! I’ve been deafened! And get away, you scum! (karate chops Bramblestar)

Bramblestar: (more fangirl screams)

Tigerstar: WHAT WAS THAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!

Bramblestar: I WILL FIGHT BACK WITH THE POWER OF VIDEO GAMES! (Attacks Tigerstar with Pokemon Sword)

Tigerstar: OUCH! You will pay for that! (Swipes at Bramblestar)

Bramblestar: (Blocks swipe with Pokemon Shield)

Tigerstar: Grrrrr... (Throws perfume bottle at Bramblestar, sending the fumes everywhere)

Bramblestar: (Chokes) You will never defeat the video games! (Gives Tigerstar paper cut with Paper Mario)

Tigerstar: OW-CHI-MAMA!

Tawnypelt: (appears) What is it?

Tigerstar: I didn’t-UUURRRGGH! (sprays even more perfume at Bramblestar)

Brambelstar: How does Firestar like this stuff?!? (staggers)

Tigerstar: TAWNYPELT! Please kill him.

Tawnypelt: (Eats Bramblestar)

Bramblestar: (From Tawnypelt's stomach) HELP!

Tigerstar: YES! YOU HAVE HELPED ME WIN!

Bramblestar: When I get out of here, I'm gonna destroy you!

Tigerstar: How?

Bramblestar: (From Tawnypelt’s stomach) I just . . . uh . . . will!

Tigerstar: Right. (Whispers in Tawnypelt‘s ear) Eat some gum!

Tawnypelt: Why?

Tigerstar: So he can’t get out!

Tawnypelt: Ooookay. (goes over to candy aisle, grabs 5 Gum, and noms)

Bramblestar: NOOOOO! The gum has got me stuck!

Tigerstar: :D

Bramblestar: GAAAAH! DIGESTIVE ACID! (Starts melting) NOOOOOOOO- (Dies)

Announcer Cat: And it looks like Tigerstar wins!

The End :)

Darth Firestar v. Graystripe

Battleground: A Mexican restaurant

Darth Firestar: (Eating nachos) These are tasty!

Graystripe: (Falls out of sky) OOOHHH! NACHOS! (Starts eating nachos)

Darth Firestar: (Force pushes Graystripe away) These are MY nachos! Go get your own!

Graystripe: HEY! (Drops ghost pepper into Darth Firestar's nachos)

Darth Firestar: (Eats pepper) GAAAAAAHH! SPICY! (Breathes fire)

Graystripe: Bad plan. (grabs fire extinguisher and sprays the white stuff into Darth Firestar’s mouth)

Darth Firestar: (chokes) HUUUAAFFF DAS GROOOSSS!!! (inflates)

Graystripe: (silently eats Darth Firestar’s nachos)

Darth Firestar: GRRT AWAY FURRUM MY NACHEEEESSS!!

Graystripe: (sprays even more white-extinguisher stuff)

Darth Firestar: *GURGLE!*

Graystripe: (Continues eating nachos)

Darth Firestar: PTOO! (spits white stuff in Graystripe's face)

Graystripe: HEY! (Throws sharp-edged nacho chip)

Darth Firestar: (Dodges and eats nacho chip)

Graystripe: HEY! That was mine!

Darth Firestar: You threw it at me!

Graystripe: WELL, it was still mine and still is! (goes up to Darth Firestar and does that thing people do to get something out of someone’s throat I have no idea at this point)

Darth Firestar: (spits out nacho)

Graystripe: (grabs nacho and eats it) It’s...soggy ._.

Darth Firestar: Of course it is! It was in my mouth!

Graystripe: (Chokes) Ptoo! Yuck, this is gross!

Darth Firestar: I use the nachosabre! (Curled nacho grows glowing blade)

Graystripe: (Takes out a different nachosabre) En Garde!

Darth Firestar: I eat the nacho of power! (Eats nacho)