Firestar v. Tigerstar (The obvious one)
Firestar: Ladedumdadum! (Walks into McDonalds)
Random kit: (Crying) Tigerstar is eating all the big macs! WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Firestar: (In heroic announcer voice) I'll stop him!
Tigerstar: (Eating Big Macs) Stop me from doing what?
Firestar: (stares at Tigerstar blankly)
Tigerstar: (slowly bites into yet another Big Mac) Nom...?
Firestar: I see how it is. It looks as I must use...the Scourge Strike.
Tigerstar: (chokes on Big Mac) WHAT?!
Scourge: (poofs at the counter of McDonald’s) My...killer attack is only to be used...in the most dire situation.
Firestar: Tigerstar is eating your personal Big Mac!
Scourge: WHAT? DIE! (Mauls Tigerstar)
Tigerstar: GAAAAAHHH! Alright this means war! I use my tiger drop!
Firestar: Wait, what? (Tiger lands on head)
Firestar: (pushes out from under tiger) Take this! (Shoots fire across the room and misses Tigerstar so it hits the Big Macs).
Everyone: (gasps) NOOOOO!!! THE BIG MACS!!
Random kit: (screeches) WAAAAAHHH!! We called you here to SAVE the sacred Macs, not KILL them!
Firestar: Oh, great! I-I’m so sorry! I’ve made a fatal mistake!
Scourge: How DARE you! The Biggest Mac shall take his revenge!
Firestar: HEY! This is supposed to be ME versus TIGERSTAR! Get outta here! (eats random magical ghost pepper and aims Flamethrower at Tigerstar)
The Biggest Mac: I am the great 100 pound Biggest Mac, and I will get revenge on the one who murders Big Macs!
Tigerstar: (Holding baby Big Mac) Isn't he cute?
Firestar: (Breathes fire on Tigerstar) Wahahahahahaha!
The Biggest Mac: You killed Baby Mac! DIE!!!!!!! (Jumps 200 yards into the air)
Firestar: Ummmm… yikes? (Biggest Mac lands on him for 1 million damage!)
Announcer cat: VICTORY! The Biggest Mac is victorious!
Hollyleaf v. Sol
Battlegrounds: The surface of the moon somehow (don’t ask)
Sol: (watches a shooting Big Mac fly across space)
Hollyleaf: (appears behind him, holding a knife. Instead, she uses Double Slap.)
Sol: OOGABOOGA! What was that for?! (rubs face)
Hollyleaf: (inhales) IT IS AGAINST THE CODE TO WATCH SHOOTING BIG MACS AND EVEN BE ALIVE IN SPACE AND SIT ON THE MOON AND BE NAMED SOL!!
Sol: You'll have to blame my mother for that one. (Summons mother)
Sol's mom: YOU HURT MY SOLY-WOLY! YOU MUST PAY! (Throws giant moon boulder on top of Hollyleaf)
Hollyleaf: (Pushes off boulder) Haha! There's low gravity here! And it is against the warrior code to call your son Soly-Woly! (Eats Sol's mother)
Sol: DIE! (Lights Hollyleaf on fire)
Hollyleaf: (Fire goes out) Haha! There's no oxygen on the moon because it is against the warrior code!
Sol: I don’t live by the warrior code! Now, DIE AGAIN! (flexes hard, and makes an eclipse)
Hollyleaf: What can that do, I can’t see-(is blinded by the light)-aaAAAARRGGGGHH!!
Sol: SET MY MOTHER FREE FROM THE DEPTHS OF YOUR INTESTINES! (stuffs magical yarrow down Hollyleaf’s throat)
Hollyleaf: (vomits out Sol’s mother)
Sol’s Mother: Why, thank you, Soly-Woly!
Hollyleaf: THAT WAS NOT IN THE WARRIOR CODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR......
(Hollyleaf summons Jupiter for a planetary collision)
Sol: GAAAAAAHHHH!!!! Quick, mom, call Darth Firestar!
Sol's mother: Okay!
Phone: *Beep...beep...beep...beep...beep... Darth Firestar is not home right now. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!
Sol’s Mother: HELP MY SON AND I ARE IN GRAVE DANGER FROM THIS MANLET HEELLLPP! (ends message)
Hollyleaf: YOU CALL ME A MANLET?! You die today, Sol. (vomits in Sol’s face) DROWN IN MY BILE!
Sol’s mother: (yowls at the top of her lungs after inhaling all the oxygen-less air of the galaxy) HELP US DARTH FIRESTAR!!!!!
Darth Firestar: I am here. Now, where is this manlet that you need me to eliminate? (Sees Hollyleaf) GAAAAHH! Psychopath murderer! Help!
Emperor Bananaface: (Points at Hollyleaf) DIE!
Hollyleaf: You are not from the actual warriors series! DROWN IN MY BILE, YOU FOOL!
Emperor Bananaface: HACK! GURGLE! (Dies)
Darth Firestar: GAAAAAHHHHH! (Runs away)
Sol: No...NO! Emperor Bananaface!
Hollyleaf: Heh. watch out for the planetary collision.
(Jupiter is plummeting towards them at rapid, off-the-charts speeds)
Sol’s mother: (frantically fiddles with phone) PALPATINE, COME PLEASE! COME QUICKER THAN THE FLASH!
Hollyleaf: HEY! That’s against the code!
Jupiter: I'm not getting paid enough to be in this battle. (Starts flying away) Come on, Neptune, let's get a Big Mac.
Hollyleaf: NO! It is against the warrior code to do that!
Emperor Bananaface: I don't care about the warrior code! I follow the code of the pickles! Now die! (Shoots pickles at Hollyleaf)
Hollyleaf: Pickles are against the warrior code! And when did you come back to life?
Pickles: We're sorry, Hollyleaf. We will never do it again. (Stops existing)
Hollyleaf: NOT EXISTING IS AGAINST THE WARRIOR CODE!!! >:O
Sol: (sigh) Manlet...everything is against the warrior code at this rate. (throws a hot potato to Hollyleaf)
(Hot potato explodes in her face)
Announcer Cat: Ohoho, looks like we have a winner! Sol, here’s a chicken dinner!
Squirrelflight v. Ashfur
Battlegrounds: Inside a black hole
Squirrelflight: Why am I here again?
Bananaface: Because someone wants to see you
Ashfur: (Jumps up and mauls Bananaface) Me! And it's time for you and all that you love to die!
Squirrelflight: Um, do I know you?
Ashfur: YES, fluff brain! How do you not recognize my lushous locks? (strokes his blonde hair)
Squirrelflight: Oh, it’s you. Don’t you think killing me and everyone I love is kinda overdoing it?
Ashfur: OverDOING it?!
Squirrelflight: We dated for, like, four weeks...
Ashfur: (prepares cannons)
Squirrelflight: Um... help?
Darth Firestar: Nope. Last time I answered a call for help, my boss died. (Sees Bananaface) NUUUUU!! Don't worry, we'll get you out of here. (Loads Bananaface into cannons and fires)
Bananaface: (Gets sucked back into black hole)
Darth Firestar: Oopsie. I'm coming! (Jumps into black hole)
Ashfur: DIE! (Wraps lushous locks around Squirrelflight and slams her into the ground) Wahahahahahahaha!
Squirrelflight: Hfflp mhhue, Braumblfclahw!
Ashfur: I’m sorry, I don’t understand Gibberish.
Brambleclaw: SUPERMAN IS HERE! (uses Mega Punch on Ashfur)
Squirrelflight: Yay! My hero!
Ashfur: (begins to wrap lushous locks around Brambleclaw) THIS IS OUR FIGHT!
(Lushous locks slam Brambleclaw into Squirrelflight than they fling him into the black hole)
Squirrelflight: SAVE ME!
Brambleclaw: AHHHHHH! (Turns into Superman and tries to fly away from black hole)
Ashfur: (Wraps lushous locks around Squirrelflight again) Die! (Slams Squirrelflight into ground)
Ashfur: (15 hours later, still slamming Squirrelflight into ground) DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!
Squirrelflight: Fine! I admit - I’M IMMORTAL!
Ashfur: (surprised Pikachu) What?!
Squirrelflight: That’s right, wussy. (grabs randomly floating lightsaber and slices Ashfur’s lushous locks and floats away)
Ashfur: NOOOOO!!! MY LUSHOUS LOCKS!!
Squirrelflight: (silently moves away)
Ashfur: You shall die!
Lushous locks: (Come to life) WE WILL DESTROY YOU! (Moves towards Squirrelflight)
Ashfur: YES! My lushous locks! Do my bidding and I will offer you power, right before luring you into a fire! Wait, did I just say that out loud?
Lushous locks: (Turn towards Ashfur)
Ashfur: Just kidding!
Lushous locks: You shall both suffer the pain of a thousand deaths by our power.
Ashfur: NO! I beg you for mercy!
Lushous locks: Mercy? (laughs) That is not what you gave us. You will pay.
Squirrelflight: (watches silently, munching magical popcorn)
Lushous locks: You must both quit being warrior cats and go to become... ACCOUNTANTS!
Ashfur: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! PLEASE, PLEASE! HAVE MERCY!
Lushous lock: No mercy for anyone. (Teleports Ashfur)
Ashfur: (At a desk in a random office building) NUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! (Dies)
Announcer Cat: It looks like Squirrelflight wins! Here's your prize: A years supply of Tootsie Rolls!
Daisy v. Bananaface
Counter lady: Welcome to Denny’s! How may I help you?
Bananaface: (thinking) Wait...that’s...Berrynose’s MOTHER!
Daisy: I force you to give me unlimited panca-
Bananaface: (throws magical bananas at Daisy’s face) You created him, didn’t you?
Daisy: (noms bananas) I’m not sure I know what you mean.
Bananaface: You spawned that foul creature that calls himself... BERRYNOSE! Do you know what he did to me?!
Daisy: (Through mouthful of bananas) What?
Bananaface: He mauled me, that's what! All because I bit off his nose! I think that he overreacted, so you shall pay for him as I can't find him anywhere! DIE! (summons an army of evil bananas). Charge! Kill the mother of that traitorous scum!
Bananas: Your vocabulary is way too large for us. We cannot carry out your orders.
Bananaface: YOU'RE FIRED! GET OUT OF HERE!
Bananas: You have no right to speak to us that way, mister.
Bananaface: You mean, MASTER.
Bananas: We were not fired. We quit. (leaves Denny’s)
Counter lady: ...welcome to Denny’s?
Daisy: (grows buff arms, and charges at Bananaface)
Bananaface: Ack! (Hides behind counter) I summon the great bugs bunny robot!
(Giant bugs bunny rises from ground in the middle of the floor)
Bugs bunny robot: Eh, what's up, doc?
Bananaface: Destroy Daisy!
Bugs bunny robot: Yes, master. (Starts trampling flowers)
Bananaface: NO! Not those daisies! THAT Daisy! (points at Daisy)
Daisy: (headbutts counter, sending Counter Lady and Bananaface flying)
Bananaface: (flies into garbage can)
Daisy: And now...for my special attack. Reproduction! (magically makes thousands of kittens) SUFFOCATE IN MY MULTIPLE BERRYNOSE’S! And this time their father isn’t Spiderleg :)
Thousands of Berrynoses: (half attack Bugs bunny robot, half attack Bananaface)
Bugs bunny robot: (Collapses) Eh, what's up doc... (Deactivates)
Bananaface: There is only one way to defeat Berrynose...
Berrynoses: We will eat ALL the berries!
Bananaface: (Rips up tree) DIE!
Bananaface: FINALLY! Now, off to-
Daisy: You...killed...my sons?!
Bananaface: Yup! You should be thankful.
Daisy: (grows even more buff arms, and grabs Bananaface)
Daisy: YOU WILL DIE!!!!
Bananaface: I haven't done my special move yet! (Turns into a banana, starts sliding away) HAHA! SO LONG, SUCKER!
Daisy: GRRRARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH! (Reincarnates all of the Berrynoses, fuses them together into a giant Berrynose, and throws them) TRY ESCAPING FROM THIS!
Bananaface: WHA- (Giant Berrynose lands on head)
Giant Berrynose: (smooshes Bananaface)
Announcer Cat: 0-0 Looks like Daisy and her many sons wins! And...you alright there, Bananaface?
Announcer: Oh dear...uh, before this gets too gruesome, this battle is OVER!
The End! :D
Garfield v. Brackenfur
Battlegrounds: A sticky rice manufacturing factory! (Don't ask)
Garfield: (Eating sticky rice) Yum.
(Brackenfur gangnums in)
Brackenfur: You are eating my sticky rice! This means WAR!
Garfield: (Ignores Brackenfur and continues eating) Wha?
Brackenfur: (Throws sticky rice at Garfield) Take this!
Garfield: (noms sticky rice) It may not be lasagna or a Big Mac, but it’s pretty good!
Brackenfur: DO YOU EVEN SEE ME RIGHT NOW?!
Garfield: (continues eating) What? Is that cardboard cutout actually talking? How odd!
Brackenfur: FINE! I use...the Grand Papercut! (charges are Garfield, knocking the sticky rice out of his paws)
Garfield: He-OW! (holds up bleeding paw) The cardboard have me a papercut! :(
Brackenfur: (Gangnums) Wahahahahaha! I am the BEST!
Garfield: I'm hungry and I'm bored of sticky rice! I want some lasagna!
Brackenfur: Well, too bad, because you're not getting anythi- (Giant lasagna lands on head) GAAAAAAHHH!
Garfield: Mmm.. nom nom… tasty... (Lasagna is gone) Wait, I didn't know I ordered a cardboard cutout with this lasagna!
Brackenfur: I'M NOT A CARDBOARD CUTOUT!!!
Garfield: (slaps Brackenfur) Let alone screaming cardboard cutout of my least favorite character.
Garfield: (summons the Great Lasagna) Spirits....are you with us tonight?
Great Lasagna: You got that right.
Garfield: Spirits, I have called you here to assist me with this cardboard cutout.
Great Lasagna: What assistance is required?
Garfield: Get rid of him.
Brackenfur: NOOOOO!!!! I WILL NEVER DIE! (Multiplies into 20 cardboard cutouts)
Great Lasagna: (Gives Garfield lasagna) This... is the lasagna of power. It will give you the power to defeat the cardboard cutout.
Garfield: Om nom nom nom… narf… chomp chomp… This is tasty!
Brackenfur: (multiplies into fifty cardboard cutouts)
Garfield: (cue dramatic music as Garfield gets up on his hind legs and T-poses)
Brackenfur: NOT THE T-POSE! (screams and covers eyes)
Garfield: Yes...be blinded by my power. (starts levitating slowly in circles)
Brackenfur: (slams head into wall, and continues multiplying)
Garfield: (Continues levitating in circles) You shall fall before the awesome power of the T-pose!
Brackenfur: NOOOOOOOO!!!! SAVE ME, CARDBOARD CUTOUT GODS!
Cardboard gods: No, this is your trial to face alone. (Disappears)
Brackenfur: (Hides under pile of sticky rice)
Garfield: You are no match for me! (Brackenfur clones disintegrate)
Brackenfur: (swims in sticky rice, desperately trying to get away)
Garfield: (levitating circles speed up) You can run, but you can’t hide...
Brackenfur: (takes tiny bite of sticky rice)
Garfield: (levitating circles continue speeding up) I sense my rice has been nommed...
Brackenfur: (secretly takes out phone) Darth Firestar! I require your help! PLEASE!
Darth Firestar: What is the situation... oh, no.
Garfield: What is this?
Darth Firestar: Um... (Takes out phone) EMPEROR BANANAFACE, HELP! WE HAVE A CODE RED!
Emperor Bananaface: (Appears) NOOOOOOO!!! NOT A T-POSE! (Eats banana and starts T-posing)
Announcer Cat: It's a... T-POSE BATTLE!
Garfield: NO one can defeat me in the battle of the T-pose. (starts levitating in circles in a t-pose at 500 mph)
Emperor Bananaface: (does the same, yet at 700 mph)
Announcer Cat: WOAH! These speeds are off the charts!
Brackenfur: (screams as ears pop) NOOOOO!!
Garfield: (speeds up to 800 mph)
Emperor Bananaface: (Speeds up to 1000 mph) I MUST WIN!
Garfield: NEVER! (Speeds up to 1200 mph)
Brackenfur: GAAAAAHHH! (Sound barrier brakes, blasting sticky rice everywhere)
Emperor Bananaface: YAAAAARRGGGGHHHH!! (Speeds up to 1500 mph) Help me, Darth Firestar!
Garfield: (Speeds up to speed of light)
Everyone: (ears explode)
Brackenfur: Hello? Hello? I can’t hear anything.
Garfield: (still circling at the speed of light in the t-pose) Loooookkkkkk iiiiinnnnn thhheeee miiiirrrrooooorrrrrr
Brackenfur: (looks in mirror)
(The Wild Brackenfur fainted!)
Darth Firestar: *gasp* I must avenge Brackenfur the cardboard cutout! (T-Poses and circles at 60000 mph)
Garfield: I WILL WIN! (Spins so fast that he creates a black hole)
Darth Firestar and Emperor Bananaface: NOOOOO!!!! NOT AGAIN! (Gets sucked into black hole)
Announcer cat: (Yelling over noise) IT LOOKS LIKE GARFIELD WINS! YOU GET A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF LASAGNA!
The End! :)
Cloudtail v. Snowfur
Cloudtail: (walking alongside Thunderpath, holding a map) Hm...where is that McDonald’s? I really can’t find it!
Snowfur: (suddenly rises up) I’ve got a special delivery from you. I work at McDonald’s.
Cloudtail: Really? Thanks! What is it?
Snowfur: ...a knuckle sandwich. (punches Cloudtail in the face)
Cloudtail: (drops map, and falls to knees, covering face with hands) OW! What was that for?!
Snowfur: I am supposed to be the only white cat that walks on Thunderpaths, but you are a white cat walking on the Thunderpath as well, so you must die.
Cloudtail: Hey, that's not nice. All I want is a Big Mac!
Random McDonalds Worker: (Hands Big Mac to Cloudtail) Here you go- (sees Snowfur) YOU!!!
McDonalds Worker: SO YOU'RE THE ONE WHO IS KILLING ALL OF OUT CUSTOMERS! YOU MUST DIE! (Summons Ronald McDonald)
Ronald McDonald: ‘Sup.
McDonalds Worker: This lady-(points at Snowfur)-has been murdering all our customers!!
Snowfur: That’s, uh...that’s a lie!
Cloudtail: ‘Tis NOT! I’ve seen it with my own two eyes!
Ronald McDonald: (inhales) Release the beast.
(Ronald McDonald turns into a giant mutant alligator)
Ronald the alligator: GRRRRRAAAARRRRRRR!!!! (Grabs Snowfur and throws her across the Thunderpath)
Snowfur: ACK! Save me, monsters! (A monster comes) I'm saved!
Ronald the alligator: *SNARL* GRAAAAAAH! (Grabs monster and rips it in half, sending twolegs everywhere)
Snowfur: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (Throws pickles)
Ronald the alligator : (noms pickles) Pickles are against the law! You’ll go to jail for that! (grabs Snowfur and tosses her into a jail cell)
Cloudtail: Now eat her!
Ronald the alligator: (lunges at Snowfur)
Snowfur: AAAA!! (grabs Cloudtail and uses his amazing floof as a shield)
Ronald the alligator: (bites Cloudtail’s amazing floof)
Cloudtail: ARRRRGGGHHH!!! MY AMAZING FLOOF!
Snowfur: HA! In your face!
Cloudtail: I can fluff my amazing floof up to 10000 times it's normal size!
Snowfur: Wait, wha- (Cloudtail's floof fluffs up to 10000 times it's normal size)
(Amazing floof floods world and makes Ronald the Alligator explode from the floof in his stomach)
Cloudtail: YES! You must ALL suffocate in my floof! Except Brightheart :)
Snowfur: (chokes on floof)
Cloudtail: AHA! I am WINNING!
Snowfur: Haven’t you been reading? There is ALWAYS a twist! (twists Cloudtail’s tail)
Cloudtail: (unleashes skunk musk)
Snowfur: *sniff sniff* GAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!! THAT IS DISGUSTING! (Blows fan back towards Cloudtail)
(Skunk musk disintegrates fan)
Snowfur: Gaaaah! Save me, monsters! Blow away the musk!
(Monster comes and explodes into a million pieces once it hits the musk)
Snowfur: NOOOOOO!!!! (Thunderpath start melting)
McDonalds Worker: The one thing that can defeat the musk!! (throws tomatoes at Cloudtail)
Cloudtail: (gasps) NOOO!! My weakness!!! (starts melting as well)
Snowfur: Thanks, McDonalds worker!
McDonalds Worker: And I still have to deal with you. I must take away. All your chicken nuggets.
Snowfur: No, not the chicken nuggets! You’ve crossed the line. Nuke ’em!!
Darth Firestar: Fleet of Bombers for the Protection of Chicken Nuggets is ready. Fire bomb! (Drops nuke)
McDonalds Worker: *gasp* (Takes out sniper rifle) DIE! (Shoots pickle out of sniper rifle)
(Pickle hits nukes and blows it up, destroying half the fleet)
Darth Firestar: Pull back!
McDonalds Worker: WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Shoots another plane out of the sky)
Darth Firestar: RETREAAAATTTT!!
Darth Firestar: I’M NOT LOSIN’ YOU TOO! RIP EMPEROR BANANAFACE!
Emperor Bananaface: I’m right here.
Snowfur: What is even happening right now?
Cloudtail: Let’s just...continue. (drops a nuke on Snowfur’s head)
Snowfur: (Freezes time) Wait a second, weren't you supposed to be melted?
Darth Firestar: (From sky) I reformed him again!
(Time unfreezes, Snowfur blows up)
Snowfur: NOOOOOOOO! (Dies)
McDonalds Worker: YAAARRRGGGHHH! (Shoots down another plane)(Thunderpath melts, McDonalds worker looks down) Uh Oh... (Sinks into Thunderpath)
Announcer Cat: Cloudtail wins! You get 1000 pounds of nachos!
Lionblaze v. Breezepelt
Battlegrounds: The bottom of the ocean
Breezepelt: I'm just hanging out... at the bottom of the ocean... totally not planning anything evil...
Lionblaze: It's you! The cat who was totally evil and almost destroyed the clans!
Breezepelt: What are you even doing at the bottom of the ocean anyway?
Lionblaze: I have a water aerobics class with my friend, Ollie the Octopus. What are YOU doing here?
Breezepelt: Eating fish.
Lionblaze: Hm...I’m starting to think we’re part RiverClan somehow. CHECK CROWFEATHER’S HISTORY!!
Breezepelt: There is NO way.
Lionblaze: Okay...oh, I just remembered! I hate you! :D GRRRRAAARRGGHH! (barrels into Breezepelt) YOU STOLE MY HEATHERTAIL!!
Breezepelt: GAH! (slaps Lionblaze with a Humuhumunukunukuapua’a) How are you so buff?!
Lionblaze: I FLEX!
Ollie the octopus: Lionblaze, you're late for the class... Oh, dear. (Starts backing away)
(They back away from each other)
Ollie the octopus: Lionblaze, you are no longer allowed in the water aerobics class!
Lionblaze: NOOOOOOOO!!!! Grrrrr… (Flexes hard)
(a whale lands on Breezepelt)
Breezepelt: gAcK! Save the Humuhumunukunukuapua’as! (throws Humumunukunukuapua’a away from him)
Lionblaze: So...I win? There’s no way he survived that.
Breezepelt: (flexes underneath whale, thrusting it upward and holds it above head)
Lionblaze: HEY! You stole my move!
Breezepelt: (throws whale at Lionblaze)
Lionblaze: (Dodges whale) HA! (Flexes and picks up whale)
Breezepelt: Luckily, the whale has friends! (Flexes even harder)
Lionblaze: Haha! Nothing happe- (3 more whales land on Lionblaze's head)
Breezepelt: (cautiously moves toward pile of whales)
Lionblaze: (From under whales) Darth Firestar, save me!
Darth Firestar: (floats down slowly in circles, in the form of a T-pose) I will save someone at last! I must!
Breezepelt: (feeds Whale 1 a magic bean)
Whale 1: (grows ten times larger)
Lionblaze: (chokes) ACK! Darth! Firestar!
Darth Firestar: (lands on top of the whales) I’ll save you! Wherever you are...
Lionblaze: I'm under these whales!
Darth Firestar: I'm coming to do something useful at last!
Breezepelt: Oh, no you don't. (Flexes and makes a whale land on Darth Firestar)
Darth Firestar: (Squeezes out from under whale) This calls for a... whale fight! (Uses force to pick up Whale 1 and throws it at Breezepelt)
Breezepelt: (Summons whale to block it) I WILL WIN! (Throws whale)
Darth Firestar: (flexes, and catches the whale) NO, Lionblaze and I will! (throws whale)
Breezepelt: (throws it back)
Lionblaze: Ooh...ping pong! And I can’t breathe under here!
Darth Firestar: That just won’t do! (uses the Force to pick the whales off of Lionblaze)
Lionblaze: Finally! Now...(flexes as hard as he can at Breezepelt)
(Whales all float around Lionblaze before flying towards Breezepelt)
Breezepelt: Ahhhh! (Dives to the side)
(Whales hit humuhumunukunukuapua'as)
Breezepelt: ALL RIGHT! NOW YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR! (Flexes even harder)
(Whales go flying back)
Breezepelt: (sniffs) My humuhumunukunukuapua’as...
Lionblaze: (runs from whales) DARRRRTTTHHH FIRESTAAAAARRRRR!!!!
Darth Firestar: (shields Lionblaze, and is hit by the whales, and dramatically falls to ground) I...am...dead. (random black hole appears, sucking him inside)
Lionblaze: ._. Not again.
Breezepelt: (holding funeral for humuhumunukunukuapua’as)
Lionblaze: (runs over to Breezepelt and punches him, then pulls out phone and yells into it) Jayfeather! I know you’re blind, but you HAVE to see this!!
Jayfeather: (Appears) What?
Breezepelt: Great spirits from beyond the grave, answer my call. Avenge yourselves!
(Humuhumunukunukuapua’a ghosts rise out of the ground)
Humuhumunukunukuapua’as: WE MUST AVENGE OURSELVES! WE MUST DESTROY LIONBLAZE! DIE!
(Humuhumunukunukuapua’as lift up whale and throws it at Lionblaze)
Lionblaze: My...strength...gone...(faints as the whale slams into him)
Breezepelt: Thank you for your assistance, Great Spirits. I am sorry I could not protect you.
Jayfeather: That’s not the Breezepelt I know.
Breezepelt: It IS! (slaps Jayfeather)
Announcer Cat : Breezepelt wins, with the power of the Humuhumunukunukuapua’as! Yet, how DARE he slap the great Jayfeather!
The End! :)
Sorreltail v. Darkstripe
Battlegrounds: The medicine den
Sorreltail: It’s hot in here.
Darkstripe: (walks in) Because I’m in here.
Sorreltail: (looks up) GAH! And NO, you definitely are NOT hot! Cardboard is!
Darkstripe: Whatever. Anyways-I’ve got candy. (holds out red Skittles)
Sorreltail: DEATHBERRIES! You can’t fool me this time!
Darkstripe: (Eats skittles) Yes, I can. (Presses button)
(Medicine cat den sinks into the ground)
Firestar: (From outside, sees medicine den sinking into the ground) ?
(Medicine den stops)
Darth Firestar: Welcome to the domain of the Emperor Bananaface. Follow me so I can give you an exclusive tour... of our POLITICAL SYSTEM!
Darkstripe: Yes, sir! Follow, Sorreltail...
Sorreltail: (slaps Darth Firestar and punches Darkstripe) NO!
Darth Firestar: Did you just...
Darkstripe: Oh, no.
Darth Firestar: SLAP me?!
Darth Firestar: I call upon the full power of the dark side for revenge! (Cavern starts collapsing)
(Darkstripe and Sorreltail run into the medicine den)
Darth Firestar: You will never escape from me! I will hunt you down until the end of time!
(Darkstripe presses button in medicine den)
(Medicine den rises back up)
Firestar: (still watching from outside) Am I hallucinating?
Sorreltail: ...what just happened?
Darkstripe: You slapped Darth Firestar and punched me. You will pay.
Sorreltail: But I’m broke!
Darkstripe: NO, that’s not what I mean! I mean pay as in...I’ll throw a nuke at your face or something.
Sorreltail: OK! (Throws nuke at Darkstripe)
Darkstripe: AHHHH! (Takes out ping pong paddle and hits the nuke back)
Sorreltail: PING! (Hits nuke back)
Darkstripe: PONG! (Slams nuke)
(Darth Firestar rises up from ground)
Sorreltail: GAH! (hits nuke to Darth Firestar) YEET!
Darth Firestar: OOF! (falls backward, clutching the nuke) What is this thing?
Darkstripe: It’s...a...pencil! (whispers to Sorreltail) RUN!! (runs out of medicine den)
Sorreltail: WAIT FOR ME!! (runs after Darkstripe)
Darth Firestar: Why are you run-(nuke explodes)
(Medicine den collapses outward)
Firestar: (Pinches himself)
Darkstripe: (To Sorreltail) And this, is an actual pencil. Also, I just remembered that we were supposed to be fighting. (Draws Emperor Bananaface with pencil) Emperor Bananaface, destroy her!
Paper Emperor Bananaface: (Gives Sorreltail paper cut) Haha!
Sorreltail: OW! (Throws chicken nuggets at Darkstripe)
Darkstripe: Are they from McDonald’s?
Sorreltail: No, Wendy’s.
Darkstripe: (screams) EW!!! They are CONTAMINATED! (runs around camp, yelling)
Firestar: I need to go to the doctor.
Paper Emperor Bananaface: (gives Firestar papercut) Actually, now you do!
Darkstripe: GET THE CHICKEN NUGGETS AWAY FROM ME!!!!
Darth Firestar from another dimension: (Comes out of interdimensional portal) You throw away perfectly good chicken nuggets? You are unwise to challenge me like that!
(Chicken nuggets hit Darth Firestar)
Darth Firestar from another dimension: NOOOOOOO!!!!! WENDY'S CHICKEN NUGGETS! (Melts)
Firestar: I need to call my therapist. (Takes out phone and goes into leader den)
Paper Emperor Bananaface: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Runs around giving random cats paper cuts)
(screams fill the air)
Darkstripe: 0-0 Let’s take this outside.
(Sorreltail and Darkstripe casually go outside of camp)
Darkstripe: (turns around and punches Sorreltail)
Sorreltail: (Bites Darkstripe)
Darkstripe: OW! I need more power! (Eats chicken nuggets)
Sorreltail: HA! I replaced your McDonalds chicken nuggets with Wendy's!
Darkstripe: NOOOOOOOO! (Starts choking)
Sorreltail: That‘s right, you wussy.
Darkstripe: Tigerstar...AVENGE ME...(dies)
Announcer Cat: Aaaaaaand there’s a win for Sorreltail! I wonder if Tigerstar WILL avenge him...but that’s a story for another time!
The End! :)
Rock v. Yellowfang
Battlegrounds: Underground cavern which Rock never moves from!
Rock: (Playing Solitaire) I hate my life, all I ever do is make prophecies, yell at Jayfeather, and play Solitaire.
Yellowfang: (Poofs into existence) Did I hear the name Jayfeather?
Yellowfang: Well, did I?
Yellowfang: HEY! (slaps Rock) Wake up, you naked old man!
Rock: I’M NO NAKED OLD MAN! (throws Solitaire onto the ground) I’M A NAKED OLD CAT!! AND YES, I DID SAY JAYFEATHER, YOU STALKER!
Yellowfang: STOP YELLING! IT HURTS MY EARS! NOW, IF YOU SAID JAYFEATHER, HE MUST BE AROUND HERE! WHERE IS HE?!
Rock: I DON’T KNOW! HE’S NOT HERE! (slaps Yellowfang)
Yellowfang: (slaps Rock back) YOU DARE CHALLENGE ME, NAKED OLD MAN?
Rock: YES, I DO CHALLENGE YOU! (Starts glowing)
Rock: I make a prophecy...
A Rock will destroy yellow fangs in the cave.
Yellowfang: You fool! Your prophecy isn't NEARLY vague enough!
Rock: Fine. I’d like to see you try!
Yellowfang: Okay. (Starts glowing) In the darkness, the stalker shall crush the stone with golden teeth.
Rock: That’s TERRIBLE! Also, you got it wrong. It has to do with the rock destroying the yellow fangs! Watch this! (glows brighter)
Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit-
Yellowfang: That’s even worse, naked old man!
Rock: Oh, yeah? (Glows even more)
The chicken nuggets will be eaten by Darth Firestar-
Yellowfang: Don't say his name! (Glances around nervously) You might call him...
Darth Firestar: (Appears) Wassup!
Yellowfang: NOOOOOO!!! Now look what you've done! We now need to make a vague prophecy to get rid of him!
Rock: Leave it to me! (Glows so bright that he blinds Yellowfang and Darth Firestar)
The rock and the stinky breath shall join forces and destroy the Darth Firestar.
Rock: No one will ever figure out what that means.
Yellowfang: I CAN’T SEE! And first of all, that’s not vague enough! Second, I would NEVER join forces with you! Third, I DON’T GAVE STINKY BREATH!!
Darth Firestar: AAAAAAA I’M BLIND!!
Announcer cat: FINISH HIM!
Yellowfang: Okee... (Glows extremely bright)
The dark fire will be destroyed by a great power while the tough thing stands by idly.
Rock: Hey, I'm not idle!
Yellowfang: (Punches Darth Firestar) Of course I'M the great power!
Darth Firestar: And I leave this cruel world...once again. (fades away)
Yellowfang: Huh. Okay, now to deal with the naked old man. (turns to Rock)
Rock: You shall NEVER defeat me!! (runs away, screaming) MOUSE DUNG, WHERE’S MY STICK?!
Yellowfang: Why do you need-
Rock: (pulls out phone and dials Fallen Leaves’s number) FALLEN LEAVES! My peasant. FETCH ME MY STICK AND BRING IT TO MEEEEEE!
Yellowfang: (Laughing) How will you defeat me with a STICK?!
Fallen Leaves: Here you are, master. (Gives Rock stick)
Rock: Thanks. (Starts prancing around waving stick)
Rock: (Chanting) Awesome stick, hear my call, help me destroy this loser!
Yellowfang: (mutters) This old man is on drugs.
Awesome Stick: (starts floating and slowly levitates in circles) The glory, the glory, the GLORY!
Awesome Stick: (suddenly speeds up and lunges at Yellowfang) THE GLORY!
Yellowfang: AGH! Get away!
Awesome Stick: (starts stabbing Yellowfang) THE GLORRRYYYYY!!
Yellowfang: AHHHHHHH!!!! I NEED TO USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK! (Concentrates really hard)
(Yellow fangs grow rocket boosters and shoot out of Yellowfang's mouth)
Rock: AHHHHH!!!! (Tries to run away but can't) I knew I needed to continue my training.
Awesome Stick: THE GLORY!! (Continues stabbing Yellowfang)
Yellowfang: TEETH! Get rid of this stick!
(rocket boosters turn around and assault Awesome Stick)
Fallen Leaves: (slowly edges away from the battlefield as Rock starts screaming) I risk my life for yours, Awesome Stick.
Rock: NOOO! STAY AWAY FROM MY STIIIIIICCCKKKK!! (jumps on rocket boosters)
Awesome Stick: Father, don’t leave me!
Yellowfang: (wipes tear) Beautiful.
(Everything moves in slow motion as the teeth fly towards rock)
Awesome Stick: (Slow-motion talking) Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Fallen Leaves: (Throws a chicken nugget into the underground river)
Teeth: Yum. (Flies into river)
Yellowfang: NO! TEETH! COME BACK AND DESTROY THIS OLD MAN!
Teeth: WOULD YOU IGNORE MCDONALD’S CHICKEN NUGGETS?? (noms chicken nuggets and chokes) NOOO, IT’S wEnDy’S!!
Yellowfang: (turns to Fallen Leaves) How DARE you!!
Rock: NO ONE TALKS TO MY PEASANT LIKE THAT!! GGRRAAARRGGH! (bites Yellowfang)
Yellowfang: OI! Get away, scaliwag! (takes out sword)
Awesome Stick: EEEK! (screams and stabs Yellowfang even more)
Yellowfang: OUCH! En Garde! (Uses sword to fight against stick)
10 hours later...
(Yellowfang and Awesome Stick still fighting when commercials play)
Darth Firestar in commercial: ...And that is how I saved a bundle on my long distance telephone service.
Announcer: Come to Wendy's... Ahhhhh!!!! (Gets chased around the screen by everyone who hates Wendy's)
Rock: Okayokayokay. I know how to defeat Yellowfang. HOLD YOUR BREATH, O MIGHTY STICK!!
Awesome Stick: (holds breath)
Rock: (takes out a match, and lights it, then blows it into Yellowfang’s face) Don’t try this at home!
Yellowfang: mY wEaKnEsS!!1!!1 (dies of smoke inhalation according to Warriors Wiki)
Announcer Cat: ...
The End! :)
Bramblestar v. Tigerheart/star
Bramblestar: (in the video games isle) Hm...
Tigerstar: (pops around corner) HEY! Where’s the Spottedleaf’s Perfume?!
Bramblestar: (jumps) DON’T SCARE ME LIKE THAT! And I have no idea! Why do you want that?
Tigerstar: I, for one, buy things that are actually useful. (picks up video game, inspects it, and throws it on the ground) Unlike this garbage!
Bramblestar: (gasps with horror) How dare you!
Tigerstar: Well, I'm going to find the perfume.
10 minutes later...
Intercom: We have a... situation in the perfume isle.
Bramblestar: (Riding on cleaning cart rolling down the isle with a machine gun shooting perfume bottles) DIE DIE DIE!
Tigerstar: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU MONSTER?!
Bramblestar: I am destroying all the perfume, since you have destroyed...(inhales)...a copy of Animal Crossing. (continues shooting) And called it garbage.
Tigerstar: NOOO!! NOW DOVEWING WON’T LIKE ME!! (crashes into cleaning cart)
Bramblestar: (flies out of cleaning cart, into a shelf) HA! Now even more are lost!
Intercom: ...it is suggested you exit the store immediately.
Tigerstar: (sniffs) Well...now YOU smell like Spottedleaf!
Bramblestar: (Hefts machine gun) You shall die for that insult!
(A SWAT team runs around the corner between isles)
SWAT team member 1: FBI, open up!
SWAT team member 2: (Whispering) Wrong slogan.
SWAT team member 3: Surrender or die!
Tigerstar: Um. Who are these guys?
SWAT team member 3: (facepalm) Bruh.
SWAT team member 1: Can I shoot ’em?
Bramblestar: (punches SWAT team member 2) TAKE THAT!
SWAT team member 1: (takes out gun and pulls trigger)
Bramblestar: (Dodges) You look triggered.
SWAT team member 1: (Dies of bad puns)
SWAT team member 3: RETREAT! (SWAT team members 2 and 3 run away)
Tigerstar: I just remembered that I am supposed to be fighting you. (Punches Bramblestar)
Bramblestar: OUCH! (Throws a copy of Animal Crossing at Tigerstar)
Tigerstar: (flexes, blocking it) Ha! I’m too BUFF!
Bramblestar: Clearly...I’m switching tactics. (pulls out a Nintendo Switch and starts playing Super Smash Bros.)
Tigerstar: (trips) Again with the puns?! What are you gonna do with that ol’ Switch?
Bramblestar: (turns off Switch and places on ground and squats) B...B...B...
Bramblestar: ATTACK! (Charges at Tigerstar)
Tigerstar: (Dodges) You fool! Do you really think that you can defeat me with a Super Smash Bros. move?
Bramblestar: (Crashes into shelf of perfume, causing it to fall)
Tigerstar: THAT DOES IT! (Starts sprinting towards video game isle)
Bramblestar: NO! NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU HARM ANOTHER COPY OF ANIMAL CROSSING! (Sprints at speed of light)
Tigerstar: I wasn’t going to harm Animal Crossing! (grabs Pokémon Sword and karate chops it in half)
Brambelstar: (fangirl scream of fear) NOOO!! (breaks sound barrier and rams into Tigerstar still at the speed of light)
Tigerstar: OI! I’ve been deafened! And get away, you scum! (karate chops Bramblestar)
Bramblestar: (more fangirl screams)
Tigerstar: WHAT WAS THAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!
Bramblestar: I WILL FIGHT BACK WITH THE POWER OF VIDEO GAMES! (Attacks Tigerstar with Pokemon Sword)
Tigerstar: OUCH! You will pay for that! (Swipes at Bramblestar)
Bramblestar: (Blocks swipe with Pokemon Shield)
Tigerstar: Grrrrr... (Throws perfume bottle at Bramblestar, sending the fumes everywhere)
Bramblestar: (Chokes) You will never defeat the video games! (Gives Tigerstar paper cut with Paper Mario)
Tawnypelt: (appears) What is it?
Tigerstar: I didn’t-UUURRRGGH! (sprays even more perfume at Bramblestar)
Brambelstar: How does Firestar like this stuff?!? (staggers)
Tigerstar: TAWNYPELT! Please kill him.
Tawnypelt: (Eats Bramblestar)
Bramblestar: (From Tawnypelt's stomach) HELP!
Tigerstar: YES! YOU HAVE HELPED ME WIN!
Bramblestar: When I get out of here, I'm gonna destroy you!
Bramblestar: (From Tawnypelt’s stomach) I just . . . uh . . . will!
Tigerstar: Right. (Whispers in Tawnypelt‘s ear) Eat some gum!
Tigerstar: So he can’t get out!
Tawnypelt: Ooookay. (goes over to candy aisle, grabs 5 Gum, and noms)
Bramblestar: NOOOOO! The gum has got me stuck!
Bramblestar: GAAAAH! DIGESTIVE ACID! (Starts melting) NOOOOOOOO- (Dies)
Announcer Cat: And it looks like Tigerstar wins!
The End :)
Darth Firestar v. Graystripe
Battleground: A Mexican restaurant
Darth Firestar: (Eating nachos) These are tasty!
Graystripe: (Falls out of sky) OOOHHH! NACHOS! (Starts eating nachos)
Darth Firestar: (Force pushes Graystripe away) These are MY nachos! Go get your own!
Graystripe: HEY! (Drops ghost pepper into Darth Firestar's nachos)
Darth Firestar: (Eats pepper) GAAAAAAHH! SPICY! (Breathes fire)
Graystripe: Bad plan. (grabs fire extinguisher and sprays the white stuff into Darth Firestar’s mouth)
Darth Firestar: (chokes) HUUUAAFFF DAS GROOOSSS!!! (inflates)
Graystripe: (silently eats Darth Firestar’s nachos)
Darth Firestar: GRRT AWAY FURRUM MY NACHEEEESSS!!
Graystripe: (sprays even more white-extinguisher stuff)
Darth Firestar: *GURGLE!*
Graystripe: (Continues eating nachos)
Darth Firestar: PTOO! (spits white stuff in Graystripe's face)
Graystripe: HEY! (Throws sharp-edged nacho chip)
Darth Firestar: (Dodges and eats nacho chip)
Graystripe: HEY! That was mine!
Darth Firestar: You threw it at me!
Graystripe: WELL, it was still mine and still is! (goes up to Darth Firestar and does that thing people do to get something out of someone’s throat I have no idea at this point)
Darth Firestar: (spits out nacho)
Graystripe: (grabs nacho and eats it) It’s...soggy ._.
Darth Firestar: Of course it is! It was in my mouth!
Graystripe: (Chokes) Ptoo! Yuck, this is gross!
Darth Firestar: I use the nachosabre! (Curled nacho grows glowing blade)
Graystripe: (Takes out a different nachosabre) En Garde!
Darth Firestar: I eat the nacho of power! (Eats nacho)