Nightmare (Series)/Carry On

Carry On

---

Strangely enough, I wasn't expecting it to turn out like this.

"All right, Cinderpaw. I know that you are intuitive- and what your intuition should tell you is that I'm not here to harm you. My name is Cherryfang. I'm a senior warrior of MapleClan, and while our Clans may be enemies, I believe that we are both mature enough to just be able to talk."

In my imagination, as I fretted about my interrogation, I imagined that they would take me into the leader's den or a cave or a place out in the forest, one that was dank and depressing, and Silverflame (the MapleClan deputy) would forcefully ask me questions and torture me if I didn't contribute a satisfactory reply.

But instead of Silverflame's cool calculativeness, or Maplestar's mocking and sadistic look, I was facing a gingery brown she-cat who talked like she was giving a group of kits a lecture on proper behavior. I'm not sure which one was worse.

No, I should be grateful that my claws weren't being ripped out over questions about PineClan right now. Instead I just had to put on a happy face and at least pretend to cooperate with this Cherryfang she-cat. So far, she seemed a little bit like Lilypetal, responsible, but despite being a senior warrior she had that youthful spark that reminded me of-

No.

Daisypaw.

Fox dung.

They even have similar pelt colors-

Stop.

I had to get out of this camp.

Quickly, I formulated a plan in my head. Smile, be kind to Cherryfang, give her some untrue answers, and then wait until I have her trust so she lets me out of her sight and I can find a way to sneak out.

"Earth to Cinderpaw. Are you there?"

I snapped back to paying attention to what Cherryfang was saying. I tried to take any trace of contempt out of my facial expression, and just look relaxed and eager. I was no actor, but apparently I was successful. That or Cherryfang is bad at reading cats. Maybe she was too trusting - cats that have never gone through anything taxing usually are.

"So Cinderpaw, how is life in PineClan?"

Speedily, I scoured through my vocabulary and reasonable answers to give her a fake answer. "It's enjoyable, but it can have difficulties. I do get tired really easy. And I'm sure you are aware of the change in leader." I hoped the last part didn't sound too passive aggressive.

"Yes, I am aware. For all young cats, things can stll be confusing. Any features of PineClan specifically that you find puzzling? Remember, we're just chatting here."

Ha. Just chatting. She was as manipulative as I was.

"The requirements for graduating from apprenticeship. I know that it's usually your mentor and leader that decide when you can become a warrior, but I haven't noticed any specific set of requirements - such as, "completed 3 successful hunting missions."

Cherryfang nodded. "So you prefer a more methodical approach to your training, rather than just learning and going with the flow."

I gave a faint smile and continued lying. "Yes."

Cherryfang purred- I can't imagine that it was genuine, but it was a purr nonetheless. "When I was an apprentice I was such a troublemaker. But now, time has solved that issue, and I simply matured."

I nodded. 

"So Cinderpaw, I guess we'll continue with our little chat. Let's see- since we are talking about apprenticeship and training... how does your mentor train you? And how do PineClan cats train in general, do you know?"

Okay, this was just blatant. I wasn't that dense that I wouldn't pick up on her little ways of trying to weed information out of me.

But before I could decide on another lie, a shriek echoed from the other side of the MapleClan camp.

"My kits! Someone stole my kits!"

Some people live out of selfish desire

Some choose to shout when they speak and death be the star

My first reaction was to jump to my feet. But Cherryfang shot me a glare, lashing her tail. "Cinderpaw, you're doing great, but you need to stay here right now."

I faked worry. "Of course."

Although, I did wonder what happened to those kits- I often heard tales of kits being stolen by foxes and warriors going on an epic quest to get them back. Maybe that's what this would turn out to be. With my curiosity piqued, I disobeyed Cherryfang's orders without a second thought. Sneakily, I skirted the edge of the clearing, keeping my eyes of the gathering of MapleClan warriors around the nursery, with apprentices in the back jumping up and down trying to see the action. I heard the fussing of queens.

Just as I was about to pick my way around the warriors' den and go around to get a better view, I felt claws dig into my tail. Surprised, I jumped in the air, and hoped that nobody had heard my paws thud on the ground. I saw one she-cat, with red paws and tail look in my direction- but she looked young. An apprentice, rather than a full warrior, so maybe I had a chance. I shook my head at her, and made the motion of covering my mouth.

She stared at me for a moment, before she leaned in to talk to her apprentice friend, presumably about me, the camp prisoner trying to creep around unnoticed.

But before she was done speaking, I turned around to see who had grabbed my tail. First I was met with a set of bright green eyes; then I realized that it was Flamestrike, from the slight tint of orange that I saw in the shadows.

He began to whisper, as the rest of the patrol unfolded from behind him. I walked closer, to see better. It was just him, Lilypetal, Specklefoot, and Leafpaw. 

Flamestrike continued murmuring to me as I slipped into the darkness of the thick forest leaves with them. "Cinderpaw, we're here to rescue you. We picked up your scent, and it led us here. We have to leave, now."

"The stolen kits are just a diversion," Lilypetal chimed in quietly, "We have them somewhere safe now, and when we are safely away, Specklefoot is going to go leave the kits outside of the MapleClan camp and there won't be any issues. Clear?"

I nodded, not wanting to take the risk of continuing speaking. Deftly, I padded behind my rescue patrol, determined not to make any noise, while Leafpaw blundered through the undergrowth like a badger.

"Would it kill you to be a little more coordinated?" I snapped at Leafpaw. She just glared in my direction, her green eyes filled with irritation and impatience. Apparently she had forgotten what I had done for her in the battle.

"Hey, you two, keep moving," Flamestrike whispered to us. I did notice that Leafpaw did seem to make more of an effort to remain silent as we traipsed through the forest. The MapleClan scent seemed to fade for a bit, and then get stronger as we approached the border.

"Now?" Specklefoot inquired.

"Now," Lilypetal replied, nodding her head. Despite his large size, Specklefoot was able to easily navigate through the trees and undergrowth without a single twig snapping. As he went about returning the kits that my rescue patrol had apparently also captured, me and the rest swiftly crossed the border into PineClan territory, and my muscles instantly began to relax as I was once again surrounded by familiar sights and smells. My head began to clear.

Yeah. Home sweet home.

In the familiar territory, I was able to easily use my sight to see up and coming landmarks, and my smell to trace which direction the camp was in. I caught a whiff of stronger PineClan scent on the breeze, blowing from my right. Using that smell, I inferred where the camp was, and walked at the head of the patrol back to camp. Flamestrike and Lilypetal didn't seem to mind.

But instead of walking through the thorny camp entrance to see my familiar and slightly comforting camp bustling at sunhigh, I walked right into the front of Hollystar.

Cautiously, the rescue patrol filtered in behind me, casting tentative looks at Hollystar before shyly moving off to the side. Me? I stood there, facing Hollystar, meeting his gaze directly, even as I began to shake with nervousness. For all I knew, Hollystar could attack me right now- he said that he could alter the warrior code if he wanted to because he was the leader, so then could he possibly alter it in a more harmful way?

Hollystar narrowed his eyes. "Cinderpaw. I'm sure you've realized how much trouble you've caused me, Poppypelt, Flamestrike, and the rest of that patrol. Or maybe you do know, because so far all you have been is trouble."

That's not a good sign. If Hollystar didn't see any value in me, then who knows what he would decide to do to me.

"But unfortunately, the Clan needs apprentices and new warriors in this time of conflict, so I won't be doing anything drastic, like casting you out of the Clan."

Yeah. Or beating me up.

"No. Instead, you are to clean the elder's den every day for the next quarter moon. You have to learn how to respect the rules, and be helpful rather than harmful."

What a hypocrite.

I itched to challenge him, to prove that I wouldn't cower before him. But instead I found myself nodding... and speaking. "Y-yes Hollystar."

---

Mumbling curses, I found myself with my paws buried in a bunch of old bedding. It was sunhigh, and while the other apprentices were out on border patrol or hunting, I was here in the stinking elders' den trying to get it clean before the elders were done sunning themselves outside. There were only two elders- Stormpetal and Lilacspots. So why in the name of StarClan was there so much moss?

I began to speed up my job, but it was too late. Stormpetal and Lilacspots shuffled into the den, skirting around me, laughing and sharing tongues. I knew that Stormpetal and Lilacspots had a... different, I guess you would call it, relationship. They weren't just two old she-cat friends, they were mates. Apparently they had been that way for a while now- and the surprising thing was that they were never gossipped about. The entirety of PineClan loved their rumors and trash talking, but there seemed to be some sort of special respect for the both of them, despite the fact that they were two she-cats in a romantic relationship. 

And I guess I could definitely respect the guts to come out and say that you were a little bit different.

Right as I pushed all of the old moss out and prepared to bring the new moss in, I heard a crackling sound, the sound of cat paws going through the camp entrance. The floor of that particular entrance had been coated in dead leaves for some time now. To my joy, I realized that Frostpaw was the first cat to bound through, radiating youthful energy and innocence and excitement, his pure white fur glistening in the mild sun. Following him, was a slightly more tired Specklefoot, and a grumpy-looking she-cat named Roseflight.

"Borders are secure!" Frostpaw exclaimed. I wanted to go speak to my brother, but I didn't want to risk getting Hollystar or Poppypelt's wrath. I wouldn't be surprised if Goldenleaf decided to take the opportunity to nag me as well- must be frustrating for her, now that I wasn't in her paws in the nursery anymore, and she had to return to being a normal warrior instead of lazing around all day. I snorted thinking of my mother complaining as she did something other than laze around all day and flirt with toms.

But instead, Frostpaw gleefully pranced over to me before I could decide if I wanted to leave behind my task or not. "Hi Cinderpaw- how is it going?"

How is it going? Just freaking wonderful. Like always. "I'm doing all right Frostpaw," I mewed, trying to add some pep into my voice. I then leaned forward and licked down the fur on his ear.

"I heard that Pebblepaw is out gathering herbs for Cloudmist since she doesn't have an apprentice," Frostpaw purred.

I allowed myself a smile. "I'm imagining him crashing through the woods, trying to pick the correct plants with his big blundering paws."

Frostpaw laughed a bit. "Yeah, that's what I would expect... Hey Cinderpaw, do you want some help cleaning out the elders' den?"

I shook my head. "No, you just got back from patrol, you need to go eat. I'll be fine by myself. And plus, Hollystar might not appreciate that."

He playfully bumped into my side. "Please? I just want to help. I don't see how they can complain about an apprentice doing extra work."

I purred- something I rarely do. "You have a point, little brother," I told him, "I suppose you can come help me."

Frostpaw went about disposing of the old moss, while I began to push the new moss in the den as fast as possible, as Stormpetal and Lilacspots were standing up, chattering as if I wasn't even there. I hooked the moss up with my claws, and began to set the bases for the nests on the den floor. I would have to get some bracken to line the nests later. As I was doing this, Frostpaw slipped in the den. 

"All done!" he meowed.

Stormpetal purred with amusement. "We are grateful, young one."

Frostpaw's eyes shone with joy. I looked down, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone in the den, gritting my teeth.

My brother came close beside me, and began assisting me with putting the bedding together, as he spoke to me. "Uh, Cinderpaw..."

I looked up quickly. "What?" I replied, it sounding a bit ruder than I meant it to be. I just hoped that my brother wouldn't take offense.

"... What's wrong? You... you never really seem that happy. I feel like something is on your mind," he said, his voice going down to a whisper so we weren't heard.

I shook my head. "It's nothing you need to know or worry about." I resumed with my work.

"Why not? I want to know. We're siblings. We help each other."

"Because there's nothing that any of us can do about it," I snapped, "I tried to solve the issue. I was shot down. There's nothing left for me to do but sit here and twiddle my paws while the forest is in danger."

Frostpaw's eyes widened. "The forest is in danger?"

I lashed my tail and shook my head. "Forget I said anything."

He seemed hurt. "But... I thought we would tell each other anything... has that changed?"

I sighed, feeling myself cave into my brother's will as always. I made sure that my voice was lowered, before I began to speak. Running through the recent events in my life, I picked a place to start.

"See Frostpaw... it started when I snuck out of camp. That night, I heard Hollystar, then Hollyfoot, and Poppypelt conversing with a MapleClan warrior - Silverflame, the deputy," I began in a lowered voice. Frostpaw's fuzzy white ears perked up, and I could tell he was listening intently, as the pace of his work slowed down. I went at the same pace, since I was almost done with the first nest.

"They found me, and asked for information on our father... see, I was the one to tell them that Birchheart was half Clan, even though I didn't really know anything. Because of this information, Hollystar and Poppypelt got him exiled, and Hollystar took the deputy place for a while."

"But... why did you do that to our father?" Frostpaw asked, confusion and sadness coming out of his tone of voice.

I just rolled my eyes, and moved onto the second nest, where Frostpaw was working. "You're not completely oblivious," I told him, "You must have noticed how Birchheart neglected and ignored us."

My brother's ears flattened slightly, and I was instantly regretful for making him upset with all of this information. "He was busy," he retaliated.

I decided it wasn't worth the time. "Anyways, Hollystar and Poppypelt plotted with Silverflame... and had Pinestar killed. That's when Hollystar took his place." I made sure my voice stayed at around a whiper, though I suspected that Stormpetal and Lilacspots' hearing wasn't pristine.

"But why is Silverflame helping them?" Frostpaw inquired.

I was usually a cat with all the answers. But this particular one eluded me- all I could do was shrug my shoulders. But I still wasn't done talking.

"But then when I was temporarily captive, that night I heard Silverflame interrogating Birchheart, who was apparently relying on MapleClan for prey and support now that he's exiled- turns out our father was half rogue, not split between two Clans. Silverflame was asking all sorts of questions about the rogues that live to the north in the small Twolegplace, cause apparently Birchheart's father was one of them."

At this point, Frostpaw had completely abandoned his project and was listening to me, eyes wide and ears perked.

That was when I realized that Lilacspots was looking right at us. And then- she began to speak. 

"You two young cats... are talking about the northern rogues?"

I flattened my ears, fur along my tail and the back of my neck bristling. "How much of our conversation did you hear?"

"Only the parts about the rogues," Lilacspots replied. "This part of your conversation must have stood out to me, because me and Stormpetal were kits when the large exile happened."

Now, I thought I was proficient in my Clan history, but I didn't know everything.

"The Clans were all going through a very difficult time- it was the middle of leaf bare, and it was harsher than usual. Thick snow, slippery ice, and stinging winds were an everyday thing. Prey was scarce. And there was just too many mouths fo feed in all of the Clans. So one day, they decided that they had no choice other than to select certain cats and send them off, they said for "mutual benefit". But the leaders really knew that they were sending innocent cats to die in the cold, while their Clan became better with less mouths to feed. These exiles became rogues, and they have moved north to a small Twolegplace. We still hear from them every now and then."

Stormpetal nodded. "I am not sure what you two young ones were talking about, but let me tell you, I wouldn't be surprised if the northern rogues, or at least this new generation of them, want revenge against the Clans."

Caught in the flame of those deep in fire

Seeking out those with a voice, one for tomorrow

Stormpetal said this statement easily, like she was just saying good morning. But as for me? It put a shiver down my spine instantly. I had never heard of these "northern rogues" but apparently they posed a threat.

Why didn't I know this? I suppose I listened to more arguing and gossip than elders' tales as a kit, but this was something that was much to important to just sweep under a rock. Were all the Clan leaders this irresponsible?

Or maybe they were ashamed. They probably wanted everyone to forget.

But the images of Hollystar, Poppypelt, and Silverflame danced through my mind, and I realized that not everyone remembered or heard of the northern rogues, but some did. Some cats like Hollystar. Or like Silverflame.

"Are you all right?" I jumped into the air and banged my head against the roof of the den after Frostpaw nudged me.

"I'm fine," I mumbled, guilt tugging at my fur for lying to my brother, the only cat that I could trust. "The nests look about done, but I'm going to take a quick trip to the forest to grab some bracken to line them," I muttered, before I could fumble things any further. Frostpaw enthusiastically seemed to bounce on his feet. "Can I come?"

I shook my head as I exited the den. "No... er... you need to stay here and make sure the moss is properly fixed in the nests. I'll be right back."

Before Frostpaw could meow a quick goodbye, I was out the camp entrance, striding forward with a purpose. I did need to line the elders' nests- but that was the last thing on my mind right now. Soon I approached the Stone Creek, the place that I had always snuck to as a kit, where I would watch the clear silvery water flow by and the birds flit about overhead. It was my special place- one of the only decent memories of my kithood. I flinched as I remembered Goldenleaf, and how her words were just as sharp as her claws.

And while I was lost in thought, I knew that there were plenty of ferns and bracken around the creek, and it wouldn't take me long to find what I needed. But as I plucked the bracken fronds from the bushes with my teeth, my mind was fitting together pieces of a puzzle- when MapleClan attacked our camp, they seemed stronger, and with more warriors. And while no one had commented on that really, I still remember the trace of rogue scent floating through the air post battle.

Could that have been the northern rogues? Did Silverflame recruit them?

I imagined that that idea would have to get past Maplestar first, and out of desperation he allowed some rogues to help. But in that battle... the MapleClan cats only seemed to stay until Pinestar lost his last life- presumably at the claws of Silverflame. So that means that Silverflame must have convinced Maplestar that Pinestar needed to die for them to prosper. And the rogues... if they wanted revenge...

But it was BirchClan that was the giant, successful Clan, looming over MapleClan and PineClan. Why weren't they targeting them, as they were more powerful?

I stopped my train of thought for a moment, before setting down some more bracken into my pile. Just then, I got a whiff of mallow. Cloudmist would appreciate me bringing some back for her herb storage. Deftly, I bit the mallow plants at the stems, and dropped it onto my pile.

And I think I had it figured out.

Hollystar, Poppypelt, and Silverflame were working together because they wanted joint power for their Clans... and that must be power over BirchClan. What else would they need to prevail over? BirchClan apparently even had stolen some of our and MapleClan's territory a little bit before I was born. And then since this generation of northern rogues were bitter about their parents and grandparents being unjustly cast out of the Clans into the cold snow outside the territories, I could imagine they would be willing to help  Hollystar, Poppypelt, and Silverflame with taking control. Even though they were working with Clan cats, they would still get to hurt other Clan cats, and make them pay for the struggles of the previous generations.

But Pinestar was a fair and just leader in my eyes- he would have just stood in the way of Hollystar, then Hollyfoot's, plans. So they had to get rid of him. And that's what they did.

And did that mean that Maplestar was convinced to go along with Silverflame's plans?

As much as I wanted to figure out everything, I didn't want to make incorrect assumptions. Because that- that could even be dangerous.

Then I remembered that I needed to get back to camp fast or else Frostpaw would suspect something, and maybe Stormpetal and Lilacspots would too. I picked up my pace, with the herbs and bracken shoved in my mouth- I carried more of it stuck under my chin, and pushed my way through the entrance, thorns dragging against my pelt. Someone really needed to fix that, but it wasn't going to be me, cause I was always doing the work around here.

I promptly returned to the elders' den, where Stormpetal and Lilacspots were chatting, and Frostpaw was pawing at a beetle that had come through the entrance- he jumped up as soon as he saw I was back. 

I dropped the plants, and purred. "Hard at work, I see."

Frostpaw shrugged sheepishly. "There was nothing else to do."

Separating the mallow from the fern and bracken, I shooed him away with my paw. "You don't need to help me anymore. Go eat."

"Okay!" he exclaimed, before bounding to the fresh-kill pile, and then taking a seat beside Mistpaw. It was almost like he had forgotten that Mistpaw and Pebblepaw had mauled him as a kit, and caused his apprentice ceremony to be postponed. I supposed that he was the forgiving type; I, however, was not. Letting out a hiss, thinking of the other apprentices, I began to frustratedly drop and press the bracken around the elders' nests, where it needed to go. Fox dung. I'm so done with working.

After that, I stormed out of the den, with a temper all of a sudden. I heard Stormpetal and Lilacspots calling out their goodbyes and thank yous. I just ignored them, and snatched up the mallow I had gathered. Every cat in the clearing seemed to make a wide circle around me. That wasn't too unusual, cause I was considered to be somewhat of a freak, but now I was sure that I looked extra undesirable to be around.

But no matter. I pushed through the lichen at the entrance to the medicine den, and dropped the mallow at my feet. Cloudmist was in the back, pulling a thorn out of Gingerear's paw.

"Ouch," he whined, "I stepped on it going through the camp entrance."

"Just hold still," Cloudmist said calmly, before taking the end of the thorn in her teeth, and giving it a sharp pull. Gingerear let a little cry of pain out, and went to licking his paw. I noticed Cloudmist's technique- she had to grasp it firmly with her teeth, and pull hard all at once, as well as add a little twist to the pulling to make if effective.

She spat out the thorn, and turned to look at me. "Cinderpaw. What are you doing in here?"

I pushed the mallow forward with my paw. "I got this for you..." I muttered.

Gingerear tentatively sidestepped around me and left the medicine den, while Cloudmist approached me. "Thank you Cinderpaw, I appreciate it. Mallow does grow thickly around water at this time of year, doesn't it?"

I just nodded, trying to seem uninterested enough so she would let me go but just interested enough so I wouldn't be impolite. "Yeah... I noticed."

Cloudmist seemed to sense my low mood. "Well Cinderpaw, thank you. You're welcome in here any time."

"Thanks," I mewed, before turning tail and pushing back through the lichen into the clearing. I was about to head to the apprentice den to take a well-deserved nap, when I heard Hollystar's call.

"All cats gather under the Highboulder for this important announcement!"

"Important announcement". Great.

Nonchalantly, I avoided the cats that came streaming into the clearing, and sat down at the back. I noticed that Snowblossom took the effort to find me and sit next to me- it was frustrating, the way she tried to keep track of me all the time. I should be able to do relax if I wanted- if anything, she should track that idiot Pebblepaw.

"Cats of PineClan... we have been faced with many difficulties recently. We have swayed, but never fallen."

Great StarClan, he sounds stupid. Just shut up.

"One of these difficulties happened to be the MapleClan attack on our camp recently- during this attack, lives were lost. There was Daisypaw, a young apprentice, dead, due to help not being able to come in time-" I flinched. "- and then there was Pinestar, the leader himself. Now, we need to prove that PineClan was not weakened. No, this tragedy may hurt us but in the end it will bring us closer together."

Lies, lies, lies. Hollystar spoke to the Clan in the same false but sugarcoated manner that an unfaithful tom did to his mate. But I swallowed, anticipating the next words, and tried to block the memories of Daisypaw from my mind.

The way that the red petals fell around her limp body like peals of blood... the way she pleaded for her life but I couldn't save her... the way that her eyes went glassy then she was gone...

"Tonight, we travel to the heart of MapleClan's territory, and attack their camp."

They say we've lost our minds

We've just gained control

Instead of the usual murmurs and whispers, Hollystar's words were met with a silence. Honestly, I couldn't see how the Clan was so shocked. They must have predicted that this was coming eventually- our leader was killed. There was no way to avoid conflict any longer.

With the lack of noise, Hollystar was able to list off cats with ease, holding the full attention of the clearing. "Warriors that will go to the battle include Crimsonflower, Flamestrike, Nightstem, Lilypetal, Gingerear, and Specklefoot. Snowblossom and Poppypelt will stay and help guard the camp."

Snowblossom, my mentor, wasn't going. Then I probably wasn't either- mentors and apprentices usually went to battles together, it was rare to have one or the other.

"Apprentices that will go are Leafpaw, Pebblepaw, Mistpaw, and Frostpaw. Cinderpaw, you will stay here and help guard the camp."

Daringly, I glared at Hollystar, and he returned the glare, but with a surprisingly blank expression. I almost felt like him not sending me into battle was some sort of message. I knew I was a better fighter than Frostpaw and Pebblepaw... I didn't know about Mistpaw or Leafpaw. But that couldn't be the issue, right?

Or maybe it was just random, and I was overthinking, as always. I should be grateful that I didn't have to go get my pelt clawed up by enemy warriors for my own subpar Clan. Nope, I could leave that to the other warriors. Or at least that's what I would normally think. Of course I was concerned about Frostpaw, but I found myself beginning to worry about... others. Not something that was normal for me. I didn't want to be plagued with any more thoughts about if Lilypetal and Flamestrike and Specklefoot were okay. Specklefoot became Frostpaw's mentor after Daisypaw's untimely death, and him getting hurt or dying would affect Frostpaw greatly.

"Hey! Hey Cinderpaw..." I heard from beside me. I turned my gaze to see Cloudmist sitting next to me. She had settled into a comfortable seated position, her fur lying flat to keep cool, her fuzzy tail curled around her feet.

"Hey," I mumbled, "Was there something you needed?" I wasn't exactly eager for a conversation at the moment.

"Cinderpaw, I just wanted to talk to you about something."

Oh great. The dreaded words. Whenever someone said they wanted to talk to me about something, or that they had a question for me, I instantly assumed the worst. What in StarClan's name could Cloudmist be angry at me about? Maybe I had messed up the herbs last time I helped her...

"Hey Cinderpaw. Stop staring into the distance- you do it a lot, and it's kind of creepy."

I flinched at her words. "What is it that you want to say?"

She sighed, and then took a deep breath. "I see that you are growing to be a fine young warrior- and right now, PineClan definitely needs its warriors, in these times of conflict. But when there's conflict, there's always the medicine cat, healing cats behind the scenes, sometimes taking on multiple patients at once, and it can be overwhelming. But it's necessary work."

I had a hunch that I knew where this was going.

"You've already displayed an adequate knowledge of the herbs and how they are used- and you've displayed an interest in assisting me. In these times, I can get overwhelmed with work... that's how... the accident with Daisypaw happened. So what I'm asking of you, Cinderpaw, is for you to become my apprentice."

The medicine cat apprentice? True, about half of the time I loathed training with the other apprentices, because Pebblepaw and Mistpaw were stupid, sometimes Leafpaw too. It was mostly stuff I already knew. Being a medicine cat could either give me a new status of respect in the Clan, or lead me to be ridiculed and mocked even more than I already am, and it could go either way. Would I legitimately enjoy being a medicine cat? Barely fighting, always gathering herbs and helping other cats.

Maybe it would work?

Then I remembered the feeling of launching into an attack in battle, and feeling my claws and teeth sink into fur. I remembered the feeling of blood coursing through my veins every time I engaged in practice fights or when I went at some prey. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life taking care of everybody- I could barely take care of myself.

And I just was a warrior. It was in my blood.

Yeah. I should be fighting in the MapleClan camp right now.

"I'm sorry," I sighed. I knew that at least Cloudmist was nice and decent, even if she wasn't able to save Daisypaw. "I'm a warrior. That's how I feel my future should be."

For a moment, Cloudmist looked dejected. "Look... I know you need help, and I'll still help you. But I'll also still be training to become a warrior."

She seemed to relax a bit, when I said that I would still help her. Was she really that overworked?

I guess I did kind of care. I dipped my head to Cloudmist, and in order to get away before things got too awkward, I gave a lame excuse. 

"Uh... I got to go to the dirtplace. I'll see you later."

Cloudmist's tail curled, and she blinked curiously, as if she realized the fact that I had some ulterior motive for leaving. But wisely, she said nothing, and watched as I padded away to the dirtplace. I stayed in there for a couple minutes, planning to leave when it seemed like just the right amount of time to be convincing. But before I could return to the clearing and hopefully to the warriors' den, my ears picked up the sounds of multiple cats' paws thrumming on the forest floor.

It must be our battle patrol.

Quickly, I came out of the dirtplace, prepared to help Cloudmist with the injuries. Before I was even fully out, Hollystar's patrol of warriors came rushing through the entrance. I noticed that Crimsonflower had a nasty gash on her side- blood from it dripped into little red splotches on the earth, as her body heaved with exhaustion. Okay. I'm going to need cobwebs and goldenrod.

"Cats of PineClan, we are victorious!" Hollystar announced to the group of cats, going to get their injuries checked, or just to cleanse their fur of dust and blood.

"But then why don't we have their territory?" Frostpaw ventured, confused, as he began licking some minor scratches on his chest. Frostpaw was getting stronger- he wasn't the same helpless kit as he used to be. Back then, we had a relationship of codependency, and now... he was stronger. Even fighting in battles successfully, maybe even as well as I was.

But did this mean that we were drifting apart?

I snapped out of it, and redirected my attention to Hollystar, who was once again about to speak.

"We don't have their territory because that wasn't our objective- our objective was revenge. And Frostpaw, you know that we got it."

Frostpaw knew... what?

"Yes, this battle was to set about avenging the death of Pinestar, our last leader. In return, we have killed Maplestar."

Search endlessly, fight 'til we're free

Fly past the edge of the sea

Why was I even surprised?

Pinestar was somehow a nuisance to Hollystar and Poppypelt's plans, and now he was dead, killed at the claws of Silverflame... who was the MapleClan deputy.

"Now I think we have scared those pathetic MapleClan cats!" Poppypelt exclaimed. What an unprofessional deputy.

As I looked around the clearing, I just started to notice the dull-eyed gaze of my Clanmates- Flamestrike seemed preoccupied, while Lilypetal swayed back and forth on her paws, eyes glassy, as if she was in shock. The behavior of a large part of the warriors seemed discouraged and distressed, even though the battle was an obvious victory.

I didn't like most of PineClan, since they didn't give me a reason to like them in the first place. But I couldn't help but empathize; all of us were caught in the middle of a war being led by corrupt leaders, especially now that Silverflame would become the new leader of MapleClan. The times were rough- and they seemed to be times of change as well. But the change did not seem for the better.

Quickly and quietly, I weaved through the crowd and reached the medicine den, where Cloudmist was already hard at work dividing up the herbs into bundles that she could give each cat. As she put them together, I snatched up a couple of them in my jaws. I promised to help out with Cloudmist, no matter what the other warriors or apprentices say about me- I'm still a warrior through and through. 

And not to mention that Cloudmist had repeatedly given me reason to like her. She was kind, caring, and compassionate... I admit that I liked to complain, but as far as she went, I couldn't object to much.

With a bundle of herbs in my mouth, I decided to go to Lilypetal first. As I arrived, she gave me a grateful look. "Just here," she mewed, indicating a long, deep set of scratched on her lower left flank. I grabbed the moss from the bundle, and began dabbing at the blood until it was clean, still as fascinated with the way it stained the moss red as I was when I was a kit.

"Thank you, Cinderpaw," Lilypetal spoke, "You can be very responsible and successful when you put your mind to it."

This isn't an inspiring mentoring session and speech, I thought immediately, but didn't say anything.

"So what happened?" I asked instead.

Lilypetal shrugged, as I smashed the herbs into a poultice. "We went into the battle, and the fighting began as usual, when Hollystar got into a fight with Maplestar- which isn't unheard of in battles, for the leaders to ignore the rest and fight each other. But Hollystar seemed so... predatory. Like he didn't even care that he just went and killed Maplestar with a nip to the throat." Lilypetal paused, sighing. "I shouldn't say these things to a young apprentice."

"I'm not that young," I reminded her.

Lilypetal's whiskers twitched, but she didn't say anything. So I continued. "So you've started to pick up on the fact that something unusual is happening, correct?"

Hesitantly, she replied. "I can sense something... I don't know what or why, but things have seemed off... like, did you know that Silverflame is keeping the first part of his name as well? Just like Hollystar. I thought that went against the code, but they went and did it. I don't know... just... something's off."

I stood up, finishing treating her scratches. "I'll be honest- somehow I came to know more details about this... strange situation."

Lilypetal looked at me, now seemingly captivated. "Cinderpaw. If you get information on these things, you need to tell a warrior at once. Whether it be your mentor, or me, or a senior warrior. Or even Cloudmist. Never keep this all to yourself."

I shuffled my paws awkwardly. "I wasn't really motivated to help the Clan earlier..." I muttered. "Plus, when I began to tell Snowblossom, she just ignored me and told me to stop."

Lilypetal looked down. "That doesn't strike me as the wise move for her to make. I suppose she can be impatient."

I rolled my eyes. "What's the point though? There's nothing can change."

"You don't know that," Lilypetal replied, "And I have an idea."

I watched her, listening, waiting expectantly. 

"We need to get as many warriors and apprentices of this Clan together in secret, and talk about what we know. That way we will be united if there is a threat, and we can learn to deal with it."

I nodded. Maybe it won't be so bad. "Yeah... just don't include Poppypelt or Hollystar. I thought that would be obvious, but just in case."

LIlypetal gave me a weak smile. "Okay. Thanks for the treatment, Cinderpaw... why don't you tell cats as you treat them... we should meet at moonhigh tonight, by the fallen tree just outside of camp. And be discreet."

--

As night fell, I felt myself grow more energized, anticipating the meeting. I had tried to talk to as many cats as possible, but that was difficult; I had to be assertive, which I could be, but I didn't know how to do that and be polite at the same time. I also tried to be persuasive- telling my Clanmates that I knew that something was going on and we were having a secret meeting. Some of them stuck up their nose or refused to listen, but a large amount did. I even convinced Snowblossom to com, even though she believed that me and Cloudmist's fears about about Hollystar and Silverstar were just paranoia. 

But now I felt like raking everyone's pelt. The night was dead quiet, apart from the sound of crickets and the hoots of owls. The last thing we needed was every cat shuffling about noisily, even stopping to talk to one another at almost normal value. I gave a frustrated hiss- everyone actually seemed to listen to me more than Cloudmist or Lilypetal, and I supposed that was because they were too kind and gentle.

Nonetheless, Cloudmist was clearly the leader of this meeting. She just naturally fell into that position, as I was never much of a public speaker anyways, or a collaborator, I just did what I had to do to get by. 

"All right everyone, settle down, and make sure to stay quiet," Cloudmist whispered to the crowd, and was drowned out. I let out a hiss, and the cats finally fell silent- here was me, Cloudmist, Lilypetal, Flamestrike, Gingerear, Specklefoot, Nightstem, Frostpaw, and Pebblepaw. I guess Pebblepaw was just curious, since I knew he was a brute.

"Recently, there have been changes in our Clan as well as other Clans, and we believe there is foul play, and it's something that could potentially be dangerous,"

With the looming threat of danger, every cat seemed to perk up. I snickered as I noticed that Pebblepaw hit his head on the fallen tree, but Snowblossom soon silenced me. Her facial expression was still skeptical, but she was listening attentively.

TBC

No bended knee

No mockery

Somehow we still carry on

Silence your fear, we've got to move higher

High like stars in the sky, guiding us all

Battle the will of those who conspire

Take back the passion to live, vanish the sorrow

Destroy their perfect crime

Watch their power fold

Search endlessly, fight 'til we're free

Fly past the edge of the sea

No bended knee

No mockery

Somehow we still carry on

Carry on

Search endlessly, fight 'til we're free

Fly past the edge of the sea

No bended knee

No mockery

Somehow we still carry on

Carry on