Once upon a time
It was a warm, sunny day in ThunderClan. Firestar was resting in his den, Brambleclaw was organizing patrols, Lionblaze was training Dovepaw, and Jayfeather was sorting herbs.
Leafpool was out in the forest, trying to catch a mouse. "I don't understand!" she yowled, as loudly as possible.
"Hey! What are you doing on Windclan territory?" A cat asked her.
"I'm on Windclan's territory? Really?" Leafpool asked in a rather stupid way.
"Of course, Mousebrain. Now, follow me. By the way, my name is Owlwhisker." The cat walked away, waving his tail for Leafpool to follow. She did.
"Well, here we are in the Windclan camp." Owlwhisker padded away into Onestar's den to tell him of their prisoner.
"What are YOU doing here?" Crowfeather glared at Leafpool from the other side of the camp.
"I dunno," Leafpool said, "I was trying to catch a mouse.." She trailed off, just as Nightcloud walked over.
"Crowfeather! What are you doing with her?!" she demanded.
"Hey! He was my mate first!"
(Author's note: This is where it starts getting more wierd. :D )
Cowboy music started playing.
"There ain't room here for the two of us." Nightcloud crouched, preparing to pouch. Leafpool paniced, and faked a breakdown.
"M-My life is s-so hor-horrible! My mate, my kits, and my clan have abandoned me!" she wailed.
Nightcloud pounced on her, ending her... whatever that was. Nightcloud clawed furiously, while Leafpool just sort of flopped around like a fish. At that point, Onestar walked out of his den and called a clan meeting.
"Will all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the High-hill for a clan meeting!" Cats swarmed out of the dens, some of them jumped, hissed, or glared when they saw Leafpool. She felt pretty out of place.
"As you may have noticed, we have a Thunderclan cat in our camp. She was found trespassing on our territory." He paused to allow several hisses. "I have decided to hold her in our camp, rather than chase her out, due to the fact that nobody likes her." Several cats continued to hiss.
"Wait a second! I'll have you know that several cats like me!" Leafpool protested.
"Like who?" Onestar meowed.
"Like.. um... Crowfeather?" Leafpool pondered for a moment before saying his name.
"As if!" Crowfeather spat.
"Anyways, we'll let Thunderclan know what we're going to do with her at the next gathering. You're all dismissed. Except you, Leafpool. Come with me." Leafpool followed Onestar back towards his den. Once they were there, Onestar motioned towards some brambles and branches near the edge of camp that was rather like a pit, there was no roof or visible entrance. "You'll be staying there." Onestar meowed at her.
"How do I get in?" She asked. She didn't know how to climb.
"Oh, you don't know how to climb? You're a pretty stupid Thunderclan cat."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Onestar rolled his eyes.
"Nevermind, anyways, come here." He jumped onto the high-hill again, and Leafpool followed, suddenly noticing several large boulders nearby. Onestar jumped from boulder to boulder until he reached the highest one. Leafpool followed, but fell several times before finally getting there.
"What next, Onestar?" She mewed, like an excited kit.
"Well, stand over here." He motioned towards the edge of the rock, and Leafpool padded over. "Okay, now, look down." She did, and all she saw was the pit made out of brambles and branches. "Ready?" Onestar asked.
"Ready for wh- GAHHHH!" Onestar pushed her off the edge of the boulder, and she fell. She landed right next to the pit.
"Oh, foxdung. I missed. Lets try again!" They repeated the act of jumping on the boulders.
"Ready, set, go!" Onestar pushed her off again, and this time she hit her target.
"Good job, Onestar!" Leafpool meowed. "Now what?"
"Bye, Leafpool." Onestar padded away.
"Wait, I'm confused." Leafpool said to herself. This was becoming one of her most said phrases. "Hello? Anybody there? Heeeeeeellloooooooo?"
"Shut UP, Leafpool!"
"Quit talking to yourself!"
"Go to sleep or something!"
"Mousedung," Leafpool muttered under her breath, then curled up and went to bed.