A/N: I wanted to make a spoof but write an epic story at the same time. xD If you wanna see the rest of the series, here it is: Crazy --I am a unicorn on RitalinBecause even unicorns have ADHD. 20:22, August 30, 2012 (UTC)
Chapter 1-Meet AwesomeClan
I raced through the forest, dodging branches and limbs. I had to get away from my crazy Clan. I didn't want to be turned into one of... them. It scared me. I never wanted to become a warrior, because to become a warrior you had to be crazy.
"HEEEEEEEEY BROOKPAW!!!!!!" I screeched to a halt, my breath quickening. Warriors leaped out of the bushes, claws unsheathed. I hissed.
"Leave me alone! I'm not read to become a warrior!" I snarled. The giggled and moved in closer towards me.
"But Brookpaw it's SOOOO much FUUUUN!!!! Don't you want an iPhone???" The cat whipped out a sqaure device that beeped and buzzed. "You can check your Facebook with it!!!!!" the cat squealed, tapping away at the device. I felt my heartbeat quicken.
"Never! You'll never take me!" I tried to dash away, but a cat caught me and held me down.
"Brookpaw, PLEEEEEEASE????" they pleaded. "It would make Justin Bieber so happy!" I hissed, but the tom was stronger than me.
"Fine. Take me back," I meowed, defeated. They giggled and lead me back to camp.
Our camp looked normal from the outside. Bramble-bush barriers, trees, a path beaten into the ground by countless pawsteps leading inside.The cats grabbed my scruff and led me inside, and I groaned when I saw the new camp renovations.
Lining the brambles were Justin Bieber, Twilight, Cody Simpson, and countless other posters plastered to the bushes. A boom-box in the center of the camp was blasting Everybody Talks by Neon Trees around camp, and every cat was dancing erratically. Streamers hung from trees and a brown tabby cat was spray-painting the MeetingRock bright green. A disco ball hung from a large pine, with Derpfang and Sparklybird, the two Clan lovers, kissing underneath it. I groaned as I noticed Bigmouth, Koolioclaw, and Nemofish whooping and shoving catnip into their faces. Somebody needed to ban that stuff, seriously.
"Brookpaw! Psst!" I turned to see Wafflepaw's tawny head sticking out of the bushes. I slipped behind them, and saw all the apprentices sitting wide-eyed in a circle.
"What's wrong?" I asked curiously. Wafflepaw did a quick head count- all the apprentices were here... except one. "Where's Jinglepaw?"
Epicpaw, a pretty black she-cat, sighed and shook her head sadly. "This morning he went... crazy." I gasped.
"But Jinglepaw was one of the most level-headed apprentices here! If anyone can resist the crazyness, then it would be him!" Epicpaw blinked back tears, and I felt them coming to my eyes. I quickly wiped the hot tears away.
"I'm sorry, Brookpaw. I wi-" Epicpaw was interrupted by Churrostar's yowl.
"All cats join under the MeetingRock for a funky Clan meeting!" Churrostar yowled. Cats filed into the clearing, along with us. I gasped when I saw Jinglepaw up with Churrostar. He was getting his warrior name!
"This young apprentice had reached the level of FULLY AWESOME and is ready to become an apprentice!" Churrostar yowled again. Jinglepaw grinned.
"COOL STORY BRO, TELL IT AGAIN!!" someone yowled from the crowd, which was followed by cheesy-sitcom-laughter. I hid a grimace. It was getting worse.
Churrostar giggled like a little girl, and motioned Jinglepaw up to the MettingRock. Jinglepaw skipped up. "Jinglepaw, do you promise to be epic?" Churrostar meowed solemly. Jinglepaw nodded erratically, his tongue out and lolling like a dog's. "Then from now on, Jinglepaw, you are Jingleturtle, warrior of AwesomeClan!"
Jingleturtle started to giggle as everyone chanted his name. "Jingleturtle! Jingleturtle! Jingleturtle!"
Churrostar flicked his tail for silence and then looked at Jingleturtle. "Jingleturtle," he meowed seriously, "it is time for the most important thing of all." The Clan was silent with anticipation. Churrostar handed Jingleturtle a slip of paper. "I grant you this $5 Starbucks giftcard!" The Clan went wild, cheering and yowling and dancing. The disco ball turned back on, and Jingleturtle leapt off of the MeetingRock and danced freely underneath it, grabbing OMGpelt and kissing her repeatedly. She laughed and kissed him back, her paws clutching at his shoulders. Brookpaw turned away, horror filling her stomach. Jingleturtle had gone completely crazy. Who was next?
Chapter 2- The Dance of the Flying Avocado
I studied my paws quietly. It was 2 AM, and Jingleturtle and his new friends were still partying. I moaned and put my paws over my ears.
Epicpaw patted my back with her tail. "It's alright, Brookpaw. They'll stop partying in a sec."
How wrong she was.
The sun rose slowly over the camp clearing filled with sleeping, drooling cats. Bigmouth and Koolioclaw still clutched their leaf-rolls filled with catnip, their mouths gaping and dripping drool as they snored noisily.
But Jingleturtle was the worst casualty of all. He was now kissing LOLfur, OMGpelt's twin. Their tails twined together and their drool dripped into one.
Churrostar groaned, and sat up blearily from where he was sleeping in the middle of the camp, wiping the drool sleepily from his mouth. "Whu happund?" he mumbled, rubbing his head with his paw. I ducked back inside the apprentices den so he wouldn't see me.
Jingleturtle and LOLpelt woke up right after him. Jingleturtle moaned and rubbed his head. LOLpelt did the same.
"Omg, boyfriend, I've like, got this, like, hangover," she said in her squeaky, stereo-typical voice. Jingleturtle nodded, and then stood up, making his way over to OMGpelt, who had also just woken up.
"Omg! Jingleturtle!" OMGpelt meowed in her squeaky voice that sounded exactly like her twin's. "I though, like, we were over!"
Jingleturtle grabbed OMGpelt at the exact same time someone turned on cheesy 'Love at First Sight' music. "I'll never be over you, baby," he said, leaning in to kiss her. OMGpelt shrugged him away.
"OMG, boyfriend! First we need a, like, Facebook picture!" They posed in front of OMGpelt's sparkly pink iPhone patterned with unicorns. They resumed kissing after that.