If Leafpool Were Leader

If Leafpool were leader

This is what would happen if Leafpool took over Thunderclan

PART 1

Leafpool: HELLO EVERY CAT! My first decree as a leader is that everyone is to be a medicine cat! :)

Brambleclaw: (le loud cricket noises)

Leafpool: Brambleclaw is Exiled!

Brambleclaw: ... wHFWEHFLEHFLKJLLKSKCLLFHLHLFHOURHLHflHLDHFlkdjflkjlfLjhOFEIhLIJEWorST LEADAER OJGLHLWH LEAF LJGL{POOL} (Leaves camp)

leafpool: Now, second rule! I can marry Crowfeather!

Starclan: YOU LITTLE @$#!%$$%&&#@$#$%%%&*F%%$$#%%#@S@S$#@#%$

Leafpool: (le ignores) Also, Brightheart is exiled because I am jealous.

Half the clan (including Brightheart): (Leaves)

Leafpool: What was that about?

Dustpelt: They were all Brightheart fans.

Leafpool: Ur fired Dustpelt.

Dustpelt: From what

Leafpool: Fired from life. Now go stand under a tree until it falls on you.

Dustpelt: ... (leaves)

Everyone except Leafpool and Squirrelflight: (also leaves)

Leafpool: what was THAT about?

Squirrelflight: Everyone else in the clan was secretly a Dustpelt fan.

Leafpool: (le facepalm)

Should I make another one? Pls give suggestions in the comments!

I made this trash because I was suffering from writers block and needed to write some nonsense. No hate, please.

UPDATE! I AM MAKING MORE OF THIS <3

PART 2

Leafpool: (le chases Dustpelt) COME BACK!

Dustpelt: (Hides under a tree) NAW! NANANABOOBOO YOU ARE A POOPOO\

Tree: (falls on Dustpelt)

Dustpelt: (le dies)

All Dustpelt fans: (Looks at Leafpool murderously) GET HER!

Leafpool: Something tells me those cats aren't very happy.

Squirrelflight: RUN YOU IDIOT!

A bit longer than a few moments later...

Leafpool: I think we lost them...

Crowfeather: Oh hi Leafpool!

Leafpool: OMGOMGOMGOGMOGMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMMGOMGOMGOMGOMG KHFHFKHIHDIHKGHKDGHKHJGKJSHDKJHKSDJFHKJHDGHDSFLHSFJLSKDKJFD I LUV UKSHDFJSDHSHDS<DMFNLSDJHLDSKH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Crowfeather: ... (promptly dies)

Leafpool: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Squirrelflight: ... I'm gonna go join the angry mob of Dustpelt fans now. They're right behind you.

Leafpool: ... (turns around) GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Please comment to save Leafpool or I might kill her.

UPDATE: I AM NOT KILLING LEAFPOOL

Part 3

Longtail: (le knocks out Leafpool) BRING HER BACK TO THE TRIBAL LANDS!

Squirrelflight: Wait, what now?

Around fifteen minutes later

Leafpool: (le wakes up in cage) ... Why do I feel like this is the least weird thing that has happened to me?

Longtail: THE SACRIFICE HAS AWOKEN! GIVE HER TO OUR GOD! (le points to Dustpelt's corpse) O GREAT GOD DUSTPELT! DO YOU LIKE OUR GIFT!

Dustpelt's corpse: (is dead)

Longtail: DUSTPELT GOD LOVES IT! THROW HER INTO THE DUST PIT!

Leafpool: What is the Dust Pit? OH NO YOU DON- (is thrown into a used vacuum cleaner dust bag) YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (muffled)

Longtail: (looks at the entrance of the tribal grounds) INTRUDERS! WHO DARES LOOK UPON THE SACRIFICIAL RITUAL OF THE DUSTPELT FAN TRIBE!

The mob of angry Brightheart fans: DUSTPELT IS A FAKE GOD! ALL HAIL GODDESS BRIGHTHEART! (Lifts

Brightheart above their heads and cheers)

Brightheart: HELP.

Leafpool: (rips through dust bag) Ok, this is the weirdest thing that has happened all day. I take back what I said earlier. (runs through the Brightheart fans) IM COMING! (saves Brightheart) RUUUUUUUUUUUUN!

Brightheart: RIGHT BEHIND YOU! (grabs Dustpelt's corpse and runs)

Dustpelt and Brightheart tribes: OUR GODS! THEY HAVE STOLEN OUR GODS! GET THEM! (begins to maul each other) WAIT! WE SHOULD CATCH OUR GODS FIRST! (runs after Leafpool, Brightheart and Dustpelt's corpse)

Leafpool: OH NOES! THEY WILL CATCH US!

TheWarriorTraitor: (picks up a pencil and teleports all of the escapees far away from the mobs)

Leafpool: That was close- HEY WHO ARE YOU?

TheWarriorTraitor: I am your creator! You are all part of a story that I wrote!

Leafpool: Wait... YOU put us through all those crazy situations?!

TheWarriorTraitor: Yup! Uh... why are you coming so close? Personal space? UH... WHY DO YOU LOOK SO ANG- GAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Leafpool and Brightheart: (mauls TheWarriorTraitor viciously) HIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Guys, please save me from these crazy cats! Comment for them to go away, please!

Part 4

TheWarriorTraitor: (teleports away) GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

Leafpool: Ok, now what?

Brightheart: I don't know, ask Dustpelt!

Dustpelt's corpse: (is dead)

Leafpool: He is dead.

Brightheart: Oh. My bad. I think we should give him a proper burial first then before we do anything.

Leafpool: Agreed.

A few hours later

Brightheart: Did we really have to dig a six-foot deep hole? Isn't that for two-legs?

Leafpool: (reading a copy of graves and burials) err... that is what it says in this book.

Brightheart: Written by humans.

Leafpool: I don't care.

Brightheart: ... ok......

Leafpool: Now, we should find some shelter. (opens a book called HIKE HIKE HIKE) And we should... err... hike?

Brightheart: (burns all the books) FOCUS

Leafpool: RIGHT RIGHT! Um... do you think Shadowclan will take us in?

Brightheart: Obviously not. Windclan is the nicest clan.

Leafpool: But they are all skinny bois.

Brightheart: True... and fish tastes bad.

Leafpool: I KNOW! LETS JOIN BLOOD'CLAN!

Brightheart: That is wrong on so many levels. I LIKE IT!