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Essay
This page contains a fan fiction written by Arti.
This page contains the opinions of the original author(s), and is not patrolled for factual accuracy.
Remember that this story is non-canon. It may contain false characters, plots, or locations.
Responses, comments & other feedback should be made on the comments section below.


BTW, I'm doing this mostly with Foxpaw because he's already crazy, so it's easier. xD

Hey, you guys can add ideas to the talk page, but please don't edit this page directly. Thanks.

Arti doesn't own the warrior characters or songs in this.

ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





1. Ash philosophical questions randomly.

Firestar: So I was thinking-

Foxpaw: Is Strawberry a full warrior name or the first half of one?

Firestar: *feels deep, philosophical, calmness*

Squirrelflight: o.O


2. Give your Clanmates math nicknames.

Foxpaw: So where're we going Phythagrium Therom?

Sandstorm: O_O

Toadpaw: Heh. Funny name...

Foxpaw: Shut up Pi.


3. Prove to yur mentor you don't need cheatsheets.

Squirrelflight: Foxpaw, what Clan are we?

Foxpaw: *has no cheatsheet* Oh, um....um...*looks at Honeypaw's cheatsheet* ShadowClan?

Squirrelflight* *facepalm*

Honeypaw: *whispers* That's the manufacturer of the cheatsheets.

Foxpaw: Mouse-dung.


4. Flaunt

Foxpaw: *singing* I AM SO SMART! S-M-R-T!!! S-M-R-T!!!!


5. Try your hardest to become a warrior as soon as possible.

Foxpaw: Can I be a warrior today?

Squirrelflight: No.

Foxpaw: Can I be a warrior today?

Squirrelflight: No.

Foxpaw: Can I be a warrior today?

Squirrelflight: No.

Foxpaw: Can I be a warrior today?

Squirrelflight: No.

Foxpaw: Can I be a warrior today?

Squirrelflight: Yes.

Foxpaw: YES! *dances*

Squirrelflight: On second thought....no. >:)


6. Speak in forgien languges. (2 parts)

Part 1:

Foxpaw: *in fox* Hello friend.

Badger: >.> *growls*

Foxpaw: That's not very nice! You know, you people almost killed my dad that one time you came into our camp and trampled our food! And then I wouldn't be here!

Squirrelflight: *takes off badger mask* And what a shame that would be.

Part 2:

Foxpaw: *pads in to training* Guess what?

Squirrelflight, Icepaw, and Whitewing: *reluctantly* What....

Foxpaw: I am going to speak ShadowClan!

Everyone else: ...

Foxpaw: *turns away and takes deep calming breaths, then turns back around* Hello.

  • no one says anything and somewhere in the forest, a cricket sounds*

Foxpaw: WHAT?

Icepaw: Oh, sorry, was that it? *pretends to look astonished*


7. Become a diplomat.

Foxpaw: *walking with Squirrelflight to ShadowClan*

Squirrelflight: Now remember we really need some frogs so we can creep out Firestar and make him loose his last -4 lives, so be nice!

  • in Shadowclan camp*

Blackstar: Frogs....well sure you can have them! They taste like crap anyways!

Foxpaw: *attacks him*

Squirrelflight: Foxpaw....WTH????

Foxpaw: I'm negotiating!

Squirrelflight: ....*sneaks off with the frogs*


8. Learn the customs and traditions of other Clans.

Minnowpaw: ...And then we throw the dead fish at the Twolegplace and chant while dancing around a pile of fish carcasses....

Foxpaw: Uh-huh.

Minnowpaw: And then we thank StarClan for everything and we...

Foxpaw: Can I say something?

Minnowpaw: ....Sure

Foxpaw: I made a poem about your RiverClan celebration things. It contains a bunch of words I think describe it.

Minnowpaw: ....

Foxpaw: Ahem. *climbs onto Oak Tree* RiverClan is.....CREEPY!!!! SICK!!!! FISH-FACES!!!! UGLY!!!! MORONS!!! WEIRDOS!!!! SATANIC!!! HATERS!!!!

Minnowpaw: *strangles him*

Foxpaw: *choking* Always learn the traditions of a Clan so you can make fun of it.


9. Respect the dead.

Firestar: *sees Kermit the Frog on TV and looses -4th life*

Leafpool: Wait for it, he'll come back...

Firestar: *stays dead*

Leafpool: *puzzled* huh. *shrugs* Well, there's a first time for everything.

  • at the Vigil*

Foxpaw: *comes up to Firestar's body, sniffles* You lived way too long, but I'm very sad you're dead. *pokes him* That was way more fun to do when you were alive! *pokes him some more!

Squirrelflight: Foxpaw....have you ever heard of a term called 'Abusing the Corpse'?

Foxpaw: *has started jumping on Firestar's body and sobbing* This was more fun when you were alive too!

Squirrelflight: SECURITY!!!!


10. See into the future.

Foxpaw: *with Icepaw and Hollypaw* Watch this...in one second, Toadpaw is going to choke and die!"

Toadpaw: *stops eating his squirrel, chokes, then keels over*

Hollypaw: Woah...how'd you know that?!

Foxpaw: Well, I may have spiked his squirrel with deathberries..


11. Speak at Gatherings.

Blackstar: ShadowClan is great blahblahblah

Foxpaw: *stands* I have something I'd like to say!

Blackstar: Young whippersnapper! When Firestar asked you three minutes ago if you had anything to say, you said no!

Foxpaw: That's a matter of opinion! Anyways, I would like you all to know how my training has been going. But to give you the best idea, I'll have to walk you through my entire moon...

Everyoner else: *GROAN*

Foxpaw: So, let us begin as I was coming back from last moon's Gathering...

  • three hours later*

Foxpaw: And we finally made it back to camp after the Gathering. The next day...

Squirrelflight: *knocks Foxpaw over the head with Leafpool and drags him into the bushes*


12. Embrace the art of music.

Foxpaw: *creeping alongside Squirrelflight, unseen, singing softly* Now and then I think of when we were together...

Squirrelflight: Brambleclaw, stoppit.

Foxpaw: Like resignation to the end...always the end..

Squirrelflight: Ashfur, I'll rip your throat out.

Foxpaw: So when you said that we could not make sense, well you said that we would still be friends...

Squirrelflight: Knock it off Stormfur..

Foxpaw: But I'll admit that I was glad it was over...

Squirrelflight: What did I do to wrong you Crowfeather!?

Foxpaw: NOW YOU'RE JUST SOMEBODY THAT I UUUUSED TO- wait, Corwfeather?!

Squirrelflight: Got yA! *tackles him*

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