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small note, this is going to switch P.O.V's so here is smol bean guide:

  • Italic lyrics are Swiftbreeze's P.O.V
  • Bold italic lyrics are Silversong's P.O.V.
  • Normal is the story part.

thank u. ~Blackmoon

Loving and Fighting,

Accusing Denying,

Swiftbreeze twined his tail with his mate Silversong's as they walked along the border of ThunderClan and WindClan. His mates beautiful long pale silver fur was softer than a feather. His dark grey fur blended in with the night better though. Thunder sounded above them and it started to rain heavily. They ran for shelter in the closest bush. They laughed together as they laid down next to each other. Swiftbreeze swore to himself that he would always protect his mate. Even if she was ThunderClan.

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It had been eight days and the storm had only gotten worse. Swiftbreeze was seeing his mate Silversong today though. She always made things better, no matter how bad things were. The moon was a sliver and it was time. He snuck out of the camp. He reached to Fourtrees and saw his secret mate in the middle of the clearing. She caught sight of him, running to touch noses with him. They twined tails and talked about how they were doing. Swiftbreeze's mate's eyes shone a bright green despite the dark night. It took an embarassing long time for them to realize it was pouring. They went under the nearest tree, hopping up into its branches. As long as Swiftbreeze was with his mate, nothing was wrong.

The next night, Swiftbreeze had snuck out of camp again, to meet with his beloved. He found her pacing underneath the branch of one of the Fourtrees. He raced to her, worried. He asked what was wrong. She replied, "I'm having kits! And I think they're yours!" Swiftbreeze couldn't understand Silversong's worry. They were going to be parents! He twined his tail happily with hers but she pulled away. He didn't understand why she was upset.

"I'm such a mousebrain, we should never have become mates! And now I'm expecting and it's all your fault!" she yowled. What was wrong with her?

"Excuse me? Silversong, are you ok?" Swiftbreeze tried to comfort his mate, but she wouldn't calm down.

"No! I'm not ok! I'm expecting your kits! That is not ok! When they are born, their very existence would be breaking the warrior code! I'm dead when my Clan finds out." she groaned in frustration and defeat. Anger swelled up in Swiftbreeze. These were his kits too! Why is she acting like this? She was so excited to be a mother in the past, what was making her so miserable now? He didn't understand her right now, but she could at least pretend to be happy if she wasn't actually. She loved him and he loved her. Why was she suddenly obsessed about how they're breaking the code. Their relationship was breaking the code! She wasn't worried then. So why now? Fury took control of him as he yowled,

"These are my kits too! Not just yours! Why are you acting so selfish? If you didn't want to break the code, then why are you meeting me almost every night? Do you even love me? I'm so confused! Just go! If you don't want the kits, even though I do, then when they're born, Bring them here and I will take them to WindClan with me. Since you don't love them or me anymore." his voice was sad as he finished the last sentence. Silversong looked at him with shocked horror and sadness. Her face suddenly twisted with rage when she yowled,

"Fine! I don't need you!" and then he never saw her again.

I can't imagine a world with you gone.

Swiftbreeze sat up panting. His face was wet from tears. He lifted his most likely sad and sorrowful gaze on the night-sky. the storm clouds covered the moon and barely any stars could be seen. The storm hasn't been getting any better, and every cat is worried. Great StarClan, what are we going to do? RiverClan's camp is flooded and they had to move closer to our territory, all the prey is hiding, is this punishment? And for what? He shook his head. The tom decided to go on a walk. During the night it would rain, but not as much as in the morning. There was no guard at the entrance which only half surprised the tom. He left the camp and went to the Fourtrees automatically. He sat under a bush and thought to himself, I don't think I could ever imagine a world without you Silversong, I can't live without you.

The joy and the chaos,

The demons we're made of,

Silversong and Swiftbreeze were racing through the trees, the wind in their fur. This was the Second day they met in the night. The moon looked full but it since the full moon gathering was the previous day, it was not a full full moon. The stars shone brightly and it was a cloudless night. This was the most fun the she-cat had had in a very long time. She felt joy spending time with her WindClan mate. Maybe, just maybe, she thought, Swiftbreeze was the one. There was no one else in ThunderClan who made her feel like this, but he did. His laughter and his smile could make her lose her breath. She hoped they would never have to meet in battle. Swiftbreeze was her perfect match, and brought her joy whenever she just thought about the tom. This was the night they snuck into two-leg place. They were going to see why kittypets would want to live here. It was so chaotic! The noise was deafening! So much was going on, she was surprised that she wasn't blind or deaf already. There were so many lights and so many monsters with two-legs walking everywhere, the two cats turned tail and ran back to the forest.

"Why would kittypets ever want to live in a place like that?" Swiftbreeze panted. Silversong shook her head.

"I haven't the slightest clue." she replied.

"Dawn will be here soon, we should get going-" he was cut off by the she-cat pinning him.

"Got you!" she squealed. They then fought until the black sky was dark blue. Silversong and Swiftbreeze said their goodbyes, then left to go back to their own territories. This was one of her favorite nights with him.

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Her thoughts then drifted to the night they ended their relationship. She was sitting in her nest in the nursery. I'm sorry my love, Whitestar made me! He knew and told me to end it or he would kill us both. I didn't want to! A single tear ran down her cheek. Her kits were due in five moons, and she couldn't think about anything else but how much she'd miss them when she gave them to their father. She decided to take a walk in the rain. It didn't pour as much at night as it did day, so a wet pelt was fine my her. She automatically walked to the Fourtrees. All of her memories with Swiftbreeze were here. The good, and the bad. She wanted to be able to stay with him, but her life, his life, and their kits' lives depended on what she did. By now, Silversong couldn't tell if it was rain, or tears streaming down her face. All she did know, is that she was sorry. Sorry for what she did. Sorry for ever speaking those words.

"I wish, I just wish that we could still be together. I love you so much Swiftbreeze, but our lives, even our kits' lives depends on the choice I made. It was for them. I'm so sorry. I wish I could take it all back-"

"Silversong?" a voice, just as familiar as her own, cut her off.

"Swiftbreeze? What are you doing here?" she turned to face the dark grey tom of her dreams, to find him soaking wet and glaring at her with pain. And hatred.

"I could ask you the same. I only decided to go on a walk to clear my head and ended up walking here automatically. You?" he said blankly. The she-cat stared at her paws.

"Same. I needed to get away from," Whitestar, she almost said, "camp."

"Ok. Well, if you're here I'm leaving. Bye Silversong." and he started to walk away. She didn't want him to leave though.

"Wait!" she yowled. The word slipped out of her mouth before she could stop it. He turned back to face her.

"What?" He growled. She winced. She was about to tell him everything when she saw blue eyes, glaring at her through the bushes. She shivered. Whitestar is here! Oh StarClan.

"I just wanted to say goodbye to you too. May StarClan light your path Swiftbreeze." and then he was gone, and she was alone with blue eyes.

I'd be so lost if you left me alone.

It had only been a day since Silversong had run into her former secret mate. She was laying in her nest, watching her friend's kits playing in their nest. Ever since she had ended her relationship with Swiftbreeze, she felt empty. Lost. Like life wasn't worth living without him. She had to fight the urge to tell him everything. To sneak into his camp and explain every detail. But, she was being constantly watched by her leader. There's a full moon tonight, and because I'm stuck here I can't go. StarClan help me. If only I could still be able to arrange something with him. She tried to forget about it all. Him, Whitestar, everything. She couldn't wait for their kits to come at least. Because then, something good could come out of everything happening. The she-cat still felt empty without Swiftbreeze to be able to talk to. She missed him so much, it hurt. Physically and emotionally. If only there was a way to be able to talk to him, to explain everything without Whitestar listening. Her eyelids grew heavy and she drifted into sleep. She awoke in a clearing. She was standing in the middle of it with only trees surrounding her. She could hear the wind rustling the leaves. She heard something whisper in her ear, you cannot let Whitestar keep you from Swiftbreeze, he is in danger! The word danger echoed then was lost in the wind. She awoke, painting heavily and crying. She didn't know why she was, but she was crying. She noticed that it was night, and cats had already left to the gathering. She lowered her head, thinking. I'm lost and broken without you Swiftbreeze. Please StarClan, if you're listening, help him understand that I didn't want to do this. That I still need him. That I really am lost and don't know what to do without him.

You locked yourself in the bathroom,

Laying on the floor when I break through,

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