left to rot
left to decay
that's what this is
shades of gray
part thirty four of Days Until Heartbreak
I wake up to a terrible, throbbing pain. I find that it's my head that is hurting to much and I lift a paw to my head and pull it away, feeling the blood. I groan and try to sit up and find that it doesn't quite work the way I want it to. I'm half hunched over, my head feeling like a million stones.
When I finally drag myself up, my head resting against the stone wall, my whole body leaning against it, the world spins. It takes another moment for the world to still and even then, my vision is blurry.
After what seems like hours, I finally focus on a lone figure waiting for me. "You're awake," she says dryly, a smirk on her face.
I hiss in surprise and draw back, but there's nowhere to go. My back is already pressed against the back of the wall and Shineblossom stalks closer. "I'm disappointed," she snorts, "I would expect more of a fight from you and yet here you are and you're shying away like the coward you are."
"If you know I'm a coward, why are you disappointed?"
Shineblossom turns, her green eyes flashing with poison. "You won't be so quick to have smart remarks like that when I'm through with you," she hisses.
I raise my chin. "What's the worst you can do, bat your eyelashes?"
Shineblossom snarls but somehow refrains herself from hitting me just yet. "I have a special visitor for you, and I think I'll let her go first," Shineblossom bares her teeth at me before stepping back.
I'm not too shocked when Kayli steps in, her blue eyes filled with venom and hatred. "I see the monster has been restrained," she eyes me with distaste, "I didn't know you were so weak."
I bite my lip. It felt better tossing insults at Shineblossom, who was my sworn enemy because of her liking of Ice, but Kayli was my own creation. I may have not admitted it before, but surely my actions had turned Kayli like this. Her light gray pelt has been erased of the scars she carried from her time in the Dump, and her body is lean and muscular, her claws glistening.
"Scared?" She gloats, "I can't wait for you to scream your heart out for everyone to hear."
When I try to ask what she meant, Kayli lunges for me, seizing me up and dragging me outside. "We'll start outside first," she whispers in my ear, "maybe your little she-cat followers will hear. Or maybe Ice. I hear from Shineblossom you stole her tom."
"I did no such thing," I snap.
Kayli laughs a cold laugh and drops me off, grabbing a vine I didn't even know was wrapped around my paws and tying it to a tree. "Don't you feel so useless, Sari? Well allow me to show you what being tortured feels like."
Her paw flies forward, smacking me in the cheek. I growl but I don't cry out in pain, despite the way my cheek throbs. We're close enough to the border that anyone passing by could hear us, but couldn't see us. But I know very well that if I cry out, anyone would recognize me.
Kayli's blows rain down hard on me, and I bite down on my tongue, refusing the scream. "Come on!" Kayli raves, "Scream!"
Blood is flowing around us, staining my pelt, her claws, my paws. But still I don't open my mouth. I sag under the pain, and I screw my eyes shut, determined to not give in like Kayli had in the Dump.
I would not let her control me.
I don't know when Kayli stops, but she drags me to my paws and parades me back through camp and into my prison. "Sweet dreams, Sari," she whispers, "tomorrow will be worse."
~
True to her promise, tomorrow is worse. Every day is filled with pain and Kayli's own shouting. Every day holds its new tortures as she brings me to the same place.
But never once do I cry out.
Finally, one day, Kayli seats herself in front of me, her blue eyes alight with rage and madness. I wonder if beating me gives her any satisfaction.
"All right, I think I know what I need to do." Kayli smiles wickedly, "I wanted to save his for later, but Shineblossom has a hold of your beloved little Ice. She is doing whatever she wants with him right now."
A gasp escapes me. "You're lying," I hiss, glaring at Kayli. "You're bluffing to get me to talk."
"No," Kayli smirks, "I would love to show you, but alas Shineblossom will never allow me to."
"Show me or I won't talk!" I narrow my eyes, "I know how desperate you are to get me to break. I won't let a petty lie like this break me."
"Sari--!"
My heart plummets. Shineblossom has one paw pinning Ice down, and she is whispering something into his ear. The ferns had parted to show Ice himself. "You've had him there?" I choke out, "Just to hear you torturing me?"
Ice tries to throw his weight against Shineblossom, but the cream colored she-cat holds him down. "Look at her, Ice, remember her because this is the last chance you'll get." She leans closer and I barely catch her next words. "You're mine."
And then Kayli seizes me and begins to drag me away, but my eyes connect with Ice, and all I see are the depths of them and the sorrow contained within.
~
After two weeks, I'm beginning to wonder what Kayli wants from me. She doesn't ask me any questions, she merely tries to beat a scream out of me. But after seeing Ice that day, I refused to let her get the better of me. Ice could be just behind the bushes, pinned down by Shineblossom to hear my cries. I couldn't torture him like that also.
But the pain stops fading and finally choked sobs fly out of my throat. I can almost hear a strangled cry from behind the bushes, but that doesn't stop the screams from finally escaping.
Kayli crows in obvious delight and the questions start. But I can't answer any of them. I won't. I let the screams go but the answers stay lodged in my throat.
"Must I ask Shineblossom to torture Ice in front of you to get you to talk?" Kayli asks me one day, her blue eyes dark.
My breath comes out in tiny gasps and I don't even know if I can see her anymore. Pain washes over me in waves and I collapse to the floor.
"Don't make me ask that of her," Kayli whispers in my ear as I feel the world fade away around me, "remember that she does have Ice in her own paws."
Gray. The world wasn't black. It was definitely different shades of gray.
That's the only explanation I had for the pain and the darkness edging around the corners.