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Desolate

About a Girl | Give Me a Second Go | It's Over, Casanova | What Makes You Beautiful | Kiss It All Better | Dark Side | Summer Love | Satellite | Over Again | Forever and Always | Paradise | Turning Tables

Part of the Songfic Series.

OA is Kelly Clarkson

Written by Red

Dark SideThere's a place that I know

It's not pretty there and few have ever gone

If I show it to you now

Will it make you run away

The image of her tawny-colored pelt was glued to my eyelids, her confused and terrified blue eyes attached to my mind. Her darker ears and tail - I can picture the exact places where her markings end, where they begin, and it's driving me crazy. I'm in love.

But she doesn't know what I've done.

And I don't want her to.

I couldn't know what she would think - how she would react to my plans. It's not every day you find out your almost-mate is an evil, criminal mastermind who's plotting to destroy and take over the whole forest. I don't know what I'd do if I was confronted with that knowledge. Then again, I would be - I am - the evil one, so that...it cancels out.

Would she leave?

Or will you stay

Even if it hurts

Even if I try to push you out

Will you return?

Or would she stay?

I couldn't know what she would think - but maybe....maybe she loves me enough to return to me, to see past all of this...this bad exterior, and into my heart, where everything is pure, and--

But my heart isn't pure, so that wouldn't make a difference.

"Go away, Sasha," I hissed. "We don't need you here."

I could see the hurt flashing in her eyes, I could imagine it clearly. I would push her out, so she wouldn't have to be a part of this. So she wouldn't have to be the mate of some infamous, traitorous, rogue who half-destroyed the forest home of the Clans.

And remind me who I really am

Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

When I met her again, I was totally unprepared. I didn't know what to think, but the look on her face was enough to tell me that she had overheard me talking about my plans - and that she knew what I was going to do.

There go my plans for slowly revealing the truth to her. She was practically drowning in the truth, I could see it in those lovely, clear, beautiful blue eyes of hers--

"Tigerstar?"

"I'm sorry!" I burst out. "I didn't mean to--I mean, I love you, and--"

Sasha let a small smile escape her lips, and she brushed my ear with her soft-tipped tail. "Hush," she says, and her eyes are loving. My heart swells.

She does love me.

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

"Nobody's perfect, after all," she says later, our eyes on the stars. I look over and see the moonlight and the starlight reflected off of her glassy blue eyes, and suppress a smile. Nobody's perfect, she had said.

And she was right.

"I knew coming back to you was worth it," Sasha purrs as we get ready to depart.

"I knew accepting you was worth it," I reply, letting her nuzzle me on the neck. I twin my tail with hers, and then let my eyes stray to the horizon, where hints of pink are just beginning to appear, heralding the coming dawn.

"I'd better go. See you!"

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

Like a diamond

From black dust

Would she continue to love me, though, when she knew the full extent of what I was going to do? Sure, she knew what I had done....but what of what was to come? What would she think of me then?

Would she still love me?

It's hard to know

What can become

If you give up

So don't give up on me

"I know you can change," Sasha whispers at our next meeting. "I won't give up on you."

She touched my ear with her nose, stretching up on her toes. Our tails touched, and she purred, a deep rumbling in the back of her throat.

"I love you," she whispers.

"I love you too."

Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

I toss and turn in my sleep - overcome with visions of myself, dark, tabby pelt splattered with blood, eyes alight with malice, claws curling, scraping trails in pools of blood. The gathered crowd of cats around me look with wide eyes, limbs stiff with terror.

Then Sasha appears, and I relax. My pelt is clean, the cats smile at me, purring.

I wake up with a start.

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

"You love me?" I whisper to Sasha, "you really do?"

"Of course I do," she purrs, twining her tail with mine. "No one's perfect, Tigerstar. We all have our faults. Even you - and I love you for your imperfections."

Imperfections. I snort to myself.

Even with my dark side?

Don't run away

Don't run away

Just tell me that you will stay

"I love you," I tell Sasha that very same night. "I love you. Promise me you'll stay. Swear on StarClan!"

"Tigerstar..." I see doubt flickering in her eyes.

"Please," I plead. "Please."

Promise me you will stay

Don't run away

Don't run away

Just promise me you will stay

"I dunno..." she says, shuffling her paws. "I mean, what if..."

"You don't trust me to be good, do you?" I reply bitterly.

Alarm flickers across her features. "No, Tigerstar, of course, that's not it!"

"It is," I protest. "Sasha, it is, don't lie to me!"

Promise me you will stay

Will you love me? ohh

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me? A mask of hurt slides onto Sasha's face, turning her blue eyes dark with misery. Her mouth curled down into a sad smile, her pretty pink nose drooping as she bowed her head, and shuffled her dark brown paws in the dirt. I watch in dismay as her sleek tawny slips through the trees, tail drooping.

"Everyone has a little bit of a dark side," I whisper after her, but she doesn't turn.

I'm overcome with bitterness as I whirl around, storming back to our camp and scattering a bunch of RiverClan apprentices just with a flash of my eyes.

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it I curl my tail around my nose as I settle down in my den. I should have realized that she doubted my abilities in the beginning - that she never had loved me, really, she just wanted a stab at my power. Once she saw that I wasn't going to massacre the whole forest, she must have backed down.

"She-cats," I mumble to myself, then think of Leopardstar.

A powerful, beautiful, ambitious she-cat. She always looked to me with light in her eyes - a sign of her loyalty. A rare beam of brilliance amongst she-cats.

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

Don't run away

Don't run away

The next day, I search for Sasha, I search to tell her that I guess I could never love her enough to please her, but she's not there. The worst sort of thoughts come over me, until I'm pleading with myself that my dreams about killing her, about sinking my claws into her soft flesh, about parting her tawny fur, I'm hoping that they weren't true, that I didn't execute my fleeting desires.

As my search proves fruitless, however, I'm forced to accept the truth.

Don't run away

Promise you'll stay

She ran away - even after admitting that coming back to me was 'worth it'.

I don't know what 'worth it' means anymore.

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