Whitestorm- Hi there! I’m Whitestorm, Your host. And today we’re going to be filming-
Everyone- CLANS! GOT! TALENT!!!!!!!!!!!
Whitestorm- Yep! And today The judges are Jayfeather, Hazeltail, Stonefur, and Heathertail!
Hazeltail- Our first contestant will be...
Heathertail- Hey! That’s not fair! Isn’t he like, your brother or something?
Stonefur- What she’s trying to say is that you’ll vote for him.
Hazeltail- WHAT!?! I would never do that! Why would I vote for that mouse-brain?
Daisy- WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE YOUNG LADY!
Hazeltail- Leave me alone, MOM.
Graystripe- What’s a, ‘lady’?
Whitestorm- Moving on, what’s your act Berrynose?
Berrynose- Catching the most mice.
Whitestorm- Okay, but you’ll need a partner.
Mosspelt- Pick me! Pick me!
Jayfeather- And who might you be???
Mosspelt- A random background character the author picked out of the alliengences.
Whitestorm- *Sets timer.*
Heathertail- Okay then! And- Start!
Berrynose- *Starts stalking a plump mouse.*
Mosspelt- *Jumps on prey.*
Stonefur- One Mosspelt, Zero Berrynose.
Mosspelt- *Buries prey*
Berrynose- *Is about to catch mouse.*
Berrynose- Hey! What was that for!
Mosspelt- I was scaring of the prey you were about to catch.
Berrynose- Hey! Jayfeather! Is that even aloud!?!
Jayfeather- Technically yes.
Whitestorm- And... Times up! Mosspelt wins!
Hazeltail- *Votes No.*
Stonefur- *Votes No.*
Jayfeather- *Votes No.*
Heathertail- *Votes No.*
Whitestorm- And sorry, Mosspelt, you won’t be moving onto the next round.
Heathertail- Next act, ...Tigerstar???
Tigerstar- That’s me!
Judges- *Whisper Whisper*
Hazeltail- Uh... I don’t think we can let you on this show.
Whitestorm- Yeah. *Calls Security*
Scourge- This is security. What seems to be the problem.
Heathertail- HIM. *Points claw to Tigerstar.*
Scourge- Got it. Target confirmed. *Points watergun to Tigerstar*
Spottedleaf- *Squirts gun.*
Riverclan- *Rolls Eyes.*
Security- *Drags Tigerstar away.*
Stonefur- Okay.... Next act?
Lionblaze- YEAH! *Starts working out.*
Whitestorm- Uh... Is Lionblaze a body-builder or something?
Stonefur- Moving on, what’s your act?
Lionblaze- Well since you asked... Skateboarding down a ramp, jumping through a hoop of fire, lifting a 100 pound weight, and finally landing on the ground all in 1 minute.
Lionblaze- *Pulls out skateboard and winks at Heathertail.*
Lionblaze: *Hops on skateboard.*
Hawkfrost and Tigerstar: MWHAHAHAHAAH! *Lights skateboard ramp on fire.*
Lionblaze: *Is sent spiraling into a inferno of blazing flames.*
Stonefur: Uh, Is he OK?
Jayfeather: Just watch...
Lionblaze: Jumps off of the burning ramp and into the firey hoop, grabs 100 pound weight, and lands on ground.* I’M INVINCIBLE!!!
Jayfeather: It’s his thing.
Stonefur: Time to vote!
Stonefur: *Votes Yes.*
Hazeltail: *Votes Yes.*
Heathertail: *Votes No.*
Jayfeather: *Votes, ‘I’m blind so I couldn’t even see and I honestly don’t care.’*
Stonefur: LIONBLAZE WINS!
Lionblaze: Woo-hoo! *Walks off with Cinderheart.*
Whitestorm: Now it’s time for a commercial break!
Brackenfur: Hello Cats! Today, I’m going to be showing you my awesome new product!
Sorreltail: What is it???
Brackenfur: Meow Munch Kitty Food!TM
Brackenfur: You’re sure right! Here’s some information on the following.
(Ingredients) cornstarch, mouse tails, chicken, artificial food coloring, artificial preservatives, unhealthiness, fresh-kill extract, dead cat bones, jello, random things you find in the forest, more cornstarch, wren.
Side effects of eating this include: stomach problems, rashes, trouble breathing, weight problems, turning into a dog, fleas/ticks, strokes, heart attacks, and occasionally death.
(End of commercial break.)
Whitestorm: And our next contestant is...
Whitestorm: Hello Brightheart! What‘s your act?
Brightheart: Shooting a apple with one eye closed!
Brightheart: *Wraps blindfold around one eye.*
Whitestorm: Um, Brightheart? What about your, you know, other eye?
Brightheart: What do you mean?
Whitestorm: You know, your eye got ripped off by a dog in A Dangerous Path.
Brightheart: SPOILER! I only read up to Fire & Ice! You just ruined the whole series for me! *Starts crying.*
Hazeltail: Now look what you’ve done Whitestorm! You made her cry!
Cloudtail: You only read up to Fire & Ice? I’m on Sunset, and Whitewing’s on Dark River.
Brightheart: *Crying* Don’t spoil it!
Stonefur: Brightheart, do you need some time off stage?
Brightheart: *Sniffles* Yes.
Stonefur: Okay, we’ll come back to you later. Next act, BREEZEPELT???
Breezepelt: (Comes out wearing a black leather jacket with golden chains.) Sup Yo.
Heathertail: Go Breezepelt! (Cheers)
Whitestorm: What’s your act?
Whitestorm: Okay, go ahead.
(Lights dim and heavy metal starts playing in the background.)
Breezepelt: *Starts singing ‘My songs know what you did in the dark’ by Fall Out Boy.*
Breezepelt: So Light Em’ Up, Up, Up, Light Em’ Up, Up, Up- On Fireeeeee!
Stonefur: *Votes Yes*
Hazeltail: *Votes Yes*
Jayfeather: *Votes Yes*
Heathertail: *Slams the Golden Buzzer*
Lionblaze: *Rolls Eyes.*
Whitestorm: Congratulations Breezepelt, your automatically moving on to the final round!
Everyone except Lionblaze: *Claps*
Breezepelt: Hey Heathy? <3
Heathertail: Yes Breezy? <3
Breezepelt: Me and my friends are gonna’ be partying at my house tonight. Wanna come?
Breezepelt: *Leaves Stage*
Whitestorm: And that’s the end of this episode! Stay tuned folks!
(Midnight: Breezepelt’s House.)
Breezepelt, Heathertail, And basically every Windclan cat in history except Crowfeather: *Partying*
Lionblaze: *Creeping around the back of the house*
Lionblaze: Time to crash this party!
Lionblaze: *Breaks through living-room window* HI-YAH!!!!!!!!
Tallstar: You could of just taken the front door you know.
Lionblaze: And who are you?
Tallstar: Leader of Windclan before Onestar.
Barkface: He’s so famous they even made a book about him!
Tallstar: It‘s called Tallstar’s Revenge.
Kestrelflight: Ooooh, Sounds dramatic!
Breezepelt: Yeah. Anyway, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE!
Lionblaze: Isn’t It obvious? Since I wasn’t invited, The only choice of action is to totally wreck your house!
Heathertail: Um, no. So how about you get out of here before I call the cops.
Lionblaze: Even you don’t want me here Heathy? D:
Breezepelt: ONLY I CAN CALL HER HEATHY!
Heathertail: See? This is why we broke up, Lionblaze. You’re a emotionally unstable jerk who only cares about a dorky prophecy and becoming the best warrior in Thunderclan, Plus, You already have a girlfriend!
Lionblaze: I have a girlfriend?
Heathertail: And kids.
Lionblaze: I have kids?
Hollytuft, Sorrelstripe, Spotpaw, Flypaw, Fernsong, and Snappaw: *Cries*
Heathertail: *Rolls eyes*
Breezepelt: Lets get this over with. *Calls cops*
Lionblaze: OH NO YOU DON’T! *Leaps on Breezepelt*
Breezepelt: OW! *Bites Lionblaze*
Lionblaze: OW! *Hisses and Bites Breezepelt.
Smokehaze & Brindlewing: DADDY!!!! *Bites Lionblaze*
All of Windclan: HI-YAH!!!!!!! *Jumps on Lionblaze*
Lionblaze: MWHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Pushes them all off.* I’M INVINCIBLE!!!
Crowfeather: *Magically teleports into room.*
Crowfeather: Lionblaze, Stop! Go to your room and think about what you’ve done.
Lionblaze: I don’t have to listen to you! I don’t even consider you as my real dad!
Crowfeather: Good point.
Jayfeather: As ultimate magical sorcerer of all time, I must banish you all to...
Jayfeather: RAVENPAW’S/BARLEY’S BARN!!!
Jayfeather: Because. *Pulls out Magic Stick* HAHA!
*Everyone gets sent through a space-time loop, but instead of them all going to the barn, Ravenpaw and Barley appear with everyone else at the Clans Got Talent filming studio the next day.*
Jayfeather: NOOO!!! I should of known! My magic didn’t work because my stick is broken!
Firestar and Greystripe: RAVENPAW!
Ravenpaw, Greystripe and Firestar: BRO HUG!
Dustpelt: I totally do not have any emotional consideration for this individual and is definitely not his brother.
Rock: Hello, Jayfeather.
Jayfeather: Hello, Rock. What are you doing here?
Rock: I just wanted to let you know by teleporting here you technically brought back every single dead cat. Ever.
Jayfeather: So that means...
Half Moon: Jay’s Wing!
Jayfeather: Half Moon!
Half Moon: I’ve missed you so much!
Lionblaze: *Cough Cough* Sorry to interrupt, BUT WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY!?!
Half Moon: Well, technically I’m Jayfeather’s girlfriend (Or something like that) who was also the first Stoneteller, and was the one who sent the clans to the forest, and my original home’s spirits are trapped inside of that stick that Jayfeather carries around, but Rock told him to leave the Tribe so he could go back to ThunderClan.
Lionblaze: ...That makes sense.
Ivypool: Dovewing? When did you get here?
Dovewing: I should be asking you that.
Ivypool: Like I’ll tell you! I’m supposed to be mysterious!
Fernsong: She used the back door.
Fernsong: What! You did use the back door.
Whitestorm: Guys! The shows starting!
Jayfeather: Well, bye. I’m supposed to be getting ready to judge.
Half Moon: : (
Jayfeather: I’ll NOT see you all later! ...Because I’m blind. *Walks out of room*
Whitestorm: It’s me, Whitestorm! I hope you’re all excited, because today we’re going to be recording another episode of Clans Got Talent!
Whitestorm: Our first act will be... SNOWFUR!
Bluestar: You can do it, Sis!
Snowfur: My act today will be gymnastics, and my partner will be... *Looks at audience* Alderheart!
Alderheart: Wait, WHAT?
Sparkpelt: *Yells from back row* YOU’RE GOING TO BE DANCING WITH A GIRL, ALDERHEART!!!
Audience: ALDERHEART! ALDERHEART! ALDERHEART!
Alderheart: Ok, Ok! I’m going! *Walks up on stage*
Snowfur: Ok, so the way it works is that I’m going to be in the front and you’re going to be in the back. I’ll start playing the music and sing, while you’re going to be doing catwheels (Yes, I just purposely wrote catwheels.) on that VERY skinny wood plank. Then, I’m going to twirl, and you’ll jump off the plank to take my paw, and I’ll jump and you’ll have to catch me! Got it?
Hazeltail: Hurry up!
Snowfur: Ok, let’s get started!
(Goes to news break)
Thornclaw: Greetings, I’m Mr. Thornclaw and this is your local Gathering News. Today, I’ve got Blackstar, leader of ShadowClan, live in our studio.
Blackstar: *Clears throat* Thank you, Mr. Thornclaw. Today I would like to discuss how well prey is running in ShadowClan, and how we are definitely doing better then all of the other clans.
Thornclaw: Really? Hm. That always seems to be a popular topic with ShadowClan.
Blackstar: ARE YOU ACCUSING US OF SNEAKING INTO THE THUNDERCLAN BORDERS!?! HOW DARE YOU!
Thornclaw: Wait- What? I never even said that-
Blackstar: SO YOU THINK WE’RE SECRETLY PLANNING TO DESTROY ALL OF THE CLANS!?!
Thornclaw- Where are you coming up with this?
Blackstar: SO YOU THINK I SECRETLY HAVE A CRUSH ON MOUSEFUR!?!
(News stops because of technical difficulties)
Whitestorm: And... We’re back! Before the break, Alderheart and Snowfur were discusing there routine. Now, they’re ready!
Alderheart: Correction; Snowfur’s ready.
Whitestorm: Okay, Start!
(Upbeat pop music starts playing.)
Alderheart: *Jumps onto board* Okay, Alderheart. You can do this. *Runs down board and does a cat wheel.*
Snowfur: Yay! *Twirls*
Alderheart: *Gets of board*
Snowfur: Ok, get ready! *Jumps up into the air, flips, and lands on Alderheart.*
Audience: *Loud Cheers*
Whitestorm: Great job!
Stonefur: *Votes Yes*
Hazeltail: *Votes Yes*
Heathertail: *Votes Yes*
Jayfeather: *Votes ’I hate pop music, but whatever.’*
Whitestorm: Congratulations, you’re moving onto the next round!
Whitestorm: And Alderheart!
Whitestorm: Ok... Next is, Fallen Leaves and Hollyleaf!
Cinderheart: Go Hollyleaf!!!
Hazeltail: Wait, so who’s Fallen Leaves?
Jayfeather: It’s complicated.
Hollyleaf: We’re going to be doing an escape trick!
Stonefur: What’ll you be escaping from?
Hollyleaf: A GLASS TANK FULL OF BOILING WATER!
Stonefur: So, who is going to be escaping?
Hollyleaf: Fallen Leaves.
Fallen Leaves: *Shy* Hi.
Whitestorm: Uh... Didn’t he die from drowning?
Jayfeather: Well, yes.
Fallen Leaves: It‘s fine. I’ve been practicing with Hollyleaf in the tunnels.
Whitestorm: If you say so!
Hollyleaf: Into the water! *Pushes Fallen Leaves into the tank.*
Fallen Leaves: AHHH! *Falls*
Fallen Leaves: *Hits the bottom of the tank*
Hollyleaf: Uh, are you ok?
Fallen Leaves: *Underwater voice* No! Help...!
Hollyleaf: I can’t really understand what he’s saying.
Jayfeather: You should probably get him out. Trust me, drowning is NOT fun.
Hazeltail: How do you know?
Jayfeather: ... (No comment.)
Fallen Leaves: (Underwater voice) Seriously! I‘M DYING HERE!
Hollyleaf: I think he said he’s ok.
Rainwhisker: *From back of the crowd* HE’S BEEN UNDERWATER FOR MORE THEN 2 MINUTES!
Hollyleaf: Well, he’s not dead.
Fallen Leaves: (Underwater voice) Actually, I think I might be ok. I mean, CAN you die twice?
Stonefur: OK, DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT HE’S SAYING!?!
Fallen Leaves: (Underwater voice) Hang on, I think I have an idea... (Swims towards wall, and goes through) I CAN BREATH AGAIN!
Heathertail: HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
Fallen Leaves: Well, I am a ghost.
Jayfeather: It makes sense.
Whitestorm: Um... Yeah, let’s just go to a commercial break.
(Goes to a commercial break)
Clovertail: Hey everyone! It’s me, Clovertail, and today I’m going to be advertising...
Fallowfern: What did you say?
Clovertail: And actually... You can be my test subject!
Clovertail: *Sticks hearing aids in Falllowfern’s ears.*
Clovertail: CAN YOU HERE ME!?!
Fallowfern: Ow! Yes, but you don’t have to yell!
Clovertail: Yay! It works!
Clovertail: And for all of you deaf cats out there, like...
Mintfur: Aren’t you the one that got carried of by an eagle?
Snowkit: : (
Clovertail: Anyway, for all of you deaf cats out there that probably can’t even hear this commercial, call 192 - 3672 - HEAR for your hearing aids today! Only for one million payments of $19.99!
(End of the commercial break.)
Honeyfern: Yeah, I’m Honeyfern! Oh, and bye the way Berrynose, I’m still mad at you for having kids with my sister when I died.
Poppyfrost: *Sad face*