WEEK THREE, NOMINATIONS

Rules: Only Spottedleaf, Leafpool, Redtail, Rosepetal, Yellowfang, Daisy and Ivypool may be nominated.

Superpower Holder: Thornclaw


(in the lounge room)

Mousefur: I can't believe Dustpelt's gone!

Yellowfang: Well, he did want to go.

Redtail: But that means I'm nominated! D:

Leafpool: Big deal! I am too!

Spottedleaf: And me! Thanks to Thornclaw.

Thornclaw: Dude, I fell over by accident!

Spottedleaf: No, you fell over because you wanted to sabotage me, because you're the Mole, and I'm going to prove it! (stomps away)

Graystripe: Woah.

Spiderleg: Dude, you're screwed!

Daisy: That rhymes!

Yellowfang: (knocks Daisy out)

Rosepetal: Hey. What was that for.

Ravenpaw: She talked, I think.

Yellowfang: Yes, and the laws of Yellowfang says that any ThunderClan cat named Dasiy is not allowed to talk without expressed permission.

Ivypool: And the laws of Ivypool say that Runningwind is not to touch or be within fifty metres of me!

Runningwind: But the laws of Runningwind say I have to hug you 50 times a day! (hugs Ivypool)

Ivypool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! LAW BREAKER!

Big Brother: SHUT UP WITH YOUR STUPID LAWS!

(silence)

Leafpool: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (faints)

Mousefur: Can we all stop doing that?

Spiderleg: Yeah, guys, seriously.

Big Brother: I think now would be a good time to call all of you to the lounge?

Ivypool: We are in the lounge, idiot.

Big Brother: Fine. Sit down then.

(everyone sits down)

Big Brother: Now give me time to go behind my all powerful microphone! (runs away)

Daisy: I don't understand why he needs to go behind a microphone to listen to our nominations when he talks to us face to face about other things...

Yellowfang: (glares furiously)

Daisy: Sorry...


(5 minutes later)

Big Brother: Okay, it's time for nominations! Redtail, as Dustpelt is evicted, that means you are up for nomination in his place.

Redtail: Okay...

Big Brother: Also, after Dustpelt left, he could give out a superpower. Here he is via video link to announce his choice.

(Dustpelt appears via video link)

Dustpelt: Hello, weridos! I give my superpower to THORNCLAW!

Spottedleaf: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Thornclaw: What? 

Ravenpaw: (shouts in Thornclaw's ear) HE SAID YOU GET THE SUPERPOWER!

Big Brother: Thornclaw, go to the Diary Room. Everyone else, to the nominations room.


(in the Diary Room)

Big Brother: Thornclaw, are you interested to know what your superpower is?

Thornclaw: Yes!

Big Brother: Okay, Thornclaw, your superpower has two options.

Thornclaw: What do you mean?

Big Brother: Well, you can choose one of the following options for your superpower. You may choose to either DOUBLE YOUR NOMINATION POINTS or SAVE ONE HOUSEMATE FOR NOMINATIONS! But beware, either decision will bring consequences. Which do you pick?

Thornclaw: I... Well, I'll SAVE A CAT please, Big Brother!

Big Brother: Interesting choice! Who do you choose to save?

Thornclaw: I choose SPOTTEDLEAF. 

Big Brother: Spottedleaf? Why? Surely she thinks you're the Mole.

Thornclaw: Yes, she does, but if I save her, maybe that will make her less suspicious of me? Besides, if she manages to convince enough cats that I'm the Mole, I'll be automatically nominated and might be evicted.

Big Brother: Good choice. Accepted.

Thornclaw: Yay!

Big Brother: Well, while you're here, you may as well nominate. Nominate now.

Thornclaw: Hm... for 3 points I nominate LEAFPOOL. She talks way too much and makes a scene whenever she faints. What a stupid fear she has!

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 2 points left. 

Thornclaw: For 2 points I nominate REDTAIL. I think he pretends to be crazy to get attention, and I don't like attention seekers.

Big Brother: Accepted.

Table:

LEAFPOOL 3

REDTAIL 2

Daisy 0

Ivypool 0

Rosepetal 0

Yellowfang 0

Spottedleaf S

(For those who don't know, the S beside Spottedleaf's name means safe.)

Big Brother: Thank you, Thornclaw. Please go back to the nominations room.


(in the nominations room)

(Thornclaw enters the room)

Thornclaw: I HAVE RETURNED! Did you miss me?

Spottedleaf: No.

Big Brother: Housemates, it's time to nominate. But, before we begin, Thornclaw has just used his superpower. He had the option to double his nomination points or save a cat from nominations. He chose to save a cat. He chose Spottedleaf, which means she is no longer able to be nominated.

Everyone: (shocked gasp)

Spottedleaf: You chose me? 

Runningwind: Great, now I have to change my nomination!

Spottedleaf: (glares furiously at Runningwind)

Big Brother: Right-o, let's start the nominations! We'll start with the safe cats first. Spottedleaf, to the chamber.

(Spottedleaf enters)

Big Brother: Spottedleaf, nominate now.

Spottedleaf: For 4 points I nominate IVYPOOL to get Runningwind back.

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 1 point left.

Spottedleaf: For 1 point I nominate ROSEPETAL because she's really boring, and she has an alliance with Daisy. The alliance must be stopped before it gets dangerous.

Big Brother: Accepted.

Table:

IVYPOOL 4

LEAFPOOL 3

REDTAIL 2

Rosepetal 1

Daisy 0

Yellowfang 0


Big Brother: Graystripe, to the chamber.

(Graystripe enters)

Big Brother: Graystripe, nominate now.

Graystripe: For 3 points I nominate YELLOWFANG. She's changed heaps this week and it's starting to bug me.

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 2 points left.

Graystripe: For 2 points I nominate IVYPOOL to get back at Runningwind.

Big Brother: Accepted. 

Table:

IVYPOOL 6

LEAFPOOL 3

YELLOWFANG 3

Redtail 2

Rosepetal 1

Daisy 0


Big Brother: Ravenpaw. to the chamber.

(Ravenpaw enters)

Big Brother: Ravenpaw, nominate now.

Ravenpaw: For 4 points I nominate REDTAIL for being a cheat in the first challenge!

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 1 point left.

Ravenpaw: For 1 point I nominate LEAFPOOL because she never shuts up! Freaking NEVER!

Big Brother: Accepted.

Table:

IVYPOOL 6

REDTAIL 6

LEAFPOOL 4

Yellowfang 3

Rosepetal 1

Daisy 0


Big Brother: Spiderleg, to the chamber

(Spiderleg enters)

Big Brother: Spiderleg, nominate now.

Spiderleg: For 3 points I nominate YELLOWFANG for hating Rosepetal.

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 2 points left.

Spiderleg: For 2 points I nominate LEAFPOOL because she's just... strange!

Big Brother: How so?

Spiderleg: She never stops talking!

Big Brother: Accepted.

Table:

LEAFPOOL 7

YELLOWFANG 7

IVYPOOL 6

REDTAIL 6

Rosepetal 1

Daisy 0


Big Brother: Mousefur,  to the chamber.

(Mousefur enters)

Big Brother: Mousefur, nominate now.

Mousefur: For 4 points I nominate ROSEPETAL because she bores the life out of me.

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 1 point left. 

Mousefur: For 1 point I nominate DAISY because no one else will vote for her because they don't think she's a threat, which actually makes her a threat, so... I vote for her.

Big Brother: So... You're voting for her because she's a threat... because people don't think she's a threat?

Mousefur: Yes.

Big Brother: Accepted.

Table:

LEAFPOOL 7

YELLOWFANG 7

IVYPOOL 6

REDTAIL 6

Rosepetal 5

Daisy 1


Big Brother: Runningwind, to the chamber.

(Runningwind enters)

Big Brother: Runningwind, nominate now.

Runningwind: For 3 points I nominate ROSEPETAL because my love does not like her!

Big Brother: Ivypool isn't your love. She hates you.

Runningwind: (snarls) What did you say?

Big Brother: ACCEPTED! YOU HAVE 2 POINTS LEFT! Just don't hurt me!

Runningwind: 2 points to DAISY because she's not making any strategic moves, and I think she's doing it deliberately to avoid being seen as a threat.

Big Brother: Accepted.

Table:

ROSEPETAL 8

LEAFPOOL 7

YELLOWFANG 7

Ivypool 6

Redtail 6

Daisy 3


Big Brother: And now for the ones who are up for nomination! Yellowfang, to the chamber.

(Yellowfang enters)

Big Brother: Yellowfang, nominate now.

Yellowfang: For 4 points I nominate DAISY because I hate her for breaking my most favourite mug in the universe, and it was a limited edition that I bought years ago! I'll never get it back! D:

Big Brother: It's called eBay, but accepted. You have 1 point left.

Yellowfang: For one point I nominate ROSEPETAL for being Daisy's ally and also for being related to her.

Big Brother: Dude... 

Yellowfang: What?

Big Brother: Nominating a cat for being related to a cat you hate?

Yellowfang: So?

Big Brother: Harsh, but we don't have time for a debate, so accepted. Maybe in the Daily Show, perhaps? 

Table:

ROSEPETAL 9

DAISY 7

LEAFPOOL 7

YELLOWFANG 7

Ivypool 6

Redtail 6


Big Brother: Ivypool, to the chamber.

(Ivypool enters)

Big Brother: Ivypool, nominate now.

Ivypool: For 3 points I nominate LEAFPOOL because she's always creating scenes by fainting and that annoys me.

Big Brother: She has a fear of silence, you intolerant little...

Ivypool: Intolerant little what, Big Dovewing?

Big Brother: Nothing! Accepted! You have 2 points left!

Ivypool: For 2 points I nominate ROSEPETAL because she's so boring! SHE HAS NO EMOTION!

Big Brother: Accepted.

Table:

ROSEPETAL 11

LEAFPOOL 10

DAISY 7

YELLOWFANG 7

Ivypool 6

Redtail 6


Big Brother: Daisy, to the chamber.

(Daisy enters)

Big Brother: Daisy, nominate now.

Daisy: For 4 points I nominate YELLOWFANG because she's getting so angry over a stupid mug!

Big Brother: A limited edition mug.

Daisy: I don't care. Stupid old hag.

Big Brother: I'M NOT A HAG, YOU HAG!

Daisy: Rude! I was talking about Yellowfang.

Big Brother: Accepted, hag. 

Daisy: HEY!

Big Brother: You have 1 point left, and make it snappy, hag. I'm over you.

Daisy: For one point I nominate REDTAIL. He's kind of weird. He's half crazy in the sense that one minute, you could be having a perfectly normal conversation and then he comes out with half the Willowpelt Dictionary. 

Big Brother: There is a dictionary for her language?

Daisy: Yes there is.

Big Brother: Cool! Accepted.

Table:

ROSEPETAL 11

YELLOWFANG 11

LEAFPOOL 10

Daisy 7

Redtail 7

Ivypool 6


Big Brother: Rosepetal, to the chamber.

(Rosepetal enters)

Big Brother: Rosepetal, nominate now.

Rosepetal: For 3 points I nominate IVYPOOL because she doesn't like me.

Big Brother: What makes you say that?

Rosepetal: She just avoids me and never talks to me.

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 2 points left.

Rosepetal: For 2 points I nominate YELLOWFANG because she hates Daisy.

Big Brother: Accepted. 

Table:

YELLOWFANG 13

ROSEPETAL 11

LEAFPOOL 10

Ivypool 9

Daisy 7

Redtail 7


Big Brother: Leafpool, to the chamber.

(Leafpool enters)

Big Brother: Leafpool, nominate now.

Leafpool: For 3 points I nominate REDTAIL because he's so super weird all the time! I think he might have two personalities, actually. Isn't that strange? I've never seen that bef-

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 2 points left. 

Leafpool: For 2 points I nominate ROSEPETAL because I find her rather boring, actually! She never has any emotion, kind of like Kristen Stewart. Do you think she's Kristen Stewart's pet cat? It would explain a lot, I mean-

Big Brother: ACCEPTED!

Table:

ROSEPETAL 13

YELLOWFANG 13

LEAFPOOL 10

REDTAIL 10

Ivypool 9

Daisy 7


Big Brother: And finally, Redtail, to the chamber.

(Redtail enters)

Big Brother: Redtail, nominate now.

Redtail: For 4 points I nominate LEAFPOOL because she never stops talking! It's drving me- HONK IF YOU LIKE PIG NOISES! I'M AN AWESOME CAR-TRUCK!

Big Brother: Accepted. Weirdo. You have 1 point left.

Redtail: For 1 point I nominate IVYPOOL because she wants to go home. It's only fair.

Big Brother: Accepted. Nominations are over. All cats to the lounge.

FINAL TABLE:

LEAFPOOL 14

ROSEPETAL 13

YELLOWFANG 13

Ivypool 10

Redtail 10

Daisy 7


(in the lounge)

Big Brother: Housemates, as you know, Thornclaw had the superpower. He could choose whether to double his nomination points or save a cat from being up for nominations, and he chose to save a cat.  He saved Spottedleaf.

Spottedleaf: I still think he's the Mole.

Thornclaw: But... D:

Big Brother: I will now reveal the cats nominated and the number of points they received. On 14 points, LEAFPOOL.

Leafpool: Oh, really? Why did you do that? I bet it was because I talk to much, wasn't it? Well, how about you try living with a fear of silence! HUH!?

Ravenpaw: SHUSH!

Big Brother: On 13 points, ROSEPETAL.

Rosepetal: Nuuuuu. How could this happen. What did I do to deserve this. 

Leafpool: Well, apart from the fact that you're as boring as-

Rosepetal: It was a rhetorical question, you horrible cat. Shut up.

Big Brother: And, also on 13 points, YELLOWFANG.

Yellowfang: DAISY! Plotting against me, are you?

Daisy: Yes I am!

Ivypool: I'm sorry, but that was such a stupid thing to say. Seriously, Daisy, pull you head back in the game!

Daisy: Ivypool! D:

Big Brother: Leafpool, Rosepetal, Yellowfang, at the end of the week, one of you WILL be evicted. That is all.


WEEK THREE, DAILY SHOW (Ft. Seakit, Mistkit and Lavender )

(in the lounge room, after nominations)

Rosepetal: This is a disaster. Why was I nominated. Nuuuuuu.

Yellowfang: Well, I know why was nominated! It was because of Daisy! Does anyone object to me killing her?

Redtail: Not me!

Ravenpaw: Me! Just for the sake of arguing!

Yellowfang: HEY! D:

Spiderleg: I vote kill her! I've been waiting for this moment my entire life!

Mousefur: (snaps head up) What's going on?

Spottedleaf: Voting on whether to kill Daisy or not. I vote no!

Mousefur: I VOTE YES!

Graystripe: AS DO I!

Thornclaw: And I, as well!

Runningwind: I VOTE FOR WHATEVER MY LOVE DOES!

Ivypool: I vote yes!

Runningwind: Then I do, too!

Leafpool: What's going on? What are we voting for? Who's doing what now? Huh?

Yellowfang: We're voting on whether to kill Daisy. Please vote yes!

Leafpool: I vote yes!

Yellowfang: YAY!

Rosepetal: Wait, we can't kill mum. Nuuuuuuuuuu.

Yellowfang: Okay, that's a 9-3 vote for yes! WE KILL HER NOW! (grabs knife)

Thornclaw: But, Yellowfang, we have 13 housemates. 9+3=12.

Yellowfang: Daisy doesn't get a vote

Thornclaw: Oh.

Spiderleg: ON WITH THE KILLING! 

(Daisy comes running in) 

Daisy: EVERYONE! EVERYONE! EVERYONE! EVERYONE!

Yellowfang: (tries to stab Daisy but misses)

Daisy: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (falls to the ground)

Redtail: The blade didn't even hit you.

Daisy: It didn't? (stands back up)

Spottedleaf: Now, what were you trying to tell us?

Daisy: I found a kitten outside! Follow me!

Ivypool: Kittens? YAY!

(everyone heads outside)


(outside)

Ivypool: Kitten! Where?

Daisy: (points to Seakit) There!

(Everyone glances at Seakit and sees his bent ears)

(silence)

Leafpool: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (faints)

Seakit: Hi, I'm Seakit!

(everyone bursts out laughing)

Seakit: Whaaaaaat? D:

Spiderleg: YOU HAVE STUPID EARS! HA HA HA!

Spottedleaf: Come on, guys...

Seakit: Stop itttttttt! D:

Thornclaw: Look at them! They're all broken!

Seakit: Stop it! D:

Thornclaw: Such stupid ears! HA HA HA HA HA!

Seakit: Stop making fun of me! I hate it!

Daisy: HA HA HA, IDIOT-EARS!!!!!!

Yellowfang: So stupid looking! xD

Seakit: Stop making fun of my ears, or I'll get really angry!

(Mistkit skips in)

Mistkit: Hi, Seakit!

Seakit: Hi, Mistkit!

Thornclaw: LE GASP! BROKEN-EARS HAS A FRIEND!

Seakit: I TOLD YOU TO STOP THAT!!!!!!!!

Mistkit: Why is he being called that? This is horrendous! D: 

Mousefur: Guys, perhaps we should stop it now, yes?

Everyone: Agreed.

Ravenpaw: We're sorry, Seakit!

Thornclaw: HA-HA! BROKEN-EARS! YOU SUCK!

Seakit: I'M ABOUT TO GET REALLY ANGRY!

Mistkit: Yeah, stop it!

Thornclaw: Broken-ears! Broken-ears!

Daisy: Thornclaw!

Thornclaw: Broken-ears! Broken-ears!

Ivypool: THORNCLAW!

Seakit: STOP IT!

Mistkit: YEAH!

Thornclaw: Broken-ears! Broken-ears!

Seakit: I'M GETTING REALLY ANGRY!!!!!! 

(dramatic music plays. Seakit turns in to a giant.)

Seakit: ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

Thornclaw: Uh-oh...


(10 minutes later)

Spottedleaf: Okay, let's ask him to stop one more time!

Yellowfang: Ravenpaw, you do it.

Ravenpaw: Me?

Yellowfang: No, the Ravenpaw that lives across the street. OF COURSE I MEAN YOU!

Ravenpaw: (sigh) Fine. Uh, Seakit?

Seakit: WHAT!?

Ravenpaw: Uh... We're sorry for making fun of you, could you please let us go?

Seakit: No!

Ravenpaw: But it was mostly Thorn-

Seakit: I SAID NO! (throws Ravenpaw in to the wall) 

Redtail: Woohoo!

Daisy: Wh-what are you going to do to us? 

Seakit: Well, I don't know! What shall we do to them, Mistkit? 

Mistkit: Hm... I know! Let's make them perform funny things for our amusement!

Seakit: YES! BRILLIANT IDEA, MISTKIT!

Rosepetal: Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. This is a disaster. 

Seakit: What do you want them to do first. Mistkit?

Mistkit: (points at Daisy) She has to twerk!

Spiderleg: OH, DEAR STARCLAN, NO!

Seakit: (points at Daisy) You. Twerk.

Daisy: I'd rather not.

Seakit: Do it!

Mousefur: But our eyes will burn! D:

Daisy: What Mousefur said. No. 

Seakit: I SAID TWERK! 

Yellowfang: Daisy, don't!

Ravenpaw: Yeah, we'll die!

Seakit: TWERK RIGHT NOW OR I'LL EAT YOUR COOKIE!

Daisy: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Okay, okay! (sigh) Here goes... (starts twerking)

Rosepetal: (melts)

Spiderleg: EWWWWWWWWW! (barfs)

Leafpool: MY EYES! 

Redtail: MY EYES ARE BURNING!

Runningwind: Can't... look! (jumps off cliff)

Ivypool: Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!

Thornclaw: THIS IS HORRIBLE TO WATCH! D:

Mistkit: (cracks up laughing) Oh, that was awesome!

Seakit: I couldn't agree more! 

Mistkit: What should we do to them next?

Seakit: Um... I KNOW! (points at Ravenpaw) You (points at Redtail) and you, do the Waltz together. 

Ravenpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Redtail: WHYYYYYYYYYYY!?

Seakit: Because it's funny. Go.

Thornclaw: Oh, this is gonna be great!

Mousefur: I'd pay money to see this! Oh, wait, I'm already seeing it! 

(Ravenpaw and Redtail start dancing)

Seakit: HA-HA-HA! YOU GUYS ARE STUPID DANCERS!

Ravenpaw: THIS IS HORRENDOUS! D:

Leafpool: This is amazing! xD

Mistkit: Okay, that's enough!

(Ravenpaw and Redtail instantly stop dancing)

Redtail: Phew!

Ravenpaw: (pushes Redtail off a cliff)

Spottedleaf: REDTAIL! D:

Mousefur: We should really get rid of that cliff...


(5 minutes later)

(Redtail gets pulled up)

Redtail: (to Ravenpaw) I hate you.

Seakit: Oh no, we've run out of things to torture them with, Mistkit! D:

Mistkit: OH NO! D:

Seakit: WHAT CAN WE DO!?

Ivypool: Stop torturing us and leave? 

Seakit: NO, WE CANNOT STOP TORTURING YOU AND LEAVE! 

Mistkit: WAIT! I HAVE AN IDEA!

Seakit: What is it? 

Mistkit: LET'S MAKE THEM DO A FUNNY PLAY! And if they don't amuse us, we eject them with this! (grabs trapdoor remote)

Spiderleg: This house has a trapdoor?

Big Brother: This house has multiple trapdoors. Sorry about that, guys.

Daisy: (bleep) you.

Seakit: OH, AND IF WE EJECT MORE THAN HALF OF THEM, WE CAN KILL THEM, RIGHT!?

Mistkit: RIGHT!

Rosepetal: Do we get a say in this.

Mistkit: No! Now, off you go! You have a play to prepare for!


(15 minutes later)

Seakit: THE PLAY STARTS NOW! CREATE THE SET! 

(the set is a house. Spiderleg, Mousefur, Spottedleaf and Ravenpaw are in the scene)

(Spiderleg walks through the door) 

Spiderleg: Hey, honey, I'm home! (kisses Mousefur) (to self) Ewww!

Mousefur: Hello, baby, I've just made dinner! (kisses) KIDS! DINNER!

(Spottedleaf enters the room) 

Spottedleaf: Wow, mouse lassagne! Awesome! Thanks, Mother! (sits down and eats)

Spiderleg: Spottedleaf, where is your brother?

Spottedleaf: How am I supposed to know?

Spiderleg: Well, he'd better get here soon, or his dinner will be cold!

(CRASH)

Mousefur: What the...?

(Ravenpaw comes flying in on a wrecking ball) 

Ravenpaw: I CAME IN LIKE A WREEEEEEEEECKING- 

(Ravenpaw goes flying out the window)

Ravenpaw: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! 

(Ravenpaw crashes to the ground. The wrecking ball lands on top of him)

Ravenpaw: OW!

Spottedleaf: (gasps and runs to the window) Ravenpaw, my dear brother! Are you okay?

Ravenpaw: I've broken my everything! 

Mousefur: We need to call an ambulance!

Spiderleg: AMBULANCEEEEEEEEEEE!

(Leafpool and Redtail come running in as the ambulance)

Leafpool: (makes siren noises)

Mousefur: STOP BEING SO LOUD!

Leafpool: Sorry! Uh, we need to... uh... Line?

Seakit: (ejects Leafpool) You screwed up! You suck!

Leafpool: (falls through the trapdoor) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Redtail: We need to load him in to the ambulance! Go get him, Spottedleaf! 

Spottedleaf: FOR NARNIA! (runs and grabs Ravenpaw and throws him in the ambulance)

Ravenpaw: OW! THAT REALLY HURT, YOU TOAD!

Redtail: It's off to the hospital we go! (runs of the set)

Mousefur: Spottedleaf, Spiderleg, get in the car! I'll drive!

Spiderleg: But she-cats can't drive! 

Mousefur: YOU SEXIST! 

(Mousefur, Spottedleaf and Spiderleg leave the set)


(the set changes to a hospital. Rosepetal, Yellowfang and Daisy join the scene,)

(Ravenpaw is wheeled in on a cart, followed in by Spottedleaf, Spiderleg and Mousefur.)

Mousefur: Stay with us, Ravenpaw! 

Ravenpaw: The wrecking ball... What happened to the wrecking ball?

Spottedleaf: Really? 

Ravenpaw: YES, REALLY! IT'S IMPORTANT, OKAY!?

Spiderleg: (whispers) You're supposed to be really hurt!

Ravenpaw: Oh, right. (sarcastically) Help me! Help me, I'm really hurt!

(Yellowfang comes rushing out with Daisy by her side)

Yellowfang: What happened?

Spiderleg: He fell out of the window.  Mousefur: And got crushed by a wrecking ball.

Daisy: (is checking Ravenpaw) He needs emergency surgery!

Yellowfang: (punches) NO ONE GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO-

Mistkit: (ejects Yellowfang) That wasn't part of it!

Yellowfang: (falls through the trapdoor) AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Daisy: D: Now we have only 5 ejections left!  

Seakit: Continue.

Daisy: (wheels Ravenpaw away) We'll have to take him in to emergency surgery! He needs it! 

(Mousefur, Spiderleg and Spottedleaf begin to follow)

Daisy: STAY OUTSIDE!

(Daisy wheels Ravenpaw in to surgery)

Spottedleaf: I hope he's okay.


(the set changes to a surgery room. Rosepetal and Graystripe join the scene.)

(Daisy wheels in Ravenpaw)

Daisy: Guys, it's an emergency!

Graystripe: What happened?

Daisy: Ravenpaw fell and then was crushed! He needs life-saving surgery!

Graystripe: We're on it, Nurse Daisy! Rosepetal, administer anaesthetic!

Rosepetal: (jabs Ravenpaw with a needle) Done.

Ravenpaw: (sleepily) Hey! that's my teddy! (falls asleep)

Graystripe: Daisy, leave. We need to operate! Rosepetal, fetch me the scalpel!

Rosepetal: (hands scalpel) Scalpel.

Graystripe: And, cut! (cuts Ravenpaw's stomach open)

(blood starts pouring out)

Graystripe: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I CUT TOO MUCH! D:::::::

(the machines start beeping)

Rosepetal: He's losing too much blood. I can't stop it. His heart rate's dropping. I can't save him. He's going to die. Nuuuuuuuuuuu.

Seakit: (ejects Rosepetal) For the love of StarClan, show some emotion!

Rosepetal: (falls down the trapdoor) Aaaaaaaaaaah. 

(the machines beep again)

Graystripe: HE'S DEAD! D:


(the scene changes to a funeral. Runningwind, Ivypool, Redtail and Thornclaw join the scene. Everyone is present)


Redtail: We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of Ravenpaw. He was a beloved cat by many characters and readers alike, even though he was written out a bit before halfway through the second arc, citation needed. He will be missed by everyone here today, myself included. We wish him well on his journey to StarClan, and so, we pray. In the name of Thunder, Shadow, Wind and River & Sky. Amen. (crosses self) Thornclaw, would you like to read the prayer for us, please?

(Thornclaw walks up the front) 

Thornclaw: (clears throat)

StarClan, we ask that you take care of Ravenpaw on his journey to you, and that you welcome him with open paws. We ask that you forgive him of his sins and... Um... Line?

Mistkit: (ejects Thornclaw) THIS IS A HEARTFELT AND EMOTIONAL MOMENT AND YOU JUST RUINED IT!

(Thornclaw falls down the trapoor)

Spottedleaf: No scream? Very mole-like, if you ask me!

Redtail: Okay, can someone take over the thing? Spottedleaf?

Spottedleaf: Okay. (grabs piece of paper) We ask that you forgive him of his sins and allow him to rest in peace for eternity. Ravenpaw, we wish you good hunting and safe shelter. Amen. In the name of Thunder, Shadow, Wind and River & Sky. (crosses self)

Mousefur: HICCUP!  (covers mouth) Sorry.

Seakit: (ejects Mousefur) YOU CAN'T HICCUP DURING A FUNERAL! 

Redtail: Runningwind, would you please lower the coffin in to the ground? 

Runningwind: Yes, Father Redtail.

(Runningwind lowers the coffin in to the ground)

(bagpipes play)

Redtail: And that concludes our funeral service. (jumps off the stage) Man, I need a bagel!


(still at the funeral site)

(Ivypool pads over to Runningwind)

Ivypool: (lays tail on Runningwind's shoulder) You okay?

Runningwind: (silent squeal) It's hard, you know? I have to lay coffins in the ground nearly every day, and no one seems to care or notice!

Ivypool: I care and notice...

Runningwind: EEEEEEEEE! Uh, I mean, thanks.

Ivypool: Hey, um... (deep breath) Runningwind, do you want me to go back to your house with you and keep you company?

Runningwind: YES! I mean, okay...


(everyone else exits the scene. The scene changes to a house. Only Runningwind, Ivypool and Spiderleg are in the scene.)

Ivypool: So... this is your house?

Runningwind: Yes it is. It's not much, I know.

Ivypool: It's a mansion...

Runningwind: Right, so it is! Hey, do you want some tea? I have my own personal butler.

Ivypool: Oh, for the love of...

Runningwind: BUTLER! Some tea?

(nothing happens)

Runningwind: I said: BUTLER! SOME TEA?

(nothing happens)

Runningwind: BUTLER!

(Spiderleg comes rushing in)

Spiderleg: Sorry, sorry!

Seakit: (ejects Spiderleg) YOU CAME IN TOO LATE!

Spiderleg: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Seakit: Oh, this play is going wonderful! Please contnue.

(Lavender runs in)

Lavender: SEAKIT!

Seakit: Uh-oh.

Lavender: Seakit, stop torturing these poor cats! I didn't raise you to be a tyrant!

Seakit: But...

Lavender: No buts. Apologise to these lovely cats! You too, Mistkit.

Mistkit: Sorry...

Seakit: Yeah, sorry for torturing you!

Mousefur: And we're sorry for calling you Broken-Ears.

Lavender: Wait a minute, they called you Broken-Ears?

Seakit: Yes!

Lavender: BURN THEM ALL!!!!!

Mousefur: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Seakit: Continue the play!


(the play is back at the same scene with only Runningwind and Ivypool) Runningwind: Thanks for staying with me.

Ivypool: You're welcome. We're friends, and that's what friends do...

Runningwind: (to self) She's talking to me! (back in character) Thanks. Maybe you should-

Mistkit: STOP! I'VE JUST HAD THE MOST AMAZING IDEA!

Seakit: What is it?

Mistkit: (points at Runningwind and Ivypool) THOSE TWO MUST KISS!

Ivypool: WHAT!?

Runningwind: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE SINCE A FEW MONTHS AGO!!!!!!

Seakit: Oooh, Mistkit, I like your style! Perfect!

Lavender: FUTURE SHIPPING! CALLED IT!

Seakit: Lavender, you're embarrassing me!/

Lavender: Sorry!

Seakit: ON WITH THE PLAY! KISS!

Ivypool: Uh... No.

Mistkit: (edges towards the trapdoor remote) Really?

Seakit: Yeah, if you or Runningwind gets ejected, that's more than half, which means I get to kill you!

Runningwind: Come on, Sweet Ivy! I've been waiting.

Ivypool: NO! 

Mistkit: (grabs trapdoor remote)

Spottedleaf: DO IT!

Redtail: YEAH! I DON'T WANNA DIE!

Daisy: I don't understand why I haven't been ejected yet.

Ivypool: (sigh) Fine. (leans in to kiss Runningwind)

Runningwind: EEEEEEEEEEEE! (leans in to kiss)

Ivypool: Ugh... Ew... (vomits in Runningwind's mouth)

Runningwind: (vomits) That was not how I imagined it!

Seakit: EWWWWWWWWWW! (vomits)

Mistkit: (vomits)

Lavender: (vomits)

Spottedleaf: (vomits)

Redtail: (vomits)

Graystripe: (vomits)

Seakit: (ejects Ivypool) THAT'S FOR RUINING THE MOMENT!

Mistkit: (ejects Runningwind) THAT'S FOR MAKING US VOMIT!

Graystripe: Uh-oh.

Ivypool and Runningwind: (falls down the trapdoor) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Runningwind: IVYPOOL AND I SCREAMED TOGETHER! THIS IS THE FIRST STEP TO OUR RELATIONSHIP!

Seakit: Well, that means I can kill you all! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Mistkit: Now, give us time to be evil!

Lavender: (puts on witch hat) Is this evil enough, Seakit?

Seakit: Lavender, you're ruining it! D:

Lavender: (puts away hat) Sorry. On with the killing!

Big Brother: This is Big Brother... 

Lavender: Huh?

Big Brother: After an impromptu public vote, we're having a TRIPLE EVICTION!

Graystripe: WHAT!?

Big Brother: It's time to go... SEAKIT, MISTKIT AND LAVENDER!

Graystripe:  Ooooooooooh! 

Mistkit: What?

(Big Brother bursts in to the yard and kicks Lavender)

Lavender: EEEEEEEP! 

Big Brother: KARATE, DON'T FAIL ME NOW! Seakit: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! HE'S RUINING IT! ATTACK HIM, MISTKIT!

Mistkit: Let's attack him together!

Seakit and Mistkit: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (dives on Big Brother)

Big Brother: Hi, kitties!

Seakit: (bites Big Brother's left foot)

Big Brother: OW!

Mistkit: (bites Big Brother's right foot)

Big Brother: OW! STOP IT!

Mistkit: It's not working! All he's doing is complaining!

Seakit: I have an idea! Let's bite both feet at the same time!

(Seakit and Mistkit bite Big Brother's feet)

Big Brother: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (falls on top of Mistkit)

Mistkit: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I'M BEING SQUISHED BY A FAT TWOLEG! D:

Big Brother: That was really uncalled for...

Mistkit: GET OFF ME!

Big Brother: Okay! (gets off Mistkit) 

Seakit: (scratches Big Brother)

Big Brother: OW! (throws Seakit in the pool)

Seakit: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: (runs over to the trapdoor remote and releases everyone) GO! GO!

(everyone runs out) Rosepetal: Mistkit, you nearly killed me. For that, you must die. (runs towards Mistkit) Yaaaaaaaaa.

Mistkit: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! 

Rosepetal: (swipes Mistkit) Do you like that. Does that hurt, Mistkit. Feel the pain you made me feel.

Leafpool: Hey! Seakit's in the water! Charge at him!

Graystripe: CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!  Seakit: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Spiderleg: GET HIM! GET HIM! 

Yellowfang: (grabs Seakit) I'VE GOT HIM!

Big Brother: (uses remote to open house door) PUT HIM OUTSIDE, QUICK!

(everyone runs towards the door)

Seakit: HELP ME!

Daisy: (is running to keep up) I'M ACTUALLY INVOLVED IN SOMETHING EXCITING!

(Lavender runs to block the group)

Lavender: Stop it!

Ravenpaw: (knocks Lavender out)

Redtail: When did you get out of the coffin?

Ravenpaw: During all the fighting. 

Thornclaw: WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR!? PUT HIM OUTSIDE!

Yellowfang: Bye, Seakit! (throws him out the door)

Seakit: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I BROKE MY LEG!

Spottedleaf: Oh no! We have to help him!

Daisy: No! It's a trap! It always is!

Spottedleaf: Fine.

Seakit: Guys... I actually broke my leg!

Ivypool: NO ONE CARES!

Mousefur: That's one down, two to go!

Spiderleg: I think we're forgetting Lavender's still unconscious. 

Leafpool: (drags Lavender out the door) Byeeeeeeeee!

Daisy: Were all the extra E's really necessary?

Leafpool: Yeeeeeeees!

Mousefur: Now we only have one left to kill!

Big Brother: (picks Mistkit up by the tail and throws her out the door) SHUT IT! QUICK!

Rosepetal: (grabs the remote and shuts the door)

Spiderleg: Thanks, Big Brother!

Spottedleaf: That was over abnormally quickly. 

Ravenpaw: What do we do now?

Big Brother: Um... I actually have no idea.

Spiderleg: LET'S HAVE A SILENCE CONTEST!

Leafpool: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (faints)

Redtail: Great, now look what happened!

WEEK THREE, CHALLENGE


(in the bedroom)

Mousefur: Wow, yesterday was eventful!

Rosepetal: I know. Seakit is an evil cat. I hope he never comes back.

Ivypool: I wonder what the challenge will be?

Spiderleg: Maybe it will be a silence contest!

Leafpool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! THEY CAN'T DO THAT! I'm scared of silence!

Spiderleg: Which will make it all the more funnier. 

Runningwind: I can't believe Ivypool and I had our first kiss ruined!

Ivypool: We still haven't kissed yet! AWESOME!

Runningwind: D:

Spottedleaf: Hopefully no one invades today!

Redtail: I'm really looking forward to the challenge!

Big Brother: BORING! We need to spice things up a bit! It's time for the challenge!

Graystripe: DOES IT INVOLVE FOOD!?

Big Brother: Nope.

Spottedleaf: Does it involve something where I can convince everyone that Thornclaw's the Mole?

Thornclaw: Hey! D:

Big Brother: Maybe.

Spottleaf: Yes!

Thornclaw: HEY! D:

Big Brother: Everyone, to the lounge.

Daisy: Oooh, I'm so exci-

Yellowfang: (punches Daisy) WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO TALK!?


(in the lounge)

Thornclaw: What's the challenge?

Spiderleg: Yeah, I wanna know!

Ravenpaw: TELL USSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Big Brother: CALM YOUR RESPECTIVE FARMS! I WAS ABOUT TO! 

(silence)

Leafpool: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Big Brother: Well, my friends, today's challenge is... A SILENCE CONTEST!

Mousefur: AWESOME!

Leafpool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I'M SCARED OF SILENCE!

Rosepetal: Too bad. That's the challenge. Get over it.

Leafpool: Shut up, you boring hag! (kicks Rosepetal)

Rosepetal: Ow. That hurt.

Big Brother: Now, the rules are simple. All you have to do is be silent! If you talk, you're out, and the winner faces the FOUR CASES OF DOOM!

Thornclaw: When does this challenge start? 

Big Brother: Now! Go find your places!

(Note: In this challenge, itallics= thoughts)


(the camera zooms in to Leafpool)

(Leafpool begins sweating and glances around the room fearfully)

Leafpool: Okay, Leafpool! You can do this! It-it's only a silence contest! Y-y-you can be s-s-ilent for a few hours, right? Don't freak out, Leafpool! Don't freak out! Just think of unicorns. Think of unicrons and kittens and... Okay, freaking out! Freaking out! Unicorns, Leafpool! UNICORNS!

Leafpool: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (faints)

Big Brother: And Leafpool's out!


(the camera zooms in to Daisy and Yellowfang)

Yellowfang: Oh, look at Daisy sitting there. Man, I want to punch her! Yeah, Daisy, be scared. I'll give you a left hook and you'll be down for the count! No one beats the famous Yellowfang! MWA HA HA!

Daisy: Hm... Yellowfang's staring at me like she wants to punch my face in. I don't want that to happen! Okay, Daisy, stop thinking about the scary thoughts! Think about nice things... Like Spiderleg getting run over by a tractor. HA! TAKE THAT, SPIDERLEG! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (grins)

Yellowfang: What on earth is she grinning about? Look at that stupid grin on her face. It makes me want to punch her face in even more now! Maybe I'll give her an uppercut instead. That ought to knock her out for a few hours. (motions punching Daisy)

Daisy: Yellowfang still looks like she wants to punch me. Why is she making those stupid motions? Doesn't she realise how much of a fool she is? I can't wait to see how go this week!

Yellowfang: Yeah! Die, Daisy! MWA HA HA HA! DIE! GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE, YOU MUG MURDERER! (continues motioning punches)

Daisy: Okay, she looks even more stupid now than she already was. That's really annoying me! I really want her to stop doing that, but I can't say anything because this is a silence contest. Ah, there's a piece of paper here! (grabs piece of paper and writes) Yellowfang, you look really stupid! Stop doing those stupid motion things and stop thinking about punching me! Love, Daisy. xoxo (throws piece of paper at Yellowfang)

Yellowfang: Oooh, a flying piece of paper! What does it say? (grabs paper and reads)

Yellowfang, you look really stupid! Stop doing those stupid motion things and stop thinking about punching me! Love, Daisy. xoxo

Why did she write hugs and kisses? Wait a minute, how did she know that I was thinking about punching her? Is she psychic? There's only room for one psychic in this house! (runs over to Daisy and gives her an uppercut)

Daisy: OW!

Big Brother: Daisy's out! 

Daisy: You douche! Why'd you do that?

Yellowfang: THERE'S ONLY ROOM FOR ONE PSYCHIC IN THIS HOUSE!

Big Brother: And Yellowfang's out! 

Yellowfang: YOU PIECE OF FOX-DUNG! You made me lose the challenge!

Daisy: Me? You were the mouse-brain who talked!

Yellowfang: Don't call me a mouse-brain, you worthless wimp! (leaps on Daisy)

Daisy: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! STOP IT! (tries to fight back with really weak front paw swipes)

Yellowfang: (slams Daisy's head in to the ground repeatedly) You suck! 

Daisy: I know I do! I suck at everything!

Yellowfang: DIE!!!!!! (throws Daisy at the wall)

Daisy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (smashes in to the wall) 

Spiderleg: Do you mind? I'm trying to be silent here!

Big Brother: And Spiderleg's out!

Spiderleg: CRAP!


(the camera zooms in to Thornclaw and Spottedleaf)

Spottedleaf: Look at Thornclaw, I bet he's trying to figure out a way to Mole right now!

Thornclaw: Spottedleaf's stupid! Doesn't she realise that by trying to prove that I'm the Mole, she's making everyone think she's the Mole? Idiot! 

Spottedleaf: I want to punch him so much! Then I'll tell everyone that he tried to punch me and I blocked it, so then  everyone will think he's the Mole! Oh. Spottedleaf, you genius, you! 

(Spottedleaf walks over to Thornclaw)

Spottedleaf: (taps him on the shoulder)

(Thornclaw turns around)

Thornclaw: Oh, boy. What's Spottedleaf going to do now?

(Spottedleaf tries to punch Thornclaw)

(Thornclaw blocks the punch and punches her)

Spottedleaf: OW! YOU TWIT! 

Big Brother: Spottedleaf's out! And Spottedleaf thought Thornclaw was the twit. 

Spottedleaf: DID YOU SEE THAT, EVERYONE? Thornclaw punched me! That means he's the Mole! MOLE!

Thornclaww: Spottedleaf is such an idiot. As if everyone's going to fall for that? If anything, it'll make them more suspicous of her!

Spottedleaf: DARN IT! TALK, YOU IDIOT! (kicks Thornclaw)

Thornclaw: (stays silent)

Spottedleaf: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU HAVEN'T WON, THORNCLAW! I'LL MAKE THEM SEE THAT YOU'RE THE MOLE! (throws a chair against the wall and stomps out of the room)

Mousefur: The poor chair!


(the camera zooms in to Graystripe)

Graystripe: I wish this challenge would hurry up and finish. I'm so hungry! I'd kill for a taco! Or a biscuit, or a sandwich, or anything that was edible. Maybe even something that wasn't edible, I'm that hungry. 

Rosepetal: Hm... Graystripe looks really hungry. I know. Perhaps if I can get some food in front of him, he'll talk. 

Mousefur: Graystripe looks so hungry! I know, perhaps I'll put some food in front of him! That ought to make him talk!

(Mousefur and Rosepetal rush off to the kitchen)


(30 minutes later)

(Mousefur and Rosepetal come out with a plate of cookies)

Mousefur: Hopefully Graystripe likes these cookies!

Rosepetal: Graystripe better like these cookies. 

(Mousefur and Rosepetal spot each other and start sprinting towards Graystripe)

Mousefur: That douche! She can't steal my idea!

Rosepetal: Nuuuuuuuuu. Mousefur can't steal my idea.

Rosepetal: (pushes Mousefur out of the way)

Mousefur: (falls on the floor)

(Rosepetal drops the food in front of Graystripe)

Graystripe: COOKIES! YAY!

Big Brother: Graystripe's out! 

Graystripe: (devours plate of cookies) OMNOMNOM!

Mousefur: (backhands Rosepetal) You douche! That was my idea! 

Big Brother: Mousefur's out!

Mousefur: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (kicks Rosepetal)

Rosepetal: Mwa ha ha. I'm so evil. Soon, the world shall feel the wrath of the mighty Rosepetal.


(the camera zooms in to Runningwind and Ivypool)

Runningwind: I wonder what Ivypool's thinking about? Oh My StarClan, she looks so beautiful. 

Ivypool: Look at Runningwind over there! He's giving me the creeps. He's been staring at me for this whole challenge!  (motions to Runningwind to stop staring) 

Runningwind: Oh, she looks so beautiful! 

Ivypool: Darn it! It's not working! 

Runningwind: Oh, that reminds me! I need to check Ivypool's wall!  (goes on to Facebook and on to Ivypool's wall) Like... Like... Like... Like... Like... Like... (45 minutes later) Like... Like... Like! All done!

Ivypool: Well, while I'm here, I might as well check my Facebook! (logs on to Facebook) 

Friend Requests: 0      Messages: (1)             Notifications: (1278)

Ivypool: Oooh, who's that message from? Oh, Dovewing. Screw that. I'm not replyi- WAIT, WHAT!? 1278 NOTIFICATIONS!? WHAT!? 

(Ivypool checks the notifications)

Runningwind likes your photo

Runningwind likes your photo

Runningwind likes your photo

Runningwind likes your photo

Runningwind likes your status

Runningwind likes your status

Runningwind likes your status

Runningwind likes your comment "Go away, Dovewing! You aren't wanted!" 


Ivypool: RUNNINGWIND! THAT DOUCHE! ALL OF MY NOTIFICATIONS ARE FROM HIM! Wait, if I hate him, why haven't I blocked him? 

(Ivypool turns around to face Runningwind)

Runningwind: (waves)

Ivypool: (throws phone at Runningwind's face) RUNNINGWIND! YOU GAVE ME 1278 NOTIFICATIONS! 

Big Brother: Ivypool's out! 

Runningwind: EEEEEEEEEE! Ivypool's phone touched a part of me, and she let it happen! That must mean we're in love! Nothing could spoil this moment! 

(a piano falls on Runningwind)

Runningwind: Okay, maybe that.

Big Brother: Runningwind's out!


(the camera zooms in to Redtail)

Redtail: Yay, I'm doing so well in this challenge! What is this, final four now? AWESOME! (dances) Go me! Go me! Go Redtail! It's my birthday! CHICKEN FLAVOURED DUCK GOOSE! HAPPY FLAVOURED SADNESS! Oh, no! Insane thoughts are filling my head! Must... fight... JALEPENOS AREN'T EVEN SPICY! ICE IS SPICY! IF CHILLIES ARE SPICY, WHY ARE THEY CALLED CHILLIES????? Can't fight it!  BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Big Brother: Redtail's out! 

Redtail: Awww! D:


(Note: If anyone else is still in apart from the three mentioned below, please let me know. It's hard to keep track.)


(the camera zooms in to Ravenpaw, Rosepetal and Thornclaw)

Rosepetal: Final 3. Yeah. Woo. Go Rosepetal. I'm awesome. 

Thornclaw: Wow, I'm holding out really well! I wonder if I can actually win?

Ravenpaw: YEAH! TEAM RAVENPAW! 

Big Brother: I could really use a sandwich.

Ravenpaw: Oooh, can you get me one?

Big Brother: What? Since when are you telekinetic?

Ravenpaw: Telekinetic is moving things with your mind, dummy. This is telepathy.

Big Brother: Telepathy?

Ravenpaw: Yeah. I can communicate with you by thought.

Big Brother: You're really creepy. 

Ravenpaw: Shut up! You're just jealous of my powers!

Big Brother: How could I be? I have telekinesis too!

Ravenpaw: For the last time, you DO NOT have telekinesis, you have telepathy!

Big Brother: Wow, crabby. 

Ravenpaw: I'M NOT CRABBY!

Big Brother: Why are we even having this discussion?

Ravenpaw: You were going to make a sandwich and I asked for one. Go get it. 

Big Brother: Fine. 

(Big Brother walks in to the kitchen)


(5 minutes later)

(Big Brother comes out with a sandwich)

Ravenpaw: Where's mine?

Big Brother: Your what?

Ravenpaw: My sandwich that I asked for!

Big Brother: You wanted a sandwich?

Ravenpaw; DARN IT! YOU FORGOT MY SANDWICH! THIS IS THE LAST STRAW! IF SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENS, I'M GOING TO GET REALLY ANGRY!

Thornclaw: Hehe, this is going to be fun! (hits Ravenpaw over the head with a chair and places it next to Rosepetal)

Ravenpaw: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Big Brother: Ravenpaw's out!

Ravenpaw: WHO THE (bleep) HIT ME WITH THAT!? WHAT THE (bleep)? THAT REALLY (bleep) HURT! (bleep)! (bleep)! OW! OH, (bleep)! WHO WAS IT!? 

(Ravenpaw turns around and spots the chair beside Rosepetal) 

Ravenpaw: So it was you! I should have known. YOU (bleep) MOLE!

Rosepetal: Why does he think it was me. What have I done. (spots chair) Nuuuuuuuu. The Mole has Moled. Why did I have to be framed for it. Wait, maybe Ravenpaw hit himself with the chair. I bet Ravenpaw's the Mole. 

Ravenpaw: YOU COST ME THE CHALLENGE! DIE! (hits Rosepetal with the chair) 

Rosepetal: Nuuuuuuuu. That really hurt. Ow. 

Big Brother: Rosepetal's out! THORNCLAW WINS!

Thornclaw: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Spottedleaf: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Rosepetal: Nuuuuuuuu. You cost me the challenge, you Mole. 

Ravenpaw: I'M NOT THE MOLE!

Redtail: Is what the Mole would say. 

Big Brother: Enough talking about the Mole! Thornclaw, you must face the Four Cases of Doom!

(Big Brother walks Thornclaw over to the Four Cases of Doom) 

Big Brother: Thornclaw, you must now pick one of the cases. Your choice could influence the course of the game. One case contains a brand new laptop, one case contains a chance for you to meet Kirsten Stewart, one case contains $200 worth of pancakes, and one contains a slip for INSTANT EVICTION! Which case do you pick? 

Thornclaw: Case 2!

Big Brother: Open it.

Thornclaw: (opens case) Please be the pancakes... please be the pancakes... 

Big Brother: You got the $200 worth of pancakes!

Thornclaw: YES! WOOHOO! 

Mousefur: Are you going to share those? 

Graystripe: FOOOOOOOOOD?

Thornclaw: No! MY PANCAKES! MINE! (grabs pancakes and runs away)

Yellowfang: What a greedy pig! D:


WEEK THREE, EVICTION

Voice-over: Hello and welcome to the LIVE EVICTION! Please welcome your host, DAISY!

Ferncloud: This is Season Three, idiot!

Voice-over: Oh, right. Take two!

Please welcome your host, FERNCLOUD!

(Ferncloud walks on to stage)

Ferncloud: I can't believe he called me Daisy! Anyway, welcome to the LIVE EVICTION! It's our second eviction for the Season, and also tonight, the first she-cat will be evicted! Who's excited!?

(crickets chirp)

Ferncloud: Can someone shut those crickets up? 

Cat in Crowd: Sorry. (mauls crickets)

(high pitched cricket chirping, then silence)

Ferncloud: What... I didn't ask you to  kill the crickets! D:

Cat in Crowd: Sorry.

Ferncloud: Okay, who wants to look at the voting lines?

Crowd: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Ferncloud: Here they are then!

(Ferncloud crosses to the voting lines. They read:)

??? 59%

??? 30%

??? 11%


Ferncloud: Okay, that looks to be final, but as we all know, looks can be deceiving! For example, (pulls off costume) I'M A HAMSTER! 

Crowd: LE GASP!

Producer: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! MY LIFE IS RUINED!

Ferncloud: (pulls off costume) Just kidding! 

Producer: Oh, thank StarClan. 

Ferncloud: Anyway, back to what I was saying. Your last minute votes could still save your favourite! Here are the numbers you need!

Voice-over: To save LEAFPOOL, dial 1902 55 71 05! Or SMS LEAFPOOL to 161 661!

To save ROSEPETAL, dial 1902 55 71 09! Or SMS ROSEPETAL to 161 661!

To save YELLOWFANG, dial 1902 55 71 14! Or SMS YELLOWFANG to 161 661! 


Ferncloud: Those are the numbers! We're going to go to a break now to give you time to vote, but make sure to come back after! 


Rosepetal: Hey. Do you ever wish you could be as broing as me. 

Hazeltail: No. No one does!

Rosepetal: Well, your dreams are about to come true with the Boringinator, the world's only machine designed to make you more boring.

Hazeltail: That's just stupid! 

Rosepetal: Well, you may ask, how does this glorious machine work. It's simple. All you have to do is stand in front of the Boringinator and press the red button. Hazeltail, stand in front of the Boringinator. 

Hazeltail: No!

Rosepetal: Do it. This is an important ad. 

Hazeltail: No! I don't want to be boring!

Rosepetal: I won't ask you again. Do it. 

Hazeltail: I SAID NO! 

Rosepetal: DO IT!

Hazeltail: LE GASP! Did you just show emotion?

Rosepetal: What. No I didn't. You're dreaming. 

Hazeltail: I swear you just did. I heard you shout.

Rosepetal: Nuuuuuuuuu. My secret has been revealed. (runs in front of Boringinator) Boringinator, make me even more boring so I will never show emotion again. Hazeltail, press the button. 

Hazeltail: Okay! (Hazeltail preses the button)

(The Boringinator fires at Rosepetal)

Rosepetal: Woo. Now I'm even more boring.

Hazeltail: Oh dear...

Rosepetal: Did you see that, everyone. Do you want to be as boring as me now. Well, all you have to do is dial 1902 55 71 09. 

Hazeltail: Isn't that your save number on Big Brother?

Rosepetal: Shush. They'll never know. 

Hazeltail: Well, now they do. 

Rosepetal: Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. The real number to dial is 1800 888 888. For just 4 easy payments of $50, you can have your very own Boringinator. Woo. 


(after the ad break)

Ferncloud: Welcome back! Voting lines have closed, but before we reveal your votes, let's take a closer look at one of the rivalries in the house, Yellowfang Vs. Daisy! Oh, apparently, we prepared this awesome little sequence thingy with bits from the house. Here you go!

(screen changes)

Voice-over: It started with a broken mug...

(Daisy smashes Yellowfang's mug)

Yellowfang: MY FAVOURITE MUG! D: YOU MONSTER!

Voice-over: And turned in to an all out war! 

Yellowfang: (punches) NO ONE GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO TALK!

Voice-over: Now, directed by Bluestar and produced by Berrynose, comes the film documenting it all: Yellow Daisies: The Yellowfang and Daisy Story! Coming to cinemas April 14th 2014!

(screen goes blank)

Ferncloud: OOOOOOOOOOOOOH! BUY ME A TICKET, BUY ME A TICKET!!!!!!! Oh... It appears we showed you the wrong one. Oh, well, here's the actual one. 

(screen changes)

Voice-over: It started with a broken mug...

(Daisy smashes Yellowfang's mug)

Yellowfang: MY FAVOURITE MUG! D: YOU MONSTER!

Voice-over: And turned in to an all out war...

Yellowfang: (punches) NO ONE GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO TALK!

Voice-over: Which resulted in Daisy being hit by a car!

(Daisy gets hit by a car)

Daisy: Well, that's going to need a lot of stitches...

Voice-over: Fans have been quick to take their sides, but will this rivalry come to a screeching halt? Will Yellowfang be evicted tonight?

(screen goes blank)

Ferncloud: Am I the only one who thinks that's the best rivalry EVER?

Cat in Crowd: What about You vs. Bluestar?

Ferncloud: No one... is to ever speak of that again! (shoots cat)

Cat in Crowd: Ow! That really hurt!

Ferncloud: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I'M SORRY! D: (bursts in to tears)

Producer: (sigh) Just go to an ad break, Ferncloud. 

Ferncloud: NO! YOU DO IT! I'M TOO UPSET!

Producer: Uh... We'll be back after the break to find out which cat is safe!


(after the ad break)

Ferncloud: Welcome back, everyone! It's now time to reveal the cat who is safe!

(Ferncloud crosses to the house) 

Ferncloud: Hello, housemates!

Housemates: Hello!

Ferncloud: It's that time, housemates. We have to save a cat!

Rosepetal: Yay.

Leafpool and Yellowfang: YAY!

Ferncloud: Now, because there's only three of you, we can reveal who had the most votes! So, without further ado: The cat who has received the MOST votes to save and who will be staying in the house at least one more week is... YELLOWFANG!

Yellowfang: YES!

Daisy: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Yellowfang: (glares furiously) What was that?

Daisy: Uh... I dropped my pen. Yeah, my pen! (picks up pen) See?

Graystripe: That's... actually my pen. 

Daisy: No it's not!

Graystripe: Yes it is. 

Daisy: NO IT'S NOT! 

Graystripe: (whimpers)

Spiderleg: And you wonder why I hate you... 


Ferncloud: So, we now know Yellowfang is safe! But who will be evicted: Leafpool or Rosepetal? Come back after the break to find out!


(after the break)

Ferncloud: Welcome back! It's time to find out which cat will be leaving the Big Brother house tonight!

Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Ferncloud: Don't you dare.

(Ferncloud crosses to the house)

Ferncloud: Hi again!

Housemates: Hi!

Leafpool: Who's going home??? TELL US! It's important!

Rosepetal: Yeah. I have to know. I hope I beat Leafpool. That would be awesome.

Ferncloud: Okay. Let's get in to it!

Spottedleaf: BAHAHAHA, THAT SOUNDS WRONG!

Ferncloud: NUUUUUUUUUU! MOMENT RUINER! D:

Leafpool: JUST GET ON WITH IT!

Ferncloud: Okay. Spottedleaf, no moment ruining, please. 

Spottedleaf: Okay!

Ferncloud: Leafpool, Rosepetal, one of you is just seconds away from leaving the Big Brother house. After receiving the LEAST amount of votes to save, it's time to go... LEAFPOOL!

Leafpool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Rosepetal: Yeaaaaaaah. Wooooooo. I beat Leafpool. Yeah. Go Rosepetal. Go Rosepetal.

Big Brother: Leafpool, you have been evicted. You have 10 seconds to leave the house.

(everyone heads towards the exit)

Ravenpaw: Bye, Leafpool!

Mousefur: Bye!

Runningwind: Goodbye!

Spottedleaf: MEDICINE CAT DOWN! MEDICINE CAT DOWWWWWWWWWWWN!

Ivypool: Drama queen.

Leafpool:  Aw, bye Spottedleaf! Don't be upset!

Spottedleaf: BUT I AMMMMMMMMMMM!

Redtail: (slaps) Snap out of it!

Spottedleaf: (slaps Redtail) BRING IT ON!

Spiderleg: Guys, this is Leafpool's moment. Don't ruin it. 

Daisy: Yeah, moment ruiner.

Yellowfang: (punches Daisy) WHO SAID YOU COULD TALK!?

Graystripe: Hey, Leafpool, can I have your portion of food!

Thornclaw: GRAYSTRIPE! D:

Leafpool: Oh, sure, I don't care!

Graystripe: YAAAAAAAAAAY!

(the doors open)

Leafpool: Bye, everyone!

Everyone: BYE!

(Leafpool exits)


(on stage)

Ferncloud: Please welcome evictee number two, LEAFPOOL!

(Leafpool walks on to stage)

Leafpool: Yaaaaaaaaaay! Hiiiiiiiii! 

Ferncloud: Hi, Leafpool! 

Leafpool: That was so much fun! 

Ferncloud: I know, it was for me too! Anyway, sit down.

(They both sit)

Ferncloud: So, do you want to look at the voting lines?

Leafpool: Sure!

(Ferncloud crosses to the voting lines. They read:)

YELLOWFANG 59%

ROSEPETAL 30%

LEAFPOOL 11%


Leafpool: Awwwww, no fair! D: 11%?

Ferncloud: I'm sorry, Hey, how would you like to take a look at who nominated you?

Leafpool: Sure!

Ferncloud: Well, let's look!

(screen changes)

Ravenpaw: For 1 point I nominate LEAFPOOL...

Leafpool: Called it.

Thornclaw: ...LEAFPOOL

Leafpool: Called it.

Spiderleg: ...LEAFPOOL

Leafpool: Meh.

Ivypool: ...LEAFPOOL

Leafpool: What? D:

Redtail: ...LEAFPOOL

Leafpool: OH, COME ON!

Redtail: ...Because she never stops talking! It's driving me- HONK IF YOU LIKE PIG NOSES! I'M AN AWESOME CAR TRUCK!!!

(screen goes blank)


Leafpool: Did they really all nominate me for that?

Ferncloud: Most of them, yes. 

Leafpool: Intolerant fools! How would they like to live with a fear of silence?

Ferncloud: I guess no one would. 

Leafpool: Exactly!

Ferncloud: Weeeeeeeeell, let's take a look at your journey!

Leafpool: Okay!

(the screen changes)

Ferncloud: Please welcome housemate number thirteen, LEAFPOOL!

Leafpool: Yay! I'm on Big Brother! I'm so excited!


(Leafpool enters the house)

Leafpool: Yay! I'm in the house, I'm in the house, woo!

Ravenpaw: STOP TALKING!


Leafpool: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (faints)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (faints)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (faints)


(Leafpool is in the maze)

Leafpool: I HAVE A SCENT! I HAVE A SCENT! (crashes face first in to wall) NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! WHY DOES THE WALL SMELL LIKE CHEESEBURGER!?


(Leafpool is swinging on a wrecking ball)

Leafpool: I CAME IN LIKE A WREEEEEEEECKING BALL! (destroys wall)


Big Brother: I will now reveal the nominees for this week. On 14 points, LEAFPOOL!


(Leafpool and Redtail come running in as the ambulance)

Leafpool: (makes siren noises)

Mousefur: STOP BEING SO LOUD!

Leafpool: Sorry! We need to... uh, we need to... Line?

Seakit: (ejects Leafpool) YOU SCREWED UP! (screen goes blank)


Leafpool: That was so awesome!

Ferncloud: The house has loved having you, Leafpool, and we've loved watching you. You just have one more job to do before you leave. 

Leafpool: Yes?

Ferncloud: You have a superpower to give out! Who will you give it to?

Leafpool: I'll give it to SPOTTEDLEAF because we're Medicine Cat buddies!

Ferncloud: Okay! Well, folks, I'm Ferncloud and Leafpool has just been evicted. Good night!

Leafpool: Goodnight!

Producer: And... cut!

(silence)

Leafpool: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (faints)

Ferncloud: Oh, great.


The time has come: The Mole will FINALLY be revealed! Who will it be? How will the housemates react? Also, what happens when someone discovers a time machine? And who will be the best impersonator in the impressions challenge? Find out all this and MORE in Big Brother: ThunderClan Season 3/Week Four!

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