Note: 

http://warriorsfanfic.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:Tanglefrost101/Big_Brother:_ThunderClan_(BBTC)_Discussion_Blog


WEEK ONE, INTRO SHOW

Voice-over: Hello and welcome to BIG BROTHER: THUNDERCLAN: SEASON THREE! Please welcome your BRAND NEW host... FERNCLOUD!

(Ferncloud walks on to stage)

Ferncloud: Hello, every cat, and welcome to a brand new season of Big Brother: ThunderClan! 

Cat in Crowd: What happened to Daisy?

Ferncloud: She quit to become a contestant.

Cat in Crowd: So, who decided you'd be host?

Ferncloud: The producer asked me, and he'd already asked 10 different cats, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings and say no. Oh, and that reminds me, who referred to me as "brand new"? I'm not a supermarket item! D:

Producer: That was my fault. Sorry.

Ferncloud: That's okay, Mikey.

Producer: D:::::: YOU REVEALED MY NAME! I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!!!! 

Ferncloud: (bursts in to tears) I'M SORRY! D:

Producer: Ferncloud! You need to introduce the first housemate!

Ferncloud: Sorry. Okay, since you already know who she is, please welcome the FIRST housemate for Big Brother: ThunderClan Season 3, DAISY!

(Daisy walks on to stage)

Daisy: Hello!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Daisy: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Crowd: TRAITOR! YOU BETRAYED US! HOW DARE YOU BECOME A CONTESTANT?

Daisy: B-but I have the right to be one!

Crowd: YOU SUCK!

Cat in Crowd: (throws tennis ball at Daisy)

Daisy: AAAAAAAAH! (hides behind random pole)

Ferncloud: THAT'S ENOUGH! Stop trying to hurt Daisy! Whoever threw that, say sorry!

(no one says anything)

Ferncloud: Say sorry, or else I won't introduce any more housemates!

Cat in Crowd: Sorry.

Ferncloud: (purrs) Good. Now, Daisy, enter the house before something else gets thrown at you!

Daisy: Gladly! (runs in to house)


(in the house)

Daisy: Wow, I've never been on this side before! Cool! OMSC, THERE'S A POOL! AWESOME!

Big Brother: Daisy, welcome to the Big Brother house!

Daisy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Crap, you scared me Big Brother!

Big Brother: Daisy, it's nice to see you on this side of the house for a change.

Daisy: I know! I've hosted for two seasons, and now I'm competing! Yay!

Big Brother: Feel free to explore!

Daisy: (runs to bedroom) OMSC, TWOLEG BEDS! EEEEEEEEEE! (jumps on bed) I CALL THIS ONE! OMSC, THIS HOUSE IS AWESOME! I'm so glad I quit that stupid hosting job! I'm gonna win this show and never go back to the hosting job again!

Big Brother: That's nice.


(on stage)

Ferncloud: Daisy seems to be having fun! I've never seen her be so stupid! So, what do you think? Should we bring in another one to keep her company?

Crowd: YES!

Ferncloud: Yes, what?

Crowd: YES PLEASE!

Ferncloud: Okay, please welcome housemate number 2, RAVENPAW!

(Ravenpaw walks on to stage)

Ravenpaw: Wooo! I'm on BBTC!

Ferncloud: Hi, Ravenpaw! Welcome to the show!

Ravenpaw: (gasp) FERNCLOUD! I haven't seen you in ages! (hugs)

Ferncloud: Ravenpaw, as some cats know, you left ThunderClan a long time ago. Do you think that will be a disadvantage?

Ravenpaw: I hope not.

Ferncloud: Well, Ravenpaw, there's already one housemate waiting for you. Please enter the house!

(Ravenpaw enters)


(in the house)

Daisy: (is still bouncing on the bed) WEEEEEEEEEEE!

Big Brother: Daisy, get off the bed. There's another housemate waiting for you.

Daisy: (goes outside)

(Ravenpaw enters the house)

Ravenpaw: Daisy! Hi!

Daisy: AAAAAAAAAAH! CREEPY STALKER CAT WHO KNOWS MY NAME! (runs and hides)

Ravenpaw: (tackles) Calm down! I'm Ravenpaw. I left ThunderClan long ago.

Daisy: Then why are you here?

Ravenpaw: Because I'm part of ThundnerClan.

Daisy: But that's not fair to the others.

Ravenpaw: I don't care!

Daisy: Well, you should! 

Ravenpaw: Well, you're not even Clan-born!

Daisy: OMSC, how dare you go there! 

Ravenpaw: Well- :O RANDOM JELLY ON THE GROUND!

Daisy: :OOOOOOOO AWESOME!

Ravenpaw: FOOD FIGHT! (throws jelly at Daisy)

Daisy: NUUUUUUUUU! (picks up random box of shapes and throws it at Ravenpaw)

Ravenpaw: GAME ON!


Ferncloud; Oh, I love food fights! But they're a waste of food, though. 

Crowd: NEXT HOUSEMATE! NEXT HOUSEMATE!

Ferncloud: Okay! Please welcome housemate number three, MOUSEFUR!

(Mousefur walks on to stage)

Ferncloud: Hi, Mousefur!

Mousefur: Grumpeh le grumpity le grumpus!

Ferncloud: SPEAK ENGLISH!

Mousefur: Killjoy.

Ferncloud: So, Mousefur, any strategy for winning?

Mousefur: Be exactly like Jayfeather!

Ferncloud: Why?

Mousefur: Because he won obviously!

Ferncloud: Oh. Anyway, please enter the Big Brother house!

Mousefur: Okay!

(Mousefur enters)


(in the house)

Daisy: YAAAAAAAA! Prepare to die, Ravenpaw! (throws a smartie at him)

Ravenpaw: NUUUUUU! (throws a peanut butter sandwich at Daisy)

Daisy: (gasp) HOW DARE YOU!?

(Mousefur enters the house)

Mousefur: HELLO, INFERIOR- 

Ravenpaw:  (throws a jar of jalepenoes at Mousefur)

Mousefur: (is knocked out)

Daisy: MOUSEFUR! NUUUUUUUUU! (runs over to her) CAN YOU BREATHE!? ARE YOU ALIVE!?

Ravenpaw: (sneaks up on Daisy with a bowl of guacamole) Shhhh!

Daisy: Mousefur! MOUSEFUR! MOUSEFUR, WAKE THE (bleep) UP!

Ravenpaw: (dumps the bowl of guacamole on Daisy's head)

Daisy: WTF? NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I HATE MEXICAN FOOD! (punches Ravenpaw)

Big Brother: STOP IT! NO MORE FIGHTING!

Daisy: Sorry, Big Brother!

Ravenpaw: Yeah, sorry.

(Mousefur wakes up)

Mousefur: What happened?

Daisy: MOUSEFUR! YAY!

Ravenpaw: MOUSEFUR! HELP ME GET RID OF THIS LOONY!

Big Brother: Mousefur, glad to see you're awake!

Mousefur: Grumpeteh le grump-

Big Brother: Please don't.

Mousefur: Grumpeteh le grumpus grumpeh grump!

Big Brother: Mousefur, if you speak another word of grump, you'll be evicted. Got it?

Mousefur: Got it.

Big Brother: Good.

Ravenpaw: Why on earth did I come back to ThunderClan?


(on stage)

Ferncloud: Please welcome housemate number four, REDTAIL!

(Redtail walks on to stage)

Redtail: Hello, Ferncloud!

Ferncloud: Hello, first cat to die in Warriors!

Redtail: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! THE ERINS HATE ME! D:

Ferncloud: Sorry, I had to say it. Now, Redtail, I have one question to ask you before you enter the house.

Redtail: Yes?

Ferncloud: It's common knowledge that you're related to Willowpelt, are you crazy like her?

Redtail: No! I'm not- BAHAHAHAHAHAHA RED-TAILED SQUIRRELS!- I'm not crazy!

Ferncloud: What did you say?

Redtail: I said I wasn't crazy.

Ferncloud: Really? I thought you said... never mind. Enter the house!

Redtail: YAAAAY!


(in the house)

Big Brother: I hope you three are cleaning that up!

Mousefur: But I didn't do anything! D:

(Redtail enters)

Ravenpaw: (gasp) REDTAIL!

Redtail: RAVENPAW! Ya- Holy crap, it looks like a bomb went off in here. What happened?

Daisy: We had an epic food fight!

Mousefur: Yeah!

Redtail: NUUUUUUUUUUUU! I MISSED IT! D:

Mousefur: Yeah!

Daisy: And now we have to clean it up!

Mousefur: Yeah!

Ravenpaw: For StarClan's sake, stop saying "yeah!"

Mousefur: Yeah!

Daisy: STOP IT!

Mousefur: Yeah!

Redtail: STOP IT!

Mousefur: Yeah!

Big Brother: Stop it or you'll be evicted.

Mousefur: Okay.

Big Brother: Now, clean that up.

Mousefur: Yeah!

Everyone: SHUT UP, MOUSEFUR!!!!


Ferncloud: Poor Mousefur! D: Okay, it's time to introduce the next housemate! Please welcome housemate number five, ROSEPETAL!

(Rosepetal walks on to stage)

Rosepetal: Hi, Ferncloud.

Ferncloud: Hi, Rosepetal! Looking forward to going in to the house?

Rosepetal: Yeah, I guess.

Ferncloud: Wow, I forgot how boring you are.

Rosepetal: (does angry face like Kristen Stewart)

Ferncloud (starts laughing) YOU DO THAT PERFECTLY!!!!!!! 

Rosepetal: That's my real angry face. o.O

Ferncloud: It is? But it looks like an emotionless face.

Rosepetal: Shut up.

Ferncloud: Okay. Enter the house, Kristen Stewart Jr.

Rosepetal: Don't call me that or I'll maul you with a screwdriver. (enters the house)

Ferncloud: She'd make the perfect Kristen Stewart stunt double! xD


(Rosepetal enters the house)

Rosepetal: Hello, world, it is me, Rosepetal.

Daisy: ROSEPETAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL! EEEEEEEEEE! (tacklehugs)

Rosepetal: Hi, mum.

Ravenpaw: HI, RANDOM CAT!

Rosepetal: Hello. Wow, this house is weird. (walks around)

Ravenpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! DON'T BE BORING! BE FUN! D:

Rosepetal: But this is my fun face.

Redtail: HI, KRISTEN STEWART!!!!

Rosepetal: I'm not Kristen Stewart. If anyone calls me that again. I'm going to kill them.

Mousefur: Rosepetal! Hi!

Rosepetal: Hi, Mousefur.

Mousefur: Woah. When did Kristen Stewart posses you?

Daisy: STOP CALLING MY DAUGHTER KRISTEN STEWART! Her name is Rosepetal!

Rosepetal: Oh My StarClan, stop calling me Kristen Stewart. Seriously, I'm not Kristen Stewart. The next cat to call me that will be mauled.

Redtail: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA KRISTEN STEWART!

Rosepetal: Redtail, how could you say that. OMSC, I hate you. (mauls)

Redtail: NUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Rosepetal: Stop calling me Kirsten Stewart.

Ravenpaw: Wow, it's going to be a boring season with her!

Mousefur: Agreed.


(on stage)

Ferncloud: (is asleep) No, Dustpelt, don't use the microwave, use the oven!

Producer: FERNCLOUD! WAKE UP!

Ferncloud: (wakes up) Wha'? Oh, she was so boring, I fell asleep listening to her! Anyway, hopefully this next housemate isn't boring! Here he is, housemate number six, GRAYSTRIPE!

(Graystripe walks on to stage)

Graystripe: (is munching on Doritos) Hi, Ferncloud!

Ferncloud: Graystripe, didn't you read the sign? NO OUTSIDE FOOD!

Graystripe: NUUUUUUUUUU! DON'T TOUCH MY DORITOS!

Ferncloud: SECURITY!

(nothing happens)

Ferncloud: Producer! What happened to security?

Producer: Gave them the day off.

Ferncloud: But, Graystripe won't hand his Doritos over, and there's no outside food!

Producer: Graystripe, hand 'em over.

Graystripe: NO! MINE! (snarls)

Producer: Oh. Well, in that case. (gets out rifle)

Graystripe: (falls to the floor in shock) NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! DON'T KILL ME! D:

Ferncloud: Producer, put the gun down, that's creeping me out! (hides behind random pole)

Producer: (shoots Doritos)

(the packet explodes)

Graystripe: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! NOW I NEED SOMETHING ELSE TO EAT!

Ferncloud: Don't look at me. I'm not giving you food.

Graystripe: Say, Ferncloud, that's a delicious looking head you have there. May I eat it?

Ferncloud; NUUUUUUUUUU! DON'T EAT MY HEAD! D: (protects head)

Graystripe: But I'm hungry! D:

Ferncloud: There's food in the house!

Graystripe: FOOOOOOOOOOOD!

(Graystripe enters the house)


(in the house)

(Graystripe enters)

Graystripe: Where's the food?

Mousefur: I love how that's the first thing he says. Graystripe! Hi!

Graystripe: Hi!

Ravenpaw: GRAAAAAAAAAAY- (trips and falls in to the pool)

Everyone but Rosepetal: (laughs)

Rosepeteal: Oh My StarClan. That was so funny. 

Graystripe: Hi, Rosepetal! WHERE'S THE FOOD?

Rosepetal: Yay, Graystripe's here. I'm so excited. Woo.

Graystripe: When did Kristen Stewart enter?

Rosepetal: I'm not Kristen Stewart. Why is everyone saying that.

Redtail: Because you're boring.

Graystripe: REDTAIL! OMSC, YOU'RE FAMOUS!

Redtail: AND YOU LIKE FANTASTIC UNICORN MUNCHIES, YOU MUNCHIE MUNCHER! 

Graystripe: Uh... what?

Redtail: I'm sorry... I have no idea what came over me!

Graystripe: Anyway, now that introductions are out of the way, FOOOOOOOOOOOD! (runs to kitchen)

Mousefur: (shrugs) Typical Graystripe. What else did you expect?


Ferncloud: Please welcome housemate number seven, SPOTTEDLEAF!

(Spottedleaf runs on to stage)

Spottedleaf: Let me in, quick! Before Sandstorm comes!

(Sandstorm walks on to stage)

Sandstorm: Cuddly toy, get off there! That's for housemates!

Spottedleaf: But I am a housemate!

Sandstorm: You lie, cuddly toy! Cuddly toys can't be housemates!

Ferncloud: (shows Sandstorm the housemate list) Actually, she is.

Sandsstorm: B-b-b-but, who will be my cuddly toy now? (bottom lip quivers)

Ferncloud: Spottedleaf, enter the house please.

Spottedleaf: Gladly!

Sandstorm: NUUUUU! Cuddly toy, come back!

(Spottedleaf enters the house)

Sandstorm: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME, CUDDLY TOY!? 


(in the house)

(Spottedleaf enters)

(Spottedleaf trips over)

Spottedleaf: UGH! THE ERINS HATE ME! D:

Redtail: They hate me more!

Spottedleaf: OMSC, REDTAIL! (tacklehugs) 

Rosepetal: Wow. Strange cat that I don't know. Who is this cat.

Mousefur: Shut up, Kristen Stewart!

Rosepetal: I'm not Kristen Stewart.

Mousefur: Yes you are!

Ravenpaw: (gasp) Could it be?

Redtail: Could what be?

Ravenpaw: Could it be Spottedleaf?

Spottedleaf: It could and it is! Hello, cat who ditched everyone and went to live on the farm! Just kidding, Ravenpaw, I love you.

Ravenpaw: I thought you loved Fireheart?

Spottedleaf: I love everything! (hugs grass) I love you, grass! (hugs Rosepetal) I love you, Kristen Stewart!

Rosepetal: Why does everyone keep calling me that. I swear, if one more cat calls me Kristen Stewart, I'm going to explode.

Spottedleaf: Where's the other housemate? Surely there are six.

Ravenpaw: GRAYSTRIPE! NEW HOUSEMATE!

Graystripe: (from the kitchen) FOOOOOOOOOOOD! OMNOMNOM!

Spottedleaf: Graystripe, honey, bring your food in a takeaway bag. (throws takeaway bag in the kitchen)

Graystripe: (from the kitchen) NUUUUUUUUUUU! RANDOM FLYING BAG! D:

Mousefur: Put your food in it and come out here!

Redtail: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Everyone: (glances at Redtail)

Redtail: Why do I keep doing that?

Graystripe: Okay! (puts food in a takeaway bag and comes outside)

Spottedleaf: Graystripe! I love you! (hugs)

Graystripe: And I love food! (hugs bag)

(the bag tips over and everything falls out)

Graystripe: (falls to knees) NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Daisy: HEY! Give me a line! D:

Spottedleaf; Hi, strange cat! I love you! (hugs)

Daisy: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! THIS IS CREEPY! D:


Ferncloud: Director, why aren't you giving Daisy any lines? That's rude.

Producer: Ferncloud! Just introduce the next housemate!

Ferncloud: Please welcome housenate number eight, RUNNINGWIND!

(Runningwind walks on to stage, wearing a T-shirt with Ivypool's face on it and carrying Ivypool posters)

Ferncloud: Uh... Runningwind? That's a little creepy.

Runningwind: But I love Ivypool! She's so amazing! Her sister is such a douche! Is Ivypool in the house? Please tell me she is!

Ferncloud: You'll have to wait and see, honey. Contract says I'm not allowed to tell you who's in the house.

Runningwind: NUUUUUUUUUU! LET ME IN!

Ferncloud: Honey, you have to wait for the doors to open.

(the doors open)

Runningwind: I'm coming, Ivypool! (runs in to the house as quickly as humanely possible)

Ferncloud: Well, that was weird.


(in the house)

Graystripe: Why, food? Why? Why did you have to die? You were so beautiful!

Rosepetal: It's just food. Stop being so dramatic.

Graystripe: Well, at least I can be dramatic, Kristen Stewart!

Rosepetal: Stop calling me that. 

Daisy; WHY DO I NEVER HAVE ANY LINES!?

Redtail: Because it's just like that.

Spottedleaf: Oh, baby, it's okay. (hugs Daisy)

Mousefur: GROUP HUG! (runs over)

Daisy: NO! My hug! Go away!

Mousefur: NUUUUUUUUU!

(Runningwind enters the house)

Runningwind: I'M COMING, IVYPOOL! WHERE ARE YOU!?

Daisy: Ivypool isn't here, strange cat who's obsessed with Ivypool!

Rosepetal: Ohy My StarClan. Why are all the cats from the first arc entering.

Runningwind: SHUT UP, KRISTEN STEWART! I need to find Ivypool!

Rosepetal: Why does everyone call me Kristen Stewart.

Ravenpaw: Runningwind! Hi!

Runningwind: (tackles Ravenpaw) Ravenpaw, you won't lie to me like these traitors! Where's Ivypool?

Ravenpaw: I don't know who that is...

Runningwind: (shows poster) It's her! Where is she?

Ravenpaw: Oh, she isn't here.

Runningwind: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU BETRAYED ME TOO! D: IVYPOOOOOOOOL! (starts crying)

Redtail: Oh, for the love of StarClan, Runningwind! 

Runningwind: Go away! You'll never understand the love we have! 

Mousefur: But you're about 5 years older than her.

Runningwind: No one understands! (weeps)

Spottedleaf: (hugs Runningwind) Runningwind, it's okay! I'm sure she'll come in later!

Runningwind: (kicks Spottedleaf in the pool) No, you have no permission to hug me! Only Ivypool can do that!

Spottedleaf: (splashes around madly) HELP MEEEEEEE! I'M MELTING! I'M MELTIIIIIIING! D:

Rosepetal: It's just water. Stop being so dramatic. 

Spottedleaf: Well, at least I can be dramatic, Kristen Stewart!

Rosepetal: Stop calling me that. That's really annoying.

Daisy: STOP MAKING FUN OF MY DAUGHTER! Her name is Rosepetal, you kit-brained idiots!

Runningwind: (is still weeping) IVYPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! D:


Ferncloud: Prepare for the most awkward moment in history! Please welcome housemate number nine, IVYPOOL!

(Ivypool walks on to stage)

Ferncloud: Ivypool!

Ivypool: Why did you say that?

Ferncloud: Say what?

Ivypool: Before I came on, you said "prepare for the most awkward moment in history.":

Fernclouid: I didn't say that!

Ivypool: Yes you did, I heard you. Now, what did you mean? 

Ferncloud: I... Well, I... Uh... (boots Ivypool in to the house)

Ivypool: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Ferncloud: (wipes brow) Phew!


(in the house)

Ivypoool: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (thud)

Redtail: Ivypool!

Daisy: Hi, Ivypool!

Ivypool: Hi, Daisy and Redtail!

Rosepetal: Yay. Ivypool's here. Woo.

Ivypool: Hi, Rosepetal!

Rosepetal: I didn't get called Kristen Stewart. Yay.

Graystripe: Ivypool! Have you got any food?

Ivypool: Nope.

Graystripe: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Need food, need food, need food... (runs to bedroom) AW, YES! I FOUND A HEAP OF CHOCOLATES!

Daisy: (runs to bedroom) They'd better not be from under my bed! 

Redtail: CHOCOLATE! (runs to bedroom)

Mousefur: But cats can't even taste sweet thing- Oh, never mind, this is a spoof. (runs to bedroom)

Rosepetal: Wait for me. (runs to bedroom)

Ivypool: Why is every cat fighting over chocolate when we can't taste sweet things?

Spottedleadf: (grabs Ivypool's paw) Quick, honey, you need to come with me.

Ivypool: Why?

Spottedleaf: Because we need to hide you from-

Runningwind: Is that Ivypool?

Spottedleaf: Oh, no, I was too late!

Ivypool: What's going on?

Runningwind: IVYPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! (tacklehugs)

Ivypool: AAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Mousefur comes running from the bedroom) 

Mousefur: I have to see this!

Rosepetal: Me too. (comes running)

Daisy: And me! (runs)

Ravenpaw: And me as well! (comes running)

Redtail: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AWESOME POTATO FACE! Why do I keep doing that? Anyway, show time! (comes running)

(everyone waits for Graystripe)

Graystripe: (from bedroom) FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Daisy: Oh, well, he's not coming.

Mousefur: Continue.

Runningwind: IVYPOOOOOOL! (starts licking her everywhere) I LOVE YOU!

Ivypool: Okay, dude, you're creeping me out!

Runningwind: SIGN MY FUR! HAVE MY KITS! MARRY MEEEEEEEEEEE! (rubs his head all over her fur)

Ivypool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! This is DoveXBumble all over again! Why do I have to be like my sister? Whyyyyyyy?

Ravenpaw: Okay, lunatic, time to give Ivypool her private time. (drags Runningwind off Ivypool)

Runningwind: (pushes Ravenpaw in the pool) YOU SHALL NEVER KEEP ME AWAY FROM MY LOVE! (dives back on to Ivypool) Come on.

Ivypool: (desperately tries to crawl away) Help... me!

(the microwave dings)

Daisy: Oooh, the popcorn's ready! (runs to the kitchen)

Graystripe: FOOOOOOOOOOD! (runs after her)

Mousefur: Oh, I want popcorn! (runs to kitchen)

Ravenpaw: Me too! (runs to kitchen)

Rosepetal: And me. (runs to kitchen)

Spottedleaf: (doesn't really know whether to join the others or help Ivypool) What should I?

Redtail: Spottedleaf, quick! Graystripe's eating all the popcorn!

Ivypool: Don't...

Spottedleaf: Popcorn! (runs to kitchen)

Ivypool: Spottedleaf! How could you? D:

Spottedleaf: I'm sorry! D:

Runningwind: (sigh) I can't wait for us to grow old together...

Ivypool: (to public) Please vote me off first? Please?

Runningwind: NUUUUUUUUUUUU! DON'T YOU DARE!

Ivypool: Please!? D:


(on stage) 

Ferncloud: Poor Ivypool! How could the housemates be so mean? I'm going to go in there and make them all say sorry! (marches to the doors)

Producer: FERNCLOUD! Next one!

Ferncloud: Please welcome housemate number ten... EEEEEEEEEEEEE! IT'S DUSTPELT!

(Duspelt walks on to stage)

Dusteplt: FERNYYYYYYYYYYYYY! (hugs)

Ferncloud: DUSTYYYYYYY! (hugs)

Dustpelt: Oooh, can you use your host powers to make me win?

Producer: NO!

Ferncloud: I don't have any host powers.

Dustpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUU! Oh, by the way, Ferncloud, did you remember to set all of Season 3 of Attack of the Mutant Potatoes to record?

Ferncloud: Yes, I did. You won't miss any of it.

Cat in Crowd: That's a stupid show!

Dustpelt: IT IS NOT!

Cat in Crowd: Yes it is!

Dustpelt: NO, IT'S NOT!

Ferncloud: SAY SORRY!

Cat in Crowd: NO!

Ferncloud: (blows up cat) 

Dustpelt: o.O

Ferncloud: Okay, now you may enter the house!

(Dustpelt enters through the doors)


(in the house)\

(Duspelt enters)

(no one is there)

Dustpelt: Where is everyone? Surely I'm not the first to enter- I was waiting for ages!

Spottedleaf: (from kitchen) We're in the kitchen eating popcorn!

Dustpelt: Spottedleaf, is that- wait, did you say popcorn?

Spottedleaf: Yes! Who's that?

Dustepelt: It's Dustpelt!

Ravenpaw: DUSTPELT! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Dustpelt: POCORN! (runs in to kitchen)


(in the kitchen)

Dusteplt: POPCOOOOOOOORN!

Graystripe: All gone! (burp)

Dustpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Daisy: D:::::: Now I feel guilty!

Redtail: BAHAHAHAHAHA- STOP IT! D:

Dustpelt: Hi, everyone!

Rosepetal: Yay. Dustpelt. Another cat I know. Woo.

Dustpelt: (falls asleep)

Rosepetal: Am I really that boring.

Runningwind: Yes, you are. Now, where's Ivypool?

Ivypool: Dustpelt! Help!

Dustpelt: (wakes up) What's going on?

Mousefur: My brother's a stalker.

Dustpelt: Oh. Runningwind, stay back!

Runningwind: NUUUUUUUUU! You can't deny our love! (throws Dustpelt on to Mousefur)

Mousefur: (in flirting voice) Well, hello, there.

Dustpelt: AAAAAAH! I have a mate!

Redtail: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Graystripe: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Daisy: o.O

Ravenpaw: Why are o.Oing?

Daisy: Redtail's being weird.

Dustpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUU! I WENT IN TO A HOUSE FULL OF WEIRDOS! D:


(on stage)

Ferncloud: MOUSEFUR! STAY AWAY FROM DUSTY!

Producer: Next one!

Ferncloud: Here's housemate eleven, YELLOWFANG!

(Yellowfang walks on to stage, carrying a crystal ball)

Yellowfang: (waves paw over crystal ball) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Ommmmmmmmmmm!

Ferncloud: Uh, Yellowfang? Hello?

Yellowfang: Ommmmmm- shut up Ferncloud, I'm trying to predict the future here!-Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Ferncloud: Okay. We'll wait for you then.

Yellowfang: Ommmmmmmmmmmmm! Ommmmmmmmmmmmm! Ommmmmmm!

Ferncloud: Are you finished?

Yellowfang: Ommmmmmmmmm- A-HA! I have predicted the future!

Ferncloud: What have you predicted, oh wise and poweful psychic?

Yellowfang: Do I hear sarcasm? Anyway, I have predicteed my finish in the competition! I will finish (bleep)! HA-HA! I was bleeped, so it must be true! I am the wise and powerful Yellowfang!

Ferncloud: How amazing. Go and predict the future of the house, Yellowfang!

Yellowfang: (waves paw over crystal ball) Ommmmmmmmmm!

Ferncloud: Inside the house!

Yellowfang: Oh, okay, (enters house)


(in the house)

Dustpelt: Why did I enter the house? This show is driving me insane!

Rosepetal: Yes. Me too.

Dustpelt: Stop being so boring! AAAAAAAAH!

(Yellowfang enters)

Yellowfang: Greetings, one and all! I am the powerful and mighty psychic, Yellowfang!

Redtail: Yellowfang!

Daisy: Hi, Yellowfang!

Ravenpaw: Yellowfang! Another first arc cat! Oh, we are going to rule!

Rosepetal: Nuuuuu. Another first arc cat. Why.

Spottedleaf: Yellowfang! It's so good to see you!

Yellowfang: You too!

Mousefur: Yellowfang! This is urg-

Runningwind: (shoves Mousefur out of the way) Predict the future for me! WIll I end up with Ivypool?

Ivypool: NUUUUUUU!

Graystripe: xD This is gonna be good!

Yellowfang: Okay, everyone stand back! 

(everyone stands back)

Mousefur: Hey! I wanted to talk to-

Yellowfang: SHUSH! I NEED TO PREDICT THE FUTURE!

Mousefur: Okay.

Yellowfang: (waves paw over crystal ball) Magical ball! Show me tthe futurre! Will Runningwind end up with Ivypool? Ommmmmmm! Ommmmmmmmmmmm! Ommmmmm!

Ivypool: Please no, please no!

Runningwind: Please yes, please yes!

Yellowfang: Ommmmmmmmm- A-HA! The future has been predicted!

Runningwind: What is it? Tell meeeeeeeee!

Yellowfang: The answer is: YES!

Ivypool: WHAT!? NUUUUUUUUUUU!

Runningwind: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! (hugs Ivypool) I LOVE YOU!

Ivypool: Help me! D:

Mousefur: Yellowfang! This is important!

Yellowfang: What is it?

Mousefur: Can you speak grump?

Yellowfang: Grumeph grump!

Mousefur: (gasp) Grumpeh grumpeh grumnp! 

Yellowfang: GRUMPETEH! 

Graystripe: What are they talking about? Is it food? Speak English!

Mousefur: Grumpus le grumpeh gru-

Big Brother: NO! NO CONVERSATIONS IN GRUMP!

Mousefur: NUUUUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: This is your final chance! I swear, if I catch either of you speaking grump once more, and I mean even once more, you will be evicted! Got it?

Yellowfang: Yes, Big Brother.

Mousefur: Yes.

Big Brother: Thank you.

Mousefur: Dang! I can't even speak grump in my own house!

Big Brother: IT'S NOT YOUR HOUSE! IT'S MINE!

Mousefur: Jeez, calm down...


(on stage)

Ferncloud: Let's welcome housemate twelve, THORNCLAW!

(Thornclaw walks on to stage)

Thornclaw: Hi, Ferncloud! OMSC, am I really on Big Brother?

Ferncloud: Yes.

Thornclaw: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! House, here I come! (sprints in to house)

Ferncloud: Well, that was the shortest introduction ever.


(in the house)

(Thornclaw enters)

Thornclaw: HI, EVERYONEEEEEEEE! I'M SO EXCITED! WOOOOOO!

Rosepetal: Yay. I'm excited too. Hi, Thornclaw.

Thornclaw: Go away, Kristen Stewart!

Rosepetal: Shut up.

Daisy: Thornclaw! Yay! But, stop calling her Kristen Stewart!

Thornclaw: Daisy! Yay!

Redtail: Thornclaw! Hello! 

Thornclaw: The famous Redtail! YAAAAAAAAAY! OMSC, WHY AM I SO EXCITED!?

Ravenpaw: Hi, Thornclaw!

Thornclaw: Ravenpaw! EEEEEEEEE! I haven't seen you in moons!

Ravenpaw: I know, right!

Mousefur: Thornclaw, hi!

Thornclaw: MOUSEFUR! MY OLD MENTOR! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! (hugs Mousefur)

Spottedleaf: Hi, Thornclaw! 

Thornclaw: SPOTTEDLEAAAAAAAAAAF!

Dustpelt: Thornclaw! Please don't be weird!

Thornclaw: DUSTPELT! WOOOOOOOOO! (hugs)

Dustpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUUU! Another weirdo! D: (jumps in to the bottom of the pool and stays there)

Thornclaw: Is he ever coming out?

Daisy: I don't think so.

(Graystripe comes running from the kitchen)

Graystripe: THORNCLAW! Got any food?

Thornclaw: Oh, sure. (throws random box of cereal at Graystripe)

Graystripe: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (runs to the kitchen)


Ivypool: Thornclaw! HELP! D:

Thornclaw: What's wrong?

Runningwind: (runs after Ivypool) MY LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! We were meant to be together! Yellowfang predicted it! MARRY MEEEEEEEEE!

Ivypool: HELP! D:

Thornclaw: Oh... Well, I... Um... (jumps in to the pool and sinks down to the bottom)

Ivypool: Oh, come on! D:

Yellowfang: HEY! YOU DIDN'T GREET ME! D:

Thornclaw: (pops head out of the pool) Hi, Yellowfang!

Yellowfang: Hi!

Thornclaw: (pops head back under pool) 

Yellowfang: Thank you.

Thornclaw: (to Dustpelt) So... it's just you and me down here, huh?

Dustpelt: Yep.


Ferncloud: Please welcome housemate thirteen, LEAFPOOL!

(Leafpool walks on to stage)

Leafpool: Yay! I'm on Big Brother! I'm so ecited! Wow, I've been waiting 3 seasons for this! Hopefully I get further than my family. Did you know we finished last, 8th and second last? Our family kinda sucks.

Ferncloud: Do you ever stop talking?

Leafpool: No, because I have Sedatephobia, which is the fear of silence, so I have to keep talking and talking and talking so it's never silent!

Ferncloud: Oh, okay.

Cat in Crowd: EVERYBODY SHUT UP! 

Ferncloud: Don't...

(silence)

Leafpool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! SILENCE! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! (starts hyperventilating)

Ferncloud: Quick! Everyone talk!

Cat in Crowd: Why?

Ferncloud: Because there's no time to find a replacement contestant if she gets evacuated, which means there's one less contestant, which means that Season 3 will be one episode shorter! D:

(everyone starts talking again)

Leafpool: (starts breating normally again) Phew! I'm okay, I'm okay!

Ferncloud: Please enter the house!

Leafpool: Okay! (enters the house)


(in the house)

(Leafpool enters the house)

Leafpool: Yay! I'm in the house, I'm in the house, woo! Hopefully I win. I mean, wouldn't that be awesome? I'd love to win!

Daisy: Do you ever stop talking?

Leafpool: Ferncloud already asked me that, but no, I don't, because I have a fear of silence.

Daisy: Right.

Yellowfang: Hi, Leafpool!

Leafpool: Hi, Yellowfang! Wow, another Medicine Cat! Isn't this great? We can be Medicine Cat buddies!

Yellowfang: Why don't you stop talking? D:

Rosepetal: Yay. Leafpool's here. Awesome.

Leafpool: Wow, hello, Kristen Stewart! Did you guys know Kristen Stewart was in Twilight? She played Bella Swan!

Rosepetal: Stop calling me that.

Graystripe: LEAFPOOL! Got any food?

Leafpool: No, I don't have food! Why do you need food? Surely you've already got food. I'm not a charity, you know! 

Ravenpaw: LEAFPOOL! I knew your father!

Leafpool: Yeah, I know you, Ravenpaw! It's great to finaly meet you for more than one chapter. Don't you think it's great? Wow, I'm gonna have an awesome time!

Ravenpaw: Please stop talking.

Thornclaw: Hey, Leafpool!

Redtail: HI, LEAFPOOL!

Spottedleaf: LEAFPOOL!

Leafpool: Oh, wow, it's Spottedleaf! My dream guider who guides me through my dreams! Wow, Spottedleaf, it's nice to meet you in non-spirit form!

Ravenpaw: WHY DOESN'T SHE STOP TALKING!? D:

Mousefur: Hi, Leafpool!

Leafpool: Mousefur! Hi! Isn't it nice to be in the Big Brother house? I think it is. YAY!

Ravenpaw: Stop. Talking.

Dustpelt: (hops out of the pool) Is this one sane?

Leafpool: Dustpelt! I'm sane. Are you sane? Isn't everyone sane? Or are we all insane? HAHAHAHAHA!

Dustpelt: Nope. (hops back in to pool)

Ivypool: LEAFPOOL! GET RUNNINGWIND AWAY FROM ME!

Runningwind: MY LOVE! DON'T RUN! EMBRACE YOUR FEELINGS FOR ME!

Leafpool: Runningwind, you should stop creeping Ivypool out, because it's creeping us out. Do you like that? Huh? Do you? Stop it, creep!

Runningwind: NEVER! (pushes Leafpool in the pool)

Leafpool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Dustpelt: GET AWAY FROM ME, FREAK! (runs out of the pool)

Leafpool: (climbs out of pool) I'm not a freak. What's a freak? Not me!

Big Brother: SHUT UP!

(silence)

Leafpool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! SILENCE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (faints)

Mousefur: O...kay then.


(on stage)

Ferncloud: Please welcome the fourteenth and final housemate entering tonight, SPIDERLEG!

(Spiderleg walks on to stage)

Ferncloud: Spiderleg! Last housemate! How are you feeling?

Spiderleg: I feel good! And I knew that I would! I feel good!

Ferncloud: Quoting random song lyrics, are we, Spiderleg?

Spiderleg: Maybe.

Ferncloud: What's your strategy for winning?

Spiderleg: Alliances! It's all about alliances! Oh, and you also have to be nice to every cat so none of them will nominate you.

Ferncloud: I did that, and I got nominated quite a bit!

Spiderleg: Yeah, but you suck, so...

Ferncloud: D: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I DON'T SUCK!

Spiderleg: Yes you do.

Ferncloud: Get in the house, you mood wrecker!

Spiderleg: Fine.

(Spiderleg enters the house)


(in the house)

Leafpool: YAY! YAY! YAY! I wonder who the last housemate will be? Who do you think it will be? I couldn't guess!

Ravenpaw: Why won't you shut up? D:

Dustpelt: Whoever they are, I hope they're sane!

(Spiderleg enters the house)

Runningwind: SPIDERLEG! HOLD IVYPOOL DOWN SO SHE CAN'T ESCAPE ME!

Ivypool: NUUUUUUUUUU! SPIDERLEG, HELP ME! D:

Spiderleg: What's going on? D:

Leafpool: Well, Runningwind's obsessed with Ivypool, so he's being really creepy!

Spiderleg: Right.

Rosepetal: Daddy's here. Yay. Awesome. (tacklehugs)

Spiderleg: Rosepetal, I wish you'd show a little more emotion!

Dustpelt: (hops out of the pool) Are you sane?

Spiderleg: Hi, Dustpelt!

Dustpelt: Yay! Sane cat! You are now my ally!

Spiderleg: YAY!

Yellowfang: Hello, Spiderleg!

Ravenpaw: Hi, Spiderleg! Nice to meet you!

Spiderleg: Yeah, you too.

Daisy: Spiderleg...

Spiderleg: Daisy...

Redtail: REDTAIL! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'M A GUINEA PIG!

Spiderleg: What?

Redtail: Why do I keep doing that?

Spottedleaf: Spiderleg! Oh, honey, it's so good to see you!

Spiderleg: Yeah, you too, strange cat.

Mousefur: That's Spottedleaf. And hi, Spiderleg.

Spiderleg: Hi, Mousefur!

Graystripe: NEED MORE FOOOOOOOOD! SPIDERLEG, DO YOU HAVE FOOD?

Spiderleg: Huh?

Thornclaw: He always asks that. Just ignore him.

Graystripe: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Spiderleg: I haven't got any. Sorry.

Graystripe: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: Oh, good, you're all here. All housemates to the lounge.

Daisy: What? But the show always ends after the fourteenth housemate enters.

Big Brother: I know, but this time I have some dramatic news. All housemates to the lounge.

Spottedleaf: Where's that?

Daisy: (bounces up and down) I know where it is!

Spiderleg: Then take us there.

Rosepetal: I wonder what the news is.


(in the lounge)

Big Brother: Housemates, welcome to Big Brother: ThunderClan Season 3!

Everyone: THANKYOU!

Big Brother: You're probably wondering why I called you here, yes?

Graystripe: WHYYYYYYYYYYYY!?

Ravenpaw: Yeah, why?

Graystripe: I NEED FOOD!

Thornclaw: Shut up about food!

Big Brother: Well, I have some dramatic news.

Leafpool: What is it?

Big Brother: One of you... Is the mole!

Everyone: (shocked gasp)

Big Brother: One of you has been selected by me to be a mole and sabotage challenges, among other things. At the end of the Week 4 Nominations, you will vote for who you think is the mole. If the mole has the highest number of votes, they fail, and will be evicted. However, if someone else has the highest number of votes, they will be automatically nominated in Week 5, and the mole receives a special superpower. 

Leafpool: Ooooh! 

Yellowfang: Creepy!

Big Brother: Until then, there is to be NO discussing who the mole is with any housemate, or attempting to influence another housemate's decision. However, publicly accusing some cat of being the mole is fine.

Rosepetal: What happens if we discuss who the mole is.

Big Brother: Well, Kristen Stewart, I'm glad you asked.

Rosepetal: Stop calling me that. 

Big Brother: If any of you are caught discussing who the mole is, you will lose all your nomination points for the next week. 

Everyone: (shocked gasp)

Big Brother: And not only that, those nomination points will be added against your tally!

Spottedleaf: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Dustpelt: THE BETRAYAL! D:

Big Brother: Housemates, enjoy your first night in the house. That is all.


WEEK ONE, DAILY SHOW

(in the bedroom)

Spiderleg: Morning, Ivypool!

Ivypool: Morning!

(Runningwind jumps on to Ivypool's bed without her noticing)

Daisy: (smirks) Should we tell-

Mousefur: No.

Ivypool: Tell me what? Is there something behind me?

Rosepetal: No. There's nothing. Don't worry about it.

(Yellowfang walks in)

Yellowfang: (spots Runningwind) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Redtail: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA SPICY CHICKEN!

Graystripe: CHICKEN! WHERE!?

Spottedleaf: Nowhere!

Dustpelt: What's going on?

Thornclaw: I got lost at "should we tell-"

Ivypool: Okay, seriously, is there something behind me?

Everyone but Runningwind, Ivypool and Leafpool: NO!

Leafpool: You liars, Ru-

Ravenpaw: (knocks Leafpool out) You won't ruin the moment!

Ivypool: What's going on?

Ravenpaw: Nothing! (whistles innocently)

Runningwind: (starts licking Ivypool's back)

Ivypool: Oooh! Oh, wow, that feels nice! Oh, keep going!

Runningwind: (continues licking)

Ivypool: Wow. YES! That's the spot! Mmmmmmm!

Daisy: (bursts out laughing) 

Thornclaw: Daisy! Stop it! D:

Daisy: I'm sorry! This is too funny! Oh, may I tell her? Please?

Spiderleg: Yes! I wanna see her reaction!

Mousefur: This is gonna be good!

Ivypool: Some cat tell me right now what the (bleep) is going on.

Daisy: (starts laughign again) Look behind you!

Ivypool: (looks behind her)

Runningwind: Hi! (waves)

Ivypool: So... It was... Who was...

Graystripe: Yes! And the best part was, you loved it!

Ivypool: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (sprints out of the bedroom and jumps in pool)

Runningwind: Wait! Come back, my love! (runs after her)

Dustpelt: Hey! I need that pool for hiding from weirdos! D:


(outside)

Leafpool: Ha! That was funny! I thought it was funny! Did you think it was funny?

Yellowfang: I thought it was funny!

Redtail: REDTAIL!

Thornclaw: Hm... I sure hope Ivypool doesn't go insane!


(2 hours later)

Ivypool: I need to talk to someone!

Rosepetal: Talk to me.

Ivypool: Okay!

Daisy: Oh dear...

Graystripe: This will not end well.

Spottedleaf: Poor Ivypool.

Rosepetal: So, what do you want to talk about.

Ivypool: Runningwind! He's creeping me out!

Rosepetal: Then why don't you ignore him.

Ivypool: I am! But he just won't isten!

Rosepetal: Then just tell him to go away.

Ivypool: I don't mean to be rude, but can you at least show the slightest bit of interest in what I'm saying?

Rosepetal: I'm interested. This is my interested face.,

Spiderleg: (to Daisy) this is her interested face?

Daisy: She only has one face..

Ivypool: OMSC, why must you be so boring?

Rosepetal: I'm not boring. I'm actually interesting.

Mousefur: She's gonna go insane.

Runningwind: (jumps on Ivypool) MY LOVE!

Mousefur: She's about to go insane.

Ivypool: NUUUUUUUUUU! BAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! BAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!

Mousefur: She's gone insane.

Spottedleaf: NUUUUUUUU! IVYPOOL! D:

Rosepetal: Oh no. What's going on. Some cat help.

Spiderleg: Wow, she really does have no emotion.

Ivypool: (runs around in circles) BAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Redtail: (joins her) BAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA- why am I doing that?

Ravenpaw: Should we get him tested too?

Daisy: No.

Thornclaw: Great, now we have to make her un-insane!

Dustpelt: I will not be a part of this! (jumps in pool)


(30 minutes later)

Thornclaw: What can we do? What can we do?

Spottedleaf: Let's hit her over the head with a fridge!

Ivypool: SHINY POODLE CHICKEN PUFF! GO EAT A STRAWBERRY! 

Mousefur: That's a good idea.

Ravenpaw: (grabs fridge)

Leafpool: You really shouldn't hit her. She might get brain damage and then we'd be sued! I hate being sued, I always lose. 

Ravenpaw: (hits Ivypool over the head with a fridge)

Ivypool: (is knocked out)

Yellowfang: Please tell me that worked!

(Ivypool wakes up)

Ivypool: SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALI-TRIANGLE!

Thornclaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Graystripe: IT DIDN'T WORK! D:

Mousefutr: WHYYYYYYYYYYYY!?

Graystripe: BECAUSE TUNA, MANGO, HOT SAUCE AND CREAM PUFFS DON'T GO TOGETHER! ESPECIALLY NOT IN A SANDWICH! D:

Mousefur: What? 

Graystripe: That's why my sandwich didn't taste good!

Mousefur: I wasn't talking about that. 

Spiderleg: I didn't even know you made a sandwich.

Graystripe: Well it did! And it didn't taste nice! And I'm cranky! D:

Spottedleaf: Graystripe. we have bigger problems.

Graystripe: And what could possibly be more important than a disgusting sandwich?

Redtail: Ivypool's gone insane!

Graystripe: So?

Daisy: What do you mean 'so'? This is serious!

Runningwind: SAVE MY LOVE! SAVE HER!

Thornclaw: Wait! I have an idea!

Runningwind: (tackles Thornclaw) WHAT IS IT!?

Thornclaw: Let's pour heaps of hot sauce down her throat! Graystripe, get the hot sauce!

Graystripe: Sorry. all gone.

Rosepetal: Nuuuuuuu.

Graystripe: What are you 'nuuuuu'ing for? I can order more on foodlovers.com!

Runningwing: DO IT!

Ivypool: OUR CAT IS A DOG! I AM THE SHARPEST POTATO IN THE BANANA!

Redtail: Quick! Log on! QUICK!

(Graystripe runs to the computer and logs on to foodlovers.com)

Graystripe: How much hot sauce?

Spiderleg: Biggest one!

(Graystripe searches hot sauce

Graystripe: The biggest one is 20L

Thornclaw: ORDER IT!

(Graystripe places the order)

(doorbell rings)

Graystripe: YAY!


(authors note: It's hard to fit every cat in equally, could you please tell me who has had less lines? Thanks!)


(15 minutes later)

Ravenpaw: Okay, Graystripe, unscrew the lid.

Graystripe: But...But shouldn't we pour it in to a cup first?

Daisy: No, no, no, dear. We need to use it all.

Graystripe: But I need it for possibly disgusting samndwiches! D:

Ravenpaw: And we need it to make Ivypool uninsane!

Ivypool: (licks sledgehammer) I AM LADY GAGA! 

Graystripe: NO! I forbid you to touch it!

Spiderleg: But we need it! D:

Graystripe: I SAID NO!

Ravenpaw: (locks Graystripe in a cage)

Graystripe: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I HATE BEING A KITTYPET!

Leafpool: GRAB THE BOTTLE!

Runningwind: (grabs the bottle and runs outside) Hold her mouth open!

Dustpelt: (pops head up, gasping for air) Can't... breathe!

Thornclaw: Oh, Dustpelt! Just in time!

Dustpelt: For what?

Rosepetal: Pouring sauce down Ivypool's throat/

Spottedleaf: Come and watch!

Redtail: This will be fun!

Dustpelt: O...kay. (jumps out of pool)

Big Brother: Cover the pool.

Dustpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Yellowfang: (covers the pool) Sorry, this is an intervention!

Runningwind: Um... THE SAUCE!?

Ravenpaw: Shut up, stalker.

Redtail: Who's holding her mouth open?

Leafpool: Me! I'm a Medicine Cat! Let me do it! Leafpool!

Redtail: Right. 

Leafpool: (holds Ivypool's mouth open) Pour!

(Runningwind pours the entire bottle in to Ivypool's mouth)

Ivypool: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! 

Spottedleaf: Get her milk, before she burns!

Spiderleg: I'm on it! (runs to grab milk)

Ivypool: GIVE ME THAT! (grabs milk and sculls it)

Mousefur: Better, Ivypool?

Ivypool: SUSHI POTATO POLE! 

Mousefur: It didn't work! D:

Spiderleg: I  have an idea! Come inside!


(the group is inside)

Daisy:Well, Spiderleg? What's your idea?

Rosepetal: Yeah. Tell us the idea.

Ivypool: SAMURAI SWORD OF CHICKEN FACES!

Spiderleg: Okay, well, I was thinking we get her to watch the One Direction movie! 

Redtail: But that sends everyone insane! 

Yellowfang: Yeah, bad idea! 

Spiderleg: Yes, but maybe it will shock her so much that she becomes sane again!

Dustpelt: I don't get it.

Thornclaw: Me neither.

Runningwind: Do it. I'd do anything for Ivypool.

Spiderleg: Goodie! Tie her to a chair, and I'll get the DVD! 

Graystripe: LET ME OUT!

Ravenpaw: Whoops. 

(Ravenpaw lets Graystripe out)

Graystripe: I hate you.

Spiderleg: I've got the DVD! 

Redtail: (ties Ivypool to a chair) Put it on!

(Spiderleg puts the DVD in the DVD Player)

Rosepetal: Quick. Get out before it starts.

(everyone runs out of the room)

Ivypool: COME BACK, YOU LLAMA PIG CARROTS! BAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(the DVD starts)

Ivypool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! THIS IS HORRIBLE! D:

Redtail: It might be!

Ivypool: LET ME OUT! HURRY! D:

Yellowfang: Are you sane?

Ivypool: YES! I'M SANE! I'M NOT INSANE ANYMORE, I PROMISE!

Spiderleg: I think it worked.

Spottedleaf: WAIT! Only the insane deny they're insane!

Dustpelt: She has a point.

Ivypool: I'm not (bleep)ing insane! Just (bleep)ing get me the (bleep) out of here! 

Mousefur: LANGUAGE!

Ivypool: ENGLISH!

Ravenpaw: She's sane! YAY! 

Daisy: How does that prove she's sane?

Ravenpaw: She hasn't said something stupid like "BAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'M A SWEATER" for 3 lines! 

Dustpelt: He's got a point.

Yellowfang: Let's untie her!

(the housemates untie Ivypool)

Ivypool: Yay! I'm sane again! 

Runningwind: MY LOVE! YOU ARE NORMAL! (tacklehugs)

Leafpool: (throws Runningwind in to the wall) We don't want her to be insane again!

Spiderleg: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! THE DVD'S STILL ON'!

Daisy: WE'RE ALL GONNA GO INSANE!

Mousefur: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Everyone: (runs around in circles) BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

WEEK ONE, CHALLENGE (Ft. Hawkmask, Cleverpelt and Ivyviolet)

(in the lounge room)

Spiderleg: Phew! We aren't insane anymore! 

Mousefur: Thank StarClan Big Brother destroyed that horrid DVD!

Redtail: I AM A MUTANT FLYING CHICKEN! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Daisy: YOU'RE A CAT!

Rosepetal: Stop shouting. I'm tired.

Redtail: Sorry, everyone! I don't know why I do that! 

Ravenpaw: I wonder what the challenge will be?

Thornclaw: Something cat related?

Dustpelt: I don't want to guess...

Graystripe: (comes running in) FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! WHERE'S THE FOOD!?

Spottedleaf: In the kitchen where it always is.

Graystripe: FOOOOOOOOOOOD! (runs in to kitchen)

Ivypool: I wish the challenge would hurry up and start!

Leafpool: Me too! Challenges are fun! Aren't they fun? I think they're fun!

Runningwind: BIG BROTHER!

Big Brother: WHAT!?

Runningwind: MAKE THE CHALLENGE START!

Big Brother: Why?

Runningwind: Because my love has requested it!

Ivypool: D::::::::

Yellowfang: Don't start that again!

Big Brother: No, it can wait.

Runningwind: DO IT NOW!

Big Brother: Fine, sheesh. Everyone go outside.


(outside)

Big Brother: Okay, it's time for the first challenge of the Season! Who's excited?

Graystripe: Does it have anything to do with food?

Big Brother: Actually, it does.

Graystripe: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Spiderleg: But... that isn't fair! He'll win the challenge for sure!

Big Brother: Too bad. Anyway, this is how the challenge works.

This is a maze challenge. One at a time, you will enter the maze to look for a cheeseburgers. When you find the cheeseburger, make your way out from the maze. The seven fastest cats will be safe from nominations. 

Everyone: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Big Brother: Any questions?

Leafpool: No! No questions!  There aren't any-

Ravenpaw: Shut up.

Big Brother: Good! Who wants to go first?

Graystripe: MEEEEEEEEEEE!

Big Brother: Ok! (clicks stopwatch) Go!

Graystripe: (runs in to maze) FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- (runs out of maze with cheeseburger) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Big Brother: (stops stopwatch) That was quick. 3.9 seconds to be precise!

Graystripe: YAY!


(nominated cats in capitals)

Graystripe: 3.9 seconds


Big Brother: Ravenpaw! 

(Ravenpaw enters the maze)


(in the maze)

Ravenpaw: Now, where's my cheeseburger? (sniffs around) WHY ARE CHEESEBURGERS SO HARD TO FIND!? D:

(a random sheep lands in front of Ravenpaw)

Sheep: Baaaaaaa! 

Ravenpaw: LOL, random sheep. Move along.

Sheep: Baaaaaaaaaa! (heabuts Ravenpaw)

Ravenpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUU! STOP DISTRACTING ME, SHEEP!

Sheep: Baaaaaaaaa! (picks up Ravenpaw's cheeseburger)

Ravenpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! DON'T TOUCH MY CHEESEBURGER! D:

Sheep: Baaaaaaaa! (runs away with it)

Ravenpaw: (picks up chainsaw) GIVE ME BACK MY CHEESEBURGER!!!!!

Sheep: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! D: (runs even faster)

Ravenpaw: COME BACK!!!!!!!! (runs after the sheep)

Big Brother: Ravenpaw! Don't kill the sheep!

Ravenpaw: MWAHAHAHAHA! You thought you could stop me, sheep? Well, nothing stops Ravenpaw! Not even a sheep! (continues chasing the sheep until it's backed in to a corner)

Sheep: BAAAAAAAAAAAA! I LOVE YOU, STELLA! (closes eyes in fear)

Ravenpaw: (raises chainsaw) YOU THINK YOU COULD STOP ME!?

Sheep: Don't kill me! I'm just a sheep! D:

Ravenpaw: (starts chainsaw) 

Sheep: NUUUUUUUUUU!

Ravenpaw: (reaches in to sheep's mouth and grabs cheeseburger) There we go! Lol, you all,thought I was gonna kill the sheep! Idiots! Now, to get out of here...


(5 minutes later)

Ravenpaw: I'M LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST! D: (sits down and wails)

Producer: Stop being a kit! We still have 12 more competitiors to film!

Ravenpaw: Right. How do I get out of here?

Producer: Not telling.

Ravenpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Hey, maybe I can climb up the wall! (starts climbing)

(gets zapped)

Ravenpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: The wall is protected so cheaters like you can't cheat!

Ravenpaw: (walks around) I can't find it!

(A big sign appears with flasing lights, an arrow pointing to the exit and saying "HERE IS THE EXIT!"

Ravenpaw: I can't find it! D: (sees sign) Oh, there it is. (walks out of maze)

Big Brother: (stops stopwatch) 33 minutes and 16 seconds!


Graystripe: 3.9 seconds

Ravenpaw: 33.minutes, 16 seconds


Big Brother: Daisy! You're up!

(Daisy enters the maze)


(in the maze)

Daisy: My first challenge! Hopefully I do...

(Daisy falls down a rabbit hole)

Daisy: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!


(in the rabbit hole)

Daisy: This really isn't good for my chances of winning, you know?

Cleverpelt: You! What are you doing here?

Daisy: I fell down here...

Cleverpelt: Well, that's great! I'm Cleverpelt! (throws tomato at Daisy)

Daisy: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I HATE TOMATOES! D: (hides behind bush)

Hawkmask: Hiding behind a bush? How original!

Cleverpelt: Sorry, that's how we greet each other down here.

Hawkmask: He's serious! It's really stupid!

Cleverpelt: Don't say that! She'll hear you!

Hawkmask: I SAID NOTHING! (self-destructs)

Daisy: o.O

Cleverpelt: COME BACK!

Hawkmask: (un-self-destructs) Okay...

Ivyviolet: I AM COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cleverpelt: SHE'S COMING! D:

Hawkmask: HIIIIIIIIIIIIDE! D: (hides behind bush)

Daisy: What's going on?

(Ivyviolet appears)

Ivyviolet: (sees Daisy) HALT! I AM IVYVIOLET, LEADER OF THIS HERE RABBIT HOLE! Who are you?

Daisy: Daisy.

Ivyviolet: Daisy who?

Daisy: Former host and now competitior on BBTC.

Ivyviolet: EEEEEEEE! BBTC! (hugs Daisy)

Daisy: Help...!

Hawkmask: What?

Ivyviolet: You shall be my second in-

Daisy: (hits Ivyviolet over the had with a broomstick)

Ivyviolet: (is knocked out)

Daisy: EVERYONE! RUN!

(everyone runs for the rabbit hole exit)

(Ivyviolet wakes up)

Ivyviolet: COME BACK!

Cleverpelt: NO!

Ivyviolet: WHY!?

Cleverpelt: 'CAUSE YOU SUCK!

Ivyviolet: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (cries)

Daisy: Let's get out of here!

Hawkmask: I HAVE A- (goes to grab out rope) Wait, no I don't.

Daisy: Really? 

Hawkmask: I'm sorry, okay!? (bursts in to tears)

Daisy: WHY IS EVERYONE CRYING!? 

Hawkmask: Shut up! Stop making me feel bad!

Daisy: How can we get out!?

Cleverpelt: (points to button) Press this.

(Daisy presses the button. A door opens.)

Daisy: I suck at this show... (walks out of the door)


(back in the maze)

Daisy: Where's my cheeseburger? I need to find it, or I'll be up for nomination!

(Ivyviolet pops up from the rabbit hole)

Ivyviolet: This will teach you to knock me out! (throws bottle at Daisy's head)

Daisy: (is knocked out)


(6 hours later)

Daisy: Ugh... My head! How long have I been here? I can't be bothered looking for my cheeseburger! (heads towards maze exit)

(trips over cheeseburger)

Daisy: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Oh, there it is. (grabs cheeseburger and exits)

Big Brother: (wakes up suddenly) Is she out?

Thornclaw: FINALLY!

Big Brother: Daisy, you took 7 hours and 12 minutes. How is that possible?

Daisy: Don't ask.

Big Brother: That puts you in last place!


Graystripe: 3,9 seconds

Ravenpaw: 33 minutes, 16 seconds

Daisy: 7 hours, 12 minutes


Big Brother: Thornclaw! Your turn!

(Thornclaw enters the maze


(in the maze)

Thornclaw: Where's my cheeseburger? Where is it? (walkks around in circles) NUUUUUUUU! I can't find it! Oh, I'll be up for nomination for sure!

(Thornclaw continues walking around)

Thornclaw: Oh, I found it! (grabs cheeseburger)

(drops the cheeseburger)

Thornclaw: Oh, no! I dropped it! D:

(goes to pick it up and drops it again)

Thornclaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Since when were cheeseburgers so slippery?

(tries to pick it up, but drops it again)

Thornclaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

(Thornclaw manages to pick it up)

Thornclaw: A-ha! I have it!

(Thornclaw trips over and the cheeseburger falls down the rabbit hole)

Thornclaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (pops head down rabbit hole) Can someone give that back?

Cleverpelt: HEY! Where did this cheeseburger come from?

Thornclaw: It's mine! Give it back!

Cleverpelt: Okay! (tosses cheeseburger)

Thornclaw: Thank you! (reaches to grab it)

(Thornclaw grabs the cheeseburger, but he loses his balance and falls down the hole. He manages to hold on to the entrance with one paw) 

Thornclaw: HELP!

Hawkmask: I'M COMING! I'M COMING! (runs to help Thornclaw)

Ivyviolet: HAWKMASK! COME BACK HERE! I need you to build me a gold statue!

Hawkmask: Okay... (goes back to Ivyviolet)

Thornclaw: HELP!

Cleverpelt: (jumps up to Thornclaw) I'm going to push your legs, okay?

Thornclaw: Okay!

(Cleverpelt pushes Thornclaw's legs uo)

(Thornclaw is pushed out of the hole) 

Thornclaw: Thanks! (grabs cheeseburger) Now to get out of here. 

(Thornclaw finds the exit)

Thornclaw: Ah, here it is! (walks slowly to the exit)

Big Brother: Thornclaw! Your time is: 1 hour, 6 minutes and 53 seconds!

Thornclaw: Is that bad?

Big Brother: At the moment, yes.

Thornclaw: NUUUUUUUUUU!


Graystripe 3.9 seconds

Ravenpaw 33 minutes, 16 seconds

Thornclaw: 1 hour, 6 minutes, 53 seconds.

Daisy: 7 hours, 12 minutes


Big Brother: Your turn, Yellowfang!

(Yellowfang enters the maze)


(in the maze)

Yellowfang: (places crystal ball on the ground) Mighty crystal ball! Show me where my cheeseburger is! (waves paw over crystal ball) Ommmmmmmmm! Ommmmmmmmm! Ommmmm!

(the crystal ball shows her where the cheeseburger is) 

Yellowfang: Yay! (runs and grabs cheeseburger) Oh, no! I can't carry the crystal ball and the cheeseburger! Crystal ball! Hold the cheeseburger!

(nothing happens)

Yellowfang: Why can't you talk?

Crystal Ball: I can talk, I'm just not holding the cheeseburger.

Yellowfang: Oh, (bleep) you!

Crystal Ball: Love you, too.

Yellowfang: I'll just have to- (holds cheeseburger in mouth) Okay, your turn crystal ball! (grabs crystal ball) 

(Yellowfang wanders out of the maze. She drops the cheeseburger and the crystal ball)

Crystal Ball: Hey, that hurt!

Yellowfang: Shut up! You aren't meant to talk!

Crystal Ball: Sorry.

Big Brother: Congratulations, Yellowfang! You made it out in 3 minutes and 51 seconds!

Yellowfang: YAY!


Graystripe: 3.9 seconds

Yellowfang: 3 minutes, 51 seconds

Ravenpaw: 33 minutes, 16 seconds

Thornclaw: 1 hour, 6 minutes, 53 seconds

Daisy: 7 hours, 12 minutes


Big Brother: Your turn, Runningwind! 

Runningwind: I DEDICATE THIS TO MY LOVE! (runs in to the maze really fast)

(Runningwind sprints back out with the cheeseburger)

Runningwind: (lays it at Ivypool's paws) For you, my love!

Ivypool: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Big Brother: I... I don't believe this! You got 3.85 seconds! That's faster than Graystripe!

Graystripe: How could you find your cheeseburger faster than me!? It's not possible!

Runningwind: I just ran really fast!

Graystripe: You... You knew where all the cheeseburgers were! (points at Runningwind) YOU'RE THE MOLE!

Everyone but Runningwind and Graystripe: (shocked gasp)

Runningwind: I'm not the Mole!

Everyone but Runningwind and Graystripe: (sigh of relief) 

Graystripe: You believe him!?

Everyone but Runningwind and Graystripe: Yep!

Graystripe: Oh. COME ON!


Runningwind: 3.85 seconds

Graystripe: 3.9 seconds

Yellowfang: 3 minutes, 51 seconds.

Ravenpaw: 33 minutes, 16 seconds

Thornclaw: 1 hour, 6 minutes, 53 seconds

Daisy: 7 hours, 12 minutes


Big Brother: It's Dustpelt's turn!

(Dustpelt enters the maze)


(in the maze)

Dustpelt: I don't wanna be in this house full of weirdos! Hey, I'll flunk the challenge and put myself up for nomination! BIG BROTHER!

Big Brother: What?

Dustpelt: Is there any way I can be disqualified?

Big Brother: Come out without the cheeseburger.

Dustpelt: In that case... (exits maze without cheeseburger) Disqualify me.

Big Brother: YOU ARE DISQUALIFIED! 

Ivypool: Why would you do that?

Dustpelt: THIS HOUSE IS WEIRD! D:


Runningwind: 3.85 seconds

Graystripe: 3.9 seconds

Yellowfang: 3 minutes, 51 seconds

Ravenpaw: 33 minutes, 16 seconds

Thornclaw: 1 hour, 6 minutes, 53 seconds

Daisy: 7 hours, 12 minutes

DUSTPELT: Disqualified


Big Brother: Spottedleaf!

Spottedleaf: Yay!

Thornclaw: Hey, Spottedleaf! I know where your cheeseburger is?

Spottedleaf: Thornclaw, honey, don't lie. 

(Spottedleaf enters the maze)

Mousefur: Thornclaw, do you really know where the cheeseburger is?

Thornclaw: No, I was just trying to trick her! It would've been so funny if she'd believed it, right? 

Ivypool: Oh, wow, I can just imagine her face! xDDDDDD

Thornclaw: Why didn't she believe me? D:


(in the maze)

Spottedleaf: Where's my burger!? D: Burgerrrrrrr! Burgerrr!

Hawkmask: BURGERS CAN'T TALK, IDIOT!

Spottedleaf: Who said that!? D:

Hawkmask: Me! 

Spottedleaf: Who's me? 

Hawkmask: Down in the rabbit hole!

Spottedleaf: (pokes head down rabbit hole) Who said that?

Hawkmask: Me!

Spottedleaf: Hi! (waves)

Hawkmask: You're doing the cheeseburger challenge, yes?

Spottedleaf: Yes!

Hawkmask: Yay! A new friend! I been waiting for a new friend ever since Daisy left!

Spottedleaf: How lovely! Although, and I don't mean to be rude, you should have said I've been, not I been/

Hawkmask: (snarls) HOW DARE YOU CORRECT MY GRAMMAR!? (jumps out of the rabbit hole and tackles Spottedleaf)

Spottedleaf: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (struggles madly)

Hawkmask: (claws at Spottedleaf's head) Take it back! 

Spottedleaf: NO

Hawkmask: (bites Spottedleaf's leg) And fight me back, for the love of StarClan!

Spottedleaf: I can't fight! I'm a Medicine Cat! 

Hawkmask: Really? I done my Warrior training ages ago.

Spottedleaf: Did. You did your Warrior training ages ago.

Hawkmask: (picks Spottedleaf up by the tail and walks over to a table)

Spottedleaf: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! 

Hawkmask: (slams) STOP (slams) CORRECTING (slams) MY (slams) GRAMMAR! (slams)

Spottedleaf: OWWWWWWWWWW! D:

Cleverpelt: (from the rabbit hole) Hawkmask! Ivyviolet wants you to clean her den!

Hawkmask: (shudders) I have to go now, Grammar Police, but I'll be back. (jumps down rabbit hole)

Spottedleaf: Phew! I'm glad that's over! Now, where's my (trips over cheeseburger and falls head-first in to the table) Ow! Oh, there it is! 

(Spottedleaf heads towards the exit)

Spottedleaf: This is taking too long! D: I wonder if I can... (climbs up the maze)

(Spottedleaf gets zapped)

Spottedleaf: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (falls back down in to the table) WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!?

(Spottedleaf makes her way to the exit)

(Spottedleaf exits the maze with the cheeseburger)

Big Brother: Spottedleaf! You made it out in 25 minutes and 2 seconds!

Spottedleaf: Is that good?

Big Brother: That puts you above four cats!

Spottedleaf: YAY!


Runningwind: 3.85 seconds

Graystripe: 3.9 seconds

Yellowfang: 3 minutes, 51 seconds

Spottedleaf: 25 minutes, 2 seconds

Ravenpaw: 33 minutes, 16 seconds

Thornclaw: 1 hour. 6 minutes, 53 seconds

Daisy: 7 hours, 12 minutes

DUSTPELT: Disqualified


Big Brother: Mousefur! Your turn!

(Mousefur enters the maze)


(in the maze) 

Mousefur: I'll never be able to see without my glasses! (puts on glasses) That's better!

(Mousefur walks around the maze at Elder pace)

Mousefur: Oh, that's way too far for me to walk! I am an Elder! 

Big Brother: Suck it up.

Mousefur: DON'T SPEAK TO YOUR ELDERS LIKE THAT!!!!! 

Big Brother: Sorry.

Mousefur: (walks around) Cheeseburgers are so hard to find! I can't see it, even with my glasses on! D: I'm going to lose! D: OMSC.... PATCH OF SUN!!!!!!!!! (runs over to the patch of sun and starts sunning herself) YAY! SUN! YAAAAAAAY! 

Big Brother: (sigh) Really?

Mousefur: SUN!


(30 minutes later)

Mousefur: SUN! SUN! I LOVE SUN! SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! 

Big Brother: MOUSEFUR!

Mouseufr:What?

Big Brother: CHEESEBURGER!?

Mousefur: Oh. Right.

(Mousefur finds the cheeseburger and exits the maze)

Mousefur: Did I do well? What'd I get?

Big Brother: 41 ,minutes and 30 seconds. In other words, no. 

Mousefur: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!


Runningwind: 3.85 seconds

Graystripe: 3.9 seconds

Yellowfang: 3 minutes, 51 seconds.

Spottedleaf: 25 minutes, 2 seconds

Ravenpaw: 33 minutes, 16 seconds

Mousefur:  41 minutes, 30 seconds

Thornclaw: 1 hour, 6 minutes, 53 seconds

DAISY: 7 hours, 12 minutes

DUSTPELT: Disqualified


Big Brother: Rosepetal!

Rosepetal: Yay. My turn.

(Rosepetal enters the maze)


(in the maze)

Rosepetal: Where's my cheeseburger. I hope I find it quickly or I'll be up for nomination.

(Rosepetal walks around) 

Rosepetal: Where is it. Oh no.

(Rosepetal hits a dead end)

Rosepetal: Oh no. A dead end. What will I do now. I don't want to be up for nomination.

Big Brother: ENOUGH!

Rosepetal: Big Brother, what are you doing.

Big Brother: YOU'RE BORING THE CRAP OUT OF ME!!!!!!

Rosepetal: I'm not boring.

Big Brother: YES YOU ARE!!!!!!!! Find your cheeseburger and leave!

Rosepetal: Where is it.

Big Brother: Ten steps to your right! Go! 

(Rosepetal grabs the cheeseburger and exits the maze)

Big Brother: Your time is 8 minutes and 8 seconds!

Rosepetal: All eights. How weird.


Runningwind: 3.85 seconds

Graystripe: 3.9 seconds

Yellowfang: 3 minutes, 51 seconds

Rosepetal: 8 minutes, 8 seconds

Spottedleaf: 25 minutes, 2 seconds

Ravenpaw: 33 minutes, 16 seconds

Mousefur: 41 minutes, 30 seconds

THORNCLAW: 1 hour, 6 minutes, 53 seconds

DAISY: 7 hours, 12 minutes

DUSTPELT: Disqualified


Big Brother: Up next is Ivypool!

Runningwind: Good luck, my love!

Ivypool: (shudders) 

(Ivypool enters the maze)


(in the maze)

Ivypool: Where's my cheeseburger? Where?  (walks over to the right) Not here. (walks over to the left) Not here either. WAIT!

Big Brother: Huh?

Ivypool: I JUST HAD THE BEST IDEA!

Big Brother: What?

Ivypool: If I waste enough time, I'll be nominated! YAY!

Big Brother: Your game to lose...

Ivypool: I DON'T CARE! I want to get away from Runningwind!

Big Brother: Well, go on, then!

Ivypool: (claps excitedly) Yay! You little genius, Ivupool!

(Ivypool falls asleep)


(11 hours later)

(Ivypool wakes up)

Ivypool: (ywans) That was a good sleep! Now, to find my cheeseburger!

Big Brother: (points) It's over there.

Ivypool: Why did you tell me? I wanted to find it!

Big Brother: You wasted heaps of time. Grab it and go.

(Ivypool grabs the cheeseburger and leaves the maze)

Big Brother: Your time is 11 hours, 5 minutes. You are up for nomination.

Runningwind: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Nobody nominate my love! (snarls)

Ivypool: Please do!

Runningwind: Do not say that, Sweet Little Ivy! If you do, they may nominate you, and you might leave, and then I'll never be able to hug you again! D:

Ivypool: (barfs)


Runningwind: 3.85 seconds

Graystripe: 3.9 seconds

Yellowfang: 3 minutes, 51 seconds

Rosepetal: 8 minutes, 8 seconds

Spottedleaf: 25 minutes, 2 seconds

Ravenpaw: 33 minutes, 16 seconds

Mousefur: 41 minutes, 30 seconds

THORNCLAW: 1 hour, 6 minutes, 53 seconds

DAISY: 7 hours, 12 minutes

IVYPOOL: 11 hours, 5 minutes

DUSTPELT: Disqualified


Big Brother: Leafpool's turn! 

Leafpool: YAY!

(Leafpool enters the maze)


(in the maze)

Leafpool: Where's my cheeseburger? I wonder where it is? Wow, it's hidden well! (turns to camera) By the way, if you're wondering why I'm talking to myself, I'm not insane, I just need to keep talking. You see, I'm afraid of silence!

(Leafpool keeps walking around)

Leafpool: Where is it? Hang on, I'll use Medicine Cat Powers! StarClan, where is my-

Thunder: No.

Leafpool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! WHY!?

Thunder: Because you didn't invite me to your book club, Karma's a (bleep).

Leafpool: Fine! I'll use my other powers! (takes long sniff) I smell forest and... CHEESEBURGER! (runs towards the scent) I HAVE A SCENT! I HAVE A SCENT! I HAVE A-

(Leafpool crashes face first in to a wall)

Leafpool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! WHY DOES THE WALL SMELL LIKE CHEESEBURGER!?

Big Brother: Idiot.

Leafpool: Hey! Mayve it's over the wall! 

Big Brother: Wow, Genius!

Leafpool: (climbs over wall and sees cheeseburger) Hey! I was right! 

Big Brother: Now you have to get back over the wall.

Leafpool: (tries to climb over the wall) I CAN'T!

Big Brother: Sucked in!

Leafpool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Now I'll be up for nomination, and probably nominated because everyone hates me talking!

Big Brother: I repeat: Sucked in.

Leafpool: Wait! Idea! Just give me 5 minutes.

Big Brother: Okay...


(5 minutes later)

Big Brother: (calls out) It's been 5 minutes!

Leafpool: I'm coming!

(Leafpool is swinging on a wrecking ball, flying towards the wall)

Leafpool: I CAME IN LIKE A WREEEEEEEEEEECKING BAAAAAALL!

(Leafpool's wrecking ball destroys the wall)

Leafpool: (grabs cheeseburger) I'M COMING OUT!

Big Brother: But cats can't be- Ooooooooooh! You mean coming out of the maze!

Leafpool: Of course I did. What did you think I meant?

Big Brother: Never mind.

Leafpool: (exits maze)

Big Brother: You scored 20 minutes,  37 seconds!

Leafpool: YAY!


Runningwind: 3.85 seconds

Graystripe: 3.9 seconds

Yellowfang: 3 minutes, 51 seconds'

Rosepetal: 8 minutes, 8 seconds

Leafpool: 20 minutes, 37 seconds

Spottedleaf: 25 miunutes, 2 seconds

Ravenpaw: 33 minutes, 16 seconds

MOUSEFUR: 41 minutes, 30 seconds

THORNCLAW: 1 hour, 6 minutes, 53 seconds

DAISY: 7 hours, 12 minutes

IVYPOOL: 11 hours. 5 minutes

DUSTPELT: Disqualified


Big Brother: Spiderleg! Your turn!

(Spiderleg enters the maze)


(in the maze)

Spiderleg: I'm bored. I quit.

(Spiderleg walks out of the maze)

Big Brother: DISQUALIFIED!


Runningwind: 3.85 seconds

Graystripe: 3.9 seconds

Yellowfang: 3 minutes, 51 seconds

Rosepetal: 8 minutes, 8 seconds

Leafpool: 20 minutes, 37 seconds

Spottedleaf: 25 miunutes, 2 seconds

Ravenpaw: 33 minutes, 16 seconds

MOUSEFUR: 41 minutes, 30 seconds

THORNCLAW: 1 hour, 6 minutes, 53 seconds

DAISY: 7 hours, 12 minutes

IVYPOOL: 11 hours. 5 minutes

DUSTPELT: Disqualified

SPIDERLEG: Disqualified


Big Brother: And lastly, Redtail! Redtail, to stay safe from elimination, you need to beat Ravenpaw's time of 33 minutes, 16 seconds.

Ravenpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! DON'T BEAT MY TIME! D:

Redtail: Sorry! D;

(Redtail enters the maze)


(in the maze)

Redtail: Cheeseburger? Cheeseburger? WHERE THE (bleep) ARE YOU, CHEESEBURGER!

Big Brother: Chill out!

Redtail: But... I need to find the cheeseburger! D: 

(Redtail wanders around the maze) 

Redtail: Where is iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!? D:

Cleverpelt: (bounces up from the rabbit hole) I know where it is! (claps excitedly)

Redtail; Then show me- NOODLE POODLE CHICKEN! 

Cleverpelt: Psycho. (jumps back down the rabbit hole)

Redtail: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Come back!

Cleverpelt: No! I don't talk to a psycho!

Redtail: D:


(10 minutes later)

Redtail: (is still wandering) Where is it!? D:

(Redtail finds the cheeseburger)

Redtail: Oh! There it is! Now to get out of here!

(Redtail walks in to a dead end)

Redtail: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! DEAD END! WHAT DO I DO NOW!? D:

Big Brother: Um... Go out and find a different way? Duh!

Redtail: Oh, okay... Maybe I'll just- BAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (shreds maze and runs around) I AM THE OPTIMUS CAKE! EAT MY CAKE! IT'S DELICIOUS! 

(runs to the other contestants)

Ravenpaw: Hey! That's cheating! 

Big Brother: No it's not. He came out of the maze with the cheeseburger. Redtail, your time is 12 minutes and 19 seconds, which beats Ravenpaw and keeps you safe!

Redtail: YAY!

Ravenpaw: CHEATER!


Final scores:

Runningwind: 3.85 seconds

Graystripe: 3.9 seconds

Yellowfang: 3 minutes, 51 seconds

Rosepetal: 8 minutes, 8 seconds

Redtail: 12 minutes, 19 seconds

Leafpool: 20 minutes, 37 seconds

Spottedleaf: 25 miunutes, 2 seconds

RAVENPAW: 33 minutes, 16 seconds

MOUSEFUR: 41 minutes, 30 seconds

THORNCLAW: 1 hour, 6 minutes, 53 seconds

DAISY: 7 hours, 12 minutes

IVYPOOL: 11 hours. 5 minutes

DUSTPELT: Disqualified

SPIDERLEG: Disqualified


Big Brother: Ravenpaw, Mousefur, Thornclaw, Daisy, Ivypool, Dustpelt, Spiderleg, you are all up for nomination.

All nominees but Dustpelt and Ivypool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Dustpelt and Ivypool: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!


The first nominations take place. Who will be nominated? Who will go? Will Redtail find out why he's crazy? Will Leafpool shut up? Will Rosepetal possibly be any more boring? Find out all this and MORE in Big Brother: ThunderClan Season Three/Week Two!

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