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WEEK TWELVE, EVICTED CONTESTANTS RESULTS SHOW (Ft. Graystripe)

Voice-over: Hello and welcome to the EVICTED CONTESTANTS RESULTS SHOW! Please welcome your host, Daisy!

(Daisy walks on to stage)

Daisy: (whispering) Hello and welcome to the secret evicted contestants results show! By the end of tonight, we'll know which cat is returning!

Cat in Crowd: (whispering) Why are we whispering?

Daisy: (whispering) Because it's a secret!

Producer: Shut up and stop whispering!

Daisy: Okay... D: Guys, guess what? The housemates have NO CLUE this is happening!

Crowd: (laughs)

Daisy: The producer gathered all the evicted contestants in to a secret room, and we're gonna cross there now.

(Daisy crosses to the secret room. All the cats are in cat carriers.)

Evicted Housemates: LET US OUT! LET US OUT!

Bumblestripe: This is so unfair! I'm not even a kittypet!

(Daisy cuts off the connection)

Daisy: PRODUCER! Let them out!

Producer: (sigh) Fine.

(the producer enters the secret room. Screams, hisses and yowls are heard. 5 minutes later, he comes out.)

Producer: (is bleeding) Thanks a lot, Daisy.

Daisy: No problem! (grins)

Producer: I was being sarcastic!

Daisy: I know! Anyway, let's cross to the secret room!

(Daisy crosses back to the secret room)

Daisy: Hello, evicted housemates!

Bumblestripe: Stop rubbing it in!

Millie: Bumblestripe, shush!

Bumblestripe: That's mean!

Daisy: I suppose you're all wondering why you're here?

Firestar: Yes! As king, I have a right to know!

Willowpelt: TELL US BEFORE YOU EXPLODE!

Daisy: Don't you mean "Before I explode?"

Willowpelt: NO, BECAUSE I'M GOING TO EXPLODE YOU, KITTEN!

Daisy: I'm not a kitten!

Willowpelt: COW THEN!

Daisy: Moooo! Anyway, getting back to business. You are all here because one of you has won the right to return to the house!

(shocked gasp from all the housemates)

Frostfur: I bet I know who it is...

Aquasplash: (punches) NO SPOILERS!

Frostfur: (punches) DON'T PUNCH ME! PUNCHING IS WRONG!

Aquasplash: (punches) NO! PUNCHING IS FUN!

Daisy: LADIES!

(everyone freezes)

Daisy: Now, this is how it's going to work: I'll eliminate each of you one by one untill we get to the winner. I'll announce 2 cats at a time who haven't won and then go to a break. Got that?

Foxleap: Yes, but can we hurry? WWE is on soon!

Purdy: And I need to watch the Home Shopping Channel for dentures!

Frostfur: (rolls eyes)

Daisy: (rubs paws together) Let's get started then! (clears throat) Evicted housemates, after receiving the LEAST amount of votes to return, we say goodbye to... FIRESTAR!

Firestar: (gasp) I've been overthrown again!

Daisy: Firestar, please exit the Secret Room out the back door and return to your life.

Firestar: Huh! I'm too good for a peasant competition anyway! Graystripe, come!

Graystripe: Yes master... (follows Firestar)

(Firestar and Graystripe exit through the back door)

Daisy: How did he get in there?

Evicted Housemates: NEXT CAT! NEXT CAT!

Daisy: Ahem?

Frostfur: Next cat, please, Daisy?

Daisy: Of course! After receiving the next least amount of votes to return, we say goodbye to... MILLIE!

Millie: (shocked gasp)

Bumblestripe: MUM! NUUUUUUUU!

Aquasplash: (snorts) Looks like the viewers don't want kittypets!

Snowfur: (punches) When did you get so rude? Wait, who are you?

Thrushpelt: That's Aquasplash, a cat who won a competition to get here. She came in after you left.

Snowfur: Right.

Daisy: Millie, please exit the secret room through the back door.

Millie: (exits the secret room)

Daisy: See you guys in a bit! (cuts off connection)

Evicted Housemates: NUUUUUUUUUUU!

Daisy: (giggles) I love doing that to them! Well, we now know that Firestar and Millie aren't returning! Come back after the break where we'll get rid of two more cats!


(after the break)

Daisy: We're back! Let's get rid of 2 more cats!

(Daisy crosses to the secret room)

Daisy: Hello again!

Evicted Housemmates: HAAAI!

Shoalfoot: That means "yes" in Japanese!

Daisy: How on earth did you get here?

Shoalfoot: I've been watching the entire time!

Daisy: GET BACK IN THE HOUSE!

Shoalfoot: But...!

Daisy: NOW!

(Shoalfoot goes back in to the house sadly)

Daisy: Now where was I? Oh yes, we're getting rid of two more cats! After receiving the next lowest amount of votes to return, we say goodbye to... FROSTFUR!

Frostfur: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (munches on grapes) NUUUUUUUUUUU! THESE ARE SOUR! (throws grapes at Aquasplash)

Aquasplash: NUUUUUUU! 

Daisy: Frostfur, please exit the secret room through the back door and return to Clan life.

(Frostfur leaves the secret room)

Daisy: And now for another!

(the housemates wait nervously)

Daisy: After receiving the next lowest amountt of votes to return, we say goodbye to... BUMBLESTRIPE!

Bumblestripe: What? You rigged the votes! You cheater!

Daisy: Unlike Cinderpelt, I didn't rig the votes.

Bumblestripe: Shut up! I'm not leaving!

Daisy: Don't make me call the security guard!

Willowpelt: COOKIE BISCUITS!

Bumblestripe: Shut up, Willowpelt!

Willowpelt: NEVER TELL THE POTATO EMPEROR TO SHUT UP! (claws him)

Bumblestripe: (cries) That hurt so much! You monster! They should arrest you! (runs out of the secret room)

Snowfur: Thank StarClan...

Bumblestripe: (from outside secret room) SHUT UP!

Thrushpelt: Don't make me come out there and claw you!

Bumblestripe: NUUUUUUUU! (runs away)

Daisy: And there goes King Whiny! We now know that Frostfur and Bumblestripe won't be returning! We're edging closer to discovering who the returning cat will be. Come back after the break, where two more cats will discover their fate!


(after the break)

Daisy: Welcome back! It's time to get rid of two more cats.

(Daisy crosses to the secret room)

Daisy: Hey guys! It's time to get rid of two more cats!

Snowfur: Just... put us out of our misery.

Daisy: Okay then! After receiving the next lowest amount of votes to return, we say goodbye to... PURDY!

Purdy: Oh, what a disaster! That's even worse than the time I had to dress up as a flamingo!

Daisy: Purdy, we don't have time for your stupid stories. Now, get out of the secret room through the back door.

(Purdy leaves the secret room)

Daisy: Okay, next cat!

Snowfur: I bet it's me.

Daisy: After receiving the next lowest amount of votes to return, we say goodbye to... SNOWFUR!

Snowfur: OMSC, I'M A PSYCHIC!

Willowpelt: AND I'M PSYCHOTIC!

Aquasplash: Tell me something I don't know!

Willowpelt: A RED UNICORN DANCES WITH A BLUE UNICORN, AND IF THEY TAKE A PHOTO, THEY BLEND IN TO ONE PURPLE UNICORN!

Aquasplsh: Mind blown..

Thrushpelt:  NUUUUUUUUU! MAH SNOWEH! DON'T LEAVE MEH!

Daisy: Snowfur, exit the secret room through the back door and return to StarClan.

(Snowfur exits the secret room)

Thrushpelt: NUUUUUUUUU!


Daisy: We're down to the final 4! Who will return to the house? Come back after the break and we'll have our final 2!


(after the ad break)

Daisy: Hello again! We're going to cut our housemates down to the final two!

(Daisy crosses to the secret room)

Daisy: Hi guys! We're gonna reveal the final two!

Evicted Cats: YAY!

Foxleap: Please can we hurry? WWE's on in 15 minutes!

Daisy: (rolls eyes) Fine! After receiving the next lowest amount of votes to return, we say goodbye to... THRUSHPELT!

Thrushpelt: (gasp) MAH SNOWEH! (bolts out of the secret room) SNOWEH, WAAAAAAAAAAAIT!

Daisy: Wow... Um, I guess we can move on to eliminating the next cat then! After receiving the next lowest amount of votes to return, we say goodbye to... AQUASPLASH!

Aquasplash: NUUUUUUUUUUU! (cuddles Taylor Swift toy)

Willowpelt: DIE, TWOLEG TOY!! (rips to shreds)

Aquasplash: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! TAYLOR! MY OWN REASON FOR EXISTANCE! (disappears in a puff of smoke)

(shocked silence)

Foxleap: I'M IN THE FINAL TWO OF RETURNING CATS EVEN THOUGH I WAS FIRST EVICTED! WOOOOOOOO! 

Willowpelt: DUCK SAUCE!

Foxleap: BARBARA STRIESAND!

Daisy: SHUT UP!

(silence)

Daisy: We'll return after the break!

Foxleap: NUUUUUUUUUU! I'LL MISS WWE! D:


(after the break)

Daisy: OMSC GUYS IT'S TIME!

(Daisy crosses to the secret room)

Daisy: Foxleap, Willowpel, I'm about to tell you who's re-entering the house!

Foxleap: Can we hurry? WWE's on in five minutes!

Daisy: Okay, okay! After receiving the MOST votes to return, the cat coming back in to the house is... WILLOWPELT!

Willowpelt: MONKEY SAMURAI COOKIE! OH YEAH!

Foxleap: Gotta go, can't miss WWE, byeeeeeee! (bolts out the secret door)

Daisy: Willowpelt, come out here!

Willowpelt: (dives through the TV screen showing the secret room telecast) HAVE A CHICKEN! HAVE A DUCK! HAVE BOTH! 2,000 RED BALLONS!

Daisy: That's lovely. Now, how excited are you to enter the house?

Willowpelt: YAM ROLL!

Daisy: (sigh) Why do I talk to her?

Willowpelt: BECAUSE PINK+PURPLE=BLUE!

Daisy: Right. Well folks, you now know who's re-entering the house! Tune in tomorrow for the nominations and to see Willowpelt return!

Willowpelt: WISHY-WASHY DUBSTEP!


WEEK TWELVE, RETURNING CAT SPECIAL/NOMINATIONS

Superpower Holder: Jayfeather

Rule: Returning cat can't be nominated. Any nominations against Jayfeather will not count as he is automatically in the Final 5.


Voice-over: Hello and welcome to the live RETURNING CAT AND NOMINATION SPECIAL! Please welcome your host, DAISY!

(Daisy walks on to stage)

Daisy: Hello, every cat! For some reason this is a live thing, even though I'm going to be talking for like 2 minutes or something, but anyway, welcome to the LIVE RETURNING CAT SPECIAL!

Crowd: Who's it gonna be?

Daisy: Didn't you watch yesterday's show?

Crowd: There was a show on yesterday?

Daisy: (facepaw) Forget it. 

Crowd: TELL US THE RETURNING CAT!

Daisy: Okay, okay! Sheesh.

(Ferncloud walks on to stage) 

Ferncloud: Hold on, Daisy, you shouldn't be taking orders like that!

Daisy: Ferncloud? How did you get here?

Ferncloud: I asked security very nicely to let me in. Anyway, these cats need to ask you nicely!

Daisy: Ferncloud, it doesn't matter.

Ferncloud: Actually, it does! Now, crowd, ask Daisy nicely, please.

Crowd: Please tell us the returning cat, Daisy?

Daisy: Of course!

Ferncloud: (purrs) Much better!

Daisy: Now, Ferncloud, could you go to the audience so we can get on with the show please?

Ferncloud: Certainly! (goes to the audience)

Daisy: Now, everyone, please welcome the returning cat... WILLOWPELT!

(Willowpelt comes on to stage bouncing on a pogo stick)

Willowpelt: WILLOWPELT! WLLOWPELT! WILLOWPELT! WILLOWPELT! I BOOTED SPONGEBOB OUT OF HIS PINEAPPLE AND ATE PATRICK!

Daisy: Willowpelt, how does it feel to be back in the house?

Willowpelt: IT FEELS BETTER THAN A FLAMINGO!

Daisy: What?

Willowpelt: I JOINED THE FBI AND GOT KICKED OUT FOR EATING THE BOSS'S DORITOS!

Daisy: Whatever. Now, go through the doors.

Willowpelt: OKAY! (throws pogo stick away and breaks through the doors)

Daisy: Great, now we have to fix them!


(Big Brother has called all housemates to the lounge)

Big Brother: Housemates, I have a surprise for you,

Shoalfoot: Oh, great! -_-

Big Brothher: Yes, it is! Tonight, an evicted housemate is going to return!

Everyone: NUUUUUUUU!

Brightheart: Why this late in the game?? D:

Scarletpaw: Anyone but Aquapslash!

Big Brother: They're going to return... NOW!

(sirens blare)

Big Brother: INTRUDER! INTRUDER! INTRUDER!

(everyone runs to the entrance)

(Willowpelt sprints in)

Willowpelt: I AM THE COOKIE MUNCHER OF SAMURAI LAND!

Everyone but Sorreltail: NUUUUUUUUUUU! 

Brightheart: WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE HER!? 

Scarletpaw: ANYONE BUT HER! (sips tea)

Sorreltail: MUUUUUUUUUM! (tacklehugs)

Darkstripe: Great, more people to allign against me!

Willowpelt: SHUT UP, STRIPEDARK!

Darkstripe: (sigh) It's Darkstripe!

Jayfeather: Grumpeh!

Willowpelt: JAYFEATHER!

Cinderpelt: Hi, Willowpelt!

Willowpelt: CINDERPELT!

Everyone: BOOOOOOO!

Willowpelt: NO BOOING CINDERPELT!

Scarletpaw: But... (whispers in to Willowpelt's ear)

Willowpelt: BOOOOOOOO!

Big Brother: All housemates, to the lounge.


(in the lounge)

Big Brother: Housemates, it's time to nominate! As she has just returned, Willowpelt cannot be nominated.

Shoalfoot: What? So she just gets a free pass to next week?

Big Brother: Yes. Yes she does.

Darkstripe: That sucks!

Sorreltail: It does not! (punches)

Big Brother: Getting back on track, Thrushpelt was evicted last week and he has a superpower to give out!

(Thrushpelt appears on the TV screen)

Thrushpelt: Hi all!

Brightheart: BOOOOOOO! (throws sausage at the TV)

Thrushpelt: AAAAAAH! (dives for cover)

Big Brother: (facepalm) It can't hit you! You're behind a TV screen!

Thrushpelt: That's a relief! Anyways, I give my superpower to Jayfeather!

Jayfeather: GRUMP! YAY!

Big Brother: Jayfeather, go to the Diary Room. Everyone else, go to the nominations room


(in the Diary Room)

Jayfeather: Grumpeh grumpeh grump!

Big Brother: Jayfeather, your superpower is: You have to guess who the cats are going to nominate, and for each one you get right, you get one nomination point. Is that clear?

Jayfeather: (nods)

Big Brother: Sorreltail is going to go first. Who do you think she'll nominate?

Jayfeather: Grump-

Big Brother: And speak English please.

Jayfeather: (sigh) Fine. I think she'll nominate Darkstripe, obviously, and.... um... Cinderpelt?

Big Brother: Your guesses are locked in. Let's see who she nominates!


(in the nominations room)

Big Brother: Oh, I forgot to mention, Willowpelt can't nominate either. (facepalm) Willowpelt, please leave.

Willowpelt: YOU CAN GET RID  OF ME, BUT YOU CAN'T DEFEAT ME! (sprints out of the room)

Big Brother: Sorreltail will nominate first. Sorreltail, to the chamber.

(Sorreltail enters)

Big Brother: Sorreltail, nominate now.

Sorreltail: For 4 points I nominate DARKSTRIPE and must I explain why?

Big Brother: Nope. Accepted. You have 1 point left.

Sorreltail: For 1 point I nominate JAYFEATHER, because he's the biggest threat to me winning, and we're down to the final 8, so it's time to start thinking about that.

Big Brother: Accepted.

Table:

DARKSTRIPE 4

Brightheart 0

Cinderpelt 0

Scarletpaw 0

Shoalfoot 0

Sorreltail 0

Jayfeather 1


(back in the Diary room)

Jayfeather: GRUMPTY GRUMPEH GRUMP!?

Big Brother: You got one right, so you have one point. Cinderpelt's going to nominate next, who do you think she'll nominate?

Jayfeather: Me and Scarletpaw.

Big Brother: Okay, your guesses are locked in. Let's see who she nominates.


Big Brother: CInderpelt, to the chamber

(Cinderpelt enters)

Big Brother: Cinderpelt, nominate now.

Cinderpelt: 4 to JAYFEATHER

Big Brother: Accepted.

Cinderpelt: 1 to SCARLETPAW.

Big Brother: That was quick, Accepted.

Table:

DARKSTRIPE 4

SCARLETPAW 1

Brightheart 0

Cinderpelt 0

Scarletpaw 0

Shoalfoot 0

Sorreltail 0

Jayfeather 5


(back in the nominations room)

Jayfeather: GRUMPITY GRUMPEH!

Big Brother: Jayfeather, you guessed both nominations, so you get 2 points to nominate with. You currently have 3 points to nominate with. Next is Brightheart. Who do you think she'll nominate?

Jayfeather: Um... Um... Scarletpaw and... Darkstripe?

Big Brother: Your guesses are locked in. Let's see who she nominates.


(in the nominations room)

Big Brother: Brightheart, to the chamber

(Brightheart enters)

Big Brother: Brightheart, nominate now.

Brightheart: For 3 points I nominate SHOALFOOT, because she has an alliance with Scarletpaw and that's dangerous at this time of the competition.

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 2 points left.

Brightheart: For 2 points I nominate SORRELTAIL because I also see her as a threat.

Big Brother: Accepted.

Table:

DARKSTRIPE 4

SHOALFOOT 3

SORRELTAIL 2

Scarletpaw 1

Brightheart 0

Cinderpelt 0

Jayfeather 5


Jayfeather: NUUUUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: Tough luck! You didn;t get any points that time, but here's your chance to redeem yourself! Scarletpaw is nominating next, who do you think she'll nominate?

Jayfeather: Cinderpelt and Brightheart.

Big Brother: Your guesses are locked in! Let's see who she nominates!


(back in the nominations room)

Big Brother: Scarletpaw. to the chamber

(Scarletpaw enters)

Big Brother: Scarletpaw, nominate now.

Scarletpaw: 3 to CINDERPELT.

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 2 points left.

Scarletpaw: 2 to SORRELTAIL, because she's a threat to me winning.

Big Brother: Accepted.

Table:

DARKSTRIPE 4

SORRELTAIL 4

CINDERPELT 3

SHOALFOOT 3

Scarletpaw 1

Brightheart 0

Jayfeather 5


(in the Diary Room)

Big Brother: Jayfeather, you got one right, so you get one nomination point, bringing your total up to 4. Darkstripe's going to nominate next. Give me your guesses.

Jayfeather: Definitely Sorreltail and... Scarletpaw?

Big Brother: Your guesses are locked in! Let's see who he nominates!


(in the nomination room)

Big Brother: Darkstripe, to the chamber

(Darkstripe enters)

Big Brother: Darkstripe, nominate now.

Darkstripe: 4 points go to SORRELTAIL. I think we all know why.

Big Brother: (nods) Accepted. You have one point left.

Darkstripe: 1 point goes to SCARLETPAW, because all she does is drink tea, eat scones and talk to Shoalfoot.

Big Brother: Accepted.

TABLE:

SORRELTAIL 8

DARKSTRIPE 4

CINDERPELT 3

SHOALFOOT 3

Scarletpaw 2

Brightheart 0

Jayfeather 5


(in the Diary Room)

Big Brother: Yay! You got two points for that! You now have 6 points to nominate with! Okay, the only cat left before you is Shoalfoot. Guess who she'll nominate?

Jayfeather: Uh... Brightheart and Darkstripe?

Big Brother: Okay, your guesses are locked in! Let's see who she nominates!


(in the nominations room)

Big Brother: Shoalfoot, to the chamber

(Shoalfoot enters)

Big Brother: Shoalfoot, nominate now.

Shoalfoot: For 3 points I nominate CINDERPELT because she hates my buddy, Scarletpaw!

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 2 points left.

Shoalfoot: For 2 points I nominate JAYFEATHER because he's a serious threat at this stage in the game.

Big Brother: Accepted. 

TABLE:

SORRELTAIL 8

CINDERPELT 6

DARKSTRIPE 4

Shoalfoot 3

Scarletpaw 2

Brightheart 0

Jayfeather 7


(in the Diary Room)

Jayfeather: NUUUUUUUUUU! SHE NOMINATED ME! D:

Big Brother: Tough luck! You didn't get a point there. You get 6 points to nominate with!

Jayfeather: YAY!

Big Brother: And the best part is... You can use them ANY WAY YOU LIKE! You can nominate as many cats as you want!

Jayfeather: May I speak Grump?

Big Brother: Yes, you may speak Grump. Nominate now.

Jayfeather: Grumpeh grumpity grumpsauce de grumpeteh grumpeteh grump a la grump de grumeh!

Big Brother: You want to give 2 points to every cat who nominated you?

Jayfeather: (nods)

Big Brother: So that would be... SORRELTAIL, CINDERPELT and SHOALFOOT?

Jayfeather: (nods)

Big Brother: Accepted. Nominations are over. All cats to the lounge.

FINAL TABLE:

SORRELTAIL 10

CINDERPELT 8

SHOALFOOT 5

Darkstripe 4

Scarletpaw 2

Brightheart 0

Jayfeather 7


(in the lounge)

Big Brother: Housemates, total fail on my part, I forgot to mention that you couldn't nominate Jayfeather since he has a free pass to the final 5!

Cinderpelt: WHAT!? D:

Big Brother: So that means any nomination points given to him tonight don't count!

Cinderpelt: NUUUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: Well, as you know, Jayfeather had the superpower. His power was he could guess who you guys were going to nominate, and for each one he got right, he got a point to nominate with. 

Cinderpelt: D:

Big Brother: I will now reveal the cats nominated and the number of points they received. On 10 points, SORRELTAIL.

Sorreltail: NUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Darkstripe: YAAAAAAAAY!

Willowpelt: I OWN 60,000 PORCUPINES AND EVERY SINGLE ONE IS NAMED STEVE!

Big Brother: On 8 points, CINDERPELT.

Cinderpelt & Brightheart: NUUUUUUUUUUU!

Scarletpaw & Jayfeather: YAAAAAAAAY!

CInderpelt: (slaps them both) NO YAY!

Big Brother: And on 5 points, SHOALFOOT!

Shoalfoot: (gasp)

Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUU! NOT AGAIN! D:

Big Brother: Sorreltail, Cinderpelt, Shoalfoot, at the end of the week, one of you WILL be evicted. That is all.


WEEK TWELVE, DAILY SHOW (Ft. Mistybird, Blackstar, Mothwing, Ashfur, Bluestar & Berrynose)

(in the bedroom)

Willowpelt:BURRITO TACOS FOR SMARTIE FRECKLES! 

Cinderpelt:(throws pillow at Willowpelt) Shut up!

Willowpelt: (shreds pillow) I LIKE POTATOES!

Brightheart: We don't even need to get up! The alarm hasn't gone off yet!

(alarm goes off)

Brightheart: I stand corrected.


(in the lounge)

Cinderpelt: What are we going to do today?

Scarletpaw:  We need to get revenge on Big Brother!

Shoalfoot: Yes! But how?

Sorreltail: Let's force him to listen to Justin Bieber!

Willowpelt: LET'S LOCK HIM IN A RADIOACTIVE BLENDER!

Darkstripe: No! Let's force him to look at pictures of Sorreltail! 

Sorreltail: (punches)

Cinderpelt: I have an idea! Let me get the supplies!


(In the kitchen)

Cinderpelt: Right, I need cheese, tomatoes, dynamite and mud. (starts gathering supplies)

Scarletpaw: (punches Cinderpelt in the head)

Cinderpelt: Hey! What was that for?

Scarletpaw: I didn't get enough revenge on you! (slams her in to a wall_

Cinderpelt: Hey! That actually hurt!

Scarletpaw: Yeah? Well does this hurt!? HUH!? (pours a kettle of boiling water on Cinderpelt)

Cinderpelt: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Big Brother: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!? CINDERPELT, TO THE DOGHOUSE!

Cinderpelt: What? Why me? I was the one who got burned by the kettle!

Big Brother: (facepalm) Crap, got the names mixed around again! Scarletpaw, to the doghouse!


(Scarletpaw is in the Doghouse)

(Big Brother enters with a plate of scones and a cup of English Breakfast tea)

Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUU! PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME THROW THE SCONES IN THE RUBBISH BIN!

Big Brother: I'm not going to do that.

Scarletpaw: PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME SMASH THE TEACUP!

Big Brother: Not going to do that either.

Scarletpaw: Then what are you going to make me do?

Big Brother: Both!

Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: Well, not exactly. You don't smash the teacup, you pour the tea down the drain.

Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUU! 

Big Brother: Wait, wait, wait. I haven't even gotten to the best part! If you even take a bite of a scone or a sip of the tea, you get evicted! (starts laughing)

Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: Tea or scones first?

Scarletpaw: Tea! Just give me the tea!

Big Brother: (hands her the tea) Go!

Scarletpaw: (is bawling her eyes out) I'm sorry! I'm sorry! (pours tea down the drain) I'll always love you!

Big Brother: (struggling not to laugh) Okay, now the scones.

Scarletpaw: (takes the scones and opens the rubbish bin) I can't do it! 

Big Brother: Do it.

Scarletpaw: (dumps all the scones in at once and starts bawling) This is worse than the time I got the hiccups while working at Westfield in London! And that was really bad because they were so loud and there were so many people there! (runs out of the Doghouse crying)

Shoalfoot: (hugs her) It's okay, honey. Don't cry.

Cinderpelt: (laughs) Sucked in.

Shoalfoot: (knocks Cinderpelt out)

Darkstripe: Now, where were we again?

Jayfeather: GRUMPEH GRUMPEH GRUMPEH!

Willowpelt: WE WERE EATING RAINBOWS!

Sorreltail: We were going to get revenge on Big Brother.

Jayfeather: Grumpet grumpity grumpeh. 

Willowpelt: I LIKE ORANGE FLAVOURED MANGOES!

Darkstripe: Let's go to the lounge and continue scheming!


(in the lounge)

Darkstripe: So... Who votes radioactive blender?

Willowpelt: ME AND ALL MY PORCUPINES, WHO YOU MIGHT REMEMBER ARE NAMED STEVE!

Darkstripe: Okay, guess we're going with the radioactive blender!

Brightheart: (gasp) NUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Cinderpelt: Brightheart, what is it?

Brightheart: We're out of pretzels! We must get some now!

Scarletpaw: We can't! We're busy getting revenge on Big Brother!

Brightheart: But I need pretzels! And the shop is like 5 minutes away!

Shoalfoot: (sigh) Fine...

Willowpelt: TO THE SHOP OF DELICIOUS FOOD! (teleports there)

Sorreltail: Since when does Willowpelt have teleportation?

Shoalfoot: This is Willowpelt we're talking about!

Sorreltail: Well, let's teleport after her!

Jayfeather: GRUMPEH GRUMP!

Darkstripe: Jayfeather's right! We don't have teleportation!

Brightheart: CAN WE JUST GO!?

Cinderpelt: Fine, we'll walk there.


(at the shop)

Brightheart: PRETZEEEEELS!

Cinderpelt: Remember, only one packet. We don't have much money!

Brightheart: NUUUUUU! Sorreltail, come help me choose some pretzels!

Sorreltail: JUST GET THE BIGGEST BAG THEY HAVE!

Brightheart: Fine! (comes out with 2kg bag)

Scarletpaw: I hope you're sharing those.

Brightheart: MY PRETZELS! MINE!

Willowpelt: IN THE LAND OF NARNIA, THERE ARE FREE PRETZELS FOR ALL!

Brightheart: But that'll take too long! And Narnia doesn't even exist!

(they scan the pretzels)

Shop Guy: That'll be 2 million dollars!

Shoalfoot: NUUUUUUUU!

Brightheart: What now?

Shoalfoot: We only have $1,999,999.99!

Brightheart: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Shop Guy: Then get out of my shop!


Brightheart: I can't believe we were one cent short!

Darkstripe: I can't believe it!

Sorreltail: Well... What will we do now?

Willowpelt: LET'S EAT A PORCUPINE FLAVOURED MOUSE!

Brightheart: IT'S HOPELESS!

Mistybird: Hey! Are you cats looking for some pretzels?

Scarletpaw: Yes. Wherre are they?

Mistybird: That nightclub over there has tonnes.

Darkstripe: Then what are we waiting for?

Jayfeather: GRUMPEH GRUMPUS GRUMP.

Mistybird: GRUMPETEH GRUMPETEH GRUMP.

Jayfeather: (gasp) Grumpeh grump?

Mistybird: Grump!

Cinderpelt: TO THE NIGHTCLUB!

Shoalfoot: It's time for... Operation Pretzel!

(epic spy music plays)

Mistybird: But first, we need a plan. To the secret alley behind the nightclub!

(epic spy music plays)

Shoalfoot: Darkstripe, stop that!

Darkstripe: Sorry.


(at the secret alley behind the nightclub)

Mistybird: (spreads out massive sheet of paper) Okay, here's the plan. Jayfeather, you'll go in and be the blind cat who can't see, and...

Shoalfoot: Blind cat who can't see? That makes no sense! XD

Mistybird: (rolls eyes) ANYWAY, while Jayfeather's staggering around, Willowpelt will come in and shout random things, distracting everyone. While they're all distracted, I'll swing down from a rope and throw a cup of tea to Scarletpaw. Scarletpaw, make sure not to drink it, because you need to spill the tea on to the bartender's pants.

Scarletpaw: Got it! NO DRINKY TEA!

Mistybird: Okay, while Scarletpaw's helping the bartender, Shoalfoot will grab the pretzels and throw them to Darkstripe. By then, everyone will be chasing you, so you need to be fast. Darkstripe will hand the pretzels to Brightheart, who run out to the parking lot and load them in to my adorable SUV over there. Sorreltail, it's your job to stop Brightheart from eating the pretzels on the way out. Then, when you're out and have the pretzels in the car, I'll drive you back to the house. Any questions?

Cinderpelt: What do I do?

Mistybird: You get to sit in the front and listen to epic music. Also, it's your job to treat everyone's injuries if they have any and to make sure everyone has their seatbelts on.

Cinderpelt: YAY!

Sorrreltail: CAN WE STOP AT MCKITTY'S ON THE WAY BACK? PLEAAAAASE?

Mistybird: NO!

Darkstripe: Awww, you're no fun. 

Mistybird: (rolls eyes) Fine!

Everyone: YAY!

Mistybird: Now, let's put our plan in to action!

(epic spy music plays)

Shoalfoot: (backhands Darkstripe) Stop it!


(the housemates are about to enter the nightclub)

Mistybird: Okay, let's commence Operation Pretzel!

(epic spy music plays)

Shoalfoot: Seriously, Darkstripe, that's getting really annoying.

Darkstripe: Sorry.

Mistybird: Okay, let's go in!

(they enter the Nightclub)

(Blackstar comes dancing over)

Blackstar: Heeeeey, ThunderClan cats! Why are you guys here? Shouldn't you be on BBTC?

Brightheart: Oh, we're just gonna grab some pretzels-

Mistybird: (punches) What she means is, we were going to get some pretzels, but we aren't now.

Blackstar: (gasp) You aren't going to... steal the nightclub's pretzels, are you?

Mistybird: (nervous laugh) Of course not!

Blackstar: Brightheart, who is this fine lookin' lady?

Brightheart: Oh, that's Mistybird.

Blackstar: (in romanticly seductive voice) Why, hello, Mistybird. What brings your pretty pelt to this nightclub?

Mistybird: (blushes) I... really need to get going! (hands Blackstar a piece of paper) Call me sometime?

Blackstar: Oh, honey, you can delay it all you want, but you can never resist the charm of Blackstar!

(Fireflies by Owl City comes on)

Blackstar: Oh my StarClan, Oh my StarClan, I love this song! (starts dancing again) YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE YOUR EYES IF TEN MILLION FIREFLIES LIT UP THE WORLD AS I FELL ASLEEP!

Sorreltail: He is a horrible singer...

Mistybird: Thanks a lot, guys! That was so awkward! Why didn't one of you come up and pretend to be my date?

Scarletpaw: Well, firstly, most of us are she-cats...

Mistybird: YOU WEREN'T MEANT TO ANSWER THE QUESTION!

Scarletpaw: Sor-ree.

Mistybird: Okay, now it's time for the plan! Jayfeather, you're up! And speak English!

(Jayfeather staggers blindly to the middle of the nightclub)

Jayfeather: Oh, I feel like I'm about to faint! Oh, grumpeh grumpeh grump! (faints dramatically)

Mothwing: (gasp) Jay Jay! NUUUUUUUUU! SOME CAT GET SOME WATER!

Mistybird: Okay, now to completely distract them. You're up, Willowpelt!

(Willowpelt sprints to the middle of the nightclub)

Willowpelt: THE WORLD IS A PURPLE ORANGE INSIDE A WATERMELON IGLOO! I LIKE DANCING LIKE A SPRINKE STUCK ON A TRAIN!

Everyone: Huh? o.O

Mistybird: It's working!

Willowpelt: ORANGE ORANGES! SPRINKLE TRAINS! HONEY BADGER! ORANGE DIVIDED BY PURPLE= 676,676!!

(shocked silence)

Blackstar: TASER HER WITH A TASER!

Mothwing: (throws chair at Willowpelt)

Willowpelt: (pretends to die) I'VE BEEN CHAIRED BY A CHAIR! D:

Blackstar: YAAAAAAY!

Mistybird: Next step! (swings down on a rope and throws tea) Scarletpaw, catch!

(Scarletpaw catches the tea and walks up to the bar, pretending to be drunk)

Scarletpaw: I'm soooooooo drunk! I need water!

Bar Guy: But you haven't even had a drink.

Scarletpaw: I SAID I'M DRUNK! NOW GIVE ME SOME WATER!

Bar Guy: (sigh) Fine. (bends down to get water)

Scarletpaw: (spills tea on his pants) Whoops!

Bar Guy: Hey! Great, now I have to get changed!

Scarletpaw: Shoalfoot, now!

Shoalfoot: (grabs the bowl of pretzels and runs) Sayounara, kitties!

Blackstar: HEY! COME BACK WITH OUR FREE FOOD!

Mothwing: THEY'RE GETTING AWAY! CALL THE POLICE!

Shoalfoot: Darkstripe, catch! (throws bowl towards him)

Darkstripe: I'm on it! 

(the bowl sails towards him)

Darkstripe: Oh, what a lovely pair of shorts! (runs to look at them)

(the bowl smashes)

Brightheart: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Mistybird: Everybody, gather them up in this snap-lock bag!

(they gather the pretzels in a snap-lock bag)

Brightheart: (grabs them and runs to the car)

Sorreltail: (runs after her) Don't eat them!

Brightheart: I won't!

Mothwing: THE POLICE HAVE BEEN CALLED!

Mistybird: Let's get out of here! (runs towards the door)

Blackstar: Wow, look at Mistybird run! Mmmmmmmm! Dang, she's got nice legs! (wolf whistles)

Mistybird: STOP HITTING ON ME! 

(the group run out the door)


(in the car)

Cinderpelt: (is listening to Radioactive) RADIOACTIVE! RADIOACTIVE! 

(the rest of the cats open the car doors and climb in noisily)

Sorreltail: Drive, drive, drive! Hurry, Mistybird!

Brightheart: SAVE THE PRETZELS! D:

Cinderpelt: (pushes them out of the car and locks it) NO INTERRUPTING RADIOACTIVE!

Mistybird: YOU CAN'T LOCK ME OUT OF MY OWN CAR! D:

(the song finishes)

Cinderpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (unlocks the car)

(the group slides back in)

Shoalfoot: We'd be at McKitty's by now if it wasn't for Darkstripe!

Scarletpaw: Yeah! Why did you ruin our plan?

Darkstripe: But... The shorts were on sale! D:(cuddles shorts)

(Ashfur and Bluestar show up in the Epic Hat Mobile)

Ashfur: FREEZE, CRIMINALS!

Bluestar: GIVE BACK THE PRETZELS!

Jayfeather: Grumpeteh grumpeh!

Mistybird: (slams the accelerator)

(Ashfur and Bluestar speed after them)

Bluestar: STOP, IN THE NAME OF ALL HATS THAT ARE EPIC!

Willowpelt: THAT HAT SUCKS!

Ashfur; Oh no, you did not just insult my epic hat. Now this is personal...

(they continue to speed down the road)

Scarletpaw: I'm amazed at how this 4-seater car can hold 9 cats...


(a short time later)

Mistybird: I CAN'T SHAKE THEM! D:

Cinderpelt: WE'RE DRIVING IN TO A DEAD END! 

Everyone: NUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Bluestar: This is great! We're leading them to a dead end!

Ashfur: We have them surrounded! Wooooo! 

Blackstar: At last! Mistybird shall be mine!

Bluestar: When did you get here?

Blackstar: I've been here the entire time. Here's a tip, if you don't want unexpected guests, buy a two-seater.

Ashfur: (throws him out of the car)

Blackstar: NUUUUUUUU! (faceplants on the road)

Bluestar: Now, to get those pretzels back!


Sorreltail: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

Brightheart: WE CAN'T LOSE THE PRETZELS NOW! NOT AFTER EVERYTHING!

Scarletpaw: Wait! I have an idea!

Shoalfoot: What is it?

Scarletpaw: We can use WIllowpelt!

Darkstripe: Great idea!

Cinderpelt: Mistybird, stop the car!

(Mistybird breaks)

Sorreltail: Willowpelt, they stole all your Steves!

Willowpelt: NUUUUUUUUUU! MY PORCUBUDDIES! (roars like a lion and jumps out of the car, on to the bonnet of the Epic Hat Mobile)

Bluestar and Ashfur: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (jump out of the car)

Willowpelt: (jumps in the car and starts driving it) WEEEEEEEE! WEEEEEEE! LIME COIN OF LEMON SORBET! (crashes car in to tree)

Ashfur: THE EPIC HAT MOBILE! D:

Mistybird: Is she okay? 

Scarletpaw: It's Willowpelt, of course she's okay!

Willowpelt: I'M DANCING WITH AN ECHIDNA! HAVE A FREE BANANA FOR $300!

(the car explodes)

Bluestar: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Willowpelt: (jumps back in to Mistybird's car) EMPTY YOUR POCKETS OF THE SUNSHINE!

Mistybird: (speeds off) Bye suckeeeeeeers!

Ashfur: NUUUUUUUUUUU!

Shoalfoot: Can we go to McKitty's now?

Mistybird: No.

Darkstripe: But you promised! D:

Jayfeather: Grump! D:

Mistybird: No! We're going home!

Cinderpelt: (bursts in to tears) But we asked you and you said we could!

Mistybird: (sigh) Fine! (drives to McKitty's)


(at McKitty's)

Berrynose: Hi, welcome to McKitty's! What can I get for you today?

Brightheart: Berrynose?

Berrynose: Yes, I was forced to work here. Anyway, what do you want today?

Mistybird: 9 large Mouseburger meals, all with Coke.

Berrynose: Okay, that'll be $2 million

Everyone: NUUUUUUUUUUUU! OVER-PRICED FOOD! D:

Shoalfoot: NUUUUUUUUUUU! WE ONLY HAVE $1,999,999.99!

Jayfeather: GRUMPEH GRUMPEH GRUMP! (holds up 1 cent coin)

Sorreltail: (gasp) Jayfeather found a cent!

Shoalfoot: WE CAN AFFORD TO EAT FOOD NOW! (gives Berrynose the money)

Berrynose: (gives them the food)

Brigtheart: (gasp) NUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Cinderpelt: What is it?

Brightheart: WE'RE BROKE NOW!

Everyone: NUUUUUUUUUUU!

Willowpelt: BANANA POWDER!

Mistybird: Is it okay if you guys walk from here? I'm gonna stay for a while. And whatever you do, don't tell Blackstar where I am.

Darkstripe: We won't!

Brightheart: Bye! Thanks for everything!

Sorreltail: WE LOVE YOU!

Mistybird: Ew.


(at the BBTC house)

Brightheart: PRETZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS! (runs inside with the bag)

Jayfeather: GRUMPEH GRUMPEH!

Shoalfoot: Jayfeather wants you to save some!

(the housemates go inside)

Cinderpelt: (belly-flops on the couch) What an eventful day!

(Blackstar runs up to them)

Blackstar: Have you seen Mistybird?

Scarletpaw: Yeah, she's at McKitty's!

Blackstar: Thank you! (runs off)

Shoalfoot: We weren't supposed to tell him, remember!

Scarletpaw: (facepaw) Crap!

Sorreltail: Wow, we'll never forget this day, huh, gang?

Shoalfoot: I can't wait for the challenge tomorrow!

Darkstripe: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I FORGOT TO BUILD THE POOL! (runs outside and starts building it)

Brightheart: Oh dear... I hope he can build a pool in 22 hours!

Sorreltail: Not if I have anything to do with it...

(epic spy music plays)

Darkstripe: WHO'S USING MY CD PLAYER!?

Shoalfoot: Sorry. I couldn't resist.


(meanwhile, back at McKitty's)

Mistybird: (is sitting down reading the newspaper) Thank StarClan I got away from him!

(Blackstar struts in)

Blackstar: (in romantic voice) Well, well, well. We meet again, my beautiful kitten! 

Mistybird: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!


WEEK TWELVE, CHALLENGE

(Darkstripe is rushing madly to build the pool) Okay, shovel, hose, lemonade. Got everything I need! (starts digging madly)

(Sorreltail comes running out, a shovel in her paw)

Sorreltail: Hey, Darkstripe! Do you want me to help?

Darkstripe: Yes, please!

Sorreltail: (hits him in the head with the shovel and fills the hole back up)

Darkstripe: Hey! How is that helping?

Sorreltail: Helping you get evicted!

Darkstripe: Oh.

Brightheart: Sorreltail, as much as we all hate Darkstripe, that's kind of mean.

Sorreltail: Who cares?

Shoalfoot: Why do we need a pool anyway?

Scarletpaw: For the challenge, obviously.

Cinderpelt: Wait, we have to swim?

Scarletpaw: Yes.

Cinderpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Jayfeather: GRUMPEH GRUMPEH GRUMP! D:

(oven dings) 

Scarletpaw: Oooh! The sausages are ready!

Darkstripe: No fair!

Willowpelt: SAUSAGE FUN IS FUN!

Darkstripe: (starts digging the hole again) This sucks.

Willowpelt: NO, YOU SUCK, MISTER LEMON PIE!

Darkstripe: D: 


(5 hours later)

Big Brother: There's 10 minutes until the challenge! Just warning you.

Darkstripe: Oh, thank StarClan I'm nearly done! Just gotta fill it up.

(starts filling it up)

Darkstripe: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! ALL THIS WATER'S MAKING ME NEED TO PEE! (dashes off to the bathroom)

Sorreltail: This should be fun!

Jayfeather: Grumpus de grump?

Sorreltail: Jayfeather, watch this. WILLOWPELT!

Willowpelt: I SALUTE YOU, DORITO LOVER WHO HATES DORITOS!

Sorreltail: Darkstripe trapped Steve in the pool!

Willowpelt: NUUUUUUUUU! I'M COMING, STEVE, STEVE, STEVE, (59,996 'Steve's' later) OR STEVE! (shreds pool to pieces) NUUUUUUUUUU! WHERE ARE YOU, STEVE!? (runs off)

Darkstripe: (gasp) NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! What happened to the pool? It looks like a bomb hit it!

Shoalfoot: It was Willowpelt, but close enough.

Sorreltail: (laughing) Bye bye, Darkstripe!

Big Brother: Woah, woah, woah! What happened? Darkstripe was filling the pool up 20 seconds ago!

Everyone but Willowpelt and Sorreltail: (points at Sorreltail) It was her!

Sorreltail: (bleep) you all...

Big Brother: Oh, Sorreltail? Did I fail to mention that if anyone tampered with the pool so it wasn't built on time would be evicted instead of Darkstripe?

Sorreltail: WHAT!? D:

Big Brother: So, that means that you have approximately (checks watch) 8 minutes to rebuild the pool entirely!

Brightheart: OWNED!

Darkstripe: Hey! Why does everyone keep stealing my lines?

Brightheart: Because we can. 

Scarletpaw: Stop talking! I wanna watch Sorreltail fail!

Shoalfoot: Hey, that rhymes!

Scarletpaw: SHUT UP!

Shoalfoot: D:

Sorreltail: Willowpelt, put everything back!

Cinderpelt: Hey! She's cheating, the cheater!

Willowpelt: (puts everything back the way it was)

CInderpelt: Why, oh why, must fanfictions be so illogical?

Big Brother: It's time for the challenge! Darkstripe built the pool in time, so he stays!

Everyone but Sorreltail: YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Sorreltail: NUUUUUUUUUUU!

Jayfeather: (pushes Sorreltail in the pool)

Everyone: OWNED!


(Sorreltail has gotten out of the pool and is dry.)

Big Brother: Why did you dry your fur? You're just going to get it wet again.

Sorreltail: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Cinderpelt: (pushes her in the pool)

Sorreltail: STOP DOING THAT!

Big Brother: Anyway, this is the challenge! We're gonna have a Water Polo tournament! HOORAY!

Everyone: Huh?

Big Brother: First, you'll split in to teams of four, then the winning team splits in to two teams of two and the winning team from that game face each other to determine the ultimate winner. Everyone clear?

Shoalfoot: Who are the teams?

Big Brother: Okay, I'm going to put Scarletpaw and Shoalfoot on seperate teams because that'll be hilarious and...

Scarletpaw: (bursts out crying) This week just gets worse and worse!

Shoalfoot: Put us on the same team! (slaps Big Brother)

Big Brother: Well, not now.

Shoalfoot: (cries)

Big Brother: Okay, so Darkstripe and Sorreltail are going on the same team because I'm feeling super evil today

Darkstripe and Sorreltail: NUUUUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: You two can go on Shoalfoot's team. Okay, each team gets one cripple to make things fair, so Cinderpelt can go on Shoalfoot's team and Jayfeather can go on Scarletpaw's team, which leaves Willowpelt and Brightheart to go on Scarletpaw's team too! HOORAY!

Cinderpelt: (cries) I'm not a cripple!

Jayfeather: Grumpeh grumpeh grump! D:

Big Brother: EVERYBODY START!


MATCH ONE: 

Team Scarlet (Scarletpaw, Jayfeather, Willowpelt & Brightheart) Vs. Team Shoal (Shoalfoot, Cinderpelt, Sorreltail, Darkstripe)


Big Brother: Get in!

(the cats climb in the pool)

Brightheart: NUUUUUUUUUUUU! IT'S SO COLD!

Jayfeather: (is splashing about madly) GRUMPETEH GRUMPEH GRUMP!!! D:

Cinderpelt: (punches) Shut up! I can't swim either!

Scarletpaw: (punches Cinderpelt) Don't punch Jayfeather!

Cinderpelt: (punches Scarletpaw) Then don't punch me!

Brightheart: (punches them both) STOP PUNCHING!

Scarletpaw: Okay then! (holds Cinderpelt underwater)

Cinderpelt: HEEEELP! SHE'S GONNA DROWN ME!!!! D:

Big Brother: THAT'S ENOUGH! Since Scarletpaw's team is being so violent, Shoalfoot's team starts with a one goal advantage!

Willowpelt: (punches Scarletpaw) THANKS A LOT, YOU GIANT SCONE OF A CHEESEBURGER!

(15 minutes later)

Big Brother: Now that everyone's settled down, we can start this! Remember, Shoalfoot's team has a one goal advantage!. Let's go!  (throws the ball in to the pool)

(Scarletpaw grabs it and throws it to WIllowpelt)

Willowpelt: (gasp) THIS BALL LOOKS LIKE A CHEESEBURGER! (bites the ball)

(the ball deflates)

Darkstripe: WILLOWPELT! D: (punches)

Sorreltail: Hey! Don't punch Willowpelt! (punches)

Big Brother: CAN WE STOP PUNCHING EVERYONE!?

Jayfeather: (punches Big Brother)

Big Brother: (throws a ball at Jayfeather's head) Play on!

(Scarletpaw grabs the ball and swims down towards the goals)

Shoalfoot: KIMONO SLAP! (slaps with kimono and grabs the ball)

Brightheart: How are kimonos even waterproof?

Shoalfoot: Darkstripe, catch! (throws the ball towards Darkstripe)

Darkstripe: I got it! I got it! 

Sorreltail: No, my ball! Mine! (jumps in front of Darkstripe)

(the ball hits Sorreltail in the head and bounces in to the arms of WIllowpelt)

Willowpelt: BAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAH DORITO CYCLONE TIME! (charges towards tge goals)

Team Shoal: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (jumps out of the way)

(Willowpelt scores)

Big Brother: That's 1-1! Shoalfoot's team have the ball in the centre of the pool! (Shoalfoot throws it to Sorreltail)

(Sorreltail catches it and scans the pool, wondering who to throw to)

Darkstripe: Me! I'm open!

Sorreltail: Cinderpelt, catch!

Darkstripe: D:

(Cinderpelt limps forward and barely catches the ball)

Jayfeather: GRUMPEH GRUMPEH GRUMP! (puts Cinderpelt in a headlock)

Cinderpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUUU! LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (drops the ball)

(Shoalfoot snatches it)

Shoalfoot: Sorreltail, here! (throws the ball at her)

(Sorreltail catches it and shoots for the goal)

(Scarletpaw saves)

Scarletpaw: The scones have given me power! (throws the ball towards Willowpelt)

Willowpelt: OOH, SHINY! (dives for it)

(Shoalfoot snatches the ball in mid-air and scores)

WIllowpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! MY SHINY THING! D:

Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: Shoalfoot's team leads 2-1!


(Scarletpaw starts with the ball and throws it to Brightheart)

Brightheart: Yay! I actually caught the ball! YAAAAAAY!

(Shoalfoot knocks it out of Brightheart's paw and runs with it)

Brightheart: (cries)

Willowpelt: NUUUUUUU! THE CHEESEBURGER BALL! D: (slans in to Shoalfoot, sending the ball flying)

(Jayfeather snatches it)

Jayfeather: Grumpus grump! (runs towards the goals)

Cinderpelt: (pushes Jayfeather over) It's mine! (runs towards the goals)

Brightheart: LE SLAP! (slaps and takes the ball)

Cinderpelt: NUUUUUUUUU! I WAS LE SLAPPED! (charges after Brightheart)

Willowpelt: PROTECTION ACTIVATED! (slams in to Cinderpelt, knocking her over)

Cinderpelt: Hey! That's cheating!

Big Brother: There aren't any rules.

Cinderpelt: Whaaaaaaat?

Shoalfoot: Um, hello? Brightheart's about to run in to an open goal!'

Brightheart: I'M GONNA SCORE! HOORAY! (scores)

Big Brother: That's 2-2! 30 seconds left!

Brightheart: Pass it to Willowpelt!

Cinderpelt: Don't let them pass it to Willowpelt!

Scarletpaw: (throws it towards Willowpelt)

Sorreltail: (blocks)

Scarletpaw: (throws the ball towards Willowpelt)

Sorreltail: (blocks)

Brightheart: FOR THE TEAM! (punches Sorreltail)

Sorreltail: Hey! D: (punches Brightheart)

Darkstripe: What is it with everyone and punching today?

(While they are distracted, Scarletpaw throws it to Willowpelt. Willowpelt catches it.)

Shoalfoot: (gasp) NUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: 10 seconds left!

Willowpelt: SUBMARINE PORK CHOP.... ACTIVATE! (turns in to submarine and sprints)

Team Shoal: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (runs out of the way)

(Willowpelt slams it in to the goals and morphs back in to a cat.)

Big Brother: Time! Team Scarlet wins 3-2!

Team Scarlet: HOORAY!

Big Brother: Right, now you'll split in to two teams of two. Willowpelt and Scarletpaw vs. Jayfeather and Brightheart. Next match begins!


MATCH TWO: Team Willow (Willowpelt and Scarletpaw) vs. Team Jay (Jayfeather and Brightheart)

Big Brother: Start!

Scarletpaw: Willowpelt, catch! (throws the ball towards Willowpelt)

Brightheart: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (dives and misses)

Willowpelt: BAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA IT'S THE GOAL TIME, GOAL, GOAL, GOAAAAAAAAL! (throws the ball towards the goals)

(the ball catches fire as it is travelling so fast)

Jayfeather: GRUMPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH! D: (runs away)

Brightheart: Jayfeather, try and stop it!

(Jayfeather attempts to stop the ball. It hits his paw and goes it. His paw snaps off)

Jayfeather: (is not amused)

Big Brother: (sigh) Can someone put that back?

Brightheart: Okay, Jayfeather, I need to put your paw back on.

(Brightheart glues Jayfeather's paw back on with superglue)

Big Brother: Brightheart?

Brightheart: Oh, I have to start. (throws ball to Jayfeather)

Jayfeather: GRUMPEH GRUMP!

(Willowpelt comes charging towards him)

Willowpelt: GIMMIE THE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL! 

Jayfeather: (drops the ball and runs)

Brightheart: (facepaw) We're screwed.

Willowpelt: SCARLETPAW, CATCH! (throws the ball towards Scarletpaw)

(Scarletpaw catches and throws towards the goals)

Brightheart: LE BLOCK! (blocks the ball)

Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUU! HOW DARE YOU LE BLOCK MY BALL?

Brightheart: (runs down the pool towards the goals)

WIlllowpelt: (comes running towards her) 

Brightheart: LE PUNCH! (punches Willowpelt)

Willowpelt: (sinks to the bottom of the pool)

Brightheart: (throws the ball to Jayfeather) Jayfeather, go for goal!

(Jayfeather catches the ball and shoots for the goals)

Scarletpaw: (catches the ball)

Jayfeather: D:

Scarletpaw: (runs towards the goals)

Brightheart: (runs back to defend)

Scarletpaw: SUCKED IN! I'M GONNA GET A GOAL! (throws the ball towards the goals)

Brightheart: LE BLOCK! (blocks the ball)

Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUU! I WAS LE BLOCKED AGAIN! D:

Brightheart: Jayfeather! (throws the ball towards him)

(Willowpelt rises from the bottom of the pool and catches the ball)

Brightheart: D: 

Willowpelt: FIREBAAAAAAAAALL!!! (throws the ball towards the goals. The ball catches fire.)

Brightheart: LE RUN! (runs out of the way)

(Willowpelt scores)

Big Brother: That's 2-0 to Team Willow! (Brightheart throws it towards Jayfeather)

(Willowpelt intercepts)

Willowpelt: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA- (stops suddenly) So tired... (sinks to the bottom of the pool)

Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUU! THE ONLY REASON WE'RE WINNING! D: (dives down after her)

(Scarletpaw resurfaces a short time later)

Scarletpaw: Willowpelt, stay with me!

Darkstripe: Let her die! Then I'll win!

Sorreltail: (punches) NO! THAT WOULD BE BAD!

Willowpelt: Need... energy drink...

Scarletpaw: Shoalfoot, quick!

(Shoalfoot runs off to get an energy drink, returning a short time later)

Scarletpaw: Willowpelt, drink this! (pours the energy drink down her throat)

Willowpelt: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (jumps in to the pool) LIME COIN POWERUP!

Big Brother: Stop! Scarletpaw and Willowpelt are disqualified!

Scarletpaw: What? Why?

Big Brother: For use of performance enhancing drugs!

Scarletpaw: What? An energy drink isn't a drug!

Big Brother: But it enhanced Willowpelt's performance. So get out.

Willowpelt: (jumps out of the pool and does 3680 laps of the house) WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Big Brother: Brightheart vs. Jayfeather for the final!


MATCH THREE: BRIGHTHEART VS. JAYFEATHER

Big Brother: Here we go! It's finals time!

Jayfeather: Screw this, I quit.

Everyone: (shocked gasp)

Big Brother:Wh... what?

Jayfeather: (is getting out of the pool) You heard me. I quit. This is really boring.

Big Brother: Fine. Brightheart wins!

Brightheart: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Cinderpelt: Quitter, quitter, quitter! 

Scarletpaw: (pushes her in the pool)

Everyone but Cinderpelt: OWNED!

Sorreltail: Yay! I didn't get owned for once!

Darkstripe: (pushes her in the pool)

Everyone but Sorreltail: OWNED!


(Brightheart is standing with Big Brother next to the Four Cases of Doom)

Big Brother: Okay, Brightheart, time to pick your case! One case contains $5,000 of CASH, one contains a $100 McKitty's voucher, one contains the entire first season of Ashfur and Bluestar's new crime show, and the other contains INSTANT EVICTION! Which case do you pick?

Brightheart: Um... Number four!

Big Brother: Open it and see what you've won!

(Brightheart opens the case)

Brightheart: EEEEEEEEEEEEE! I GOT $5,000! YAAAAAAAAAAAY! I CAN BUY TWOLEG THINGS! (dances)

Cinderpelt: And we thought Willowpelt was the crazy one...

(the pool explodes)

(everyone looks. Willowpelt is standing next to the rubble)

Willowpelt: (is running around in circles) I AM THE POTATOEY POTATO! THE MOST POTATOED POTATO TO EVER POTATO!

Sorreltail: (shrugs) Who else but Willowpelt?


WEEK TWELVE, EVICTION

Voice-over: Hello and welcome to the LIVE EVICTION! Please welcome your host, DAISY!

(Daisy walks out on to stage wearing jeans)

Daisy: Hello, every cat! Don't I just look fabulous in these jeans?

Cat in Crowd: No!

Daisy: (bottom lip quivers)

Producer: Daisy, just take them off.

Daisy: Fine! (rips them to shreds)

Producer: (facepalm)

Daisy: Welcome to the live eviction, you horrible, horrible crowd! 

Cat in Crowd: SHUT UP! (throws ball)

Daisy: Okay, I'm sorry! D:Now, who's going home tonight? SORRELTAIL?

(crowd cheers)

Daisy: CINDERPELT? 

(crowd cheers)

Daisy: Or SHOALFOOT?

(crowd cheers)

Daisy: That's helpful... Anyway, let's take a look at the voting lines!

(Daisy crosses to the voting lines. They read:)

??? 14%

??? 47% 

??? 39%

Daisy: Someone's screwed. Anyway, here are the numbers you need!


Voice-over: To save SORRELTAIL, dial 1902 55 71 12! Or SMS SORRELTAIL to 161 661!

To save CINDERPELT, dial 1902 55 71 03! Or SMS CINDERPELT to 161 661!

To save SHOALFOOT, dial 1902 55 71 16! Or SMS SHOALFOOT to 161 661


Daisy: See you after the break!


(after the break) Daisy: Welcome back every cat! Let's cross to the house to find out which cat is safe!

(Daisy crosses to the house)

Daisy: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Housemates: Hi.

Daisy: Way to kill the moment, jerks.

Scarletpaw: D: The poor moment! 

Darkstripe: (wailing) It didn't deserve to die! Daisy: (mutters to self) Oh My StarClan, what idiots... (to the group) Shall we find out who's safe?

Cinderpelt: (gasp) YES!

Shoalfoot: (flies at the screen) TELL US!

Daisy: Let go of the screen! That's expensive, you know!

Shoalfoot: Sorry. (sits back down)

Daisy: And so you should be. Now, let's find out who the  safe cat is!

(the cats wait in silence)

Daisy: After receiving the MOST votes to save, the cat that is definitely staying at least another week is... CINDERPELT!

Cinderpelt: (falls off the couch in shock)

Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Jayfeather: GRUUUUUUUUUUUMPEEEEEEEEH! D:

Cinderpelt: Are you serious? Like, dead serious?

Daisy: As dead as a piece of fresh-kill.

Cinderpelt: YAY! I'M SAFE AND GET TO MAUL SCARLETPAW AND JAYFEATHER!

Scarletpaw: (gasp) Shoalfoot, that means you could go!

Shoalfoot: (hugs her) Don't say that! D:

Darkstripe: She can't go, it has to be Sorreltail!

Willowpelt: (mauls) SHUT UP! LEMON PIES AREN'T MEANT TO TALK!


Daisy: Right... We'll be back after the break to find out which cat is going home!


AD BREAK:

Shoalfoot: Konnichiwa, nekos around the world! Do you want to speak Nihongo, but have never had the money to afford classes? Well, now you can, with my NEW Japanese tutorial DVD! It shows you how to write and speak basic Japanese, teaching you how to write every letter in all 3 alphabets! The ULTIMATE Japanese learning experience in a 6 disc set for just $19.95! That's right- $19.95! But that's not all- call within the next 30 minutes, and you'll get either a pack sushi or a kimono for FREE! ABSOLUTELY FREE! 

Warning: Shoalfoot is not responsible for this DVD teaching kits and/or apprentices how to swear. That's your problem, pal, not mine.


(after the ad break)

Daisy: Hello, every cat! It's that time again! We get to find out who the screwed cat is! YAY!

(Daisy crosses to the house)

Daisy: Hi housem-

Scarletpaw: JUST TELL US WHO'S GONNA GO ALREADY! D:

Daisy: Okay, sheesh. Sorreltail, Shoalfoot, one of you is just seconds away from leaving the Big Brother house. After receiving the LEAST amount of votes to save, it's time to go...

(Scarletpaw and Shoalfoot hug each other)

Daisy: ...SHOALFOOT!

Scarletpaw: (instantly starts crying)

Shoalfoot and Darkstripe: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Scarletpaw: (grabs on to Shoalfoot) This is my best friend! No one else can have her!

Shoalfoot: I don't wanna leaaaaaaave! D:

Big Brother: Shoalfoot, get out.

(everyone starts running towards the exit)

Scarletpaw: I  MISS YOU ALREADY!

Shoalfoot: I MISS YOU MORE!

Scarletpaw: THAT'S A LIE! 

Shoalfoot: This is even worse than the time I left my sushi on the train at Tokyo and I had to go all the way to North Carolina to get it back! 

Scarletpaw: This is even worse than the time I had to throw a whole plate of freshly made scones in the bin! 

(the doors open)

Big Brother: Shoalfoot, you have 5 seconds to leave the house before you are removed by force.

(Shoalfoot steps in to the doors)

Shoalfoot: I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER! BYEEEEEEEE! (bursts in to tears)

Scarletpaw: (dives through the door) TAKE ME WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: (throws her back inside) NO!

Scarletpaw: BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

(Shoalfoot exits)


(on the stage)

Daisy: Please welcome evictee number ten...

Cat in Crowd: It's number eleven, stupid!

Daisy: No, it's number ten because Willowpelt came back, stupid. Now you ruined the take! D: TAKE TWO!


(take two)

Daisy: Please welcome evictee number ten, SHOALFOOT!

(Shoalfoot walks on to stage, crying her eyes out)

Daisy: What's wrong? D:

Shoalfoot: I MISS SCARLETPAW!!!! D:

Daisy: It's been 1 minute...

Shoalfoot: I KNOW! D:

Daisy: Uh... how about we sit down and take a look at the voting lines?

Shoalfoot: (sniffs) Okay.

(Daisy and Shoalfoot sit down)

(Daisy crosses over to the voting lines, they read:)

SHOALFOOT 14%

CINDERPELT 47%

SORRELTAIL 39%


Shoalfoot: Stupid audience.

Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Shoalfoot: SHUT UP!

Audience: (shuts up)

Daisy: Okay, Shoalfoot, you now have a superpower to give-

Shoalfoot: SCARLETPAW!

Daisy: Really? Because you do know that next week is the last nominations, right?

Shoalfoot: It is?

Daisy: Yes!

Shoalfoot: SCARLETPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!

Daisy: Okay, then! Well folks, I'm Daisy and Shoalfoot has just been evicted! Good night, every cat!

Shoalfoot: Sayounara!


Get ready for the FINAL nominations of the year! Who will be nominated? Who won't make finale week? And will the housemates FINALLY get revenge on Big Brother? FInd out all this and MORE in Big Brother: ThunderClan Season 2/Week Thirteen













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