Big Brother: ThunderClan Season 2/Week Thirteen

Authour's Note

This episode is dedicated to Darky, and her beloved dog, Twinky. Darky, I know what it feels like to lose your greatest friend, and I know this won't help to ease the pain, but it's the least I can do.

WEEK THIRTEEN, NOMINATIONS

Rule: Tonight, all nominations points are worth double their value. Jayfeather can't be nominated.

Superpower Holder: Scarletpaw

(outside after Shoalfoot's eviction)

Scarletpaw: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!? WHY IS SHOALFOOT GONE!?

Cinderpelt: Because she received the most votes, halfwit.

Scarletpaw: IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION! (punches)

Sorreltail: Nawwww, poor Scarlet! D:

Scarletpaw: If any of you need me, I'll be in my depression pod! (runs towards the depression pod) 

Willowpelt: BAAAAAAAAAAA! I'M A SHEEP!

Darkstripe: Don't let her get in to the depression pod! She'll never come out!

Brightheart: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (runs to guard depression pod)

(in the bedroom)

(Brightheart is guarding the depression pod)

Scarletpaw: (slaps Brightheart) Let me in!

Brightheart: (gasp) LE SLAP! (slaps) 

Sorreltail: No, if we let you in, you'll never go out!

Scarletpaw: I don't care! 

Jayfeather: Gru.... grumpeh grumpeh grumpeteh grump!

Brightheart: Jayfeather's right! If you cut yourself off from the house, we'll be forced to nominate!

Scarletpaw: Do it! I want to be evicted so I can see Shoalfoot again!

Everyone: (gasp)

Darkstripe: Scarletpaw, we are not letting you in the depression pod.

Scarletpaw: Don't make me run you over with a bulldozer!

Cinderpelt: Do it then, run us over with a-

(Scarletpaw runs over everyone with a bulldozer and jumps in to the depression chamber)

Cinderpelt: Bulldozer.

Big Brother: All housemates, to the lounge.

(Everyone but Scarletpaw goes to the lounge)

Big Brother: Scarletpaw, that means you too.

Scarletpaw: I'm not leaving! I'm depressed!

Big Brother: (sigh) Fine. (throws Scarletpaw's laptop in the depression pod) I'll just have to Skype you. What's your Skype name?

Scarletpaw: scarletthesconelover71

Big Brother: Okay, I'll add you on Skype. (adds Scarletpaw) Sent the request.

Scarletpaw: Accepted.

(in the lounge)

Big Brother: Housemates, it's time to nominate. Tonight, there are two rules: Once again, Jayfeather cannot be nominated as he has a free pass to the final 5. 

Cinderpelt: (falls to knees) WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?

Big Brother: And also, nomination points are worth DOUBLE their value! That means you have 10 points to nominate 2 cats tonight! 

Everyone: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Big Brother: Now, as you know, Shoalfoot was evicted last night-

Scarletpaw: STOP REMINDING ME! (wails)

Big Brother: Anyway, she has a superpower to give out. So here she is.

(Shoalfoot appears via video link)

Shoalfoot: Hi guys- (gasp) WHERE IS SCARLETPAW!? D:

Scarletpaw: Here! I'm hearing all this through Skype!

Shoalfoot: Why aren't you in the lounge? D:

Scarletpaw: Because ever since you left, I got depressed and am in the depression pod! D:

Shoalfoot: But... But I gave you the superpower! D:

Scarletpaw: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I'm still depressed though.

Big Brother: Every cat, go to the nominations room. Scarletpaw, when everyone's gone, I'll tell you what your superpower is.

(everyone leaves to the nominations room)

Big Brother: Okay, Scarletpaw, your power is: You can choose one cat to have normal value nomination points. That means they'll only have 5 points to nominate with tonight.

Scarletpaw: Um... Well, Cinderpelt then. 

Big Brother: Done. Now, I'm taking the computer to the nominations room so you aren't lonely.

Scarletpaw: Okay.

(in the nominations room)

Big Brother: Hm... Willowpelt will nominate first. Willowpelt, to the chamber.

(Willowpelt speeds in)

Willowpelt: BLUE, RED, GREEN, FACE! HAVE A KITTEN DRESSED IN LACE!

Big Brother: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Nominate now! Remember you have 10 points tonight!

Willowpelt: 9 POINTS TO DARKSTRIPE BECAUSE HE'S ANNOYING AND HE'S THE DARKEST STRIPE TO EVER STRIPE!

Big Brother: And I am the biggest Brother to ever accept. You have one point left.

Willowpelt: FOR 1 POINT I NOMINATE BRIGHTHEART FOR BEING THE...

Big Brother: Let me guess: "The brightest heart to ever heart?"

Willowpelt: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (bolts out of the chamber)

Big Brother: Guess I have to accept then.

Table:

DARKSTRIPE 9

BRIGHTHEART 1

Cinderpelt 0

Scarletpaw 0

Sorreltail 0

Willowpelt 0

Jayfeather 0

Big Brother: Scarletpaw, I'm going to take the laptop in to the chamber so you can nominate. (brings laptop in to chamber) Nominate now.

Scarletpaw: 5 to CINDERPELT for not caring about Shoalfoot's eviction.

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 5 points left.

Scarletpaw: And 5 to DARKSTRIPE for trying to stop me from entering the depression pod.

Big Brother: Accepted.

Table:

DARKSTRIPE 14

CINDERPELT 5

BRIGHTHEART 1

Scarletpaw 0

Sorreltail 0

Willowpelt 0

Jayfeather 0

Big Brother: Cinderpelt, to the chamber. (a reminder that Cinderpelt has FIVE points to nominate with, not ten.)

(Cinderpelt enters)

Big Brother: Cinderpelt, nominate now.

Cinderpelt: For 8 points I nominate SCARLETPAW. ME HATETH HER SO MUCHLY!

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 2 points left.

Cinderpelt: 2 to WILLOWPELT, because I don't trust her. I think she's forming an alliance with Scarletpaw.

Big Brother: (facepalm) You've got to be kidding me...

Cinderpelt: I'm serious!

Big Brother: Fine. Accepted.

(Note: Scarletpaw will have 4 points added to her tally, and Willowpelt one.)

Table:

DARKSTRIPE 14

CINDERPELT 5

SCARLETPAW 4

Brightheart 1

Willowpelt 1

Sorreltail 0

Jayfeather 0

Big Brother: Darkstripe, to the chamber.

(Darkstripe enters)

Big Brother: Nominate now.

Darkstripe: For 7 points I nominate SORRELTAIL because I hate her and because she has an alliance, which is dangerous at this time in the game.

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 3 points left.

Darkstripe: For 3 points I nominate WILLOWPELT because she's in an alliance with Sorreltail.

Big Brother: Accepted.

Table:

DARKSTRIPE 14

SORRELTAIL 7

CINDERPELT 5

Scarletpaw 4

Willowpelt 4

Brightheart 1

Jayfeather 0

Big Brother: Jayfeather, to the chamber.

(Jayfeather enters)

Big Brother: Jayfeather, nominate now.

Jayfeather: Grumpeteh grumpus grumpsauce de grumpeteh grumpeteh grump grump. Grumpy grumpus grump. Grumpeh grump.

Big Brother: For 7 points you nominate BRIGHTHEART because she's a threat?

Jayfeather: (nods)

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 3 points left.

Jayfeather: Grumpeh grumpeteh grump. De grumpus grump, grumpehteh a la grump.

Big Brother: 3 to WILLOWPELT because she's insane?

Jayfeather: (nods)

Big Brother: Accepted. Why didn't you nominate Cinderpelt?

Jayfeather: Grumpeteh grumpus grump.

Big Brother: You want to beat her in the final two, I see.

Table:

DARKSTRIPE 14

BRIGHTHEART 8

SORRELTAIL 7

WILLOWPELT 7

Cinderpelt 5

Scarletpaw 4

Jayfeather 0

Big Brother: Sorreltail, to the chamber.

(Sorreltail enters)

Big Brother: Sorreltail, nominate-

Sorreltail: 9 to DARKSTRIPE!

Big Brother: Far out, that was quick. Accepted. You have 1 point left.

Sorreltail: 1 point to SCARLETPAW becaause she's depressed and I think she wants to go home.

Big Brother: Accepted. 

Table:

DARKSTRIPE 23

BRIGHTHEART 8

SORRELTAIL 7

WILLOWPELT 7

Cinderpelt 5

Scarletpaw 5

Jayfeather 0

Big Brother: Finally, Brightheart, to the chamber.

(Brightheart enters)

Big Brother: Brightheart, nominate now.

Brightheart: For 8 points I nominate SCARLETPAW because I think she doesn't want to be here anymore. 

Big Brother: Fair enough. Accepted.

Brightheart: For 2 points, I nominate WILLOWPELT because she's kinda... insane, plus, she came back, and I'd be peeved if she beat me after that.

Big Brother: Accepted. Nominations are over. All housemates, to the lounge.

FINAL TABLE:

DARKSTRIPE 23

SCARLETPAW 13

WILLOWPELT 9

Brightheart 8

Sorreltail 7

Cinderpelt 5

Jayfeather 0

(in the lounge)

Big Brother: Housemates, as you know, Scarletpaw had the superpower. Her power was that she could make one housemate's nomination points normal value, meaning they had 5 points, not 10, to nominate with.

Everyone: (gasp)

Darkstripe: What an awesome superpower! D:

Big Brother: I will now reveal the cats nominated and the number of points they received. On 23 points, DARKSTRIPE.

Darkstripe: I freakin' knew it.

Big Brother: On 14 points, SCARLETPAW. 

Scarletpaw: If I wasn't in the depression pod, I'd go there now! D:

Big Brother: And on 9 points, WILLOWPELT.

Willowpelt: BAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! I ATE ALVIN AND HIS CHIPMUNKS! 

Brightheart: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! ALVIN! D:

Big Brother: Darkstripe, Scarletpaw, Willowpelt, at the end of the week, one of you WILL be evicted. That is all.

WEEK THIRTEEN, DAILY SHOW (Ft. Blossomfall, Jetfeather and Shoalfoot)

(Scarletpaw is sitting in the depression pod)

Scarletpaw: Oh, how I miss my dear Shoalfoot! Now, I shall lie here untill I am evicted from the-

(there are 3 small thumps on the depression pod door)

Scarletpaw: What's that?

(Darkstripe is throwing a tennis ball at the door)

Scarletpaw: GET OUT! I'M TRYING TO BE DEPRESSED HERE!

Darkstripe: Killjoy...

(leaves the room)

Darkstripe: I wonder what's going on in the kitchen?

(in the kitchen)

Sorreltail: (is dancing with an ice-cream) Ice cream! Ice cream! La, lala, la, lalala, la, lala, la, lalala, lalalalala!

Brightheart: (to Cinderpelt) She's gonna drop it.

Cinderpelt: (giggles)

Sorreltail: Ice cream! Ice cre- (trips and falls. The cone smashes in half and the ice cream falls on the floor.)

Brightheart: Called it!

Darkstripe: OWNED!

Jayfeather: (runs in) Grumeph grumpeh grump! (starts licking the ice-cream)

Sorreltail: Bad Jayfeather! My ice cream! (throws Jayfeather against the window)

(the window smashes)

Cinderpelt: All right, Sorreltail!

Brightheart: WAIT! What time is it?

Willowpelt: WOODPECKER!

Brightheart: Wh... What?

Cinderpelt: It's about 7:30, why?

Brightheart: CRAP! AMERICAN IDOL'S ON IN 5 MINUTES! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!

(everyone but Scarletpaw sprints to the lounge)

(in the lounge)

Brightheart: AMERICAN IDOOOOOOOL! (sprints on to couch and turns the TV on)

(American Idol starts)

Willowpelt: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sorreltail: Shhhh!

Willowpelt: CHAINSAW MONKEYS FLYING UPSIDE DOWN IN A TUTU!

Darkstripe: SHHHHHHHH! We're trying to watch American Idol!

Willowpelt: ORANGE HANDBAGS!

Cinderpelt: Somebody put her outside?

Jayfeather: Grumeph grumpeh grump! (grabs Willowpelt)

Willowpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (struggles madly)

Jayfeather: Grumpeeeeeeh! D:

Brightheart: I CAN'T HEAR AMERICAN IDOL! (picks Willowpelt up and boots her like a football. She lands outside)

Cinderpelt: Shut the door before she runs back in!

Willowpelt: (charging towards the door) I AM THE GARGOYLE CHIP! YOU WILL NEVER STOP ME!

Darkstripe: (slams the door)

Cinderpelt: Thank StarClan!

Sorreltail: Thankyou, StarClan!

Cinderpelt: I didn't mean literally, you halfwit.

Sorreltail: Oh.

Willowpelt: (scratches at the door)

Brightheart: Everyone try to ignore it!

Willowpelt: (scratches louder)

Brightheart: Keep ignoring it!

Willowpelt: (scratches even louder)

Brightheart: SHUT UP! I CAN'T HEAR AMERICAN IDOL! (locks WIllowpelt in a fridge and boots it to the bottom of the pool.)

Darkstripe: Is she going to be okay?

Sorreltail: It's Willowpelt!

Brightheart: SHUT THE (bleep) UP!

Cinderpelt: I'm so glad Thrushpelt isn't here right now.

Jayfeather: Grump?

Cinderpelt: Nicki Minaj is on the TV screen. He'd be licking it right now.

Brightheart: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU!?

Sorreltail: Everyone shut up! The first performance is on.

(the TV shuts off)

Everyone: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Brightheart: THE POWER WENT OUT! D:

Darkstripe: No it didn't. (turns light on) See?

Jayfeather: GRUMPEH GRUMPETEH GRUMPEH!

Cinderpelt: Jayfeather, shut up. He can't understand you. BIG BROTHER! 

Big Brother: Yes'm?

Cinderpelt: THE TV BROKE!

Big Brother: No it didn't. I switched it off.

Sorreltail: WHY?

Big Brother: Because I want Scarletpaw out of that stupid pod! And the TV isn't going back on until you get her out!

Brightheart: YOU DOUCHE!

Sorreltail: TO THE BEDROOM!

(Everyone charges to the bedroom)

(in the bedroom)

Brightheart: (charging towards the depression pod) Get out of there, you monster!

Scarletpaw: AAAAAAAAAAAH! (curls up in to a ball at the corner of the depression pod and hisses)

Darkstripe: Dude, you have to come out of there, or else Brightheart won't be able to watch American Idol, and then she'll get cranky!

Scarletpaw: I don't care! I'm depressed!

Cinderpelt: Um, Scarletpaw, take my word for it. You don't want to see Brightheart when she's cranky. Now,  get out of that stupid pod!

Scarletpaw: It's not stupid, and NO!

Cinderpelt: Well, I see you leave me no other choice...

Scarletpaw: What... What are you doing?

Cinderpelt: Sorreltail! The baseball bat, if you please?

Sorreltail: Here you are! (hands baseball bat)

Cinderpelt: Why thankyou... DIE DEPRESSION POD! (whacks it with a baseball bat)  WHY WON'T IT BREAK?

Scarletpaw: Because it's reinforced glass, you douche. Now, go away! I'm trying to be depressed!

Cinderpelt: Reinforced glass? What will we do?

Jayfeather: Grumpus grumpeteh grumpeh! 

Brightheart: Willowpelt! We forgot all about her! If anyone can break reinforced glass, it's her! Where is she again?

Jayfeather: (facepaw)

Darkstripe: You locked her in a fridge and put it at the bottom of the pool.

Brightheart: Right. Sorreltail, go get her out.

Scarletpaw: It's not going to work! I got this Willowpelt-proofed.

Brightheart: We'll see about that..

(15 minutes later)

Willowpelt: BAHAAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHA! IT'S TIME FOR THE BULLDOZER!

Scarletpaw: I keep telling you it won't work!

Brightheart: WIllowpelt?

Willowpelt: (charging towards the pod) I AM THE SWAN FLAVOURED GOOSE OF DUCK LAND!! (tries to bite the pod) IT WON'T BREAK!

Sorreltail: (straps rocket powered missile to Willowpelt's back) Try again.

Willowpelt: (charges back to the entrance) LIGHT ME!

Cinderpelt: (lights the missile)

Willowpelt: (goes flying towards the pod) A WOODPECKER IS SECRETLY A CARROT WITH WINGS!!!

(Willowpelt hits the pod, but it doesn't break. Instead, she bounces off and crashes in to the wall, tearing a massive hole in it.)

Brightheart: This really is Willowpelt proof! D:

Sorreltail: We need a new plan!

Scarletpaw: Whatever it is, it won't work.

Brightheart: Oh, won't it, now? We'll certainly see about that! EVERYBODY, OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM!

(the other housemates leave the bedroom)

(outside)

Brightheart: Okay, what's Scarletpaw's favourite food?

Sorreltail: Scones?

Cinderpelt: No, we need something different. I tried to bring her scones before, but she didn't want them. 

Jayfeather: Grumpeh grumeph grump?

Brightheart: What was that?

Jayfeather: (sighs and hands Grump-English dictionary to Brightheart)

Jayfeather: Grumpeh grumpeh grump?

Brightheart: She likes pizza? What kind of pizza?

Jayfeather: Grumpeteh grump!

Brightheart: Hawaiian pizza! We'll order that in and eat it in front of her! She'll have to come out! Cinderpelt, go ring up Domino's!

Cinderpelt: (picks up the phone) Hello, Domino's? Yes, can we get a family sized Hawaiian pizza delivered to the Big Brother house? Okay. see you then. (hangs up)

Darkstripe: What happened?

Sorreltail: (knocks Darkstripe out) No! Tell me first!

Cinderpelt: They're bringing the pizza over in about 20 minutes.

Brightheart: (laughs) This is gonna be fun!

(20 minutes later)

(doorbell rings)

Willowpelt: (barks like a dog)

Brightheart: Willowpelt! Down, girl!

Willowpelt: (keeps barking)

Brightheart: Stop it or you'll go in to the basement!

Willowpelt: (shuts up)

Darkstripe: (opens the door) Hello! Are you here with our pizza?

Blossomfall: That depends. Did you order a (checks notebook) Thin crust Hawaiian pizza?

Sorreltail: (grabs pizza) Yes we did. Thank you!

Blossomfall: Right, that'll be $20 thanks.

Brightheart: $20? We don't have that money!

Blossomfall: Well, then, give the pizza back.

Brightheart: Oh Willowpelt?

Willowpelt: (starts chasing Blossomfall) EAT THE CHICKENS, YOU COW HATER! 

Blossomfall: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! (sprints in to car and drives off)

Cinderpelt: Since when can a cat drive a car?

Sorreltail: Who cares? We have free pizza! Willowpelt, come back!

Willowpelt: (charges in to the door) RUN, CHILDREN! RUN FOR THE HILLS!

Brightheart: Right, now let's see if this plan works! (In deliberately loud voice) Oh, this Hawaiin pizza tastes absolutely lovely! Don't you think so guys?

Everyone: (in deliberately loud voices) Oh yes! This is delicious!

Scarletpaw: (from the bedroom) Oh, come on! You guys ordered Hawaiian? Can I have some?

Darkstripe: Not unless you come out and get some!

Scarletpaw: I can't leave! I'm depressed!

Cinderpelt: Well, too bad!

Jayfeather: (points at pizza) Grumeph (points at bedroom) grumpus le grump?

Cinderpelt: What are you trying to say, Jayfeather?

Jayfeather: (points at pizza) Grump (points at bedroom) Grumpeteh (points at mouth) grumpus!

Brightheart: Jayfeather, you aren't suggesting that we eat it in front of her, are you?

Jayfeather: (nods) 

Brightheart: Oh, Jayfeather, I like your style! (laughs) Let's go!

(they run to  the bedroom)

(in the bedroom)

Willowpelt: WOODPECKER POTATO HONEY!

Scarletpaw: What do you guys want now?

Cinderpelt: (comes in with the pizza) We were going to give you a slice...

Scarletpaw: (purrs) Aw, guys! That's sweet. Thanks.

Sorreltail: But then we thought it would be funnier if we ate it in front of you, because then you'd come out of the pod to get some. So we're going to do that.

Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Everyone: (eats pizza in front of her) This is delicious!

Jayfeather: Grumpeh grumpeh grump!

Scarletpaw: (throws teacups at them) GET OUT! GET OUT ALL OF YOU!

Everyone but Willowpelt: AAAAAAAH! (runs out of the room)

Willowpelt: IF I WERE A BONE, I'D BE AN AWESOME BONE! (sprints out of the room)

(outside the bedroom)

Cinderpelt: Okay, that failed miserably.

Sorreltail: We need a new plan!

Jayfeather: Grump-

Brightheart: Jayfeather, you had your plan and it failed, so shut up. Anyway, new plans, anyone?

Willowpelt: WE SHOULD DANCE IN TOMATO SUITS!

Brightheart: No.

Darkstripe: I have an idea!

Sorreltail: You can't have an idea! It's illegal for you to have an idea!

Darkstripe: No it's not!

(the door bursts open)

Police Officer: POLICE! DON'T MOVE!

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAH!

Police Officer: Darkstripe, you're under arrest for having an idea! (places handcuffs on Darkstripe)

Darkstripe: NUUUUUUUUUUU!

Cinderpelt: Well, I guess it is illegal.

Brightheart: DON'T. YOU. DARE. LEAVE. WITH. DARKSTRIPE!

Sorreltail: Are you kidding? This is the best thing to ever happen to me!

Brightheart: Listen right here, you stupid Twoleg cops, I'm missing American Idol because Big Brother turned the TV off until Scarletpaw gets out of the depression pod. So, if Darkstripe has an idea that might work, we are going to listen to it. And no stupid Twoleg cops will stop us!

Police Officer: Right. Um... We'll be off then. Bye-bye! 

Darkstripe: The handcuffs?

Police Officer: Oh, Right. (takes handcuffs off)

(the Police Officers leave)

Sorreltail: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! MY ONE CHANCE TO BE RID OF DARKSTRIPE FOREVER WITHOUT GOING TO JAIL IS GONE! D:

Brightheart: Darkstripe! Idea! Now!

Darkstripe: Okay, what I was saying was: Maybe, just maybe, instead of trying all these wacky, time consuming ideas, we should just offer her a cup of tea and some scones?

Brightheart: (gasp) LE GENIUS!

Sorreltail: No... It's a bad idea!

Jayfeather: (roundhouse kicks Sorreltail)

Brightheart: Thanks, Jayfeather.

Cinderpelt: (is jumping up and down excitedly and clapping) Can we carve smiley faces in to the scones?

Darkstripe: Yes we may! Any more questions?

Willowpelt:(raises paw)

Darkstripe: Yes?

Willowpelt: FRUITCAKE TOMATO!

Darkstripe: Any real questions?

Brightheart: (raises paw)

Darkstripe: Yes?

Brightheart: I don't know how to make scones...

Cinderpelt: That's a statement, you moron.

Darkstripe: (massive facepaw) Fine! We'll google it. Cinderpelt, will you-

Cinderpelt: Already done.

Darkstripe: That was fast...

Cinderpelt: I was already on my laptop.

Darkstripe: Whatever. To the kitchen!

Everyone but Darkstripe and Scarletpaw (jumps in portal)

Darkstripe: The kitchen is right there!

Everyone but Darkstripe and Scarletpaw: But this is more fun!

Darkstripe: You guys are a bunch of weirdos. (runs to kitchen)

(in the kitchen)

Darkstripe: Okay, let's make scones!

(Jetfeather appears)

Jetfeather: I have the feeling this is going to be boring, so we're having a TIME SKIP!

Jayfeather: GRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP! D:

Jetfeather: I love being evil! xD

(Jetfeather claps her paws together and a time skip portal appears. She shoves everyone in it)

Everyone: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (falls in to the portal)

Jetfeather: You may thank me later. (disappears)

(20 minutes later)

(the time skip portal opens and all the housemates fall out)

Everyone but Scarletpaw: AAAAAAAH! (thud)

Cinderpelt: The scones! OMSC, where are the scones!

Brightheart: (holds up scones) LE HERE!

Sorreltail: Please stop saying that...

Brightheart: LE WHY?

Sorreltail: Because I LE SAID SO!

Darkstripe: To the bedroom! (runs off)

Willowpelt: FANGIRLING IN A TOMATO SOUP CAN! (runs to bedroom)

(in the bedroom)

Jayfeather: Grumpeh gruuuuuuump! 

Scarletpaw: (massive sigh) What on earth do you want now?

Darkstripe: (enters with tea and scones) We made you some scones and a cup of tea!

Scarletpaw: No thanks.

Darkstripe: (drops tea in shock) Wh-wh-wh-what?

Scarletpaw: I don't feel like scones or a cup of tea at the moment.

Everyone: (shocked gasp)

Sorreltail: (falls to knees dramatically) THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END! D:

Willowpelt: FANCY ANTS WILl DANCE IN PANTS!

Sorreltail: I CAN FEEL THE EARTH SPLITTING OPEN!

Willowpelt: (singing like Beyonce) IF I WERE A CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! I WOULD MEOW LIKE A CAT!

Sorreltail: (backhands Willowpelt) Will you shut up? I'm trying to be dramatic here!

Darkstripe: Please continue.

Sorreltail: I CAN FEEL THE EARTH SPLITTING OPEN!

(the room splits. Jayfeather falls through the crack in the ground)

Jayfeather: (is thrashing about madly) GRUMPETEH GRUMPETEH GRUUUUUUUUUUMP! D:

Cinderpelt: What?

Jayfeather: I said help me, you stupid morons!

Sorreltail: I WAS BEING DRAMATIC!

Big Brother: Right. Sorry. (closes the gap. Jayfeather is stuck.)

Sorreltail: Uh... Big Brother?

Cinderpelt: No! Leave it!

Big Brother: Oh. Right. (opens the gap up again.)

Jayfeather: (scrambles out)

Scarletpaw: (laughing) That was the funniest thing I've seen all day!

Brightheart: WILL YOU COME OUT NOW!?

Scarletpaw: Still depressed. Sorry.

Brightheart: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Cinderpelt: Wait! I have an idea!

(out in the lounge)

Cinderpelt: I know what we can do!

Brightheart: Tell us already!

Jayfeather: Grumpeeeeeeeh! D:

Cinderpelt: Okay, what's the one thing making Scarletpaw depressed?

Willowpelt: PICK WILLOWPELT!

Cinderpelt: Yes?

Willowpelt: SHE'S BEEN EATING TOO MANY SHOALFOOTS! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Cinderpelt: Uh... Nooooo. Any other cat?

Darkstripe: She misses Shoalfoot!

Cinderpelt: So what are we going to do?

Darkstripe: Bring Shoalfoot back?

Cinderpelt: No. What a stupid idea! We're going to make a hologram of Shoalfoot!

Brightheart: And how exactly are we meant to do that?

Cinderpelt: With a hologram machine!

Sorreltail: But we don't have one.

Cinderpelt: Well, we'll have to buy one, won't we?

Sorreltail: And where will we get one?

Cinderpelt: We'll order one on Amazon!

Willowpelt: I HAVE AN AMAZON ACCOUNT!

Brightheart: What is it?

Willowpelt: WILLOWPELT IS EPIC BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Darkstripe: With all the spaces?

Willowpelt: AND THE EXCLAMATION MARKS!

Cinderpelt: I won't remember all that! Willowpelt, you copy and paste it in to the username thing.

AMAZON LOGIN:

Username: WILLOWPELT IS EPIC BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Password:

Sorreltail: Willowpelt, what's your password?

Darkstripe: How about we try: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Cinderpelt: O...kay!

AMAZON LOGIN:

Username: WILLOWPELT IS EPIC BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Password: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

LOGIN SUCCESSFUL

Brightheart: Hey, it worked!

Cinderpelt: (searches 'Hologram Machine.')

(1 result pops up)

Cinderpelt: I FOUND ONE! I FOUND ONE!

Brightheart: ORDER ITTTTTTTTTTT!

Jayfeather: Grumpeh! Grumpeteh Grumpus grumpeteh grump! (translation: Hurry! It's near the end of American Idol!)

Cinderpelt: (clicks 'Place order') NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Darkstripe: WHAT?

Cinderpelt: WE NEED A CREDIT CARD! WHO HAS ONE?

Sorreltail: I have a Debit card.

Cinderpelt: That'll have to do. Give it.

Sorreltail: How much is it?

Brightheart: $2062.62, But it doesn't matter!

Sorreltail: WHAT!? 

Brightheart: THINK OF AMERICAN IDOL! 

Sorreltail: Fine! But the winner has to give me that back.

Everyone but Sorreltail and Scarletpaw: Okay, okay!

Cinderpelt: (places order)

(doorbell rings)

Cinderpelt: That was quick!

(the housemates have brought the new Hologram machine inside) Darkstripe: So, how do you work this thing?

Cinderpelt: Read the instructions.

Darkstripe: I left my glasses in the bedroom.

Sorreltail: You don't wear glasses!

Darkstripe: BUT I DON'T WANT TO READ! D:

Brighthearrt: Fine! I'll read it! (snatches piece of paper away)

Darkstripe: (starts crying) But... I want to read it! D:

Brightheart: You just said you didn't!

Darkstripe: But now I do!

Brightheart: (sigh) Fine. (hands piece of paper to Darkstripe)

Darkstripe: "Hologram Machine. This is used to create 3-D, lifelike pictures of anything. To use, aim the lazer ray towards the thing you want to copy, then press the red button. You don't have to use the actual thing- pictures are fine. To get rid of the hologram, press the blue button."

Jayfeather: Grumpeh grumpeteh grumpus? (presses red button)

(the lazer ray fires at Willowpelt)

(a hologram Willowpelt is formed)

Cinderpelt: JAYFEATHER, WHAT DID YOU DO!?

Both Willowpelts: CHICKEN FLAVOURED BEEF COWS!

Darkstripe: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! TWO WILLOWPELTS!

Brightheart: KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT!

Jayfeather: (presses blue button)

Sorreltail: How does he know where the buttons are when he's blind?

(Both Willowpelts disappear)

Sorreltail: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Everyone else: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Sorreltail: BRING HER BACK! D:

(the original Willowpelt jumps out of the lazer ray)

Willowpelt: STRAWBERRY, RASPBERRY, BLUEBERRY!

Brightheart: Right. Now we need a picture of Shoalfoot.

Cinderpelt: Scarletpaw has one!

Darkstripe: To the-

Sorreltail: (tackles Darkstripe) NO! YOU WILL NOT SAY THAT AGAIN!

Darkstripe: Okay...

(everyone goes off to the bedroom)

(in the bedroom)

Scarletpaw: Why can't you guys just (bleep) off?

Cinderpelt: Woah! That wasn't needed, you (bleep)wit! Anyway, we need a picture of Shoalfoot.

Scarletpaw: Why?

Darkstripe: Because we do.

Scarletpaw: O...kay. (hands picture of Shoalfoot) There you go.

Darkstripe: Thanks! We'll be back in a bit!

(back outside the bedroom)

Darkstripe: WE HAVE THE PICTURE!

Brightheart: We know. We were there, idiot.

Darkstripe: (bleep) You.

Brightheart: No!

Darkstripe: Anyway, Jayfeather, fire up the lazer ray! (aims lazer ray towards Shoalfoot's picture)

Jayfeather: Grumeph grump! 

Cinderpelt: Jayfeather can't do it! His eyes are broken!

Jayfeather: GRUMPETEH! D:

Cinderpelt: (presses the red button)

(The lazer ray fires on Shoalfoot's picture)

(A Shoalfoot hologram is formed)

Shoalfoot Hologram: Konnichiwa! Namae wa Shoalfoot desu! O genki desuka? 

Cinderpelt: IT WORKED!!!!!!

Shoalfoot Hologram: What worked?

Cinderpelt: Brightheart, fill her in.

Shoalfoot Hologram: FIll me in on what?

Brightheart: Scarletpaw's depressed because she misses the real Shoalfoot, so you have to pretend to be the real Shoalfoot so she can get out of the depression pod long enough for us to burn it. Okay?

Shoalfoot Hologram: Got it.

Darkstripe: To-

Sorreltail: Don't you dare.

(in the bedroom)

Darkstripe: Hello again!

Scarletpaw: WHAT NOW!?

Jayfeather: Grumpus grumnpeh gruuuuump! (enters with Shoalfoot Hologram)

Scarletpaw: OMSC.... SHOALFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! (jumps out of depression pod and tacklehugs)

Shoalfoot: Scarletpaw! (purrs) Konnichiwa!

Scarletpaw: Konnichiwa! OMSC I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Brightheart: Burn it! Burn it!

Willowpelt: DUCK SAUCE WITH A FLAVOURED MINT! (burns depression pod)

Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! MY DEPRESSION POD! D: BUT SHOALFOOT'S HERE! YAY!

Cinderpelt: (presses the blue button)

(Shoalfoot Hologram disappears)

Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! YOU TRICKERS! IT WAS ONLY A HOLOGRAM! NOW I'M MORE DEPRESSED THAN EVER! D: (pulls out new depression pod and crawls in to that)

Brightheart: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Sorrreltail: How do you have two!?

Scarletpaw: Oh, didn't I tell you guys? When I bought the depression pod, they had a two for one sale on. 

Everyone but Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Voice from Outside: Everybody come outside! You too, Scarletpaw!

Scarletpaw: NO! I'm in the depression pod!

Voice from Outside: (sigh) Is there any other cat in there with you?

Sorreltail: We all are.

Voice from Outside: Sorreltail? Is that you?

Sorreltail: Yes.

Voice from Outside: Sorreltail, on Scarletpaw's depresion pod, there should be a digital lock that has a 4 digit code. Do you see it?

Sorreltail: Yes.

Voice from Outside: Enter the code: 5367.

Scarletpaw: HOW DOES THIS STRANGE VOICE KNOW MY CODE!? I ONLY TOLD IT TO SHOALFOOT! 

(Sorreltail enters the code. The door swings open)

Voice from Outside: Now bring her outside.

Sorreltail: WIllowpelt?

Willowpelt: (starts running towards Scarletpaw) BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BANANA SMOOTHIE WITH A CARROT!

Scarletpaw: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (runs outside)

(everyone else follows)

(outside)

Brightheart: What are we waiting for?

(Japanese music starts playing)

Darkstripe: Why is there Japanese music playing?

(Shoalfoot comes down on a flying kimono)

Shoalfoot: Konnichiwa! O genki desuka?

Everyone but Scarletpaw: Shoalfoot!

Scarletpaw: SHOALFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! (tacklehugs her) Wait, how do I know this isn't another hologram?

Shoalfoot: Jayfeather, go press that blue button.

Jayfeather: Grumpeh! (presses blue button)

(the hologram machine blows up)

Shoalfoot: Woah. Didn't see that coming.

Darkstripe: So that's what that red text in huge letters was.

Sorreltail: YOU IDIOTS! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

Brightheart: Burn the depression pod! Burn it! 

(Cinderpelt burns the depression pod)

Scarletpaw: Now that I know this isn't a hologram: SHOALFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! (tacklehugs her and starts licking her to death) I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!

Shoalfoot: You know I hate being licked! Why are you licking me?

Scarletpaw: Sorry, sorry, but I'm just so excited!

Shoalfoot: Scarletpaw, come with me. We're going to Disneyland in Tokyo!

Scarletpaw: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! (hops on to flying kimono)

Shoalfoot: Sayounara! (flies away)

Darkstripe: I wanna go to a Japanese Disneyland! D:

(the TV comes back on)

Brightheart: AMERICAN IDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! (sprints to the TV)

(American Idol has finished)

Brightheart:WHAT HAPPENED TO AMERICAN IDOL!?

Big Brother: It finished hours ago.

Cinderpelt: Uh-oh. Get ready to hide!

Brightheart: I... MISSED... AMERICAN IDOL! ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR! (starts breaking everything)

Big Brother: Stop breaking everything in my house!

Brightheart: (stops) This is your house?

Big Brother: Of course I do! Why do you think this is the only Big Brother house in the world to have a TV and internet connection in it?

Brightheart: Oh. BUT I'M STILL MAD! (breaks Cinderpelt's laptop)

Cinderpelt: Hey! D:

Brightheart: (goes to bite Sorreltail's debit card)

Sorreltail: Wait! Brightheart, something else might be on! Big Brother, what's on now?

Big Brother: ThunderClan's Next Top Model.

Sorreltail: No... Not that! Anything but that!

Darkstripe: Turn it off, quick! Before One-Eye comes on wearing a bikini!

(One-Eye comes on to the screen, wearing a bikini)

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Sorreltail: SCARRED FOR LIFE! D:

Brightheart: (breaks TV) I hate that stupid show!

Darkstripe: Thank StarClan that's over!

Jayfeather: Wait! Now we don't have a TV!

Everyone: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

WEEK THIRTEEN, CHALLENGE

.