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WEEK ELEVEN, NOMINATIONS

Rule: The housemates must draw one name out of a hat. The name they draw is the name of the cat they CAN'T nominate.

Superpower Holder: No superpower due to instant eviction last week.


(the housemates are sleeping peacefully)

(the alarm to wake them up goes off)

Cinderpelt: SHUT UP! (whacks alarm)

Scarletpaw: The poor alarm! D: (whacks Cinderpelt)

Cinderpelt: Hey! What was that for?

Scarletpaw: You know why.

Cinderpelt: Yeah, I do.

Brightheart: It's so quiet! Too quiet...

Shoalfoot: What ever do you mean, oh half-faced one?

Brightheart: Shut up! What I mean is, by now Willowpelt would be going mental waking us up, but now she isn't here.

Thrushpelt: Who's cmplaining? Not me.

Sorreltail: (gets up) I could really go for some coffee.

Scarletpaw: Oh, could you get me a cup of tea? And a scone please?

Jayfeather: GRUMPEH GRUMP!

Sorreltail: What?

Jayfeather: Gumpy gump a la grump de gump?

Sorreltail: What?

Jayfeather: GRUMPEH! (points to picture of coffee)

Sorreltail: What? o.O

Darkstripe: I think he wants a cup of coffee too.

Jayfeather: (nods)

Sorreltail: Oh!

Brightheart: I miss Willowpelt...


(30 minutes later)

Sorreltail: (singing) Ooooooooooh I love you my coffee, my coffee, my dear! I love you, you're tasty, you're tasty, you are! I got you tea, Scarletpaw!

Scarletpaw: YAY! (drinks tea)

Sorreltail: I've been waiting for this...

Big Brother: All housemates to the lounge, and no coffees allowed.

Sorreltail: (throws coffee at Big Brother) (bleep) YOU! I was looking forward to that coffee!


(in the lounge)

Big Brother: Housemates, it's time to nominate. There is no superpower this week due to Aquasplash and Willowpelt both going.

Everyone: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: Anyway, with the new week comes a new rule! When you enter the chamber, you will draw a cat's name from a hat. The cat you draw is the cat you cannot nominate!

Scarletpaw: D::::::: But I could draw Cinderpelt

Cinderpelt: And I could draw Jayfeather!

Thrushpelt: I could draw Brightheart!

Sorreltail: I could draw Darkstripe!

Shoalfoot: I'm hated by no one!

Cinderpelt: (slaps)

Shoalfoot: Okay, maybe someone. 

Big Brother: Everyone to the nominations room.


Big Brother: Jayfeather will nominate first.

(Jayfeather enters the chamber)

Big Brother: (presents hat) Draw a name out!

(Jayfeather does nothing)

Big Brother: Oh yeah, you're blind, I forgot. Well, do you want me to do it for you?

Jayfeather: (nods)

Big Brother: (draws name) You can't nominate... Brightheart!

Jayfeather: (wipes brow) Grump!

Big Brother: Nominate now. Wait, not yet. (gets out Grump-English dictionary) Now.

Jayfeather: Grumpeh de la grump grumpity grumpity grumpity grump grump grump!

Big Brother: For 4 points you nominate CINDERPELT because you hate her?

Jayfeather: (nods)

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 1 point left.

Jayfeather: Grumpity grump! Grump, grump, grumpy grump!

Big Brother: For one point you nominate SORRELTAIL for not making you a coffee when you asked for one?

Jayfeather: (nods)

Big Brother; Accepted!

Table:

CINDERPELT 4

SORRELTAIL 1

Brightheart 0

Darkstripe 0

Jayfeather 0

Scarletpaw 0

Shoalfoot 0

Thrushpelt 0


Big Brother: Cinderpelt, to the chamber

(Ciinderpelt enters)

Big Brother: (offers hat) Pick a name out of the hat and pass it to me!

Cinderpelt; (picks name out of hat and passes it to Big Brother)

Big Brother: You can't nominate.. Jayfeather!

Cinderpelt: (falls to knees) NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Crap, now I can't get up! Little help?

Big Brother: No, you have to nominate on the floor.

Cinderpelt: (bleep) you.

Big Brother: (laughs) I love this job! It's much better than the one I have at NightClan! Nominate now,

Cinderpelt: For 3 points I nominate SCARLETPAW because I hate her the second most!

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 2 points.

Cinderpelt: And 2 to her little sidekick SHOALFOOT.

Big Brother: Accepted.

Cinderpelt: Good. NOW (bleep)ING HELP ME UP!!!!!!!

Big Brother: Okay, okay! (picks Cinderpelt up)

Cinderpelt: Thankyou! (goes to leave)

Big Brother: Oh Cinderpelt? 

Cinderpelt: Yes?

Big Brother: I fogot something.

Cinderpelt: What?

Big Brother: (farts in her face) There you go!

Cinderpelt: EEEEEEEEEEW! (runs out of room)

Table:

CINDERPELT 4

SCARLETPAW 3

SHOALFOOT 2

Sorreltail 1

Brightheart 0

Darkstripe 0

Jayfeather 0

Thrushpelt 0


Big Brother: Brightheart, to the chamber

(Brightheart enters)

Big Brother: Draw a name out of the hat and pass it to me.

Brightheart: (draws a name out of the hat and passes it to Big Brother)

Big Brother: You can't nominate... Shoalfoot!

Brightheart: Oh, thank StarClan...

Big Brother: Nominate now.

Brightheart: For 4 points I nominate THRUSHPELT because I hate him!

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 1 point left.

Brightheart: For one point I nominate DARKSTRIPE because he's all Dark and stripey and just mysterious.

Big Brpther: That is to be expected, his name is Darkstripe, after all.

Brightheart: JUST ACCEPT IT!

Big Brother: Okay, okay.

Table:

CINDERPELT 4

THRUSHPELT 4

SCARLETPAW 3

Shoalfoot 2

Darkstripe 1

Sorreltail 1

Brightheart 0

Jayfeather 0


Big Brother: Sorreltail, to the chamber

(Sorreltail enters)

Big Brother: Pick a name out of the hat and pass it to me!

Sorreltail: Not Darkstripe, not Darkstripe! (picks name and gives it to Big Brother)

Big Brother: It's Scarletpaw!

Sorreltail: WOOOOOOOOOO!

Big Brother: Nominate now.

Sorreltail: 4 to DARKSTRIPE!

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 1 point left.

Sorreltail: It goes to Brightheart, because she's too quiet.

Big Brother: Accepted.

Table:

DARKSTRIPE 5

CINDERPELT 4

THRUSHPELT 4

Scarletpaw 3

Shoalfoot 2

Brightheart 1

Sorreltail 1

Jayfeather 0


Big Brother: Darkstripe, to the chamber

(Darkstripe enters)

Big Brother: Pick a name out of the hat and pass it to me. 

(Darkstripe picks a name out of the har and passes it to Big Brother)

Big Brother: You can't nominate Sorreltail!

Darkstripe: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- (deep breath) -UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: This is why I made this rule. Nominate now.

Darkstripe: 3 points to CINDERPELT because she seems to be liked by Sorreltail.

Big Brother: Accepted, even though that's harsh. You have 2 points left.

Darkstripe: 2 to SCARLETPAW because I don't think it's fair that she was allowed back in.

Big Brother: Dude, it was unfair that she was eliminated like that! Nomination declined!

Darkstripe: FINE! 2 TO SCARLETPAW BECAUSE SHE DRANK ALL MY ENGLISH BREAKFAST TEA!

Big Brother: Much better!

Table:

CINDERPELT 7

DARKSTRIPE 5

SCARLETPAW 5

Thrushpelt 4

Shoalfoot 2

Brightheart 1

Sorreltail 1

Jayfeather 0


Big Brother: Scarletpaw, to the chamber

(Scarletpaw enters)

Big Brother: Pick a name out of the hat and pass it to me.

(Scarletpaw picks a name out of the hat and passes it to Big Brother)

Scarletpaw: Not Cinderpelt, not Cinderpelt!

Big Brother: SUCKED IN! IT'S CINDERPELT!

Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! MY PLANS ARE RUINED! D:

Big Brother: Nominate now.

Scarletpaw: 3 points to BRIGHTHEART for being related to Cinderpelt!

Big Brother: That's harsh. 

Scarletpaw: Do I look like I care?

Big Brother: Accepted. You have 2 points left.

Scarletpaw: 2 to DARKSTRIPE because, when I drank all his tea, he seemed really cranky and he might nominate me.

Big Brother: Accepted.

Table;

CINDERPELT 7

DARKSTRIPE 7

SCARLETPAW 5

Brightheart 4

Thrushpelt 4

Shoalfoot 2

Sorreltail 1

Jayfeather 0


Big Brother: Shoalfoot, to the chamber

(Shoalfoot enters)

Big Brother: Pick a name out of the hat and pass it to me.

(Shoalfoot picks a name out of the hat and passesBr it to Big Brother)

Big Brother; You can't nominate Jayfeather! Nominate now.

Shoalfoot: 3 to CINDERPELT. 

Big Brother: Wow. Accepted. You have 2 points left.

Shoalfoot: 2 to THRUSHPELT because something tells me he's a threat.

Big Brother: Accepted. 

Table:

CINDERPELT 10

DARKSTRIPE 7

THRUSHPELT 6

Scarletpaw 5

Brightheart 4

Shoalfoot 2

Sorreltail 1

Jayfeather 0


Big Brother: Finally, Thrushpelt, to the chamber.

(Thrushpelt enters)

Big Brother: Pick a name out of the hat and pass it to me.

(Thrushpelt picks a name out of the hat and passes it to Big Brother)

Big Brother: SUCKED IN! IT'S BRIGHTHEART!

Thrushpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: Nominate now.

Thrushpelt: 3 to CINDERPELT because she's related to Brightheart.

Big Brother: Why does everyone keep doing that? Accepted.

Thrushpelt: 2 to SORRELTAIL because she's a threat.

Big Brother: Accepted. Nominations are over. All housemates, to the lounge.

FINAL TABLE

CINDERPELT 13

DARKSTRIPE 7

THRUSHPELT 6

Scarletpaw 5

Brightheart 4'

Sorreltail 3

Shoalfoot 2

Jayfeather 0


(in the lounge)

Big Brother: I will now reveal the cats nominated and the number of points they received. On 13 points, CINDERPELT.

Cinderpelt: D::::::

Scarletpaw: REVENGE SHALL BE MINE!!!!

Big Brother: On 7 points, DARKSTRIPE.

Sorreltail: OMSC YES!

Big Brother: And on 6 points, THRUSHPELT!

Thrushpelt: Seriously? What is this, the fifth time now?

Brightheart: Fourth.

(Everyone looks at Brightheart)

Brightheart: What? I keep count!

Big Brother: Cinderpelt, Darkstripe, Thrushpelt, at the end of the week, one of you WILL be evicted. That is all.

WEEK ELEVEN, DAILY SHOW

AFTER THE NOMINATIONS

Brightheart: I'm bored! Is anyone else bored?

Sorreltail: Yep!

Darkstripe: What can we do?

Shoalfoot: LET'S HAVE A PARTY JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT!

Scarletpaw: I have a better idea...

Shoalfoot: What?

Scarletpaw: GIANT MARSHMALLOW FIGHT! (throws a giant marshmallow at Shoalfoot)

Shoalfoot: (falls over) Ow! Oh, you are so dead! (throws a giant marshmallow at Scarletpaw)

(Scarletpaw ducks. It hits Cinderpelt)

Cinderpelt: WHO, THREW. THAT!?

Shoalfoot: (points at Scarletpaw) Her!

Scarletpaw: Remind me to kill you tomorrow.

Cinderpelt: Never mind, I'm gonna hiit Jayfeather. (starts throwing tonnes of marshmallows at Jayfeather)

Jayfeather: GRUMPEEEEEEH! D: (falls through wall)

Thrushpelt: D:::::::::::: How could you do that to a blind cat, you murderer!?

Cinderpelt: Dude, chill. I didn't even kill him. He just fell.

Thrushpelt: NEVER FEAR, JAYFEATHER! I WILL AVENGE YOU! (throws giant marshmallow at Cinderpelt)

(Cinderpelt ducks. It hits Brightheart)

Brightheart: THRUSHPELT!!!!! (charges after him)

Thrushpelt: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (runs outside)

Darkstripe: Hey Sorreltail!

Sorreltail: What?

Darkstripe: (throws marshmallow at her)

Sorreltail: (is absorbed in the marshmallow)

Darkstripe: OWNED!

Big Brother: Everyone, go to bed right now.

Shoalfoot: But we're having fun! D:

Big Brother: Bed. Now.

Brightheart: And if we don't?

Big Brother: (plays Justin Bieber music)

Everyone: We're going, we're going!


THE NEXT MORNING

Thrushpelt: (stretches and yawns) Good morning every- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(everyone wakes up)

Brightheart: (hits Thrushpelt in the head with a baseball bat) What's going on?

Thrushpelt: The house... it's gone!

Cinderpelt: It can't be gone!

(high pitched scream)

(everyone looks)

Scarletpaw: (is shaking vuolently) No tea.... No tea. I need my tea! Can't live without tea...

Shoalfoot: We need to find her some tea!

Darkstripe: We need to find out what happened to the house!

Jayfeather: GRUMPEHTEH GRUMP.

Shoalfoot: We need to find some tea for Scarletpaw before she dies!

Cinderpelt: Who cares if she dies?

Shoalfoot: (blows up Cinderpelt)

Darkstripe: No, we need to find out where the house is!

Cinderpelt: We need to put me back together!

Sorreltail: Fine. (puts her back together)

Shoalfoot: ATTENTION EVERYONE!

(everyone looks)

Shoalfoot: Everyone who wants to help me find tea for Scarletpaw, stand next to me. Everyone who wants to look for the house, stand near Darkstripe.

(everyone goes over to Darkstripe)

Shoalfoot: D:

Darkstripe: Well, have fun finding tea ON YOUR OWN!

Shoalfoot: (bursts out crying) Why does everyone hate Scarletpaw?

(Shoalfoot and the group go off in seperate ways)


(Shoalfoot is looking for tea)

Shoalfoot: Tea? Where are you, tea?

Tea: Over here!

Shoalfoot: Where?

Tea: Here!

Shoalfoot: Where?

Tea: HERE!

Shoalfoot: I know you're here, but where's here?

Tea: HERE!

Shoalfoot: WHERE THE HECK IS HERE!? 

(barrel floats down with a sign that says: THIS BARREL HAS TEA IN IT)

Shoalfoot: Oh, there it is!

(looks in barrel)

Shoalfoot: Wait a minute, there's no tea in here! D:

Mysterious Voice: BOOM! YOU JUST GOT TROLLED, SHOALFOOT!

Shoalfoot: D:::::::::: 

How could this happen to me?

I've made my mistakes

Got nowhere to run,

The night goes on as I'm fading away

Scarletpaw: LOOK FOR THE DARN TEA!

Shoalfoot: Right, right, I'm doing it. 

(runs to the left)

Tea: I wasn't in the barrel, silly! I'm over here!

Shoalfoot: WHERE ARE YOU!? D: Dang it, I'm so lost! I wonder how Darkstripe's doing?


(camera flashes to the rest of the housemates)

Thrushpelt: (looks under rock) House?

Brightheart: (looks in barrel) House?

Jayfeather: (is walking around aimlessly) Grumpeh? Grumpeh grump?

Cinderpelt: Jayfeather, go left a bit. 

(Jayfeather goes  left)

Cinderpelt: Now turn right.

(Jayfeather turns right)

Cinderpelt: Now run as fast as you can!

(Jayfeather runs and faceplants in to a brick wall)

Jayfeather: D::::::::

Thrushpelt: HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO A BLIND CAT!? (punches Cinderpelt)

Cinderpelt: D:

Brightheart: Um, guys? In case you haven't noticed... WE'RE MEANT TO BE LOOKING FOR THE FREAKING HOUSE!!!!! Now, get searching!

Cinderpelt: Right. (looks in a box of cheese) House?

Darkstripe: (walks to the edge of a cliff and looks down) House?

Sorreltail: Must... Resist... Urge.... Oh, the chance is too great! (pushes Darkstripe off)

Darkstripe: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Ooh, a trampoline!

Sorreltail: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Darkstripe: (bounces back up) Thought you could kill me, huh, Sorreltail? (lands back up the top of the cliff and throws her off)

Sorreltail: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Ooh, a trampoline! 

(Sorreltail misses the centre and hits her head on the side of the trampoline)

Darkstripe: OWNED!

Sorreltail: A little help?

Thrushpelt: No! We're too busy looking for the house! (looks inside freezer) House?

Sorreltail: SOMEONE HELP ME! I FOUND THE HOUSE!

Brightheart: OMSC Where, where, where?

Jayfeather: GRUMPEH GRUMP!!!!!

Sorreltail: I'll only tell if you help me back up!

Brightheart: CINDERPELT! THE HOIST!

Cinderpelt: Ma'am, yes ma'am! (grabs hoist)

(Sorreltail is hoisted back up)

Thrushpelt: Now, where's the house?

Sorreltail: I never found it! XD

Thrushpelt: (pushes her back down)

Darkstripe: (bursts out crying) It's hopeless! We'll never find the house! 

Jayfeather: Grumpeh grumpus grump!

Darkstripe: It is hopeless! I bet Shoalfoot's having better luck than us!


(back to Shoalfoot)

Scarletpaw: (zombie like moan) Tea..

Shoalfoot: I'm looking, hang in there!

Scarletpaw: (zombie like moan) Tea...

Shoalfoot: I said I was looking!

Scarletpaw: (zombie like moan) Tea...

Shoalfoot: I HEARD YOU THE FIRST MILLION TIMES! SHUT UP!

Scarletpaw: (bursts out crying)

Shoalfoot: (starts crying) I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it!

Tea: Hey! Hey, Shoalfoot!

Shoalfoot: What do you want, tea? Why can't you just tell me where you are?

Tea: Okay, I'll tell you.

Shoalfoot: WHERE ARE YOU!?

Tea: In that box right beside you.

Scarletpaw: How did we not see that?

Shoalfoot: (looks) Which one? There's two.

Tea: The one with the skull and crossbones that says "DO NOT OPEN OR YOU WILL DIE."

Shoalfoot: Oh! That one! (opens the box)

(a ton of fireworks come out)

Shoalfoot: WE'RE GONNA .DIE!!!!!!!!! D:

Scarletpaw: Shoalfoot, before we die, I want you to know: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOU, I WILL ALWAAAAAAAYS- Oh, they went in to the sky.

Shoalfoot: (looks in the box) TEA!

Tea: That's me!

Scarletpaw: GIMMIE IT! GIMMIE!

Shoalfoot: Oh, Scarletpaw, it's Australian Afternoon tea, does that matter?

Tea: Oh, that is racist!

Scarletpaw: I DON'T CARE! JUST GIVE IT TO MIE! JUST GIVE IT TO ME, SHOALFOOT! GIVE IT TO ME!

Shoalfoot: Ew, no! How could you even suggest- ew!

Scarletpaw: I mean give me the tea, you dirty minded cat!

Shoalfoot: Oh. Awkward.

Scarletpaw: (drinks the tea) Okay, now I'm feeling epic! Let's go back and meet the others! I wonder how they went?


(back to the others)

Thrushpelt: I can't believe we haven't found the- Oh, guys, look! A pretty fireworks display!

(everyone looks)

Sorreltail: Woah...

Darkstripe: That's so awesome!

Brightheart: Hey, I thought you were crying because you failed at finding the house?

Darkstripe: (bursts out crying again) It's so unfair!

Jayfeather: Grump! D:

Thrushpelt: Well, guys, I think we should go back to where we were and see if Scarletpaw got her tea!

Everyone: Yeah!


(back at where the housemates first woke up)

(Shoalfoot and Scarletpaw are waiting for the housemates)

Shoalfoot: I wonder when they'll be back?

Scarletpaw: Do you think they found the house?

Shoalfoot: I hope so!

(the rest of the housemates come towards them)

Scarletpaw: Hey, who are those cats walking towards us?

Shoalfoot: It's the others!

Scarletpaw: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

(the others return)

Shoalfoot: Did you find the house? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Jayfeather: (shakes head)

Darkstripe: We looked everyone!

Sorreltail: We're gonna be stuck out here forever! D: (starts crying)

Tea: Hey guys!

Brightheart: OMSC IT TALKS! 

Scarletpaw: What is it, tea?

Tea: Turn around! XD

(everyone turns around)

Brightheart: Woah, dude, we're right next door.

Thrushpelt: You mean to tell me we've been RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO THE HOUSE this entire time!?

Scarletpaw: TO THINK I NEARLY DIED!

Cinderpelt: I bet Big Brother had something to do with this!

(the housemates storm back in to the house)

Cinderpelt: BIG BROTHER! GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!

Big Brother: Yes'm?

Cinderpelt: Would you have had anything to do with that?

Big Brother: (starts cracking up laughing) You should've seen the looks on your faces! You were all like: "OMSC, WHERE'S THE HOUSE!?" Oh My Gosh, that was so funny! I should've been recording that! Oh, wait, it WAS recorded! This is gonna make for some brilliant ratings! That was the ULTIMATE TROLL!

Scarletpaw: I can't believe you did that to me! I nearly died!

Big Brother: (still laughing) SO FUNNY! XD 

(Big Brother leaves the room)

Sorreltail: All of us agree we're getting revenge on him next week?

Everyone: Agreed!

Scarletpaw: (faints)

Shoalfoot: Oh My StarClan, Scarletpaw!

Scarletpaw: (zombie like moan) Tea...

WEEK ELEVEN, CHALLENGE

(the housemates wake up)

Sorreltail: It feels so good to be in our house again!

Darkstripe: Yeah! Even if I have to be in the same room as you for more than 5 seconds...

Sorreltail: (kicks him off the bed)

Darkstripe: (claws the sheet) NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (falls off) 

Brightheart: LOL!

Darkstripe: Aw, you made me rip my sheets! D:

Scarletpaw: Anyone up for tea?

Cinderpelt: You did this already this week...

Scarletpaw: Oh, did someone speak?

Shoalfoot; Nope!

Cinderpelt: D:

Scarletpaw: Anyone want tea?

Jayfeather: ME!

Thrushpelt: o.O He spoke English...

Jayfeather: Of course I did! I don't only speak grump, you know.

Big Brother: No time, my housemates! Time for the challenge!

Jayfeather: GRUMPEH GRUMPEH GRUMP!!!


(outside)

Big Brother: Welcome. one and all to the song-writing contest!

Sorreltail: Huh?

Big Brother: Song writing.

Sorreltail: Huh?

Sorreltail: SONG WRITING!

Sorreltail: Huh?

Big Brother: Forget it. Anyway, the aim of the challenge is to write and then sing a song. I will be the sole judge of who wins. Actually, that will be boring, so I'm bringing in a second judge! Please welcome AQUASPLASH!

Scarletpaw: Aw, crap.

(Aquasplash appears)

Aquasplash: SCARLETPAW! I HATE YOU! I WANNA KILL YOU! (charges after her)

Big Brother: (tasers) Guards! Take her away! We're having someone else!

(the guards take Aquasplash away)

Big Brother: Right then. Please welcome our new judge, LEAFPOOL!

(Leafpool appears)

Leafpool: Good evening, aspiring songwriters!

Big Brother: The rules are simple. No stealing other peoples' songs, no swearing. The song may be any genre you like. Winner faces the four cases of doom, loser gets an unusual punishment. Go! Write your songs!

(half an hour later)

Big Brother: Contestant #1! Brightheart!

(Brightheart walks on to stage with a guitar)

Leafpool: Oh, darling, that guitar is so fabulous!

Brightheart: I know, right?

Big Brother: What's  your song called?

Brightheart: Swift.'

Big Brother: Sounds interesting. Take it away.

(Brightheart starts playing)

Brightheart:

Swiftpaw!

This is a song about Swiftpaw!

Do you have a swift paw, Swiftpaw?

I love you because... Nothing rhymes with Swiftpaw.

Let's hope, Let's hope Cloudtail doesn't hear this.

Hear this, see this, or read this.

'Cause that would be really awkward.

I'M IN LOVE WITH SWIFTPAW!


(both judges clap)

Big Brother: Great song!

Leafpool: Honey, I love you, but you can't sing. 

Brightheart: D: 

Big Brother: (whispers) Leafpool, don't tell her, but I'm gonna.

Brightheart: What are you doing?

(small ping)

Brightheart: What did you do?

Big Brother: I JUST SENT THAT TO CLOUDTAIL!!!!! XD

Leafpool: OWNED!

Darkstripe: Hey! That's my line!

Brightheart: NUUUUUUUUUUUU!


Big Brother: Here's contestant number two, Scarletpaw!

(Scarletpaw walks on to stage)

Leafpool: Who the heck is this?

Scarletpaw: Rude!

Big Brother: Her name's Scarletpaw. Before you ask, she won a competition to get on here.

Leafpool; Right. And here I was thinking this show was called Big Brother: ThunderClan, but it must be called Big Brother: Just Sign A Form And We'll Put You On Here No Matter If You're ThunderClan or not. Who's gonna come on next, Blackstar?

Blackstar: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! MY SECRET PLANS ARE RUINED! D:

Big Brother: Right... Moving on. What's your song called Scarletpaw?

Scarletpaw: It's A Wonderful Day For Tea,

Big Brother: You sang that in the talent show last week.

Scarletpaw: Do I look like I give a (bleep)?

Big Brother: Fine. If you must.

(the music plays)

Scarletpaw:

It's the most wonderful drink of them all

Tea is so great, you can have it in a cup big or small!


Tea!

Tea is so great!

It's a wonderful time for tea!

Anytime is a great time when you drink your tea!

Have a drink right noooooooow!

Drink, drink, drink!

DRINK YOUR TEA NOW, I SAY!

There is no time to waste!

DRINK. YOUR. FREAKIN' TEA!


I'm sure, by now, you will all agree

It's a wondeful time for tea!

So, follow me, 

Throw your teapot in the air and shout with glee,

(throws teapot in the air)

IT'S A WONDERFUL TIME FOR TEA!

(catches teapot)


(Big Brother and Leafpool stand up and clap)

Big Brother: WOO-HOO! Not only can you write, you can SING!

Leafpool: Someone sign her right now! That could become the new Gangnam Style!

Brackenfur: (shocked gasp) Nothing will replace Gangnam Style! Nothing! (Gangnams away)

Big Brother: Someone tell me why random cats appear, say one line and then leave?

Leafpool: (shrugs)

Big Brother: Thanks for that, Scarletpaw! Contestant #3 is Thrushpelt!

(Thrushpelt walks on to stage)

Big Brother: Hi Thrushpelt! What's your song called?

Thrushpelt: Taylor and I.

Leafpool: Take it away honey, the stage loves you!

Thrushpelt: I'm in a relationship!

Stage: D:

(the music starts)

(to the tune of 'I Knew You Were Trouble')

Thrushpelt:

Once upon a time, many moons ago,

I was Taylor's pet, she was my owner,

We were so in love,

Nothing could tear us apart

We were so in lo-o-o-o-o-ove.

Then Harry came in,

and ruined everything

The little British boy who crused all my dreams

I hate him, I hate him, I hate hi-i-i-i-i-im.

He ruined our love.

You just left me.

I can't believe you would do that to me.


I knew he was trouble when he walked in.

Shame on you, Taylor!

You fell for him when you had me,

What happened to our love?


OH! OH! I still love you, Taylor!

OH! OH! Where did our love go?


(Big Brother and Leafpool clap)

Big Brother: That was... creepy.

Leafpool: Honey, Taylor made a song with that exact tune!

Thrushpelt: But...

Big Brother: The singing was off tune, too.

Thrushpelt: But...!

Leafpool: Honey, that was bad. You're in serious danger of losing. I'm sorry.

Thrushpelt: D:


Big Brother: Here's contestant #4, Jayfeather!

(Jayfeather walks on to stage)

Leafpool: OMGGGGGG MY JAY JAY! I LUFFLES YOUUUUUUU! (tacklehugs)

Jayfeather: Ow... Get off me!

Big Brother: Leafpool! Control your mother stuff!'

Leafpool: (is embarrassed) Oops... What's your song, Jayfeather?

Jayfeather: The Grump Song.

Leafpool: Sounds interesting!

Big Brother: Take it away!

(the music starts)

Jayfeather: (in death metal voice)

GRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP!

Big Brother: (raises eyebrows)

Leafpool: EEEP! (hides behind table)

Jayfeather:

GRUMPETEH, GRUMPETEH GRUMP!

GRUMP! GRUMP! GRUMP!

GRUMPEH, GRUMPY GRUMP! GRUUUUUUMP!

GRUMPETEH GRUMPETEH! GRUMPETEH GRUMP!

GRUMPETEEEEEEEH!

GRUUUUUUUMP!

GRUUUUUUMP!

GRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP!


Big Brother: Wow... I... How can you do that?

Jayfeather: Grumpeh le grump!

Big Brother: English please!

Jayfeather: I don't know. Just can I suppose.

Big Brother: Well it was epic! Leafpool?

(Leafpool is still shivering with fear and hiding under the table)

Big Brother: Leafpool, it's over now! 

(Leafpool climbs back on to her chair)

Leafpool: That was really scary. How dare you scare your own mother, Jayfeather?

Jayfeather: (starts wailing like a kit) I'M SORRY! D:

Leafpool: I may have been scared, but that was epic!

Jayfeather: (wipes sweat from brow) Phew! You had me scared there!

Leafpool: I think you could win!

Jayfeather: GRUMPEH GRUMPEH GRUMP!!!!

Big Brother: -_-


Big Brother: Here's contestant 5, Shoalfoot!

(Shoalfoot walks on to stage wearing a kimono)

Big Brother: (dies laughing)

Shoalfoot: (glares)

Leafpool: And who might this be?

Shoalfoot: Konnichiwa! Watashi wa Shoalfoot Chan. O Namaewa desuka? O genki desuka?

Leafpool: Huh? o.O

Shoalfoot: I asked you what your name was and how you were in Japanese. Idiot.

Leafpool: I'm Leafpool, and I'm okay. I'm not an idiot! Idiot.

Shoalfoot: I AM NOT AN IDIOT!

Leafpool: Don't tell me... You won the same comp as Scarletpaw?

Shoalfoot: Hai.

Leafpool: Huh?

Shoalfoot: Forget it. Idiot.

Leafpool: I AM NOT AN IDIOT!

Big Brother: LADIES! What's your song called, Shoalfoot?

Shoalfoot: Kawaii. Before you ask, that's 'cute' in Japanese.

Big Brother: Take it away.

(the music starts)

Shoalfoot:

He is more kawakii than any tom I've seen,

He makes my heart race.

He makes me purr and makes me happy.

He is... kawaii.

Kawaii, Kawaii, hai, hai, hai!

The tom is kawaii!

What's his name?

What's his name?

His name is Tom,

and he's a cat.

But he is not just any cat.

He's not just a cat to meeeeeeee

He... is.... KAWAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Yeah!


Leafpool: Idiot.

Shoalfoot: D:

Big Brother: Yeah, Shoalfoot, that was awful. It was just awful.

Shoalfoot: How?

Big Brother: The song was awful. The lyrics were worse than Friday, and the singing was all over the place!

Shoalfoot: I hate you!

Leafpool: Idiot...


Big Brother: Here she is, contestant six, Sorreltail!

(Sorreltail walks on to stage)

Leafpool: SORRELEH! MAH BESTEST BUD!

Sorreltail: LEAAAAAAFPOOOOOL! (tacklehugs) OMSC!

Big Brother: If we could get on with things, that'd be great.

Leafpool: But... we're in the middle of a reunion!

Big Brother: And we have a one hour timeslot!

Leafpool: Fine... What's your song called, honey?

Sorreltail: I Love Cake.

Big Brother: We all love cake. Take it away.

(all this is rapped)

Sorreltail:

I love cake, it's so delicious

It makes me salivate even though it's not nutritious!

It comes in many flavours, it tastes so sweet.

It's my favourite treat.

Even when it's overcooked, I can't resist its tastyness.

Even if it's undercooked, I can't stop eating it.

Warm or cold, it warms my soul.

Sometimes I eat it in slices, sometimes I eat it whole.

Even if it makes me fat, I don't care.

I don't care because...

I love cake, I love its taste.

Every single piece makes me salivate.

I love even more than I love Brackenfur.

Whenever I get cake, I never, ever share.

People ask me; "Why?" and I say to them.

I LOVE CAKE!


Leafpool: (is salivating) Cake...

Big Brother: You made me love cake even more. Good job! (throws cheesecake)

Sorreltail: (high-pitched squeak) CAAAAAAAAAAAKE! (dives at it and starts eating it)

Leafpool: Now, honey. go eat your cake off-stage.

(Sorreltail runs off stage with her cake. In her haste, she trips and drops the cake. The cake goes flying and lands in an incinerator.)

Darkstripe: OWNED!

Sorreltail: (cries loudly)


Big Brother: Here's contestant seven, Cinderpelt!

(Cinderpelt walks on to stage)

Leafpool: OMG CINDER BABY! I LOVE YOUUUUUUU! (tacklehugs)

Cinderpelt: I LOVE YOU MOREEEEEEEEEE!

Big Brother: LEAFPOOL! Get back here!

Leafpool: (sadly walks back to her chair)

Big Brother: What's your song called?

Cinderpelt: I'm doing a cover of As it Seems by Lily Kershaw.

Big Brother: You're meant to write your songs, Cinderpelt.

Cinderpelt: Killjoy. Anyway, my song is called Jayfeather Hater.

Leafpool: D:::::::::: WHO COULD HATE MY JAY JAY!?

Cinderpelt: Have you even followed this season?

Leafpool: No!

Big Brother: Take it away, Cinderpelt.

(the music starts)

Cinderpelt:

Here's a story about a cat I hate

His name is Jayfeather

I don't hate him because he's blind,

I hate him because... Well, I don't know,

But here's one thing I do know,

I hate Jayfeather more than I've ever hated anyone in my life,

Jayfeather, you suck! I hate you Jayfeather.

I'm a Jayfeather hater!

A Jayfeather hater!

I hate Jayfeather!

A Jayfeather hater!

I don't hate him 'cause he's blind.

I hate him because he doesn't like me.

It took me all song to figure this out

He's such a whimp.

He took offence to me throwing stuff at him

And now, because of this, I'm a Jayfeather hater.

Jayfeather hater!

A Jayfeather hater!

Jayfeather hater!

Jayfeather hater!

A Jayfeather hater!

Jayfeather hater!

(In whistle register)

A JAYFEATHER HATER!


(Fpr those who don't know what whistle register is, get a life. Or, you could listen to this this or this (be warned that last one is insanely high. I mean, really, really high. Anyway, back to the show.)

Big Brother: (falls off chair)

Leafpool: How can you hit that? 

Cinderpelt: (shrugs) Just can.

Big Brother: That was amazing! The vocals were amazing!

Leafpool: But the song sucked! How could you be mean to my Jay Jay?

Big Brother: Wait, you haven't watched Big Brother?

Leafpool: Nope.

Big Brother: Get out of this house!

Leafpool: But there's one more act!

Big Brother: Fine. Come out, Darkstripe.

(Darkstripe walks on to stage)

Leafpool: Well, well, well. If it isn't the cat who tried to poison my Sorrely with deathberries!

Darkstripe: How do you know about that? You weren't even born!

Leafpool: I STALK BLUESTAR ON TWITTER!

Darkstripe: But she died before you were born.

Leafpool: FIRESTAR THEN!

Big Brother:  What's your song called?

Darkstripe: Anvil.

Big Brother: O...kay. Continue.

(the music plays)

Darkstripe:

A-N-V-I-L

THAT SPELLS ANVIL!

Anvils are so fun!

They're like, so anvily!

They're metal thingies and they feature in Minecraft!

ANVILS!

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

I like to cuddle up to one at night.

Anvils are even more awesome than Tigerstar,

I'd like to be led by Anvilstar

ANVILS!

ANVILS ARE SO AWESOME!

A-N-V-I-L SPELLS ANVIL!

ANVILS!

ANVILS!

ANVILS!


Big Brother: (dies laughing)

Leafpool: (smirking) Honey, that was... (smirks again) That was just awful! (dies laughing) I'm sorry! This is too funny! (falls off chair)

Big Brother: (is still laughing) What a stupid song! XDDD

Darkstripe: (cries)

Big Brother: (laughs even harder)

Darkstripe: How could you disrespect anvils?

Leafpool: Honey, listen. That was really, really bad. You have no talent. (starts laughing again) Anvils!! XD

Big Brother: (is still laughing) Oh My Gosh, that is just so funny! I can't stop.... (falls to the ground in a fit of laughter)

Leafpool: Big Brother... We'd better tell them the results.

Big Brother: Right. Just let me calm down... (takes some deep breaths) Right, housemates, here are the resul- (starts laughing again)

Producer: (taps foot) Big Brother!

Big Brother: Go to an ad break! ANVILS! XDD


(half an hour later)

Big Brother: Right, I think I'm over it now. Okay, housemates, it's time to announce the winner and the loser! After a lot of debate, Leaftail and I came down to a final 3 for the winners and a final 2 for the losers. The final 3 for the winners were... Jayfeather, Cinderpelt and Scarletpaw. Step forward.

(the three step forward)

Big Brother: And the final 2 for losers... Shoalfoot and Darkstripe.

Shoalfoot and Darkstripe: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: We decided that the winner was... Jayfeather!

Jayfeather: (shocked gasp) Grump?

Leafpool: Yes, you, Jay Jay!

Big Brother: Jayfeather, go stand over there. Shortly, you'll take part in the Four Cases of Doom.

(Jayfeather doesn't move)

Big Brother: Oh, right, you have no idea where 'over there' is. Take 2 steps forward and 8 steps left.

(Jayfeather goes and stands where Big Brother wanted him to stand)

Big Brother: Okay, now for the loser. We decided, by a clear mile, the loser was... Darkstripe!

Darkstripe: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Sorreltail: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Big Brother: And now for your punishment. This is gonna be awesome! Do you want to tell him, Leafpool?

Leafpool: (laughs) Get this., You have to rebuild the pool from Season One in time for next weeks' challenge!

Darkstripe: A week! That's impossible! What if I don't get it done?

Leafpool: That's the best part! If you don't get it done in time, you get evicted!

Darkstripe: NUUUUUUU!

Big Brother: And you have to fill it up with water!

Darkstripe: NUUUUUUUUUU!

Sorreltail: (evil smile)

Darkstripe: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!


(over at the four cases of doom)

Big Brother: Righto, Jayfeather! It's time for the Four Cases of Doom! One case contains the power to pick all 3 of next weeks' nominees, one contains the key to the luxury room, where a feast is waiting, one contains a direct pass to the final 5, and one contains INSTANT EVICTION! Which case do you want?

Jayfeather: 2!

(Big Brother opens the case)

Big Brother: You got... THE FREE PASS TO THE FINAL FIVE! CONGRATULATIONS!

Jayfeather: WOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Cinderpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!


WEEK ELEVEN, EVICTION

Voice-over: Hello and welcome to the LIVE EVICTION! Please welcome your host, DAISY!

(Daisy walks on to stage, wearing sunglasses)

Daisy: Hello every- wait, why am I wearing sunglasses? (smashes them) That's better!

Producer: Daisy! They cost $50,000,000!

Daisy: LOL, YOU WERE OVERCHARGED!!  XD

Producer: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Daisy: Now, where was I? Oh, yes, hello every cat and welcome to the LIVE EVICTION! Who's going to go? Will it be CINDERPELT and her stupid leg?

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO!

Daisy: Will it be DARKSTRIPE and his anvils?

Crowd: YAAAAAAY!

Daisy: Or will it be THRUSHPELT and... Whatever Thrushpelt has?

Crowd: (says nothing)

Daisy: Well, the voting lines shall tell us just that! Let's look at them!

Cat in crowd: No!

Daisy: LOOK AT THEM! (glares at cat)

Cat in crowd: O.... Okay! D: (looks at voting lines)

(Daisy crosses to the voting lines, they read:)

??? 33%

??? 32%

??? 35%


Daisy: OMSC THAT'S CLOSE! Well, here are the numbers you need!

Voice-over: To save...

Daisy: (slaps) NO! I WANNA DO IT!

Voice-over: But it's my job! D:

Daisy: I'M DOING IT!

Voice-over: Fine...

Diasy: To save CINDERPELT, dial 1902 55 71 03! Or SMS CINDERPELT to 161 661!

To save DARKSTRIPE, dial 1902 55 71 04! Or SMS DARKSTRIPE to 161 661!

To save THRUSHPELT, dial 1902 55 71 13! Or SMS THRUSHPELT to 161 661!

See you after the break!


(after the break)

Daisy: Welcome back! We're about to save the first cat.

Voice-over: I wanna do it!

Daisy: NO! That's my job!

Voice-over: But you did my job!

Daisy: NO! I'M DOING IT! (hisses)

Voice-over: I WANNA DO IT! IT'S MY TURN, CAMERA HOGGER!

Daisy: NO! YOU CAN'T DO IT BECAUSE YOU DON'T EXIST! YOU'RE JUST A STUPID VOICE-OVER!

Voice-over: (cries)

Producer: (gasp) Daisy! How dare you upset him? Voice-over, you can do it.

Voice-over: YAY! (glares at Daisy)

(Voice-over guy walks on to stage, revealling that he is a real person)

(Voice-over crosses to the house)

Voice-over: Hi house-

Cinderpelt: (points at screen and gasps) TWOLEG!!!

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (hides behind couch)

Big Brother: What's going on here? (looks at screen) Voice-over, go away! Bring Daisy back!

(Voice-over guy sadly walks off stage)

Daisy: (sticks tongue out at Voice-over guy and walks on to stage) Hi housemates!

(the Housemates return to the couch)

Housemates: Hi!

Shoalfoot: Konnichiwa!

Daisy: o.O

Shoalfoot: -_- 

Daisy: Anyway, it's time to save the first cat! After receiving the most amount of votes to SAVE, the cat that is definitely staying another week is... CINDERPELT!

Everyone: (shocked gasp)

Cinderpelt: Me? Really?

Daisy: No, I was joking. OF COURSE YOU!

Cinderpelt: YAAAAAAAAAY!


Daisy: Well, Cinderpelt's safe! Come back after the break where we'll find out if Darkstripe or Thrushpelt will be the next to go!


(after the ad break)

Daisy: Well, we're back! It's time to reveal the evicted cat! Will it be Thrushpelt or Darkstripe? We're about to find out!

(Daisy crosses to the house)

Daisy: Hello again!

Housemates: Hi!

Daisy: Well, let's get down to business. Darkstripe, Thrushpelt, one of you is just seconds away from leaving the Big Brother house. After receiving the LEAST amount of votes to save... It's time to go... THRUSHPELT!

Thrushpelt; NUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Brightheart: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

Thrushpelt: (kicks Brightheart in the head)

Brightheart: Ouchies! D:

Cinderpelt: Hey!

Big Brother: Thrushpelt, you have been evicted. You have 10 seconds to leave

Thrushpelt: D:

(doors open)

Thrushpelt: All of you are awesome except Brightheart!

Brightheart: Right back at you, fox-dung!

(Thrushpelt exits)


Daisy: Please welcome evictee number ten, THRUSHPELT!

(Thrushpelt walks on to stage)

Snowfur: (sprinting towards him) MAH THRUSHEH!

Thrushpelt: (sprints towards her) MAH SNOWEH!

(they collide)

Both: OUCHIES! D:

Daisy: (dies laughing)

Thrushpelt: It's not funny!

Daisy: Right, of course it isn't. Wanna see the voting lines?

Thrushpelt: Yeah!

(Daisy crosses to the voting lines, they read:)

DARKSTRIPE 33%

THRUSHPELT 32%

CINDERPELT 35%


Thrushpelt: Awww. D:

Daisy: Now, it's time to give out a-

(Thistleclaw comes on to stage)

Thistleclaw: You! How dare you steal my girlfriend? I SHALL KILL YOU! (charges at Thrushpelt)

Thrushpelt: NUUUUUUUUUU!

Snowfur: Thistleclaw, stop!

Daisy: AAAAAAAAH! (hides behind Producer)

(Thistleclaw continues charging)

Snowfur: Thistleclaw, I didn't wanna do this... SPLIT SPELL! (waves wand)

(Thistleclaw splits in two: His nice side and his evil side.)

Thistleclaw's Nice Side: Hello! I'm the nice side! How are you today?

Thistleclaw's Evil Side: I SHALL KILL YOU ALL, FOR I AM EVIL! MWAHAHAHA!

Thrushpelt: NUUUUUUUUUU! WHAT DO WE DO!?

Snowfur: I DON'T KNOW! D:

Daisy: TWO THISTLECLAWS? AAAAAAAAAAAH! (shoots Thistleclaw's Nice Side)

Thistleclaw's Nice Side: NUUUUUUUUUUU! (dies)

Thrushpelt: YOU SHOT THE WRONG SIDE!! D:

Thistleclaw's Evil Side: MWAHAHAHA! PREPARE TO DIE, WEAKLINGS! (advances slowly towards them)

Daisy, Snowfur and Thrushpelt: NUUUUUUU!

Producer: Hey! Paws off my host! (turns on vacuum cleaner)

Thistleclaw's Evil Side: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (is sucked up)

Everyone: YAAAAAAAAAY!

Daisy: Now, Thrushpelt, it's superpower time! Who's it gonna go to?

Thrushpelt: Hm... Jayfeather!

Daisy: Good choice! Well, folks, I'm Daisy and Thrushpelt has just been evicted. Good night every cat!

Thrushpelt: Good night!


It's that time of the season again! You get to VOTE A CAT BACK IN! Go here for the blog, and tune in to Big Brother: ThunderClan Season 2/Week Twelve to find out which cat goes back in!

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