Talk:Falling Winds/@comment-17759525-20140919020840

I'm starting to add comments for my contest.

SPOILERS

CHAPTER ONE

I'm pushing the first part of the story into this section of the comment.

I like your initial description of Darkwinds, although having a plural suffix in her name makes it sound a bit odd - I'm thinking Darkwind might sound better, although it's totally up to you and won't affect your score when I'm judging, either way. It's just a suggestion. But anyway, I like how you give some details about her past without outright saying "This is what happened."

Nettlepelt seems like an interesting character already as well. The way that she's so short-tempered with Darkpaw implies that there's something about Darkpaw that's just a bit off - like she misses patrols a lot, or isn't good at making friends, or something like that.

The appearance of this strange black cat, who I'm thinking might very well be a Dark Forest cat, puts an interesting spin, though it does seem like you're jumping just a little bit too much into the action of the story right at the beginning here. Still, though, there's a lot of potential in this.

You have a couple of small spelling mistakes, but nothing more. Good job so far :)

SPOILERS