Talk:We Can't Stay/@comment-7410018-20141027230847

Spoilers---

Holy crap Brights, that was really amazing. Your enthusiasm for writing the story really shone through by the way you wrote it. The pacing was perfect, and so was the plot. It wasn't too complicated, but wasn't too simple.

I really hated Gorsethorn from the beginning. I just thought he was pretentious at that point, but then I realized that there was something else at play. You did a really good job at building up the anticipation for the big reveal that Gorsethorn wasn't as good a cat as he initially comes off as. And I really ship StormXSmoke. Smokewhisp came off as a derp but a powerful and good cat at the same time (kind of like Neville from harry potter).

And your characters were really well developed, too, I noticed.

The only thing that I didn't really like was when Frogkit was killed, the fact that Stormshine thought that it was Fallowkit at first. Sure, it shows how much she actually cares about the kits, but it's also too much of a pull and tug on the emotions (which can be good when done right but it didn't work very well in that moment).

But over all, I really liked this, it kept me enthralled all the way through.