Talk:Veiled Love/@comment-25407144-20140919035425/@comment-8754209-20140919060043

Rubbish. Seperate your paragraphs and work on it MORE. Check out some amazing stories. Run through it and fix errors like 'classmates' - clanmates

spoilers

'Smokepelt. My name. A constant reminder of who I am, hidden forever, almost invisible to everyone in my clan. ' you say that's bad? That's a attention grabber for me!

Now get up and go write this story!