Deadheart's guide to dumb leaders

Lesson one!

Deadheart: Lesson one for my guide is dedicated to one of my enemies, who is a leader: DONT ATTACK RANDOM CLANS FOR NO REASON AND ESPECCIALLY NOT THE NURSEY BUTTHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!

okay then. Um...

Lesson two

Deadheart: Lesson two is for another enemy of mine who is a leader. There was once a different leader who did the same thing. Dear stupid leaders: Dontt give young cats who are kits and apprentices mean names like Lostface or DEADHEART!!!!!!

Bluestar: In my defense I was insane. Besides, Firestar changed her name.

Ravenstar: and stop with the yelling.

Lesson three:

Deadheart: this is another unfair thing Ravenstar did to me!

Ravenstar: Is this about Mistpaw?

Mistpaw: What about me?

Deadheart: Nothing. And yes, Ravenstar, IT IS!!!!! If two cats are being made warriors and there are two apprentices ready, give them to both warriors not to one's stupid father!

Braveheart: Im not even your father! Remember? Olivetail told you!

Deadheart: Who cares about some stupid ThunderClan? Still! ANY RANDOM WARRIOR!!!!

All: Stop yelling!

Deadheart: NO!!!!!!!!

all grumbling angrily

Lesson four!

Deadheart: When a cat who hates you invites you to go hunting, keep looking behind you or she will kill you! Also, hunting is for loooooserssss!

Ravenstar: You werentt doing it right! You attacked when I finished killing the mouse! Cats should do it when imm busy stalking the mouse!

Deadheart: You were hunting so youree a loooooossssseeeerrrrr

Ravenstar: Shut up.

Deadheart: NO!!!

Lesson five (I hate this job)

Deadheart: If you are a leader you need to be kind, caring and willing to fight for your clan even if it means Dying. You shouldntt be like Ravenstar, who-

Ravenstar: your are making me seem like a villan!

Deadheart: you are!

Ravenstar: no imm not! You are!

Deadheart: Die!

Ravenstar: I am dead!

Deadheart: die a second time! Anyways, Ravenstar ruined my life. After I killed him rose a new, nice leader. He gave me an apprentice and changed my name. He disrupted his own nine lives ceremony for me and my apprentice.