Talk:The Same Mind Of Forbidden Love/@comment-1829516-20160704203911

Just a few constructive comments here!

Spoilerish

To keep the story running smoothly, you should make sure each paragraph is in the same format as the last. As you can see, some chapters are clumped into huge paragraphs while others are separated so they're easier to read. As an example, chapter five is clumped while chapter six is separated.

There's also a lot of grammatical errors, you could ask a senior user or staff to try to edit this for you. There use to be an Editing Team on here but I'm not really sure what happened to them haha. Or you could just stick it into Word and see where that goes.

Description is also your best friends. Instead of everything being dialogue based, add some description of the surroundings and where they're going and the character's actions during the scene. It'll help the writing become more rich and more interesting for the reader. Bigger chapters full of description and action are better than just a few lines of dialogue.

Story wise, I like the idea of where it's going. Though I'm not sure about the plot yet, but this could easily be explained in the next few chapters.

End of Spoilers