Talk:Glowing Clouds/@comment-25531638-20131112070514

Hmm, this seems pretty interesting so far :) I like the whole idea of two siblings playing Truth or Dare, that's an interesting thing to read about. And I also like Worm's courage about crossing the train tracks. But "Worm" isn't a name that seems like any parent would give their kit, honestly.

There are a couple places where the grammar gets rocky as well. You miss a lot of commas in some of your sentences.

The only other thing that seems unrealistic is the amount of injuries the siblings seem to get from their dares... a lot of the time, if a cat in the wild breaks its leg, its unlikely it will survive. Those seemed a bit extreme, I would suggest toning it down a little.

But this is a really good start, and I can't wait to read more :)