Talk:Despair/@comment-8248793-20130918232119

SPOILER ALERT

As before, this is a sad, sad story. Hopefully, Star will still be around sometime, and Forest did come and visit ;)

Death is a very sad thing to write about, but you make seem like a hopeless dream. A little part of land that we cannot reach. This story is great.

I noticed your character screamed or shrieked a lot. It's kinda choppy, because I keep seeing, "I shrieked; I screamed; I screamed; etc.

Not all the chapters were short, and I understand that these are our beloved wikia friends. Now the triangles were a little creepy, and try not to nd every chapter with that. Say that they formed a triangle, and make a reaction. (not screaming xD)

I really like this, and I hope you get into how Dawny died, and write more. Though it'll mean more death to our wiki..........

END OF SPOILER ALERT