Talk:The Fight/@comment-8754209-20140918101218

I think this is brilliant so far! I'm going to give you some constructive critisim. (I can't spell today XD)

possible spoiler

This is mainly just dialouge so far, so you need to expand on the lines that are not dialouge. Try writing instead of 'The cats gathered around Finchstar', write 'The cats of ____Clan, some with kit-fuzz and some with wrinkles, slowly appeared like magic out of their dens. Mothers hushed their sweet, bouncy kits and...blah blah blah.' Expand, perhaps!

I think you need some punctuation, and capitalization. Every character and letter of the first sentence needs a capital.. Every paragraph has one sentence-you should aim for it being longer.

However, work hard on this, and it'll be perfect! The way I began to write better is when I looked at some amazing work and used theasaurus.com.

Perhaps read some amazing fanfics from Fiery, Blade, Midnight, Sayna, Brighty and many more to grab some wonderous tips.

All in all, I think this can be marvelous and that the idea of you working with your sister is adorable.