Talk:Dawn's Journey/@comment-24766822-20160225190131

SPOILERS

This is a very interesting start to a story, ShiningDawn! Is this your first story here? I noticed you are new here, so I was just wondering.

CHAPTER ONE

Can I just start by saying a love the name Skylight? <3

You know, I understand Skylight's anger. I bet it's absolutely heart-wrenching when a cat you love betrays you, especially if they fathered your kits. And now you have to deal with the kits looking just like your mate. However, I don't agree that she should have taken it out on Dawnkit, as many cats did on Tigerheart as a kit. Ah, the unfairness. :( My heart was out to Dawnkit on that one, but I couldn't help sympathizing the tiniest bit with Skylight.

Darkheart dying and Dawnkit coming into the world reminds me faintly of Wicked... have you seen it? If so, was that intentional? :D

CHAPTER TWO

And the sympathy for lovely Skylight all dwindles away... :(

I had a bit of doubt during the exiling ceremony. I find it hard to believe that a cat would exile a three-moon-old kit because of it's mothers wishes... aren't all kits supposed to be cherished? Aren't they gifts from StarClan? Perhaps things work differently in this Clan (group?) But hey, it's fanfiction. Exile all the kits you want. :) (It's still so sad though)

Wow, you'd think cats would give the kit a little slack. Instead, it's all like, "Oh, already?" "She deserves it." COME ON!!!! (punches those cats a million times and hugs Dawnkit <3 <3)

I'm not sure if that's the end of chapter two, but since this story is still very short, I'm going to end it with the technicals now. There were pretty much no spelling issues that I saw, and your grammar was pretty darn good. Good grammar and spelling really makes a story enjoyable.

Soooo... I'm really interested to see what happens next! Please write more soon! :D

END SPOILERS