Talk:Rolling Thunder/@comment-8248793-20140804234110

SPOILERS

I have to say, I only read the prologue yesterday and I wasn't quite interested. But I'm glad to say that when I read more today, you really pulled me in despite the constant grammarical mistakes.

-you spelled assess wrong in chapter seven with one less s in the back and that makes it look really awkward-

Okay just some friendly advice, every single time a new cat speaks, make a new paragraph so it's easier to read. You had this huge paragraph full of dialogue, and it's really confusing.(in the skyclan chapter)

I really like your descriptions, it's rather nice. Like how you described Sandstorm's despair "the joy drained from Sandstorm's face" the description of "drained" really emphasized on her sadness over Firestar's death, and it makes it more vivid.

Another advice is that if a character is talking and she quotes someone, use ' instead of ", that way you can tell it's a quote, not like a whole new person talking. You got me confused when Leafstar was quoting Sol I think.

Eek, so much huge paragraphs. It's also good if you separate some of the paragraphs into multiple ones because when they become big, some people wouldn't like to read those.

Other than that, I utterly love this series, and hopefully I will remember to read the next book! <3

END SPOILERS