Talk:Plenette Aggressive ways/@comment-26184789-20150411005120

Ok, this will be a lot better if:

You start a new line when a character speaks like this:

"I like pie" Bob said to Cheese.

"Yeah, well I hate pie" he muttered softly

Makes it seem more professional and less condensed in one area.

Also: add more detail. Like this:

The nursery was full of cries as she licked her two kit fur down. She looked at the kits, They both looked like her. She curled up as she stayed next to deanna. The kit let a sorry cry. She looked at Deanna

Change it to this (something like it)

The nursery was full of cries and wails as Plenette licked her two kit's fur down. She stared at the kits, they both looked just like her. She curled up and let her kits suckle as she stayed near Deanna. Deanna's kit let out a sorrowful cry. Plenette looked at Deanna

See? With more detail, it gets you more intruiged into the story.

Just a few tips :)

Great job, though. With some editing, this'll look awesome!