Talk:Burn Them All/@comment-24143898-20170113043744

I'll be commenting on this in sets of three chapters, so I'm gonna comment on the prologue/chapters 1 and 2 now, and the other three chapters a little later.

SPOILERS

Prologue, Chapter One and Chapter Two:

There's this suspense in the Prologue... which I like, as that's what I think a prologue should be like. I'm still not exactly sure what it is meant to be (haha...), but I believe it's LightClan burning some Kindling, judging from the later chapters. And 'it'... it is potentially Torch?? idk

Chapter One - it starts of kind of confusing in the first few lines?? but then it clears up, which is fine. I'm still to decide what I think of Torch, but so far she seems like a good character. Yellow, however, I really like (she totally doesn't remind me of Yellowfang - probably her name xD), and I'm super hoping she plays an important role in this as she just seems so... awesome. Yeah.

shoot the bone pit - what a not-very-nice name. I have a random theory that Smolder keeps Kindling bones there or something xPP. Smolder... hmm, idk what to think about him, but I'm curious as to his motives for trying to kill all of the Kindling.

Chapter Two - Ohhh Rock is so cute tbhhhhh. The spelling mistakes there look intentional (such as 'burnted') (except for one that's 'burneded' - not sure if that's intentional or just a mistake), and it gives across that, if I must say so myself. Even though he'll only be a minor character (I think?) I do hope he appears again.

'Smolder's takeover' WHAT DID SMOLDER DO. AND IS THIS WHY THEY DON'T HAVE PROPER CLAN NAMES? (except for Larkfang hahaha) Judging by the fact that Larkfang's the one remaining cat, this must've happened a little while ago (maybe?) - maybe Smolder's secretly old xD

The Kindling... hmm. Can they control their powers at all? I feel as though they can't control it, in some aspects. I'll need to see about that... aka comment on the next part later.

Apart from the things that I may have mentioned throughout the comment, I don't see anything else to improve so far c: Good work so far, Dog, and the High Goddess wants a fanlist for this :D.

END SPOILERS