Tallstar Advertizes 2!

''Hello! This is another spoof where Tallstar Advertizes! And tody he advertizes... His hardware store! Enjoy! 01:15, August 28, 2013 (UTC)''

Voice-over: Hello, and welcome to Tallstar's Hardware Planet! And here he is, TALLSTAAAAAAAAAAR!

Tallstar: Thank you, voice over! Hello, unluck... AHEM, I mean, Lucky customers! You have just landed on a planet FULL of all the tools and supplies you need! It's called Tallstar's Hardware Planet!

Mudclaw: You're seriousley advertizing again? What can I throw this time?

Tallstar: Certainly not this! (Grunts, strains, and manages to pick up a sledgehammer) This is what the Twolegs call a Sludgehammer! It makes sludge out of everything is smashes!

Snowkit: Wow! Can you demonstraight?

Tallstar: I sure can! I need a vollenteer!

Talking Stew: (Hops out of the jar) ME! ME! I SHALL VOLENTEER! I AM STARVING AND MUST LIVE ON CAT FLESH! KADFBLWKEGR;IUGFDJKzbCKJDBASFKUGSADFKLUGASDFHGSLKDFGEILRKSFGLISUAGDFI!!!!!!!!!

Tallstar: NO. YOU WERE IN THE LAST ADVERTIZEMENT. GO BACK TO MY FLAVORISTIC FOODS STORE!

Stew: NUUUUUUUUUU I SHALL NOT. NINJA BEEF STEWW! (Puts on a mask, divides up into tiny ninja warriors, and launches at Tallstar)

Tallstar: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (Puts on ninja mask) HIIIIIIIIIII YAAAAAAAAA! (Holds up a picture of Chuck Norris)

Stew: (And his ninja warriors) AAAAAAAAAUGH! CHUCK NORRIS! HES TOO AWSOME! AAAAAA MY EYES! HE'S ROUNDHOUSE KICKING ME WITH HIS FAAAAAACE! FAFHADFJLSFKJHLIUHRLKASJBHF! (Dissapears in a cloud of smoke)

Tallstar: He was already sludge anyway. Now, for a REAL volenteer, I pick Mudclaw!

Mudclaw: Wait... WHAAAAAT? NONONONO I DON'T WANT TO...

Tallstar: Too late! (Smashes the sledgehammer onto Mudclaw)

Mudclaw: NUUUUUUUU NOW I'M MUD SLUDGE!

Tallstar: THATS FOR THROWING A TOMATO AT ME!

Mudclaw: (Flops out the door) YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME, TALLSTAR! (Hopes on a rope ladder thrown down from a helicopter) MUAHAHAHAHAA!

Tallstar: Only 10 prey peices!

Snowkit: Uhhhhhhh... Firestar, can we leave?

Firestar: (Is smooching Sandstorm, when he freezes.) WE'VE BEEN SPOTTED! HURRY, MY SANDY WANDY JELLY BOO! WE MUST FLEE!

Sandstorm: SHNUCKUMS, WAIT! HOLD UP, MY LITTLE ROLLEY POLEY WITTLE FIREY BEAR! (Grabs Snowkit and bolts after Firestar)

Tallstar: I think we've seen enough caps lock, haven't we? Moving on... Here's a second tool! (Holds up a chainsaw) It's called a slice-a-dicer! It can help you cut wood, glass, steel... even fruitables! (Turns on a chainsaw and mauls a couple hundered tomatoes) DIE, FRUITABLES! (Laughs manically) Only 6 peices of prey! And when you buy two, you get them TRIPLE... yes, I said TRIPLE the price!

Kalestreak: (Leaves)

(Half the cats follow her)

Alright! The last thing I will show you is THIS! (Holds up a wire) Only all of your herbs!

Willowpelt: A STRIIIIIIIING! PURPLE POTATO TACOS IN UNICORN DUMPLINGS MADE BY BUNNY BANANAS!

Tallstar: You're supposed to be on BBTC! GO HOME.

Willowpelt: I AM THE QUEEN OF LEMON PIES! (Mauls the wire, all the cats get electricuted)

(Willowpelt bounds back to BBTC)

Tallstar: (Puffs out a cloud of smoke) Well, now, we've had an exciting introduction, haven't we? If you buy and ENTIRE SET of tools, you get a FREE SLICE-A-DICER!

Remaining cats: Really?! (Eyes wide)

Tallstar: A FREE SLICE-A DICER! YEP, A FREE SLICE-A DICER! FOR EIGHT PEICES OF PREY AND HALF YOUR POPPY SEEDS!

(Cricket noises)

Tallstar: What do you say? Buy at Tallstar's Hardware Planet today! (Bows) Thank you! Come again!

Birdcall: If I go to another one of these, slap me! (Leaves)

(All the cats leave)

Tallstar: (Cry) Everyone went to my Twoleg competition, the Home Depot! NUUUU! Wait... huh?

(Tallstar sees crickets, and they are clapping and cheering)

Tallstar: Meh. What have I got to loose? THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU ALL! YOU MADE ME WHAT I AM TODAY...

The End!