Talk:Clash of Honor/@comment-5488450-20130810112726



 SPOILERS

Nice, this episode was really tense and the death at the end was really saddneing. I like the way your charries are developing and I'm really excited that I don't have to wait for the rest of the series :D

A few things I might recommend are  slowing down . Some parts were really confusing, like the fight with Roanfur and that stuff at the beginning about Shard, her siblings and her mom as well as Snarl. I don't exactly get the state of the Clan and I'd have liked it if you controlled your tempo and stopped to describe things a lettle more :) Other than that, maybe a bit more description and slowing down the pace of the plot, alongside the writing, are my recmmendations. ANd maybe clearing up the times too-that confused me, because I don't understand  when  this is taking place...

Other than that, fantastic :3

 END SPOILERS

