Talk:Songpaw's Loyalty/@comment-5488450-20121219225739

M’kay, can I start by saying that I loved this before I even clicked the link you left on my page. I fell in love with it before you did. ;) And I was already a BushXSong, far before you linked that story on my page. Now, to my critique.

The prologue was distinct and the way you worded the words just felt… right… in a way I can’t explain. Like there was no better way to have made your prologue. None. Your words and the fluency as well as the perfect amount of dialogue for a prologue make it just perfect. Perfect.

Fireflower becoming Songpaw’s mentor? That was GENIUS. I love the way Fireflower is quick to change her mind about Songpaw after just a little bit of training and Songpaw changes her views on her mentor just as quickly. The bond that forms between them is one that you know will last until their dying breath. Or Fireflowers. But I won’t give anything away to anyone who has not read Songlfight’s Battle.

Now, to my favorite topic of all… BUSH! He is so adorable and I love the double personality you give him. On one side he is an arrogant and overly-confident tom who Songpaw thinks is stuck-up and maybe is a little jealous of him for being so sure and calm. And on the other side he is a cat who has lost his littermate and is still grieving, something which she can easily relate to. It is the perfect way to kick off a relationship between the two which is sure to come.

My critique… Making Trout? You won’t except that so I will try something else I guess… Ugh... hard work. I want to say Hawkswoop and Patchbird. They are supposed to be the other main characters in this series but it feels as though you have replaced them with Bush and Trout… I thought it would be better if they got more screen time and played a larger roll with the time they had in your stories. But I just love this, okay Rainy? I love it almost as much as I love you! <3