Falling Feathers

I realised how fragile peace could be in the wrong paws

I don't think any of us will be allowed in Starclan

Even after I tried to keep everyone looking up

I failed my love, I failed my best friend, I failed my clan.

Prologue
Can't look back, they will not come back...

Can't be afraid...

"This is ridiculous, Yewstar." Gorsestar barked at the Thunderclan leader. Yewstar twitched his whiskers.

"I thought you'd agree with me on this of all cats, I always thought Shadowclan needed the extra claws," Yewstar pointed out calmly, and flicked his tail, "The number of rogues that have appeared, some of them seem to accept our ways, why not let them join?"

Gorsestar asked dangerously, "And what if they end up betraying us? Or realise that clan life isn't for them but expect us to feed them anyways?"

Yewstar seemed to consider him, but Sparrowstar mumbled, "As much as I want to hear you two fight, we need to settle this now, in my eyes, if they find they don't want to accept our ways, they can leave. I don't care as long as they're participating."

Yewstar turned to a light grey tom sitting a bit aways from them, "You've been quiet, Heatherstar." He said gently, the beige she-cat looked at him dangerously.

"If your warriors could make up their minds on whether they want the rogues to stay or go is perfectly fine with me, you keep chasing them to my territory and we're running out of prey, we have mouths to feed." She growled. Yewstar twitched his whiskers.

Gorsestar growled, "Now, I know I don't agree with you, Yewstar, but you're not that mouse-brained, there's a higher chance the rogues just want a free pass, then actually wanting to be a part of clan life."

Yewstar pointed out calmly, "Some of us have rogue or loner blood, does that make us freeloaders?"

Gorsestar grunted, Sparrowstar finally cut in, "We need to decide now."

Yewstar murmured, "I'm for allowing some to join."

Gorsestar only shook his head, Heatherstar shrugged non commitedly. Sparrowstar murmured, "Like I said, if Shadowclan doesn't want to let rogue's in, that's up to you, but I have to agree with Yewstar on that one, I thought you would like the extra claws."

Gorsestar was taken aback at this comment, and his fur started to bristle, "Watch yourself, Sparrowstar." He snarled.

Heatherstar snorted, "Look, there's 2 yes's, 1 no, I personally don't care as long as my clan is being fed, is this meeting over?"

Yewstar nodded, Gorsestar watched as the other leaders left the clearing, he looked up at the stars, and sighed, "Ridiculous... That was a jab at me... Just because my mother was a rogue, they look down on me, Starclan give me strength, I always saw myself as one of you..."

He finally left the clearing.

Chapter 1
I'm standing alone

Calling out your name

"Hawkkit!" A voice snapped in Hawkkit's ear, he flicked it, and woke up.

Hawkkit brought his paw to his nose, and mumbled, "Aw, I almost had that mouse, you're something else, Jaykit, fun-ruiner." He opened his eyes fully to see a dark grey kitten staring down at him incredulously with sharp blue eyes.

"You're not as funny when you're sleepy, Hawkkit." Jaykit mumbled dangerously, and flicked his thin tail. Hawkkit stood up, and stretched, while Jaykit was older, Hawkkit was the biggest out of all the kittens in the nursery, his siblings died in the winter before, his mother, Rainpelt, still greived the loss, but no one doubted Hawkkit's survival in that tradegy.

"You sometimes act like you have a stick on your spine." Hawkkit laughed, Jaykit only narrowed his eyes.

Jaykit's mother murmured, "It's a bit early to be arguing, toms."

"Sorry, mom." Jaykit bowed his head.

Hawkkit murmured, "Sorry, Larchwing."

Larchwing flicked her tail at both of them, and returned to sleeping, Oakkit looked from above Larchwing, and asked, "You guys are awake already? My sister is trying to sleep, you meanies, if you wake her up you'll deal with me." Oakkit hissed, and puffed out her brown fur, Hawkkit laughed though.

"That's more cute than it is threatening, Oakkit," Hawkkit teased her, Oakkit huffed, and returned to her own nest, she curled up with her smaller sister Leafkit and her mother Yellowflight. Hawkkit looked at Jaykit, who seemed unimpressed by Hawkkit's prods at Oakkit. Hawkkit asked, "What? It's true."

Hawkkit ventured outside the nursey and looked around the camp with wide eyes, brambles covered the edge, giving a rather imposing look. He blinked when warriors came through the entrance, followed by Yewstar, the Thunderclan leader, a broad shouldered tabby tom. Hawkkit waved his tail excitedly.

Some of the warriors waved their tail in greetings, and returned to the warriors den. Hawkkit jumped and down while Jaykit finally followed him out.

"What's so interesting?" Jaykit mumbled.

"Yewstar came back from the gathering." Hawkkit pointed out, Jaykit finally twitched his whiskers. Hawkkit copied this movement, which annoyed Jaykit.

Jaykit huffed, "Anyways, what do you plan on doing today? Going to bug the elders again? Tease Oakkit and Leafkit? You know Leafkit is weak after the winter." He pointed out flatly.

"She laughs at my jokes, unlike you." Hawkkit pointed out, and stuck out his tongue.

Hollyflight, one of the elders, walked past them, and pointed out gently, "It'll get stuck like that, Hawkkit." Hawkkit stopped, and both toms watched as she walked away to talk to Yewstar.

Jaykit laughed, "Yeah, but maybe that face suits you." He teased, Hawkkit flicked his tail dangerously, but before he could pounce on the smaller tom, his mother walked out of the nursery.

"Is that where you've been?" Rainpelt asked sternly.

Jaykit stopped his laughing, and stared up at Rainpelt. Hawkkit looked much like his mother, they were both dark, fluffy tabbies. Hawkkit got much of his father's size, whom Hawkkit had never met. Rainpelt had told him that all Hawkkit had to know is that his father chose his path, Jaykit told Hawkkit that his father abandoned the clan and became a rogue.

"Yes, mom." Hawkkit mumbled under his mother's gaze, she sighed, and walked past the two quarreling kittens. Hawkkit expected Jaykit to take a jab, but the other tom never did.

Hawkkit took in a deep breath as Jaykit walked away from him and to the prey pile to pick out breakfast for his mother and brothers. Hawkkit jumped when Oakkint pushed past him with a huff. Hawkkit blinked when Leafkit, a small brown kitten, came up to him, and only stared up at him expectantly with wide green eyes.

"Eh? Hey, Leafkit. You're looking a lot less twiggy from yesterday." Hawkkit pointed out honestly. He gaped when the smaller she-cat started laughing.

"Thank you, Hawkkit," Leafkit mewled, "My mom says I'll be strong enough soon to leave the nursery alone."

Oakkit called, "Leafkit! Come on and pick what you want to eat!"

Leafkit frowned at her sister, "She's boring." She muttered, and waved her tail at Hawkkit as she ran quite clumsily to her sister. Hawkkit watched as in soon became bright out. The medicine cat, Sunpelt, a sandy coloured tom, was instructing his apprentice, Vinepaw, on the proper uses of yew. Hawkkit finally decided to join the other kittens.

The prey pile was always fully stocked since the winter passed. He listened as Leafkit made up stories to entertain Jaykit and Oakkit, Hawkkit thought with a laugh, For someone who was lucky to live through the winter she certainly has strength in mind.

Finally, they had to let the warriors eat and share tongues, they brought some food back to their mothers, Hawkkit ate alone though, Rainpelt was busy discussing with the warriors about the recent gathering. Hawkkit watched as Jaykit and his brother Sparrowkit teased each-other, while Oakkit doted on Leafkit, who seemed irritated.

Hawkkit jumped when a fresh breeze hushed through the camp, he heard Leafkit ask, "Why can't I see outside of the camp?"

"Because, mouse-brain, you're not well right now." Oakkit pointed out. Leafkit stuck out her tongue.

Hawkkit looked out of the nursery, and finally stood up, Jaykit seemed to notice this movement, Hawkkit walked towards the entrance, he stared up at the tightly woven brambles, and huffed but before he could even step out of the camp, a heavy weight held him down. He puffed out his fur, while a voice above him laughed.

"Not! Fair!" He whined, and looked at the cat.

Sunpelt was twitching his whiskers. Sunpelt and Rainpelt were good friends, Hawkkit thought, ''I guess he felt obligated to take my father's place the best he could, even though he's a medicine cat, he's good at multi tasking, I'll give him that. ''

"I know you're bigger than most kittens, but even you're a bit too young to leave camp right now, Hawkkit." Sunpelt pointed out, and laughed.

Hawkkit huffed, and watched as Vinepaw walked up to her mentor, a smug look on her face. Jaykit finally peeked his head out of the den, and Hawkkit made a face when Jaykit stuck out his tongue, and waved his tail. Hawkkit jumped when Vinepaw put her angled face in front of his, and she said, "Wittle Hawkkit getting too curious?"

"I'm not little!" Hawkkit snapped at her. Vinepaw laughed.

Sunpelt murmured, "Now, now you two, Vinepaw, go mix some poultices, Hollyflight's been complaining about her paw's again." Sunpelt and Hawkkit watched as Vinepaw left begrudgingly, and Sunpelt looked back down at Hawkkit, who had stopped struggling.

"Why doo you do this to me, Sunpelt? You pretty much watch my every move." Hawkkit mumbled.

"Well, someone's got to, Rainpelt has been distracted since she practically lost all of her litter but you." Sunpelt pointed out gently.

Hawkkit huffed, "You're the one who told her that I'd survive weren't you?" He asked in annoyance.

"Yes, just don't be a mouse-brain and lower your chances." Sunpelt replied. Hawkkit sighed as Sunpelt got of him, and walked back to the medicine cat den. Hawkkit continued to lay there, his pride hurt. Jaykit walked up to him, and stared down at him.

Jaykit asked, "You going to get up any time soon?"

Hawkkit huffed at him, and stood up, "I'm up now, it's your turn to lie down." Hawkkit laughed. Jaykit twitched his whiskers.

"You bounce back fast," Jaykit mewed calmly, and turned away from Hawkkit, "My mom wanted to make sure you were okay."

Hawkkit laughed, "I appreciate her concern." He blinked when Jaykit seemed to smile, and walked away from him. Hawkkit frowned, ''Is he trying to push my buttons? It's not really working.'' He thought in confusion. Hawkkit sat down, and curled his tail around him, he blinked and looked up at the sky, where birds flew above him, there still was a gentle breeze blowing through the camp.

He looked back down, and watched the warriors go about their business, he noticed some of them had grim gazes, but most of them were laughing with each-other. Thistlefall, a big grey warrior, was one of the grim ones. Hawkkit stood up when he walked past him, he looked down at Hawkkit, but said nothing as he continued on his way.

Hawkkit finally returned to the nursery, Leafkit was sleeping soundly, while Oakkit was grooming herself. Jaykit was staring outside of the nursery, and didn't look as Hawkkit walked in.

To be continued