Cinderpelt's life without the damaged leg

"Longtail, I would like you to lead a patrol. Take any cats you like." Tigerstar announced. Cinderpaw sighed. She missed Bluestar so much, her heart felt like it was bleeding. The beautiful silver she-cat had taken on the responsibility of leading a clan for so long, and she had fought so bravely. How could Starclan have allowed the cat that had fought to much to die because of a Twoleg monster? ''I shouldn't have listened to Fireheart. I should have gone to see whatever Tigerclaw wanted to show Bluestar. Then the clan wouldn't be lead by the dark hearted warrior. I'm sure he was partly responsible for Bluestar's death.''

"I'm going to make some major changes here." she heard him growl to his deputy, Darkstripe. The two powerful toms both instinctively glanced at Fireheart, and Cinderpaw longed to leap between them to save Fireheart from Tigerstar's glare of pure hatred.

"I can't believe this is actually happening." the handsome ginger tom surprised her by trotting to her side. Cinderpaw purred. The warrior had finally spoken to her outside of training! Her heart fluttered like the wings of a sparrow. Like prey to the ferocious warrior who had the power to break it in two... Seriously, Cinderpaw, since when were you so sloppy? 

"Why not? What's so hard to believe?" she gabbled, tongue-tied. Her easily distracted mind was taken from depressing thoughts of her dead leader- but only momentarily.

"Bluestar was only young." he mewed, but she knew that wasn't all. It didn't take the skills of a medicine cat to see that Fireheart wan't happy with Tigerstar's leadership.

"I know." Spottedleaf padded up to greet them, licking his ear affectionately and nodding curteously at Cinderpaw, who didn't miss Fireheart's wince at the sight of Spottedleaf's hideously scarred muzzle. The once- pretty she cat had lost her beauty when she almost lost her life to a Shadowclan warrior long before Cinderpaw was born. Cinderpaw felt much remorse. It couldn't have happened to a nicer cat, and despite their shared love of Fireheart, the two she-cats were friends. The apprentice had learned much from the cat who she had known since kithood.

Cinderpaw had every chance whereas Spottedleaf had none. But none of this mattered now. Her clan was in jeopardy, her leader was perished. Only the scattered skeleton on the thunderpath was left of her. She wasn't even distinguishable as a cat. She was dead.

"But she's still with us! She watches over us always." Cinderpaw blurted out. She couldn't bear to think of the wise leader as dead. The sight of the mangled body was burned into her brain.

"You are wise, young one. The path of medicine is always open for you. Remember, the choice is always there."

"Thankyou, but I'm determined to become the best warrior in the forest." she saw no future for herself as medicine cat. She was already a good fighter- not the best- but improving. One day she would be able to take down any clan single pawedly. Nobody could stop her then. Foxes and badgers alike would quake with terror at the thought of the mighty Cinderfire (the warrior name she desired).

"That's okay. Would you mind if I could have a private word with Fireheart?" Spottedleaf interrupted her thoughts. Cinderpaw was puzzled. What couldn't she hear that Fireheart could? She knew she had no right to listen; she was an apprentice and the older cats were both warriors. But she had to hear anyway. Silently following the two cats into the medicine cat den, the young she-cat's heart was struck by words with the power of a Twoleg monster.

"What is it, Spottedleaf?" Fireheart asked.

"Fireheart, I'm going to have your kits..."

Fireheart

"No." was his only reply. He was beyond shock. For Starclan's sake, he was barely a warrior! How could he even have kits? Let alone kits that would place his entire future in jeopardy.

"I know, I know." Spottedleaf whimpered, and the two cats stood in silence, their eyes huge and scared like frightened kits.

"You can't keep them!" they spun round, shocked. Standing before them was Cinderpaw, her blue eyes full of pain and betrayal. Betrayal? Fireheart blinked with guilt, then felt furious with himself. Why should he be guilty? He'd done nothing but fall in love, and his apprentice had no right to interfere.

"This doesn't concern you, Cinderpaw. Back off." Fireheart hissed, his heart alight with the fire of anger. He was momentarily satisfied when he saw the grey she-cat scamper out of the den.

"I'm going to lose them." her voice was quiet, her eyes full of pain.

"No you're not! How can you say that? They're not even born! How could you lose them? They'll be in the nursery. We'll find a queen to care for them!" he tried to think of more logical solutions but his head was spinning.

"No, I'm going to... to... kill them. Before they're born." she whispered. Fireheart stared at her.

"Can you do that?"

"Yes. It's not easily done, but with the right herbs..." her voice faltered away.

"No! I won't let this happen! Let's... lets run away. The two of us, together." it was the only way. There was nothing left for him here any more. Graystripe had become too smitten with Silverstream to care if he lived or died. Bluestar was dead and Tigerstar ruled the Clan. And Fireheart loved Spottedleaf so much that it scared him. How could he not go?

"Yes. The two of us, forever and ever..." Spottedleaf whispered, purring. She was obviously trying to hide her fear but nothing could conceal fear of this type. It was like a forest fire, blazing amongst the trees when nobody could stop it. But surely all fires ended?

"At moonhigh. There's no time any more." He licked her shoulder and stalked out of the den, ready to say his farewell to the first warrior he had ever met.

Graystripe

"Graystripe, we have to run away together. I can't bear having to hide our love." Silverstream licked his ear affectionately.

"I can't. I have a life in Thunderclan!" he longed to say yes. Yes, let's leave the clans behind us. Yes, let's take on the world alone. Yes, I love you.

"I have a life in Riverclan, Grey. But I love you so much. I can't ignore this feeling, that I'm doing something wrong. We're not wrong. If the warrior code says we are, then it must be changed. That's what I told Crookedstar." her blue eyes clouded with pain, and Graystripe knew it hurt her to think of leaving her father.

"I would come but..." he began, but cut his sentence short. The truth was painful and he couldn't bear to see his love in any more pain. Hadn't he done enough? Wasn't stealing her heart from her clan enough damage?

"You can't leave Fireheart." she finished the sentence for him. Greystripe winced, then looked up in horror. Another cat was here. Riverclan? Thunderclan? Who could tell? Whatever clan, he was going to have to fight them...

"Farewell, Greystripe. I have to go." Fireheart announced breathlessly.

"Um... bye!" Why did his friend always turn up at the most awkward moments to make a fuss over nothing?

"No! I'm leaving the clans. Me and Spottedleaf. Shea's having my kits and I love her so much." Fireheart looked down at his paws. Greystripe would have begged him to stay till his throat was raw.. But then he realized what was happening.

"No, Fireheart. Not goodbye. Me and Silverstream, we're coming with you..."

Cinderpaw

M oonhigh. A beautiful sight for a day of pain.

No, not pain. Torturous pain. Agony. Pain wasn't close to enough. An insult to the feeling that was raging inside her.

"I'm going to do it." she whispered.

Silently, she padded towards snakerocks. One bite, that was all it would take. Then the fire inside would go away.

Her mind teased her. What would the kits be like? Would one be a beautiful ginger she-cat, with shining eyes just like her father, a gleaming coat just like her father, a sweet scent just like her father... but mixed with that of her mother?

The mother.

Any other cat would have felt fear. But the torrent of flame inside her left no room for fear. She approached faster. Faster.

And in that moment Cinderpaw knew she wanted to die.

And she didn't even pray for it to be quick.

Spottedleaf.

"So you're coming too?" she was partly relieved to have company on their dangerous travels, but partly afraid. Were these cats friends? She knew Graystripe, a courageous and once-loyal warrior with humour and wit and love in his heart. But life had taught her wariness and love had taught her mistrust and pain had taught her regret. Pain was the greatest teacher of all.

"Yes. I too am expecting kits." Silverstream mewed. Graystripe gave a mew of horror but delight.

"Silver! You didn't say!" he gasped. Silverstream opened her mouth to reply but she was interupted by a wail of pain.

"Leave it. We'll never get away if we stop for every hurt cat in the forest." Fireheart began to walk away, but Spottedleaf stopped.

"No, that's not just any cat. That's Cinderpaw!" she cried, racing to snakerocks. She knew she had hurt the young cat more than words could say, and she hated herself for it. But the apprentice was young and had not yet learned her lessons from pain. If she survived, she would grow to be a tough cat emotionally. If she survived.Spottedleaf looked in horror at the grey apprentice, who lay before her. Blood seeped out of a deep wound in her leg. She had been bitten by a snake. Spottedleaf initially thought it was out of stupidity that Cinderpaw had been playing by the rocks. THen she realized.

"I'll need poppy seeds for the pain, and dandelion to stop infection." although she wasn't a warrior, she still fought battles against illness and rarely lost. In her own way, Spottedleaf was the best fighter of them all. She fought with all her skill and strength. No love was strong enough to draw her from the battlefield. Not ever. But now her alley was near the end.

"Goodbye, Fireheart. Starclan is calling me." Cinderpaw whimpered. Spottedleaf winced. Fireheart wasn't here, but she couldn't let the apprentice go to Starclan in so much pain.

"I love you, Cinderpaw. Stay." Spottedleaf imitated Fireheart's voice as best she could.

"No pain." Cinderpaw opened her eye...

Cinderpaw

The journey was hard but she bore it with ease. Fireheart loved her! He really did! He had told her so at snakerocks. She had been dying, bitten by a snake. She longed for Starclan. Spottedleaf danced attention on her but it was too much to bear.

But then he had spoken. His voice was a bit higher than normal and wobbly, she'd noticed. Was it stress? Had he become so afraid for her that he was quaking with fear?

The pain was gone and she was glowing. Maybe the kits belonged to some other cat. Perhaps Whitestorm.

"We're like a new clan, the five of us. And the expected kits makes at least seven." Greystripe observed. Cinderpaw smiled. A new clan! The warriors would be Silverstream and herself, and the medicine cat was Spottedleaf. The leader would be her love, Fireheart. The deputy would be Greystripe. It really was a clan.

"Maybe we can start a new clan! One big one, with no fights over territory and prey. We had to suffer but our kits don't." Silverstream sighed at the thought.

"Let's name it... Oneclan. Because we are one." Fireheart said thoughtfully, and Cinderpaw beamed so brightly that the four other cats purred in amusement.

Meanwhile, up in Couldclan...

Her name was Squirrelflight and she was forever confined to Couldclan. The place for cats who were destined to be born but weren't, or kits who died young.

Her mate was Mosspelt, Bluestar's son. She didn't love him. She loved Brambleclaw in Willclan. He was going to be born for sure. She envied him that.

The two clans met every moon, and their love was forbidden. What was it with forbidden love that made it so desirable?

"They've journeyed for long. Spottedleaf's kits are due soon." it was Leafpool, her sister.

"It should be us, Leafpool. Fireheart should be with Sandstorm now." Squirrelflight spat.

"But she had kits due soon and what should be won't happen."

The two sisters watched over the world that was falling to pieces, and Squirrelflight knew that even if Couldclan wasn't simple, life was much, much worse.

GRAYSTRIPE

He looked down at the two kits before him.

"Welcome, the first additions to Oneclan." Fireheart- or, as he was now known as, Firestar, murmured.

"What will you call them, Silverstream?" Cinderfur (Oneclan's only warrior) queried.

"I think this one is going to be Greykit..." she began. Greystripe rolled his eyes.

"And the other one Silverkit? Come on, Silverstream. It never hurt to be original."

"Okay, keep your fur on! This one is Stormkit, then. And the little one looks like a Featherkit." she nudged the squirming kits.

"Featherkit? What a horrible name. What about something nice, like Smudgekit?" he suggested, then felt embarrassed at the idea. A sleek, silver she-cat called Smudgekit? Honestly, Graystripe, that's worse than Silverkit.

"I quite like it. Featherkit, I mean." Spottedleaf mewed.

"Don't tire yourself out! Your kits are due any..."

"Kits!" Spottedleaf screeched. Greystripe purred loudly. The medicine cat should win a prize for timing of the century.

FIRESTAR

Spottedleaf had had her kits yesterday but she was weak. There had been four- far too many for the weak traveller.

"How are you?" he mewed anxiously.

"I'm worried." his heart plummeted.

"What is it?" he demamded. Was she going to die? Was one of the kits sick?

"We're fine, but this kit is weak. He's too small." she gestured to one of the kits. She was right; he was a runt. A devillishly handsome tom, but a runt. He was jet black, with sparkling emerald eyes and shining, pointed white teeth. Cinderpaw gasped.

"I think he's brillliant!" she stammered.

"I think I'll call him Nettlekit." decided Spottedleaf. She turned to the largest kit. It was another tom, a replica of his father.

"I think I'm going to call this one Blazekit." She was about to turn to the only she-cat, but they were shocked out of it. The second kit, a tortoiseshell tom, surprised them by staggering to his feet.

"That's not meant to be possible for any newborn kit. Risekit is going to be a very special cat when he grows older. Good luck, my son." Risekit squealed.

"And the third kit?" Graystripe prompted. They looked in astonishment at the heart-stoppingly beautiful she-cat. She was pale ginger, but her eyes were what made her beautiful. They were almost alive. The most vivid shade of liquid brown imaginable.

"This is Shinekit..."

MANY MOONS LATER...

Allegiances- Oneclan

LEADER- Firestar, once- handsome ginger tom

DEPUTY- Risewake- thin tortoiseshell tom

MEDICINE CAT- Spottedleaf- beautiful tortoiseshell she-cat.

WARRIORS-

Cinderpelt- pale grey she-cat

Shineeye- beautiful pale ginger she-cat

apprentice: Smallpaw, ex-rogue

Blazetail- bright ginger tom

apprentice- Yellowpaw, ex-rogue

Silverstream- silver she-cat

Nettleclaw- very handsome black tom.

Feathertail- silver she-cat

Stormfur- dark grey tom

Eaglecry- brown tom, ex-rouge

Sunfoot- red tom, ex-rouge

QUEENS-

Princesslight- light brown ex-kittypet (previously known as Princess)

Waterfall- grey, virtually blue, ex- loner

ELDERS-

Greystripe- dark grey tom with hideously scarred face from encounter with rogue group on journey, retired early due to lack of hearing

''Cinderpelt crept through the territory. She knew she was a worthless, mateless, pointless wreck.''

If only she had gone to the Thunderpath.

If only she hadn't listened to Fireheart.

If only things had been different...