The Hole

a story by ginger. 

"You are my sister.

And i can never forget that.

Even if I did once before."

the hole begins
What are you afraid of?

She was simple, when it came to that question. She’d answer a humble “oh nothing, really,” when asked, or if she was closer to you she’d admit that she was a little afraid of wide open spaces, or rogues, or Twoleg children. The adult Twolegs don’t bother us much, she’d say, with dull intelligence in her pale green eyes. It’s just the children that get too touchy.

There were things that she wouldn’t admit, not even to herself, when asked that question. She was afraid of losing her father like she’d lost her mother so long ago, or seeing him bloodied and slain in battle. She was afraid of looking up at the stars and realizing she was the only one left on earth. She was afraid of growing old, alone, and of walking outside camp gazing at waters and watching families of fish dart by with the children and family she never made the effort to grow. Most of all, she was afraid of failing others. Not being good enough, not quite making that extra reach to be a better daughter, or niece, or mate. Even a sister.

Especially a sister.

But when you look past her fears, and her deep-down thoughts that she buried so far that even she couldn’t find them, Mintfern was a simple cat.

I suppose you should know about Mintfern.

She hadn’t been afraid of losing anyone. Not really. She didn't remember her mother, who had been stricken with illness soon after giving birth. And Mintfern didn’t mind that. Her father Stonefang had stepped up and taken the extra mile to raise Mintkit and her sister, Tawnykit.

Perhaps you should know of Tawnyflower as well.

When you looked at Tawnyflower and asked the same question, what are you afraid of, she’d answer more honestly. Her deep-down thoughts were a little shallower than her sister’s, a little closer to the surface where you felt like you knew a cat you didn’t know at all.

How Tawnykit and Mintkit’s dynamics worked was a wonder to RiverClan. Tawnykit had always seemed so mature, so wise beyond her years and kitten-fluff. Mintkit didn’t talk much at all, and perhaps her moons of silence lead to an immaturity that never seemed to wear off. She kept her deep-down thoughts buried tight, and on the nights that she thought too much she didn’t report it to Stonefang like Tawnykit did, she simply sat and pondered and waited.

RiverClan was rather grateful that they got along. In fact, for the first six moons, the motherless kits were inseparable with nothing malicious between them except play-fights.

Mintkit could remember her days as a near-apprentice very vividly: it was snowing, and her thin pelt did nothing to keep away the snowflakes. The only thing warm about that winter was Stonefang’s thick fur, and the rumble in his throaty purr as he watched his daughters dance on the frozen puddles. And it was on those winter nights, as the sisters lay awake and shivered, that they made a promise.

Tawnykit could remember it, very clearly if she tried. Sisters forever, she’d said. ''We'll train to be the best warriors together, and make each other happy. We won’t let anything between us. ''

Mintfern lost the ability to recall the exact promises moons ago, but she remembered that at one time, that promise was enough to grant her a sister.

Winter was thawing when Mintkit and Tawnykit became the newest RiverClan apprentices. Badgerstar was the young, noble leader, one who Mintkit and Tawnykit had teased each other about. The ceremony was really a blur to Mintpaw: she could recall a very pale gray tom reaching down and touching his nose to hers with a genuine smile in his eyes. He made promises to her, promises to train Mintpaw to the best of his ability and make her the best warrior she could be. Back in a time when Mintpaw believed in promises, she grinned right back at him with a stupid smile few cats got the chance to see.

Mintpaw remembered Tawnypaw turning as her name was called, away from the crowd of fierce warriors and padding up to a lanky, thin-muscled tom. Mintpaw had stared at her helplessly, mouth open wide. Her legs felt like buckling, but she didn't move. StarClan, why didn't she move?

The mentor's watery eyes blinked in gratitude as she accepted his nose, and the Clan dismembered.

“Tawnypaw?”

Mintpaw scrambled up to her sister as the rest of RiverClan broke away from the throng. She pushed past a small tom, who hissed, but the white she-cat ignored him. The calico excused herself from her new mentor, whose whiskers were twitching in amusement, and trotted over to her sister.

“Can it wait?” Tawnypaw asked just as Mintpaw approached. She lowered her voice to a whisper. “I need to start training with Acornfall right away!” Mintpaw gave her sister a stern look of disapproval. She shook her head furiously.

“Not at all.” Mintpaw gazed at her sister sadly, hoping Tawnypaw would take the hint already. “Tawnypaw, you broke the promise.”

Tawnypaw’s brows raised. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she replied, baffled. Mintpaw rolled her eyes. Her sister was intelligent, sure, but she was a bad liar.

“Yes you do.” Mintpaw’s glare was back and livid. She took a step closer to Tawnypaw. “We made a pact to be sisters forever. We would train together, and make each other happy. We wouldn’t let anything between us.” Mintpaw’s voice was nearly a snarl. “And you… abandoned me. How am I supposed to train without a sister?”

“We’re still sisters. Just because you’re going to be a warrior and I’m going to be a medicine cat doesn’t mean our bond is broken.”

Mintpaw traced circles in the dirt with her paw and began to mutter like a kit. “The promise said we’d be warriors together,” she pointed out in a huff.

Tawnypaw’s eyes softened. “Mintpaw, we’re no longer kits. I know I made the promise but…” her orange eyes glistened as she spoke to Mintpaw. “...but there is a great big world out there and now that I see it…” Tawnypaw trailed off and shook out her coat. “In that pact, we swore we’d be happy. Being a medicine cat is my destiny -my happiness- and being a warrior is yours.”

“We can’t go fishing together, though,” Mintpaw meowed, disappointed heavily. “Stonefang said he’d teach us to be the best hunters in the Clan, just like him.”

“And you will be,” Tawnypaw promised, smiling slightly. “You don’t need me to make Dad proud. You’re bold, headstrong, and wonderful, Mintpaw. You take the most after Mom. Dad needs a cat like her in his life again, and I’m afraid I can’t be that cat.”

“But I can’t make Dad happy by myself!” Mintpaw exclaimed. Her voice was nearly a wail. “I can’t do anything by myself!”

“In time, you will be able to do anything,” Tawnypaw mused. “We’re just apprentices, Mintpaw. There’s time.” Her eyes gleamed with wisdom beyond her years. Deep down, Mintpaw couldn’t believe her sister was only six moons old. Acornfall deserved her as an apprentice. She would be a great medicine cat. The only thing holding her down was... Mintpaw.

Mintpaw sniffled. Tawnypaw noticed and pulled her sister in close, and Mintpaw was slightly grateful for the warmth in the calico cat’s fur. “I’m afraid of losing you,” Mintpaw whispered, voice cracking. Tawnypaw adjusted her head to look Mintpaw in the eyes.

“You will never lose me,” she vowed quietly. “We may be separated by interests, but we are sisters no matter what. We made a vow.” Mintpaw couldn’t help a smile.

“Mom said to always keep each other,” Mintpaw meowed. “And that’s what we’re gonna do, right?”

Tawnypaw broke into a grin and pressed her thick fur close to Mintpaw’s. “Absolutely.”

That was the first time Mintfern felt fear pierce her heart. She was once fearful of being alone, without her dear Tawnyflower and her pact of sisterhood. She was able to look back at that encounter and laugh. It was a bitter laugh, but she was laughing.

It was the dip in the ground that began the hole, the hole that the sisters dug together.

tbc