Talk:Shatterd peace/@comment-24495864-20131014213441

This is a good start! Maybe more details, and spaces after .'s. Example timeeee *Yeah, I'm using my OC/fursona*: Like instead of this - 'Blue padded through the woods, ears perked.He leaped on a mouse, killing it.'

It should be this: 'Blue padded through the woods, ears perked, listening for prey scuffling under the leaves. He froze as he scented a mouse, and stalked it, keeping low to the ground. He pounced, and the mouse squealed in terror as he delivered the killing bite. The prey struggled, then went limp in the tom's jaws. He sat up, his blue-grey fur seeming to glow dimly in the dusk's light.'

See how there's more detail in that last one than in the first one? If you write it with more detail, then it'll be more interesting to the reader and more likely to get good reviews. I'll wait for more of the story. :3