Surrender

surrender

a songfic by stork

enjoy, y'all <3

surrender
'''Another night in my new skin

Throw emotion to the wind

Just trying to find a face to make me feel something'''

I've never been accepted for who I am.

Nobody ever asks how I feel.

Nobody ever lets me be me.

I'm alone. But I still feel something. Something... cold. It's lonely.

Who am I kidding? I have to stop lying to myself.

I stand and stretch. My fur's all wet - it must've rained while I was passed out from my two-day all-nighter. I feel tired. I feel pretty much dead.

I'm not dead. But sometimes it feels like it, and sometimes I wish it were so. There is nobody who understands how I feel.

I can hear something nearby. The bushes twitch, and I immediately perk to my senses. I hide myself before I hear them come.

My stomach roars. ''Aaaagh. Why now?''

"Who's there?" A voice calls. She's young. "I heard you. You're hungry, at least. Where are you?"

Oh no.

'''And for all the pretty mouths and pretty words that turned me out

I just end up at your house

20 thousand leagues beneath the ocean'''

She knows I'm here.

I regretfully step out. She turns towards me, and I can feel my heart start to pound with nervousness.

She's got golden tabby fur, and her eyes are an amber color, like autumn leaves with a flare of fire. Her ears are curved on the sides but pointed on the end, and she's got a little scar above her eye. Her whiskers are pale silver, and her nose is topped with pink. "Hey, loner, you good?"

She's beautiful. I shake my head to rid of the thoughts. She's so pretty... oh no... "I'm fine."

She cocks her head. "You don't look fine. You're so thin! I can see your ribs!"

''That's a little rude. But she's still pretty.'' "Do you want me to catch you something? I don't really like the idea of letting someone starve, e-even if I don't know them." ''Oh my. She cares about cats even if she doesn't know them.''

Like me.

"S-S-Sure." She smiles and turns to hunt, and returns with a mouse.

"Eat up."

She tosses it to me. "Go on...Eat it."

I'm actually too overtaken by her beauty to immediately start eating.

'''And I've been trying to keep my distance

(I still need it, I still need it)

So hard to keep my distance

(I still need it, I still need it)'''

She watches me eat. "What's your name, loner?"

My name? "You're asking for it? Why?"

"Because." She shrugs. "I dunno. You seem kind, I guess, and you also look really sad. I don't like seeing cats sad."

"Well..." I stare at the ground for a minute in silence. "My name is Ummu."

"Ummu." She closes her eyes. It makes me a little nervous. "Okay. Mine's Leopardpaw."

''Paw. She's an apprentice with the Clans.'' "You're a Clan cat?"

"Yeah. Not very far from my warriorhood, though." She stares at the sky and smiles. "Just a few days actually."

"Sounds good."

''' And you make me wanna stay

'Cause you look so good

But I know you babe and this can't wait

Not one more touch, one more drink

One more minute, one more night

So I surrender

This is the moment I surrender

Now all the shapes I know are gone

Charts and maps I've drawn just get me lost

And I'm falling off the edge

And you make me wanna change

With the look on your face

'Cause I miss you babe but I can't stay

Not one more kiss, not one more fix

Not one more minute, one more night

So I surrender

This is the moment I surrender

Even now I let it in

Oh lord, I surrender

(I still need it, I can't stay

I still need it, I still can't stay)

I'm still trying to keep my distance

(Send me back in time, love me again)

Keep my distance

(I still need it, I still need it)

When I speak will you listen?

So send me back a thousand days

That first night at your old place

And tell me how it ends

I'd do it all again

For one more minute, one more night

If all that I could ever be

If all that I could ever be

Was the best ex lover of your life

If all that I could ever be

If all that I could ever be

Was the best ex lover of your life

(I still need it, I still need it)

So I surrender

(I still need it, I still need it)

This is the moment I surrender

(I still need it, I still need it)

Even now I let it in

(I still need it, I still need it)

Oh lord, I surrender

(I still need it, I can't stay

I still need it, I still can't stay)

This is the moment I surrender

(Send me back in time, love me again

I still need it, I still need it)

And all that I could ever be

(I still need it, I still need it

I still need it, I still need it)

And all that I could ever be

(I still need it, I still need it)

Was the best ex lover of your life

(I still need it, I still need it)

(Keep my distance

So hard to keep my distance

I'm still trying to keep my distance)