Talk:The Fire in The Sun/@comment-25630395-20161118235157

see, i do read things i say i will xD (sometimes)

So, this is pretty interesting. It's also really adorable. I like the different opinions on love and stuff, and I can already see it's going to be a complicated story. I'd advise getting rid of the coding cause it makes the text kind of hard to read.

When there are multiple point of views, it's usually a good idea to write in third person. That way, it's less confusing and helps the reader follow easily. However, if you can manage it, it's fine. There's a lot of stuff going on, and it's kind of hard to follow sometimes. A suggestion for writing romance is to develop chemistry and show the reader that there's romantic attraction before stating 'she loves him/her/whoever'. Overall, this is cute, and I hope you continue <3