Talk:Dread/@comment-24495864-20131027013855

~Spoilers~

ERMAHGERD SCOURGEEE ~<3

So, it's good so far, but I suggest putting a new paragraph when each cat talks, liiiike...

Instead of this: ' "S-scourge is that realy you!" A black tom meowed in astonishment. "Yes it is Fang now listen before I can rest in peace there is one thing I must get you to do. Begin the quest of dread." '

It should be: ' "S-Scourge is that really you!?" a black tom meowed in astonishment.

"Yes it is, Fang. Now listen. Before I can rest in peace there is one thing I must get you to do. Begin the quest of dread." '

See? It's not so confusing that way, and it's more organized.

There are quite a few mistakes, like 'bloodclan' needs to be 'BloodClan', maybe darkpath should be Darkpath, mountains of dread should be Mountains of Dread (basically any name needs to be capitalized :P). All the words with 'clan' at the ending have to have 'Clan' capitalized. Some spelled mistakes as well, like 'dissapeared' is supposed to be 'disappeared'. Prologe is spelled 'Prologue'.

Anyway, I'm eager to read more! :3

~Spoilers~