Talk:Shattered Destinies/@comment-7270915-20130710014228

SPOILER ALERT

Obviously, this story hasn't been edited in a while, but you fixed up something with the allegiances, which lead me to here, so I figured I would take the time to read it and leave something constructive.

I just love all the little bits of humor you put into it, such as "Dovekit is such a bossy boots," and "Good. Maybe, if I'm lucky, you'll get eaten by a ShadowClan patrol ..." LOL.

The story idea is pretty interesting too. I like the fact the one kit thinks she's part of the family, another one knows he's a rogue but doesn't know anything else about his origins, one gets told that his parents were supposedly WindClan warriors who died fighting for his Clan, and one actually knows her origins. And you manage to leave readers with a general idea of where you're going without giving everything away.

The only thing I really can complain about is the beginning of chapter five. Dovekit and Ivykit react the exact same way they do in Omen of the Stars during their apprentice ceremonies. Made me want to fall over with boredom. Anyone who has already read the first book of the fourth arc has already seen part of that scene, and that takes some of the originality and excitement out of it.