Rising from the Ground/Four

FOUR. RAVENFLIGHT

 You can take everything I have

I find Gwyn sprawled on the ground, tears streaked across her face, her eyes glassy. I nudge her but she doesn’t move. I haul her up and drag her towards Pineshadow’s den. “Ravenflight?” He peers at me as I enter.

“Gwyn’s out,” I grunt, “must have been the shock.”

The medicine cat nods and pats a nest next to him. “Drop her off here. I’ll treat her after I’m done with these patients.”

I bite my lip at mentioning that he’s putting her off because she’s a Raider and remind myself that these cats are trying to accept her.

Thanking him, I back out from the den and head over to Blackthorn’s den to meet with the rest of the fly warriors. “Is she alright?” The general greets me bluntly.

“She’ll be fine,” I inform them.

Blackthorn nods. “I want to discuss Gwyn today.”

The others stiffen but I stare at him. The general sweeps his amber gaze over us. “I’ve seen the way you have been looking at her. You did it with Artic and look how that turned out.” The harsh words make me flinch.

Mintsplash bristles. “Gwyn killed him! It had nothing to do with us!”

The general doesn’t acknowledge her words. “I want you to understand her. I didn’t send you on a quest to find her so you could toss her aside. I want you to work as a team so you can succeed when the Raiders attack once more. To win a war, you can’t have enemies in your own troops.”

Sootflight stares at his paws. “I think I know what we can do.”

When none of us speak up, the gray-brown tabby tom continues. “Gwyn knows Raider territory like the back of her paw. We could first do prison raids. Then, when we’ve rallied a huge army, we’ll attack the main camp.”

“Sounds like one of those simple outlines of a plan that doesn’t work,” Whiteflame grunts.

Sootflight glares at the white tom. “Do you have anything better?”

Whiteflame bares his teeth, “I do actually.”

“Well why don’t you tell us?”

“We use Gwyn as bait,” the white tom lashes his tail, “I saw who she had been fighting earlier. A huge white tom who looked like he scared her out of her wits. We can safely guess that that tom has traumatized her for her entire life and probably wants her life. So we give her over and while they’re satisfied with her, we’ll strike like never before.”

“No,” I find myself blurting out, “We’re not giving Gwyn to them.”

“Why not?” All the others chorus.

I stare at them, disgusted. “Would any of you be willing to accept this plan if he had offered Mintsplash? Sootflight? Me?”

They shook their heads.

“You’ve never done this with Artic either! What’s the matter with you guys now? Just because she made a mistake?” I demand.

“I’ve thought about it before with that tom,” Whiteflame mutters.

Shock runs through me and before Blackthorn could interfere, I storm out of the den. I race through the camp and reach the Pit in no time. I clamber up the walls and when the guards shout at me, I ignore them.

I don’t know where I end up, but it’s where we last set up camp to find Gwyn. I stare at the messy remains of our broken down camp and sob.

A tail wraps around me. “Go away,” I choke out, “go away.”

Then his scent hits me. I whirl around, pain painted on my face. He looks as handsome as ever, with his clear blue eyes shining. “Artic,” I gasp.

His pelt is untouched by the last, gaping wound Gwyn had given him. “How…”

“Oh how I’ve missed you,” the tom whispers as he draws closer, “I love you so much, Ravenflight.”

I crumple at his touch and somehow, he catches me. “You’re dead,” I whisper, “how are you even here?”

Artic gives me a sad smile. “I’ll always be here for you,” he brushes his cheek against mine, his breath close to my ear. “Whenever you need me, I’ll be here.”

“Can you harm the Raiders?” I plead.

The white tom gives a chuckle and shakes his head. “Of course not. This physical form is temporary. I can do simple things like make you feel like you can touch me, but I can’t harm anyone.”

“You caught me.”

Artic laughs. “This is different, Ravenflight. I can’t wish any harm on anyone but I can make this experience real enough that you think you can feel me.”

“Then how did I not fall?”

The white tom gives a hopeless shrug. I roll my eyes but let my head rest against his chest. “I love you, Artic.” He takes a shuddering breath and I whisper, “I wish you were still here for real.”

He licks the top of my head, “I love you too,” he murmurs, “but I’m always here for you.”

“Gwyn doesn’t want me to forgive her,” I look up at him. He tenses and something dark flashes across his eyes.

“Gwyn…” He sighs, “I want to talk to her but there’s an ice cold barrier around her.”

“Should I forgive her?”

Artic’s ice blue eyes gaze deep into my yellow eyes. “That’s your decision, Ravenflight. You have a heart of compassion, something that no one else possess.” He curls his tail tighter around me, “I know you’ll make the right choice.”

“Would you forgive her?” I whisper, “If she had succeeded in killing me?”

Artic tenses again, his muscles rigid. I rest a paw on his and he relaxes slightly. “I wouldn’t forgive myself,” he takes a deep breath, “and...no I wouldn’t forgive her.” His eyes are filled with a deep anguish, “But that doesn’t mean you can’t forgive her. You need to make your own choices. Remember what she went through and why she did what she did.”

I manage a nod. I breathe in his scent desperately. “But Artic, it hurts so much.”

Before he could soothe my pain, I fall against him, sobbing. “I want to forgive her because I took her parents from her but you… I love you. I want you to behere not in the stars. I miss you so much.”

Suddenly I stumble forward and I realize Artic is fading. “ARTIC!” I cry out, “Don’t go.”

He gives me a sad smile. “I must go for now, Ravenflight. Let your heart tell you what’s right.”

I crumple to the ground as he disappears. Tears stain my face and I let myself fall into the abyss of pain and grief.

~

“Ravenflight,” a raspy voice wakes me up. I look up to see Gwyn herself standing there. “What are you doing out here?”

There’s no one else with us. “What are you doing out here?” I counter. “Aren’t you supposed to be in probation or something? Isn’t someone supposed to be watching you?”

“There’s you,” she points out, “but Blackthorn waved all my… crimes I guess.”

I take a deep breath and wipe the tears away. I stand abruptly and head past the gray she-cat for the camp. She stops me. “The fly warriors are coming soon, we’re going to raid a prison camp in the Raiders’ territory and save the prisoners.” Her eyes betray nothing of what she must be feeling. “I came first to make sure you were alright. The fly warriors will follow my scent to here.”

“Oh,” I manage, “well I’m going to go hunting. I’ll be back soon.”

Wordlessly, she pushes a mouse towards me. I stare at it dumbly. “I thought you’d be hungry,” she informs me, “I hunted on the way here for both of us.”

“Why are you doing this?” I crouch down and start to dig in.

She gives me a harsh glance. “Repenting sins.”

“Should I be washing your paws then?” I don’t know I feel so angry, “What makes you think these actions are going to make me feel better?”

The gray she-cat takes a few steps backwards, her eyes narrowed. “I’m sorry for trying,” she spits out, “but Artic was my best friend. I regret my actions as much as you do and I’m just trying to make it better! I don’t know what else to do because no one has tried to say sorry before for any pain I’d felt.”

I hear the accusation. “I apologized already,” I snarl.

Gwyn bares her teeth. “If it makes you feel better, I wish you were dead instead of Artic.”

I can’t breathe. Before I can stop myself, I hiss, “Well guess what? Artic talked to me earlier and he wouldn’t have forgiven you if you killed me.”

Gwyn’s eyes are wide with shock and she turns. Without another word, she disappears into the undergrowth.

I sink to the ground and let the pain wash over me once more.

 You can break everything I am