Talk:Rebellion of the stars/@comment-24645319-20131222054646

~SPOILER ALERT~

This is good so far. I like how you introduced Heat to readers, and this wasn't bad. It's actually good!

And how did the Rebellions know about the Clans? That's a wonder. If you don't mind constructive criticism, maybe you should try explain a bit more on how the Rebellions knew about the Clans. Otherwise, this story is pretty good.

Instead of having everything chunked up in one big paragraph, split it up whenever a new character speaks. Would you like me to fix it up a tad? :)

~SPOILER END~