Talk:Intoxicating Touch/@comment-5019333-20140820022906

This is the start of the collaboration?

It's look great, by the way. You had really good description!

A few thoughts though.


 * If Winterleaf lives in StormClan, and WinterClan is a different Clan, then her name should be Blizzardleaf, Snowleaf, Frostleaf, etc, but not "Winter." A good thing to remember when naming characters is to never call tthem the names of their Clans, even if they belong to a different one. For example, if you had DarkClan and LightClan, it wouldn't be right to have "Darkstrike" or "Lightwhisker" because the prefix is the 'sacred' name of the Clan.


 * I thought it was a bit confusing... Why is Winterleaf there is she hates Spiderstar?


 * "a small gust of wind busted through the small barrier of trees" Think of two different words, instead of repeating "small"


 * There are some grammar errors. If you would like, I will go through and fix them for you c:


 * if this is the collab, we should decide a writing order. I'd be definitely willing to spiff up the page with some coding, and I bet Blade would as well xD

--Silver