Thistleclaw's Lament

a poem (I guess it's sort of a poem?) by eevee~

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I was thirsty for power, ready to wait for Sunstar's final death and take the leadership into my own paws.

But then Bluefur's kits suddenly disappeared.

She was crushed, heartbroken that her kits had just been snatched by a fox.

But through that sadness, all I saw were lies.

It was a facade just so she could become leader.

I was outraged.

But then, maybe she'd choose me as deputy...?

Based on the looks she gave me during patrols, I quickly dismissed the thought.

And why would I want to be her deputy, anyway?

She hated me, and I hated her.

It was fair.

Bluefur had killed my mate Snowfur.

She took her on a walk, so then she could lead her over the Thunderpath and kill her.

Maybe she wanted to distract me from my warrior duties so Sunstar would be more likely to choose her as deputy.

Then, after that, she stole my own kit from me.

She took everything from me.

Everything except my hunger for power.

When she became Bluestar, the 'brave' leader of ThunderClan, I was past caring,

but my rage against her increased.

It increased, all right.

When I was killed on the Thunder-River border, I had no regrets.

I died fighting for my Clan.

Some say that I started the fight by insulting the opposing Clan, that I was only feeling bloodlust.

But for the record, they started it.

I was a ghost, never to be forgotten.

I had walked until I found a forked path, one leading up, the other straight.

The paths to StarClan and... hm... I'd never heard of a second place where spirits go.

I had headed up the StarClan path and walked until something threw itself into my flank.

It was a StarClan cat, its fur bristling and ears pinned to its head. "Get out!" it had screamed shrilly.

It was Pinestar, the fool who had left to become a kittypet.

Why was he here!?

I had snapped, "I'm heading to StarClan, Pinestar."

He had bared his teeth and hissed, "Not you, murderer!"

He had his facts wrong; I had never killed anyone unfairly.

"Leave and don't come back! Go to the place where you belong!" he'd snarled.

I had slammed my paw into the side of his head and rushed past him.

I had seen a pale white pelt and whispered, "Snowfur."

She had stared at me, her blue eyes pools of sympathy.

"Thistleclaw, you have come so far." she had murmured, closing her eyes.

I had nodded wordlessly, stepping forward to reach her.

Claws dug into my shoulders, dragging me away from StarClan, away from my mate.

Snowfur's eyes were wide and tears were forming.

She had reached out to me, her small paw stretched as far as it would go as she shouted, "Thistleclaw!"

I was writhing, trying to free myself from this cat's grasp.

When I turned to look at the cat, I nearly froze.

It was me, but with a darker pelt and gleaming red eyes, the corners of its mouth turned up into a cruel grin.

Thrashing, I had managed to scream, "Snowfur!"

When I felt the claws lift from my back, it was when the darker me threw me down the ominous-looking path.

I looked up to see dark mist swirling about, sharp-looking tree branches sticking through the fog.

As I whipped my head around, I had only one thought running through my head.

Where am I?