Back To December

Original artist Taylor Swift. This is a great song. Enjoy! :)

"Hello, Feathernose," The greeting he gave was so stiff I wanted to wail.

"Hi, Breezefall," I whispered, staring at my paws. When I first saw him, I prayed to StarClan he'd forgotten about that night. By the way he set his jaw, I knew I wouldn't get my wish. "You didn't have to show up, you know. I'd understand." I glanced up to see his blue eyes flash before he replied.

"Well, I've got nothing better to do." I looked away so he wouldn't see me flinch. "So...how are you?" His voice sounded flat, like he could care less how I felt.

"Fine. How's your mother?" He sighed and swished his tail.

"Robinflight's fine. She's a fighter."

"Oh," Is allI I can think to say.

I'm so glad

You made time to see me

How's life?

Tell me, how's your family?

I haven't seen them in a while

"How's life with you?" I ask, tugging at fur between my claws.

"Same old, same old. My deputy duties have been keeping me busy." I look up from my paw. Deputy''? ''When did he become deputy?

"That's nice," I reply hotly. He always knew I wanted to be deputy.

You've been good, busier than ever

Small talk

Work and the weather

Your guard is up, and I know why

"How's the prey running?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Fine." Is the curt meow I get as a reply. He's being very cautious. And I know why.

Cuz the last time 

You saw me 

Still burned in the back of your mind

Breezefall had left me a fat squirrel on the border. When I saw it, I'd raked my claws down it and left it there to rot. At the Gathering, he'd been there, and a look of pure pain filled his eyes when he looked at me.

You gave me roses

And I left them there to die

Only when I got back home did I realize what I'd done. I had raced to the border and sat there, calling his name between sobs, but he never showed up. I was alone.

So this is me 

Standing in front of you

Saying I'm sorry for that night

And I go back to December all the time.

I want him to know that I'm sorry, but how to tell him? I hurt him. He shouldn't forgive me. But I really want him too. I want him to know that every time I close my eyes, I see that clawed squirrel, and his pain-stricken face at that Gathering. I want him to know I love him.

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right

I go back to December all the time

I want Breezefall to know that if time travel was posible, I would go back to that night, take the squirrel, and catch something of my own to put on the border for him. I want him to know he's the only one. That every night I stay up and pray that he'll talk to me the next day.

These days I haven't been sleeping

Staying up playing abck myself leaving

When your birthday passed and I didn't call

I remember the times we'd leave the Clan boundaries and go exploring, in greenleaf, when the land was rich with prey, but we didn't touch any of it. How he'd laugh when I'd paw a drifitng leaf out of the air and tear it to shreads.

Then I think about the summer, all the beautiful times

I watched you laughing from the passenger side

And I realized I loved you in the fall.

When the snow came, my mother died. It made me more violent, less willing to trust someone. Breezefall understood and tried to make me feel better. But I saw it as a threat. I couldn't take it anymore. And then he set me off with the squirrel.

Then the cold came, dark days, when fear crept into my mind

You gave me all your love

And all I gave you was goodbye

'So this is me '

'Standing in front of you'

'Saying I'm sorry for that night'

'And I go back to December all the time'

'It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you'

'Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine'

'I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right'

'I go back to December all the time'

Many toms realized me and Breezefall were over, and tried to be kinder to me, hoping to win my heart. All I could was snarl at them to leave me alone, knowing Breezefall was the only tom I wanted. I miss him. His soft, thick white pelt. The way his blue eyes glowed when he was happy. It feels good to be around him, when he feels good about being aqround you.

''I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right And how you held me in your arms that September night, The first time you ever saw me cry''

The first time he saw me grieving was the night my mother died. I was at the border, but I hardly noticed when he showed up. He could tell something was wrong, but he didn't pry. He only pressed against my shaking flank until I was ready to tell him myself.

''Maybe this is wishful thinking Probably mindless dreaming But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right''

I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't So if the chain is on your door, I understand

"I'm sorry." My whisper is so quiet, I hardly hear it myself. But somehow, he does. "I love you, Breezefall." He shifts his paws and I look up. His eyes are glowing.

"I forgive you. I love you too."

''But this is me swallowing my pride, Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night And I go back to december It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine''

I rush forward and plunge my nose into his shoulder. I'd waited moons to hear him say that. My puurs catch in my throat as I rub against him, relief making my paws numb.

and ''I go back to december, turn around and make it alright I go back to december, turn around and change my own mind I go back to december all the time

All the time''

"I love you, Breezefall"

''Hope you enjoyed! ''