Talk:The First/@comment-25531638-20131015024917

SPOILERS

I can tell you have a good idea for this, especially with the beginning :) I can't to see what's up with Sky and everyone else. I like all of their names too.

Although, sometimes you rush a little bit. The beginning is great, how its full of action, but you could've slowed down a bit. And sometimes you should pop a chapter into word or something, since there is a lot of incorrect grammar.

Since this is a different Tribe thing, maybe you should elaborate on its customs as well. Unless its the Tribe of Rushing water...?

But I think you have a very good start, and some good dialogue, keep it up :)

END OF SPOILERS