Choking darkness

Snow
It's everywhere. Stinging my eyes, coating my fur, stiffening my once-agile muscles. I can hardly see for the pebble-sized mounds of white that are hurled from the sky relentlessley, but I push on. Huddled between my forelegs, a pair of kits are setting trembling, tiny paws onto the hard ground. They are the only reason that I have not yet given up entirely.

"Cloudy? Cloudy!" my mouth lets out a yowl before I can stop myself. The bigger of my kits - a beautiful, fluffy white she-kit who is like her father in every way - gives a tiny mew of fear at my sudden outburst. I lick her head comfortingly. I can't let my own heartbreak hurt my kits in any way. I owe Cloudy that much.

"Dust?" my head jerks up. Through the pelting flakes of snow, a pair of brilliant blue eyes are staring straight into mine. My heart literally stops.

"Is it... you?" I whisper. Then I shake my head. It can't be him. It can't be. Not unless I'm...

"No." I can't be dead. I can't have let my beautiful, innocent kits die. They are too precious, too perfect. I have not let us die. I won't.

"Look," a broad white head pushes a little further towards me, his eyes soft. I want to drown in his gaze, to live in the moment forever. I want to forget about everything, everything except him. I want it to be me and him forever...

But he's not here. He's gone, and all I have left is our kits. I have to love them, just like he would have done if he'd survived.

"Mummy?"

(TBC)