Fattail's Adventures

==== Introduction==== I am soo sorry. This is written by my brother. I am waaay to "mature" to write something like this. Forgive me if this makes your eyes bleed or devastates your thoughts on Warriors forever. No one deserves that. Oh well.

Fattail's Adventures
By Rainy's Bro

Chapter One
"Ok, well, I'm a warrior in LazyClan." "Let me tell you it's no walk in the park and let me tell you why." "Well, I guess because we don't live near a park, and don't walk that far, and I'm asleep right now. Till you woke me up. How do you feel about yourself?" "So I'm a warrior now. All that means is I get a better name and more work." "That's rabbit dung because I'm getting older and I want to enjoy life and not hunt for others." "That's all garbage from twolegs because I think the younger cats who do nothing should hunt for me. " "They need to stop being so LAZY and move their butts so I can eat." "They should wake up and know they are feeding a greater calling." "But of course that's not how it goes. We as warriors need to go into battle and fight for the losers that can't and defend our clan." "We also need to hunt for worthless elders that we love(kinda) and queens that can't hunt or are too lazy to." "Sounds pretty hard right? Our leader Cometstar works us to death and we only get 14 hours of sleep!!!" "Anyway, at least I have an old chum that I talk to named Ratfur. All right, our mothers dont know how to name their kits. Which they should know because they learn it in How to be an Ugly Mother Cat That Gripes and Bosses School. My own mother has a doctorate from there." "Here is what they learn. Number one : not to let kits out from the den, also know as deprivation from the outdoors and not letting kits explore and learn about their home." "Number two, don't let kits eat meat, aka starving kits from their real food and feeding them thin unnutritous liquid that only tastes good beacuse there's poision in it." "Anyway there are others but I'm not going to mention them." "In our clan we have warriors (cats that hunt and work to defend the clan), queens (ugly rude kit machines that think their all that), kits (worthless mouths to feed that do nothing in return),leader (bossy son of a badger that yells orders from his cushy little den), apprentices (cats who are mental and need to be taught the basics), elders (lazy cats who are old and do nothing and expect food)".

"Well, if you're wondering where my adventures come in.... (Wait your lucky you can wonder most people in my clan dont have brains.) "Ok, back to the point. Me and Ratfur have some good adventures. There was when we terrorized the nursey and wreaked havoc among the kits and their mothers but that's all." "Here's why lets just say Ratfur wasn't a cat, he was well, ... A RAT."  "That's right and I thought you had a brain you should have figured it out and even if you do have one you don't use it I guess you might as well be a LAZY elder."  "Well, thats all for now folks. I'm going to audition for a movie called Tom & Jerry. Hope I get the part so I can ditch these losers and get a real career. Being a warrior sucks. See ya! That is, if I'm not asleep when you come back. Then my eyes would be closed. Wow I am so smart!"