Talk:Bejeweled/@comment-26432133-20170801213504

OH so apparently it's been over a year since I read this. I don't remember it being that long ago wow.

Anyways, I'm picking up for Fox, so-

wfwa judge's comment

SPOILERS

I really like this! Kaytani does strike me as a bit too spoiled to be a super likeable main character, though as I mentioned in my comment 395 days ago, Zach serves well to balance her out and bring her back to reality. As for characters, I like both Zach and Kay, they're pretty solid, though I do think they're also a touch empty? I think the reader needs to get a little more a feel for them beyond just what's going on in the plot, they don't have much personality so far. Maybe giving characters time to just interact without thinking about the plot could help, though I don't think you've edited this for a year so I also don't think you plan on continuing it lol.

So, this was nominated Best Short Story. From what I've seen, this wasn't intended to be a short story? xD But still, it's a pretty good concept. I must admit, the nomination doesn't feel like it fits the category, though? This seems more like a novel than a short story, and while it is more novella-esque and novellas are short stories, I wouldn't exactly call this a short story in the same way I would Despondency. But that doesn't take away from Bejeweled at all! The whole thing about Clans and Aayrie is really interesting, and King Carlos really needs Kaytani to put him in his place >:[ Also Zach and Kay are lovely and I want them to be together lol. I do remember you mentioning a while ago how you always killed off the main ship? If Zach dies though, I don't know what I'll do with my life anymore.

Overall, this is a great story, and good luck in WFWA!