Talk:A Sister's Jealousy/@comment-8248793-20160222023330

SPOILERS

gah i commented but it was deleted because I closed my laptop before publishing D:

I only read the first three chapters, but I have to say I'm thoroughly confused by the first three chapters. You've got a lot of plot building up, and that's good, but you didn't spend any time with background information. I don't know anything about the sisters and I'm not too sure who's supposed to be in love with Endlessquest.

So I think you have a great deal of plot and of course a lot of good things here that just needs to be further developed. Use the first few chapters to tell us some background history or at least go back a bit to tell us :) That way we'll get our bearings before you jump in.

But good start!

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