User:Artimas Hunter/Poems and Essays/How to Save a Life

A story. Enjoy. And if you read this while listening to 'How to Save a Life' by The Fray, it's really meaningful. So...yah. Enjoy.

Step one you say we needs to talk

She walks you say sit down it's just a talk...

She has to let me help her, she has too....

I'm typing frantically on my keyboard, words forming in the chat box above me.

She's listening, but sometimes I wonder if I'm convincing her. Is she really shaking her head as I write the words, begging her to listen to me? Or is it genuine. All I know is that I trust her with my life. I only hope she feels the same for me.

But really what am I to her? I am nothing, the words on the screen of something she can turn off whenever she wants. Sure I'll see her the next day, but it will be different. In the loud crowded hallways of school, matters like this will never be revealed or talked about. No one will ever guess.

So here I am, clicking away at the speed of light, pleading, asking, reasoning as in my head I wonder if I'm making things melo-dramatic. Probably. I have a flair for it.

But I still think I'm right. I always do.

I still don't know if she's listening. I could call and check, but things like this should be done face to face. But they never will. Ever. So this is my last resort.

Music blares out of my speakers and I hate every word of the song I'm listening to, but thinking the song, the lyrics add a nice touch to the online conversation.

I see she's responded and I click away quickly. Nothing I say or do will matter if she's made up her mind. But I don't care, I can try, right? I wonder if I'm really scared of loosing her or of loosing her and hacing the blame of never trying to change her mind.

I wonder if somewhere, across the street, her parents are sitting, wondering what their daughter could be working on upstairs. They have no clue, I wish they did. Maybe they know some way to help her that I don't. But they don't.  And it's all on me.

I stare at the screen, horror and small hope rising in me. She says she has to go and she promises to remember what I said. I hurriedly type in a good bye.

''Remember what I said! Please, don't want u hurt. Luv u lots, ttyl.''

I post the lasgt comment and she gives one last promise, one last good bye and logs off.

I stare blankly at the screen for a moment, the switch it off.

I walk to my window, the one that looks at hers.

Her blinds are open, she's still sitting, at her computer desk. I hope she's thinking about what I said. I hope she makes the right call.

I turn away and sit on my bed, waiting for the slow hours to pass, wanting to pick up the phone, wanting to see her. But I can't. So I'll wait. But I can convince her, I have to.

I can't loose her.

How to save a life....

How to save a life...