Pumpkintail's Guide How Not to Make Mary-Sues

Speech
As many of you, I'm becoming a little sick from all these Mary-Sues in fanfictions. But you need to know, that most people create Mary-Sues without knowing it. That's why I decided to do this guide, so you don't do the same mistake ever again.

Chapter I: Proper Name
''A rainy, stormy night. Finchwing was sitting in front of the nursery, waiting for his mate, Flowerpetal. Medicine cat, Rosefur, came out. "Finchwing, quick! Flowerpetal wants you." Finchwing darted to the nursery. Flowerpetal was lying there, looking as weak as ever. She was protectively curled around her only surviving kit. Other, dead kits, were lying around. "Finchwing... I have a very little life left... Please... I want you to name our only kit..." she broke into a cough. Finchwing nodded. "It will be Starkit, so I will always remember StarClan and you when I see her." he whispered. Flowerpetal nodded weakly and went limp. Finchwing looked at his daughter. She had beautiful golden fur and white chest and paws. Starkit suited her. Appleheart, a queen lying next to them, sighed. "I will take her," muttered Appleheart. Rosefur picked Starkit up and put her down at Appleheart's belly.''

Proper name is very important while making a character. The worst mistake you can make is making the name "too beautiful". I highly recommend you not to use any of the following: Glimmer, Gleam, Spark, Sparkle, Moon, Star, Shine, Shimmer... I think you can imagine. What you have just read is perfect example how NOT to make it. The name "Star" is forbidden, altrough I've never read what happens to cat who has name like that. This was the first chapter from Starlight's life.

However, if you are clever like Erins, you can use some of them, but wisely. Shimmercloud and Starlight are Mary-Sue names. With names like that, there is no way how your cat can get out of the Mary-Sue territory. But Erins dealt with those names wisely. For example, two cats had the name "Shimmer" in the series so far. But Erins didn't do Shimmerflower or Shimmercloud - they simply did Shimmerpelt, which has far from the Mary-Sue territory. The same with Shiningheart. Instead of Shiningstar (which many people do) or Shiningmoon they simply did shiningheart, which makes different first impression than Shiningflower.

The same with "Shine". Reedshine, Leafshine and Lakeshine doesn't sound like Mary-Sue names, right?

Second, moon. Erins broke this rule in total two times (Moonflower, Ambermoon). Ambermoon is a good example. Personally, I hate that name, because it makes such a contrast, but it's getting under my skin. So, Erins could do "Silvermoon", "Bluemoon" or "Brightmoon," but they did Ambermoon, which makes no sense, but it's better than Bluemoon. Oh, by the way, in cats' world, there are no exceptions, meaning that when the rule is broken once, the rule no longer exists.

Also, don't use stupid names. But, and here comes the big But, even Erins made this mistake. Good examples are Havenpelt and Vixenkit.

Chapter II: Description
''Starkit is small, cute, soft-furred golden tabby she-kit with snow-white chest and small white paws. She has sparkling rainbow eyes.''

Another great example how to make Mary-Sue. If you make your cat beautiful, don't make her name too sweet, or if your cat's name is beautiful, don't make him/her too beautiful. Take Shimmerpelt as an example. She is black, but glossy-furred. Makes perfect sense. Shiningheart is a tricky situation, as she is based on real person, excluding that she is StarClan cat, so we will just leave this be. And here comes Sparkpaw, daughter of Bramblestar and Squirrelflight. She is bright ginger, not golden or silver, as many people would imagine. Again, makes sense.