The Warrior Cats Discover the Bathroom

One day, the cats of ThunderClan were eating fresh kill when they noticed that their leader, Firestar, was missing. Brambleclaw sent a search patrol with Dustpelt, Cloudtail, Daisy (who finally collected her sense and lugged herself out of the nursery forever), Mousefur (who begged and pleaded to come along just so she could claw Firestar's ears off), Lionblaze, Cinderheart, Berrynose, and Ivypaw to go find Firestar.

Dustpelt, who was the leader of the patrol, tracked the freaky tom's scent to Twoleg place. The cats gasped in shock. "He's gone back to be a kittypet!" they screamed. The patrol scattered around the area. Daisy accidentally ran into a Thunderpath and a monster hit her. She was dead! (Good Riddance!) Cloudtail ran to mourn her. He broke up with Brightheart and ran into Twolegplace to leave life forever.

The remaining patrol peeps tracked Firestar to - his old Twolegplace! Once again, the patrol screamed. Then, Mousefur yelled, " STOP IT OR I'LL CLAW YOUR EARS OFF!" Everyone sat down and sighed. Then they chose Mousefur, Berrynose, Ivypaw, Cinderheart, and Lionblaze to go inside the Twoleg nest.

Suddenly Lionblaze heard a contented meow down the hall. He and the patrol crept into the room. Then, they screamd in horror and discust.

Firestar, their very own leader, was sitting on a round, hard white thing with and opening in the center. He was making his dirt through the hole! He was wearing black things that framed his bright green eyes. And he was holding a piece of flimsy white stuff that had little black squiggles on it!

"Hello. I see that you have found me making my dirt," he purred, and simply turned his head back to the sheet.

"What," Dustpelt growled, unsheathing his claws, "in the name of StarClan are you doing, you FLEABAG?!"

"Why," Firestar purred smoothly. "I'm making my dirt in this thing. It's called a 'toilet'. And right now we're in a 'bathroom'. I'm wearing 'glasses' and reading a 'newspaper'. Isn't this cool?

"You little piece of fox dung!" Mousefur screeched. She lunged on Firestar and shredded his ears.

"Hey! I need those to help me 'read'!" Firestar yelled. "I will exile you forever if you don't respect the toilet!"

Mousefur turned her back on Firestar.

Firestar reached out his paw and grabbed some more flimsy white stuff that didn't have any black squiggles on it. He stared at it and then threw it into the toilet. "That was toilet paper!" he said. Then he flushed the toilet and hopped off the seat, thouroughly shaking his fur.

"Now you try it, FRIENDS!" Firestar purred, a mentally damaged smile plastered on his face.

"Ummm... Firestar," Cinderheart meowed, freaked out. "Are you okay?"

"NO I AM NOT OKAY, YOU OLD FLEABAGS! THE NEWSPAPER DAMAGED MY BRAIN AND NOW ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS USING THE BATHROOM MORE!!!! I AM NOT YOUR LEADER ANYMORE. THUNDERCLAN STINKS!!! I HATE MY LIFE!" Firestar screamed. "TELL SANDSTORM I DROWNED IN A TWOLEG OBJECT! I'M ON MY LAST LIFE ANYWAY...!" Firestar went on and on, chiacotically ranting for atleast and hour. Then, he jumped into the toilet and flushed himself away.

"GOOD RIDDANCE!" the cats yelled. Then they ran home and left Firestar to drown in his own dicovery.

THE END!