Talk:Two Sisters/@comment-25630395-20170507041013

SPOILERS

Interesting prologue! I absolutely love Icewing/star's character, it's so refreshing and new. I love how she says she's dedicated to her Clan, but is also a total a**hole to everyone in it xD. So after the prologue, I suppose the story will be about Hollowfur's children and perhaps some conflict with Icewing? Who doesn't seem to like them very much.

I applaud the descision to switch from 'Icewing' to 'Icestar' in the third person narrative. It really shows an inner struggle in a very creative way, and also the dialogue where Frostpaw accidentally calls her Icewing. The first part of chapter one is interesting too, although there isn't much.

And now for nitpicks.

The pacing in the prologue felt a bit rushed, and I was confused as to who certain characters were. A bit of exposition before throwing in character names is pretty useful. A few sentences were a bit awkward- notably the first of chapter one, which struck me as choppy. Perhaps combining the last three to something like: she tried to ignore the prodding, but it wouldn't stop! idk, just little things.

Overall, I really enjoyed this, and I am very interested to see what happens next when you two update!

END OF SPOILERS