Forestpaw's Guide to... The Abilities of Cats and their Misuse Today

Hello. I am Forestpaw, here with a couple of tips to improve your fanfictions.

Today we will be talking about the abilities of cats... and their misuse today. I do hope that you will take this into account as you write.

What Cats Can Do
Cats can do many things. But... have you ever made a list? I have taken the liberty of doing this here.

* takes deep breath* Cats can twitch their whiskers, flick their tails, walk, MEOW, laugh (yes, they can laugh. Erin Hunter used it, making it perfectly okay for us to, too) purr, sleep, twitch, growl, snarl, spit, unsheath their claws, sheath their claws, claw, paw, nuzzle...

Must I go on? You do understand what cats can do, right? Good. Let's move on to the point of this Guide.

Grin
Believe it or not, some of you guys seem to think that cats can grin. And smile, for that matter. To sum my point up, THEY CAN'T!

Of course, to make this argument, I must have evidence, so...
 * 1) Have you ever seen a cat grin?
 * 2) Have you ever HEARD of a cat grinning?
 * 3) The scientific reason that cats can't grin is the fact that their jaw and mouth is not built for it. So if you've heard of and seen a cat grinning, you're dreaming. WAKE UP!

Evidence must also be supported with pictures... so... here we go!
 * (Note: After searching the internet for one, I have come to the conclusion that there ARE no pictures of a cat grinning. Not a real one, anyway. So now, I will DRAW a cat grinning. Or try to.)

<--- Okay. So. For your entertainment, here is Forestpaw himself, making an attempt to grin. Or smile. Whatever you choose.

Isn't it horrendous? Doesn't make you want to shudder, or scream?

Or even laugh?

Cats grinning is NOT a pretty sight. So can we move on from this stage of "They grinned wildly" and move onto something more... realistic?

Grab
Yes. Although I haven't seen it on here (or maybe I have), I would like to clear up that cats do not have opposable thumbs.

But they have claws!

Which means that they can grab onto cliffs with their claws. Not their thumbs. But their claws. (Please, StarClan, state this in your story.) They can grab onto warriors... with their claws. In a fight.

Have I cleared this up? Good.

Misuse Today
There's a problem with the use of cats and their abilities to communicate using their bodies.

People don't understand their limitations.

Cats aren't nearly as smart as humans. Their brains aren't built for it.

So how come they can come up with excellent plans that you wouldn't think up instantly like they did?

It's impossible.

Writing shows, frankly, that cats can think without thinking. To come up with the winning plan for defeating ShadowClan, a cat (without also thinking about eating, drinking, and sleeping) would have to think for at least an hour.

So how come Brambleclaw can figure out how to defeat the cunning fox on the spot? I will never know.