In My Moment Ashfur-Firestar's Murder

Part of the In My Moment Series

Why Ashfur tried to kill Firestar

A lone, gray tom with darker accents stares at you, his glorious blue eyes narrowed and burning with a icy flame. Beneath that, you can see him thinking over something, planning carefully what he is about to say.

“Cats,” he begins, “look at what I have done and have seen nothing but a jealous, horrible, and disturbed cat who was in the wrong. They can suit themselves. They don’t know what it’s like walking around as if you’re bleeding, having lost half of who you are. Not only did I lose my sanity the moment I saw her with Brambleclaw, I lost the cure. Any chance I had at being whole again was gone. My life had soured, and there was no one, not one cat in the whole forest who could truly understand that.” He takes a quick breath to settle himself, but only seems to become more riled up, his fur bristling and his eyes glazing over.

“In part, I had wanted her to suffer. Squirrelflight needed to in order to comprehend exactly what her actions had done. I needed to make an example,” his voice begins to rise, and his eyes are completely blurred over with a thick, incomprehensible emotion as he stands up, as if trying more and more to be heard, "something no cat would forget and something that would make every cat think before they go around, playing with another’s emotions!” The last word is yowled so loudly the forest around you seems to shudder with it’s power. The tom is panting heavily, but begins to sit back down. A long silence passes, but you can tell he has something at the tip of his tongue.

“But beneath it all,” he admits, “there was always something hoping that if she could understand, Squirrelflight would be able to help heal me, and I her, and more than being mate, she could once again be my friend. Because in all honesty, that was what killed me. Not losing her to Brambleclaw. Not having to watch her fall deeper and deeper in love every day with that self-righteous tom. Loneliness. Loneliness was what killed me.”