Talk:Changed/@comment-5259793-20131111075820

Although this only has one chapter and a short sentence of another, I like this idea so far! Lab stories always tend to have the best plots.

HIMG, since you're the only one who's written a full chapter so far, I have to complement you first. You have come very far in your writing skills, and I really liked your chapter! The adjectives definitely weren't your generic "brown" and "cool" and "bright" descriptions. I like Shadowsun already, and he seems like he's going to become an interesting character.

Now for the constructive criticism. Even though you had a good character and great descriptions, it seemed to me that some of your sentences didn't flow as smoothly as some of the rest. As in, some sentences would be perfectly structured, and others just...wouldn't. Other than that, though, keep up the good work! I look forward to seeing more of this!