Talk:Chance/@comment-8248793-20170409234420

SPOILERS

I like the plot in this story, how Tansykit/paw is seemingly innocent and wants to do what she believes is right but I can totally see her becoming an enemy of DestinyClan as she slowly finds that this place isn't home to her.

I'll be honest I've never been a fan of main characters who face every possible difficulty, but I'm glad that you have Tansypaw's mentor and friends being nice to her (even if she doesn't realize it). I'd advise you stray away from having every scene be about Tansypaw's struggles to fit in, but rather show that she has other cats who love and care for her (and maybe have her realize it?) it could make it more interesting when she maybe turns against everyone for "betraying" her (and she'd realize that maybe she was wrong about some cats?? idk your plot lol)

I was really sad when Grayflower died even though we didn't even know her D: I can just imagine what kind of different life Tansypaw could have had if her mother hadn't died, especially with her father turning her away like that. I do like how you made it so Lilyclaw actually loved Petalpaw, because in most occasions, you would think that the stepmother wouldn't care for her mate's other kits.

I really like the other apprentices because I think they can help Tansypaw, though given the title and the plot I see so far, I'm thinking that they won't be much help D: but i like them <3 they're def little bright stars of this story hehe

Good plot so far! If I have time I'll keep up with this story and hopefully give you more comments so that I can see how Tansypaw continues to develop into a possible villain (i could totally see this being your contest entry lol but i think you entered something else)!

<3

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