User blog:LyricsThatSing/I feel... down

I am an idiot.

I have 2 questions: 1. Is life really worth living? 2. What is the real meaning of life?

I don't know. I don't care.

My crush is probably straight, my friends are literally crazy, I'm going crazy, and my life is now in ruins.

I can't even think straight.

I cried for 2 hours straight because of this post.

​TRIGGER WARNING

https://www.reddit.com/r/troubledteens/comments/hk0xy/a_gay_teen_describes_her_experience_at_a_utah/c1vzo1a/

Why is this world so cruel? We all have to die at some point. Why can't we die earlier? I wish I could just be run over by a car and DIE because I'm some random piece of trash that shouldn't be cherished. I'm fat, stupid, worthless and an easy target to bullying. Why am I made to be this vunerable?

So, back to the two questions.

1. Life is not worth it if you get hoarded by a bunch of morons every day who ask you to stress yourself out and yell at you for doing that. Of course, there is a so-called 'brighter side' of life, which sound literally far-fetched for me. I haven't discovered that side yet. I don't even need to. I can just sink in my own misery.

2. There is no actual meaning of life. God just gives you a life (Or your parents have sex and created you), and you get to live it out. You get approx. 70 years to live in a hell, then probably go to the real hell, the purgatory or heaven. (Catholic stuff) I will probably go to hell for being gay, because murder is actually forgivable but being gay is not. If God hates gays why would he even create them?

Oh, and also, I don't need life. I don't want life. I just want these things- if I really die, Ella, don't look at my search history.

Everyone here, you wouldn't know and would probably think it's a prank but it would be on Ella's account because I AM NOT ALIVE. Geez. Use your brains.

Goldie, you can visit Tansy as much as you want.

Moo, Pumpkin and everyone who's in a collab with me, just finish it for me.

My friends on here, you can probably leave your blessings on my talk and I would probably not be able to read them, but Ella and Goldie and my friends will tell me. When I'm burnt into ashes and I'm stuck in a square, little tile box with my ugly picture and RIP.

I won't rest in peace.

THIS IS NOT A SUICIDE NOTE. I AM NOT COMMITTING SUICIDE BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE ALL OF YOU BEHIND.

But I just want to die...

I'm sorr y for b reakin g down w hen I sh ould've been    stitching    myse lf b ack up