Talk:Silverpool's death/@comment-8248793-20141102232228

SPOILERS (I guess?)

This was rather short, as Silver said below, but it does has some good content in it. I thought it was relatively drawn out, instead of being terribly rushed, though it was rushed in the middle (only a bit)

Perhaps you could have separated the paragraph into multiple paragraphs, to make it easier to read.

I liked how you first described Silverpool, but I was confused on why she had enemies, where Silverstar and the others came from, and mostly just background story that would have made this a lot easier to read.

There were a few grammar mistakes, but your sentence structure and flow of the story were pretty good, so a few edits could make this a lot better :)

END SPOILERS