Talk:The Second Lost Clan/@comment-5488450-20130801183014

SPOILERS

Well, I really enjoyed this so far. I like the idea of a SpiritClan and the way you begin the foreshadowing at a split over just a simple fight of prey and disrespect towards the leader. Your actions are good, I can clearly picture what's going on, and maybe I could suggest a little bit more detail, although that's not much of an issue! Your dialect is really welld one too :)

Some things I might suggest are fixing the header for chapter 1, capitilaizing the first words of sentences, even if it is dialogue, because there were a good many times you forgot to do that and also capitilizing 'Clan' because that's how the Erins did it so it's the formal way. I'd also like to suggest capitilizing the title so it's 'The Second Lost Clan' as opposed to 'The second lost clan.' If you don't know how just ask and I can instruct you :)

I really hope you continue this, because it's a really wonderful idea and what you have so far is fantastic!

END SPOILERS