Nightpaw's Guide to Being Epic!

'''NOTE: I did not steal this from Foxpaw's guide to being reasonably insane!! I just thought it was really funny and wanted to make one!'''

1: Direct A Movie

Burnpaw: *eats fresh kill*

Nightpaw: CUT!!!! CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT!!!!!!

Burnpaw: What?

Nightpaw: Burnpaw, you need to show some emotion! WORK WITH ME HERE!!

Nightpaw: Okay. Scene 1, take 2. ACTION!!

Burnpaw: *eats fresh kill with a constipated expression*

Nightpaw: CUT!! CUT!!!! *stomps over to Burnpaw* What are you DOING??!!!

Burnpaw: Bu-

Nightpaw: NO!! GET OUTTA HERE!! SECURITY!!!

2: Tell your mentor he/she is fired

Nightpaw: *does hunting crouch* Am I doing it right?

Ashclaw: Well, you ne-

Nightpaw: YOU KNOW WHAT, PUNK??? YOU'RE FIRED!!!!

Ashclaw: ?

3: Call everybody Steve

Nightpaw: *walks up to Autumnpaw* Hey, Steve!

Autumnpaw: My name's not Steve...

Nightpaw: Come on, Steve! Quit playin' around!

Autumnpaw: Umm....

Nightpaw: *walks up to Scorchstar* Steve, can I go on a patrol?

Scorchstar: What?

Nightpaw: *rolls eyes* Steve, that isn't funny! You heard me perfectly well!

Scorchstar: Uh

Nightpaw: *sigh* This Clan is full of wackos!

4: Interrogate the deputy

Nightpaw: *hold flashlight up to Sootbreeze's face* WHERE WERE YOU ON JULY 56, 1989???

Sootbreeze: *sweats* GREAT STARCLAN, THEY'VE FOUND ME! AH!!! *runs away*

Nightpaw: *shakes head knowingly* I always knew there was something fishy about her....