User blog:SmudgyHollz/Looking back

For those of you old enough to remember me, it's been a while! And for everyone else, hey there I'm Smudge :)

So my first year of university is almost over. How did that happen? For those of you who don't know I'm currently studying for a BSc (Hons) degree in Biomedicine/Neuroscience (haven't completely decided what I want to do yet).

Moving here has definitely changed me and now I will reflect on what's happened this past year. Because a lot has happened.

'''Life Lesson - if your friends and family don't like your new man, don't just assume they're being racist. And if he tells you he thinks he's a psychopath dump his ass before he dumps yours or does something really creepy.'''

I thought the hardest thing would be moving out on my own and away from my parents and family. Turns out that's one of the easiest parts. I was extremely homesick for about a week but got over it pretty fast. Living alone has definitely helped me to become more independent - I can do laundry now (gasp). Also there are no parents to tell me I can't eat cake for dinner.

I learnt a lot about people.

I had my first serious boyfriend and my first serious breakup. For the record, I don't recommend throwing yourself into a relationship the week after you've moved to a new city - particularly if you're someone as naive and quick to fall in love as I apparently am. I can't deny that I had some amazing moments with him and for a time he made me feel the happiest I have ever felt, but in the long run I feel like I missed out on a lot of experiences and a lot of potential friendships because of him.

Also not trying to be dramatic but the breakup was fucking awful. Try to imagine somebody cutting you open with a knife, reaching their bare hand into your open chest and ripping out your heart. Still struggling to get over it. But saying that, it definitely does get better with time and you will slowly come to the realisation that he is not the be all and end all. Moving on... Making friends is both really hard and really easy. Started off friends with the nerdy science geeks who spend all their spare time studying and then somehow ended up with the crazy party animals who stay out until 3am drinking on weeknights and don't care so much about working. Discovered I fit in with neither of these friendship groups and am more suited to being friends with people somewhere in between these two extremes. I definitely still need to work on this aspect of my life and feel like I'm still just drifting at the moment, but at least I have an idea of who and what I like now. So I'm sure I'll find people who are more like me somewhere along the way.

That made me sound like I have no friends at the moment, which is definitely not true. It's pretty much impossible to have no friends at uni and not something that you should be concerned about if you're thinking of leaving home to study. I've met loads of fantastic people, including a lovely girl who I'm moving in with next year and my wonderful flatmates. Your flatmates will become your best friends, you see each other at your best and at your worst and I hope that we stay in touch long after we leave this gloomy mouse and mite infested halls of residence that has now become home.

Lastly, biomedicine is awesome. Strongly recommend studying it if you're interested in learning about how the human body works and want to make a difference to people's lives by researching cool drugs and treatments.

Should probably stop procrastinating and get on with works. Congrats to anyone who's read to the end of this mammoth blog post.

Hope you're all doing well

<3