Talk:Night of Beginnings/@comment-5342796-20160710130400



prologue - chapter five

WOW, that was a very sad beginning :( I thought at least Birchtalon would survive to foster her sister's kits. Having them die already had me sad and I'd barely known them for a few paragraphs.

I feel bad for Blackpaw too, especially when you described her as a small, sad kit left behind after her parents' split. But you can tell her father does care about her, so hopefully there'll be a chance for them to bond again? I was surprised Blackpaw decided to stay with the rogues :O She was so determined to help the Clan by finding them. Then again, her past might give her reason to not judge too quickly once she's heard the other side of the story. I'm still not sure if I trust the rogues, though.

Silverpaw is a total boss, I like her reckless bravery during the fight with the rogues. And I just love the other apprentices; apprentice squads are probably my favorite part of warriors fanfics. I like Dimpaw (and lowkey ship him with Blackpaw a lil' bit). I like how interactive and developed even the minor characters are; you avoid the pitfall of singling out a group of main characters and ignoring the fact that they belong to an entire Clan of cats who are also involved in daily activities and live in the same camp.

Birchtalon's visit :'( I wonder why Roseleaf didn't come. Did she not want to have to bear the pain of leaving her kit again, or is there another reason? I miss the two sisters so much. It's like I can still feel their shadows hanging over their kits'/apprentice's lives and feel how the kits want to make them proud.

I sense this is part of a new arc for Blackpaw, but I miss her being with the rest of the group :( I sense conflicted loyalties up ahead. I like how things aren't black and white; lines are beginning to become blurred, at least for her, and she's thinking outside of what's been ingrained in her for so long.

Very few typos, and your writing style is excellent! Not too overstated, but descriptive and clear. I'll be continuing as soon as I can. I really like this story!

>SPOILERS<