Talk:Songpaw's Loyalty/@comment-1703139-20121206011655

HOLY BEJEBUS! HOW DID I GO SO LONG WITHOUT READING THIS?! Holy...okay, since I just read Wett'ys contructive commenting thing, I shall make this long and try to be helpful.

I love the names. They're unique and they don't have the usual drag of five '-pelts' and three '-furs' and so on. Maybe start keeping a list of cats in the Clan though? I definitely saw a Clan there, but there were a couple cats only mentioned once or twice. My advice would be that if you don't need them except for one mention, use other cats instead.

The beginning was a bit choppy, but once you got into the story there was a fantastically drawn out plot. The ending was suspensful and there were enough questions involved to make me want to continue. Why is Maribel leaving? Why was Shadow scared?

Excellent grammar and punctuation and all that. Your writing is amazing and well thought out with both complex and average sentences, good word choice, and general awesomeness...

Also I think I'm Team Bush. But idk, still lotsa books to go. LOVE IT