Talk:Dark Secret/@comment-5259793-20121218005735

I like this, it's a really good plotline so far and sounds interesting. I loved the way you characterized the...well, characters, and developed them. I can clearly see jumpy (and hopefully evil *grins*) Jaystar, quiet Nightclaw, and Yellowpaw with her ear-tuft-fur-thingies. Epicsauce descriptions!

Oh gosh, now I have to be constructive *sighs deeply*. Even though it was a good story, the grammar needs some touch-ups and the amount of run-ons is making it hard to read. That's really it. Keep writing this! :D Tis epic!