Talk:A Hard Choice: But No Regret/@comment-8248793-20170902000646

Sorry this took so long!! <3

SPOILERS

Okay so Mustard is an immediately likeable character and you've definitely done a great job of making us feel as though we are Mustard in the story, experiencing it as he does, despite it being third person. I think he's a good innocent figure right now, but of course I'm hoping to see the development he takes, especially since I think he'll go with the Clan cats.

It's an unique plot! Usually people on this wiki don't touch on kittypets, so I'm happy to see a story that really details a life of a kittypet (I've never written one haha bc i have more of the tough warrior side in me). Of course I'm wondering if Mustard will actually make it back to Katelyn or if he would just end up joining the Clan. I suppose I'll have to find out!

I'd highly suggest going through and fixing the grammarical mistakes. It's not a hassle to read, but it trips up the flow a bit. Another quick suggestion would be to cut down on the exclamation marks, as those tend to be informal and really adds a weird emphasis on a sentence that can function without the !.

But other than that, I think this was a great start! I know I'm supposed to say I cried but I didn't xD I have a cold heart. It was a well written scene though! It was sad to see them abandon Mustard :c

<3 sorry again for taking so long to read this!

END SPOILERS