User blog comment:Tanglefrost/ALL OF YOU NEED TO HELP ME. LIKE RIGHT NOW./@comment-1839575-20130604082822

Try taking small sips of water with huge gulps of air. Or just swallowing air as fast as you can. Then jump up and down a few times and gasp as if you're drowning. Try to make the most horrific drowning noises possible. After this put your head in a plastic bag, create a seal around your neck and breathe shallowly. Don't do it for more than ten breaths or you'll pass out. If none of that works, ask someone to hit you on the head with a mallet for a few hours. I guarantee after that you'll either have the hiccups or you'll have forgotten you ever wanted them in the first place.