Talk:Songpaw's Loyalty/@comment-4751506-20130307230604

Hahaha, I made the very first comment, but now that I've finished the entire thing, I'm going to make another!

I really, really liked this. It's a brilliant story, but obviously, we have to give some critique, right? Not that there's much to give, but I want to point out there were a few minor grammatical / spelling errors that a quick edit or two would take care of. Simple things like forgetting an apostrophe or spelling something wrong, but everybody makes mistakes!

Also, I love her Clanmates. They seem like the perfect mix of supportive friends and hostile companions that are enemies to Songpaw's internal battle, but friends and companions to the external battle she faces - LightningClan, etc. I like Fireflower as well, and I think it was a great idea that she became Songpaw's mentor (but that was a bit preditable. Not that predictability is bad, I just wanted to point that out!).

Overall, this is a marvelous story and I'll be reading the next one soon! :3

(and I'm totally team Trout, he's the best and he's so sweet; Bush is an arrogant fur-ball who, though he has lost a littermate and can relate to Songpaw and her misery, just doesn't seem to have many feelings.)