Talk:Terrastar's Departure/@comment-8248793-20140806001459

SPOILERS

Okay I have to say this was a bit confusing, and I felt that you could make the Clans issue a bit less confusing by explaining about them more. I didn't know if they were DesertClan or in OasisClan half the time.

I also didn't get how they were holding Terrakit's ceremony back in both Clans, isn't he only in one?

Despite all the errors, it was a decent and a pretty good book. I would suggest trying to make the sentences less choppy, and try to focus more on the plotlines then being a bit silly with the talk. You did well with the suspense, and your descriptions aren't too bad.

Other than that, I can't see many mistakes.

END SPOILERS