Talk:What Hurts The Most ~ Avalanchepaw's Loss/@comment-16827713-20130326164858

I'M JUDGING TOO <3. HI.

On the whole, I enjoyed it, but there were a one or two major blips I need to point out.

The begining battle sequence: WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? I'm sorry, but I didn't understand. All i knew was that a few cats had been killed, and that Avalanchepaw was sad afterwards. I think you could've put in a bit more detail into Avalanchepaw becoming a medicine cat too, because to me it felt like that was skirted over a bit. I think Avalanchepaw could've had better reasons for abandoning Stormpaw-but in the end, he doesn't mind about her.

I think you could've included a little more story, just to define each paragraph, like the battle and Avalanchepaw's meddy cat apprenticeship. I think a little more feeling could've been mixed in too.

Score: A good first effort (mine was TERRIBLE) and I liked the way the song fitted with the music. :D A 6.5.