Tallstar Advertises Flavoristic Foods

Wow, another spoof! This came to me while I was eating a banana. Lol I don't know. - Eeveestar

Tallstar: Welcome, unlucky, I mean, totally lucky customers! I am advertising delicious food that Clans cats can now buy in a deserted Twoleg nest filled with cobwebs and spiders and dust that is bound to get all over the food!

Mudclaw: (throws tomato at Tallstar and hits)

Tallstar: (picks up what Mudclaw threw) First, I advertise this round red fruitable! Yep, a mix of a vegetable and a fruit, so it's two times the healthy of one fruit or vegetable! And if you buy one, you get two for DOUBLE the price! I said it! DOUBLE the price! One costs two pieces of prey, but a whopping TWO costs four pieces of prey!

(Ashfur, Larksong, Stonefur, and Mudclaw leave)

Tallstar: Next, I am advertising ice cream! Frosty Twoleg junk that freezes the brain!

Mosskit: Wait, how does that work?

Tallstar: Eat it, and it crawls up to the brain like a spider and eats and eats your brain, and then you can't move, and then your brain goes KABOOOM, and then it bleeds-

(Mosskit runs away crying and Bluestar slaps Tallstar on the face and leaves)

Tall: It comes in many flavors! Rabbit flavor, squirrel flavor, cat flavor, blood flavor-

Redtail: Wait what? O_o

Tall: Thunderpath flavor, and your favorite, roadkill flavor! It even comes in ice-and-cream flavor! (holds up container of ice and cream mixed) Three pieces of prey!

(Stonepelt and Weedwhisker leave)

Tall: Next up, stew my great-great-great-great-one thousand times great-grandmother made!

(Redtail leaves)

Tall: Her food was so great! She made it for me and sent it down from StarClan. (holds up jar of stuff that looks like barf mixed with toilet water)

Snowfur: Is it. . . moving?

Stew: BLLLLAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!! Must eat! JCDHNRFIEKFDBJDJRE!!!!!!!

Tall: (slaps lid on) Just five pieces of prey!

Moonflower: D8

Goosefeather:. ..

(Russetfur leaves)

Tallstar: Another great food is coffee! I found it in a mud puddle.

(Goosefeather, Moonflower, Firestar, Redtail, Cinderpelt, and Spottedleaf leave)

Tall: And last, all you've been waiting for!

(only three cats in crowd - Raggedstar, Swiftpaw, and Oakheart)

Tall: Worms covered in fruitable sauce topped with mud balls! Twolegs call it 'spaghetti' or something. Why would they want to eat worms? Oh well, buy it for all your fresh-kill and half your herbs! (bows) Thank you! Buy at Abandoned Twoleg Nest Now Run by Tallstar!

Raggedstar: Uh, no.

(Swiftpaw leaves, muttering)

Oakheart: O_O'. . . (leaves)