Easier To Lie

Songfic, OA is Aqualung

To bear the weight

And push into the sky

She walks across the path, her eyes bleary. It's okay, because for once, she knows what she's doing. It hurts a little, but she knows she'll be fine. It will be over soon. It has to be over.

It's easier to lie

​"Where are you going, Skyleaf?"

"Just for a walk. Won't be long."

Easier to lie

They believe words spoken so easily, that she doesn't have to bother with wasting time. It will be over soon. The ravine is ready, and the the river rushing.

"Just a walk?"

"Just a walk."

And honestly

To look you in the eye

Nobody notices as she walks. She's fine with that. But every flicker, every crack keeps her alert. Seeing gleaming colours in the darkness is alarming. Someone will try to stop her. She can't stop... She wants to die.

It's easier to lie

"Hey, Clan cat! What are you doing at this hour?"

"Walking."

<p style="text-align:center;">"Can I join you?"

<p style="text-align:center;">"...No."

<p style="text-align:center;">Easier to lie

<p style="text-align:center;">"Hiding something?"

<p style="text-align:center;">"I'm fine."

<p style="text-align:center;">"No you're not."

<p style="text-align:center;">"Go away."

<p style="text-align:center;">To be the one

<p style="text-align:center;">To be the only one

<p style="text-align:center;">Skyleaf keeps walking. She is followed by the rouge, who will not give up. She keeps going, hoping to lose the cat in the darkness. She is the only one left. She wants to die.

<p style="text-align:center;">Someone has to give a lot

<p style="text-align:center;">Something has to give a lot

<p style="text-align:center;">She keeps going, her mind searching out escape routes. The rouge keeps pace with her, not letting her out of her sight. Skyleaf doesn't like it. The rouge doesn't matter.

<p style="text-align:center;">And who am I

<p style="text-align:center;">To give you what you need?

<p style="text-align:center;">"Please stop following me."

<p style="text-align:center;">"But I'm worried."

<p style="text-align:center;">"Stop that."

<p style="text-align:center;">"...No."

<p style="text-align:center;">Well, I'm learning

<p style="text-align:center;">Just learning

<p style="text-align:center;">Spotting a tangle of brambles, Skyleaf darts through them, hoping the rouge will leave her. When she gets out the other side, the rouge is gone. While Skyleaf feels pleased... it makes her feel empty.

<p style="text-align:center;">She still wants to die.

<p style="text-align:center;">Learning how to live

<p style="text-align:center;">And to bear the weight

<p style="text-align:center;">And push into the sky

<p style="text-align:center;">She walks faster now, changing her route to the ravine. She has to get there, before it's too late. It hurts too much, and she wants to to finally stop hurting. And then she hears a voice.

<p style="text-align:center;">It's easier to lie

<p style="text-align:center;">"Please stop running."

<p style="text-align:center;">"Leave me alone!"

<p style="text-align:center;">"Let me help you!"

<p style="text-align:center;">"You can't help me."

<p style="text-align:center;">Easier to lie

<p style="text-align:center;">"I want to help you."

<p style="text-align:center;">"I don't need help."

<p style="text-align:center;">"Please, Clan cat."

<p style="text-align:center;">"I'm fine!"

<p style="text-align:center;">And honestly

<p style="text-align:center;">To look you in the eye

<p style="text-align:center;">Their eyes lock, and Skyleaf bites back a sob. The flood of emotion inside of her is too much, and she doesn't like it. She hates it. Why does it hurt?

<p style="text-align:center;">Why can't she just kill herself?

<p style="text-align:center;">It's easier to lie

<p style="text-align:center;">"You need my help."

<p style="text-align:center;">"I need to escape."

<p style="text-align:center;">"I'm not letting you do this."

<p style="text-align:center;">"You have no idea what I'm doing."

<p style="text-align:center;">Easier to lie

<p style="text-align:center;">"Please stop fighting me."

<p style="text-align:center;">"I need to get away from you!"

<p style="text-align:center;">"I want to save your life!"

<p style="text-align:center;">"...Why?"

<p style="text-align:center;">To fill the space

<p style="text-align:center;">The space you made for me

<p style="text-align:center;">Skyleaf stares, and watches the rouge. The rouge's eyes are sympathetic, and longing. The rouge doesn't want her to die. It's ridiculous. The rouge doesn't know her. The rouge doesn't know anything.

<p style="text-align:center;">But Skyleaf bites back a snarl.

<p style="text-align:center;">"Why do you want to save me?"

<p style="text-align:center;">I try to be the one you want

<p style="text-align:center;">I try to be the way you want

<p style="text-align:center;">The rouge shivers as the wind blows between them. The moon shines down on the two cats, and the rouge suddenly looks away, face pushed into agony.

<p style="text-align:center;">"I have to."

<p style="text-align:center;">And maybe I

<p style="text-align:center;">Could be the one you need

<p style="text-align:center;">Skyleaf blinks. She doesn't understand, but she's willing to wait. This rouge seems to understand her, and nobody else does at this time. So she waits.

<p style="text-align:center;">If you'd only

<p style="text-align:center;">Show me

<p style="text-align:center;">"Why are you here?"

<p style="text-align:center;">"I have to save you."

<p style="text-align:center;">"I'm just a Clan cat."

<p style="text-align:center;">"...Because I never saved my sister."

<p style="text-align:center;">Show me how to live

<p style="text-align:center;">And to bear the weight

<p style="text-align:center;">And push into the sky

<p style="text-align:center;">Skyleaf freezes, and looks at the rouge. The rouge has gone stone-cold, eyes trained on the ground. The desperation derails her voice.

<p style="text-align:center;">"I never saved her... so let me save you."

<p style="text-align:center;">It's easier to lie

<p style="text-align:center;">"What's your name?"

<p style="text-align:center;">"S-Skyleaf."

<p style="text-align:center;">"That's a nice name."

<p style="text-align:center;">"Yours?"

<p style="text-align:center;">Easier to lie

<p style="text-align:center;">"Rin."

<p style="text-align:center;">"And you want to save me...?"

<p style="text-align:center;">"Because I never saved her."

<p style="text-align:center;">And do what's right

<p style="text-align:center;">When everything is wrong

<p style="text-align:center;">Skyleaf looks at Rin, and feels a rush of sympathy. Rin doesn't want to lose anyone else. They might be rouge and Clan cat, but at the end, they're both living creatures.

<p style="text-align:center;">Or at least, Rin is living.

<p style="text-align:center;">It's easier to run

<p style="text-align:center;">It's easier to never have

<p style="text-align:center;">To look you in the eye

<p style="text-align:center;">"But you don't know me."

<p style="text-align:center;">"You're just like my sister. Showing every sign..."

<p style="text-align:center;">"Your sister..."

<p style="text-align:center;">"Her name was Adrian."

<p style="text-align:center;">It's easier to lie

<p style="text-align:center;">"Adrian?"

<p style="text-align:center;">"Yes..."

<p style="text-align:center;">"She was... like me?"

<p style="text-align:center;">"She followed Celeste to the grave."

<p style="text-align:center;">Easier to lie

<p style="text-align:center;">"Adrian is dead."

<p style="text-align:center;">"But why me? Why follow me?"

<p style="text-align:center;">"I don't want any more like her."

<p style="text-align:center;">"I..."

<p style="text-align:center;">To bear the weight

<p style="text-align:center;">Skyleaf stares at Rin for a few moments. And then, she sighs. The rouge means well, as hard as it is for her to believe. But she's afraid. Going back means revealing her weakness. But going to the ravine... means failing Rin.

<p style="text-align:center;">"Go home, Skyleaf."

<p style="text-align:center;">And push into the sky

<p style="text-align:center;">And so, Skyleaf listens. She returns, despite what she wants. Rin may have gotten her to live for now, but it won't be long before it crashes down again on her. But she sees her family, and something in her warms up. Maybe she has a chance to live after all.

<p style="text-align:center;">It's easier to lie

<p style="text-align:center;">"Where were you?"

<p style="text-align:center;">"On my walk."

<p style="text-align:center;">"Oh right. Just a walk?"

<p style="text-align:center;">"...Just a walk."