Talk:SwiftyXCrystal/@comment-24317997-20130527200910

I'm gonna be a critique here.

You shouldn't jump right into the love- a nice, flowing beginning would be nice. Maybe about Swifty having a flashback of his dying clan? That way, the story wouldn't be so abrupt. Then, when they meet, they shouldn't love eachother immediatly, but if you're doing the "love at first sight" path, I guess you can do it with preferably one cat. Fix up the grammar and spelling mistakes. Other than that, this is looking good~