Talk:The day the clans discovered apple products/@comment-24645319-20131216083506

This sounds good, but try to split up the lines whenever a new character speaks. Otherwise it'll get too confusing, and if it's chunked up it'll be difficult to read. Here is an example:

"MAMA!" Foxkit wailed. "Icekit stole my new toy!"

"What new toy?" Ferncloud asked.

If it's the same character speaking at a time, you keep those quotes in the same paragraph. When a different character begins speaking, new line.

This is really funny btw. :)

There is a few mistakes though. Do you want me to fix them up?