Talk:Two Hearts Divided/@comment-5488450-20130726162913


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Wow, this was really impressive. Like really, really impressive. The emotions, descriptions settings was all really good!

Some things I certainly liked about this was how well you described the surroundings, actions and emotions. The cats are all very well characterized, particularly Hollypaw, and Darkstars decision to keep silent was real cool, I thought! I also thought the italics and the beginning were cool and professional.

There were minimal errors in this occasionally you'd write Sparrow-flight and there was a place you added like five exclamation points after a statement, which I personally don't suggest doing. The only other thing I can point out is maybe slowing down a little, but other than that great!

I wish you good luck in the contest :)


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