Talk:Lightningstar's Destiny/@comment--20150901004709

Just a suggestion, maybe you could put all the 'talking' on their own lines.

So, I noticed a couple of errors like-

"The only queens we have are Brackenwing and Firetail." "But Fernwing's got a full litter, and Firetail and Timberpelt are grieving over the loss of one kit." You said Brackenwing one time and Fernwing the next.

and just in general you accidently missed a letter.

It has good work so far, and I can't wait to read more.