Talk:Despondency/@comment-25630395-20170518001019

SPOILERS

This is like. really. dang. good.

First, let me get little nitpicks out of the way. Your first sentence I think is a typo- I'm pretty sure the sentence should end before 'cats'. There's also some awkward phrasing at points, the repetition of the word victory in the last sentence of the third paragraph stood out. But those are easy fixes.

You did such a great job of making me care so deeply about characters I barely know. Goldenwing wasn't even in the story but I was so heartbroken when she was found dead. I really felt Ravenstar's pain and anxiety when searching for her mate. The repetition of 'golden pelts' was powerful, and I kept hoping that it was Goldenwing- but nooo, you are an evil writer, Firey.

I love how you wove in memories of Goldenwing with the terrible battlefield scenery around Ravenstar. It created such an impactful effect. I think that's part of the reason why I cared so much about Goldenwing and Ravenstar- I understood the depth of their bond and hated seeing it end.

500%, Firey, THIS IS AMAZING.

END SPOILERS