Love That Lets Go

''This is the eighth episode of Vale, season 3. Written by Rainy. Read, enjoy, & comment! ''

Love That Lets Go
Viperstar was fast, but so was I.

Within no time, I'd closed the distance between us. I gathered my weight back on my haunches and launched myself into the air. I flew into my quarry with the force of a boulder, sending us both skidding.

Viperstar went limp in my grasp, already weakened by his imprisonment. There was no room left for mercy within me. I slammed his head against the ground, shouting, "Where is it? Where is the Life-Rock?"

Blood trickled from the GreenClan cat's mouth. His head tilted to the side as his eyes glazed with shock and pain.

"TELL ME WHERE IT IS!" I screamed. Faces flashed across my mind. Oakstar, my parents, my Clanmates. I couldn't let them down, I just couldn't.

"BREEZEFLIGHT!" Daisypaw dragged me off of Viperstar. "What is wrong with you?"

Blinking dazedly, I whispered, "I had to. I need to know where it is, and he won't tell me."

My best friend, who I'd known since kithood and considered closer than a sister, was looking at me like she'd never seen me before. "There's another way. You don't need to be this ruthless. Oakstar--what would he think if he saw you like that?"

Specklepaw, Cammy, and Ryan were approaching slowly. Specklepaw's face filled with questioning as he took in the scene. "Breezeflight?"

I hung my head, unable to face my lifelong friend with the blood of a Clan cat--not SpringClan, but a Clan cat all the same--splattering my paws and my eyes still glinting with madness and bloodlust.

Laying her tail over my shoulder, Daisypaw murmured, "Perhaps you should take over, Specklepaw."

Gulping, Specklepaw admitted, "Maybe I should. Cammy, Ryan and I will handle this. Daisypaw, take Breezeflight home. Tell our Clanmates what's going on, and make sure things are okay. Also, check if Oakstar's back."

Make sure Breezeflight's okay, he told Daisypaw with his eyes. She nodded.

Shaking and fighting back a wave of nausea, I buried my face in my friend's silky cream fur. Daisypaw licked me on the ear. "Let's go home."

On the ground, Viperstar was beginning to stir feebly. Specklepaw placed his paw on the tom's flank. "We'll get the Life-Rock. You guys hurry and get back to the camp."

With a nod, Daisypaw began leading me towards home.

"I failed."

"No, you didn't."

"Don't." I turned away from Daisypaw, shaking my head. "You have too much faith in me, Daisypaw, and you always have. But it's unfounded faith. I ruined everything tonight."

"Oakstar came to you in your dreams, Breezeflight. He trusted you, and you're the reason any of us knew about Viperstar or the Life-Rock. We wouldn't have known what was going on or what to do without you to guide us."

"I hurt Ryan and Cammy. I went insane when I was dealing with Viperstar." Trembling, I said, "It was like while I was doing those things, I wasn't me anymore, Daisypaw. And the worst part is, I feel like I've been losing pieces of myself for a long time."

Daisypaw shook her head. "Oh, Breezeflight... You'll never lose yourself, okay? Look at me. No, I'm serious. Look at me. Remember me? I'm the cat you played with as a kit. Remember moss-ball and tag and chasing each other with feathers dipped in berry juice? We're sisters with absolutely nothing in between us. You have me. You have the Vale Squad. You have Ivyrose and Goldenburst and Dewfrost. Cats who love you. You'll never be alone. We're the frame of your heart, and we'll hold you together when the rest comes unraveled."

I felt like I was choking. "Thank you," I managed. It wasn't nearly enough, but Daisypaw seemed to understand the unspoken emotion in my voice.

Blackheart and Lilyshade approached us. "Are the two of you all right?" asked Lilyshade concernedly.

I hadn't talked to the pair of them much since the Clan had been kicked out of our old territory, which was strange, considering I saw them everyday now, because of the fact that we depended on them to teach us to survive out in the plains. I wondered what it was like for them, suddenly being surrounded by SpringClan again after they'd fought so hard to escape.

So far, Duskwatcher hadn't attacked Lilyshade or started screaming at her for Shinecloud's murder. But that was only because he was so out of it these days that he barely recognized Bluebird.

Speaking of Bluebird, I spotted the tom slipping out of the makeshift medicine cat's den, pieces of gorse stuck to his strangely disheveled fur and with weariness clouding his usually bright blue eyes.

While Daisypaw talked with Lilyshade and Blackheart, I made my way over to Bluebird. "You look like a wreck. Getting something to help you sleep better?" I asked.

"Nah, Cherrynose asked me to check on Minkpaw."

"Is she feeling better?"

"Now that she's stopped coughing, she's found enough of her voice to start insulting me again," Bluebird reported crossly, a scowl creasing his brow.

I chuckled. "So she's back to normal, in other words."

"Basically." The tom stifled a yawn. "StarClan, I'm exhausted."

"Didn't you sleep last night? Maybe you're coming down with something too," I said worriedly.

He gave me a lopsided smile. "I just need a catnap. I'll be passed out in the warriors' den if anyone needs me." He trotted away.

I was about to poke my head into Lionpatch's den and ask Minkpaw how she was feeling when Quailfeather came sliding down the sides of the rock quarry, sending pebbles shooting out from under her paws. She landed with a heavy thud, her eyes wild. "Assemble a battle patrol!" she yowled.

Immediately, Daisypaw and Ivyrose were at my side. "Why? What's going on?" demanded Ivyrose.

"I've just spoken with Fire--yes, Breezeflight, Oakstar told me about her status as a double agent. She's found an open window where Claron's guard is limited. And that hour is now. We're striking and taking back High-Rock."

"Now?" Hawkeye's tone brimmed with excitement. He sharpened his claws. "Let's do it."

Nudging me, Daisypaw said, "Breezeflight, maybe you should stay back. You've had a long night, and-"

"Are you kidding me? This is my chance to redeem myself. I'm going," I announced.

"All right, Breezeflight, Hawkeye, you're both coming," Quailfeather said. "Ivyrose, Dewfrost, Yellowsun, and Bluebird can come with us too. We need security back here in case the rogues are pulling a trick and try to take our camp, though. Duskwatcher, guard the elders' den. Daisypaw, guard the medicine cat's den. Goldenburst, guard the nursery along with Eveningfall and Cloverflower. Cranelegs and Thistleblossom, guard the camp entrance and make sure no one gets this far."

Dipping his head, Goldenburst said, "I understand, Quailfeather. As you wish."

The she-cat nodded. "Blackheart, Lilyshade, you come with the battle patrol. We might need some practical aid, as well as messengers. You two know the terrain best, so you'll be perfect for that. Plus, once we take High-Rock, you guys should find Oakstar and make sure he's all right." She hesitated as she said the words, as if wondering whether her former Clanmates would take her orders--after all, she wasn't even a leader, and Blackheart and Lilyshade weren't even SpringClan cats.

But Blackheart didn't miss a beat as he nodded. "Got it."

"Right, good. Let's move out."

I ran between Dewfrost and Ivyrose as the battle patrol struck out. The adrenaline pumping through my veins made the trip to High-Rock seem a lot shorter than usual, the peak standing out like a dark tooth against the rising sun.

Fire was waiting for us, her pelt gleaming like her namesake, her eyes like burning coals. "We don't have much time. I've knocked out all the guards I can, but it won't be long before the others realize what's going on and assemble a defense. Follow me!"

I can't explain how strange it was, just walking onto High-Rock like that. The instant I crossed back over the old border, into familiar territory, I felt a rush of rejuvenating strength run up my paws and into my body.

I'm home.

Of course, there wasn't time for nostalgia and celebration. The rogues were upon us in no time.

"How could you do this?" yelled one of them. "Traitor! You will pay!" The gray she-cat lunged at Fire.

I wanted to help, but Fire didn't need my assistance. She flung her hindlegs into the gray rogue's throat, then flipped the cat onto her back. The sound of the she-cat's spine hitting the hard rock made my own vertebrae ache in sympathy.

Another rogue collided with me. I turned and sunk my claws into his shoulder, letting the fighting instinct take over my body.

"Retreat!" Below us, a rogue was yowling the call. "Fall back to the pine woods! Get off High-Rock before you die, fools!"

"Rubbish! Claron would be ashamed of us if we retreated! The League will not fall-"

The protester was cut off abruptly as Quailfeather shoved him off one of High-Rock's cliffs.

Soon, all the rogues were gone, streaking towards the pine woods. I could hardly believe it. We had won back High-Rock. It seemed far too easy, for some reason.

If there was one thing I had learned, it was that nothing was ever easy.

"Find Oakstar," Quailfeather told Blackheart and Lilyshade, who nodded and immediately disappeared behind High-Rock's many caves and hidden crevices. "Hawkeye, go back to the rest of the Clan and tell them it's safe to meet us on High-Rock. We'll make temporary camp here, so make sure the queens and elders bring some bedding and moss for the kits to play with."

Hawkeye dipped his head at Quailfeather and darted down the rocky slope.

I turned to Fire. "What's with the impromptu attack?"

She shrugged. "I figured it was time you guys got back a bit of your old home. Something to give you a taste of the victory you must fight for. I saw the opportunity, and I took it."

"I still don't understand how you managed not to be caught for so long."

She frowned slightly. "Claron will be merciless if she ever meets me again. They know my true loyalties now."

When I gave her a puzzled look at her choice of words, she amended, "What I meant to say was, my loyalties are not to the League. But they are not to you or your Clan either. My allegiance was for no one but my family--and that, whether through betrayal or death, is gone too. Now I live for myself and die for release."

"How about you don't die at all?" I suggested.

The smallest of smiles tugged at the corners of Fire's mouth. "We shall have to wait and see, Breezeflight."

"Breezeflight," said a hoarse, familiar tom's voice.

I whirled around. "Oakstar!" I thought I would melt into a puddle of relief and joy.

A purr rumbled in the tom's throat, despite the fact that there were bloody scratches across his pelt. "I wasn't expecting a rescue."

"We would never have just left you with the rogues," Quailfeather said scoffingly, as if Oakstar was being absurd.

We heard a shout in the direction of the plains, and saw Hawkeye leading the remaining members of our Clan towards us.

One by one, each member of SpringClan crossed the border back into our rightful territory. The elders grumbled about the strain on their old bones as they climbed High-Rock, but their beaming faces made it sort of hard to take their complaints seriously. The kits skipped and scrambled ahead of the queens, with Cranelegs and Cloverflower taking turns scolding a rambunctious Brightkit. "We're back! SpringClan's back!" she singsonged, slapping my paw with her own.

"That's right. Back and here to stay," I told her, whiskers twitching.

Once the Clan got settled, Quailfeather got to work setting up guard posts and lookouts. Oakstar had to cut short his reunion with Mintwhisker to hold a battle conference with some of our top warriors.

Meanwhile, I sat at the base of High-Rock, gazing with worried eyes out at the horizon. Where were Specklepaw and the others?

As if she could hear the loudness of my desperate thoughts, Daisypaw came and sat beside me. "I'm scared too. What if something happened?"

Minkpaw joined us. "This is why you should've taken me with you," she muttered darkly. "How will they get anything accomplished without me?" But I could see from the look in her golden eyes that she was concerned for our friends too.

Deciding to change the subject before all three of us got too emotional, I said, "Are you feeling any better, Minkpaw?"

"Somewhere between wanting to hack up a hairball and wanting to vomit," she said nonchalantly. "I've had better days, but I'll survive."

Surviving was quite underrated, I had learned in recent days. Sometimes it took so much out of you to simply keep breathing...

"I wonder where Claron is right now. She wasn't at High-Rock today, or she would've commanded her rogues to keep fighting. She never would've let them call a retreat," said Daisypaw.

A nasty feeling spread through me, thinking of both Claron and my friends out there somewhere. What if they ran into her? "Maybe she's back at our original SpringClan camp? It wouldn't surprise me if she's set up the League headquarters there. That arrogant, cocky old fox-heart."

Just then, we heard someone call our names. "Minkpaw! Daisypaw! Breezeflight! Vale Squad's all here!" Specklepaw came racing towards us, Cammy and Ryan on his heels.

"Where's Viperstar?" I demanded.

"Nice to see you too. Yes, we're fine, thank you for asking. Managed to survive the night. Oh, and Viperstar did manage to run away... But we got it!"

For a second, I had no idea what he was talking about. Then, "You got the Life-Rock?"

"Your voice gets way too high-pitched when you're excited," Minkpaw lamented, shoving me to shut me up.

"Here it is." Specklepaw set down the Life-Rock.

At first, I thought it was some kind of joke. But I could tell by the looks on my friends' faces that they were dead serious.

Daisypaw was the first to speak. "I, erm, thought it would be... bigger. More impressive."

She had a point. The Life-Rock looked tiny. It was the size of two of my paws pressed together. It was an ugly shade of mauve, and its surface was rough and unpolished.

It looked like something dug from the very bottom of a creekbed, not a rock that held the answer to all of our problems. I was so angry and disappointed that I almost threw it off High-Rock's tallest cliff.

Instead, I picked it up and approached Oakstar. "Here," I said.

When he only stared at me, I said, "It's the Life-Rock."

"You can have your lives back," Specklepaw explained.

Oakstar gazed at us for a long moment, and his eyes became suspiciously shiny. That wasn't something I ever thought I'd see: my Clan leader tearing up.

"Thank you so much for bringing this back," he said. "But... I don't want it for myself."

"What? But you still had lives left before StarClan got cut off from us," I protested.

"I do need StarClan's help, but not so that I'll have lives left."

"But Oakstar..."

"Please, apprentices. None of the older warriors will listen to me if I tell them this. They'll think I've gone senile, that I'm being ridiculous. So I'm trusting the group of you. Let me follow my own path and fulfill my own destiny."

"I don't understand," whispered Minkpaw. "What are you going to use the Life-Rock for?"

"That's for me to know-"

"And us to find out?" finished Specklepaw resignedly.

The faintest twinkle entered Oakstar's gaze. "Yes."

Ryan and Cammy were silent, but their faces were drawn with sadness. Even though they weren't Clan cats, I knew they both respected Oakstar. Our leader just had that way about him; he was so just and kind that all cats couldn't help but notice it.

It was ten times worse for me and the Vale Squad. I felt something twisting my heart into a knot. "So you're going to use the Life-Rock to defeat Claron somehow."

"You'll see," Oakstar said.

"When will we see?"

"Soon. Very soon. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, Claron is preparing to attack us right now," Oakstar said, glancing towards the pine woods stretching below us.

He cleared his throat. "A word from the wise--or at least, the wise-ish. There are times when you need to hold on, and there are times when you need to let go. Love means knowing which is which and choosing what's best, not what you want."

On the surface, it appeared that he was just giving us advice, but I think all of us saw past his brave charade, down to the true meaning of his heartfelt words. A quiet, hidden good-bye.

"If- if something happens during the battle, I'll tell Mintwhisker you said that," Daisypaw promised.

"Thank you," he said. He picked up the Life-Rock in his jaws. I gazed at it, a purple lump in between his teeth.

So insignificant-looking. Where was its power? Had the great LionClan merely given us a lump of coal disguised as amethyst for a gift? I found it so hard to believe that that ugly thing was our link to StarClan.

Hawkeye came bursting in on us. "Quailfeather wants you, Oakstar."

Oakstar nodded, trotting past him.

Turning to the rest of us, Hawkeye said, "You guys should join the rest of the Clan too. Claron's rogues are marching on us. It's time to fight."

The End