Talk:With the Spirit of a Fox/@comment-5488450-20121219231802

Where do you get these ideas Nighty? And then you say you want to be me for a day so that you can pick my head clean. Psht. You are more than well off. :D

So obviously, my favorite part was how creative this is… Like how did you think of the fox thing? And then using Midnight, and making Hawktalon evil n’ shctuff! It was so creative. I love every idea put into this story, starting from Aaro’s personality to having him blamed for the death.

I also think you did a great job with characterization. Aaro, Hawktalon, Redstar and Midnight all have distinct, unusual personalities that leave a scar in your mind, so that you will never forget any of them. And in doing so it prevents you from forgetting about the story. Their development is also great although Hawktalon never really did learn her lesson :P

And I also LOVED LOVED LOVED the ending. Suspenseful. It kept me hanging and holding onto the second one, helping me zip right through it. It gives you all the questions you need the answers to. What is Aaro’s past? Why did Hawktalon get kicked out of Thunderclan? Who is Clawstar and what does he want of his daughter?

My critique would be the lack of detail, which is visible in the shorter chapters. You did great explaining the characters over time but sometimes I failed to picture what was going on because you didn’t really explain the scene of how everything around them looked and felt. I didn’t waste time reading detail after detail but I think you could expand the amount of description you have a little bit more. This FanFic is still amazing and one that I will remember even when I grow to be a 300 year old turtle :D