Talk:Ginger Dawn/@comment-13842139-20130623133810

This is very good so far! But I have some CC too.

The first chapter is good, though it seems a bit fast to happen. Maybe making the GingerxDawn love a bit slower will make good in later chapters. One other thing is how Gingerstripe swoons over Dawnpaw, so maybe, like in the later part of the chapter, when Gingerstripe gets all angry and stuff, hissing yowling, etc, Dawnpaw made Gingerstripe happier right away, you should keep him in the mood he was before.

I'm really sorry if that sounded mean or rude, this is a very good story. It's very descriptive, and the first-person narrating fits very well in the story. Keep it up! It's great! :)