Talk:Concave/@comment-26432133-20170407005541

(Contest Comment)

SPOILERS

PROLOGUE

Blizzardleaf is a very interesting character. He's not ashamed of his beliefs at all, and holds to StarClan so tightly that he uses them as an excuse.

CHAPTER ONE

Oo, I can see the psychology-loving Moo seeping into the story. I like the detail and touches of metaphors in this chapter. Your writing is lovely btw :D

Blizzardleaf is getting even more intriguing. He's cold and calculating, and focuses very hard on his helpful medicine cat facade while hiding his beliefs. I also really want to slap him for being so biased and such a jerk.

The explanation of a molly-mesmeriser was a little unnecessary, as it's not hard to guess and holds up the story for a bit. But Blizzardleaf's homophobic views are an interesting insight. I'm wondering how this story will go along, as I can easily see him becoming a villain.

JUDGING:

While I don't see how much of a villain Blizzardleaf is, he is most definitely not a nice guy. His outlook on the LGBT and mental disorders is a stark contrast from his medicine cat role, as medicine cats are usually soft and kind. As only a prologue and a chapter have been written, Blizzardleaf hasn't done anything bad so far, but he probably will later on. This is definitely not a cliche story and a very unique story, as it's rare you get the view of a homophobe and a narrator who grates on your nerves like this.

OVERALL THOUGHTS

I'd love to see where this story goes if you decide to continue writing it. So far it's pretty good, Moo!