Wildpaw Puppet Pals in: Warrior Swears

This is a parody on: Wizard Swears by The Potter Puppet Pals. -- Wolffur

* Wildpaw and Autumnpaw are laying under the fresh-kill tree, with nothing to do*

* Jaypaw walks toward them*

Jaypaw: Hey guys, Sunstar told me a list of words that are banned from WildClan! I didn't know warriors had swears!

Wildpaw: Of course they do, Jaypaw! They are called Warrior Swears!

Autumnpaw: Oh, like Kittypet Hunter!

Jaypaw: Really? That's adorable!

Wildpaw: Oh, there worse then that! Read some, Jaypaw!

Jaypaw: Let's see... Son Of A Fox! That's useful!

Wildpaw: My favorite is Pounce And Bite!

Birchfur: Eh hem hem... Did I detect foul mouthingness?

Wildpaw: Oh no! Birch-

Jaypaw: Goldpaw's Kittypet Food!

Birchfur: Excuse me?

Wildpaw: Jaypaw! *Bite Jaypaw*

Birchfur: I refuse to have this crowfood spewed in my presence, Jaypaw. 500,000 extra training sessions for you and your friends!

* Pause*

Autumnpaw: Badger Boogies!

* Everybody looks at Autumnpaw*

Jaypaw: Everybody run! *Shouts at Birchfur* Expecto Kittypet!

Birchfur: *Sighs* Crowfood Rousers!

* Apprentices are giggling*

Jaypaw: That was fun! Oh, hi Eaglepaw!

Eaglepaw: Oh, hi Jaypaw, Wildpaw and Autumnpaw! What's up, guys?

Autumnpaw: We're saying naughty words like Jiggle The Voles!

* Eaglepaw gasps*

Eaglepaw: My mom forbids me for saying naughty words!

Jaypaw: Well, your mom is a Grumpy Badger!

* Eaglepaw gasps again*

Wildpaw: Don't worry, Eaglepaw! Jaypaw is just trying out some Warrior Swears!

Jaypaw: I mean every word I ever say ever, because I’m *Pause* Jaypaw!

* Sound of thunder in the background*

Eaglepaw: I’m telling Sunstar!

Autumnpaw: You’re such a Mouse-head!

Eaglepaw: But this is against the Warrior Code!

Jaypaw: I can’t let you do this, Eaglepaw!

Eaglepaw: Oh no, no, no. I don’t like to swear. My mom doesn’t like me to swear...

Jaypaw: Are you a WildClan cat or not, Eaglepaw?

Eaglepaw: I am a WildClan cat. Bu-bu-...

Jaypaw: Try it then. Here’s the list. Say anything. *Whispers list*

Wildpaw: Come on, Eaglepaw! Do it.

Nevile: S-Silv-verstripe's C-Claws!

* Autumnpaw and Wildpaw cheer*

Jaypaw: You sicken’ me!

Eaglepaw: But... But... It’s on the list!

Jaypaw: Silverstripe is more the tom then you’ll ever be, Eaglepaw!

* Eaglepaw sighs*

Jaypaw: Leave and never return to WildClan again ever, Eaglepaw!

*Eaglepaw starts wailing and walks away

(Autumnpaw and Wildpaw cheer in joy)

Wildpaw: You’re quite the tom today, Jaypaw!

Autumnpaw: Yeah! You’re full with tomish attitude!

Jaypaw: Hey! Let's irritate someone!

* The apprentices sneak toward Scratchclaw*

Scratchclaw: Hey! Who's there?

Jaypaw: Badger Urine!

* Jaypaw, Wildpaw, and Autumnpaw giggle silently*

Scratchclaw: What? If I ever find out who’s talking to me, I will make sure you will get exiled! And I will kill you!

* Birchfur and Sunstar walks toward the apprentices*

* Autumnpaw, Jaypaw and Wildpaw gasp*

Sunstar: Birchfur would like to have a word with you, apprentices.

Wildpaw: Oh, Fish Scales!

Birchfur: That is exactly the sort of crowfood that I want to ban, from the distinguished trees and leaves of WildClan territory. The traditions of the Clan must be up-held, and respected. The founder surly wil-

Jaypaw: You’re a Kittypet *Beep* And a Loner *Beep* mixed together, Birchfur!

Birchfur: What?!?!?!?!?

Jaypaw: You Floppy Wandering Kittypet Fighter!

* Everyone looks at Jaypaw*

* A long pause from everyone*

Autumnpaw: Rabbit Full Maggots!

Birchfur: Sunstar, I urge you to exile these monsters!

Sunstar: Nah Birchfur. Let them have their fun.

Birchfur: But you the one who banned the words in the first place!

Sunstar: I don’t even remember five heartbeats ago. Back to order patrols.

* Birchfur walks away growling*

Wildpaw: Thank you so much, Sunstar!

Sunstar: Alas! Your welcome!

Jaypaw: Sunstar, your older then StarClan, right?

Sunstar: Why, Yes.

Jaypaw: Do you know any, super ancient, lost to the ages, archaic, olden times Warrior Swears?

Sunstar: Eh, well there is one.

Autumnpaw: I want to hear it!

Sunstar: The StarClan Swear.

(Mystical music starts playing)

Sunstar: You must promise to never repeat it to anyone!

Wildpaw: We won’t, Sunstar!

Sunstar: Here it is. *Takes a deep breath* Your Mother Is A *beep beep beeping beep* Kittypet *beep beep beep* And Loner *beep beep beep beep* Mixed Together *beep beep beep beep beep beep* And A Big Mistake Of StarClan *beep beep beep beep beep beep* A Kittypet Fighter *beep beep beep* And Kittypet Hunter *beep beep beep beep* And A Floppy Wandering *beep beep beep beep beep* Rabbit Full Maggots*beep beep beep beep beep* Badger Urine *beep beep beep* Twoleg Loving *beep beep* Warrior Code Breaker *beep beep* And *beep beep beep beep beep* A *beep beep beep beep beep* Mouse-head!

* Everyone freezes*

* Sunstar sighs, and gasps for air*

Autumnpaw: Wo-o-o-ow!

Sunstar: Now, you know. You must never ever repeat it, okay?

(Mystical music starts up again)

Jaypaw: We promise.

* Eaglepaw walks toward Wildpaw, Autumnpaw and Jaypaw*

* Pause*

Autumnpaw, Jaypaw and Wildpaw: Your Mother Is A *beep beep beeping beep* Kittypet *beep beep beep* And Loner *beep beep beep beep* Mixed Together *beep beep beep beep beep beep* And A Big Mistake Of StarClan *beep beep beep beep beep beep* A Kittypet Fighter *beep beep beep*.....