Talk:Just Believe Me/@comment-5342796-20160729141507



chapter one

Boy, you really know how to open a story. I was intrigued from the first line. And your writing is so pretty, the paragraph of scenery description at the beginning was written beautifully, and I really liked the details you provided on how DawnClan's camp is set up. It actually tells us a lot about them -- their secrecy, their reservations, their organization, their determination.

Rippleshine is just an A+ main character already in my mind. She's unconventional in that she's completely realistic; she has flaws, she too is like, what the heck is going on? instead of always hey, I know what to do!

The whole Prophecy-Teller thing is so :O What is with that? So Prophecy-Teller has been around so long that no one really knows what he does, but also doesn't know what to do without him... I wonder what his death means. If he did fake his own death, why? And whatever the reason is, couldn't he tell DawnClan before? I am very intrigued and eager to find out more about these so-called snaketongues :/ They seem shady...

Go Rippleshine! Get out of the sheltered camp and find adventure!

But don't ''die. ''Still very tense about the first line,,, oh boy...

I loved the opening chapter; I'm already fully hooked and invested in the characters and their story. The warriors are obviously very protective about DawnClan and its customs, and that kind of closed environment makes me want to be a part of DawnClan and defend it too, if that makes sense. The reader really understands that the Clan is very unique and unified, and doesn't want that system to be disrupted.

Can't wait to read more!