User blog:Stareh/One Day This Will All Be Just Bittersweet Memories

Hey, guys. I'm sure a lot of you have heard about all the stuff that happened yesterday. Fights, a resigned admin, demoted rights, and maybe some of you heard that I was leaving.

Forest told me to sleep on it. She demanded that I not make up my mind about whether or not I was leaving right away. So I thought about it, all last night. And after making my decision, I ended up crying myself to sleep.

Yes, I'm leaving.

One reason is - four weeks into high school and my grades are already drooping miserably. If I eliminate the one thing that causes me distractions - WFW - then I'll have more time for homework. Guys, I started looking at colleges yesterday. They're not cheap. God knows I won't be getting a sports schollarship. The only way I'll ever be able to afford college is to get such good grades that I get a schollarship. I need to buckle down.

Second reason - I can't handle the drama. Honestly I can't. I get enough of it during the day at school and at home, and I come here to get away from my real life, but all I've been getting recently is more arguments and hurt feelings and fights. And there's a side of me that always tries to fix everything and help everyone - someone's gone through a tough break up, I'm always there on Facebook to play therapist for an hour. Someone died (Oh, guess what? Remember Michael, his dad killed himself? This guy I like - I mean like like - his dad died of a heartattack last night. Everyone's dads are dropping like flies.) I'm always trying to coax myself into going up to them and giving them a hug and telling them I understand. Someone's crying because someone else is being so mean to them, I'm always there with a freaking shovel to try to beat the other person down. And as I said to Bird last night - the wiki is crumbling, and I'm trying to catch every little piece that falls, and I only end up getting burried in rubble.

I really, really am going to miss you guys, and this site, so much. "So don't leave, Star!" you're probably saying. I can't. I'm sorry. I just can't. I'm continuing my 'fics in my spare time, so I'll probably pop in every few months to post the completed story, but really I need to leave.

Who knows, maybe I'll be back sometime. In a few years, I might say, "I wonder if they remember me." And...hopefully you all will. My head hurts when I try to imagine being forgotten here. Because I sure aren't going to forget anything. RPing with everyone, meeting new users, playing wolfgame together, making up the WFW School (No one forget Billy the Janitor Dog, guys. </3), contests, all my guy drama that really frustrated some (HEY BIRCHY. Remember Bryan the Pirate? :) and so much more.

I love you guys, with all my heart, and I don't want to lose you all forever. You know where to find me - JMC, IRC (I'm always under the nick Stareh. Legit. Unless I'm avoiding someone.), most of you know my Wattpad username, and Howrse, and I'm friends with a couple of you on Facebook. So I won't lose you all permanetely. That'll make it so much easier on me.

I love you all. So much. Don't forget me.

Stareh out. Forever is a long time,    but I wouldn't mind   spending it by your side   19:31, September 27, 2012 (UTC)