Tallstar Advertises Swimming Classes

Another Tallstar Advertises! The next in the series, succeeding Tallstar Advertizes 2!, by BC. I made the first, Tallstar Advertises Flavoristic Foods. Enjoy the lastest enstallment of the series!

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Announcer: Welcome to Tallsta-

Tallstar: *punches* SHADDAP.

Announcer: But you hired me to be an annnoun-

Tallstar: *claws* GET OUT!!

Announcer: *cries and leaves*

Tallstar: Aaaaanway. Here's Taaaaaaaallstaaaaaaaaar! And I'll be advertising -- Swimming classes!

Mudclaw: Oh great. What do I throw this time? *sees a pool noodle* *throws*

Tallstar: My swimming cla- *pool noodle hits his face* WAT THE DARK FOREST!?!?

Mudclaw: Oops, was that me?

Cats in audience: *laugh*


 * flames grow behind Tallstar*

Tallstar: SHUT UP AND LET ME ADVERTISE THE DANG SWIMMING CLASSES!!!

Cats in audience: *laughing dies down, with only one voice heard* *all turn to see who's still laughing*

Hollykit (NP): BAHAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOLOLOL! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Oakheart: What the...?

Swiftpaw: Er... What in Silverpelt...?

Ferncloud: HOLLYKIT, SHUT YOUR *bleep*ING JAWS, SIT THE *bleep* DOWN, AND SHUT THE *bleep* UP.

Hollykit: D8 *runs out crying*

Tallstar: And for swearing in front of all those kits - *gestures to a bunch of kits* - you're being kicked out!

Larchkit: *bleep* *bleep* *bleep*

Tallstar: SECURITY!


 * Crowfeather and Ashfoot tackle Ferncloud*

Hollyleaf: O___o'

Tallstar: Anyway- *Crowfeather and Ashfoot are dragging Ferncloud in the background*- swimming classes are easy as---

Jayfeather: PIE. :3

Tallstar: Oh boy what flavor? :D

Jayfeather: PIE FLAVOR. *holds up pie with another pie flying out of it in slow motion while an epic guitar plays in bg*

Tallstar: *is not amused* SECURITY!


 * Russetfur and Rowanclaw walk toward Jayfeather*

Jayfeather: YOU WON'T TAKE ME ALIVE *runs into a wall*


 * Rowanclaw and Russetfur drag Jayfeather to crazy-person den*

Jayfeather: *hissing and spitting*

Tallstar: NO MORE INTERRUPTIONS!


 * small voice*: Tallstar, can I go to the bathroom?

Tallstar: *sees that it's Mosskit* NO

Mosskit: But I-

Tallstar: *claws*

Bluestar: *punches Tall and takes Moss back to the den*

Tallstar: Now then! As I was saying, my swimming classes will be easy to learn! All you have to do is follow my easy steps on how to do them!

Mudclaw: Get on with it!

Tallstar: *shoves pool nodle down Mudclaw's throat*

Mudclaw: T____T *goes to Kestrelwing*

Tallstar: OH NOES, ALMOST COMMERCIA-

Now for convienent commercial break! Starring BC.
BC: Is your mate and or kit incredibly stupid?

Daisy: *staring at Spiderleg and Berrynose* Yeah...

BC: Can they say the alphabet A through K?

Daisy: No.

BC: Then get -


 * jingle starts*

Jingle lyrics:

If your kin,

Are very dumb,

Get ABC Kitty to make them smart!

BC: ABC Kitty will be sure to make your retarded non-educated relatives will learn the entire alphabet, A-K!

Daisy: AWESOME! I want to see them using the ABC Kitty! *looks at camera like a paid commercial actress*

BC: *puts ABC Kitty in front of Spiderleg and Berrynose*

Spiderleg: WHAT KIND OF TWOLEG CONTRAPTION IS THIS!?

Berrynose: Ooooooh, pretty button... *presses 'On' switch*

ABC Kitty: *plays loud dubstep that reaches the mountains* A, B, C, FREAKING D, E---

HOURS LATOR :D

Spiderleg: *dead*

Berrynose: *curled up on ground, moaning with his ears bleeding*

BC: Did I mention it's PERFECTLY SAFE FOR THE KITS? *'Perfectly safe for the kits' flashes yellow on the screen*

Daisy: NUUUUUU!! BERRY WERRY!!

BC: Order now!

BACK TO TALLSTAR
Tallstar: -L BREAK! Ohwait. AND WE'RE BACK! *is facing away from the camera*

Ashfur #1: Camera's behind you.

Ashfur #2: HEY! NAME STEALER!

Ashfur #1: I'm older than you, TC Ashfur!

Ashfur #2: *runs away*