Talk:If Bluestar Hadn't Given Up Her Kits/@comment-26998763-20160203191223

This is really good, it has tons of potential! There were a few grammatical errors though. Also, the format of each chapter is basically only one paragraph. You need to have a separate paragraph for dialogue.

EXAMPLE:

I walked down the road, which was filled with cars. Some were green, some were yellow, and some were red. All of a sudden, I jumped as a car beeped it's horn.

"Aaaahhh!" I yelled. That had scared the living daylights out of me!

END EXAMPLE.

Yup. :)