Talk:Swiftpaw's death/@comment-24176360-20130710100651

Hey there! This has a lot of promise, but I have 2 things to say.

1. You are missing apostrophes and commas. Lots of them. I'm sorry, but I'm a bit of a punctuation freak. :)

2. ''If I cant beat whats a snakerocks, then how can i be a warrior? ''

At first, this made no sense, but then I realised it was probably a typo.

Also wanted to say that I thought this story was fairly short, but I thought it was good. :)

Hope I helped and didn't come across as a mean idiot to you. :)