Talk:Glow in the Dark/@comment-7270915-20130701160325/@comment-7270915-20130702004323

No, I'm not saying the whole story didn't make sense, but a lot of it didn't make sense. To be frank, I was half-expecting Flashfur to run off with her and betray the Clan at the end, due to Flashfur's first dream. And you never did mention Morningkit after that ...

Gee, I completely went away from what I was going to talk about. Anyway, some the characters and their motivations and their actions just don't quite add up. I found that quite jarring, and it took away from the story. I think if you went over this, added a couple more chapters, and took out the parts that didn't add up in the end, it would improve the story immensely.

But you don't have to, of course - it's your story, after all. And Dawny likes it, and since she is the one who started this contest, her approval suggests that it probably is okay as is.