Rising from the Ground/Sixteen

SIXTEEN. STORMSHADOW

 Yeah, oh

I don’t acknowledge Ravenflight’s pleas that I go see Gwyn. I ignore Blackthorn’s orders to go talk to the gray she-cat. I ignore everyone. I stay in my den and just accept Ravenflight’s delivery of prey.

One day, she seats herself in my den and stays there until I hiss. “Go away.”

“Stormshadow, I know it’s shocking, but Gwyn needs you right now.”

“I don’t care,” I squeeze my eyes shut, replaying the image of her pinning Ravenflight down, trying to drive her claws into Ravenflight’s throat.

“I know what you’re going through,” I open my eyes to see Ravenflight trying to hide her tears, “Gwyn did the same with me just a few moons ago, except the tom who stopped her didn’t go for her, he went for me.”

I know what she means. Gwyn had attempted to take Ravenflight’s life once already and ended up murdering Artic, the very tom who helped me.

I let out a sigh and shake my head. “I can’t...I can’t face a she-cat who throws her regards for life that quickly.”

Ravenflight nudges the finch towards me. “She needs someone and no one is better at bringing out her bright side than you, Stormshadow.” Her yellow eyes are tinged with sadness but she stands and heads for the entrance.

I stay in my den for the next three days but on the fourth, I push past Ravenflight and ask for directions to Gwyn’s prison.

When I reach the outside, I pause. What would Gwyn do when she saw me? Would she try to kill me instead? StarClan, I hope not.

I step inside and the gray she-cat’s beautiful blue eyes are pinned on me. I flinch at the shattered look in her eyes. I can’t utter anything. I stare into those broken eyes and she struggles to her paws.

“Gwyn,” I whisper.

She just stares at me. “I’m sorry,” I try to say, “I know you hate it here but we can’t let the Raiders win.”

She gives a bitter laugh at this. “You don’t understand,” she spits out, “I hate IceClan. I came here because my best friend wanted to. And now he’s dead. Where else can I go? I have no one here.”

“You had someone,” I remind her, “I loved you.”

Gwyn flinches at my use of past-tense. “Stormshadow, please don’t leave me-”

“You tried to do that!” I shout, “I loved you and you wanted to murder Ravenflight just so you can escape to the pain of living in IceClan and go back to the Raiders. Well guess what, in the Raiders’ clutches, you’ll end up destroying all of IceClan and I promise you we’d all be dead.”

I spin around and begin to stalk back outside but Gwyn begins to cry. “Stormshadow…”

I pause and I tell her, “If you cared about me, you wouldn’t have tried to save me by destroying IceClan.”

I step back outside and head straight back to my den. I stay there for as long as I can stand before telling Ravenflight that I’m heading back to my old camp.

“They need help rebuilding anyways,” I mutter, “I don’t - I can’t stay here. Give Blackthorn my regards.”

“Stormshadow…” Ravenflight watches as I head out.

I can’t stay here. I loved Gwyn but she was no longer who I loved. I can’t let these memories threaten to overwhelm me. It would be better if I stayed away from the fly warriors and just try to be a river warrior.

Forget my hope to help IceClan win. I was no use.

I shake my head furiously and head for my old camp.

~

When I get there, I just tell the camp leader that I came back to help the river warriors recover from the tragedy from a few moons ago. He didn’t ask any questions and just directed me to the old squad of river warriors that I had been with. Only three of them are left out of the six of us.

They welcome me back but I don’t feel at home. For days I work with the river warriors to rebuild the camp and continue to train the young, but my mind kept wandering back to the fly warriors.

To Gwyn.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t erase the gray she-cat from my mind. I loved her but she had betrayed me.

I couldn’t be with someone like that.

But as the days went on, I never found comfort like I did before I met Gwyn. I remember when I first laid my eyes on her, she had stood out from the fly warriors. I knew a fly warrior when I saw one, but Gwyn radiated power and defiance. She was different than the fly warriors, a rebel in their midst. A rebel in any midst.

I was instantly drawn to her and I had noticed the way she dragged a gray cloud around everywhere. But her smiles lit up the world and that’s all I wanted to see.

But then I remember the way her face had twisted into a snarl, her claws extended for Ravenflight’s neck. The cruel way she wanted to destroy everything the black she-cat had stood for.

I can’t go back.

Gwyn can’t be mine.

Not like this.

 Go run, run, run