Talk:Affection/@comment-26285531-20160124201506

SPOILERS

One The blurb was definitely well-written and intriguing! I felt myself pulled in and I definitely want to read more now. :)

You portray the characterists of each cat well - how Emberpaw is an enthusiastic and bright apprentice, how Cheetahpaw is popular, arrogant, and a pain in the tail for Ashpaw, and how Ashpaw is mellower and less ambitious. It's interesting how contradicting Ashpaw and Cheetahpaw's personalities are, and I'm really wondering how this partering will go, and if they'll get anything done without fighting with each other.

Two I'm surprised that Cheetahpaw took it so lightly! She has the right intentions in mind, even though Ashpaw thinks she's just a pain in the tail. Not exactly that she wants to be his friend, but that she wants to get along, because it will be better for both of them. I like how they finally got to the point where the controlled their bickering, because they seemed to realize they needed to be on task.

An intruder? Who could it be? You wrapped up the chapter really well in a way that I want to keep reading and find out who it is O: ' Three' Master? Who're they working for? And who exactly is this Darkness? I hope they'll be answered come the next chapter!

I'm glad that Cheetahpaw and Ashpaw found themselves to be alike, and I understand that they figured it out in a tough situation, but I found it a little quick to happen. I think you could have added a little more momentum before them realizing they could trust each other. Great job though! The Darkness's dialogue is really chilling in a way, and I can tell that something bad is going to happen and they'll be the cause of it. (I really like the names too, they're really fitting for this story! C:)

Great job! I'll make sure I finish Affection ASAP! :D

END SPOILERS