Talk:Collar of Bones/@comment-5342796-20130709003901

Amazing!!! I'm gonna comment on the prologue and first chapter separately, because they're just so different.

The prologue was so intriguing. The name of the tribe-thing, and all the cats, were just totally original and awesome. An interesting ritual they went through, with the whole blood thing. Honestly, I find them even more interesting than the Clan cats- not to say the Clan cats aren't interesting(sloping into chapter one now). I like the way you've already started characterizing the cats, showing how Troutfur is, and setting the scene well. For a first chapter it's really good.

Just some suggestions - not even criticism, just suggestions - characterize Flameclaw well. Don't make her a goody-two paws who always does everything right, but a character we can relate to and love. Not that you were godmodding her or anything, just felt the need to warn you of that. :) Sorry.

One mild grammar error:

''"A sweet voice called from teh darkness." Just a minor misspelling of the. xD No biggie at all.''

''Overall, a story I'll definitely be checking again. I'm glad you asked me to read it. :) <3''