Talk:Black Pelt, White Lie/@comment-15560748-20160104214555

>spoilers<

ONE

Ashpelt seems pretty mysterious. I like your tone and word choice because it really brought me into the story. I think that the flash-back was a nice touch; it added a sense of melancholy at the end, I thought it made nice and different.

TWO

Whoa. Mornigndew is definitely someone to look out for xD. She seems pretty headstrong in her own way, and I can tell that she's very observant. She seems to be keeping a tab on everything Ashpelt does, and then weighing down the options. The part about Snowspirit made me really curious for more, which is really good!

THREE

This is getting pretty intense. I like how you use the chapters to build up what Ashpelt's secret might be. I have a feeling that his secret might be similar to Snowspirits's, and that maybe he killed some cat... *shudders*

FOUR

That was really weird. Poor, poor Morningdew D:

But I think it also helped create the whole mood for the story. Because secrets are lurking everywhere, and you might not know what people are hiding.

FIVE

I like that we're getting an insight to Ashpelt's past. Taht's probably linked to the secret. (The suspense is literally killing me ahhh)

SIX

OMG HE'S A MURDERER WHOA. See, I was correct! xD

But this is just making me wonder what's happening next. This is crazy good :D

~

Anyway, I really liked the story. You've definitely created a good overall "theme" for the story. Though the very short-ish lines cut off the flow a bit, it's still a very good story!

>end spoilers<