User blog:Minnowclaw/Should I keep writing this story or should I trash it?

Hi guys! Do you think this story is any good or do you think that I should burn it'?

''Minnow walked without rest for the second moonrise since her parents were killed. She looked back to see that her littermates were falling behind her, their paws heavy with sadness. She raced back to her sister Ivy and said, “Snow wouldn’t want you to be so sad. She would want you to move on and find a new life. You know that. One day, when it is our turn to join Starclan, we will see her again.”''

''Ivy turned her head and Minnow turned to her oldest brother James, “You should help her, you’re the oldest.” James just looked to Ivy and turned away from both of them. Minnow turned her head and hoped that her brother Rock would have some sense and help her, but she didn’t see him. She then bumped into his sturdy leg and all of them stopped walking.''

''“Minnow is right guys. Snow and Spider were good cats and they are watching over us now. We are only six moons old and we need to find the clans that they told us about! Or we will join them soon.” He said, turning to Ivy who broke down in tears again. James hung his head low and pawed at the ground until he said, “Come on Ivy, we can’t live on bugs forever, we have to eat real food.”''

''Ivy stopped weeping and began to walk up to Rock and nuzzled him. Minnow came closer and James soon followed. They held their heads and prayed to Starclan like they did every night, but this time instead of praying for good hunting, they wished their parents would find their way to Starclan.''

''When they were done, Ivy picked up her head and took the lead followed by Rock with James and Minnow on the outside on watch. They weren’t getting anywhere. They had just been going in a strait line. Not knowing if they would every see the clans, but they had to keep going and believe that their parents loved them and were guiding their paw steps.''

''Suddenly, Ivy stopped and smelled the air, “I can smell water!” she exclaimed. They all stopped and smelled. Ivy ran forward, into a clump of fern and they soon herd her yowl. When they followed, Ivy was fine, but when they looked up, they saw a wide stretch of water and many cats around it in the pine wood, marshes, moors, everywhere.''

“The lake,” whispered Ivy.

“It’s real,” exclaimed James.

“It’s so big!’ Thought Rock.

“We’re home,” said Minnow.

CHAPTER ONE

''Minnow, Rock, James and Ivy were all running across the moors trying to get to Thunderclan before they were spotted by a Windclan patrol. Like usual, Ivy was the fastest despite her small stature. James fell a bit behind and Rock and Minnow flew in between. When they finally reached the woods, they were all panting and out of breath and relief fell over them only to be replaced by hoarer as three large cats burst from the brush and circled them.''

''One was a dark grey tabby tom who looked just like Rock, but had cold blue eyes and he stared down at them with accusing eyes. The second, a light brown tabby she-cat, who looked like Ivy, stared at them harshly with yellow eyes, only to be replaced by sympathy when she saw how young they were. The third was a white tom, who looked funny next to the pitch black pelt of James.''

''“Who are you?!” Yelled the grey tabby tom. Rock hissed at him and stepped protectively in front of Minnow and Ivy, James faced the white tom with indignation and Minnow huddled around Ivy.''

''“Don’t yell. Can’t you see that they are only kits?” Whispered the she cat.''

''“Windclan kits! Go back to your parents kits!” Yowled the tom. Ivy broke into weeping again and when Minnowkit tried to comfort her, the she cat ran over and began to lick her and murmured to her.''

“Brownstripes get back here!” Yowled the white tom while Minnow watched the grey tabby bristle.

“Can’t you see that they are hurt Snowstorm?” asked the she-cat, who made Ivy weep more.

''Minnowkit stepped forward so that she faced the grey tabby, “My name is Minnow, these are my litter mates: James, Ivy and Rock.” She said as she gestured to each as they were named, “Our parents names were Spider and Snow. Two moonrises ago, they were killed saving us from a dog pack. They told us about the clans and we wish that you not send us away or hurt us, but that you allow us to come to your camp. We can only eat bugs because we were not told to hunt and we have no where to live. I fear for the life of my sister if we don’t find shelter and food very soon.” Said Minnow.''

''Brownstripes stopped licking Ivy, Snowstorm stared at Minnow and they grey tom stared at Minnow with bewilderment in his eyes. The grey tom opened his mouth and said, “I am Bouldertail, the she-cat is Brownstripes, the tom is Snowstorm and we are cats of Thunderclan. It is not up to me to let you in our clan, but I think that you will be welcomed by our leader Silverstar. If you wish to join, follow me.”''

''Brownstripes picked up Ivy, Snowstorm carried James and Rock and Minnow followed behind. As they approached the camp, fear welled up in Minnow, What if they don’t like us? Thought Minnow as she followed them into the camp.''

''When they burst through the camp entrance, all eyes turned to the patrol as they place the kits down at what Minnow thought was the highrock and then stepped back. Minnow looked up to see a silver she-cat standing on the rock and the whole clan had gathered.''

''“Who are you?” asked the silver cat and Minnow realized that she was the leader. Minnow thought about what to say and she then thought that maybe since she was in the camp, she should show bravery. At least, that’s what she thought her mother told her to do.''

“Who are you?” Minnow asked the she-cat.

The she-cat smiled down at her and her litter mates and Minnow realized that she had made the right choice by being brave, “I am Silverstar, leader of Thunderclan, now I have told you who I am, who are you?”

Minnow looked at Silverstar, “I am Minnow, previous rouge.”

''Silverstar then looked mad and said, “You didn’t tell me much about yourself. Who are you parents? Who are the other cats that you are with? Where did you come from? Why are you here?”''

“I do believe that you must tell me what you want to know about me, about yourself before I answer you.”

“How old are you?”

“5 moons,”

“Where are your parents?”

Minnow paused, not wanting to answer that question, “They’re, they’re…”

''“Dead,” finished James who came to stand next to Minnow, “We need your help or we will die. Please help us. Our youngest sister is very close to death now.” Minnow stared back at Ivy and saw that James was right. Ivy looked so tired and sick that she might drop any minute.''

Silverstar thought for a second, and then said, “Sparktail, can Gracefeather take these four?”

''A bright yellow tom rose to his paws, “Silverstar, that would make my mate have seven kits to take care of. She can take the two she-cats, but the toms can go with Brownstripes,” he said.''

Minnow, James, Rock and Ivy clustered together, not wanting to be split up, but Brownstripes came and took James and Rock and a small grey she-cat came, picked up Ivy and had Minnow follow.

''“I will think it over in my den about what will be their fate, but they must be fed and cared for until then.” Said the she-cat to her clan as she jumped off of the highrock and followed the four kits to a bramble bush which must be the nursery. When Minnow looked in, she saw three other kits curled up next to each other.''

''The grey she-cat woke them and the only tom ran over to them, “I’m Spadekit! Who are you? What clan are you from?” he asked. He was a darker grey than his mother, but not as dark as James.''

“I’m Minnow and this is Ivy,” said Minnow.

''“Not any more,” said Silverstar, “If you wish to stay with us, your names will be Minnowkit and Ivykit. That has to be one of the rules you follow.”''

“Will James and Rock be Jameskit and Rockkit?” asked Minnow.

''“No, Rock will be Rockkit, but James is not a clan name. If he stays he will be Sparrowkit,” explained Silverstar.''

“Oh, well hi Minnowkit!” said the Spadekit, “Those other cats over there are Dustkit and Featherkit,” Spadekit motioned in turn a dark brown she-cat and a light grey she-cat, “Our mom is Gracefeather and our father is the deputy Sparktail!”

''Minnowkit dipped her head to Spadekit and curled up with her sister just as a cat not much older than 6 moons dropped a mouse at her paws. Ivykit took out a small bite, and then began to eat faster as she realized how hungry she was. Minnowkit waited until Ivykit was all done and then she took the rest of the mouse. With their bellies full and Spadekit back with his sisters, Minnowkit and Ivykit slowly fell into a restful sleep.''

CHAPTER TWO

''When Minnow woke, she saw that Ivy wasn’t next to her. She pankicked and was about to call out her name when she saw her sister playing with Spadekit, Dustkit, and Featherkit. Minnow then remembered that he name was now Minnowkit and Ivy was now Ivykit, “Minnowkit you’re awake!”''

“Where are Rockkit and Sparrowkit?” Minnowkit asked as she stretched her jaws in a huge yawn and stretched her mussels.

''“Right hear!” yowled Rockkit as he jumped on top of Dustkit, holding her down with ease as he was a whole moon older. Minnowkit launched herself up and knocked him off of Dustkit, “Get off Rockkit! She’s too young for that type of play. We are older than them, be careful!”''

''Dustkit got up, shook herself off, and looked at Minnowkit, “I maybe small, but I could beat you any day!” She yowled as she launched herself on top of Minnowkit. She dug her claws into Minnowits' back and bit down on Minnowkits’ ear.''

It didn’t hurt Minnowkit, and she just rolled over on her back and Dustkit fell off, “I see that you have already made friends,” said a voice from the entrance to the nursery.

Minnowkit turned around to see Silverstar next to Gracefeather, “Come with me,” she said and she led Rockkit, Sparrowkit, Ivykit and Minnowkit all out into the camp where cats had started to gather, “You are old enough to be apprentices so we are going to give you mentors.”

''“Already? But I thought that we would be kits,” asked Sparrowkit.''

''“Well if you don’t like it, you could always leave,” said Silverstar. Minnowkit bumped into Sparrowkit and glared at him. Unbelievable! We have been taken in so kindly and then he takes this as a right! Mousebrain. Thought Minnowkit and she walked up to the bottom of the great rock and looked up at Silverstar, who began to say the words of an apprentice ceremony. Minnowkit really didn’t pay attention until it was time to name the mentors and her and her siblings.''

''“Sparktail, you are a loyal deputy and you will never wrong a cat who has done nothing wrong, just because of their parents. You will be the mentor of Minnowkit,” said Silverstar. Oh no! Not the deputy! What if he doesn’t like me? She then remembered that she was supposed to touch noses with Sparktail and quickly ran up to him. He seemed surprised that she new what to do and to Minnowkit’s relief there was no hostility in his eyes, but an eerie knowing.''

''Silverstar repeated the ceremony for the rest of her littermates, but joined Rockpaw and Sparrowpaw with the same mentor, but Ivypaw had a mentor to herself. Maybe there just aren’t enough mentors in the clan.''

When the ceremony was done, Minnowpaw looked up at her new mentor and he stared down at her, “What are we going to do?” asked Minnowpaw, really willing to do anything that would get him to stop staring at her.

''“We are going to collect moss. I’ll show you how to do it the proper way,” said Sparktail. Then he nodded to the exit of the camp and motioned with his tail for her to follow. He led her to a clearing where the tree roots were covered in more moss the Minnowpaw had ever seen.''

''“Do you know how to get the moss?” asked Sparktail. Minnowpaw shook her head so Sparktail went on, “First you need to put your paw right on the end, extend your claws till they hurt and then rip,” he said as he knocked off a big clump of moss, “Now you try and don’t stop until this tree no longer has any moss on it,” said Sparktail and he went to sit down next to a tree and he closed his eyes.''

''Minnowpaw tried it and felt happy when she took off an even bigger piece than Sparktail did, “Keep going,” said Sparktail and Minnowpaw did. She kept going until she had more moss than she needed, “Is this okay?” Asked Minnowpaw.''

''Sparktail opened his eyes and stared at the pile Minnowpaw had made, “We need more. Do the next tree,” he said. Minnowpaw turned back to the tree and went on to the next one. When she was done with that, Sparktail still said that they needed more and it went on for hours until Minnowpaw couldn’t feel her paws anymore and the pile of moss she had was four times her size.''

''Spartail then got up and said, “Okay, good. Now bring all of the moss back to camp and put it under the highrock,” Minnowpaw nodded and picked up as big of a ball of moss she could and turned to Sparktail waiting for him to lead her back to camp, “You can find it yourself, don’t you remember?” he said with his eyes still closed.''

''Minnowpaw nodded and walked back to camp tripping over everything that you could posably imagen and somethings that Minnowpaw didn’t even know could be tripped over. When she got back to camp, she placed her ball down near the entrance and walked back to the clearing to see that the mound of moss didn’t even look any smaller after the big ball of moss she took back.''

''Minnowpaw kept making trips back and fourth until there was one trip left to do. She then stopped infront off Sparktail and said, “I have but one more trip to make, would you like to come with me or should I come back for you?”''

''“Come back, I have to talk to you,” said Sparktail. Minnowpaw turned calmly back to the moss, but inside she was dredding coming back. Her paws ached from taking off all of the moss, falling and walking back and fourth and she was hopping that she could take a nap after this. I have done more walking today then I did when we were looking for the clans!”''

Finaly she arrived at camp with her ball of moss and ran back to the clearing to find Sparktail standing up and looking at her, “What do you need me to do now?” asked Minnowpaw.

''“Sit,” said Sparktail. Minnowpaw sat down obidently and stared up at her mentor, barely able to keep her eyes open.''

''“Are you tired?” he asked. Minnowpaw nodded, “Go run a mile,” he stated flatly. Minnowpaw got up and was about to take off when Sparktail put his paw on her back and made her sit down again, “That is what we need to talk about,”''

“What is what we need to talk about?” Minnowpaw asked.

''“Some cats will not be happy with you and your siblings joining our clan. You are the first non pure Thunderclan cats to be let in the clan in a very very long time and some cats will make sure that you are the last and that you leave,” he said.''

''“But I’m being good! I did everything you asked today even though I might fall on my paws on the way back to camp and I didn’t complain even once!” yowled Minnowpaw furius.''

''“That’s my point. All most any other cat would have yelled at me after the first tree because they knew and I bet you knew that I made you get far more moss than we realy need. Some cats will tease and taunt you and your littermates, they will drive you out with words and you have to fight back!” he said.''

“Are you telling me that I sould attack them?”

''“No, but if they something take it like you were taking what I was giving you, but if an apprentice or a new warrior wants you to do something and doesn’t say that either Silverstar or I needs you to do it you must check in with me. Don’t even come to me if it’s something like go to Riverclan and steal all of their fish.”''

“So you want me to ignore teases but retaliate with rediculus acusations or commands?”

''“You have a very wide vocabulary for such a young cat. Who do you get that from?”''

“My mom,” said Minnowpaw as she hung her head low.ywa

“Well come on, it’s about time we went home.”

Well that was just the first two chapters. What do you think?