Talk:Two Paths/@comment-44489924-20200201210149

Just one little tip: Maybe you could try to start a new line everytime you explore a new idea. One solid paragraph is a lot harder to read then multiple lines. Example:

Stormkit awoke. It was the day of her apprentice ceremony! She had dreamed about running through the woods with a pale brown cat. They were going somewhere... but where? Stormkit knew that the cat was Hawkpaw. Stormkit had always liked the young apprentice, but had never had a dream about her. Still, she didn’t tell anyone, in case they started to gossip. And if Thornbush heard, he would start stalking Stormkit. Thornbush was the most annoying cat in the Clan, and once he developed a friendship with a cat, he’d follow them around everywhere. Suddenly, Redstar’s words rang out. “All cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the Fallen Tree for a Clan meeting!” Stormkit walked out, escorted by her parents. She stood beneath the Fallen Tree and gazed up at Redstar. The flame-colored tom looked down at her. “Stormkit, you have reached the age of six moons, and are old enough to become an apprentice. Your mentor will be Silverstorm.” With that, Redstar turned and leapt off of the tree, and headed back to his den in the thickets. Stormpaw looked up at Silverstorm. Her mentor whispered, “We’ll do well together. Try your best and you’ll do great.”

vs

Stormkit awoke. It was the day of her apprentice ceremony!

She had dreamed about running through the woods with a pale brown cat. They were going somewhere... but where? Stormkit knew that the cat was Hawkpaw. Stormkit had always liked the young apprentice, but had never had a dream about her. Still, she didn’t tell anyone, in case they started to gossip. And if Thornbush heard, he would start stalking Stormkit.

Thornbush was the most annoying cat in the Clan, and once he developed a friendship with a cat, he’d follow them around everywhere.

Suddenly, Redstar’s words rang out. “All cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the Fallen Tree for a Clan meeting!”

Stormkit walked out, escorted by her parents. She stood beneath the Fallen Tree, and gazed up at Redstar. The flame-colored tom looked down at her.

“Stormkit, you have reached the age of six moons, and are old enough to become an apprentice. Your mentor will be Silverstorm.” With that, Redstar turned and leapt off of the tree, and headed back to his den in the thickets.

Stormpaw looked up at Silverstorm. Her mentor whispered, “We’ll do well together. Try your best and you’ll do great.”

It's a lot easier for people to read. I love it so far!