Talk:Falconshadow's Story :Thunder and Lightining/@comment-1266530-20111012171316

Oooh (I should stop starting all of my comments with `oooh`; if it annoys me than I can't even imagine how much it irritates others)!... Anyway, this is really cool! The plot is well thought out and for once, the warrior names actually make sense! The only thing you could do to improve would be to use paragraphs. When the chapters are all chunked (which is a word - screw the dictionary!) it looks awfully daunting and you may find that possible readers may shy away from it. Plus it looks much better and longer when your writing is spaced out and it's easier to pick out mistakes. But yes, apart from that; cool beans! :)