Talk:Clan or Freedom/@comment-26432133-20170120063954

forgive me, High Goddess, life and forgetfulness postponed this crazy commenting run I promised

(was going to comment as I read along BUT THEN I JUST READ THROUGH THE WHOLE THING WHOOPS)

SPOILERS

oh hey, I like this idea of Breezecloud being what some can call ditzy. I suppose I'm a little quick to judge her based on her lack of concentration- ah well, looks like I'm a human being. I guess parents now have a new way to get their children to read: "You'll learn about yourself as you learn about a character!"

PATCHPAW YOU IDIOT, IT'S LIKE PEOPLE/CATS ARE GETTING RUN OVER LEFT AND RIGHT THESE DAYS. First the boy at the high school, now a fictional cat. Kids, don't jaywalk. You'll end up like my cousin's friend, in the hospital and in much pain.

The friendship/relationship Breezecloud and Smoke have is nice, though I feel like you could really emphasize it with a couple more scenes. However, because Breezecloud is usually shunned, the contrast holds up their differences well enough.

You do throw in the small details that really emphasize her reliance on Smoke, though. "Yay, not an annoying warrior that's come to pester me - for Patchpaw's death, or something.", "was something that I could actually focus on", "he was the only cat I could rely on now" These little bits really make all the difference.

END SPOILERS

Overall, you did a great job, High Goddess, and I can't wait til you update! <3