Talk:Pumpkin Moon/@comment-24143898-20170413052100

Here's part Two (after so long...!) Apologies for the very long wait ^.^

SPOILERS

Chapters Three, Four and Five:

I don't have much to comment on about Chapter Three, although it is nice to see the characters with their powers and whatnot. It's good to actually see what their powers are through what they're doing (even though their names indicate somewhat what their power is) and what they're capable of. I have a feeling that these are going to possibly be developed more later on, especially if the cats are going to get better with using them.

WOW WHAT OKAY TARGET'S LOOK ACTUALLY COMES ACROSS AS REALLY CREEPY. That was my first thought when reading that bit, but then again it also defines yet again how atypical this world is. I think it's not important to forget that, especially with the cats' powers and stuff, so I feel it's a good thing to keep the readers in mind of that from time to time. ^.^

"SHE IS MINE" - Wait, what is Target even talking about, is he talking about Flare or something??? In that short chapter, Target doesn't come across the most pleasant character, and I feel as though he's developed well for the short time that we've known him for. I feel as though he's definitely going to come back, as I feel that Target is the sort of cat who'd want to do something to Gouda o.o

As for Chapter Five, I'm thinking similar things as I was in Chapter Four. However, I feel as though this world is rather complex, and interesting in itself - it's strange enough as it is, and when Gouda mentioned to Target something about himself being innocent I started to ask myself why Gouda said that. I think those two cats have a history... and considering that Target has gone along and attacked Gouda again, I think there's a reason behind it. That attack was definitely not a random one, that is for sure.

So yeah, I actually didn't spot anything that could be improved, apart from the fact that the chapters could be made a liiiitle longer, maybe? idk, some of them seem a liitle short. However, you've done some excellent character development so far, great job c:

I will get to the other two parts - I might do another tomorrow or something before I go on my break, if I'm lucky.^.^

END SPOILERS