Talk:Dark angel/@comment-25630395-20150121082742

SPOILERS

Aww D: I feel really bad for Brokenpaw. It must be awful to have your whole family hate you.

I like the plot, it's very interesting and I really hope Snowblaze dies >:D But I thought it was a bit sudden and strange how she grew wings. Like, shouldn't there have been signs when she was younger? And her personality change was a bit abrupt as well. And how did her parents know?

And grammar:

I noticed that sometimes you slipped from past to present tense. I make that mistake a lot, and a good tip is to read what you've written aloud to make sure there's no tense change. Also, sometimes instead of 'I' you used 'i'. In the beginning of the story, you didn't start a new line for every time a new character spoke.

But overall, this is good! I'll be watching this space :P

END SPOILER THINGS