Talk:The Game Led Us to This/@comment-1956227-20161203201239

I'm going to go by chapter from now on, makes it easier, at least for shorter stories.

Spoilers, by the way

Chapter 1

I get the general idea of this, I'm assuming they're two-legs pretending to be warrior cats, I'm going to go into the shift between their imagination later.

Only criticisim I have, which is more of a personal thing, the dialogue without much description, like I said, perosn thing. Without explaining who said what kind of thing, too vague to tell who said it, and being descriptive never hurt once or twice. Don't have to take my word for it though.

Chapter 2

I like the descriptive dialogue in this one, although again, only criticism, you missed a couple of comma spots (or not, grammar has never been my strong suit. For ex. Moonblossom spoke softly Harestone sent an angry glare. You could put a comma or a period in between softly and Harestone.

Also just to point it out as an easy fix, you said 'wind end' instead of widened xD. (No worries, I've done it.)

Chapter 3

You don't need a period between step and Whiteblossom, comma's are cool : )

Other then me being nitpicky, it's a really good idea and execution, I can't want for how the transition goes! It seems like these kids have about the same imagination I did back when I was like, 10-13.