Talk:Locked in Love/@comment-5446929-20140515001054

omgomgomg so

I reallyreallyreally love your writing style, it's really descriptive and pretty aND AGAIN THE PERSONIFICATION WHY CAN'T I EVER DO THAT?

So there were a few typos here and there, nothing that can't be fixed really quick, and in chapter one I saw one kind of awkward sentence: "He wasn't looking at me, but I was." could be "...but I was looking at him." because otherwise it sounds like she was looking at herself. There was also two sentences in a row that started with "but" which sounds strange to read.

However, I really like the story, and that fact that she's afraid of water (saw it coming) adds some depth to her character and some plot to the story, and I'm really enjoying it so far :D