Talk:Chance/@comment-25630395-20170730235538

wfwa judging

SPOILERS

One: Intruiging opening! I like your descriptions and the way you introduced Tansykit. Just by reading the first part I get the impression that she's manipulative, and the fact that she wants to 'rip everything apart' is pretty chilling. You did an excellent job of showing, not telling, as we got to know Tansykit through her actions- not just being blatantly told about her character. My only criticism for the first part is that it moved extremely quickly. The chapter is short so some more exposition would fit right in.

Two: Since we had no interaction with Grayflower I didn't feel terribly upset, but I was taken aback by Tansykit's violent response. There is something very wrong with her, lol. I wonder how much of what happens to her is true and how much of it is exaggerated by herself? Awesome narration!

Three: So here we are introduced to Lilyclaw! I love how we haven't met her yet but still hear about her enough to formulate an opinion. I'm really interested in her character.

Four: Tansypaw is a litle b**ch and I love it. Her narration is colorful and wonderfully unreliable, which means it always keeps the reader guessing. Lilyclaw is made out to be the 'evil stepmother' in Tansypaw's eyes, but the reader can actually see she's quite the opposite... or is she? xD

So for WFWA- you've been nomianted twice for this story! Once by me for best antagonist, who in this story is Lilyclaw. She's best antagonist, not villain because she doesn't seem to be the truly 'evil' force in this story. I love it when the main character is traditionally viewed as the 'villain', so right away I was interested in Lilyclaw's character. She seems very complex and layered, I don't quite have her figured out yet but I really want to know more about her. Keep it up!

Secondly, you were nominated for best potential. This story is relatively short but you can take it in so many amazing directions. You have a narrating voice that's unique and fun to read from, as well characters that can be fleshed out wonderfully. I want to know more about Petalpaw, Foxpelt and Lilyclaw, so write more, ok.

Best of luck with WFWA!

END OF SPOILERS