It's Not Over: Hollyleaf

I had to kill him to keep the secret. He would ruin everything I had set my heart on, everything ThunderClan has built since the last generation. I tried to keep our Clan safe, the prophecy's secret safe, but learning that my birth was completely against the Warrior Code was too much for me. I couldn't stand it, knowing that I was a traitor within my own Clan. And not being part of the prophecy was bad enough. So I ran away, after the Gathering, to escape through the tunnels. Who knew that it would collapse? I surely didn't. It felt like all the pieces of fur were flying away to bits when the rocks collapsed on me.

I was blown away, what could I say?

I hope you'll die in hell, Ashfur. You destroyed everything when you promised to tell everyone the secrets at the Gathering. You can't be trusted, it's clear for that. Good thing we didn't tell you about the prophecy, either. Otherwise you probably would have vowed to tell the Clans about that, then. But when you promised vengence for what Squirrelflight has done, what were you thinking of? Did you think that it would help make Squirrelflight healed beyond healing? No. Instead, you did that to me. And I fought back. I did the right thing, right? I thought I did.

It all seemed to make sense, you've taken away everything, and I can't deal with that

After everything happened, I tried to see the good in it, even though it seemed insurmountable. Impossible to crush the guilt that was crushing me. At first I was completely happy that the secrets have been relived. But once my former best friend knew what was going on, she scolded me in a manner of wisdom and walked away. I was confused, then. Suddenly I felt burning rage, and I wanted to kill Leafpool for all that she's done. When that didn't work, I realized that I didn't belong here, and I ran to a new life through the tunnels. That didn't work out so well, either, like I thought it would.

I try to see the good in life, but good things in life are hard to find

We'll blow it away, blow it away, can we make this something good?

Even after all this, I try to make my Clan happy with untold deeds. Like finding a squirrel for them (wasn't my story about following a squirrel into a tunnel? Hah!) or actually scoring the forest for yarrow (amazing when I remember the scent after all this time) and leaving it for Jayfeather in the den. I knew I had to help when I finally escaped the tunnels, when I saw Jayfeather confronting Tigerheart in the middle of the woods. But nothing will ever be repaid enough for what I have done.

My life with you means everything, so I won't give up that easily.

Can we make this something good? Cause it's all misunderstood,

Well I'll try do to it right this time around, it's not over.

I miss my life in ThunderClan. I certainly don't miss the prophecy. But I miss hunting for my Clanmates and making my once-father Brambleclaw proud, along with Squirrelflight. They all don't understand how much I want to go back, even if it's impossible. But I will serve them until I die, and I mean it; my loyalty was not severed by this. It wasn't, not at all. Not like anyone would understand, though.