Rising from the Ground/Three

THREE. GWYN

 Do you have to make me feel like

I’m not sure if I forgive Ravenflight. She obviously wants to be my friend, to have someone that understands her pain. But our pain is different. First of all, she loved Artic. She wasn’t his best friend, the cat who knew him the best. And she obviously didn’t murder him while trying to kill his almost-to-be mate.

Why can’t I stop repeating these stupid words?

I hate it.

I hate everything; that’s what I’ve decided.

Right now, I’m about to face a vicious Raider prisoner that I’m supposed to kill. (Because obviously Blackthorn doesn’t think I’ve done enough killing, he’s going to make me kill more cats - conveniently his enemy - so I can prove that I’m not afraid to just go around and slaughter cats.)

I’m pretty sure that’s not why I’m doing this but I didn’t listen to the old fool when he explained to me why exactly I was about to fight some Raider prisoner, so whatever.

All I know is that Artic did this too, as well as the rest of the fly warriors. Something about testing how well we do under pressure.

“Are you ready?” Ravenflight nudges me out of my stupor.

“Of course I’m ready,” I snap, “I’m always ready.”

The black she-cat gives me a sympathetic look and I feel the familiar pang of jealousy. She had everything she needed. She even had a forgiving heart. I turn away from her and I’m about to step into the Ring when the rest of the fly warriors bustle in. They ignore me and speak to Ravenflight. “We’re going on a round. Blackthorn says you have the choice-”

“I’m staying here,” she interrupts.

Stars, does she want to watch me murder one of my old “friends”? Mintsplash bares her teeth. “Are you staying to watch her?”

Ravenflight opens her mouth to respond but I snort. “No she’s not,” I turn to the fly warrior, “go do your freaking round.”

The black she-cat raises an eye and I arch an eyebrow back at her. “I was informed that you loved rounds. You liked to do stunts to replicate your so called rounds. So go do it. I’ll be… fine.”

When she still doesn’t budge, I turn away. “Fine, why don’t you all watch me murder the prisoner?” I snarl.

Sootflight winces. Ashshadow isn’t here today. She must be nursing the kits I had been informed she was having. “I’ll come,” I hear Ravenflight decide. The four of them shuffle out and I slip into the Ring, where the cheers of the crowd deafen me. I stiffen when I see a white tom facing me.

I don’t even comprehend who he is but all I can see is Artic in front of me with pleading eyes. “Don’t do this, Gwyn,” he whispers, “you can choose the right thing and walk away. You don’t have to do this for me.”

I swallow away tears and I reach out to Artic. Before I can touch him, I feel something burn along my pelt. I hiss, “You’re dead,” I tell the image of Artic. He disappears and the prisoner is surprising close to me.

He lunges once more and I dodge, raking my claws, digging deep into his pelt. He lets out a screech and before I can change my mind, I step forward and stab my other paw into his stomach. His eyes glaze over and I inhale sharply, staring down at his dead body.

I had to end it.

But instead, I see Artic lying in front of me, his own blood staining his pure white pelt. His eyes are glazed and I start to shake.

I killed him.

I don’t know how long I stay that way but Blackthorn interrupts my thoughts. “Gwyn! Move! Raiders are invading the camp!”

I look up at him with dead eyes. “He’s dead,” I whisper, “I killed him.” The general pauses in front of me and gazes into my eyes. I know he sees Artic in front of me too, even though he wasn’t there when it actually happened.

“Get yourself together,” Blackthorn reprimands, “We need all the help we can get, especially after what you said about them being afraid of the fly warriors.”

“Where are they?”

“They went out on a round! I sent a few soldiers to go call them back but we need your help. You can’t help if you’re sobbing over some Raider body.” His words are harsh, but I nod grimly as he adds, “If you do this, I’ll consider waiving your crimes and allowing you to be a full IceClan cat.”

It’s all or nothing. This is for Artic, I tell myself.

Without another word, I spin around and head straight for the exit to the Ring and I burst into the main camp that is filled with cats. I notice the Raiders immediately and I don’t hesitate as I fling myself onto the back of a black tom. He screeches in pain and the IceClan warrior rolls away, grunting her thanks.

I dig my claws in desperately as he tries to shake me off. I finally hop off when it gets too much, one of my claws torn. The tom’s eyes scan me and he bares his fangs. “Gwyn,” he sneers, “Enero’s little pet. I can’t wait until he finds out that I tore you apart.”

Fear shoots through me, but I keep my fierce mask on my face. “As if you could do that,” I hiss haughtily. Before I can react, he materializes in front of me and I barely have enough time to drop to the ground and dart underneath his stomach. My claws graze his skin and I spin around, lifting my paws defensively just as he slammed into me.

Even if my seventeen moons of training in the Raiders’ training camp never made me as fast as the older cats. Plus, I trained to be a fly warrior. I leap high in the air but the tom catches my leg, yanking me back down.

I slam onto the ground, my breath knocked away. I gasp for air as the tom presses his paw down on my throat, cutting off my air supply.

For a few seconds, I struggle to knock him away but with no prevail. My vision tunnels and I see black spots dance before my eyes.

Artic...I’m failing you...

Suddenly the pressure is gone and I gasp for air just as a tom wrenches my onto my paws. “Enero,” I manage to rasp as he disposes of the Raider tom.

“Gwyn,” his cruel smirk is still plastered over his face. “I see you outlived the tom I promised I would tear apart in front of you. But it’s alright… because you killed him.”

My breath catches again and he takes this moment to clout me in the side of my head. Against Enero, I’m useless. He evokes all my tiny fears, and he always knows how to disarm me.

“What do you want?” I blink away tears, “Why did you kill that tom?”

“So I can kill you myself,” Enero laughs harshly, “I’ve always wanted to kill you in front of Artic, but it’s a better punishment by forcing you to do it instead.”

Before I can stop myself, I slip back into the memory.

''I tear through the forest, anger rushing through me. It’s been several weeks since I’ve left Artic in prison and I can feel a familiar feeling of guilt pooling in my stomach. I push it away frantically. I can’t afford to feel sorry.''

“Gwyn,” a hiss startles me, “I’m not surprised you’re alive.”

''I jump at the closeness of his voice and glance around wildly. “Show yourself!” I call out boldly, “You aren’t from IceClan. What are you doing on IceClan territory?”''

''The cat made disapproving noises. “Silly Gwyn, you’ve been away for so long that you can’t even remember what Raider territory looks like?”''

''I reluctantly stop fruitfully searching for him and focus on my surroundings. It is then that I realize how familiar these landmarks are. I swallow and take a few steps back, only to feel fur brush against me. A deep-throated growl sounds in my ear. “You’re foolish to come out here alone. I’ve been watching you, Gwyn. What happened to your precious Artic?”''

''I hiss but when I try to twist around, the cat pins me down. I can’t see his face. But I would recognize that voice anywhere. “What do you want, Enero?”''

''He laughs. “I want you all to die.”''

''Fear shoots through me but I suppress it. I don’t show fear. “Go ahead,” I taunt, “kill me.”''

''I can almost see his sly smile. “Oh but it’ll be so much fun when Artic sees you die. Of course, I told him I would tear him apart in front of your eyes. Perhaps letting you bleed out would have been better. He can watch Ravenflight die after all.”''

''I don’t know why, but that causes a twinge of jealousy to run through me. “Kill her,” I spit out, “As if I’d care.”''

''Enero’s cruel laugh sounds again. “You don’t like her? Oh, that’s understandable, you must love Artic so much that you can’t even let him go. Give up, he has Ravenflight now.”''

''My breathing becomes ragged. “Kill. Her.”''

''“Why don’t you?” The white tom leans down, putting more pressure on me. I gasp for air. “If you hate her so much, why don’t you kill her instead?”''

''Before I can reply, he disappears. I sit up, filling my lungs with needed air. When my vision clears, I unsheath my claws. As much as I hate Enero, maybe he’s right about one thing.''

Ravenflight has to go.

I let out a wretched scream and lunge for Enero. He dodges and sneers. “You’re going to be a lot of fun, dear Gwyn, I’ll see you next time.”

Before I can land another blow on him, he disappears into the throng. At this moment, the fly warriors burst into the scene. True to my word, the Raiders scatter at the sight of a true enemy. They call for a retreat and in seconds, they’re gone.

All I can do is crumble to the ground, replaying the scene where my claws sink deep into Artic’s stomach.

 There's nothing left of me?