Talk:On Top of the World (Night Visions songfic)/@comment-8248793-20141011182600

SPOILERS

This by far was more confusing than the last, but it wasn't as rushed! I enjoyed the FlameXMoss scene, I do ship them now, I like the change in Flame that you didn't have before when she was Flamegaze.

Even though it wasn't as rushed as the last one, you're still going way too fast. The battle went on for about three paragraphs, and then you made Layla die. You definitely could have made that part longer, and that would have made the scene richer.

I had a problem with Little Snowflake. I didn't know who she was, and I felt as though you just randomly stuck her into the songfic to suit your needs. And how did Mosspaw know her? I think you should try to answer those questions in this songfic.

The demons are starting to bug me. I don't know why they're part of the story, but you've never elaborated about them. I think a good thing to do is to talk about Flame's past and the demons.

The ending of this songfic confused me a bit, perhaps you could add onto it and make a bit more clear?

Good job tho! <3

END SPOILERS