Talk:Singularity/@comment-26432133-20170409030253

(Contest Comment)

SPOILERS

PROLOGUE

Blazey your writing is so pretty aaaaaaaa. Your use of adjectives, metaphors, metaphors, metaphors, ad metaphors is so so beautiful <33

Oo, this cat is interesting. I wonder why he's so depressed-seeming?

CHAPTER ONE

Oh, Dawnkit's....terrifying. She seems really smart yet also really dark. I kind of feel bad for her- no one's taking her questions about life seriously, and I can only guess how she'll end up. And her inflicting self-harm...wow. She's definitely not your usual character in any way. And she's really, really intriguing.

CHAPTER TWO

Foxsong seems pretty sweet. And I'm conflicted with the Clan- I can understand why they're so wary of Dawnpaw (and I'd probably be myself), but I also wish Dawnpaw could be treated like a regular cat. And I love how Sagepaw and Dawnpaw notice the small little movements of their Clanmates. It's not unrealistic that they would; when I'm lying I'll add some small body language to my lie to make my it convincing, so I can easily see how they could be aware of those actions as well.

"Tigerfang nudged her in his direction- since when did she allow others to touch her?- and she came." Ooooo. I like this show of change in her in a single sentence. Blazey you write so well I love your writing soooo much iaeurfhau

Oh, Dawnpaw is most definitely different. I guess some might consider her mentally ill, but I honestly think she has a very...special mind and way of thinking.

Oo, I notice how fancy Dawnpaw speaks in comparison to Sagepaw. It really makes her oddball feel stand out.

OH WHOA WHOA. Dawnpaw is so mysterious. There's no word to describe her better than intriguing. Very, very intriguing. I love her character so much because she's so intriguing wow Blazey wow.

CHAPTER THREE

Dawnpaw, Sagepaw, you're both right about the Clan (at least, I think.) Ah goodness this comment is barely constructive but I love this story so much Blazey finish iiiittttttt.

I'm guessing she's gonna unravel all the systems and because she "unraveled" the cat system, she's gonna expect them to respect her, they're not gonna, she's gonna slide off the edge of sanity and try to force them blah blah tyrant Dawnpaw.

JUDGING:

While the story hasn't gone far enough to get to Dawnpaw's villainy (I'm pretty sure she's gonna be the villain), it's so close I swear I can taste it. I'm dying to read more of this Blazey it's so good. There are no cliches at all in this story, great job, wow I love it I'm going insane I keep complimenting your writing and you and this story but this story deserves all those compliments sfsdaddawuaw

OVERALL THOUGHTS

I love this story to bits write more please please please pleeeeeaaaaaaassssseeeeee

do it for your gross friend dogfood *insert puppy eyes here*