Talk:Fate/@comment-5197876-20130912195451

SPOILERS

Okay, this story is good, I will say. I like the ideas, but I noticed some stuff. Like Robo said, the kits act nothing like kits. They are thinking about love, and their fate, and while it's interesting, they act more like mature warriors.

But I love Sunkit and Moonkit's relationship and their conflicts. The way Sunkit feels that she has to protect Moonkit, made me feel their connection, and I really enjoyed that.

You changed tense a few times. Not too much of a biggie, but do pick one to stick with. I think it would work much better,

SPOILERS END