Talk:Try (Songfic)/@comment-25630395-20160328193017

'*stalks wiki activity and decides to read this*

SPOILERS AND STUFF

Firstly, this song is AMAZING. Good choice *claps*. I love how the lyrics are really simple but there's a much deeper meaning.

The sections inbetween the lyrics are a good length, a perfect length, actually. When reading songfics, I like the ones that aren't just ten pages of story and then two lines of song. Like, the point of a songfic is balance. So that was good, and I think the song fits the story so far.

Ooh, I'm really curious about Aleya. The opening sentence was so intruiging. I feel like she killed Ivan... but I'm not sure why, it seems like she really loves him. Gah. Iwantoknowwhathappensnowwww.

The suspense is building really well, I can feel Aleya's tension and reluctance at her 'backstory'. A suggestion- you might've been able to introduce the flashback in a way that wasn't so... sudden? The 'come from' transition was good, but maybe having Aleya think about not wanting to share her backstory would've been more effective. It works the way you have it though.

Not quite sure what to think of Sootshadow... he seems to care for her, but I'm not sure. You did a nice job of character building though, Aleya's emotions are clear and you don't abandon them for a paragraph or two. I think the first person perspective is especially effective so that the flashbacks and secret aren't so awkward.

Nice job, Firey! I can't wait for the rest.

END OF SPOILRS