Brightsong's Guide to Torturing Your Clanmates

A little guide on how to torture your clanmates!

Intro
Bramblestar is sitting in his den, sharing tongues with Squirrelflight, when a loud noise from outside draws his attention.

Bramblestar: Do you hear that noise?

Squirrelflight: OMG! The ice-cream truck is here!

Bramblestar: What?

Squirrelflight: (runs outside)

Bramblestar: I better stop her before she does anything stupid. (Goes outside)

(Outside, a group of cats has gathered)

Squirrelflight: IS IT THE ICE_CREAM TRUCK?!?!?

Hazeltail: YAY! ICE-CREAM!

Berrynose: Oh my goodness! I'm so excited!!!

Daisy: But you're lactose-intolerant!

Brightheart: HA! YOU STINK!

Berrynose: I'll have an ice lolly!

Daisy: But you're ice lolly-intolerant too!

Squirrelflight: HAHA! BERRYNOSE GETS NO ICE-CREAM!

Brightheart: HIGH-PAW!!!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Icecloud: that's not an ice-cream truck.

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Firestar: ANd you know this.. how?

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Bramblestar: I thought you were dead!!!!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Firestar: Oops. (explodes)

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Bramblestar: That's better.

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Squirrelflight: Maybe it's an ice-cream maker?

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Icecloud: IT SAYS IT"S A TELEPORTING/TIME TRAVEL DEVICE ON IT!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Berrynose: COOL! I WANNA DO THAT!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Sandstorm: WHY ARE WE YELLING?

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Cloudtail: I DON'T KNOW!!!!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">(Two cats step out of the mist)

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: Where the heck are we?

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Griffenclaw: This isn't the pizza place!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Icecloud: Oh, the pizza place is in ShadowClan territory.

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: Then where are WE?!?!?!?

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Ivypool: Who are you?

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Dovewing: You're in ThunderClan.

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Ivypool: YOU DON"T TELL THEM!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Dovewing: What?

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: I'm Brightsong, and this is Griffenclaw

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Griffenclaw: Yo peeps.

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: You said you were a Clan?

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brackenfur: Yep.

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: (grins) Griffenclaw, I know what we're gonna do today.

Give Millie an iPod of Taylor Swift
<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: (walks up to Millie) Hey.

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Millie: (whips around) Oh, it's you.

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong:Who were you expecting?

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Millie: Your brother.

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: I DON"T HAVE A BROTHER!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Millie: That Griffenclaw isn't…

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: No…..

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Millie: Oh. Why are you here?

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: (holds up iPod) This.

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Millie: (suspicious glance) Is there any Taylor Swift?

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: It's all One Direction.

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Millie: OMG! I <3 1D!!!!!! (steals iPod)

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: Yep. Play it.

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Millie: (puts in on)

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: (evil laugh)

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Millie: (hears Taylor Swift) ARGH! MY EARS!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Ivypool: What did you just do?

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Bumblestripe: Who cares? It's funny!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brackenfur: I'm kinda freaked out.

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Millie: (runs around screaming) NUUUUU!!!!!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Sorreltail: Uh-oh. This could be bad.

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Cinderheart: Why do you care?

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: This could be bad…

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Millie: (runs around, and mauls Daisy)

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Daisy: OW!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Millie: MAKE THIS STOP!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightheart: HAHA! SUCKERS!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Griffenclaw: (comes in with pizza)

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: Really?

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Griffenclaw: ShadowClan makes good pizza!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: Ack. (mauls Daisy)

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightheart: OMG! DAISY HATER!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: BRIGHTHEART! (tackle hugs her)

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightheart: (parties)

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Millie: GET IT OFF! (jumps into the lake)

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Cloudtail: (pads in) Hey, Brightheart, I brought the kits.

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightheart: Good. Today I'm teaching them to hate, and maul Daisy.

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: YAY!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Millie: (runs in screaming) I HATE YOU BRIGHTSONG!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: (hisses) Don't you dare hurt me!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Millie: Why not?

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightheart: (puts on more Taylor Swift)

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Millie: YELP!

<p style="margin-left:0pt;margin-right:0pt;text-align:left;text-indent:0pt">Brightsong: (checks Millie off list)