Forbidden Life

Entire thing comes out on Wednesday. This is just a preview.

p r o l o g u e
Just a whisper floated in the sky.

"I will tell them."

The training cats recognized that voice.

A harsh whisper followed it.

"Listen…"

The sandy tabby stood near the cliffs of StarClan with two cats near him.

"Listen Lightningstripe and Quailfur."

Lightningstripe looked in awe as his mentor started to shape the orb into something magical. The wind orb stayed in the air for a second before Talonstripe unleashed it into the air.

The wind orb was fighting the other winds but the orb was winning.

And the first StarClan tree fell down. The first tree of the war.

"This is how you control the wind."

Talonstripe's voice boomed in the air. It stayed there for a second before it drifted away.

"Quailfur, don't be so jealous of your sister who has more power in the winds since birth. You will soon take her place," Talonstripe smiled smugly.

"And you, Lightningstripe, don't worry. You have the natural talent in your blood."

The three cats stood in the cliffs, still.

t h e s t o r y
I am nothing.

They may say that I have power.

I am dying.

Just let me be a martyr.

Opposite of anything.

All my kin dead.

That was just what they said.

Just a word to clutch on too…

Flameheart.

I am suffering. Not on the outside. In the inside.

Some say that you don't know how something is worth to you until it is gone. And I know that.

Before, Ivypaw was a pain in the tail. But she is gone.

Rosepaw was very annoying. She is gone.

Mother was overprotective. She is gone.

Father was too busy. He is gone.

Volestar didn't care for me. He is gone.

Lizardclaw died, Snakepaw died and many more.

They died.

Nothing is here for me.

Only twelve moons, I wanna flee…

Nothing is here.

I am alive, but good as dead. Has a body, but is empty of life. Sometimes I think I should have killed myself. Just like Birdcloud and Ivypaw.

You can't convince someone to have interest in life again. Time can only heal that.

Sometimes time can't heal wounds that will never be sealed.

Sometimes death seems better than this.

But Deerstar says I have a job to do.

A job…

I feel myself slipping away from reality. I feel my soul slipping away.

Let them take my body…

Let them steal my identity…

Robinfur and Starlingwing tries to fix this mental breakdown thing but it doesn't work. Whatever herb it takes to fix it won't work.

My paws are cold and clammy.

I need to exit this world.

"Breezepaw!"

A voice carries me back to the real world.

My hands are wet and cold.

I have about much use as some mold.

"Breezepaw!"

It was that voice again. It takes all my strength to lift my head up, seeing Snowpaw glaring at me.

"Honestly, you are having those mental breakdowns again. I thought they were all gone by now. By this rate you will be an elder by tomorrow," he snorted.

Snowpaw never had a close relationship with anyone who died. He wasn't the murderer of almost everyone in ShadowClan.

I was in dawn patrol with Snowpaw, Yellowstripe, and Forestfur.

"Oh and did you see Softwing's kits today? They are so cute!"

"So what? They are just kits," I scowled.

Snowpaw's expression turned into some hurtful expression. "They… they… are my younger brothers and sisters!" he protested.

If he wanted to survive through the attack, he need to be stronger than that.

Stupidity, shallow, thinks he is above…

How does Mousefire keeps her love?

"Oh and I can't believe you are going to be a warrior!" Snowpaw chirped.

Yeah, and my warrior thing. We needed warriors so even though I didn't pass the final assessment, Graystar wanted me to be a warrior.

Snowpaw was chirping baby birds on the way back from dawn patrol.

I wanna call him Chirpingpaw from now on.

I was still not allowed to speak about the wind thing.

Sorta private.

But I had a dream yesterday. Starting to sound like the Great O Mighty Firestar?

(Oh and Sparrowstar requested a new warrior code the last gathering. He wanted a code that makes everyone say Great O Mighty Firestar whenever we mention his name. But Graystar rejected it. It is a mouthful.)

After getting a small shrew from the freshkill pile, I was directed directly towards the medicine cat's den. Yellowstripe was complaining about how useless it was to have a psychopath warrior.

I can't say I am a psychopath.

But one thing is certain. We need warriors.

No control inside of me,

I am a psychopath to-be.

Everyday I have a specific schedule. I go on a dawn patrol every morning, eat a small meal, then go to the medicine cat's den to see my condition.

It is something that they never faced before. They talked with it with the other medicine cat's but only Gorsewillow had faced it with this queen. And she killed herself with some deathberries.

And I don't want to kill myself with deathberries. But I do want to die.

And if I do die, I will be up in StarClan with my mother.

After the medicine cat's den, I go do some training. Then another small meal, another visit to the medicine cat's den and then I rest.

Tiring, right?

It might not sound that tiring to you but for a cat that has a mending rib, it does.

It was because of Snowpaw's idiocy again. He wanted to get a squirrel for Tabbyfur but a squirrel climbed up a tree. What I would do was to go catch another one. But no, Snowpaw needed to catch THAT one so he climbed up a tree but got stuck. He was scared of heights.

And guess what?

Pineclaw, who was with me, was frozen in fear. So I needed to retrieve Snowpaw. In the process, the tree bark bruised my ribs. My fur brushed against the bark but once, Snowpaw jerked upright and almost made me lost my grip on him.

And that made my ribs slam against the rough bark.

It wasn't broken but mending. Slowly. Not that slowly to me.

When I entered the medicine cat's den, I knew something was wrong.

TBC