Talk:Polar Zone/@comment-26432133-20170301051740

ahem

i wrote this super long and very constructive comment on the entire story in general

and then i forgot to make a copy of it before i posted the comment in case wikia killed it

welp wikia killed it "as a precaution against session hijacking" ;-;

so this comment is probably gonna be less constructive and shorter but let's do ittttt-

SPOILERS

note: super duper unorganized comment

* joins firey's chant* LUCIFLY LUCIFLY LUCIFLY LUCIFLY

idc if it's bc riverfrost and lucifer are related or not, lucifer had to forgive him. it's not healthy to stay mad at someone like that yay for lucifer

everly is super amazing?? she fits into the role of leader perfectly, and unlike how sues do it, it's super natural. she befriends them, makes a few decisions for them, and eventually they look up to her. she holds them together and she lifts them up individually when someone's down (i.e. plover, lucifer) that's how it works irl, that's how it should work in a story, so good job rainy!!

your balance of warm and fuzzy moments and intense ones is really awesome! you've got skills to do that so well

lucifer's change from emotionless killing machine to feeling character (with the added bonus of lucifly) is really well written! it's not just the lack of asara that makes it so real, it's his transition and the way you wrote it. he doesn't go from asara-drugged emotionless killing machine to POOF!! happy sunshine and rainbows angel!! no, he's still a complex character struggling with the jumbled mess of a life he's got

my only complaints are that DiAngelo (i can never stop thinking of nico) seems to be kind of put into the story so that lucifer can fulfill the prophecy. he also appeared pretty suddenly too, without all that much connection to the rest of the story. Greer was the real villain and now that she's gone, he has no point other than "one more threat before the story's resolution" and honestly greer did a much better job as a threat. even from the grave she's fighting for control- this time over the role of bad guy, haha. jett also never really backed off of everly. While I'm all for a lack of a love triangle, a more official parting would've been nice (but if you did do that and i missed it, then wHooPS)

ahhhhhhh you write so well rainy. if anyone has any objections i can very quickly change your minds ok *raises rapunzel frying pan*

END SPOILERS

fun fact: i've read maybe 10 pages of six of crows so far, but let me say that while it is interesting, PZ is way more interesting and engaging in the beginning, and therefore SoC is sitting in my room not being read while i attack PZ. kudos to you for that ;)

second fun fact: crabcakes, i almost forgot to make a copy of this comment too :c