Talk:Skyclan divided/@comment-25531638-20130613003123

Okay, let's see. Now you have progressed with this, I will try to leave a constructive comment :D

So it's pretty good so far. I especially liked Lichenfur's story. I just thought that the prophecy was a little too obvious. Another thing I liked was how you described Tawnypelt's eyes reflecting the dying rays of the sun, that was really intriguing.

As for Dappleshine, her character is completely obnoxious, in that way that makes you completely hate her. I would just suggest to give her a bit of a sensitive side as the story progresses, yet don't strip her of her annoying-ness.