Talk:Wings/@comment-25630395-20150502050425

SPOILERS.

Okay, so this is just AMAZING. You're writing is one of the best I've ever seen, and this story is just too wonderful for words. I'm going to be contructive now.

CHARACTERS:

Firstly, your characters are super complex and developed. Dreampaw is more than 'I'm bullied and I need someone to stand up for me', she's someone I actually like and feel sorry for, especially when she has the ability to realize that her life isn't the toughest. The one thing that frustrated me was when Thistlepaw asked her why Hollypaw was dead, and Dreampaw didn't say that Hollypaw was trying to kill her. It probably wasn't in her nature- but HOLLYPAW SHOULD HAVE DIED A WAY WORSE DEATH FOR WHAT SHE'S DONE >:DDDD

Anyhoo, Ambersky is lovely. And Flamepaw. I like how it's not Dreampaw meeting a tom that loves her despite her wings, but a character who is mysterious and friendly. I also like how it's not predictable with a mother-who-hates-her kind of thingy, but with Rainwhisker who actually cares for her ( a bit).

PLOT:

Like a few other users have pointed out, the kit-bullied-because-of-deformity/ kits-are-bullies-because-they-are-jerks plot is visible here, but it's twisted a bit. Thistlepaw's addition to the story, and how he is kind of indescisive about wether he's on the GO DREAMPAW team or not is fabulous. And Hollypaw *grins teeth*  got off easy in my opinion.

I also believe that Skyheart wasn't introduced enough in the story, but perhaps you intended it to be that way?

DESCRIPTIONS

The pelt colours begining was unique and a great intro to the story. It also enhanced the imagery in the reader's minds, which was great. If I were to suggest one thing, it would be the families. Sometimes I was a little confused about who was related to who, e.g., Snowcloud and Whitesky. And then there was Birdpelt...?

But overall, I am in love with this story. You are my role model <3

END OF SPOILERS