Heart of Snow

~Chapter One~
The worst day of my life was the day Birchstar died. Or more appropriately, the day Ivygaze became leader. Which, now that I think about it, could possibly make me a bad sister.

I couldn't help it. I had slowly watched Ivygaze get everything as we grew up. The memories flash through my head one by one, each more painful. The day I walked in on the elders merrily telling Ivykit a story and was asked who I was. The day Birchstar offered to mentor Ivypaw and I got the worst cat in the whole clan, Blackstorm. The time when Ivypaw had gone through three assesments, all sucessfully passed, and I hadn't even had a chance. The day we had to choose partners in training and Beetlepaw and Thornpaw fought over Ivypaw and wanted to be a trio, while I had no partner. The list goes on and on.

I can understand why it's easy for other cats to love my sister. She is gorgeous, intimidating, and dominating. She has a tall, lanky frame and long silver-and-white layers that seem to be constantly blowing around her even when not a breeze is stirring. And her large, clear green eyes seem to put each tom she meets in a trance. I think even little Heatkit once asked her to be his mate. Yet she has no mate. She prefers to hold the power of her beauty over all the toms, leading them on to do her beck and call, then leaving them in the dust. I've watched it happen time and time again.

Ivygaze is horribly jealous. She makes life so hard for us she-cats, not letting us eat with the toms, making us go last in everything, sending us on separate patrols. It's a wonder some "accident" hasn't happened to Ashsong's kits yet.

The one thing I have buried deep in my heart though, is my parents. Beepelt and Honeywind. They never made me feel inferior. In fact, there were times when I thought they viewed Ivygaze almost the way I did. Devious. Cruel. Unstoppable. But they couldn't have, because she was just a kit when they died. A spoiled brat of a kit yes, but a kit all the same. How could they have known? It's probably best that they didn't know. It would've broken their hearts. Still, nothing can stop me from wishing they hadn't died, from cursing badgers for all eternity for taking them from me. They were all I had.

And so, when the newly named Ivystar walked through the thorny barrier and into our camp, I was not the proud sister you might imagine. Yes, I was the bitter bystander. No, I didn't care.

The first thirty minutes of Ivystar's leadership went by sickeningly, but not extremely painfully. She stood in the middle of the camp, twirling and laughing and accepting the congratulations of every SnowClan tom. Then she climbed onto the Leader's Rock and hit us with her first bomb.

"Cats of SnowClan, I just want to say that I am extremely flattered to be leader." Pinecloud and I exchange looks that say, ''Here we go. ''"But I think that our clan needs a few changes."

Cold claws of fear grapple my stomach. My sister practically ruled the clan when she was deputy; in Birchstar's eyes she could do no wrong. What was she planning now?

"First, I think the idea of having a deputy is silly." Pinecloud, Ashsong, Blackstorm, Whisperpelt, and I, or rather every she-cat in the clan besides Aquakit and Summerkit, stared at her as if she had suggested we become vegetarians. The toms were nodding and murmuring agreement, or rather, whispers of admiration. "We cannot rely on the judgement of just two cats."

"Please," hissed Pinecloud under her breath. "We'll only be relying on her judgement and she knows it."

"So instead of selecting a deputy, I shall select a council of four cats to help me with my decision. This is a great honor, and I hope you realize so. Beetlefur, Thornfur, Weaselclaw, and Blackfire."

The first three names made sense to me. They were the three toms who adored her the most, who practically drooled whenever she was around. But Blackfire? He was the one tom in our clan that didn't seem to have been brainwashed by my sister's charms. He never hesitated to argue with her or disagree. Maybe that's why she paid so much attention to him. He was a prize to be won, and Ivystar had always liked a good challenge. She must be trying to win him over. Somehow the thought of our last hope that Ivystar wasn't the only she-cat toms paid attention to in the world disappearing made my blood boil. She couldn't have everything!

The four toms stepped forward. Beetlefur was so excited he was shaking. Ivystar's green gaze travelled over them approvingly, stopping on Blackfire. "From now on, you shall sleep outside my den, and answer to me whenever I call. Is that understood?"

"Yes!" chorused Thornfur and Weaselclaw. Beetlefur screamed something incoherent, and Blackfire remained silent, his golden eyes cool and relaxed under my sister's hypnotic powers. I had to admit, I was impressed. After moons of seeing toms to nuts for her, it was nice to see Ivystar get snubbed.

If she noticed, which I'm sure she did, she didn't let on. "Everyone else, you may select something from the fresh-kill pile." The toms turned and left, but before we could go, she said in a much nastier tone, "Not you. You four go hunt. We need more prey. You cannot stuff your faces without contributing anything to the clan you know. Ashsong, get a mouse and go to your worthless kits. Jump to it now!"

"Okay," I meow hurriedly. The last thing I want is to appear to challenger her, but apparently Ivystar isn't done with me.

"Snowheart, you stay for a bit. You can catch up later." Shooting me an apoligetic glance, Pinecloud leads the patrol out of the camp.

"What is it Ivystar?" I say. Her green eyes are petrifying me to where I stand, making me reel with fear. I want to run, but I can't. Something tells me this is not a healthy sister-to-sister relationship.

"Oh nothing really. I just wanted to ask you to do me a favor. I can trust you, right?" Her face clearly spells out what my only answer to that question can be.

"Of course."

"Good. I want you to go and ask Blackfire to take a walk with you. While on this walk, I want you to ask him a few questions."

"Me?" I'm completely confused now. I thought Ivystar hated for toms and she-cats in her clan to interact, like there was any chance one of us would get a mate when she's around to gawk at. Does she really think that I'm so repulsive no one would ever think of me like that?

"Yes you. Go do it. Now." There's no room for argument. I have no choice. Turning, I spot Blackfire standing with the new Council, looking bored. I take a deep breath. It's now or never.

"Snowheart!" I freeze as I hear Ivystar's sing-song voice call out behind me. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Huh?" I ask.

What some cats would mistake for a playful smile, but I know as a cruel one, dances across her face. "The questions Snowheart. Or were you just so excited at the thought of a walk with Blackfire that it slipped your mind?"

I keep my face completely blank. I have no idea what she's talking about, but I've learned this is the best way to react to her little jabs and pointed remarks. Pretend you don't notice. Make her feel smart. It deflects the sting without getting you in trouble. "What should I ask him?" I say in a monotone voice.

"Ask him how he feels about me being leader. Lead it up to about me in general. Whether he likes me." Ivystar's eyes narrow. "Alone."

I know what she means. No one can know she put me up to this. I nod my head. "Good. Now go."

I turn and walk over to Blackfire. He ignores me. I clear my throat. Still nothing. "Blackfire?" Finally all four toms stop talking and turn to look at me. Or rather through me. I doubt it even registers in their brains who I am.

"Yes?" he says, his intense copper eyes boring into me.

"Can we go for a walk?" I hold my breath, waiting for the cruel cut down. What will I do then?

"Why?"

"Um, I don't know."

"Really?" He's mocking me now, I can feel it. Tears brim up in my eyes, but I fight them back frantically.'' I will not cry. I won't give them, and Ivystar, the satisfaction of it. ''

To my surprise, his eyes soften. "Okay," he grumbles. "But it better be important."

"It is," I stammer, still in shock that he said yes. We head out of the camp. I can see the path the hunting patrol took, and go the opposite way. I don't want any of the others getting suspicious. "So," I say. "Ivystar's leader now."

He blinks at me like I am the dumbest cat he's ever met. "Yes," he says slowly.

"How do you feel about that?"

He watches me closely, like he's estimating whether this is a trap. "I don't know. Not really anything. I mean, I know some toms, er, warriors, were really excited about it, but it's no big deal. She hasn't proved herself to be anything but a mouse-brain, choosing a coucil like that." He seems to realize what he said, and turns away. "Of course, now you'll tell her. Sisters always stick together. Oh well. I don't want a position on the council anyway. Ivystar is-"

"I couldn't have said it better myself," I meow. He looks surprised for an instant, then gives me a curt nod.

"So... you aren't a spy?"

How did I get so off track? "Never mind," I tell him. "The point is, do you like Ivystar? You know, as a cat?"

He grimaced. "About as much as I like poison ivy. They didn't make a mistake in naming her, though she always says it's because of her eyes."

Vexed to find a smile tugging on the corners of my lips, I sigh. "Well, that's all I guess. Let's go back."

He looks hurt. "Wait. How about going down to the Lily Pond? We can hunt too.

I hesitate, then shrug. "Sure. It can't hurt." We head down SnowClan's rocky slopes towards the fir trees that ring Lily Pond. Our camp is nestled on a stony ledge that juts out of the hill, backed by a mossy cliff-wall, and our high vantage point lets us spot any intruders.

Upon entering the fir trees, I feel right at home. The cozy scent of pine and gentle aroma of late greenleaf flowers wreath around me like a cloud. For once, I'm completely happy. The Lily Pond is the most beautiful place in our harsh, bare territory. Surrounded by leaning fronds, whistling ferns, tall grasses, and nodding reeds, it's dark green waters hold a mysterious power. Pale green lily pads skim it's surface with their translucent delicacy, supporting the weight of luciously budding pink and white water lilies, whose petals are now fully opened cups. For a second I'm silent, just taking it all in. Blackfire is silent too, his gaze travelling from me to the pond, then back to me.

Finally he clears his throat. "I smell a mouse on that side. See you in a few minutes." He stalks off, his black pelt only an extension of the shadowy ground.

I scented the air, and caught a strong squirrel-smell. Our squirrels are stringy and tough, but at this point, with the little food we she-cats got, I would accept anything. Dropping into a stealthy crouch, I creep through the ferns till I see it sitting at the base of a pine tree. Muscles tense, I wait in my hiding place till it comes closer, then pounce. It doesn't have a chance. I nip it's neck quickly and began digging a hole to bury it, ignoring the mouth-watering aroma drifting into my nostrils. Maybe with our prey and the hunting patrol's combined, there'll finally be enough to fill our bellies.

Blackfire is back, appearing like a black ghost out of the blue. He has a mouse in his jaws. Pushing me roughly aside, he drops it in the hole I've dug, then covers it.

"Hey!" I protest. "I have to bury my squirrel."

He rolls his eyes at me. "Eat it."

"What? That's against the warrior code."

His golden eyes flash with a strange light. "There is no warrior code anymore Snowheart. Ivystar will lead SnowClan to destruction, but the least we can do is not starve. I can see your bones through your pelt, and it's only greenleaf."

I start to take a bite, then pause. "It's not fair. What about the others?"

Blackfire blinks. "What others?"

"The other she-cats. We all don't get enough food."

He hesitates, then gives me a small smile. "I'll see that they get some."

I'm not that easily appeased. Living with Ivystar has taught me to never take things for granted. "How?"

"Well, now that I'm a member of the Council, I'm sure I'll get even more prey, more then I'll ever be able to eat. I'll bring some to you tonight outside the camp, by the bushes at the edge of the ledge. Can you meet me there?"

"Sure," I say. "But why are you doing this?"

His gaze is steady. "Because. I'm a warrior, whatever Ivystar does in her clan. And the clan comes first. Whatever it costs, it's my job."

I look at my paws, taken aback slightly. Then I nudge the squirrel towards him. "Do you want some?"

He shakes his head. "We're kept well fed. You need it all."

"Thank you." He only shrugs. I bend my head and began gulping the fresh-kill down. Warm meat slides down my throat as I tear into the prey ravenously. Blackfire is silent, and I'm sure he thinks I'm a pig. But I'm so hungry it doesn't matter.

"Let's get back," he meows. I nod, and he picks up his prey and trots slightly ahead of me as we leave the pine forest and start up the rocky slope. My pads are hardened after a lifetime of climbing, and I quickly catch up with him. The camp comes into sight, and we both enter the thorny barrier at the same time, pushing our bodies together.

Feeling a warm flush of embarassment shoot through me, I quicklly scramble into the camp, leaving a few tufts of swirled silver, dark gray, and snowy fur caught on the bushes' limbs. Blackfire follows, and heads for the fresh-kill pile.

Pinecloud runs towards me. "What happened to you?" she askes in a low voice. "We were wondering where you were."

Whisperpelt walks over as well, her olive green eyes worried. "Why were you with Blackfire? If Ivystar finds out..."

"It's not like that," I meow. "I'll tell you in our den, but you have to promise to keep it a secret."

"You know we will," says Pinecloud, brushing her light brown coat against mine. I know I can trust them, even Blackstorm. We're a close-knit family. Oddly, Ivystar's treatment of us has only strengthened our bonds.

Ashsong peeks out from the nursery, Aquakit, Summerkit, and Heatkit at her legs. I shoot her a small smile to show I'm all right, and she returns it, then vanishes quickly. She can't risk being to conspicious, or Ivystar might go after her and her kits.

We head for the den which we sleep in, a small cave near the edge of the camp, with it's back to the thorn bushes. It's sheltered by a few gnarled branches, but we've thatched it up with straw and dried grass, which really helps in the winter. The other warriors, or should I say, toms, are heading to their den, a big spacious overhang near the stone back of our camp. Ivystar's den is further up the wall, with a small path leading up to it.

The den was originally dank and damp, but we've added bits of decoration and patched it up into quite a cozy place. It's probably a good thing Ivystar never comes to visit us; she'd insist we take it all down. There are flowers tucked in between the walls, Pinecloud's idea, feathers that Whisperpelt collected, and a collection of pretty stones that Ashsong brought before she became a queen. Blackstorm brings nothing but a cranky attitude, but at least she's one of us. That's enough for now, I guess.

"So, spill." The other she-cats focus on me expectantly. Blackstorm is asleep, so there's no danger of her overhearing. Though she was my mentor and is a relatively honest cat, if ill-tempered, I still don't want her to hear.

"Okay," I say. "Well, Ivystar wanted me to talk to Blackfire and ask him a few questions."

"About what?" Pinecloud asks, tucking her tail around herself snugly.

"About whether he liked her or not, and whether he was happy she was leader."

"And?"

"He's not." I see the others try to control their laughter. "But we also decided something else. He's going to bring us prey tonight. Since he's a member of the Council, he'll get more prey then he needs, so he'll bring some out of the camp, and I'll meet him and bring it around the thorn barrier to you guys." I hope it sounds better to them, instead of like we'll be taking other cat's food.

I needn't have feared. Their eyes are shining. "Really? That's really nice of him! You must have really turned up the charm Snowheart."

I glare at them. "No. He offered actually."

"Sure," Pinecloud says, whiskers twitching. I sigh.

"Do you want the prey or not?" They nod their heads. "Then shut up."

Chapter Two
The others try to shield me from view as I try to squeeze through an opening at the back of our den. Finally I wriggle through the thorny branches. I turn to face them. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Whisperpelt nods. "Be careful."

I smile and head into the darkness. Quickly making my way down the slope and out of the camp, I scent the air. He's here. I make out his dark outline as he pads toward me over the moonlit rock. The smell of fresh-kill reaches my nostrils. He stops a few tail-lengths away, his golden eyes glowing. "Snowheart."

"Blackfire." I don't know what else to say. "Thanks for coming."

His eyes narrow slightly. "Did you think I wouldn't?" Before I could say anything, he drops the prey and stalks off, calling over his shoulder, "Not every tom is Ivystar's minion you know."

I blink, and he's gone. This was not how I envisioned his heroic sacrifice going. Picking up the prey, I tell myself that all that matters is the fact that my friends will get enough to eat. Yeah right. I can't even fool myself.

I sneak into the den again. The she-cats crowd around me, including Blackstorm. I drop the prey and race out of the mob. "Should we take some to Ashsong?"

Blackstorm glares at me and speaks through a mouthful of mouse. "No. She gets enough prey because she's a queen."

I frown. "Getting prey isn't the same as getting enough. I'm taking some to her."

"Wait," meowed Whisperpelt. "Ivystar might get suspicious if you're the only one doing things. I'll go." Before I can protest, she slips out with a squirrel in her jaws.

"Here," Pinecloud say. "You deserve the most." She nudges a pile of prey toward me.

I shake my head, not knowing how to explain that I already had a squirrel. Still, it seems like a far off memory, so I select a shrew from the pile and began eating. Whisperpelt comes back, and we finish off the prey at alarming speed. Pinecloud rests back on her haunches contentedly. "StarClan bless Blackfire."

I'm not so sure about that. I don't know what his motives were in this, but I won't question them for now, seeing my friends so happy. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.