Talk:Mapleshade's Heart/@comment-2143393-20130624001115

Good job so far! There are however a few spelling mistakes:

At the end of the proluge, it says "she knew that StarClan needed to be tought a lesson". Tought should be spelled taught.

At the beginning of chapter 1 Sootkit says "Why is so bright?" and I think it should be "Why is it so bright?". Unless the spelling mistake was intentional because Sootkit is a kitten and may have poor grammar at a young age.

In chapter 1 is says ' "Yeah, the apprentices are so cool.  Look, they even tought us the hunter's crouch," Applekit added ' Again, the word tought should be taught.

And finally in chapter's 1 and 2 it says they are from Mapleshade's POV (first person writing), but they are not, they are in third person.

Third person is where the writer describes the story from their point of view. Example: "Maplekit ran across the clearing to her sister Lillykit." The writer will refer to each charecter either as their name, "he" or "she".

In first person writing, you are pretending that you are the charecter and you're describing what happened to you. If something is from Maplekit's POV, then the writer is pretending that Maplekit is writing the book and describing what happened to her. Example: "I ran across the clearing to my sister Lillykit."

Those were the only mistakes I could find. :) I like how the proluge starts with her as a full-grown cat and then in chapter one it goes back to her previous life as a kit. I enjoy how you're taking your time with the story and not speeding things up a lot. Keep up the great work!