User blog:SmudgyHollz/Awesome, Funny But Totally Mental Dude

Okay, see when my Mum and Dad went to school (my new school) they had this useless Guidance Teacher called Mr P (there's more to it than that but I'm not gonna say the rest). He was always rushing about, running into a classroom and asking, "Am I supposed to be in here?". The kids back then had nicknamed him Shavey Davey.

But he retired before I started this school. Or did he?

So on Friday, I walk into Registration, thinking it was just another day. But it soon becomes clear that it is not an ordinary day as we are left sitting in the classroom alone for ages, and Mrs G (again, more to it than that) is never late. After a few more minutes of waiting, the door bursts open and this ragged old guy walks in and begins to speak to us like we're deaf. He shouts,

"Your from Forbes, right? I used to be the Guidance Teacher from Forbes before I retired. I still come in now and again to see that everybody is fine."

We all look at him expectantly. I don't know if you guys have Registration wherever you live, got the whole point of it is to get registered. After a moment he catches on, and goes over to the desk and starts to rummage around. Talking to himself. He does the register, doing twitchy things with his hands and then reads out the bullitin. Once he had finished asking us all if we had seen a missing piano stool anywhere, he suddenly goes,

"Oh that reminds me!" He turns to Carli (who's from Midmar). "What do you call a person from Midmar?" Without giving her time to answer, he carries on, "A Midmarshon!". We're saved from him when the bell rings.

As you have probably guessed, that was Mr P. But as you have probably not guessed, that was not the last of him.

On Wednesday, I walked into Geography for a double period and again, we were left waiting. Then the door bursts open and a ragged old guy walks in. After his, "I'm not your normal Geography teacher but you can call me Mrs W if you like", and his, "Who here is from Forbes?" buisness, he carries on with the register. Again, he was shouting us like we were as deaf as posts. And this boy named Scott decided to try his luck. When his name was called, he yelled,

"HERE!"

Mr P turns to look at Scott. We all hold our breaths and there is a while of icy silence. And then Mr P nods and says,

"Good boy, nice and loud."

He carries on, calling Carli Carl and then asking her the same Midmar person joke. Before he could tell her the answer, Carli cuts in,

"A Midmarshon."

Mr P looks at her weirdly and shouts, in an almost accusing way.

"Who told you that?"

Carli and the others that had been in the same Registration class all look at him weirdly.

The lesson carries on. And then there's the practice fire drill. You know teachers are supposed to leave last, right? Well he leaps out in front of us all!

So we line up in the cold and rain. The only funny bit is when we see (I have to tell you his full name 'cos it's funny!) Mr Comfort the Guidance Teacher wearing sandals and sunglasses, standing in a large pile of mud and getting rained on.

After ages of lining up, we went back inside and continued the lesson. It's soon over.

And that's the end of him. Or is it?

On my very next lesson, PSE (Personal and Social Education), we got him again. So he does the register and everything and then there's a knock on the door. It's the police. No I'm kidding! I'm not! Anyway, turns out PC What's His Name was supposed to be taking the lesson and Mr P wasn't needed at all! He sits on a spare desk on the back anyway!!

Weird school I go to, huh? Hey and my French teacher (the one on Monday's), taught my mum too! She was kinda a bit ... but not scary crazy, she's really nice and everything. Anyway, yeah, I used to know her, before moving up to this school, as The Chilli Lady That We Have A Picture Of. It may sound weird but its not. It's just we use her chilli recipe and my mum has a picture of her in one of our many photo albums.

Well, that's enough of that. Bye! :)