Angels in the Sky

 ANGELS IN THE SKY

Episode Eight, Season Six, of Rise.

Enjoy <3

Angels in the Sky
We bury Aleric next to Ruby. I sit in front of the two graves and stare at the rock that marked Aleric’s grave. I still can’t believe he’s dead.

I hear pawsteps behind me and I know it’s Terran. The white tom has been hovering near me since the battle ended. Since the war ended.

I don’t turn around and he doesn’t come all the way forward. It’s his way of paying respect for the dead.

“You know, when we first met him, I didn’t think I’d ever miss him when he was gone. But I mean, I never thought I’d outlive him. He was the greatest assassin the world ever knew. Nobody could even harm him.” My words are coming out faster and faster, in a mess of pain and grief.

“I can’t believe he’s dead,” I whisper.

Terran wraps his tail around me and pulls me into him. I can feel his wet tears on my pelt. I find myself crying as well.

“We’re all in shock,” Terran murmurs, pressing his head to mine. “Karina’s…” He doesn’t need to finish the sentence. The dark gray she-cat hasn’t left the den since the battle.

“It shouldn’t have been him,” my voice dies again.

“I know,” Terran rocks me against him, holding me close. “But we have to move on. We can’t let his death cripple us forever.”

“What is there to move on to?” I ask, “The wars are all over. Peace is finally here.”

I can’t help but remember the first time I had met Aleric, battling the scattered Blood Army cats. He had sought me out to talk to me, not to fight. With Aleric, it had never been about war. He had been in love with Karina the entire time.

Then I remember when Terran was gone, I had scouted the borders so often I tripped over Aleric sleeping on the border. There was no ill intention in him; he had only asked about Karina before leaving again.

And even after he revealed what he had done to Calpyso, to Presidia, and to Firepaw, I found it in my heart to forgive him. Aleric had fought past his demons to kill the High Committee and he managed not to let it shatter him.

I don’t know anyone braver than the assassin who had thought he had lost his soul.

I think there’s a lot I can learn from him.

Terran brushes his nose against my ear. “I miss him too,” Terran tells me, “I wish we were nicer to him at the end…but…”

Tears crowd my eyes again. Aleric had given up so much. He had been so broken and so unsure of himself but when he had gone to the Twolegplace for my herbs, he had managed to rise past his fears one last time.

And when he had come back, he had changed again. He had put aside his self-hate to realize that there was good in him and he could make Karina happier by being the tom he could have been had the Blood Army not existed.

“I wanted to save him,” I whisper. “I wanted to make sure he never killed again.”

“He didn’t need saving from us,” Terran replies, “he needed to save himself and he did that.”

My tears spill on the floor. Terran buries his muzzle into my fur as he breathes out. “His spirit still lives with us, Bryce. He’ll want us to be strong and move on. We can pick up the pieces and help each other. He’s somewhere safe now, where no one can ever hurt him again. They can’t use him like the Blood Army did, and they can’t shatter him.”

I nod once, holding onto Terran’s words. I can almost imagine Aleric standing in front of me, that playful smirk on his face, daring me to move on, to stop the onslaught of tears. Come on, he would say, you’ve gotten over your parents’ deaths and your sister’s death but you can’t get over mine?

“Let’s go back to camp,” Terran tugs me up and together, we leave our memories behind.

~

The first time Karina exited the den, she found herself at the border, but not where he was buried. She stared down at the ground and told herself not to cry. She had shed enough tears over his body, and in the den. She didn’t want to cry anymore.

She didn’t go to his grave. Karina didn’t think she could stand going there. The border was as far as Karina could make it.

There was a swish of fur and Analese settled herself next to Karina. Karina hadn’t formally met Analese yet but she heard from Bryce that Aleric had met her in the Twolegplace. The two sat there for a long time before Analese turned to face her.

“Are you okay?” She asked, her eyes searching for a good answer.

“No,” Karina answered truthfully.

“I’m really sorry about Aleric,” Analese shook his head, her eyes wandering along the border, “he really was a nice tom.”

Karina tried to ignore the stabbing pain she felt at the mention of the tom. “Did you know him well?”

“Not well,” the other she-cat admitted, “but he was very polite and sincere when I met him. It was fascinating to meet a tom like him in the Twolegplace.”

Karina let out a sigh. “I don’t get what he meant at the end. Why were his last words ‘I’m glad I saved you’? There was more meaning to it, I know it. He just didn’t have enough time to tell me.”

“I don’t think he would have told you,” Analese admitted. “You’ve been with him for so long that if he wanted to, he would have told you already.”

“Do you know?”

“Yes.”

There was a heartbeat of silence before Analese talked again. “Her name was Elena. She was my best friend and the reason I actually met Aleric. He was seeing her, but for an assignment. She was his mission, but he was still young and rather innocent. Rather than sticking to his mission, he fell in love.

“They hung out a lot together and Aleric was madly in love. I could tell by the way he couldn’t stop looking at Elena, and by that time, I didn’t know he was an assassin. I was truly happy for the both of them.

“But one day someone slipped Aleric’s secret to Elena. She was furious. When Aleric came over, she accused him of lying to her and attacked him. Aleric told me he didn’t want to do anything, but he knew Elena would never stop until she had him. He didn’t want her to suffer in the paws of the Blood Army, so he killed her.”

“No,” Karina gasped. “He didn’t.”

Analese lowered her gaze. “You should be glad you touched his heart, Karina. I did research on him afterwards; he was ice-cold. He was untouchable after Elena’s death. The emotionless tom you met? That was what he was like after. Before, I remember the light and laughter that filled him.”

Karina really did feel like crying now. “So he was glad he saved me because he felt like he failed Elena?”

“He did fail her,” Analese pawed at the ground. “He must have said that because he felt it was suitable for him. He killed the first she-cat he loved and saved the last.”

Karina continued to try to hold back her tears. Analese drew closer so they were brushing pelts.

“Cry,” she commanded, “it’s okay for you to feel grief. You loved him after all. It’s okay for you to cry.”

So Karina did. She poured her heart out for a tom she would never have. For a tom who revived her after she thought she had lost her soul.

She cried because of fear, because of heartbreak, because of love.

~

The Coalition is rebuilding. We didn’t suffer as many casualties as before, and I’m glad for it. Still, there are funerals and heartbroken families, but no one holds a funeral for Aleric. My heart aches for the tom, but I know he wouldn’t have wanted a grand ceremony for him anyway. He would have liked a solitary and peaceful life.

Karina is still red-eyed from her walk out with Analese. The three Twolegplace cats have settled into our den to rest before making the journey back, although Gemma and Lucien are planning to leave tomorrow. Analese promises to stay and help first.

From the way she glances at Karina, I wonder if she wants to know how Aleric integrated himself here before she left. I still don’t ask who Elena is.

Terran has already talked to Karina but I haven’t had a chance since the war ended. She’s either been crying in the den, or I’ve been busy myself.

I walk over now. “Hey,” I say softly, “you holding up okay?”

“I just…I don’t want to think about him right now,” Karina admits, “I don’t want to remember those last moments.”

I stay silent for a moment, knowing that although Karina says this, she’ll want to tell someone.

“He saved me,” Karina finally says, her voice breaking a little, “I thought I’d never get over your sister, but he helped me realize there’s still more life even after death. He out of all of us knew what it felt like to kill.”

“You saved him too,” I tell her, because she deserves to know how much she meant to the dark brown tom, “You saved his soul.”

Karina just shakes her head. “I’ve never loved before, Bryce. It felt like I was falling and falling and he was at the bottom to catch me. But right now, I’m still falling and there’s no one there.”

“Wrong. Terran and I are here. Nightshadow, Feathershine, and Applewhisker will gladly be here for you too. We’re all family now.” I try not to think too much about how Aleric would have been family too.

Karina smiles sadly. I know she hasn’t gone to visit his grave yet but I know I shouldn’t push it. She’ll go when she’s ready and if she isn’t…then maybe it’s for the better. Terran is right; we may have buried his body at his grave, but his spirit lives with us. We carry a piece of the assassin around with us everywhere we go.

“I loved him,” Karina looks up at the night sky, tears filling her eyes again but she just blinks them away.

“You still love him,” I remind her, “and I think he knows it too.”

“You know what he said?” Karina closes her eyes briefly, shutting out those golden disks that Aleric had loved, “He told me his yearning for me would one day destroy him. It was true.”

“Only because he wanted you to know he would die loving you,” it is all I can think of saying.

I wish it could have been anyone else. I think that Karina and Aleric deserved a happy ending out of all of us. Both of them had seen such darkness yet they had climbed out together.

But I know Karina will find it in herself to recover from his death. It’ll always hurt to remember a tom who had unlocked his emotions for her but losing a friend doesn’t mean we have to hurt forever. It means we will grief and mourn them but we can have happiness again.

I touch my nose to the top of her head. “We’re here for you,” I murmur, “take all the time you need.”

~

I dream that a dark brown tom stepped down from the sky like an angel himself and greeted a dark gray she-cat.

His green eyes glittered with the love that he had felt ever since he had met her and he brushed his nose briefly to hers.

Her golden eyes were bright with happiness and she purred as he murmured something into her ear. The two of them stared into each other’s eyes, memorizing the planes of each other’s faces as if this was the last time they would see each other.

I dream that there are angels in the sky and this particular one swept the dark gray she-cat up into the stars with him so that they could spend one more night together as if there wasn’t so much distance between them.

The End.