Talk:Rain Falls/@comment-8248793-20130827170434

SPOILER ALERT

The prologue really hooked me. Bella is sick, though you betta make her better. ;) <3 In the prologue, several times, you wrote it in first person, then changed back to third person.

Chapter One: Rainpaw has fire in her, and you used the name Leaf again. But Leaf is in AutumnClan, except for the fact they're different genders. Though it got confusing. Scorchpaw sounds old, cause he croaked xD I'm pretty sure he's young. You might want to describe why the Clan fell apart, but I understand why the story is like this, in breaks.

Chapter Two: Hm, so this chapter makes me question what I thought before. Was SpringClan in AutumnClan and WinterClan's forests? Or were they farther off, so Rain and Scorchpaw traveled to WinterClan's territory? just wondering.

Chapter Three: YAY SpringClan! This one reminds me of Vale, though I know this was written before Vale xD But I'm late in reading this anyways. I like the development of the story, it brings interest and it makes me hope for SpringClan's survival. Though I know for sure they will form, cause all stories end like that xD Unless...

Chapter Four: Ughhhh. No Roo. Why? Why reform SpringClan? xD I thought you hated happy endings. Okay, so are these rogues the same? You might explain in the next chapter, but I'm writing a summary each time I finish a chapter. I like this belief thing, though how did thy find all their Clanmates, when they're old forest was like four days away? And everyone could have gone anywhere...

Chapter Five: Proven Proven Proven. ;) Fine, I'm loving SpringClan now, just because of this chapter. Those words. We are truly a Clan. SpringClan. Yes, perfect speech. :D <3 Dude, this is one of the best series I've ever read, and I'm glad the random page button brought me here :D

Epilogue: Okay, was this in first person, or third person? Because you wrote two lines of third person, then switched to first person for the rest. But other than that, it was kinda short, but meaningful and of course lovely. My wish fulfilled! :D

Random Other Stuff: Um, the templete on the top. It's blinding me. Its way too bright, maybe not use yellow?

END OF SPOILER ALERT (And my super long comment)

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