Talk:Dark of Night: The Consequences of Voicing My Opinion/@comment-25531638-20131124171903

SPOILERS

I really like what you have so far :) I think you've given Dark of Night sort of a smart-alec personality, even though it's not too much of an extreme one. I likey. And having Flash as her mentor certainly makes things interesting... to be honest, I'm kind of expecting Flash to open up sometime soon.

although, I noticed that you made a lot of minor typos, like you called Flight "Flught" once, and there were other little things, not too big of a deal.

I would suggest making those little narrative sentences between sections a bit longer too, or get rid of them entirely (you don't have to do these things, I'm just suggesting them :)), because sometimes I think they seem like fillers for parts that you don't want to write, or wouldn't be that interesting, and it makes the story a little choppy. If you made them longer, I think they would flow rather well :)

Um... that's about it.

END OF SPOILERS