Talk:Outlaw/@comment-24207294-20150403185550

Oh, this is an interesting idea! Is it something where Bluekit has almost no platelets, and the blood won't stop?

This is really good! I like the way Bluekit's emotions are showed, about her frustration that she isn't fragile and that she's normal. I can spot almost no grammar mistakes, only two.

'"Nice try, Bluepaw," Darkpaw meowed. I sighed, handing it to him. "It was worth a shot."'

From what I believe, there should be a new paragraph starting before "I sighed....."

Keep it going! I can wait to see what happens next!!