Talk:Meet The Clan/@comment-5848758-20131109190750

SPOILERS

I love Lightkit, she seems like a nice character, and an adorable little kit. :) I like your descriptions of cats-I can envision them perfectly in my head.

You are also very good at diologue, the speech seemed realistic i.e everyone said cat-ish things. Also, I love how your grammar has changed-I saw no major mistakes. I like the idea about a kit coming to realise that outside the nursery, there is a destructive battle.

However, I do have a two gripes.

Firstly, this is very short. Have you finished it yet? It might be a good idea to combine the 1st and 2nd episode ideas together to create a longer one. You could've gone into more depth with Scarredleg's story about the war.

Secondly, the names. At cat called Lostkit? What is his warrior name going to be? The Erins say they try to veer away from the names 'Spirit', 'Dream', 'Wish' and 'Lost', as the first three are sacred to the Clans (dreams etc) and the last one is slightly...meh. As I said, what is his warrior name? Lostface? Lostheart? Losttail? Another wrong name is Moondapple. The Erins say that they steer away from this prefix as it is like the Moonstone/pool, which is also sacred. This is suggesting that the named cat is better than the others. I am aware that the Erins themselves broke this rule by using 'Moonflower' as Bluestar's Mother.

I do like the idea-I will defintley be reading the next episode.

Overall rating: 6/10 :D