Talk:Double the Darkness/@comment-24519368-20170604161738

You've definitely been using the language features I've taught you to the full extent! Your writing is now really vivid, and I like how you intertwine narration and decription. It it truly beautiful.

The characters, Ravenfire and Hailfire are very clearly established through dialogue and description (you are truly gifted at colour imagery), as well as their relationship, which is very solidly created by how they interact with each other. It makes me adore them as characters! Throughout chapter one, their character is explored even more. as well as the attitude of Skyclan as a whole.

I really want to continue reading this, so you'd better start writing more! I haven't read anything this good since Singularity! (Actually, you know what, Double the Darkness is probably even better!)

I feel like a proud mentor :3