Talk:Dare to try/@comment-7270915-20130623232914

Well, the story is interesting., but having the two kits fall in love right after Lightningpaw's father is killed in battle seems rather unrealistic. If my father died, I wouldn't immediately fall in love with my neighbor.

And exactly what Clan are these two in? What do their surroundings look like? What do Petalkit and Lightningpaw look like, for that matter? I'm sorry, I'm a bit of a detail freak, and I always try to make a mental picture in my head of what's going on, which is somewhat hard to do when details are lacking ...