Talk:Cracked/@comment-8248793-20160215193158

SPOILERS

I love the beginning, with dream and then you jumping right into the action. I do like how you have Lazuli take every precaution with the whole loudness thing and then have her succumb to her own fear and have her shout instead of being quiet. (btw perhaps the "boulders screaming down from the ceiling" should be "boulders streaming down...")

I realize this must be a common mistake because I do this all the time. We just have phrases, simple ones to describe expressions and the way they talk, and we just cycle out of them. But sometimes you use the same one too many times and the repitition trips up the flow. Maybe watch out for that?

I love the action in this episode though! It was so fast-paced, and I felt fear in my heart as they rushed out of the cavern, trying to find the exit. I felt a thrill when Lazuli was found missing, possibly crushed, and Wintergreen freaking out. you really made me feel the characters, and I totally felt for them in this terrifying moment.

Oh my gosh the ending action scene was really intense. you did a great job letting us believe Wintergreen was going to safety, with or without Lazuli (who seems to still be gone). I'm curious to see what the last part meant, and I have a feeling Lazuli had something to do with this.

This was a great episode, and I'm glad I picked up Mystic again to read :)

END SPOILERS