Talk:Equinox/@comment-8248793-20170614160328

SPOILERS

I was immediately pulled in by the fact that this was written in second person. Like I've always wanted to try something like that and you are pulling it off really well. So kudos to you for writing such an amazing story in such a unique way!

I like the distinction you make between Ayla and Solis, though there were times where I was confused on who was talking. I mean I realized Ayla is narrating this entire time but for a moment I was like "bloodthirsty? is this Solis talking now?" but it seems you've given them both a bit of an edge due to their upbringing. or because Solis is lowkey contemplating murder

Their relationship is very well defined, with Ayla explaining perfectly how love and hate can coexist. Because even though you may "hate" someone (esp a sibling), in reality, you love them and you'd do anything for them. I know because I have a brother. But the fact that they're raised in such a harsh environment and how Solis would still do anything for his sister warms my heart and it's perfectly described. It's realistic and I like how you incorporate Solis's immediate response in saving his sister from the weasel and from all the other dangers.

I was really sad when they were taken from Luna and you wrote that scene really well, showing us Ayla's panic, Solis's gentle hidden care for his sister, both of their struggles to decide what's best for them, and then their mother screaming for them as she was dying. Like my heart just got wrenched out and I felt so bad for the two of them.

Okay honestly I'm a little scared on how the two will end up because they promised to fight to the death and...they're too previous Blazey xD I love Ayla so far, she's a timid she-cat who is willing to be tough to beat her brother and I think I can relate to that. I wonder how their life in RiverClan is gonna be and if they'll return to the wilds because they don't seem like they're going to fit in the Clan tbh

<3 this so far! I'm glad I decided to read this :)

END SPOILERS