Talk:Legacy of TrappedClan/@comment-17759525-20140712192944

(Sorry I didn't do this earlier. I was camping all day yesterday and into today.)

SPOILERS

CHAPTER FOUR

Another poem with an interesting ring to it. It kind of shows what's already happened, but also what's going to happen, except in a really vague way. I like the way you're writing this :3

The first two sentences are really intriguing, and I like Cherrypelt's optimism despite their predicament. And Darkstar's call to the cats - I like how it's kind of a mockery of the Clan leaders' calls. I feel really bad for Pouncer, though; she doesn't even know why she's being accused of something, yet she's being blamed for it... and in the worst way.

The hesitation of the Purebloods is interesting. It shows that somewhere, deep down, they might question Darkstar's authority. They obviously have some loyalty to their friends, which could lead to a lot of things... even an uprising against Darkstar, which would be epic to see. And when it's shown that Pouncer and Brutal are mates, oh, gosh... I like the way you challenge your characters and force them to make decisions like that.

Her death is very dramatic, yet tragic; I can't believe that Brutal actually was willing to kill his mate in such an awful, awful way.

CHAPTER FIVE

Another scene with the kits and their interesting personalities. I do feel bad for Squirrelflight, but I do like the way the kits actually have a hint of sympathy for her. (Also, hooray, you used Lifeblood :3 )

An appearance by another Clan cat - Heathertail. I like seeing how the cats from all four Clans are all trapped equally; maybe they can begin to find loyalty to each other, which would be really interesting.

The way the guard is troubled is great foreshadowing. Something big is obviously going to happen here, and I can't wait to see what.

Augh, I hate cliffhangers.

END SPOILERS