Talk:Innocence is Bliss

Mmm, I'm quite interested in your story so far. ^^

I noticed four little mistakes, though;

'"I'm dieing!" she whispered.' (Dieing = dying)

'and she was pregnant with our leader Dawnstars kits.' (our leader Dawnstars kits = our leader, Dawnstar's kits.)

'Rosetail was my mothers sister and the clans medicine cat.' (my mothers sister = my mother's sister & the clans medicine cat = the clan's medicine cat)

Other than that, I think it's very nice so far. I'll be eagerly awaiting more!

(Pardon if I'm a bit harsh... hanging around fanfiction.net can do that to you. ^^)  Squall Leonhart"M a y b e . I ' m . a . L i o n .x" 00:51, August 11, 2010 (UTC)