50 Ways to Infuriate Firestar

One. Name Switching

Bluefire (my OC): *pulls Firestar costume out from under nest and puts it on* StarClan! I wish to change my name to Undeserving Leader! And Bluefire’s new name is Bluestar 2.0!

Clan: *dies of laughter*

Firestar: *returns from hunting* WHAT IS GOING ON!

Clan: Hi, Undeserving Leader!

Firestar: *dies*

Two. Copycat

Firestar: Cloudtail, go catch me five rabbits

Bluefire: *in high pitched voice* Cloudtail, go catch me five rabbits

Firestar: I’m a stupid face

Bluefire: I’m a stupid face

Firestar: *yells* I AM A DUMMY

Bluefire: we know already

Firestar: *dies*

Three. “Hey Dude”

Bluefire: hey dude, want fifty squirrels?

Firestar: yup

Bluefire: ok, dude

Firestar: clean out the elders den

Bluefire: sure dude

Firestar: and stop calling me that

Bluefire: I never called you “that,” I called you “dude.”

Firestar: sigh

Four: Dying

Bluestar: wanna pull a prank?

Bluefire: yeah!

Bluestar: tell everyone that Firestar died in his sleep

Bluefire: okay.

Bluefire: It is with great sadness that I announce the death of Firestar!

Brambleclaw: Yay!!! Come on, Jayfeather!

Firestar: what the—?

Jayfeather: It’s a StarClan cat! Let’s listen to what he has to say!

Sandstorm: Oh Firestar...

Firestar: BLUEFIRE!

Bluefire: what

Firestar: *dies for real*

Five: Falling Over

Bluefire: hey, here are your squirrels! *surreptitiously drops one*

Firestar: thanks *trips over squirrel*

Bluefire: GET UP FIREBUTT

Jayfeather: You twisted your paw pretty bad back there... can you make it to my den?

Firestar: Yes I— *trips again*

Bluefire and Jayfeather: GET UP FIREBUTT

Firestar: I’m getting some WATER... *trips again*

All of Clan: GET UP FIREBUTT

Firestar: *dies*

Six. Rubber

Bluefire: here’s your rabbit! *holds out a rubber toy*

Firestar: this is rubbery...

Bluefire: what on earth

Firestar: this is RUBBERY...

Bluefire: it’s rubber

Firestar: *dies*