Polar Zone/Twelve

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Everything is gray: his hair, his smoke his dreams

And now he's so devoid of color he don't know what it means

— Halsey, Colors

EVERLY

DON'T READ THIS

"EVERLY, LOOK OUT!"

I leap out of the way just in time as Plover and Eider careen past of me, seated on a piece of flat driftwood that is sliding down the snowy mountain.

It snowed a heap last night, and this morning the sun dawned in a beautiful blue sky. Nearly all cats--Snow Guard and Clan--are outside, making the most of the snow and above freezing temperature. Our breath still comes out in puffs of moisture, but it's possible to be outside for more than a few minutes without the blood freezing in your veins.

Farrah, Sasha, Plover and Eider have vowed to introduce me to the fun of what they call "sledding". You pick a flat object and push off from a point of the mountainside, making sure your path was as smooth and clear as possible. Then you let gravity do the rest, pulling you down at a crazy speed till you crashed into a snowbank or fell off your platform.

I still don't see what's so fun about the imminent possible of death, but I'm willing to give it a try. Farrah and Sasha come padding towards me, dragging a narrow wedge of wood behind them.

"You're small, so you'll fit," says Sasha, dropping it in front of me.

Seeing my expression, Farrah giggles. "C'mon, Everly. It's so much fun. Give it a try."

"Don't knock it until you try it, Everly!" calls Jett. He's trekking back up the mountain with his sled behind him. His black fur is covered with snow, and his eyes sparkle. "You're not truly a mountain cat until you go sledding."

I laugh, Jett's warm gaze and Farrah's smile driving away my doubts. "Okay. But if I die, it's all you guys' fault." I crawl onto the piece of wood.

"Don't be so tense, but hold on tight. And stay low so that nothing hits you."

"Uh, okay," I squeak.

"We'll give you a push," Jett's voice says from behind me. His paw brushes mine reassuringly. Then he and Farrah are racing along behind me, pushing my sled forward.

They let me go, and I'm flying down the mountain. Snow whips back into my face. I open my mouth in a scream that the wind carries away before it even gets started.

It is exhilarating. I let my body melt into my sled, maneuvering it as well as I can. I gain velocity till the world is just a smudge of white and blue.

The impact of hitting the snowbank knocks the wind from me. I get thrown from the sled and land face-first in the snow. The ground is cold behind me, but I am warm from adrenaline and pumping blood. I spring to my feet, muscles eager and ready. I grab my sled and begin dragging it back uphill.

Jett, Farrah, Sasha, Plover and Eider are all waiting for me. "How was it?" calls Eider anxiously.

In response, I let out a joyous whoop.

My friends answer with a chorus of shouts. "To Everly's first sled ride!" crows Jett.

"I love snow days," says Plover.

"What, you don't get enough snow?" asks Farrah amusedly.

"No, you know what I mean. When it snows a lot and then it doesn't freeze into chunks of ice right away. When we can go out and play under the sun."

I look up at the winter sky, the sun a sole ball of pale light against the cloudless blue sky. A shiver of happiness and awe runs through me. I wish my siblings were here to play with me, and I ache for the memories they will never get a chance to share, but the pain is dulled by the warmth of having new friends around me. For the first time, I think I might be able to move on.

Just then, Calder walks over and smashes a piece of snow against Farrah's shoulder. She lets out a shriek, and she and the others race after him, pelting him with snow.

I watch them go, a smile on my face. I am about to join in the fray when something bumps my shoulder.

I glance over and jump. "Lucifer! Quit sneaking up on me!"

Already a thin silver scar has begun to form along the side of his head. It's only been half a moon since I found him with the skin on his skull cracked open, bleeding out on the floor of the training room, but as Lucifer himself says, he's been trained for pain his entire life. It'll take more than a severe head injury to stop him.

"Looks like they're having fun," he says, nodding towards the shrieking mass of cats below us. Farrah has Calder's face pressed into the snow, and she's running a piece of ice down his fur. Meanwhile, Plover and Eider have pushed Jett into a snowbank; I can only see his flailing black legs as he swears revenge on the two little she-cats, who are hysterical with laughter.

"It's a snow day," I say happily, copying Plover's term for it.

He looks amused. "Every day on Thorn Mountain is."

I lower my voice and lean towards him. "How are you?"

He tenses, shakes his head. "Fine."

"You haven't been eating any of the food Greer and Cecily have given you, right?"

"No, I haven't. And Everly, I think we were right. The drugs... The asara leaves are in the food they give me."

"Thank the stars you figured it out. How did you find out about the asara again?"

He glances away. "I visited Riverfrost and Dawnlight, and Riverfrost told me."

"Riverfrost and Dawnlight. I wonder how they are. Maybe we should go visit them sometime."

He shakes his head immediately. "No way. What if someone follows us? I can't risk anymore with Greer."

I nod, instantly ashamed of myself. "I'm sorry." My eyes stray to his scar. I can't ask anything of him, not after what he's been through.

He notices, and positions himself so I can't see the wound any longer. "It wasn't your fault," he mutters.

"So now that you don't have the asara anymore... how are you surviving training?"

A dark look crosses over his face. "There hasn't been that much of it lately, but... it's tough. I'm fine, though. I can handle myself. I don't need that drug."

I am silent for a bit. "Have you been sledding?"

He looks at me like I'm on drugs now. "Excuse me?"

"Jett says no one's a true mountain cat till they go sledding. Have you been?"

Lucifer hesitates. "Cecily was going to take me once when we were kits, but... Greer called me inside for training. A meal first, of course. I didn't feel like sledding after that." I can see it dawning in his eyes: the truth of what his childhood had been, and why it had been that way.

But the sun is shining, and it is a beautiful day. I can't let him go to his dark place.

"Well, then, let's go sledding."

He blinks at me. Clearly under the impression that I'm nuts.

"I have a sled, but it'll be too small for you. Let's find a larger piece of driftwood. C'mon!" I bound off without checking to see if he's following. A moment later, he's caught up with me, my pace nothing for his long legs.

"I'm not going sledding."

"There!" I spot a piece of wood sticking up out of the top of an immense snowbank.

"Everly, the thing's gonna collapse," Lucifer warns as I begin clambering up.

I misstep and sink my entire leg into the snow. "Oops." I struggle to yank it loose. The snowbank shudders beneath me.

I plow on, sinking my teeth into the top of the wood. I pull back with all my might, and the plank springs free. "Yes!" I shout excitedly. "It's perfect for a sled--"

The snowbank crumbles. Snow plows over me in a wave, sending me head over heels.

I pop out, spitting snow out of my mouth, still clinging to the sled I found for Lucifer. Lucifer himself emerges a few tails away. "Look what you did!" There's a heap of snow on his head.

I look at him a second, then burst out laughing.

"I got your sled!"

He looks at me in disbelief. The smallest trace of a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. Even without the influence of asara, Lucifer is a tough acorn to crack. He trudges over to me and pulls me out of the snow by the scruff of my neck with a single heave. "Since you went through all the trouble, I guess I have to use it now."

"Yes, you do." I shove the sled towards him. "C'mon, we'll go at the same time." I run over the remains of the snowbank, tripping and stumbling as I do, till I reach my own plank of wood.

We pick a point to kick off from. "Are you sure this is fair?" asks Lucifer. "See, I'm a lot bigger and stronger than you, so I'll go faster and leave you in my dust."

"Yeah, but I'm not as big as you, so I don't have to push off as hard." I stick my tongue out at him.

But he has a point... I eye his sled contemplatively. Then I abandon my own, stepping onto the front of his.

"What are you doing?"

"We can sled down together. Our combined weights will make the sled go even faster."

Lucifer's eyebrows climb his forehead. "What, are you scared?" I tease.

"Me? You're the one asking me to practically hold your paw."

"I've already been sledding."

"Yeah, like once."

"Shut up and get on."

He sighs, his breath tickling the back of my neck as he climbs on. His legs brush mine. He hooks his claws into the wood of the sled. "Don't be so tense," I tell him. "And crouch down so things don't hit you in the face."

Grumbling. I feel him lean so his chin is resting on my shoulder. "Ready?"

"GO!" he yells without warning, kicking off.

I let out a wild scream of laughter as the sled hovers in the air for a second and then slams back down to the mountain slope. This ride is a lot faster than the previous one. I have no way of controlling our path, either; all I can do is press myself against Lucifer and hold tightly to the sled.