ELDERS WITH BEARDS!/Five



The glitter zombies poofed out of the box. Directly into the lake. That filled the lake with glitter and took the glitter off the glitter zombies.

"Finally, the glitter zombie joke is over," yelled the critics from above.

The non-glitter zombies swam all the way to the edge of the lake with their ELDER POWERS.

As Purdystar came up onto the side of the lake, he looked around. "I think ThunderClan territory is over here. We can tell everybody about ElderClan."

Mousefur nodded. "Let's go!" she yowled, and all of ElderClan raced across the shore toward ThunderClan territory.

"Why did this get so... normal all of the sudden?" the critics from above asked.

The narrator glared at them. "I... I was just trying to make it seem stereotypical!"

The critics from above took notes with their aomethingia pencils and clipboards.

Anyway, all of ElderClan made it to the ThunderClan camp.

"WHO ARE YOU?" yelled a miniFirestar.

"ElderClan!" yowled all the cats.

Sparkpaw fell on her face.

"Someone pick her up, she can be a hostage >:D" said Mousefur.

"SAID IS DEAD!" said the critics from above.

"Glare glare glare," said the critics from above.

The ElderClan cats poured into the ThunderClan camp.

"Hello, who are you? I'm Graystripe, elder of Thund-"

"WHERE IS YOUR BEARD?" yowled Mousefur in shock.

"Beard? Only Purdy had a beard, and he disap-"

Purdy shoved him to the ground. "THESE ELDERS ARE INFERIOR! HOW DARE BRAMBLESTAR NOT CONDUCT THE BEARDING RITUAL. ELDERCLAN, ATTACK!"

ElderClan poured into all the dens, trapping the warriors, apprentices, queens, fake elders, and kits in their dens.

"Just take our territory and leave!" yowled Millie desperately. "I'm sorry I don't have a beard! It's not my-"

Her yowl was cut out by the slice of claws. She fell to the ground like a dead leaf.

THEN EVERYBODY PARTIED!!! Because apparently Millie is awful for "neglecting" her grown-up kits. Do any of the warriors normally get their mothers attention?

Anyway, ElderClan repeated that a few times on all the elders, then a small patrok broke off and charged toward the leader's den.

"Corner him, it'll be quick," said Purdystar, acting out the stereotypical battle scene.

Mousefur nodded and charged up the Highledge like a crazed goose.

"Nice analogy," said the critics from above.

Anyway, Purdystar, Smallear, and Silverflame (because why not) charged up the Highledge as well, coming into Bramblestar's den.

"Your elders do not have beards. Your Clan disrespects them. Nobody feeds then voles, only everything else. And voles. What explanation do you have for this?"

Bramblestar shrunk back into the back of his den. "I... I didn't know..."

"Silverflame, Smallear, guard the exit," said Ms. Senile as she leaped at Bramblestar.

Bramblestar collapsed on the ground and died from the pure amazingness of the elder.

"That was easy," said a Staples button.

Suddenly, a triumphant yowl descriptive words stuff things rang from outside.

"SQUIRRELFLIGHT IS DEAD!"

Purdystar leaped onto the Highledge. "ElderClan now rules you! You are our slaves, just like before. You will bring us bedding and VOLES. NO OTHER PREY."

All the cats bowed. "ALL HAIL ELDERCLAN!" they yowled.

"Dramatic. I'd grade this one a C+."

"OMG BEST GRADE EVER AAA" screamed the narrator.

She pressed the end of chapter button in excitement.