Talk:Nebula/@comment-25630395-20170305160420

finally i have time to read this, and comment xD. going to do this comment in two parts, this one will be preface-three because this is a huge comment.

SPOILERS

PREFACE: I haven't read FtB in a while, so I assume I'll be confused by some parts of this story. Still, it was a very intruiging prologue. I want to know what exactly Nebula caused to happen. I've also always loved the concept of cat-eagle relationships you have in your stories, so that'll be definitely interesting to explore. My only criticism would be the 'telling, not showing' I see in the prologue. The descriptions don't really fit and seemed to interrupt the flow of the story. Personally, when I write in first person narrative, I've always avoided the 'my name is ___' line, but it does work in this context.

CHAPTER ONE: So this chapter seemed to be setting up the rest of the story. I liked the personality descriptions we got, but I wish you could've shown Padre and Conicodo's (?? i can't spell) interactions with Nebula and her brother. I assume Nebula's life is going to crumble into fiery ruin, so it would be nice to se what she was like before she changed. Still, I think these are going to be some very interesting characters, and you're setting up a great story.

CHAPTER TWO: That got intense! So Raji is bisexual, and she's their mother? And she watches eagles? It's weird, I know she hasn't even been a character in the story, but I really like her character xD And Supernova seems cool, though for some reason I don't really like Nebula. I also really want to know who that cat was... some criticism would be I wanted more imagery in the fight, not just Nebula saying 'I fought this cat'. She seems really possessive of Supernova, tho. And I wonder if that 'she was in love with her adopted sibling' has something to do with Supernova and Nebula's relationship...?

CHAPTER THREE: Oh, at first I thought it was Raji xDD I can sense the bond between Supernova and Nebula, which is really good. I was also shocked at the whole Pippa thing, poor her! And tbh I think Nebula is overreacting, lol, because she's so possessive of her brother. You've done a good job as painting her as an angry, villany-prone character, and I can't wait to see what happens next!

END SPOILERS