Parody-Sue

I was looking at some stories on my computer and found one of the first Warriors stories I ever wrote. It was also one of the worst Mary-Sue stories ever written. Well,&#160;I've&#160;just rewritten it and made it&#160;even worse. So now it's a parody!--Sparrowsong 21:34, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

Chapter One: Sparklingpaw Is Prettier Than You
Hello, my name is Sparklingpaw! I'm obviously prettier than you! And I'm so not a Mary-Sue! And it's so not annoying when every single sentence ends with an exclamation points!

My mother's name is Beautyspirit! She's almost as beautiful as me, but not quite! When I was born every cat was blinded by my beautifulness! Oh, wait, I guess that would be 'beauty!' Ah well! Like most Mary-Sue stories, spelling and grammar don't matter at all! Only this isn't a Mary-Sue story because I am in no way a Mary-Sue! Heck, I'm so not Mary-Sue that if I weren't the smartest cat in the world I wouldn't even know what Mary-Sue means! Speaking of my being the smartest cat ever, did you know that 3958305840 x 8300403 + 9 = 32855533669253529?! Well it does! Ok I'll stop using exclamation marks now!

Anyway, Beautyspirit is some made-up sister of Goldenflower. What do you mean, my dear Auntie Goldy doesn't have a sister? Of course she does! She's just not in the allegiances, not in the series, and never talked about, same as moi!

The fact that Beautyspirit is Auntie Goldy's sister makes us both *gasp* MADE-UP RELATIVES OF THE CANON CHARACTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZOMG THAT IS SOOOO NOT A MARY-SUE TRAIT!

I was walking down the street showing off my beautifulness to all those unworthy cats when a tabby tom walked up to me.

"Are you Sparklingpaw?" he asked.

I nodded and blinked my&#160;pretty&#160;amethyst-purple eyes that cried lovely glittering crystal tears and changed color based on my mood, as did my fur, claws, nose, dirt, saliva, tongue, brain, and tail. My glittering/sparkling tears were my namesake; when I became a warrior I would probably be Sparklingtear or Sparklingcrystal or Sparklingeyes or whatever. Sparklingbeauty or Sparklingperfection would work, too.

"I'm Tigerstar, but since Goldenflower's your aunt you can call me Uncle Tiggy."

"Hi, Uncle Tiggy!" I said in my lovely high-pitched but not annoying voice that sounded like gorgeous&#160;golden bells.

"May I have your autograph, oh beautiful Sparklingpaw?"

I gave him my autograph. Just then, all the toms in the forest (not including those extremely fortunate cats who were lucky enough to be my kin) magically fell in love with me!

More coming soon...