Jaypaw's Diary -Spoof-

Sep.
Sep. whatever number it is, Monday.

so, my mom got me this diary. and she had to use crowpaw's squirt gun to wake me up. she said i was late for my first day of middle school. yeah right, i still have 24 hours. and today, robinpaw threw a book at crowpaw, and it hit him in the forehead. i got the first bowl of cat cruchies, yay.

then crowpaw spit in it, the vile dung. so i smashed his guitar. crowpaw look behind you. robinpaw tried to break us up, but dad came home and she was distracted with a fake wand. what a nerd lol.

anyways, mom keeps coming in and i swear she's been sneaking stuff from my room. me and emberpaw ended up making a deal to scavenge mom and dad's room for my miising things. emberpaw said she does it nightly.

honestly, half the boys back in elementary were scared of her, heck, thats why i became her friend. now nobody messes with me. also, she got an award. most likely to get rabies. i got most likely to be a prank shop owner.

i think they messed up.

Sep. 2, Tuesday.

first day of middle school, i'm SO excited. not.

elementary was crap until i met emberpaw. bullies every corner, day after befriending emberpaw, bullies COWERED from me.

it's amazing how she can change a life.

anyways, mom squirt gunned me up, but with milk in it. so i dragged myself around, lazily sat around half the time, and was unaturally cold. then when i got on the bus, some idiot tripped me, so i turned to them and said "i know emberpaw" and then they said.

"i know fangs."

i'm like, and you got in middle school? jeez, some cats are just a little too much over teh deepside. like..

a mile over it.

tbc, jaypaw got lazy, and nighto caught his disease.