Talk:Double the Darkness/@comment-8248793-20170720215053

SPOILERS

I like what you have so far! The prologue was a good hook and I found myself anticipating the kill because I knew that the leader would get to be alive again. I also found myself thoroughly enjoying the story because I love villain stories, and Ravenfire and Hailstar are such evil villains :)

Ravenfire is my favorite of the siblings and I like her strong will more than I like Hailstar's cunning coldness, but I know you intended for them to be fire and ice (I'm firey so i must like fire more haha). Ravenfire is very dependent on her brother, and I can see the flaws you've laid out for her and I think that's good! Every character should have a flaw and I'm glad to see that Ravenfire seems like the more likely one to turn good (although I don't know the rest of the plot so I can't make theories haha)

Hailstar's cunningness was very well written and I can see you have a knack for writing villains, although I have to admit if the two of them were trained by the Dark Forest, shouldn't they be excellent fighters? I don't think Hailstar should have been so easily defeated but of course, I might have interpreted that wrong and Hailstar is just rotten at fighting :P I just thought you could have made it so more cats fought? Hailstar could be good at fighting but he can't find five cats at once so I can see how he might die then.

I'm liking the story a lot right now, but I have to admit I'm a bit confused on what's going on xD The story started out fast-paced, which is something I tend to like in a story, and I see that we're getting flashbacks to explain situations and what might have led Ravenfire and Hailstar up to this moment. So of course, I'm expecting most of my questions would be answered in the later chapters with other flashbacks.

Good start!! Your writing has a fantastic style to it and I love the way you shaped your villains :)

END SPOILERS