Talk:Two Birds/@comment-8248793-20170628193406

SPOILERS

Wow okay I remember reading the first two chapters and realizing how obsessive Talonkit/paw was but I didn't realize she'd be so desperate that she'd even have an evil conscience that would influence her to do such terrible actions.

I honestly feel a little sorry for both of the siblings. But I think you've incorporated it well, having us hate Talonpaw's ambitions but realize that she just has a sick sense of justice and wanting. I really like your character development with Talonpaw because she's not really a villain, yet she's done enough that she has to be pinned as the story's villain. I like the fact that you have her war with her own thoughts as well, though her mood swings can be elaborated a bit more since in the murder scene she was sobbing and then suddenly she was like "nah don't care about them"

On the other hand, I'm beginning to adore Creekpaw and I think I'm going to like him a lot. He's strong in his own sense and I like that he's trying to stand up for himself, despite Talonpaw crushing him under her paw. I know he'll find a way out of it (if the blurb at the beginning is any indication), but I also like how you've made him weak at first and actually getting stronger and finding a sense of himself. The whole "i must protect you" goes both ways and I really like that as well! I like that Creekpaw doesn't lose sight of the fact that Talonpaw is his sister and he can't just hate her and push her away.

Plot wise, I was really surprised when Talonpaw killed the apprentices tbh because I didn't realize we would take such a dark turn so fast. Your description was good though! I liked the scene, I just wish you elaborated more on Talonpaw's inner thoughts and emotions and tried to have it more rationalizing rather than sporadic.

Also Creekpaw and Wisppaw are cute LOL Stonepaw is kinda like... idk she's not really a big deal yet but I like Wisppaw C:

Great story so far!! I think this is going to turn out to be fantastic to be honest <3

END SPOILERS