Talk:To Love a Killer/@comment-5488450-20130725203038

Ooh this is a really cool idea and I think you've done a great job building all of this suspense! I really like Sagekit, her almost bland charachter makes it really easy for just about anyone to step into her shoes. Sometimes normal charachters can be boring but you did a really good job shaping it into this story! The suspense is nice and you've got a lot of questions stuck in our head :)

A few things I'd like to point out, however. The first being that it was, as Rainy pointed out, a little fast-paced. That can be a good thing, but here sometimes it felt a little hard to understand. I think if you slowed down a little, and gave more details and transitions that would be nice. The other thing was at the beginning I was a little confused at first. I couldn't tell if it was a memory or dreams, and the whole first paragraph I just found really confusing. Perhaphs if you mentioned what it was (dream/memory) it would be a bit easier to understand :D

I like where you are going with this though, can't wait to see more!