Battles of the Derp

idek.

Jayfeather
Jayfeather: Hm. Should I hate Leafpool more today?

Leafpool: *across the other side of the territory* GOSH DARN IT CROWFEATHERRR!!

Jayfeather: Should I get a new prophecy?

Spottedleaf: *from StarClan* YES PLEASE IT'S LONELY UP HERE!

Jayfeather: Should I go be an ancient tribe cat again?

Half Moon: *from all the way in the past in the ancient Tribe of Rushing Water* I NEED YOU JAY'S WING!!!

Jayfeather: Why is the day so loud .-. Anyways i'll just watch some TV with Willowshine.

Willowshine: *right next to Jayfeather* kk.

Jayfeather: Right.

* loud explosion heard from outside*

Willowshine: WTDF WAS THAT!?

Lionblaze: *rushes into den covered in purple paint* ShadowClan is invading with paint! Cinderheart was splashed in the leg with red paint and it looks dramatic! HALP US!

Jayfeather and Willowshine: WE GOT DIS! *grabs water, runs out.*

Blackstar: AHAUDUDUAHDAUDHAUD UHAMHAFGHGDSFGSDGGDD!!! *spraying everybody around him with a paint gun loaded with red paint* DIE! DIEEEEE!!

Whitewing: OH NO MY PELT SO STICKY AND GROSSSS!! *falls over, covered in blue paint.

Russetfur: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! *sprays Toadstep and runs*

Jayfeather: Is strong battle! *pulls out a laser gun, lasers off Crowfrost's tail*

Crowfrost: AGHHH NOOOO!! *runs out of battle, scared if Jayfeather*

Lionblaze: Dude we need to take down Blackstar!

Hollyleaf: I got dis. *pulls out a paint-roller* FOR THUNDERCLAN AND NOT WINDCLAN OR ASHFUR!!! *charges at Blackstar*

Blackstar: AGAGAHAHAHAGAAAA wait hu- *is completely covered in green paint from Hollyleaf* NOOOO!! *loses life*

ShadowClan: dis just got reeeeall.. *flees*

Firestar: YAy! Yay! We won! Yay! *victory dance*

Graystripe: Woohoo! Millie is safe!

Cloudtail: *sobbing over Whitewing* Why! Her pelt was so shiny! But now it's uglyyyy!! *sobs harder*

Brightheart: *is dripping in yellow paint* The stickiness is turning solidd!!

Jayfeather and Willowshine: EVERYBODY GO TO THE RIVER IF YOU HAVE PAINT ON YOU!!

Most of ThunderClan: Oki. *cleans off*

Firestar: TOnight is the gathering, we shall scream at ShadowClan!

ThunderClan: Yay!

Willowshine: Got it.

At the Gathering
Onestar: I'm a jerk!

Leopardstar: I kick butt!

Blackstar: I'm mean!

Firestar: BLACKSTAR TRIED TO KILL THUNDERCLAN!

Everybody but ShadowClan and ThunderClan: *gasp* OMG I DID NOT KNOW THAT AT ALL!

Willowshine: SIGH

Hollyleaf: Yay I killed both Ashfur and Blackstar!

Ravenpaw: *peeping from bushes* FIRESTAR I HAVE DEMANDS!

Firestar: *faints, loses life, wakes up* kk wut you wunt.

Ravenpaw: A warrior name, I mean, it's way overdue.

Firestar: Ravenleap, now begone!

Ravenleap: YAYYYY btw something bout the Tribe and an evil plan to control all the plans, maybe Tigerstar is involved, but it doesn't really matter. *poofs*

Jayfeather: Do you think that was important?

Flamepaw: Very.

Blackstar: ENOUGH! Btw good prey, leaf-bare is new, same as always. THUNDERCLAN IS STEALING OUR BLOW DARTS!

Firestar: I'll have you know I purchased them of LeBay for a good price of 2 kits and a mouse!

Ferncloud: SO THATS WHERE EMBERKIT AND GOLDENKIT WENT!!

Oakfur: So uh, what happens now?

Leopardstar and Tallstar: *step back*

Firestar and Blackstar: *screeching at eachother*

Willowshine: I have an idea.. *whispers to Flamepaw*

Flamepaw: mmk. alright. you sure? got it.

Flamepaw: THE TRUCE HAS BEEN BROKEN, DERPCLAN IS ANGRY!

* tree falls on Tigerpaw*

Blackstar: *screams*

Sol: *flies in on a birdy* I TOLD YOU STARCLAN IS EVIL! *flies off before Hollyleaf can fully charge her obliteration gun*

Hollyleaf: Missed him! *curses*

Cinderheart: Blackstar begone! *throws garlic at Blackstar*

Blackstar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *runs away*

FIrestar: ...I guess the gathering is over?

All the Clans: *agree*

Meanwhile in the Tribe of Rushing Water
Tigerstar: Put the lasers over there, and the tnt guns over there.

Tribe Cats: This is evil work!

Tigerstar: SHADDUP!

Stormfur: I OBJECT! Goldenflower is better for you.

Tigerstar: *explodes Stormfur*

Brook: NOOO STORMY!

Tigerstar: *explodes Brook*

Small kit: *coughs*

Tigerstar: *explodes small kit*

tbc