Talk:Remember What?/@comment-8248793-20140518234352

SPOILERS

This is a great start Amber! :) I certainly enjoyed the way you described the pain, but I found a few mistakes you might want to fix:

"...as its warm meat slide easily down my throat." It should be slid not slide. "...the names Mintbreeze..." name's :3 Just some mistakes I think you should watch out for! Not trying to point out everything :)

But I really like how the first chapter was developed and written, with how the Clan cats found the main character, and how the pain came after she had injured herself badly. And I certainly loved how the connection to the title was presented early on in the story. The way how she lost her memory in just a contact with a rock is a great twist to the story. Especially since you didn't show that until later on in the chapter.

I think this is a great start, and I hope you keep writing :) <3

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