Talk:On the Side/@comment-5488450-20140102230332

//spoilers//

woww I love this; particularly the ideas and amount of length/content which was what I view to be ideal for an "episode". The characters were all brilliant and the builup of the plotline was very very well done; you leave it off at the perfect point and that last line was great!

just a few things I thought I should point out, however;


 * you at first claimed that Shade was mad and crazy and she went totally bonkers but when we were introduced to her later on she seemed to be a rather chill, level-headed cat. This caused some confusion and inconsistency and it managed to point a direct finger at a flaw in this story


 * there's a lot of repition; especially when they're going around with all the clans, it feels as though you keep repeating a lot of the story, just resaying it in a different way to make it sound more unique. Instead, maybe you should try just summing it it up by saying 'we spoke to thunderclan as well' instead of mentioning how they explained the situation and all

and that was all really, fabulous, as should be expected from the fabulous firy!