Talk:Nebula/@comment-25630395-20170801235405

wfwa judging-

SPOILERS

Commented on this fairly recently, so this is just a quick update + comments for your WFWA category.

CHAPTER NINE: So Nebula wants to help Talon avenge her home? That sounds pretty interesting- I'd actually love to see cats and eagles fighting together! But I'm still not clear on what exactly Nebula's motives are. Anyway, Alby seems pretty frightening and I like how Talon seems to think she's on top, but Alby really is the one in charge. Some feedback would be to just slow down. Your chapters are really short and this one moved quite quickly.

CHAPTER TEN: Okay... so Nebula's teaming up with Gar and Alby to get their home back. I still think this was rushed and Nebula was trusted way to easily. But I guess being a friend of Talon's gives her credit. Nebula's ideas seem interesting, though, but I don't know if they'd be considered 'genius' level. Once more, this could've used more exposition and time taken to illustrate how Alby came to trust her.

CHAPTER ELEVEN: So in her mind, Nebula is leaving Supernova behind. She seems pretty upset about this, and her interaction with Helix was bittersweet. I think it's sad how she was the one who take care of him but now he's afraid fo her. Still, I feel like the story is moving too fast for me to feel much for Helix since he hasn't had much 'screentime'.

CHAPTER 12: So... she wants revenge for the eagles? Because I don't really know who hurt her. I'm also confused about how cats can understand mechanics and machines but... sure. This sounds like it'll be intereting but right now I think the story's moving too fast for me too fully appreciate what Nebula's doing.

You were nominated for best style of narration! Nebula's first person narration allows for an insight into her mind, which is pretty twisted and messed up. It's quirky and different, admittedly a bit stilted at times. Either way, it's definitely unique! Best of luck with WFWA!

END OF SPOILERS