Talk:King/@comment-8248793-20170610040301

SPOILERS

This is an interesting concept! I definitely like the whole white singling out fliers from flightless but I was hoping for a bit of backstory on the whole reason why white is so significant. Then of course, you only have two chapters so I can't except too much being explained yet.

Hm, I'm thinking that because of the short length of the story right now, I should be feeling a bit confused but I'll comment on what I can for now. I really like the whole suspense we get on Stranger's name because I'm starting to think she's Fratz's only born kit [unless i missed the part where someone was already that LOL]? Or she's something to do with Fratz or else I can't see why we haven't gotten her name yet. Unless there's something way bigger going on O:

I like the split; it gives the plot more concrete twists but I think you should try to explain a bit earlier on the split between the group? also the whole Clan cat thing I'm not sure where all this stands right now, for example who follows Fratz? Who follows Moonstone? Who are the fliers and flightless and whose side are they on? I just want to know the lines drawn in this story because I think it would be helpful even with only two chapters in the story.

But your narration is perfect! You gave all three narrators so far a clear and distinct voice, we can see Fratz's struggle for control, Angelus's calm demeanor about being a spy, and Luna's nervousness about Stranger. It's a perfect balance and you do well with making them all concrete characters instead of blending their voices to make the story easier to tell.

I can already see so much potential in this and I know you have a long way to go! I'll try to follow along but I may need reminders to come back and read this <3 :)

END SPOILERS