Talk:Into the Darkness/@comment-26432133-20170408165018

(Contest Comment)

SPOILERS

Whew, the end is really nice! This mystery-evil group is quite interesting. I wonder why they're so evil though? It would be nice to see that. Also, when punctuating, don't forget to add a space after every bit of punctuation. For example, a comma is followed by a space, and same with a period or a question mark or an exclamation point or a semicolon or a colon or whatever other types of punctuation exist. I don't really understand how Acornpaw (yes, I'm calling her Acornpaw), grew so devoted to such a cruel group, and it would be nice if you could go more in-depth with that. If I think about it, I can see how, but it isn't present in the story- or maybe that's just me being a bad reader. The ending is beautiful, and I love how it ties into the title. It's a good trick to know, and it's pretty cool to see that you know it.

JUDGING:

Fightingspirit's an interesting villain. She had her influences, but she was still the one choosing to kill her sister. I like how she felt guilty at the end.

I don't really see what pushed her to become evil other than the group, and that doesn't feel all that understandable. But this was still a nice story!

I saw no strong cliches in this story, so yay!

OVERALL THOUGHTS

Punctuation could be improved, but that won't count against it at all. The story itself is pretty nice, and Acornpaw/Fightingspirit's loyalty to the group could be improved and explained a little more. The ending was satisfying in the way that it mentioned the title. Pretty good story, Giggle! Nice job!