Grieving Claws Series/The Mentor

"Cedarpaw's gone," she tells me.

This dream is the same as always.

I am hunting a mouse. Stalking it. It is in a beautiful, mossy clearing filled with sunlight and happiness.

I am almost upon it, so I leap.

When I look at what my claws have killed, I see not prey, but Robinsong, my beautiful mate who I had killed moons ago.

And when I look up, I see my Clan glaring at me, their eyes filled with anger. At their paws lies the dead Sparrowheart, who died as a result of Robinsong's death.

"No," I whisper. "I was doing it to save her, I would never hurt her!"

"Never hurt who?" a voice cuts into my dreams like the sharpest claw I have ever felt.

This never startles me. His voice has always made my heart pound, my adrenaline pump. Any cat would think he was the source of my nightmares, but this wasn't true: he made them easier to bear.

"Go, eat," I suggest, stretching, staring my apprentice in the face. "Get out of the warrior's den."

Luckily, he understands and leaves.

I sit, alone, among the few still-sleeping warriors and think. What will I do today with my apprentice?

It occurs to me that he is not very good at hunting yet, so I should train him in that.

When I look outside, however, he is in the perfect crouching position and creeping perfectly towards a stray piece of prey.

"Cedarpaw!" I call. "That's perfect!"

"Is it?" my apprentice asks, straightening up. "That's weird."

"It is," I tease, crossing the clearing to meet him. "Try that out today. Go catch me a mouse," I command.

"Where?" Cedarpaw asks, looking around. I see his eyes pass over Lilykit, born just one moon after Cedarpaw was.

"Today's Lilykit's apprentice ceremony," Cedarpaw says absentmindedly. "Can we be back for that?" His gaze is hopeful and desperate.

I realize that this was just how I felt about Robinsong, so I nod. Your mother will be so proud, I think, to find that you've fallen in love. Out loud, I say, "Of course you can stay. Apprentice ceremonies are extremely important to our Clan."

Cedarpaw doesn't seem to hear this, because he is purring loudly. "Thank you, Oaktail! I'll go catch a mouse!"

As he runs off, I am struck by how much he has grown. My son, I remember. I have never forgotten our connection. I never will.

"Cedarpaw!" I call after him. He turns back, his blue eyes sparkling with happiness. "Yes?"

I can't find the words to tell him what I want to say. "W-where are you going?" I ask.

"The lake," my apprentice responds happily.

I watch him go happily. My life has taken a turn since my mate's death, and this is one of the times I think it could be for the better.

I sleep a dreamless sleep the next night, but the night after- the night of the half-moon- a dream comes to me.

A dark forest. No stars, no scents of prey. Not the perfect scene I usually imagine before I kill Robinsong.

A feeling of darkness envelops me.

"Hello," a deep voice purrs behind me.

I leap two fox-lengths in shock, but then I turn to see what I am looking at.

I almost don't see him, but then my eyes adjust and I see a black tom with glimmering red eyes.

"Hello," I reply, puffing up my chest. "Who are you?"

"I am the night," the cat growls. "I am the source of your nightmares. I am the darkness, I am the exhaustion."

"What?" I ask.

The cat wrinkles its nose. "I didn't expect you to understand. You're just a cat who only cares about his dead mate and a random kit he found in the forest."

"No!" I protest. "I understand. You're the source of my problems."

The black tom nods. "You see, Oaktail, I am forced to bring you here tonight. I am in a battle with the stars and the day."

"I hope they win," I snarl. Anger is beginning to spread through me.

"Well, they're actually the cause of your nightmares," the tom says smoothly. "You see, Oaktail, I send nightmares to the wrong cats by accident when I'm under stress. I've been meaning to send the nightmares to somebody else, but..."

I hold my tongue. I don't believe this, but I don't want it to be ruined, either.

"Forgive me," the black tom adds, "for my mistake. My name is Nightmare."

"Oaktail," I snarl back, although I know he knows my name already.

"Holding your trust, I see," Nightmare murmurs.

I say, "Oh, you know it's a Clan tradition. Don't trust anyone not in your Clan."

"I think you can trust me," the dark tom replies.

"Why would you think that?" I ask, my curiousity driving me.

He pauses. "Well, you see, I can save you."

I gasp.

"On one condition, of course, you understand. I and the other Dark Forest cats don't do things for free."

Anything would be payment enough to save me, I think.

"Give me your son's allegiance," Nightmare tells me, "or yours."

"I'll give you mine," I blurt. Not Cedarpaw, I would never give him up now that I have him.

Nightmare's sinister smirk puts me on edge. "Are you sure?"

"I have no regrets," I reply. My heart is beating.

"You understand that this is dangerous." His smirk makes me hiss:

"I understand." I turn to walk away, but I feel his claws sink into my legs and I involuntary collapse.

I hiss, "Do you have some sort of problem?"

He nods. "You don't know what I just did," he says evasively.

"Well, what was it?" I snap.

He shakes his head. "You're not ready."

The dream fades away.