Talk:Gray/@comment-26432133-20170713022513

wfwa judge's comment + commenting contest bc short stories are hard to come by so i'll double up on this

SPOILERS

wait what I didn't comment on this?

I absolutely love the symbolism of Graystripe's "lives." All these promises of "I'd give my life for you" drives home the whole theme of that. While you did say that his lives are just the promises, I noticed that he promised "I'd give my life for __" to everyone but his mother. Such a rude, ungrateful Graystripe.

And it's really interesting how you took and reimagined a canon character. Graystripe, despite having a whole come-back-to-the-Clans-with-a-new-wife story, was pretty ignored throughout the series in terms of what was going on within him. The way you had him keep avoiding "Silverstream died" was a nice touch, great job. And in that section, you captured the hopelessness Graystripe was feeling amazingly.

As for Gray being nominated for Best Short Story- at first I had trouble thinking of a way to comment on this as a short story rather than as any other story, but then I had some common sense smacked into me. The scenes that you chose and the way you portrayed them worked beautifully, and someone was chopping onions while I read about Silverstream. Short stories are really nice; you can pretty much chop out as much events as you want to make a coherent story, or blow a single scene out of proportion. You did great with both of those. The Silverstream part held up a lot more of the story, and I'm gonna go ahead and get an A in English / propose that that's because Silverstream was a very prominent part of his life. Plus Silverstream gets a small two-sentence part about her before we actually get into the scene.

If that isn't what you were planning (probably not), then hush hush because it's a good analysis okay.

Overall a great story, and turn in your library books you irresponsible child.