Talk:Wounds Beyond Measure/@comment-26432133-20170409060451

(Contest Comment)

SPOILERS

ONE

Aw, poor Mintkit. She wants to be noticed but isn't ;( Also, don't forget to spell out the eighteen! Looks a little more professional and it's also a grammar rule to spell out numbers one hundred or less (I've told you after you wrote this chapter, but I still wanna remind you ^^)

I gotta admit though, she's going about this all the wrong way. The second paragraph sounds like she's almost aggressively determined.

Grrr don't tease her you buttheads *spanks*

TWO

Aaaa Mintpaw sounds like she has somewhat of an eating disorder. I mean, she's got the same drive that those with eating disorders have, but she's applying it also to herbs. She's barely eating, which makes her feel good, and she puts on the herbs, which makes her feel good about herself as well, similar to how those with an eating disorder might say "Yay I ate one cheerio today go me." Mintpaw's really interesting; I haven't seen a character like her around the wiki or anywhere, really. Also, the song you chose fits this story so well, great job!

THREE

Primroseclaw you SUCK. (sorry I couldn't help it). But really, she's a terrible mentor. I love the characters in this story. They're so special. Mintpaw with her eating disorder, Primroseclaw with her being the...augh I have no name for the type of person she is, but I've seen her plenty of times in my relatives.

Mintpaw's so muddled. She's on the right track with not caring whether they think she looks or smells good, but she's doing it in such an unhealthy way and they aren't helping.

FOUR

* slaps Mintpaw* TAKE THINGS SERIOUSLY YOUNG LADY DON'T LAUGH WHEN YOUR LEADER IS TALKING YOU REBELLIOUS PILE OF POOP

Mintpaw's such a unique character wow. And I still kinda like her even though she grates on my nerves a bit. Nice writing there, Fox :D

Wow, Mintpaw. Woooowwwww. Making friends with Lionpaw just to get revenge on your sister/get her to notice you? You jerk D:<

FIVE

Mintpaw please listen to Dappleleaf anorexia is not healthy.

Yeah Lionpaw, femaleness is hard lmao

//slaps Dustpaw// Dang he's an idiot lol. And oh noo I have a feeling Sedgepaw is gonna spread some rumors about Mintpaw when she and Lionpaw are hitting it off so well ;-;

Sorry I'm not exactly being constructive but oh well I love this story xD

SIX

Oh noes I feel like my guess was true. And aaaaa Primroseclaw and Mintpaw are not looking good D;

They both have valid points I can't choose which one I support more aggghh

JUDGING:

While Mintpaw hasn't exactly been a villain yet, I can see her potential to become one. I see zero cliches here, so great job with that!

OVERALL THOUGHTS

Wow I love this so much. It's a really interesting story and I can't wait to read more! Wonderful job!

(also I'll comment on Chance again soon once I have the time)