Talk:Time/@comment-27725192-20170708212258

WFWA COMMENTING

I love the overall theme for this story, it's nothing like anything I've ever seen before and actually fits in with the story quite well. I also like the atmosphere of this fanfic as it's calm for the most part but also adventurous.

Amberpaw seems like an interesting main character. He sounds serious and hardworking and feels like he deserves appreciation for his persistence, and is upset when his mentor doesn't give it to him. Thornpelt is find imo, but Amberpaw seems a little too sensitive of criticism if you ask me. Which is good, that's a flaw right there.

What Maplepaw says is so true - he has no sympathy at all. He should be helping Maplepaw with her tough times rather than telling her to stop troubling him as his backstory is perfectly fine. I think he'll grow to be more tolerant of his peers and other cats as he matures. I also do hope he gets closer to Maplepaw and more of a friend.

Finally, I love Amberpaw's view of time. Although, the ending sentences are kind of repetitive, and I would prefer it if you made a variation for each chapter which shouldn't be too hard as you only have five, but the message should be in there clearly.

Good job so far! :D