It's Time to Let Go

"Please, don't go!"

The slender she-cat halted in her tracks. The setting sun gave her pelt a fiery glow. Crowfeather stopped a few tail-lengths behind her, hope fluttering in his heart, but he remained wary. She could go psycho and attack him. But then again, who wouldn't?

She remained silent for a few moments as he waited. He took a few slow steps toward her. He could hear the little sniffling she was trying to hide.

Finally, she turned toward him, her face rigid with a mix of anger and grief. "Why? You had so many chances to prove yourself, you failed every time! Who's to say you won't do it again? That this isn't just another one of you lies? Your games?"

Anger make the fur along his spine spike. "I wasn't playing games with you!"

"You lied to me! You used me! All I ever wanted was a loving mate and kits, but look what I got!" Nightcloud started laughing hysterically. "I mate who won't show me love, a son who constantly causes trouble." Her head slumped and her shoulders sagged. "All I ever wanted was a family."

With a torn heart and paws feeling like they were made of stone, Crowfeather made his way over to her and sat down next to her, just close enough so their fur lightly touched.

Nightcloud remained silent and so did Crowfeather. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't defend himself. Everything that was wrong with their relationship was his fault. He stared off into the distant lake from atop the whispering hills.

His mind stayed blank, no matter how hard he tried to think of words, but still nothing came. With a sigh he turned his head to Nightcloud.

"I'm so sorry, Nightcloud," he began, having a difficult time getting the words out of his rough throat. "T-there's nothing I can ever do to make it up to you. I know I'm the cause of these problems..." he stumbled over his words a bit, but she had her ears pricked, listening in silence.

"But... but I want to be a better mate. I want to have a better life, I want you to have a better life. I just want to try..." Crowfeather stopped, his heart cracking in his chest and his eyes watering so he had to close them.

When he opened them, Nightcloud was looking up at him, the anger gone from her face, but her sadness still hung heavy in her features. "That was actually the first time I've ever heard you apologize and sound like you mean it," she tried to laugh, like this was all a joke, but instead it sounded like someone was stepping on a bullfrog.

"She looked back at him with her dark eyes. Crowfeather had only recently noticed how beautiful they were. "I don't know if I can trust you..." she sighed, closing her eyes tight. "You've hurt me. Not just with ignorance and words."

Crowfeather flinched, recalling how he had swiped her face when she was trying to pull him away from Leafpool that one time. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm so... sorry. I'll try harder. I'll will be better. I love you Nightcloud. I really do. I love our son. I care about this family, I always have. I want to work this out, I want to become a better cat. I want you to stay by my side."

Crowfeather looked down at his paws, flinching at his thoughts. He didn't deserve Nightcloud. Why should she give him another chance after everything he'd done?

"Do you mean it?" Nightcloud's question took him by surprise, for some reason. Her voice was firm and her face was expressionless as she regarded him closely. He nodded. "Yes, I mean it. I'll do everything it takes."

She stared at him silently some more then turned away with a flick of her tail. "Fine. You'll get your chance. You've got a moon to prove to me you'll be a better mate and father. I shouldn't help you, but I do love you, so I will." She stopped, turning around to fix him with a burning amber glare. "This is it, Crowfeather. You fail, it's over."