Talk:The Beasts Beyond Our Border/@comment-28076378-20170508004010

SPOILERS

I noticed a few grammar mistakes, so Imma clear that up before anything.

Prologue:

it says "Murkydreams furious yowl" ... "Chestnutfurs kits were harshly thrown" ..."he snatched his kit up and began to dart off (this one should say 'kits' i believe since there are two) anyway, i was sorta confused with the dead queen... was that Mistpond? Why would they kill her if Chestnutfur forced her to take his kits? Chestnutfur seems to set his revenge very fast, I would imagine he'd need some time to think everything out first before deciding to seek revenge, start a rogue group... but I can see that happening in the future. I wonder if we'll see his kits again?

Chapter 1:

it says "her brother voice rang around her"... "Nopaw nodded and got up. she scented the air" ... "Nopaw went over to Troutpaws nest" ... "this didn't work the first few heartbeats" ... "But cant get up on time just" ... "Then Branchtail wont scold him"

So far I don't know how to feel about Nopaw and Troutpaw, I mean it's not even one chapter so I'll form more of an opinion on them later. I have a feeling I know who may have caused Quickfoot's death... *winkwink* I don't really have much to say about chapter 1 tho since it's no finished yet. I keep reading Nopaw as "Nopepaw" xD

This is promising, good job so far!

END OF SPOILERS