Talk:Main Camp/@comment-5488450-20130106191047

WOWZERS! THAT WAS GREAT :D

So, I know I have to be constructive *groans*. Anyways, I loved the stories and the charries again like always. The struggle Badgerclaw was facing was quite intense and I have changed my mind about SilverXAdder. You must do SilverXBadger instead. It just came to my mind but it would be SO AWESOME. Anyways, you know I loved it. The steady plot, my poor love Gorsefur (HE'S MINEE) getting all upset over his bro. I hated Bluestone though -_- She has to keep her hands off my tom.

However, it didn't really feel quite as much like warriors to me. Instead, it felt more like humans. The market and stuff... in a clan the cats all hunt for each other, catch prey for each other and stay in the same den. It almost sounds like a dystopian version of warriors, especially when the leader and deputy get their own special places :P

Also, I caught ONE sentence with this flaw: "His announcement was met with grim faces. All the joking, the messing around from the past few sunrises was gone, only grim faces and determination remained." You used the word 'grim' twice which ruined the flow of the two sentences a wee bit. Still, it was the only place I saw that, and I LOVE your natural way with words.

And my final piece of constructiveness was that moment between Gorsefur and Brookfall. Okay, what he said was SO sweet and it was quite cute, but c'mon. GORSEFUR IS MINE. I THOUGHT WE AGREED ON THIS DDDD:::: IN JUSTICE. I WILL HUNT DOWN BROOKFALL AND KILL HER BECAUSE SHE STOLE MY MATE. GORSEFUR LOVES ME AND ONLY ME.

So yeah. I loved it, as always. Brookfall still needs to back off and I am still insanely jealous of your writing. BADGERXSILVER AND ROBOXGORSE

I hope this was useful because it took me 10 minutes to write ^_^