Rising from the Ground/Eighteen

EIGHTEEN. GWYN

 You can take everything I have

It takes me a few moments to register that. Then I stand and offer her my paw. The brambles tug at my skin and a few drops of blood splatters to the ground. Ravenflight stares at my paw, as if not sure of my gesture. “I need to go find him,” I explain, “I know Blackthorn doesn’t trust me but I need to find Stormshadow.”

Ravenflight glances up into my eyes and I know what she sees. I needed Stormshadow. Surely she understood. She had once loved Artic.

She slowly unwraps my brambles and points towards to back of the prison. “I know you hate climbing but the only way out is to jump straight up through the brambles on the top and climbing up the cliff side.”

I nod and without another word, I leap up, tearing through the brambles easily, their thorns pricking my pelt. I feel my paws hit stone and scramble for my footing. I glance down and Ravenflight waves her tail before disappearing. I swallow nervously and continue my climb up.

It takes me awhile but I make it to the top and I emerge near the Pit. Funny, I didn’t know the prisons were near the dangerous cliffsides only fly warriors would dare to climb.

I realize I have no idea Stormshadow might be. I rack my brain. He’s a river warrior, he must have gone back to some camp with river warriors.

His old camps? I wonder.

I don’t have time to ponder though. There’s a shout from below and I realize the guard must have noticed my disappearance. I gulp and take off, my paws stumbling slightly from my several imprisonments and I crash through the forest, trying to find my way out.

Pawsteps pound behind me and I find myself tumbling out and strong paws catch me. “Whoa, are you alright?” This reminds me of the prison camp where I had stumbled and someone had caught me.

That someone…

I glance up blearily and familiar blue eyes fill my vision. The tom curses and drops me immediately and I hit the ground hard. By the time I’ve picked myself up, the IceClan guards have caught up to me and Stormshadow is walking away.

“Wait!” My voice cracks, “Stormshadow!”

Ravenflight appears at my side and pushes the guards back. “Let her go!” She shouts, “I’ll explain everything to Blackthorn.” To my surprise, the guards let go of me and I scramble forward, chasing after the gray tom.

“Stormshadow!” I catch up to him but the tom just turns away. “Stop that,” I whisper. He pauses, his eyes searching mine.

“Gwyn,” the way he says my name makes my heart crack, “you need to go back.”

“No,” I say fiercely, “I need to talk to you.”

“I don’t have time,” he snaps. He stalks into the camp and I stare after him, my heart cracking.

Making a quick decision, I dart in after him. Stormshadow is talking lowly with one of the she-cats and I skid to a halt. The she-cat is smiling slightly, and Stormshadow glances back at me and scowls.

I want to imitate his scowl but I don’t think that would amuse him much. I pad towards him.

He excuses himself from the she-cat and brushes by me once more without another word. This time I catch him by the shoulder and push him to the ground. Several cats shout in surprise but I keep my gaze on Stormshadow’s furious eyes. “Stop avoiding me,” I find tears at the edge of my vision, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“I don’t care,” the tom says, his blue eyes hard and unforgiving, “you were willing to give up a life to live a selfish one. I can’t love someone like that.”

“I’m trying to fix my mistakes!” I cry out, “Please.”

Stormshadow takes a few breaths. He pushes himself up, knocking me aside due to his broad stature. “Gwyn, I have nothing to do with your mistakes. Nothing you did had anything to do with me. I don’t even want to be a fly warrior anymore. I’m a river warrior and I’ll fight the war with my own way.”

“Please,” I plead, trying to block his path, “and you are still part of all this. I love you.”

Stormshadow is shaking slightly. “Stop,” he commands, “I’m not going back to that. I’m going to restore my old life and stay here. Find a life here instead.”

Hurt pierces me but I stand my ground. “I love you,” I whisper, “you can never take that away from me.”

I don’t know where I end up, but I find myself padding away from the gray tom, tears stinging my eyes. I’m tired of crying.

~

It takes me awhile to realize I’m seated in the fly warriors’ training clearing. The stream gurgles next to me and I carefully wipe away the tears. Pawsteps sound from behind me but I don’t turn at all. A tail wraps around me and I lean into it, not surprised to find Ravenflight there.

But the rest of the fly warriors shock me. They’re seated behind us, their silent support urging me onwards.

“Did you go talk to Stormshadow?” Ravenflight asks quietly.

I nod, sniffing slightly. “He didn’t want to talk to me,” I whisper, “he wanted to erase this part of his life and just go back to what he was before prison.”

Ravenflight sighs and pats me gently with one paw. “He’s just shocked, Gwyn, he didn’t realize the reality of this war can lead to many dark secrets. The river warriors don’t experience much of this sort of thing as much as we do.”

“What sort of thing is this?”

The black she-cat shrugs. “Raiders. They only come in contact with them in regards of battle.”

“You’ve experienced this once,” I retort, rolling my eyes.

Ravenflight grins, “One more than them!”

I glance behind me at the other fly warriors. “Well, you can’t tell me you aren’t shocked by everything that’s happened, right? I’ve screwed a lot up, didn’t I?”

“You’re fixing it though,” Ravenflight soothes, “now go back to the camp and try to talk to Stormshadow once more. I’m sure he’ll react a little better when his anger and hurt has faded. He was just...he’s afraid of your other side, Gwyn.”

I wince. “I just...I’ll try.”

“No need,” a detached voice emerges from behind the fly warriors. I turn slightly and see Stormshadow staring at me. “I’m right here.”

 You can break everything I am