Talk:Seeing Red/@comment-25630395-20150313094057

( this is a competition post)

SPOILERS

So far, you've done an excellent job. The plot has this mysterious, forbidding mood that especially comes into play when Duskpaw sees the spirits.

And I'm fond of stories that come after The Last Hope, and I must say it's not cliche with Dovewing-ditches-Tigerheart-and-falls-in-love-with-Bumblestripe plots. But Brightheart D: My wonderful Brightheart. That was really sad.

In addition to that, the voice in Duskpaw's head is creepy. It's kind of like Mapleshade who talks in Tigerstar's head ( that happens in Tigerclaw's Fury; I don't know if you read it).

Also, I was confused with Duskpaw's gender for the first half of the story. I know it was revealed in the earlier parts of the story, but maybe you could put it out there a little more? Just as a reminder. For some reason, I was getting confused with what tense the story was written in, but that's probably just me.

Great job!

END SPOILERS