Big Sister: ThunderClan Season 1/Week 1

Rules
Big Sister is a knock-off of Big Brother. Same rules apply. Each cat has 5 points to nominate other players with. There will be 16 cats from ThunderClan playing. 8 toms, 8 she-cats. The cat with the most points gets evicted. This season we'll have having two intruders. The contestants of each season will be those of the Big Brother season, except for the winner. At the end of Big Sister, the winner of Big Sister will go against the winner of Big Brother from that same season, and the winner will truly be decided.

Week 1, Intro Show
Voice-over: Please welcome your host, Honeyfern!

Honeyfern: Hi, guys!

Crowd: (cheers)

Honeyfern: It's great to be here! I'm going to love this!

Cat in Crowd: Me too!

Honeyfern: I'm going to announce the cats who are part of this show in the order they were evicted from Big Brother. Who's ready to meet our first contestant?

Crowd: We are!

Honeyfern: Well let's get started then! Please welcome our first contestant, Squirrelflight!

Squirrelflight: (walks on stage) Hi everyone!

Honeyfern: Squirrelflight, are you glad to get a second chance, considering you were the first to be evicted from Big Brother: ThunderClan?

Squirrelflight: I am very excited to try again. This will be very exciting!

Honeyfern: All right! Big Sister built an exact replica of the Big Brother house, so you should know your way around. Go right in and await your next housemate!

Squirrelflight: (walks in house)

Honeyfern: Please welcome our second cat, Longtail!

Longtail: (walks on stage) Hello cats and Twolegs!

Honeyfern: It's nice to see that you can, well, see!

Longtail: (rolls eyes and sighs) I went over this in Big Brother! This is a fanfiction! I--

Honeyfern: I understand, I was just messing with you!

Longtail: Oh, okay.

Honeyfern: In you go. Someone's waiting for you.

Longtail: Who?

Honeyfern: not saying.

Longtail: Whatever. I'll find out soon enough. Goodbye! (dramatically makes his voice fade as he walks through the doors)

(doors slam shut and Longtail's voice is gone completely)

Honeyfern: O...kay... Let's just continue. Please welcome our third housemate, Brackenfur!

Brackenfur: (gangnams onto the stage)

Producer: No! Big Sister told me specifically not to let anyone do Gangnam Style or they'll be evicted instantly!

Brackenfur: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Producer: My gosh...

Honeyfern: Can we continue please?!

Producer: Yes, sorry, continue Honeyfern. And Brackenfur, NO GANGNAM STYLE IN THE HOUSE, GOT THAT?

Brackenfur: (nods slowly and looks ready to cry)

Honeyfern: Aww, don't cry, Brackenfur! See what you did, Producer? You made Brackenfur cry! How could you?

Producer: Sor-ree, I was just trying to make sure he wasn't evicted instantly!

Honeyfern: (sighs) Brackenfur, why don't you go in the house? Maybe it'll make you feel better.

Brackenfur: Okay. (walks towards doors)

Producer: AND NO GANGNAM STYLE!

Brackenfur: Stop rubbing it in that I can't do it! I feel bad enough! (walks sadly through doors)

--In the house--

Brackenfur: (walks in, looking ready to burst into tears)

Squirrelflight: (gasps) Brackenfur! What's wrong?

Brackenfur: The Producer told me that if Big Sister sees me doing Gangnam Style I'll be evicted instantly!

Big Sister: You got that right! The thing's stupid! I don't wanna hear it or see it!

Squirrelflight: Big Sister, that's awful! Brackenfur loves Gangnum Style! You can't do this to him!

Big Sister: Can, will, did. Now shaddap.

--on stage--

Honeyfern: Welp, that happened. Anyway, let's move on. Please welcome housemate number four, Dovewing!

Dovewing: (comes on stage) Hello everyone! (turns to Honeyfern) I am so glad I'm getting a second chance. Maybe this time I can at least beat Berrynose.

Honeyfern: I heard that tone of voice! You don't like Berrynose?

Dovewing: No, of course not! He's a jerk!

Honeyfern: (gasps) How can you say that about my wittle Berry?

Dovewing: (facepaw) I'm just gonna go in the house now... (runs into the house)

--in the house--

Dovewing: Guys, Honeyfern is creepy! She called Berrynose her "wittle Berry."

Longtail: Oh yeah! They used to have a thing for each other!

Dovewing: You're telling me that a cat has great as Honeyfern fell for a cat as stupid as Berrynose?!

Longtail: Uh-huh.

Dovewing: Oh my gosh. I think I'm going to be sick!

Big Sister: Not on the carpet!

Dovewing: Sorry! (walks over to the tile and vomits)

Big Sister: (facepalm) Great. Janitor!

Shrewpaw: How'd I end up being janitor?

Big Sister: Because you're so pathetic you didn't realize you were about to get hit by a Twoleg monster when it was RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!

Shrewpaw: I was trying to feed the Clan!

Big Sister: And instead you decreased the Clan's numbers, so, (claps sarcastically)

Shrewpaw: (growls) (walks over to pile of puke) Eww!!! Why couldn't I have been paying more attention when I was hunting?

--on stage--

Honeyfern: Truly disgusting. Anyway, let's welcome housemate number five, Whitestorm!

Crowd: Whitestorm! Whitestorm! Whitestorm! Whitestorm!

Whitestorm: (walks on stage) It's good to be loved. (beams)

Honeyfern: Why didn't you do that for anyone else?

Cat in crowd: Because everyone else sucks!

Whitestorm: Woohoo! I don't suck!

Honeyfern: Good for you.

Whitestorm: I'm sorry, who are you?

Honeyfern: I'm Honeyfern, your granddaughter!

Whitestorm: Oh! I didn't even recognize you you've gotten so big!

Honeyfern: (beams)

Whitestorm: And now you're the host of a TV show! I'm so proud of you!

Honeyfern: (smiles so broadly her cheeks fall off)

Whitestorm: (screams) Medicine cat!

Jayfeather: (runs on stage) What is it?

Whitestorm: My granddaughter's cheeks fell off!

Jayfeather: Honeyfern's your granddaughter?

Whitestorm: (facepaw)

Honeyfern: Fix my cheeks already!

Jayfeather: (pulls out superglue and glues Honeyfern's cheeks back on)

Honeyfern: (pats cheeks and shakes head around) Phew! Thank goodness! Thank you, Jayfeather!

Jayfeather: (runs off stage)

Whitestorm: So, may I enter the house now?

Honeyfern: Absolutely!

Crowd: Whitestorm! Whitestorm! Whitestorm! Whitestorm!

--in the house--

Whitestorm: (enters) Brackenfur! Heeeeyyyy Bracky! Op op op oppa--

Big Sister: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whitestorm: (looks frightened)

Brackenfur: Apparently Big Sister hates Gangnum Style.

Whitestorm: (gasps) I feel sorry for your loss.

Brackenfur: (looks ready to cry)

--on stage--

Honeyfern: Oh suck it up already, Brackenfur! It's a stupid song!

Twoleg in crowd: IT'S THE BEST SONG EVER!

Twoleg in crowd #2: (singing) Best song ever!

Producer: SHUT UP! BIG SISTER DOESN'T LIKE THAT SONG EITHER!!

Twoleg in crowd: Doesn't she like any songs?

Producer: She likes this. (turns on music)

'''Sing us a song, you're the piano man! Sing us a song tonight, 'cause we're all in the mood for a melody, and you've got us feeling all right.'''

Twoleg in crowd: What on Earth was that?!

Producer: Billy Joel. Get with it!

Twoleg in crowd: Who's Billy Joel?

Prouder: Don't talk to Big Sister; she'll smack you. Hard. And not let you in this building. And steal your TV. And your car. And your house.......

Honeyfern: (in loud voice) Can we please introduce the next cat?!

Twoleg in crowd: Not until Big Sister likes good music!

Big Sister: (walks out at that exact moment) Honeyfern, what's taking so long to get the next cat in here? Wait, what did you just say about me?!

Twoleg in crowd: Um, nothing, nothing... (sits down and tries to look innocent)

Big Sister: YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE BAD TASTE IN MUSIC! NOW GET OUT OF THIS BUILDING BEFORE I SMACK YOU HARD, STEAL YOUR TV, STEAL YOUR CAR, STEAL YOUR HOUSE, MURDER YOUR FAMILY, AND ROB YOU OF ALL YOUR MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Twoleg in crowd: (runs for exit)

Big Sister: AND DON'T COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!

Honeyfern: My sister has anger management classes, so, you might want to take this. (hands Big Sister a card that reads, "Lilyheart's Anger Management Class Sign Up Online at http://lilyhearts_anger_management_class.net/sign_up/index.php? Or Sign Up by Telephone by Calling 987-654-3210 Go Here For More Info http://lilyhearts_anger_management_class.net/information/index.php? "

Big Sister: (glares at Honeyfern but pockets business card) Get the next cat in here. I'll be inside.

Honeyfern: (waits for Big Sister to leave) (turns to crowd) Think she's going to take the class?

Crowd: Yeah.

Honeyfern: Anyway, please welcome housemate number six, Hollyleaf!

Hollyleaf: (walks on stage) Took a while! Whitestorm came on forever ago!

Honeyfern: Sorry about that. We were just having, some, er, technical difficulties!

Hollyleaf: You're lying. Tell me what happened.

Honeyfern: It's a long story. Ask Whitestorm or someone. And if you don't know when you're evicted, I'll tell you then--should I remember.

Hollyleaf: (glares) I might as well go in then.

Honeyfern: Yes, yes you should.

Hollyleaf: (enters house)

--in the house--

Hollyleaf: Hello housemates!

Housemates: Hello!

Longtail: Brackenfur, I'm not sure why you're so upset about not being able to Gangnum Style. I mean, you never liked it!

Brackenfur: What do you mean "I never liked it"?! I love it!

Longtail: (flips through every Warriors book starring Brackenfur) The only thing it says that you like is Sorreltail!

Brackenfur: (blushes)

Big Sister: Quiet! I'm trying to make a very important phone call!

Big Sister's Phone: 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0. (starts ringing)

Big Sister: Hello? Hi, my name is Big Sister, I'd like to sign up for the midnight anger management session.

--on stage--

Honeyfern: Well, that answers that question! Please welcome housemate number seven, (gasps in excitement) BERRYNOSE!!!!!

Berrynose: (walks on stage) (gasps) Honeyfern?! You're hosting?! This is awesome!!! Honeyfern, I've missed you so much! (runs up and nuzzles Honeyfern)

Poppyfrost: (gasps) Berrynose, you're my mate!

Honeyfern: Sorry, sis. Don't worry, we won't have kits. He is officially your mate. But we are still close friends. (gazes at Berrynose lovingly)

Berrynose: (looks at Poppyfrost) (starts singing) I loved her first! (flicks tail towards Honeyfern)

Producer: Berrynose, Big Sister is going to love your taste in music!

Twoleg in crowd #2: Oh come on!

Cat in crowd: This exchange between Honeyfern and Berrynose.... It's disgusting! (leans down and vomits on floor)

Honeyfern: (sighs) Janitor!

Shrewpaw: (muttering) I hate this job.

Honeyfern: You know your mic's on, right? Everyone can hear you.

Shrewpaw: I got a mic?! This is awesome! (jumps up and down excitedly)

Cat in crowd: Hey! You're supposed to be cleaning up my puke! And hurry! The smell is really getting to me. (inhales and vomits again)

Honeyfern: Better hurry up before that cat causes a chain--

Cat in crowd #2: (vomits)

Honeyfern: Reaction.

Cat in crowd #3: (vomits)

Twoleg in crowd #2: (vomits)

Poppyfrost: (vomits)

Berrynose: (vomits)

Honeyfern: (vomits)

Producer: (vomits)

Voice-over: (vomits)

Shrewpaw: (vomits)

Everyone in crowd: (spontaneous vomiting)

Shrewpaw: Must... Not... Vomit... Must... Do... Job... (gags and swallows hard)

Honeyfern: Berrynose, just get in the house.

Berrynose: (nods and runs into the house)

--in the house--

Dovewing: Ugh! Berrynose! And why do you smell like puke? (inhales and vomits)

Squirrelflight: Eww!! (vomits)

Longtail: (vomits)

Hollyleaf: (vomits)

Whitestorm: (vomits)

Brackenfur: (vomits)

Big Sister: (vomits)

Berrynose: (vomits)

Big Sister: (sighs) Janitor!

Shrewpaw: I'm still busy out here!

Big Sister: Everyone out of the lounge room! Into the Diary Room!

Everyone: (runs into Diary Room and starts breathing heavily)

--on stage--

Honeyfern: (puts on gas mask) There. Now I won't smell the puke and I won't puke again. Cats and Twolegs, each seat has a gas mask under it. Please put it on. Then you won't smell the puke, so you won't puke even more, so Shrewpaw won't have so much to clean up.

Crowd: (reaches under chair and grabs gas mask)

Cat in crowd: This is too big! It won't stay on my face!

Twoleg in crowd #2: This is too small! My face won't fit on it!

Honeyfern: Then swap masks!

Cat and Twoleg in crowd: Ohhhh! (trade masks)

Honeyfern: (sighs) Please welcome housemate number eight, Lionblaze!

Crowd: Lionblaze! Lionblaze! Lionblaze! Lionblaze!

Honeyfern: Why are you chanting for him?

Twoleg in crowd #4: Because he's an awesome fighter! He's like, (waves arms like he's holding a light saber)

Lionblaze: This is Warriors, not Star Wars. Ooh, there's a fanfic idea! Combine the two!

Honeyfern: That could be very interesting. Are you glad you're getting a second chance?

Lionblaze: Very. This time I want to beat Ashfur, I want to beat him hard.

Honeyfern: Wasn't he your mentor?

Lionblaze: HE TRIED TO KILL ME JAYFEATHER AND HOLLYLEAF IN A RING OF FIRE!!!!!! I DON'T CARE THAT HE WAS MY MENTOR!!!!! MY SISTER KILLED HIM AND I'M GLAD!!!!!!!

Honeyfern: Harsh. Well, go join your housemates!

Lionblaze: (in hopeful voice) Is Hollyleaf in there?

Honeyfern: Not saying.

Lionblaze: (in mean voice) Is Ashfur in there?

Honeyfern: Not saying.

Lionblaze: (sighs and walks into house)

Honeyfern: How did he not notice the puke smell?

Shrewpaw: Because I finally cleaned it all up.

Honeyfern: Oh thank goodness! You guys may take off your gas masks now.

Crowd: (takes off gas masks)

--in the house--

Lionblaze: Hello house--eww it smells rancid in here! And where is everyone?

Big Sister: I sent them to the Diary Room. There was a puking chain reaction so we left the room.

Lionblaze: Is it the same floorplan as the Big Brother house?

Big Sister: Yes it is.

Lionblaze: Okay! (quickly hurries to the Diary Room)

Lionblaze: Yay! Hollyleaf's here! (scans room) Yay! Ashfur isn't here!

Hollyleaf: Yay! Lionblaze! (runs up and nuzzles Lionblaze)

Squirrelflight: Yay! Lionblaze! (runs to nuzzle)