Talk:Underdog (Night Visions Songfic)/@comment-8248793-20141024210112

SPOILERS

Okay um... what in the world happened just now?

I don't mean to be rude, and don't take this wrong, but this was REALLY hard to follow. Okay I believe you're trying to say that Cloverpaw was now an apprentice in... the Clan that died? And FeatherClan is now dead?

And now I like how you decided how the others will treat Cloverpaw, but that's kind of unrealistic in my opinion. Maybe one or two cats, but the whole Clan? I dunno.

Anyways, I really liked how you said that Mossleap was watching over his son, though I feel as though you could have chose better action words instead of having Cloverpaw just "yell" the entire time.

This wasn't a bad one! I did like Cloverpaw's spirit, but I still think you could have made it less confusing by explaining things more.

END SPOILERS