Talk:Demons (songfic)/@comment-5488450-20130723215958

SPOILERS

I really like the idea behind this fanfiction-and the way you portrayed the guilt of the apprentices was like really well done. I also think killing Cloverpaw's parents was sad, but a really neat touch! Sometimes, though, it was difficult to tell past from present, and the bolds, italics and normal font are confusing me a little so a guide at the top would be appreciated. You repeated words a lot like 'its all our fault' but you still did a really good job with it :) My final reocmmendation would be to take the box for 'Dare' and take it to the very very top above the video and the other writing and stuff :)