User blog:SmudgyHollz/How I Screwed Up...

I joined this wiki 6 years ago. Since I left things have kind of gone downhill.

Dont get me wrong, there have been some good times. I realise that Im very lucky. For example, last year I got 5 As and a B in my exams and very ambitiously hoped to become a doctor.

Then all of my friends left. Some went to college, some got jobs and some moved house. Whatever their situation, they went their seperate ways and began moving on with their lives.

I was still stuck in the same small town but now i felt very alone. It was around this time that my family was forced to move in with my grandparents.

I was suffering from anxiety and was scared to go to school. My mum was worried I was becoming depressed.

On the night that my sister was rushed into hospital, I began speaking to who would later become my best friend. I wanted to take my mind off stuff.

We started speaking almost every day and things got better.

Unfortunately - and I have been way too scared to say this out loud - I fell for her big time. I was very confused and upset that I suddenly had this jumble of feelings for another girl.

Sadly, my now best (and only) friend kept skipping school. It definitely caused a lot of strain on our friendship since I had no idea why she kept ditching me.

I did very badly on my mock exams.

This should have made me work harder but I was still caught up in other problems and this bad news just made me feel even more hopeless. I was only happy when my best friend was around and if we were fighting, I sat at home and cried. Pathetic.

I know that I have not worked to my full potential this year. I dont think I have achieved the grades that I wanted. So I will not get to go to university to study neuroscience.

Damn.

So my message to you guys is to study hard. Have no regrets. Be decent to others; don't be self-centered and bitchy like I was, because you have no idea what theyre going through. And never rely on others for your happiness.

Also I'm rejoining this wiki! Go check out StarClan's Whispers :D