Rising from the Ground/Two

TWO. GWYN

 Only silence as it's ending

“I don’t want to talk to you,” I find myself spitting out. Blackthorn’s eyes darken noticeably but Ravenflight steps forward.

“Gwyn, you can be of great help to us. You can help us defeat the Raiders.” The black she-cat pleads.

I snort, “Why would I want to help you defeat the Raiders?”

Ravenflight hesitates and Whiteflame took this opportunity to say. “Because they hurt Artic. I know you care for the deceased tom.” I inhale sharply and shoot him a venomous look. The huge tom stares back.

“Artic’s dead,” I say flatly, “he’s gone.” I want to stop there, but I can’t, “I killed him.”

Ravenflight winces. Mintsplash’s eyes flash in anger and she growls. “We could be executing you but we’re giving you-”

“Mintsplash, that’s enough,” Blackthorn snaps. The gray she-cat backs away a little and purses her lips. “Just execute me, fool,” I close my eyes, “I’m not helping IceClan. IceClan did nothing but kill my parents!”

“Artic’s spirit,” Ravenflight cuts in, “he chose IceClan because he truly believed it was right. His spirit will forever be with this Clan. You will be turning away from the tom that was your best friend.”

My heart tugs at the thought of leaving Artic and being his enemy. “He’s dead,” I repeat, “Plus… I betrayed him once, I can do it again.”

Ravenflight’s gentle yellow eyes remain that way for the entire time and the other fly warriors file out, including Blackthorn. “I know you want to continue hating me,” the black she-cat speaks first, “but I want us to understand each other.”

“Why?” I rasp, “How many times do I have to remind-”

“I think you’re really reminding yourself,” Ravenflight interrupts, “You’re berating yourself for making such a mistake. And this isn’t about Artic or his death,” her eyes soften, “this is about two cats who lost someone dear to them.”

“He loved you,” I close my eyes and surprise myself by finding tears threatening to pour out of my eyes, “He loved you so much and I tried to ruin all of that because I was jealous.” My breath catches, “I was jealous!”

I don’t know when but Ravenflight wraps her tail carefully around me. “Gwyn…” she pauses as if she is unsure what to say, “don’t be too hard on yourself,” she finally says before leaving me.

With no one around, I let the tears go and I crumple to the ground, sobs bubbling from my throat.

~

When I’m done feeling sorry for myself, I make up my mind. I call for a guard and when one finally sticks his sorry head in, I tell him I want to speak to Ravenflight. The suspicious glare almost makes me snap at him, but I’m determined to stay calm.

Moments later, the black she-cat slips into the den. “You called for me?”

“Yeah,” I cast my gaze down, “I want to...speak to the rest of you about strategies to defeat the Raiders.”

Ravenflight’s eyes light up noticeably, “You’re going to help?”

“No,” I say sarcastically, “I’m going to talk to you about what their favorite prey is so you can please the Raiders.”

The black she-cat’s coy expression fades into a smile. “I’ll go tell the General right now.”

“Thanks,” I mutter, not sure if I was making the worst decision of my life. (Which is impossible because I’ve made so many terrible decisions it’s not even funny.)

When she returns, she unties my brambles and leads me out. My first few steps are unsteady but even as I regain my balance, I’m totally unprepared for the harsh rays of sunlight that greet me.

“Woah,” I grunt, my eyes trying - and failing - to adjust to the brightness. “I’m blind.”

Ravenflight wordlessly leads me through the camp with her tail, navigating us around objects that others would probably just let me hit.

By the time we’ve reached Blackthorn’s den, my eyesight has returned but everything is in a bright, faded sort of color. We enter and I find the other four fly warriors - including Ashshadow (who I hadn’t seen during the attack on Ravenflight) - sitting there. I ignore their gazes and focus on Blackthorn. Ravenflight stays by me, almost protectively, but I’m convinced that she’s just there to make sure I don’t make a run for it. (What a ridiculous assumption since I’d be captured by the cats outside.)

“Gwyn,” the General greets me once more, “you have something you want to share with us?”

I swallow. I turn each option in my mind and question what I really want to say. Do I tell them the Raiders’ darkest secrets? Stars, if Artic hasn’t even done that then why should I?

“The Raiders are afraid of having an opponent that can match them,” I blurt out, “that’s why they’re so desperate to get their paws on the fly warriors.”

The stunned silence that follows my statement is the least of what I would have expected. “They’re afraid,” Sootflight - I think that’s his name - repeats.

“Yes, fool,” I snap, “I just said that.”

Ashshadow bristles and opens her mouth to retort something but Sootflight stops her. “So are we the only thing that the Raiders are afraid of?”

“They’re afraid of…” I hesitate. What were the Raiders afraid of other than the fly warriors? They must have been terrified of the idea of cats being fast enough to match the speed that Raiders are trained to use. That is why they created Artic and I’s roles after all. “They’re afraid of rebellion,” I decide, “it must have shocked them - and terrified them I suppose - when Artic decided to join the enemy side.”

“Which leads me to my next question,” Blackthorn stiffens, “which side are you on?”

I take this question into careful consideration. This is for me, I remind myself, not for Artic, not for Ravenflight or for any of this fools. I need to answer this question for myself.

“I’m not sure,” I tell the general truthfully, “but since I’m here, I think I’m IceClan.”

Disbelief shines in some of the fly warriors’ eyes but Blackthorn watches me carefully. “IceClan,” he muses, “you do realize you’ve just killed one of my most powerful assets?”

“Most powerful huh? If I had known that, he’d be alive right now,” I attempt to joke weakly.

Blackthorn gives me a thin smile (probably the most the old tom could manage) and dismisses the others except Ravenflight.

“Speaking of Artic,” he sighs, “you too need to clear a few things up.”

“What is there to clear up?” I evade, “She’s apologized and I’ve said something along the lines of ‘I killed your boyfriend’ about a thousand times already. I think we know what each other did.”

Blackthorn gives me a curious look at the last part but Ravenflight nudges me. “He means we should sort out our differences and whether or not we can be a team. I lost my partner again, and I need a new fly warrior partner.”

''Again. Another reminder that I killed Aspenpelt too.'' Stars my life is messed up. “I’m going to be your partner,” I mew in shock.

The black she-cat nods seriously, “We’re in the middle of a crisis and you’re our only hope.”

“Figures,” I mutter, “the she-cat who ruins it all gets to be the hope of the Clan she once hated.”

Ravenflight patiently waits for me to recollect my thoughts. “Am I supposed to forgive you or something?” I snort when she doesn’t say a word, “That’s not that easy.”

“I forgive you,” Ravenflight offers, “I should have every right to hate you. You killed Aspenpelt, you killed Artic, and you tried to murder me. But I’m not going to let these emotions overwhelm me, as I need to focus on saving IceClan.”

“I’m not like you,” I inform her, “I’m not perfect and I certainly can’t just throw out words like that.”

“You throw out other words without care,” the fly warrior says meaningfully, “you could easily act as if this is another one of those insults you throw around.”

I give her a solid glare. “This is different,” I tell her quietly, “this is real. This sort of decision can change you forever.”

Ravenflight stares back at me.

I close my eyes and think this over.

All or nothing, Artic better be worth it.

“I...forgive you.”

 Like we never had a chance