Talk:Silverpool's death/@comment-5019333-20140819002034

I will say that truthfully, this is relatively short for a fanfic.

Perhaps you could add a bit more detail on Silverpool's past, such as


 * her mate


 * more info on what information she has on the rogues
 * Has she encountered them before?

-is she scared to see them again?

-any enemies within the rogues?

You could possibly add things like


 * more detail

-what is the setting like?

-how badly do her wounds hurt?

-what do the cats look like, and how are they reacting? Why aren't they saving Silverstar? Do they say anything?

You did well in expressing the first person view. I thought it seemed a bit sudden that Silverpool was having her kits, but that's my opinion. Good story! Keep up the good work; I can't wait to read more of your fanfiction :)

--Silver