Talk:Equinox/@comment-26432133-20170713042216

wfwa judge's comment-

SPOILERS

yes melodrama sells well. Also, I both hate and love Snowflight mostly because I hate the concept of "civilized" which would bring me on a long long rant so I'll shut up about it now.

Honestly, I like Solis better than Ayla- sorry Ayla. I really like how you emphasized that they lost their childhood to circumstance, though Snowflight's envisionment of it...it really isn't that different from Clan life haha. I like how, especially in part two, you toned down the melodrama so that it wouldn't affect the parts that should be just narration.

I'm in love with how you used second person and didn't make it "Character X Reader!!1111!11" or "Choose your own path!!!!!!!!!" The second person, combined with Ayla's narration and her pretty speaking, drives home how she's telling the story. This form of second person is an amazing way to do it, and you pulled it off wonderfully.

i've been stalking this story for months you need to add more dude now now now