Talk:Hurricane(Songfic)/@comment-8248793-20130908024845

For da book club thing Roo did.

SPOILER ALERT

This is a very long songfic. And I have to say, you kept me hooked the entire time. Some mistakes you did. You had some spelling errors, and I remember these. Um, some of them were missing one letter, though I cant seem to find them anymore. And also, maybe instead of girl or boy, use tom and she-cat.

I liked the love part about Streamfall and Rockheart. I also liked how the songfic was practically a story. It should be a story. But the words in the songfic matched the story perfectly.

Rockheart and Streamfall's love relationship was a perfect one, and it matches what we experience today. I like how Streamfall had jumped to a conclusion, and didn't believe that Rockheart had loved her. This was a very twisting part, and it made me believe Rockheart was a different cat.

The scenery explaining Rockheart and Streamfall's night wasn't very moving. There wasn't much of love for me to experience, and feel it in my heart. Maybe you should add more of the scene, describing how they thought, and how they loved.

I remembered something you misspelled. "though" was what you wrote. But in the sentence, it was supposed to be "thought" It should be in the middle of the story, though I'm not sure. Because I can't really remember where.

Now the flood. The rain, the rain. Pouring down. To me, it was the depression of Graystar's and it was helping her kill off Streamfall. It might have not been the way you wanted it to be, but it was how I felt it.

Now the names of the cats. It made me feel like that many people were included. Like some of them were fursonas. Ex: Aquasplash. (Roo)

This was a very emotional story, and the actions, the descriptions were very well done. I hope this is very useful... <3 this and you.

END OF SPOILER ALERT (sorry if it is very long)