Talk:Amberglow's Mistake/@comment-5848758-20131115190853

SPOILERS

So I enjoyed reading this. I liked reading the story from a different point of view, and Moonfire seemed like a good cat. I liked the prologue, how Leafpool came to Amberglow. And I felt for the medicine cat herself, mixed up and troubled by something said to her seasons before.

I liked how Parselyfoot loved Amber, but she actually loved Moonfire. And when she died...That was a very moving scene.

However, there were a few things you could work on.

I felt like you skirted over the bit about him leaving the Clan. They wouldn't just cast Moonfire off with a snap of their fingers. I also feel that Violetpelt moved on too fast. And there is a huge biological error: Last time I looked, she-cats don't have kits in 2.5 moons. xD

I also feel that you skipped over the bit about Moonfire joing ShadowClan-I doubt they'd let him join that quickly.

I do like this though, and it wasn't a fail, I promise.