Jayfeather x Willowshine

Willowshine

I pad quietly through the night. I love night more than anything. It had a kind of magic, similar to that of one of those oasis-things that Voletooth used to tell me about when I was a kit. A breath of fresh air midst the chaotic madness that is my life.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love my life. I love my position as a medicine cat, it feels as natural as breathing. Nothing could ever beat the rush of adreline that surges through you when you realize you have saved a cat's life. Killing is so wrong for me, so against my nature. If it wasn't for the life of medicine, I would never be able to live with Windclan.

But there are times when it's hard. When you fail, when guilt burns in your heart. When life is a mass of chaos and you can't tell the difference between borage and juniper. When the whole clan is sick and only you can save them. During those times, it's all I can really do to steal a few moments to myself.

"Leafpool!" I whisper, and wait a few moments. Where is she? Then I remember. Leafpool is no longer a medicine cat.

"What do you want?" I hear a snarl. It's not Leafpool, I realize, disappointed. Then icy claws of fear clutch at my heart. I have been caught on Thunderclan territory. There is no way for me to run. The Thunderclan tom would follow me, and although I could easily outrun him any other night, I'm too tired to outrun a mouse tonight.

Fighting is out of the question. A tiny apprentice medicine she-cat against a well-fed, fully grown tom? That would be certain death. I can't see the cat but I can tell he is a tom, and no apprentice could sound that aggressive.

So I just wait for the end.

"Just because I'm blind doesn't mean I can't rip the fur off intruders!" I recognise the voice with relief.

"Jayfeather, it's me! Willowshine!" I cry. I can sense him relaxing but his tone is still the same as he replies.

"What do you want?" he snaps.

"I was looking for watermint. I got a bit carried away." I explain, but it's obvious that he will not believe any answer unless it puts me in the wrong. Stubborn tom, I think bitterly. Then I remind myself that Jayfeather has every right to be sour. He can't see anything. Not even the breath-taking beauty of the Moonpool. Not even me. That thought makes me somehow sad. Jayfeather can't and won't ever see me in the real world.

"Yeah, right." he snaps. At that moment, there is a rush of light. I can see a blue-gray she-cat with stars in her fur. She is very, very pretty but her eyes are full of stress and I can tell she used to be a leader when she was alive.

"Pay heed to Starclan's will, young Jayfeather. For

Two must meet once more as lovers forbidden,

And strive to reveal secrets that now stay hidden,

One of Wind, two of Thunder, and not forgetting one of River,

Must join to uncover the darkness that comes hither,

Stay true to your love, young feather and shine,

And pay heed to the power that will soon be thine."

The she-cat repeats the prophecy that Silverstream told me in my dream, and fades into the night air. Jayfeather and stare at each other.

"What can it mean?" I whisper, but I think I know. I hope I know.

"So two forbidden lovers will meet and find out this oh-so-important secret." Jayfeather begins to decipher it,

"One of Wind, two of Thunder... so it must mean one cat from each clan? River and one of Thunder must be me and you, or else there would be no point in telling us." I reply.

"Great. So you, me, and a couple of random cats are going to uncover darkness and follow our hearts. That's just great." he grumbles.

"But listen! Feather and Shine have to stay true to their love and pay heed to their power. They said your love. And I am Willowshine, as you are Jay''feather." ''the truth hits me as hard as a stone. But it can't be right. Medicine cats can't fall in love. I never intended to. It never even crossed my mind. I am already in love with my clan. Anyway, if I had to love a cat, it wouldn't be a grumpy Thunderclan medicine cat. But deeper than that, I know I can't help it. If only Jayfeather could see, and he was in Riverclan, and medicine cats could take mates, and Starclan decided to make the clans live in harmony, and I could have kits...

None of that is going to happen. Why have I suddenly started to wish for all this? I had never wanted a mate before, or kits. I still don't want any of it. My paws are set on the path of a medicine cat, and it is the same for Jayfeather. Two medicine cat paths will never entwine. They lead, ultimately, to the same place. But they will never join as one till we reach the end of this path that is life.

Why should I love him? Why not Grasspelt, or Beetlewhisker? They are just as bad tempered. I close my eyes, and feel myself being taken back to a kithood memory.

''I lay sprawled on the nursery floor. Robinkit was squealing, as usual. He was always eager to fight. And he always had to win. Even when we played at mossball, Robinkit was either the winner or a sulker. It was easier to let him feel gloriful than fight back.''

''"I won the playfight! Mother, why is Willowkit so weak?" he squeaked. Mosspelt looked at me, and I was surprised to see pride in her eyes.''

''"Why is Robinkit always mean and grumpy?" I whined.''

''"Willowkit, can you see outside?" she whispered, Surprised, I peered out of the entrance to the nursery.''

''"No, Mother. It's all dark and horrible." I replied.''

''"No, Willowkit. You can't see anything, so how do you know it is horrible? You can't see any of the things that make outside look lovely. It's there, but it's covered up. If you have the patience to wait till sunlight, you will see the real beauty." she told me softly. Sure enough, the next morning, I saw the pretty shells and the flowers and everything that made me love this place. I had waited and the cover of darkness had gone away. But what did that have to do with Robinkit?''

Now I understand. Jayfeather might be a grumpy old badger, but his grumpiness is the darkness. If I wait, The noble cat underneath will shine through. That's why I love him deep down. He's suffered so much but his heart is good. Grasspelt and Beetlewhisker are just plain selfish. And Jayfeather shares my passion, medicine, which means more to me than anything else. To me, Jayfeather can see more than any other cat in the world, because he doesn't kill. In my opinion, once you have spilt innocent blood, you can't see the world for what it is. You can only see a twisted, warped universe that you imagine to be real. Revenge and envy and hate cloud your vision more than blindness.

"You're lying!" Jayfeather snarls. He steps away from me, shaking himself in disgust, like a Shadowclan cat who has just fallen in the lake. In my head, I silently beg Starclan to tell Jayfeather that I am not lying. But nothing happens.

"I would never lie to you!" I mew.

"You're pretending to be in love with me, aren't you? So you can steal Thunderclan supplies. You're trying to use me. For Starclan's sake, we're both medicine cats from different clans! You might have all the other toms running after you, but I'm not mousebrained. I can see right through you."

"But... you heard the prophecy!" I splutter.

"It's all lies! We can't love each other! This whole world is just lies, lies, lies!" he exploded.

"Fine. You go and make more enemies. Go and ignore Starclan." I screech, unable to stay calm any longer.

"I will! I hate you, you stupid fish-face. I'll never, NEVER love you." he roars. I realize what he is doing.

"You don't mean it. You're trying to make me hate you. Because you're scared. You want to love me but you can't " I say softly.

"Lies!" he snaps one final time, before collapsing to the floor.

"You know, deep down, that I'm not lying." I murmur.

Briefly, almost indistinguishably, he nods.