Talk:One of a Wild Heart/@comment-28076378-20170303205651

Spoilers

Chapter 1

This chapter reminded me greatly of Into the Wild when Smudge and Rusty were talking about the wild cats. Sunshine seems a bit annoying, but I know she is just trying to protect her friend. I don't have much to say about this chapter. There were a few spelling errors, which I can point out for you. '... bristling Kate but back a hiss of frustration...' There are also a few 'I's that need to be in caps. I also suggest making the future chapters longer.

Chapter 2

Kate goes into the forest and gets beat up by a fox! Maybe she should have listened to Sunshine. Or perhaps it's a good thing Kate tried to prove Sunshine wrong, maybe it's her destiny. But Rainpelt and Volefur save her. Rainpelt seems like a nice cat, Volefur seems a bit harsh, but I can understand him wanting to leave Kate. Not much to say about this one. There are also a few errors. '... small mouse sqeaking...' '...fluttering abouth...'

Chapter 3

Streamsplash is very gentle and kind from what I can see, I like her so far. I have a feeling her and Kate will remain close friends. I found another error. '... plating around with birds and mice...' Still not much to say.

Chapter 4 

There is an error when Nightstar is talking with Kate. '... under to luxury...' Things are starting to get pretty interesting. I'm a bit surprised Nightstar asks her to join BranchClan so soon. Also about the cutter part, I know that this is just how the forest cats in warriors view kittypets, but I doubt Kate still wouldn't be able to go into the forest. I don't think she would have gotten that lazy.

Chapter 5 

This chapter is really short - once again you should try making the chapters longer. I'm really surprised Kate accepted Nightstar's offer so quick. She has no idea what a Clan even is, or if they're lying to her about things. But I guess some cats agree to things without much thought. She finally thinks about what she agreed to in the end of the chapter though, so that's good.

Chapter 6 

Kate's like trying to wake my brother up in the morning xD I was honestly expecting more outrage from the Clan about accepting a kittypet into the Clan. They really didn't seem to mind at all, well, except for Lionpaw. I think the whole, or most of the Clan should have agreed to with Lionpaw. I love Kate's new name! Wildpaw seems to fit her well. There were a few errors in this chapter. '..YOu have to wake up...' '...he had a scarred eye and on of his ears...' '...Nightstar gace a curt nod to Rainpelt...' '...Windpaw ife in the forest...'

You've improved a lot from your older fanfics! You've done a great job so far ^^

End of Spoilers