Talk:Drowned/@comment-25630395-20150322065403

( competition comment)

SPOILERS

This is one of the most interesting stories I've ever read. It's so... cryptic and intense. The prologue was awesome, and it made me really hate Stormstar.

Lightpaw seems developed, and you describe the characters well. The emotions in the story are vivid, and Fernpaw's death was sad D: I feel bad for Jaypaw.

I noticed a few tense errors. The story is written in present tense, and I noticed you slipped back into past tense a few times. Also, I feel like the introduction of Azure was a little sudden.

Great job! I can't wait to see how this ends!

P.S. Make Stormstar die a horrible death >:D

END OF SPOILERS