Talk:Dying Inside/@comment-17759525-20140919015252

So, obviously there's not a whole lot here yet. But I feel like I should start going through some of the stories which are being entered into my contest, so here I am C:

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PROLOGUE

So, the little stanza at the top is in and of itself mysterious.

I like the descriptions of the two apprentices, and it seems like they have a Cloudtail-and-Brightheart-esque relationship, which is always cute. All cats who have disabilities should have someone who loves them even still.

It's interesting how Sunpaw seems to acknowledge that they're breaking the warrior code, since most cats who take mates from other Clans seem to deny that what they're doing is wrong. His diverted sense of attention will certainly make for an interesting story later on.

"...but it was right enough for Hazelpaw." This line is like unintentional foreshadowing, like something's going to happen later on that'll break them apart. The last couple of lines, too, seem to foreshadow something important.

So far this is really good! I can't wait to read more :)

SPOILERS