User blog:Zaffie/Yo Folks

HEYOOP

THIS IS AN ADVERTISEMENT BLOG. :D Whoops, sorry, too many caps. But true story. <3

And, as you all know by now, when I make an advertisement blog feel free to advertise your own stuff in the comments... AFTER you have looked at what I am advertising. So here goes.

Today I am advertising my new storytelling site. http://silverwicksaga.weebly.com. Please try it out! :D

I will KNOW if you have tried it out, and if you comment before trying it I will SPAM YOU WITH EVIL SPATULAS OF DOOM FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Okay. Now that's sorted, feel free to go and comment advertising a story or site of your own. Hurrah!

Wow, this blog was boring. I shall now entertain you with a story about my dogs.

Yesterday, I was trying to get dressed and I realised that I couldn't find my only bra not in the wash anywhere. I searched the entire house, followed by both my little white dog (Honey) and my little black dog (Nyxie) (they were bored so they basically stalked me). Anyway, as I finished my second search of the entire house, I turned around to see what the dogs were doing and realised that Nyxie was wearing my bra. Because both the bra and the dog were black they kind of blended into each other and I hadn't noticed till now. *facepalm* I still don't know how she managed to get so tangled up in a bra, but she's not allowed near my clothes anymore. :D I was trying to keep her out of my room, but my doorknob broke, so now the door doesn't close, which makes it impossible to keep dogs out. To make this blog very slightly more interesting, here's the tale of my broken doorknob.

Zaffie's Mum: Zaffie, your doorknob isn't working very well. It feels a bit stiff.

Zaffie: Mum, I know! Just don't touch it.

Zaffie's Mum: *wiggles the doorknob* Wow, it really is stiff! *wiggles the doorknob some more*

Zaffie: Just leave it alone, it's fine if you don't turn it too much.

Zaffie's Mum: *turns the doorknob* *wiggles the doorknob* *turns the doorknob again* Oh, hey, Zaffie! Your doorknob is broken. :D

Zaffie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I told you not to touch it. -_-

Zaffie's Mum: It's okay, we'll just... *wiggles doorknob* Oh, hey, it doesn't close now. Zaffie, your doorknob doesn't close.

Zaffie: *rage*

Zaffie's Mum: Right, well, I'll go and cook dinner. Good luck getting dressed in a room without a doorknob.

(Did I mention I have two dogs who like to barge into my bedroom while I'm getting dressed? Only the doorknob could stop them and now nothing can. D:)

Zaffie: *rises bravely from seat* I shall fix the doorknob! *fetches screwdriver and ineffectually pokes doorknob for a while*

Zaffie's Mum: *walks past* No, Zaffie, you're poking the wrong bit. Here, let me do it.

Zaffie: But you're the one who broke it!

Zaffie's Mum: *commandeers the door and starts trying to remove the doorknobs*

Zaffie: *wanders away and fetches a spanner(wrench)* Here, Mum. Try using this to loosen the doorknob.

Zaffie's Mum: No, no, that will shatter the ceramic. ZOMG DINNER IS BURGLING. *runs away*

(Yes, she did mean burning. She usually either says burgling or sparkling when she means burning. We're just used to it now.)

Zaffie: *pokes doorknob with spanner(wrench)*

Doorknob: *falls off*

Zaffie: Hey Mum, I did it! I'm awesome! *does awesome dance of awesomeness*

Zaffie's Sister: *walks past* What are you doing?

Zaffie: Hey Mum, I can't reach the right mechanism from here. *takes off other doorknob* Mum, I still can't reach it! The only way to reach it is through that plate which I was trying to take off before. -_- You know, when you told me it was the wrong bit?

Zaffie's Mum: Here, have some special stuff to make the plate looser. That way when you try to pry it off with the screwdriver it might actually work.

Zaffie: *uses special stuff*

Plate: *is pried off*

Zaffie: Fantastic! *starts tinkering with the latch*

Zaffie's Sister: *walks past* What on earth are you doing now?

Zaffie's Mum: Zaffie! Dinner!

Zaffie: In a minute! *gets absorbed with awesome tooly stuff* Imma be a mechanic. :D

Zaffie's Mum: Andiamo! (basically means 'come on' in Italian).

Zaffie: *discovers that latch is broken forever* Hey, Mum, this is broken.

Zaffie's Mum: That's okay, we'll buy you a new one tomorrow at Bunnings.

Zaffie: Can't I just take the latch off that door which is literally never closed and put it on my door?

Zaffie's Mum: No, no, much easier to get a new one at Bunnings. Now go and wash all that grease off your hands.

Zaffie: *realises hands are completely black from awesome mechanic activities and goes to wash them*

Zaffie's Sister: *walks into bathroom* I don't even want to know, do I?

One Week Later

Zaffie: *still has no doorknob*

Yup, that's my story. If we don't buy a new one soon I'm just going to dismantle that door which is never closed. I need a door which keeps dogs out!

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed my totally awesome family life story (I know it's not as awesome as Smudge's *sob*) and you all better go to that place I just advertised before you comment. *narrows eyes* DO IT NOW. Bye de bye!