Talk:The Shining Star/@comment-32946794-20160725162156



Prologue

hmm, pretty gripping. Ive never seen such a gripping prologue. I like how Rowanwhisker says what should Dappleflower do.

Chapter 1

I think the kits could more describe what they see.

Chapter 2

Aww, I feel bad for Vixenkit and Swiftkit. What Clan would attack queen?

Chapter 3

One second thought: what Clan would attack a KIT?

Chapter 4

I like how the kits have illusion that they can choose their names. Ivybird or Fallowflower are classic (and bit weird) names any kit would choose.

Chapter 5

I find realistic that Fallowkit thinks her family hates her - my Brother whos seven is actually pretty bitter because he thinks i dont like him.......... back to the story.

Chapter 6

And Dappleflower lost her nerves and unfairly punished her kit. That is understandable, as she is young, experienceless and raises her kits all alone.

Pretty good overall.