Talk:Blood Fate/@comment-34633311-20150816130236

SPOILERS

I'm very confused. You have no paragraphs and seem to rush the storyline a bit.

Also, if you're going to list hrrbs, use Warriors Wiki for help. They've got a medicine page. Goosegrass doesn't exsist, you're merely confusing that with cobwebs.

Other than that, start a new paragraph when someone new speaks, for example like this:

"Hi, Driftkit!" Treekit yipped.

"Hi, Treekit," Driftkit said.

I think your characters could use development and action as they get older. Let's dive more into Flightkit's personality and timidity. There are plenty of ways to enrich this story and feel free to leave something on my talk if you want my help :)

END SPOILERS