Rising from the Ground/Thirteen

THIRTEEN. GWYN

 Go on and try to tear me down

Stormshadow is a mess. I’m pretty sure I’ve already told him that. He has wounds criss-crossing his entire body and most of them are spurting drops of blood, some are even infected. His eyes are half-closed in pain and I can’t really tell if he’s conscious or not.

“Why you?” I swear quietly. None of the others had turned up this badly. Even Ravenflight, who I’m sure would have been a prime subject of the Raiders, was relatively unharmed.

Why Stormshadow?

Maybe news was really travelling and rumors of Stormshadow and I were passing around. I tried not to think about what would happen if Stormshadow actually loved me.

Stars, I don’t even know how I feel about the tom.

Before I can observe the dark tom anymore, Enero strides into our prison den. “My favorite rats, all here,” he sneers, “any last words?”

“You’re going to kill us already?” I let out a sharp laugh, “Seems like a waste of a bargain to end us so soon.” I probably just made our torture even worse, ugh, great going, Gwyn.

“No,” Enero gives me a grim smile, “I’m here to make a bargain with you.”

“Another one?” I blanch.

“It’s very simple,” his icy blue eyes grew colder by the second, “If you promise to kill him,” he points at Stormshadow, “I’ll wave your crimes and allow you to return to your status as a Raider.”

It’s tempting. No matter how horrible that sounds, it’s definitely tempting. Stormshadow has opened his eyes now and he’s staring at me. “I’ll give you time to think about it,” the white tom steps back out of the prison and disappears.

Stormshadow finally manages to open his eyes. I can see in his gaze that he wants to know if I’m considering this or not.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to-” I begin to babble.

“Don’t you ever miss it?” The tom murmurs softly, effectively cutting off my rambling. His milky blue eyes are focused on me.

“Miss what?”

Stormshadow smiles slightly. “This. I mean, not the prison of course, but the Raiders. Your home.”

His words hit me hard. “This isn’t my home,” I swallow, “I…”

“IceClan may be where you stay now, but will it ever become your home?” Stormshadow’s smile doesn’t fade, even at his ominous words. “Perhaps you’re better off with the Raiders, instead of meddling with how much discrimination you can take.”

“I can’t stop now,” I whisper fiercely, “I don’t want to leave you guys. As strange as it sounds, I care about all of you.” I care about you.

Stormshadow tilts his head back, his smile growing stronger. I manage a tight smile myself.

“Gwyn…”

I glance up at him with adoring eyes before Enero shoulders his way into the den. Stormshadow snaps his mouth shut in an instant and the white tom leers at us, “It seems you two are getting cozy. Well I’m glad because this way I can play with your emotions easily.”

I flinch slightly but Stormshadow sits up a little straighter. “You’re a monster,” he says stoutly, a stoic expression on his face, “I’m not surprised I haven’t seen any of your offspring running around because you probably tortured your she-cat first.”

Enero freezes and glares down at Stormshadow. “Do you want to test my temper?”

Stormshadow juts out his chin. “Give me all you’ve got.”

“No, wait!” I blurt out as Enero raises a paw to strike the dark tom. “Stop,” I whisper, “don’t hurt him.”

I’m surprised when Enero stops. He spins around and turns his baleful eyes on me. “It’s all your fault,” he spits out.

“Excuse me?”

“Your mother fell in love with another tom. If IceClan hadn’t slaughtered him, I would have done so myself.” Enero’s face is twisted with some form of anger that I don’t understood. Stormshadow watches him with wide eyes.

I try to find the right words. Something clicks.

“You loved her,” I murmur simply.

Enero grates his claws against the dirt floor. The sharp sound makes me wince and the huge white tom seems to deflate. Then, he explodes. “Yes! I loved her and she rejected me for someone soft like your father. Ever since you were born I wanted to take you away until she accepted that she must have loved me too.”

“So you decided to take on this project of being anti-fly warriors?” I frown.

But Enero doesn’t answer. Instead, he turns and stalks outside without another word. I can only gape where he used to be as the den becomes dark once more.

“The things you learn every day,” Stormshadow flicks his tail.

I let out a little giggle at that and the dark tom strains to reach forward to place his paws on mine.

“Gwyn,” his blue eyes meet mine, “there’s something I have to tell you.”

I tilt my head.

“I...I really like you,” he breathes out, “every moment I’m away from you digs in deep and I wish I could be yours forever. But we’re in a war, and-”

I could only stare at him as the world spins.

Stormshadow snaps his mouth shut. “Sorry,” he mumbles, “I shouldn’t have sprouted that here when we’re probably about to die.”

No, I want to tell him, I care for you too.

But he’s right, there’s a time and place for everything and this isn’t the time to confess to him.

~

When I finally doze off, I’m surprised to wake up to see a familiar tom in front of me. I swallow as I stand stiffly, my eyes glued to his. “You’re not real,” I breathe out, “You can’t be real.”

“I’m as real as I can get in this situation,” the white tom gives her a small smile, so similar to Stormshadow’s smirk that I can’t help but gasp.

“Artic, I-”

He shakes his head. “Don’t apologize, Gwyn, what’s done has been done. You made your choice that day and now you’ve made your choice again.”

“What choice?” I ask helplessly, “I’ve been creating disasters after disasters. The result of me joining IceClan has been a failure.”

Artic closes his eyes and sighs. “Is that what you believe?”

I nod and murmur, “Yes.”

Artic’s eyes open in a flash. “Then go back.”

“What?” I widen my eyes in surprise.

The white tom I once knew as my best friend stands abruptly. “If you can’t accept your consequences, then go back to the Raiders. You’ve been given a chance to return to the life you’ve been earning for. Take it and accept that choice.”

“I-”

“Life isn’t black and white, Gwyn!” He interrupts, “You can’t just assume things will go perfectly or that one bad result will turn into a mudslide of terrible mishappenings.”

I stare at him. His eyes soften, “You’re going to have to accept that you tried to kill Ravenflight. You ended up taking my life. IceClan isn’t going to just forgive you for saving their fly warriors. You’re going to have to understand that you’re facing all kinds of discrimination here.”

Artic shakes his head. “This is your choice and you need to realize that.”

“What are you trying to say?” I feel so cornered, “That I should dump my friendship with the fly warriors, with Stormshadow, and just go back to being a Raider? Just because I don’t want to accept that I’ve done something I regret?”

Artic doesn’t look sympathetic. “Yes,” he says simply, “if you’re not going to take responsibility for it, go back.”

I bite my lip in frustration but the white tom spins around and begins to walk away. “Wait!” I call desperately but Artic’s next words dig deep into my heart.

“Just be glad you didn’t dig your claws into Ravenflight’s stomach instead.”

I stare in shock as my best friend walks out on me.

 I will be rising from the ground