Never Look Back

Part of the In The Shadows series.

Note:
''If you asked me what my role was in helping the Clans, I'd say none. It's safe to say I've made a mess of my life. They gave me a house and I chose alleys. They gave me a chance to stop Sol and I blew it. They gave me leadership and I... well, after reading this, you be the judge. I am Jingo. This is my story. ''

Prologue
Wind blew around the brown tabby in gusts, but she barely felt it. She had heard it. He thought she hadn't, but she had. And she wasn't sure what to make of it. Eight little words, yet each like a small candle, bringing new hope to what she had chalked up as a failure of a life.

"I won't forget you," she whispered softly. "I wish I could come with you, but if not... you'll be in my heart. Know that, at least."

She blinked away the tears that clung to her lashes persistantly. Then, slowly, her head lifted, as did her tail. She was strong. For them. For Speckle, the kits, Hussar, Pod, Fritz, and... for Flower and Pepper too. She didn't believe in the Clan's StarClan, but she was sure her friends were somewhere out there, looking down on her, watching over her.

As she slipped through the hole and the Twoleg nest, her home, came into view, the familiar sights and sounds of her life came back to her. It wasn't the Twoleg nest she had dreamed about as a kit, but, she thought, as Hussar's face appeared and she heard him announcing her arrival to the others, it was good enough for her.

Eight words.

"Good bye Jingostar. May StarClan light your path."

Chapter One
"They say if you eat too much prey it comes out your nose," Hussar said lazily.

Speckle arched her brows while trying to detatch Frisk from her ear. "Really. Somehow I doubt- Ow! Frisk! Your claws are sharp."

"Sorry," the little tom-kit said, trying to wipe the grin off his face. His sister, Fern, batted him on the ear.

"Be nice!" she squeaked. He laughed and tackled her, and both kits went rolling across the floor before bumping into Jingo's paws.

She smiled down at them and set down the pair of sparrows and pigeon she had come in with. "Sorry kits. Did you have a good day? Behave? Do everything your mother said?"

"Oh please," said Hussar, but Fog, the tiniest of the four, cut him off with one glare from her icy blue eyes.

Seconds later, those same eyes had melted into pools of crystal clear water as she faced Jingo with the sweetest expression imaginable. "Hi Jingo. Do you want to play with us?"

"Run away. Run away!" warned Chirp. "They'll suck you in and then never let you go. It never ends."

Jingo smirked. "A big tom like you afraid of a few kits?"

"He's not that big," Hussar pointed out. He studied the gray tom skeptically. "Looks like more of a runt to me."

While the two of them tussled, Speckle selected a sparrow and gave Jingo a grateful smile. "Thanks for hunting for us."

"No problem. It's my job."

"That's one heck of a job, if you need to feed fat old Hussar," pointed out Chirp, getting his revenge. Hussar swatted him. Jingo smiled to herself. This was the other reason for devoting her life here. Her friends. She would do anything for them; they relied on her, though the toms would never admit it. She wasn't boasting. In fact, Jingo was sure leadership wasn't a good thing. It was just a fact of her life, and she would have to deal with it.

"Yeah, but I can cope," she yawned. "Wake me tomorrow at noon. I need to rest."

Shutting out whatever rude comments Hussar and Chirp had to make about that, she closed her eyes, letting the tension ease out of her shoulders, and drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Two
"Jingo? You awake yet?"

The brown she-cat stretched and stood slowly, a rueful smile on her face. "I am now." Looking through the cracks in the window, she saw that it was still dark outside. She squinted at the black cat in front of her. "Jet? What's wrong?"

He moved into a shaft of moonlight, and she could see that his thick fur was dampened by sweat. His breathing was raspy and fast, and his voice dripping with fear. "I had those dreams again. I'm sorry." He turned away. "I didn't know who else to talk to, and the shadows... I couldn't stand being alone."

"It's okay," she said. "We've all had those dreams."

"Yeah, but you guys have gotten over it. I haven't." He stared at his paws.

Jingo got up, pushing away the vapors of sleep. "Let's take a walk outside," she suggested, as if calming a kit. "It'll help you think."

"I don't want to think," Jet said bitterly. "I just want to block it all out." But he followed her as they wove their way among their sleeping friends and exited the Twoleg den.

The midnight air was cool on Jingo's face as she breathed in the familiar scents of tar, dust, garbage, and, above it, the faint tinge of fresh grass from Twoleg lawns. The place she called home.

The two cats strolled side by side in silence, till finally Jet spoke. "I keep hearing his cry Jingo. Pepper's cry. Before they killed him." He shuddered and stopped, a single tear sliding down his cheek. His claws came out and retracted frantically. "And Sol just... He said it would work." There was a desperation to his voice now, as if she could stop it if only he convinced her.

With a heavy heart, she patted his flank. "I know," she said softly. "He had us all fooled."

A shriek cut through the night, making Jingo's blood run cold. Jet let out a cry and his knees buckled as he sank slowly to the floor. "There it is again. It's so real."

"That's because it is real. Some cat's in trouble. Come on!"

She tore out the little hole, and seconds later, Jet was by her side as they pounded down the alley. The shriek came again, this time closer and louder. Then a young cat appeared, her violet-blue stretched wide with fear. Behind her, jaws snapping, saliva flying, came a small brown-and-white dog. It wouldn't be a match for a group of cats, but for just one small-

''Enough speculating! Time for action, ''Jingo thought. "Come on!" she called to Jet, leaping onto the fence. "This worked once, it can work again," she muttered. "Run!" she yelled.

"Don't need to tell me twice!" The she-cat skidded past, and Jingo reached out with two paws and gave a trash can a hard shove. It teetered, but didn't fall. Jet leaped up beside her and helped her. There was a loud clang that echoed around the alley as the silver barrel knocked over several more. Stinking crow-food spilled out, but the mission was accomplished. The dog let out a whimper, then turned, tucked its tail between its legs, and ran as several trash cans barreled after it.

Panting, Jingo jumped off the fence and wiped her paws on the ground, making a face. "Yuck."

"Agreed," muttered Jet.

The young she-cat turned to face them. Her thick silver fur was soaked with sweat, and her sides were heaving as she fought to catch her breath. She smiled. "You just saved my life. Thank you so much."

"No problem," Jingo said. "I'm Jingo, and this is Jet."

"Iris," she said. "I'm not usually such a mess, but running for your life does this to you." She motioned to her messy pelt. Jingo laughed and turned to Jet.

"Shall we take her back to the others?"

Jet frowned. "Merry and Chirp won't be happy... they won't trust her. And we already helped those other cats but-" His gaze traveled to Iris once again, and it softened. "Okay. Might as well."

Jingo smiled. "Iris, how would you like to come with us?"

Chapter Three
"Where have you two been? Who is ''she?" ''Fritz's eyes widened and his hair stood up as they entered. Jingo hastened to reassure him; she knew how he had reacted when the Clan cats had visited.

"This is Iris. She was being chased by a dog and we saved her. I offered-"

"Oh no," moaned Merry ungraciously. She slunk into a corner and watched, green eyes glowing in the shadows. Iris paled.

"Is something wrong?"

"No," said Jingo, shooting the others a glare. "She means no harm guys. Seriously."

Speckle gathered her kits to her suspiciously. Pod shot her a look that clearly reminded them that Sol had appeared the same, and she returned it angrily. There was no need for them to flinch away from every newcomer. It didn't do any good, just drove them deeper into their paranoia. Sol was gone; they needed to break free of his grasp now, despite all that had happened. And it was her job to help them out of it, much as she didn't think she could.