What I Have Done

Part of the Songfic Series by Nightfern.

OA: Linkin Park

Plot
When Silverstar is found dead, the murderer, Darksoul, begins to regret what he's done to become leader, thumb|336px|rightbecause Silverstar was his mate and the mother of his kits.

Cats
Darksoul(star)- huge, broad-shouldered sleek black tom with dark green eyes

Silverstar- silver-and-white tabby she-cat with light green eyes

Featherkit- small, feathery black she-kit with light green eyes

Whitekit- white tom with yellow eyes

Songfic
In this farewell

There's no blood

There's no alibi

Cause I've drawn regret

From the truth

Of a thousand lies

I lay sleeping. Tomorrow I would get my nine lives from StarClan. Silverstar, the fresh young leader of ShadowClan, had been found dead this morning. Silverstar was discovered floating in a stream. Her body showed no signs of pain or wounds. She had fallen off the cliff and fell into the stream to her death. She left behind two kits- Featherkit and Whitekit- and her mate, Darksoul. I was Darksoul. And I had killed her for power.

So let mercy come

And wash away

Strangely, I felt slightly regretful. I mean, I had killed my mate to become leader. And my two kits were motherless. I heard wailing from the nursery. I stretched and padded into the dark den. Dusklily, a pretty tortoiseshell queen who was expecting kits of her own, was trying to comfort two small bundles of fur. She looked up and me and sighed. "Can they sleep with you in the leader's den? They're scared without their mother." I groaned, but picked up the two kits and nestled them in with me.

What I've done

I'll face myself

To cross out what I've become

Erase myself

And let go of what I've done

Whitekit whimpered. "Daddy, where's momma?" I froze. "She's with StarClan now, little one." The small white kit looked like he was about to cry. His yellow eyes watered. Featherkit, always the leader sniffed his fur. "Don't worry Whitekit, I'll take care of you." Her light green eyes were brimmed with sorrow but protectiveness.

Put to rest

What you thought of me

While I clean this slate

With the hands

Of uncertainty

I had become Darkstar. Even StarClan didn't know what I've done. But I felt horrible. I took a walk in the woods. Soon I found myself in the small pool that lead to the stream where Silverstar was found. I had met her here, I had killed her here. I remembered happier times: a silver-and-white tabby splashing in the water, laughing; a young black tom lifting his huge paw and squirting water in her face playfully...

So let mercy come

And wash away

I sat down and let the thoughts go into my head. I had led Silverstar here, then I leaped on top of her until she drowned. She thrashed, thinking I was playing, but soon, she began to panic as she realized I was not letting go. It was too much. She stopped thrashing, and I let go. I grabbed her in my mouth a pushed her down into the stream. Her light green eyes, so much like her daughter's, were glazed and still.

What I've done

I'll face myself

To cross out what I've become

Erase myself

And let go of what I've done

I couldn't take it anymore. "No!" I screeched. I was alone. "Please, StarClan, forgive me. I don't want to be leader; it wasn't worth killing the love of my life. Please!" No one answered. "I'll start over! I'll start fresh!"

For what I've done

I start again

And whatever pain may come

Today this ends

I'm forgiving what I've done

A slender figure descended from the stars. "Darksoul, StarClan will allow you to start fresh. You will die, and be reborn as Birchkit." she whispered. She looked... strangely familiar. "Silverstar?" I breathed. She nodded. "I'm sorry." Her face grew stern and angry. "But as punishment for killing me, you will spend one moon in the Place of No Stars before you are reborn to Dusklily." My face fell, but I nodded.

I'll face myself

To cross out what I've become

Erase myself

And let go of what I've done

I died the next day. But I forgave Silverstar, and I started fresh. As Birchkit.