The Warriors Rumors Show

Episode One: Are Jayfeather, Hollyleaf, and Lionblaze Secretly Leafpool and Crowfeather's Kits? (Contains spoilers)
Leafpool: Hi everyone! Welcome to the Warriors Rumors Show!

Audience: Hello!

Leafpool: I'm the hostess, Leafpool. Every episode, we have a guest. Today our guest is...Jayfeather! Say hello, Jayfeather!

Jayfeather: *Sighs* Hello.

Leafpool: Looks like Jayfeather isn't in such a good mood right now.

Jayfeather: How could I not be? The cat I thought was my mother lied to me.

Leafpool: I understand that. Do you still think the prophecy is about you, though?

Jayfeather: No. I'm not Squirrelflight's son, so I can't be Firestar's kin. Lionblaze just happens to be good at fighting. I only have my dreams because I'm a medicine cat. Hollyleaf just happens to be...uh...really obsessive over the warrior code.

Hollyleaf: My preeeeeeeeccccccciiiiiiiooooooooooouuuuuuuuuussss...

Gollum: Hey! You quoted me without giving credit! I'm suing you! *Phones lawyer*

Leafpool: *Bats phone out of hands* Gollum, you're from Lord of the Rings! You can't be in Warriors! This is a talk show, not a crossover! Jayfeather is supposed to be our guest today, not you!

Gollum: Aww, but I wanted to be Gollumstar and lead GollumClan!

Leafpool: Great StarClan! Spottedleaf, help me!

Spottedleaf: You called, Leafpool?

Leafpool: Would you mind banishing Gollum to the Dark Forest?

Spottedleaf: *Does so*

Leafpool: Thank you! *Laughs nervously* Now where were we? Oh, yes. Jayfeather, who do you think are your mother and father?

Jayfeather: *No comment*

Leafpool: This is called a talkshow for a reason, you know!

Jayfeather: I don't care.

Leafpool: Suure you don't...anyway, many - if not most - fans think that Crowfeather and I are your parents. Any comments on that?

Jayfeather: Uh, sure, I guess I do look a little like Crowfeather. Do you think I'm mouse-brained?! How could I not have noticed by now that I look just like him?!

Leafpool: *Presses emergency button*

Security: *Drags Jayfeather out*

Leafpool: *Phones ThunderClan* *Whispering* Hi, Firestar. Is my sister there? Ok. *Silence for a minute* Squirrelflight? You know those anger management classes you signed Jayfeather up for? I don't exactly think they're helping. What?! He murdered the teacher?! Oh dear! *The theme music from a horror movie of your choice plays in the background - it stops when Jayfeather appears*

Jayfeather: *Hangs up phone* I'm going to kill you for being half-kittypet!

Leafpool: I'm not half-kittypet! My father is a ThunderClan cat just like me! Wait a second...you're not Jayfeather!

Not-Jayfeather: No, I am not! *Takes off Jayfeather suit, revealing that he is in fact...Tigerstar!*

Leafpool: Tigerstar! I should have known it was you! *Presses emergency button*

Security: *Drags Tigerstar away*

Leafpool: Now, for the question this episode was supposed to be about. Are Jayfeather, Hollyleaf, and Lionblaze secretly Crowfeather's and my kits? We don't know! The Erins haven't written that yet!

More coming soon. Sparrowsong 20:34, 1 February 2009 (UTC)